Joan and John cancel enjoying the bath: Interrupted by Mommy!
FUCK YEARWHAT DOES MOMMY HAVE TO SAY?
How about no.
>>3690865To be continued apparently.
>>FUCK YEARYou cannot do that.>>WHAT DOES MOMMY HAVE TO SAY?"Your grandparents just called! They're coming over in a few hours!"
Fuck! Gramps! He always touched you when you were a kid.. Time to put on some clothes. Wait, where are our clothes?
"MOM GET OUT I'M PISS"
>>3690931FIRST PRIORITY: FIND CLOTHESSECOND PRIORITY: EAT FOODTHIRD PRIORITY: FIND WEAPONS TO FIGHT GRAMPS
>>3690923Oh, ok. Can we have some privacy? We were in a middle of an epic submarine battle.
I only ever look at this because I like how the person draws people.
"Well, your room doesn't need much cleaning so you can take your time with your bath. It'll be atleast three hours before they get here."
>>3690937A viking and a dwarf. There is no hope. Enjoy the bath, pray for mercy.>>3690947...if you know what i mean.
>>3690956Find clothes. Eat food. Fight gramps.
>>3690956Which granparents are coming? Our mom's or our dead dad's?
>>3690967DORF AND BARBARIAN.
Clearly, you and Joan must consummate your relationship. Then you must clean your room and search it for weapons. Then you must drink beer and fight DWARF BARBARIAN COUPLE
>>3690956Wait, it's not under heaps of garbage, isn't it?
>>Which granparents are coming?"The ones that didn't die from old age like weaklings!"
>>3691004Wow. Progression.Choo choo!
JOAN, JOAN, WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE BAD END KAORI?
>>3691004Hide John in bedroom.Greet grandparents. They haven't done anything to us, it's just John that's COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY HORRIFIED of grandma
>>3691020Because you touch yourself at night.
>>3690996>DWARF BARBARIAN COUPLEOkay. Here.
>>3691015Ask if we have anything to wear in our home.
>>3691036Whoa. I heard the sizzle from that ice-burn.
>>3691020Because she's about to meet Grandpa Super-Psychic from the Doomed Future, that's why.
Enjoy bath, get dressed (HATS), eat food
>>3691004>"The ones that didn't die from old age like weaklings!"Why is Joan's mom so awesome?Also, suggestion: Kill John, wear his flayed skin as clothing.
>>3691036HOW DID YOU KNOW?
>>3691075Let mom take care of that. John would make an awesome hat.
>>Ask if we have anything to wear in our home.You're at home, you have all your own clothes here! The sizes may, however, be obsolete.>>HOW DID YOU KNOW?Because you've obviously gone blind. DIFFERENT HAIR COLOR = ORIGINAL CHARACTER. DO NOT STEAL. Duh.John is apparently quite intent on enjoying the bath further.
hey look, its that fetish vore creature which is used by many a furfag for fap materialSAGE
>>3691146People like you are why drawfags leave.
>>3691136Enjoy bath further.
>>3691146Agree'dYou have my sage, anon!
>>3691158Only if it's a cheetah.
>>3691146Hey look, it's that same Anonymous who likes to think he's a troll trolling trolls, while he's actually a troll getting trolled by trolls that troll trolls, and doesn't know that sage is not a thread-voting mechanism!PROMOTIONS!
>>3691146Sage does not work that way
>>3691164If you don't like it just hide it. We're trying to have fun here.>>3691136Torpedoes away. Pew! Pew!
>>3691170>PROMOTIONS!/r/-ing John, or mom doing the PROMOTIONS! pose, if it hasn't been done already.
>>3691170Don't waste precious drawing time and ignore these faggots Mr. Sir Double-Faggot, sir.
>>3691155To be honest man, how many of those drawfags were actually good ?
>>3691170You know, "Double-Faggot" is about the right name for you, you smug furry faggot.
>>3691136Fine. Enjoy the bath further. Fuck eachothers brains' out. That's all you niggers want to do.I'm done with this shit. Thread hidden.
