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  • I'm going to publish that news post I wrote back in December soon.
    EDIT: Note my liberal definition of "soon."

    File :1234972642.png-(16 KB, 350x350, 8001.png)
    16 KB 20th Joandventure Scribbles presents: Yet Another Thread To Ruin Your /tg/ Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)10:57 No.3749447  
    Your happy family reunion isn't the happiest possible because John is being a bitch (figuratively speaking). Not that anyone else notices, but only YOU matter, Joan, so fuck their theories.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)10:59 No.3749464
    Why does Joan look coked-out?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)10:59 No.3749465
    John eat meathat
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)11:00 No.3749467
    Because you are.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:03 No.3749485
    > hug John
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:05 No.3749498
    > Read note
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:06 No.3749507
    So what are our options SDF?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:07 No.3749515
    >commit suicide
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)11:08 No.3749522
    This isn't a multiple choice test. Everything viable is an option - in theory.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:08 No.3749525
    Tickle John
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:10 No.3749541
    Inspect surroundings.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:11 No.3749545
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    I don't think he will be too happy
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:14 No.3749558
    leave John alone for the time being and get some answers from Grandpa and Grandma.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:16 No.3749571

    Don't care. I repeat, Find and Tickle John.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:16 No.3749574
    Explain to John that certain conventions of society have to be adhered for her own safety. We're not trying to be mean to her, we just have her best interests in mind.
    >> IEatChildren 02/18/09(Wed)11:17 No.3749578
    Get to know grandma and grandpa. They look cool and doesn't afraid of anything.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:17 No.3749579
    >kill John

    Until the rivers run red with furry blood, you are not done.
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)11:17 No.3749586
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    >>Inspect surroundings.
    As you remember (AND YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS YOU DO), John is being a figurative bitch because of circumstances and you chose to leave her to be a bitch by herself while you went to observe what everyone else (except that bitch, John) is doing.
    And there they are, unloading stuff and things from the ship, except for John - who's being a bitch - and manly cool nameless avenger man who most likely is inside, doing whatever it is that manly cool nameless avenger men do when they're guests at other people's houses.

    In the picture you can see John being a bitch - but you can't obviously hear her being a bitch over how you can see the sounds caused by people carrying stuff from grandpa's ship.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:18 No.3749589
    > Hug John
    > Apologize
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:19 No.3749594
    Fuck it, just offer to pleasure John later to cheer her up.
    Alternatively, just say it was payback for raep.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:20 No.3749604
    Grow tits.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:22 No.3749613
    Go ask manly cool nameless avenger man what his name is.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:23 No.3749619

    I think we already offered that, to keep John in our room. Guess it didn't work.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:25 No.3749627
    yeah that's an idea.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:25 No.3749630
    Tell John to keep out of trouble.
    Ask grandma and grandpa why we're so weak and uselss. Also, how old we really are and how we came to be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:35 No.3749690
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:36 No.3749699
    Yes indeedy, let's go outside and talk to mr. avenger.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:42 No.3749729
    The Double-Faggot. He is gone. He has abandoned us. We may only appease him through blood sacrifice.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:45 No.3749744
    So I'll fetch the obsidian knives then?
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)11:47 No.3749753
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    Manly cool nameless avenger man hisself said that he's just a nameless avenger. Which you DO remember.
    You can't tell John anything because she's a figurative bitch and won't listen to you. Which you DO know.

    You cancel action: do nothing, interrupted by Mommy and grandparents maneuvering towards you with a crate.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:48 No.3749764
    YAY. Does it have an AXE inside?
    Or or no wait.
    >> Eldrad, Actually The Demons !!srlFJqQzH9+ 02/18/09(Wed)11:50 No.3749769


    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:52 No.3749783
    But what if they're diamond encrusted dildon'ts instead?
    Open the box! Discover its secrets!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:52 No.3749786

    Take crate, Throw at John.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:53 No.3749789
    I see London, I see France.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)11:53 No.3749791
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)11:59 No.3749822
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    "We were supposed to mail this to you a month ago, but there was some... err, technical difficulties. But here it is now!"
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:02 No.3749837
    Ask about technical difficulties!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:02 No.3749841
    ask for a refund!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:02 No.3749842
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:05 No.3749854
    Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read note Read no...ooopen crate.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:07 No.3749865
    > Get flask.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:07 No.3749873
    It's probably a key piece to the satanic ritual they'll make you participate in.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:08 No.3749889
    appriciate the gift!
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)12:12 No.3749911
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    >>Ask about technical difficulties!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:12 No.3749915
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:14 No.3749924
    Open the goddamn box already.

