Hear ye, hear ye, members of our beloved Mage's Guild. It has recently been brought to my attention that our stores of holiday supplies are steadily dwindling. This necessitates action, both to restock our supply room, and to catch the culprit behind this senselessness. I am sure that none of us want a repeat of last year, myself least of all. It was a complete embarrassment, and I will not have any more of our guild members spending their time in the county jail because they decided to take the party to the streets. Especially not me again.
>>36700104Would it kill you to make these meetings at a reasonable hour? I was in the middle of a shower.
>>36700236Perfect timing for a meeting, then. Greetings, Conspierre.
>>36700248Morning. How are your classes going?
>>36700258... O-outstandingly, isn't it obvious? Dare you insinuate I could be anything less than perfect?
>>36700269No one begins their studies as a perfect mage, there's no shame in it. It's why we have schools in the first place.
>>36700297This is because arcane magic is so dumb. I need to actually waste my time studying a formula over and over instead of just politely asking my goddess to let me borrow a fraction of her power. This is some strange kind of madness.
If this is about those eggnog-golems downstairs, I can totally explain.
>>36700418Eggnog-golems you say..... I will downstairs if anyone needs me. Hold my pants, i wont be needing them.
>>36700349Well, can't have everything handed to you. None of the best things will be. I can offer you some advice though. Arcane magic is all about forcing your will upon the world around you. Asking it politely will rarely if ever work.>>36700418My....MY EGGNOG STASH?!?!
>>36700104Around this time of year the members of the Cult of Changing Tides usually pull a large prank on the local town. >>36700349And who is this? I do not believe we have met.
Not my fault this time! Also, there may or may not be a Fire Titan rampaging in the Forges...
>>36700104Is this really an issue? We all know it's those alchemists stealing supplies to make budget alcohol.>>36700349Arcane Magic is less about asking the world and more about taking what is there and bending it. Good morning Apprentice.>>36700236Implying you'd trust water Pierre.>>36700418*facepalm* What did you do?>>36700500Jheska's daughter who is a Drow princess staying here while the Drow hunt for her bitch mother. They don't get along.>>36700508Nope he's just drunk on eggnog.
>>36700104I would like to discuss how you have progressed from Antruthius the Wizard to the much more eleborate Archwizard Antruthius, Head of the Mage Guild and Master of all Arcane Schools.
After last season's debacle, I refuse to be left responsible for the tower's snowmen initiative. I will NOT waste my time and talents making plain, inanimate snowmen or go through the indignity of being interrogated over the loss of so many apprentices.I still stand by my defence that their failure is their own, and they should have raised proper wards to prevent the loss of their souls.
Thankfully all Christmas books have been preserved since last year and as a special treat the library has commissioned works for each chapter of this guide a specialized Christmas tale, along with non secular holiday tales. That said, if we can have people PLEASE return all books related to cookie baking that would be lovely, as of today they are all overdue and we worry they are damaged. We won't say who borrowed them, you know who you are, but we do not want another "pasta cookbook" fiasco
>>36700494>Well, can't have everything handed to you...Come again? It is almost like your words made no sense, but I probably just misunderstood you.>>36700500Greetings, wizard. You stand before the legitimate ruler of the Underdark, Chosen of Lolth and fourth to bear the name of Jheska.You are free to bow now.
>>36700545I used some enhanced interrogation techniques on it first. It acquiesced to my demands. I have gained a valuable ally against the rocks.
>>36700553Thank goodness. Last year a snow man walked into the library and rather impolitely melted in the tropical beaches section. Very uncouth of him
>>36700558Really? Ask Soros politely if he'll reveal the secrets of the spelleye to you, it would allow you to master nearly any school of magic instantly.
>>36700558...Chosen of Lolth?.............I don't think we should be seen talking if you want to keep that status.
>>36700545I am still sober Soros, and its not my fault! Blame my stupid apprentice and his cockyness.
>>36700548Ah, that is a most long winded tale indeed. I became the head of the guild and mastered all arcane schools. With magic that will not be explained. For the record, I did not begin calling myself this, it was a product of other guild members deciding that we needed a figurehead.
>>36700557*Glances at Pierre*>>36700553Snowmen aren't supposed to steal souls, you do realize that?>>36700558Patience is a virtue Youngling and>>36700581no Pierre it will not her viewpoint is far too narrow to be at useful.>>36700593I meant the fire titan is drunk on eggnog.