>>3691197Three.And two of them still post, so it's not like people complaining about furry shit has led to an exodus of talent.
>>3691197Well, it was annoying when the good ones left.
>>3691197Step 1: You sageStep 2: You leave and hide the threadStep 3: You mind your own businessYou aren't supposed to sage and then stick around and have an argument.
for fucks sakes /tg/if you dont like this thread hide it and fuck offif you do, post in it.i dont see, at all, why there has to be an argument.
>>3691136Leave bath, locate our room, find clothes that semi-fit, wear clothes.
>>Don't waste precious drawing time and ignore these faggotsWhere's the fun in that?>>Enjoy bath further.John doesn't seem to get the whole concept of washing your hair.>>Torpedoes away. Pew! Pew!You are not carrying any torpedoes and torpedoes do not make that sound.
>>3691291Leave bath, locate our room, find clothes that semi-fit, wear clothes.
SDF, Joan is a fun quest thread and you should feel fun.Don't listen to jerks.That said, I say to continue enjoying bath for the moment. There's time later to go get dressed.
>>3691219>>3691217Then there is a major difference in opinion.
>>3691291Wrestle with John in a friendly, non-sexual, naked way. That is how one enjoys a bath with more than one person.
>>3691291Hmmm, maybe we need to tell John no means no?But generally, chillax.
>>3691314>Wrestle with John in a friendly, non-sexual, naked way. That is how one enjoys a bath with more than one person.John, give Joan a noogie!
>>3691353>John, give Joan a nookie.Fix'd
>>3691362>Joan, give John your 'cookie'.Fix'd again.
>>3691353Noogies weren't friendly in my school.
>>3691353Do it! Then get out of bath, dry self. Then stick John into a dryer or leave her be and get some clothes.
ENJOY THE BATHASK JOHN TO HELP YOU MASTURBATE/tg/ WILL LOVE IT
>>3691291Wash John's hair...er, fur...to show her how to do it properly.
>>3691381first, locate the bar of soap undoubtedly hidden under the water. John's probably unwittingly sitting on it.
There seems to be a decisive division of opinions, whereas side 1 wants to leave the bath and side 2 wants to stay in the bath. Because both partiest insist on their line and as democracy is for pussies, the highest roll (1d20) gets to call it.This post is not accompanied by a picture because "not leaving the bath" is not a particularly specific and interesting action.
And this is why everyone thinks that /tg/ is a closet furry.
rolled 10 = 10>>3691394Out of bath.
>>3691403CLOSET? Hell, everyone thinks /tg/ is an OUT furry.
rolled 5 = 5>>3691394Leave bath, locate our room, find clothes that semi-fit, wear clothes.
rolled 1 = 1>>3691394In bath though i don't swing that way.
rolled 14 = 14>>3691394Roll for noogie!
rolled 12 = 12STAY IN BATH!
>>3691426>>3691431Nooggie+stay in bath wins!
rolled 17 = 17>>3691394Innocent bath!
Are we gonna continue until someone gets a 20 or what?
rolled 17 = 17KISS
>>3691448SDF is probably drawing now.He's not instant with drawfaggotry. (d'awwfaggotry?)
rolled 7 = 7Bathtime's over. Find some clothes you can jerry-rig to fit.
rolled 20 = 20>>3691394dance number
rolled 3 = 3Stay in bath, pretend that you are the captains of a ship!
rolled 14 = 14>>3691443Seconded>>3691448Or while SDF draws. Seems likely that someone'll get a 20 before then, though.
>>3691461We have a winner!
>>3691461CRITICAL DANCE FAILURE seems imminent.
>>3691473You mean critical dance success and subsequent unexplainable pregnancy? Yes.
>>3691461She is going to drown, isn't she?
>>3691486>critical dance successYay!>unexplainable pregnancyUhhhhh...
>>rolled 20 = 20>>dance numberAs you took your time coming up with something fun to do in a bath (which you obviously failed, because dancing in a bath is stupid because it's cold above the water and there is not enough room for dancing under the water), John beats you to it and comes up with a new and exiting bathtime game.