    What the hell kind of person gets a gift and does not immediately tear into it?
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)12:20 No.3749953
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    >>Open the goddamn box
    "Let's go inside first."
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:21 No.3749957
    Oh no you don't! Open the box, here and now!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:21 No.3749960

    Hey, grandma and grandpa spent weeks fucking like rabbits. Give us a chance to take it all in.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:22 No.3749963
    Set a good example for John.
    THANK them for their gift.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:24 No.3749973
    no! its a tarp
    >> Eldrad, Actually The Demons !!srlFJqQzH9+ 02/18/09(Wed)12:25 No.3749976

    Oh god.



    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:35 No.3750031
    Fucking fine. Help carry the box in then OPPAN.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:36 No.3750035
    God fucking damn it.
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)12:37 No.3750043
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    You enter the house after everyone else, quite certain that a great feast will ensue, sooner or later.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:37 No.3750044
    Thank them. Carry it inside. Open the box.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:37 No.3750045
    Open box, recieve BEARS
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:39 No.3750053

    yay! Pantsu!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:41 No.3750072

    Sit and wait on the living room couch like a good girl
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:42 No.3750082
    kill sergals. All of them.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:43 No.3750086
    John's just upset that she's no longer relevant.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:47 No.3750115
    SDF, /tg/ is kinda shit today, be warned that you'll have to sifle through a LOT of bad suggestions.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:48 No.3750125
    >Get ye flask.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:50 No.3750139
    lock the door behind you.
    Everyone that deserves the feast's inside.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:51 No.3750143
    Now that's just mean. John is our friend, even if she is a bitchy-bitch-bitch-bitch today.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:56 No.3750168

    Tell John to stop being a bitch
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)12:59 No.3750191
    John probably doesn't like the smell of Dorf. I mean they do carry a heavy smell of alcohol
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:03 No.3750219
    kill john
    With a cheese grater
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)13:05 No.3750228
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    You close the door and enter yon livingroom. There you find the crate with your name on it and open it.

    You observe the contents.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:05 No.3750229
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    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:06 No.3750233

    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:06 No.3750236

    Great, half the crap we can't even pick up.

    Check the book.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:10 No.3750261
    I have been asked to pass along the following message:

    "Sorry SDF, /tg/ is shit today, help might or might not be coming soon based on if my friend can get free.  Just hang in there and wade through the terrible suggestions."
    >> подметно 02/18/09(Wed)13:11 No.3750269
    Act excited, but explain that you have -10 str, and require MUSCLES BEATEN INTO YOUR SCRAWNY FRAME
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)13:20 No.3750317
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    >>Examine BOOK, open SEALED LETTER
    The book seems old and covered in leather - yet not quite exactly like leather. There title is embossed, but somewhat obscured.
    The envelope contains more lollars than would be polite to count at this time.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:20 No.3750318
    Examine contents in detail
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:21 No.3750320
    I think it's time to check up on my earlier suggestion from a few threads ago.

    Figure out if you need Alcohol to function properly. Ask Grandma if you have to.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:22 No.3750328
    Go get the mug we found in the Dead Dorf's mouth, see if it matches or has any striking simularities or whatnot. If not, just show it to Grandpa and Grandma.

    We left it in our Engie Pants, which should be on the bathroom floor.

    Ignore John because she's being a bitch.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:23 No.3750337
    Hug book.
    Read John.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:24 No.3750342

    wait, when did Joan put her panties back on?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:26 No.3750348
    After John wasn't thrilled with having them on her nose she took them back.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:27 No.3750350
    [x]write name in inside cover to claim ownership of book.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:31 No.3750376
    Check out the rest of what's in the box.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:32 No.3750379
    Which is heavier, sword or axe?