>>36700557Oh and in other news the library has commissioned for some interesting spells, as of today you can expect different sections of the library to reflect the books inside. I can attest the cooking section smells lovely and the necromancy section is now more popular than ever, truely as lively as it has ever been! Test spells and incarnations straight out of the books or go to some geographical sections for a bit of a getaway! Although I cannot figure out why the cephalipod section is so popular among the females of guide. Huh.
>>36700609We don't want anyone accused of the pasta cookbook fiasco *stares at Pierre* but they know what they did
>>36700104I should have a large collection of festive potions prepared and ready for the celebrations ahead Guild Master, including the ever popular "Snow Golemifier". Perhaps these we can sell in our stores along side our magical trinkets to generate a bit more funds so we can finally pay off the Fighter's Guild and get those aracanum artifacts they plundered from that dragon hoard a few months ago.Plus it'll finally put an end to their whining.Just please restrain yourself this year from mixing them as you did last year Antuthius with alcohol. Magical potion mixed drinks are not to be trifled with.
>>36700609"far too narrow"?Wasn't for the fact that I know my mother to be the most horrible person in the world I'd say I'm coming to understand why she did want to crush you.>>36700588I don't understand your point. Devils have nothing to do with Lolth they are LE
>>36700609Oh... No, I think hes sober too, and very angry that we woke him up from his nap...
>>36700609I was really hoping you'd just give her a flat no and not soften the blow.>>36700628I will not apologize. The road to culinary success is a long and arduous one, mistakes are expected.
>>36700633Child you rely far too much on Lolth for your good. You do realize as soon as you serve he purpose she'll either discard or devour you. She is a demon goddess, she isn't to be trusted. As long as you rely on her Spelleye and several other spells will not function to their fullest. Besides Spelleye is a bitch too learn in the first place.>>36700636Someone woke him up by dumping eggnog on him. He's made of fire you do the math.>>36700646Ah well.
Now, Fever! Now, Leper! Now, Anthrax, and Pox! On, Rabbies! On, Chills! On, Plague and Rot!*A sleigh drawn by eight giant rats bashes right through the doors, with a moldy old driver, so bloated and sick*Ho Ho Ho, arcane abominations!
>>36700693Oh no, Santa Claws!
>>36700693You have no idea how much I hate admitting that the entrance you just made was phenomenal.
>>36700693<Cleansing Wind> Get the gone blighter. WE have no patience for you right now.
>>36700629Might I request you hold a "perfect permanent peppermint breath" potion aside for me? Long days in the "cata-tomes" can lead to awful book breath and the appretices are never ready.>>36700646Making the pasta cookbooks into pasta was over doing it however. I only request the cookie cookbooks be either returned unharmed or soft baked yet hard enough to dip in yak milk
>>36700633Well, my cult may have forced Lolth to reincarnate. And I am an Anti-Devil, I was a human not too long ago, but using the power gained from eating many devils I transformed myself into a being which I like to call an Anti-Devil, as in I am a being who is the bane of devils and Archdevils. As you can hopefully see I am a large white being with a Devils visage and if my presence is sensed it will be comparable to the aura of an Archangel.
>>36700689You are not a man of faith and thus, you cannot comprehend. Lolth cares about me, she would never do to me what she did to my mother.
>>36700710He's a member of the druid's circle, we're working with them now.>>36700701How do you know what that is but not know how to take power for yourself?...How radically did drow society change after the fall of House Khaer'morrath?
>>36700693GOLGOLATH! Are my fellow cultists maintaining your swamp properly?
>>36700609That's the whole point! It was revolutionary golemcraft at work.
>>36700104Last time I had to stay in that santa girl outfit for an entire month, now normally I'm no stranger to tiny skirts and exposed midriffs but that one was ludicrous, even by my standards.>>36700701Oh great, the drow's here.
>>36700712I MISUNDERSTOOD THE DIRECTIONS, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? WAS THE PASTA NOT DELICIOUS?
I admit it, I have been steal from the liquor stash all year. But so does every person present in this meeting!
>>36700719I have been said the guild is sacred ground and as such, no blood should be shed in his halls. Besides doing that would mean I'm me no better than my mother. I'd rather tell about you to the fairly well trained assassins I have in spades and wait for a better occasion.>>36700729There is no such a house, none has never been and none will.
>>36700765She's in denial regarding some hard lessons about spoonfeeding and its lack of long term viability.