>>3691495I really hope that's alluding to what I think it is.
>>3691495No, that isn't double-entendre-evoking at ALL.
>>3691495what is that i dont even
>>3691291Are they fucking?Can they fuck?
>>3691498I really hope it isn't.
>>3691492It is the mystery of the dance.
>>3691498Pro tip: it's not.
>>3691495a... "submarine" and a "hole."
>>3691495Oh no, it's the Total Request Live submarine! A horde of MTV idiots are invading!
One of you faggots must have saved every other thread. Would you koindly repost?
>>3691495"TRL U"oh you
>>3691495This can't possibly end poorly.
>>3691514>Oh no, it's the Total Request Live submarine! A horde of MTV idiots are invading Joan's vagina!fixed
>>3691495CALM DOWN GUYSIt's just SDF fucking with our minds.
>>3691517they're on suptg.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Joan
>>3691495Where's my sex scene?BESTIALITY!
>>3691525We know.We're fucking backHa-ha!Fucking
rolled 42402 = 42402RAPE EVERYTHING
>>3691529Awesome, anon delivers. Thanks.
call in momwincest
>>3691563Command fails due to dicefail.
rolled 1 = 1Am I doing it right?
>>3691495YIFF YIFF YIFF YIFF YIFF YIFF YIFF
>>3691584You rolled a 1...with a d0.EFG? Is that you?
You RELUCTANTLY admit the merit in John's game.
>>3691593Is it in the pooper?
rolled = Mysteriously get pregnant. John should have used protection.
>>3691593...Is John making an :awesome: face?
>>3691593I can't tell if SDF has gone furry or just wants to troll the sagefags.Regardless, John's awesome-face is priceless.
>>3691602Lol look hes so awesome. He saged the mother fucking thread and said 'furfail' Holy fuck thats the best thing I've ever seen!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL How did you get to be so awesome1?
rolled = BRACE FOR IMPACT
>>3691593Oh dear... is he tickling her?
>>3691606I thought John was female. Hasn't everyone been referring to it with feminine pronouns?
>>3691621Who knows? Apparently we're watching SDF Left to the Imagination Theater.If you're thinking anything naughty, you're now furry.
Seriously, just draw some Joan super porn to get the sex retards to go jack off. Then the rest of us can enjoy a thread that isn't 200 posts of LET HIM TOUCH YOUR BOOBS.
rolled 19 = 19>>3691593Sudden cramp! Run for the towel.>>3691626That doesn't seem to stop her.
>>3691638This is 4chan. If something involves boobs, there will be calls for touching them no matter what.
>>3691626Maybe John has a kolbold clit
/tg/'s instinct is to slut it up/tg/ you would make horrible girls
>>3691667You'd still fuck us.
>>3691667>/tg/ you would make horrible girlsOr the sluttiest girls every. Which would make us the best ones because then we would totally sleep with our-selves so we could finally get laid
>>3691689Oh, then we'd be fat girls.
>>3691689I don't think getting laid works that way.
>>3691689MY OWN CLONE!
>>3691689My own. . .wait, what?
You know, I have no problem with Joan porn (I'm visiting from a furry porn board, after all) but I think that sort of thing should be kept out of the game proper. It's enough fun without gratuitous sex.And judging from the position I get the feeling she's fingering her.
>>3691698Thats fine. Because fat girls are easy and you can mentally abuse them and they'll still slobber all over your knob
rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 20Has everyone stopped suggesting things now?Get out of the bath, towel down and go find some clothes to fail with.
>>3691593Joan looks like she's about to go berserk.Whether with rage or lust is basically irrelevant.
Eventually, somewhere around T-2h (based on the three-hour theory), you exit the bath. Because as much as bathtime shenanigans may amuse and entertain everyone involved, including the trolls, you must move on.
>>3691752If submarine was there, then WHO WAS HOLE?
>>3691752Is Joan doing John's hair?D'awwwwwww
>>3691764It is a mistery
>>3691752To the bedroom! Cleaning must be done!
>>3691803Concurrence. Also dressing.