    We must ARM JOAN.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:36 No.3750399
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:37 No.3750406
    Probably bad idea. defacing creepy skin-bound volumes normally doesn't go very well
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:39 No.3750417
    forgot the rest of my post
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:40 No.3750427
    bad idea's are good ideas in adventure games.

    they make more adventure.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:41 No.3750430
    Also bad idea. we should probably ask grandma and grandpa about these gifts
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:41 No.3750434
    if by adventure you mean unkillable monstrosities from the world of darkness seeking revenge, then yeah
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)13:42 No.3750443
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    >>Ask Grandma if you have to alcohol for function.
    "Beats me!"
    Headcrabbeddorf-mug has an engraving of a headcrabbeddorf engraving a mug. Your mug has an engraving of a dragon and five dorfs. The dragon is crying. The dorfs are laughing.
    >>show mug
    Both grandma and grandpa agree that headcrabbeddorfmug is POOR CRAFTSDORFSHIP. Your mug is engraved by a legendary engraver and you can see all the details and things and such.

    >>ignore John
    You "ignored" the door in John's face. Your DO remember this.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:45 No.3750460
    Joan is getting quite adamant about what she remembers.

    In any case, she needs to drink some of that, so we can see if she is Dorfy in any way. At all.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:45 No.3750461
    Drink that beer. All of it. In one go.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:46 No.3750465
    we really should at least open the door for her. that way, when she decides to stop being a bitch, she can come join the party
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:46 No.3750469
    No, John's a bitch, she needs to be punished for it.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:47 No.3750473

    A confused girl with a big rack and tight clothes holding a mug of ale big enough to swim it. This will end well.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:48 No.3750479
    Drink the beer!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:48 No.3750480
    yeah, but we don't want to permanently alienate her either
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:48 No.3750481
    critical drinking failure imminent.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:50 No.3750486
    Agreed. Leave the door open for her for when she decides to stop being a bitch.

    And, maybe we'll forgive her while we're drunk who knows?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:50 No.3750490

    Open door, ask John for an apology. Then drink ale along with John!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:51 No.3750501

    Drink it. What's the worst that can happen?
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)13:52 No.3750502
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    >>All of it.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:52 No.3750504
    No, don't ask for an apology. If anything, say something like "Are you ready to stop being a bitch and join the party, hun?"

    Be sure to include the "hun" part.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:52 No.3750505
    What does alcohol do to sergals?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:54 No.3750515
    drunk joan imminent!

    Maybe it's best John is in the other room, if alcohol gives us super strength hugging John might kill her.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:55 No.3750521
    definitely, but be affectionate, not sarcastic
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:56 No.3750526
    What kind of question is that? Same thing as everything else, gets them drunk.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)13:59 No.3750539
    that is a good pull for an adventure. and you gotta kill off joan at some point.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:00 No.3750547
    Why on earth would you consider that?

    It'd be like trying to kill Ruby in Rubyquest. She dies, adventure ends.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:00 No.3750551
    why? she could always ride away into the sunset....
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:03 No.3750566
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)14:04 No.3750569
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    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:04 No.3750573
    I don't want Joanquest to ever end ;__________;

    Being an entirely useless very attractive girl that nobody listens to is entirely frightening and awesome at times. Well, except John, who listens half the time and mucks about the other half. Listening to Joan at all is why they're friends, I think...
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:05 No.3750582
    so, how do we feel? Strong? Brave? Dorfy?
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)14:06 No.3750584

    What is she looking at? Is it her Grandma?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:06 No.3750587
    What? What's she looking at?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:06 No.3750590

    The walls are melting!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:08 No.3750599
    We're drunk and now see John as a puppy dog or perhaps a cat just like everyone else.
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)14:08 No.3750605
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    >>how do we feel?
    You feel like...

    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:08 No.3750606
    She's still standing, she needs another one.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:09 No.3750611
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)14:09 No.3750613

    Drink more, enjoy! Ask for more!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:10 No.3750618
    Dorf Powers Activate!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:10 No.3750628

    perhaps now would be a good time to make sure our clothing is fastened down. No need for the top and panties to go flying today! (not yet at least)
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)14:11 No.3750631

    Also, attempt to activate DORF POWERS while drinking seconds!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:11 No.3750633
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:11 No.3750635
    I'll be dissapointed if this doesn't end in a three-generation lesbian orgy, with John as a bonus.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:12 No.3750642
    this can only end in projectile vomit.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:13 No.3750651
    Incest, lesbianism AND bestiality? Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:14 No.3750662
    >this can only end in a contest of projectile vomit.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:15 No.3750667
    Call out "John! Come join the party and have some beer!"
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:17 No.3750688
    John's sapient, not sure what you'd call it but it'd be like fucking an alien. Xenophilic?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:18 No.3750692
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    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:18 No.3750697
    hawt furry luvvins
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)14:19 No.3750700
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    Your clothes are functioning normally.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:19 No.3750706
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:21 No.3750712
    Stop drinking!