>>36700701Well well well what have we here? The chosen of Lolth, huh? Oh I'm really scared. So you're the one everybody is talkin' about, ha, ha>>36700705Ho Ho Ho! I know!>>36700710Come on, as if you couldn't foresee that I wanted to share some christmas spirit!>>36700748Yes, they do a great work. I had time to carry out so many gifts.
>>36700712Of course my esteemed colleague. I am well aware of the long, self-imposed banishments into the cata-tomes, researching lore for my greatest mystical elixers, and what that can do to a studious mage's breath.Of course there'll be the usual side effects.
>>36700782So they still remember that huh? Good to know.
>>36700770Okay, it was excellent I will admit that, and being ciliac the lack of gluten was a welcome bonus, and the change of lemon-pepper taste to a cumin and dill after taste was quite refreshing on.my pallet.... BUT THE POINT REMAINS!
>>36700723*starts laughing, doubling over* Oh good one Younglin- Oh wait you were serious? Child she is a literal demon, you can only be three things to her a useful tool, an enemy or food. As long as you serve a useful purpose to her you live, as soon as she feel you are any threat to her, she will devour you. I've seen it countless times before.>>36700729I forgot so sue me that plague sled sent my onto the defensive.>>36700760Calm it down then>>36700765Hello Noel>>36700770It was.>>36700782Funny Drow revisionist history. I remember Pierre and i engineering it's fall.>>36700774Can't drink it'd mess me up.
>>36700797Oh I am fine with all the side effects, it will be for my apprentices as I pack a toothbrush and paste for the long expiditions
>>36700765Warlock Noel. I've been looking forward to this meeting. Let me thank you wholeheartedly for the way you dealt with my mother, although she deserved way worst than that.>>36700793... Gr..greetings, talking shambling mold. Please, do not come anywhere near me.
>>36700782Well, the Cult is just as large as the Guild and we have a literal God as a member. Also we have an alliance with the Sahuagin communities as the Cult is currently worshiping one of their gods.>>36700793That is wonderful! Also if you want I have with me a couple of Lolth's eggs.
>>36700774Never would I do such a thing! Because the liquor stash is almost always empty.
>>36700823Well, she's got worse coming. Wait....are you afraid of Santa?
>>36700793Greetings! The library has many tomes for you to decompose as per usual! I hope you don't mind we needed to rebind the books recently so it's mostly spines
>>36700827Are those really wise to bring here? Given our company?>>36700834Yes she is. Remind me to show you why later.
>>36700818Things will be different. The previous chosen ones were weak, greedy and lustful, so Lolth saw fit to smite them. But-I- am different.>>36700827More assassins, then.>>36700834Y... you do not know the story of Santa Claws? It is pretty well known in the underdark!
>>36700861>>36700827What are those things you are trying to hide under your robe, Soros, let me see them...
>>36700823Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Jheska. I do not like you, I think you being here is a mistake, and to be perfectly frank the only reason why I'm even acknowledging you is because even I'm not that petty to ignore a living being outright, but by the gods do I wish I was. I also find your taste in dresses deplorable.
>>36700823Oh dear I bet I have some sweet stuff in my bag for you. *walks over to the Princess*>>36700827Hmmm sound interesting...might be able to create a spider plague from their essence...>>36700845...I think being allied with you aberrations has some good sides after all.
>>36700862I've got to hear this.>>36700765I've finally got a spell made that can harm Jheska Senior without harming Fryja. Still searching for them, but the hope is still there.
The Department of Post Mortem Communications would like to point out that Ex-Professors Caradun, Multania, and Angarat would like to be summoned before the party actually starts. So can we know when the party will start, so we can prepare the d̶a̶r̶k̶ ̶s̶u̶m̶m̶o̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ r̶e̶a̶n̶i̶m̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ the contact procedure on time, please?
>>36700862*pulls up an orb showing countless Drow all saying the exact same thing in various times and places*Do you even begin to understand how many Chosen have said that? Hell even Your mother said in more less the same tone of voice as you. Do you want to see their fates?>>36700879*Energy tentacles come out of the robe* Happy? These two won't go away.>>36700895Don't take all the credit Pierre.
>>36700765Everybody had a good time, don't think too badly of it.>>36700774I deny such an accusation for i have little love for the river water that fills the bottles in the liquor stash.
>>36700882B-begone! None of your sweat treats shall defile my tongue!>>36700881I think you are misunderstanding thankfulness for flattery. And what is with you being so defiant in front of me, instead of showing proper politeness?I think I like you, warlock. It'll be an honor to learn from you.>>36700895You'll have to wait for a while.>>36700919They were wrong. I find this rather simple to understand. Now put those... gross things back.