Find the wardrobe!Raid the wardrobe!Tie a pretty bow on John!
>>3691752Oh fuck, I just noticed the submarine. I can't stop laughing.
>>3691812>Raid the wardrobe!Don't get stuck in some mystical fantasy land while raiding the wardrobe, please.
fap fap fap fap fap fap more hardcore stuff
>>3691891I hope you mean Hardcore like Joan's Mom Murdering Zombies hardcore.
needs more rape more porn this isn't the joan i followed from post one
>>3691908Screw you. Rape = creepy fail. Lesbian tub action = win.
this is pathetic. I picked up the advetures of Joan because it was some actual QUALITY that /tg/ put out now its just pathetic pandering to anyone who yells loud enough. you sicken me.
>>3691922you're painfully obviously a newfag. rape has always been a cornerstone of /tg/ and part of Joan's popularity was the rape.
>>3691928You mean like when /tg/ said to headbutt a sergal and we got raped? Or when /tg/ said to stick a fishhook through Joan's face?
>>3691922>Screw me. Rape = creepy win. Lesbian tub action = fail.fixed
>>3691928>pathetic pandering to anyone who yells loud enough.THE SAME CAN BE SAID OF ALL /tg/ QUESTS!
>>3691928>I am enraged. u didnt used to pander when u were doing quality like box hats and robutts. u sicken me. tihs thread kileld my mother.
Is it that unusual that I don't dig on chicks getting surprised-sexed?
I think have to agree that John is getting far too much attention. It's counter productive. Let's get on with the adventure already.
rolled 5 = 5>>3691752Find some clothes or something, I don't know
>>3691967That's fine as long as you appreciate anticipated rape.
Get dressed.Convince John not to run away or attack grandparents.Think of a way to placate possibly angry dwarf grandmother.
>>3691956Its either that or wait for the "right answer" i.e. railroadan gaems.
You RAID the WARDROBE. You observe a selection of clothing and after some screening for fitting clothes you find the following:1 X-COM T-shirt1 plain T-shirt4 pairs of striped underpants1 pair of black thight-high socks1 denim skirt1 plaid skirt1 HAZMAT suit1 pair of red boxing gloves1 deactivated 82mm mortar shell1 pair of black sandals1 of the above is not a clothing item.1 John is mucking about as per SOP.
>>3692041GET OUT THE WAY BITCH GET OUT THE WAY
>>3692041X-COM t-shirt.Mortar shell as a new HAT.Magically generate plain trousers.Underwear? That's just creepy, SDF.
>>3692041Put on the following:1 X-COM T-shirt1 pair of striped underpants1 pair of black thight-high socks1 plaid skirt
>>3692041Wear Hazmat suit. Give John boxing gloves, if she refuses wear them. Use all the other stuff to make cape and hat.
Joan should probably hide John somewhere.
get rid of that fucking sergal so you don't have an excuse for not showing delicious P&A
>>3692041>1 deactivated 82mm mortar shellWow. Joan must like 'em big.I'd suggest panties, X-COM shirt, socks, denim skirt.John can wear the boxing gloves.
Wear X-Com shirt, underpants, plaid skirt, socks, and sandals. Dress John in HAZMAT suit. If asked, claim that the puppy is playing dressup. Make it clear to John that the grandparents will FUCKING KILL HER if she allows herself to be seen without the HAZMAT suit.
>>3692041X-comStriped UnderpantsDenim skirt.Long socks
>>3692049Blockatiel is pleased!
>>3692041Hazmat suit and boxing gloves. We'll be prepared when the grandparents get here.
...Why is no one interested in the MORTAR SHELL?!
>>3692041Give John the hazmat suit.
>>3692095>>3692082>>3692062this, minus panties
X-com shirtStriped pantiesDenimLong socksDo we have shoes or will be uncool and wearing sandals with socks?>>3692130John is a sergal. It wouldn't even fit her.
>>3692123What does Joan need the MORTAR SHELL for when she has John?
>>3692162It would. Hazmat suits aren't skin tight.Don't ask how I know this.I just do.