    Examine self! Are breasts smaller than before?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:21 No.3750714
    So Joan is "That Girl" that every high-school beer party has.

    The one that downs a 750 of Bombay dry Gin and pukes on your dick.
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)14:22 No.3750717

    Wait, is the beer shrinking our ENORMOUSLY HUGE bust?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:25 No.3750727

    No more tit nuzzles for John? I feel sad.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:25 No.3750733

    i don't think so, our shirt seems confining... >>3749586

    wait no! bad thoughts! those puppies need to stay put! also, MORE PLEASE WOOT! :3c
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:25 No.3750734
    that's...fairly ominous...
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:26 No.3750736
    ITT: SDF Gets an unintended art lesson in consistency by way-too-observant anons.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:26 No.3750738
    Remove CLOTHES.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:28 No.3750748
    keep drinking until they arent.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:28 No.3750749
    Not that, the text:

    "Clothes are functioning normally"

    Before they were too tight. Remember?
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)14:28 No.3750753
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    Your boobs are just fine and have not changed size.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:29 No.3750755

    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)14:30 No.3750758

    See what Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa are doing...
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:30 No.3750763
    Remove CLOTHES. Look SELF.
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)14:31 No.3750768
    It's not a lesson if I don't learn anything, and this tablet is small so I can't draw "properly", causing huge variations that I could atleast improve upon with 1) traditional media or 2) a far bigger tablet.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:31 No.3750769
    Call for John to join the party and have some beer.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:32 No.3750774
    In before boob grab.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:33 No.3750784
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:35 No.3750800
    We've already had 2 mugs of beer roughly the size of our heads. Either this stuff is 1% and our stomach just hurts, or its time to get crazy/passout.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:36 No.3750809
    Let's try a 'non-suck' Test.

    Do a handstand.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:37 No.3750817
    Might prove that Joan's dorf heritage only is in her stomach
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:38 No.3750818
    She's still good, have another beer.
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)14:45 No.3750867
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    >>See what Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa are doing
    They are apparently drinking.

    Which obviously is entirely surprising.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:45 No.3750872
    Inspect items remaining in crate.
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)14:46 No.3750881

    Ask everyone, when we're going to eat next!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:47 No.3750885

    Granny is doin it right.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:50 No.3750901
    Sing some drinking songs with Mom, Granny, and Grandad!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:54 No.3750930
    Drink some more. Till her clothes come off.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:55 No.3750941
    Read BOOK aloud, and in a commanding voice.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:57 No.3750950
    What the fuck is this shit?
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)14:58 No.3750958
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    >>Inspect items remaining in crate.

    >>3750228 is a picture of the crate.

    You have removed from the crate the book, the mug and the envelope.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:59 No.3750975
    try and take out the sword
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:59 No.3750976
    put on the SWORD
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)14:59 No.3750977
    Ignore CRATE ITEMS. Inspect SHIRT ITEMS.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:00 No.3750985
    So from what I can understand so far, Joan is some sort of sluttishly-dressed Eldar ranger with a pet sergal, largeish boobs and OCD?
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)15:01 No.3750992

    Ask Grandparents, who's skull is in the crate.

    After attempting to weild the sword of course.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:05 No.3751018
    That skull has Gems in it. Holy crap its Acererak!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:05 No.3751023

    Remove SHIRT.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:06 No.3751027
    >So from what I can understand so far, Joan is some sort of sluttishly-dressed Eldar ranger with a pet sergal, largeish boobs and OCD?
    >Delicious Alcohol
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:11 No.3751061

    I was having the most shit-tastic day ever and I find a Joan thread on /tg/. Thanks, SDF!
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)15:17 No.3751115
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    You don't have any items in your shirt. Except a pen that is invisible when you don't need it because the drawfag was and is too fag to remember to draw it.

    The sword is heavy. Your arms are shaking from the strain of holding the sword up.

    The skull is made of something with a very light silver color and has diamond in each eyesocket.
    The skull is now yours.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:19 No.3751141
    Woah this is an improvement! she's stronger now!

    Usually stuff like this is far too heavy
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:19 No.3751142
    Most swords >10 pounds. Her arms wouldn't shake unless she had been swinging it for the past couple minutes.
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)15:21 No.3751148

    Ask Granma and Grandad what they thought you'd need a sword for...