>>36700919Ahhhh, Soros, perfect. Can you send me the information on when the party will start? I guess you already know, being a divinator and all that. I need to send out my m̶i̶n̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ students to get the necessary components, and ghouls teeth are very hard to get.
>>36700912Yes. Illusions target the mind exclusively, and I've been working on improving Conspierre's Enhanced Interrogation. Shouldn't be a problem. See that wyvern in the rafters?>A purple haze surrounds it, it falls from the rafters screaming. The shrieks echo loudly throughout the main hall.Turns out she already lost Lloth's favor. Apparantly the mook that dropped off junior told me, but he was exceptionally long winded and I dozed off.
>>36700931You are shit that has been switching the white liquor with water! Aren't you!?
>>36700919Different spell, I thought a backup would be useful. Or a primary. I really want to inflict a lot of pain on that woman.
>>36700882A librarians purpose is to appease everyone and everything, besides it's easier than sending my underlines to find a hamper to dispose of these things. They never organize the hampers so we can't ever find them.
Good afternoon everyone, I trust the typical wintertide festivities are well into preparation? I myself will be on the yearly Observance to the Pyreen Chapel, but I am willing to aid in your own preparations.>>36700938Ah, greetings your Highness. I am certain your studies have been going well. Is there anything you need?
>>36700974My Dear lawmagus, so good to see you. I would like to inquire how my departments attempt to revert to its former name is coming along. There was something about the city opposing it, if I recall correctly....
>>36700938Drow are all kissups until they have a chance to back stab them. As for learning from me, I already have an apprentice, a GOOD apprentice, but I suppose I could teach you a few things during your stay here. Just don't wear that spiderweb looking dress to class, or it'll go the same way as Sam's denim jeans.
>>36700938You really should try the sweet things, his body secreted sugar and he is a surprisingly good cook for being mold
>>36700938Really now? Want to know a secret? Khoraxes, the hero that brought about Khaer'morrath's end?
>>36700861Well, I did promise the Guild at least one egg.>>36700862>>36700879Also, the corpse of Lolth was delicious according to my fellow Head Cultist Rosicbo, the Devourer of Gods.
>>36700895>I've got to hear this.It is a story that drow mothers use to tell their sons as a warning. It says once a year, an horrible druid from the surface, hiding under a fake daemonic visage, comes to the underdark and visits all the drow kids than have been too good, or have told the truth too much, or have not denounced their peers to the authority if they caught them doing something goodish, and leaves a pile of horribly sweat treats all over into their houses. Such a cruel thing to do to an innocent child, I know.
>>36700938*The 2 tentacles recede* Gladly. *hands her a crystal* Watch this and learn little one, or not. Either way suits me fine.>>36700970I understand completely.>>36700947*Writes down on a piece of paper* There you go, by the way you might want to fix your double talk issue. Necromancy is perfectly legal here.>>36700974She's in a snit because she isn't an instant master of the arcane.>>36701001You do realize all that did was piss Lolth off? She has too large of a following for one corporeal death too much affect her.
>>36700938Here have some spiders. *takes a hand full of spiders out of his bag* They may or may not be horrifyingly poisonous though.>>36700971Do you have a copy of the Liber Pestilentia by any chance?
As a side note, the use of magic to turn money into more money was a success, and even technically legal!We should be seeing a 20% increase in tithes to the guild from my students in a few months. Should we exploit this to build the new wing we've always wanted before the legal loophole gets patched?
>>36701020Might as well, we never got to replacing the one Jake'ness decommissioned.
>>36700966Oh please, i have no interest in the consumption of such poor quality drink let alone enough spare time on my hands to commit such a petty heist. On the other hand, i cannot vouch for my students should they feel the need to..er... practice the skills they have learned from my tutelage.
>>36701010Lamentably the bursar thinks that the commoners won't sign on for classes in necromancy and forced this bloody name on me. Im trying to get it changed back, but the man is the most stubborn idiot I have ever known. Thankyou, I'm sure the Ex-professors will be most grateful.
>>36701038Hah, my homeland has one about six to eight drow putting naughty children in bags and beating them.
>>36700996Sadly, "necromancy" is an unpopular term with the League of the Revived, formerly the League of the Undead. They've had a big push to put the affairs of the dead and those who deal with them into a less negative light, and you know how lobbyists are.>>36701020I should hope it WAS legal. Not that it is my position to change such laws.