>>Magically generate plain trousers.CRITICAL MAGICAL PLAIN TROUSER GENERATION FAILURE. It is also incidentally my new band!You put on your CLOTHING and offer John the boxing gloves. John is decidedly uninterested in the boxing gloves.
Nothing. Getting dressed is for faggots. More porn.
>>3692175I have to ask. You have a fuzzy snout, a long tail, and digitgrade feet, you put on a hazmat suit?
>>3692192Oh yeah, and...>>Mortar shell as a new HAT.Critical hat failure.
>>3692192MORTAR SHELL HAT!
Suck off John
>>3692192HARRUMPH!Show John what fun the boxing gloves are by wearing them and generally being happy.
Punch John the fuck out, thereby triggering his rape reaction
Our clothes actually fit?
>>3692212Dress John in underpants, skirt, remains of mortar shell, and HAZ-MAT suit, or any of the above that fit.
Use boxing gloves to show John who will do the raping from now on
>>3692192That's hot. Clothing suits Joan.
>>3692250The only thing that suits Joan and therefore should be her suit is being raped.
>>3692192She has good zettai ryouki
>>3692192Wear boxing gloves.
Rape John with mortal shell, thereby establishing Joan's position as the alpha.
Hide mortar shell up vagina
"Why don't you clean your room before grabbing a bite? It'll only take you a few minutes and then you can take your time eating."
Hide John inside vagina, cover hole with mortar shell
Goddamn you dumb cunt are you going to do what the fans want or what you stupid shithead
>>3692299WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM, MOM?!Also, Clean room.
What does mom think of Joan's SLUTTY ATTIRE, especially considering I believe we were younger when we were last home?
>>3692313Stop posting shit.
>>3692299Inspect room for useful items while cleaning. Take inventory.
>>3692336It's slutty BECAUSE she was younger so it's smaller now. It could've been perfectly reasonable then.Except the socks.
>>3692299Suggest our mother wear some of our old clothes too! We'd look like sisters! Sexy... slutty wearing... sisters...
>>3692299SHE'S AWFULLY INSISTENT ON CLEANING ROOMCLEAN ROOMPUT STUFF ON FLOOR IN CLOSET
mmm delicious autosage.
Has Joan or John's true sexual orientation been determined? Joan's been under duress the whole time and seems inexperienced, John could either be lesiban or a bi who just happens to eat men.
>>Inspect room for useful items while cleaning. Take inventory.You are not carrying anything. There is nothing especially useful you can see at first glance in your room.You quickly finish removing dust from your room, as it is otherwise in perfect condition.
>>3692553Where'd our gun and knife go?
>>3692553Check out shelves and desk drawers.Those Dorf, Tom, and Ruby figures are awesome.
>>3692553D'aw at Ruby/dorfquest figures :3
>>3692582Seconded.All quests are totally in the same universe, just at different times.
>>3692553Attempt to use Ruby, Tom, and Beardbeard figures to summon the people they represent by splashing some of our blood on them and chanting satanicly.
>>3692553Check those books.
rolled 9 = 9>>3692553Take a look out the window.Also, what's that on mom's face?
>>3692610Negative! Don't say that. Joan has a way of letting /tg/ convince her to bleed.
>>3692610You want to bring Beardbeard into this? That sounds like a horrible idea.
take the ruby bobblehead for +1 agilitytake the tom bobblehead for +1 strengthtake the dwarf bobblehead for +1 charisma
>>3692659>Dwarf>+1 CharismaAre we reading the same Dorf Quest? He has no charisma to speak of!
>>3692683Maybe it's ironic.
No Ranger figure? ;_;Was it forgotten that easily?
>>Where'd our gun and knife go?They are within the confines of your engypants, which you have left somewhere.>>Check out shelves and desk drawers.You begin your room-exploration with the nightstand. You find the drawers to be sparsely occupied, but there is a concrete aura of quality over quantity.
>>3692721It only had 3 threads. So, yes.
>>3692725OH YOU CLEVER GIRL
>>3692725inspect box in nightstand
Read 'Sei So Tsui Dan Sha' on the bottom shelf.Fap FURIOUSLY.