    Also, ask what the gifts were for, why they gave them to you...
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:21 No.3751152
    Give skull to John. Maybe she won't lose this one.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:22 No.3751157
    Investigate axe, jewelry and any other items
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:22 No.3751162
    Anon was here
    John is a fag
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:22 No.3751163
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:23 No.3751165
    She's a weak failure of a girly-girl. Give her some slack.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:23 No.3751170
    Joan has -10 strength. Going by d20 rules and assuming a base Strength score of 11, this means that her maximum carrying capacity is 10 pounds. And that's if everything is like in a backpack or something.

    ...since we're not really going by those rules, that doesn't matter, but she'd still lose an armwrestling match with your average kitten.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:24 No.3751181
    Engage in vigorous STRENGTH TRAINING until such a time your STRENGTH score increases to levels suitable for the BARBARIAN character class.
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)15:25 No.3751187

    Really? I faintly remember SDF saying Joan was downgraded to -30 Str at one point...
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:26 No.3751201
    I assumed that was exaggeration in order to shut up whoever was annoying him at the time.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:26 No.3751203
    Yeah, but in D20 rules a kitten can kill an elf commoner, so they're not a fair measuring stick for character effectiveness.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:27 No.3751204
    I think she has a part god-dorf template that should give +40 Str or so
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:30 No.3751227
    that would be nice, but i still think -10 is canon
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)15:36 No.3751269
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    >>Ask Granma and Grandad what they thought you'd need a sword for...
    "Doesn't everyone?"
    >>Also, ask what the gifts were for, why they gave them to you...
    "You're a big girl now! It only happens once in your life, of course that calls for celebration!"
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:36 No.3751274

    Thanks grandparents for awesome gifts.
    Hugs all 'round.

    Ask about book.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:37 No.3751280
    THANK for gifts.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:37 No.3751281
    See what gramma thinks if you poke her back.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:37 No.3751283
    So this is our what, 16th, 18th or 21st birthday? Or are we using dorf ages and we're 40?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:40 No.3751318
    Give thanks and hugs, lest we be shamed by not appreciating our grandparents
    >> Eldrad, Actually The Demons !!srlFJqQzH9+ 02/18/09(Wed)15:42 No.3751345
    rolled 16 = 16


    I'd like to second this option?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:48 No.3751397
    Good question, how old is she?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:50 No.3751414
    Grow beard.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)15:50 No.3751418
    Ask grandma how old we are.
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)15:59 No.3751494
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    >>thanks and hugs

    It is a mistery. Possibly anything between 10 and 20.
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)16:00 No.3751505

    Our feelings for John have suddenly turned from angry at bitch, to worried about friend. Go check up on her!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:04 No.3751543
    Wait, does this mean Joan is menstruating?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:04 No.3751544
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:06 No.3751557
    This. She's been out there by herself too long
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:06 No.3751564

    Use group hug as example of how wonderful things are when everyone plays nice.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:07 No.3751581

    Segals like blood, right?

    Blood for the blood god!
    >> 02/18/09(Wed)16:10 No.3751602
    Shouldn't we try asking our grandparents why we are as weak as a kitten.. and how we can fix it?
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:13 No.3751636
    Indeed! Although the Greyskull might be the answer to that...
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:14 No.3751642
    We're on autosage. Just sayin'.
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)16:16 No.3751661
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    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:17 No.3751669

    Offer John drink.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:17 No.3751671
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:20 No.3751699
    Daww, john is still upset, invite her in!
    >> Luz-chan !!UTvTrPNzeyL 02/18/09(Wed)16:21 No.3751712

    Start a new thread, and start off asking John if she'll stop being bitchy, and come in and drink and party with you!
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:21 No.3751719
    Knowing Joan Quest, it will be a hat, not a girdle.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:22 No.3751723
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    Been doodling while I furiously F5 and since it's on topic, I guess I could share.

    Also, I second offering John a drink.
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:24 No.3751752
    Apologize for being mean but FUCKING HELL IT LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE GOING TO DIE
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:26 No.3751777
    Good point, but the girl really could use a girdle.

    Just sayin
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:30 No.3751824
    We have a consensus!
    >> Sir Double-Faggot !!8AFJ0v9DBJj 02/18/09(Wed)16:35 No.3751877
    Continued in >>3751871
    >> Anonymous 02/18/09(Wed)16:53 No.3752100
    drink another beer

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