>>36700997Oh all these speak of burnt things reminds me, I don't suppose you still have the "advanced pyrokinetics vol. IX-C" still? Even charred remains so we can restore it would be nice.>>36701011I can say we do, with new enchantments in the library you can experience the spells from books before you read them so you can find the right spell fastest. That said you'll need to get the book yourself as last time I went to the decay area of the library my cloak was ruined
>>36701009Wait, I saw you take a sweet the other day from someone.
>>36701042One moment *Throws a ball and hits some across the room in the head* Fix that shit bursar you know not to prank the necromancers during the holidays. Should be fixed momentarily, it's one of the 7 Ur schools of magic it shouldn't be trifled with.
>>36701078>NegateHonestly Noel, the spiders will not be harming you. Let's try and keep the pyromantics to a minimum.
>>36701000No. Such. An. House. Existed. Did I make myself clear?>>36701038"Traditional" is the word you were looking for. Traditional.>>36700974Yes, there is something. Could you please take this man at bay?>>36701011>>36701010What is this supposed to be?>>36700997Fine, you are free to think about it that way, it will not affect me nor what I think about you. What should I wear then, to better suit your taste?
>>36701010Yeah, but it will take a bit more time for her to regain the power she lost reincarnating. Plus in a fight it will be two Gods against one since we have gained great favor from Kulhutu and he will help us in a physical form should Lolth ever attack us directly and Jugalo, the God of Miracles, is a member of our cult.
>>36701065Please, all pyromancy books are flame resistant. The answer is yes by the way, its in my personal book shelf. Seventh shelf, to the far right to be precise, can't miss it.
>>36701061It did not involve the duplication of any currency, but instead the use of high-speed acquisition and sale of shares in minor corporations to rapidly accumulate small amounts of gold, which add up to large amounts of gold over time. This is, of course, legal to buy and sell shares, the only difference being the speed at which it is done. The only real issue is that the students eventually get tired of buying and selling off of minute fluctuations. If only there was a golem that could move at the speeds required...
>>36701086It was no sweet at all, though. I'd say it was rather sour.
>>36701061I know, only the other day I had a Lich talking to me about how he was being oppressed due to the actions of MY students. I tried to point out that my students had nothing to do with him killing three kingdoms, but he just wouldn't listen.>>36701088Sadly the Lawmagus informs me that the bloody League of Revived are making trouble as well. I mean, we still do the same bloody thing, but apparently semantics are important now....
>>36701091Suit yourself, that was one of my favorite jobs to pull off. The look on their matron mother's face when I dropped the disguise, I swear.
>>36701078*Golgolath splits in the middle like he was made of writhing worms letting the fireball pass right through him*>>36701065Should be no problem for me.>>36701091No spiders? Ya sure?
>>36701091Something big, heavy, and covers every square inch of you.
>>36701122Golgolath, have you been harassing the students again? Please keep your various arthropods and blights to yourself while on Mage Guild grounds.>>36701111I've never been attuned to social movements, but if history is any indication the "Revivification" movement will pass in time and necromancy will be necromancy once more.
>>36701091IT's a crystal that has images of the fates of all the previous chosen in it. >>36701096Heh You got lucky that time and we all know it. Still good job.>>36701111You're a wizard act like it take pride in your school man!>>36701115It was hilarious, I still have that look in an engraving i commissioned.
>>36701138...I bet I have something in my bag for you too, arcane abomination.
>>36701123Judging from the clothes you put on for this meeting, I assume large robes are not the kind of dress you favor. Which leads me to think you are trying to degrade me with such an obnoxious robe just to get your revenge against the drow race. You are a magnificent woman, warlock, were you a drow you would have had a lot of followers.
>>36701122Oh Golgolath, could you please stop decomposing all the bodies in our storage lockers. My students need something to practice on, and while I can reanimate sludge, it is very hard to do for your first time resurrection. >>36701141I am very proud of my school, and still give out official Necromancer robes at graduation, but most of our bodies come from the city morgue, and so we need to keep the bloody lobbyists happy>>36701138Ahhh, I dream of that day... no more goddamn debates over whether or not it is "ethical" to raise someone who has living family. No more whining about how undead are misunderstood, and have feelings.....
>>36701141Luck? No careful planning went into it. Plus it wasn't just me. It was the entire Cult, including Jugalo, me, and 200 volunteer Sahuagins. It was really great. 1,253 Cultist had to be resurrected and so did 146 Sahuagins.
>>36701189I can always just make you walk around in your birthday suit, Princess.