>>3692725Awfully. . .mature?THINGS AREN'T RIGHT! JOAN WAS YOUNG AND UNDEVELOPED BEFORE! RED ALERT RED ALERT! MOM IS TOO ANXIOUS! SOMETHING IS UP! HUG JOHN FOR SUPPORT!
>>3692737I, eh. Sort of forgot the plot. :vIf the threads are of good quality one day, I'll probably continue it. I MUST BE REMEMBERED.>>3692725Grab the batteries from the massage-tool. See if money is hidden in the pages of the magazine. THOROUGH SEARCHING is required. The condoms are clearly of edible material, as how sensible Joan is. EAT FOR NOURISHMENT. Breakfast must be stalled, for it is clearly a trap!
>>3692760Condoms? Those are kleenexes.Show John how to pull a tissue from the kleenex box.Let John play with it for a while and make a mess before Mom makes you clean your room.
>>3692725Something doesn't add up. Sex toy, tissues, and porn in a little girl's nightstand? At least John can keep occupied.
>>3692725Waitaminute I RECOGNIZE THAT RADIO!THAT'S FROM BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER!SEE IF IT TALKS AND DOES VAUDVILLE!
>>3692784THAT'S A CLOCK RETARD
Is that cylindrical thing a tampon applicator or a vibrator?
>>3692725I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE! Explain situation to John-ie, before and after growth, how John technically is going after loli in a mature body, and how it's strange to clean a perfectly spotless room. Then go spy on mom.
>spy on momActually a good idea.Still I vote for schlicking furiously.
>>3692797Explain then that she's totally fine with being the object of John's attentions.In fact she might like it a little.
>>3692791FUCK YOU I KNOW THAT SHAPE. IT WAS A COMBINED CLOCK/RADIO IN THE GOD DAMN MOVIE ANYWAY.QUESTION IT.
>>3692757Joan wasn't THAT mature in the beginning. But then in a matter of seconds we grew huge boobs. We don't know why, but SDF claims there is an actual reason behind it. Joan is a perverted little girl.
>>3692819It's a dwarven defensive mechanism against pedos!
>>3692804If we do that John is going to help, and we just got done with a two hour bathtime session of pleasure and happyness.Spying on mom is a good idea, though really, we should watch out for the grandparents.Ask John how she feels about meeting dorf grandparents and then look for that notebook and sharpie we were going to get her at the store.Or dry erase board or whatever.
Get John to draw furry porn. Sell over the internet to furfags. ???. Profit.
>>3692866Furries only want gay wolf porn, John is more interested in drawing Joan's titties, it wouldn't sell.
rolled 19 = 19>>3692725I suspect a porn set. Check room for hidden cameras.
>>RADIO!But it only shows the time.You VERY SLOWLY advance to the drawers on the left side of your desk. These drawers also suffer or enjoy, depending on your point of view, lacking population.
>>3692725Try to remember why you had a mortar shell in your closet. Things seem to help her remember events, after all.
>>3692887>>Drawfag: get a drinkGOOD IDEA.
>>3692882Is that some yuri? Oh you dirty girl...
>>3692882FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-Pick up Brass knuckles, give John Notebook, read MANLY MAGAZINES to gain +1 beating ability.
>>3692882Maka Maka? Isn't that... lesbian?
>>3692901Awesome.OH! When we get back, read diary, and then write down everything that happened today, fondly remembering the bathtime sequence when you get to that part.
take BRASS KNUCKLEStake YURI MAGIZINEStake FLASHLIGHT-LIKE-THING from nightstandgo EAT LOTS OF FOOD
>>3692882Get notebook, journal, see if it says anything.Pocket brass knuckles.Then give journal to John with pen if nothing is written inside.Also, how bout a new thread?
I see a sheathed Ka-Bar knife, too. So Joan's previous life consisted entirely of masturbating and fucking shit up?
whut hnapens next??
>>3692882Bwahaha that looks like Take On Me issue 1 to me.I shouldn't know that.
Continued in >>3693051