>>36701170Uhhh, can I get a very good specimen for my research this year?
>>36701201Yes you still owe me money for that job Lurco! It comes to about 3000 souls, or 15 dragon hearts.
>>36701170I do not wish to see your privates again Golgolath. You are a fine druid, but there is a time and a place for such things. The time is not now, and the place is certainly not here.>>36701196Be thankful you were not present for the Ajural movement, I spent weeks rewriting and refining centuries-old laws in order to accommodate those who cannot conceive the concept of "legality".
>>36701196Fair enough though i no most other teachers will still call it was it is.>>36701201She was lacking her retinue you got lucky, didn't she devour several cultists souls anyways?
>>36701141I'll make sure to put it somewhere I can hear it. The sound of tortured voices helps me to sleep. I'll bring it to my room, and be back in a while.>>36701214As you wish, warlock.
Good afternoon everyone, sorry I am late, we just finished putting up the decorations in my town, and someone *stares at my shadow* just couldn't let it go unfinished.
>>36701224Try getting a deal with the city morgue. Works for me.
>>36701240Hope you like the sound of Lolth laughing at mortal folly as well.>>36701247We all know how it is James. Of nothing.
>>36701240Wait to the heavy robes or the birthday suit idea?
>>36701271I sincerely hope it is the former.
>>36701239I know, and I appreciate it. It makes many of my students feel very empowered. Oh, your predecessor, Divinator Alumbranath wants a word. Alcove 5, Urn 7
>>36701255I usually need good living parts, thank you very much. I also am not yet immune to all creatures yet, so I'm a bit reticent to go after the more dangerous ones.
>>36701224If you want, the butchers down on fifth and seventh street has recently come into some interesting specimens of meat that I'm sure would fit your needs. Tell them I sent you, and they'll lead you to it.
>>36701271She better not try and take my wet t-shirt title. I'm warning you now Noel, if you make her make me defend my title I shall be forced to do something ridiculous.
>>36701271She's a proud Drow princess in a society with no nudity taboos. What do you think?>>36701283My predecessor warped himself into an abomination bent on subverting the entire world. I killed him myself. I don't know who that is but i think he has the wrong number.
>>36701293Any bones there? One of my more promising students wants to make a bone golem, and needs some decent bones to form an arm or three
If anyone is wondering why most of everyone's belongings are piles of coal; we at the transmutation labs apologize for what has happened ,and we are fixing it as fast as possible.
>>36701324Yes, if you're willing to deal with non-human bones. They've even got some exotic examples after that deal with the fighters guild they pulled a few weeks back.
>>36701229What are you talking about? We had a God of Death... wait you wouldn't happen to be a chosen of the Death God?>>36701239You mean her clergy? Well most of her top priestesses were there. And the whole soul thing is kind of negated when you risk having your own soul devoured. She either let some of her power be lost possibly forever or use the souls she devoured as a substitute for Rosicbo to devour. And once the souls were in Rosicbo all we needed to do was release them in a ritual.
>>36701322Oh god dammit. >>36701240 robes, you're wearing heavy, uncomfortable robes that cover every square inch of you and that's final, princess.
>>36701196It's not MY fault you vile necromancers try do use corpse for unnatural black magic!>>36701224Depends, what are you willing to give me for one of my sacred plaguebringers?>>36701235What do you mean with again? If it's about the incident in the forrest, I can wear what I want in nature!
Sorry I'm late boys, what did I miss?
>>36701103Excellent! Library policy for overdue books shouldn't apply to the headmasters in my opinion but the library needs money in some way.>>36701122*after narrowly avoiding a fireball*Well, I'll see to getting you a library identification card. It's good here and on the seven planes major libraries, you can borrow scrolls and tomes from any and return books at any of the destinations>>36701247AH lord James! Excellent seeing you! We have recently gotten some of the texts you required in, I apologize about the tardyness as they needed to be transported across three worlds through time and space
>>36701322Hmm, I'll send one of my skeletons down to check.>>36701347Non-human! How non-human? Bigger? smaller?>>36701366Unnatural! What is unnatural about forcing a departed spirit into a partly decayed body and forcing it to do your will! ......oh.
>>36701377Arguments about necromancy. Again. Sometimes, I think that entire school of magic was made exclusively to get into arguments.>>36701393Smaller, generally. Most of it is livestock, but the Fighers Guild acquired them a live manticore (de-tailed, sadly) that they're going to butcher in a day or two for some noble lord. I'm sure you could cut a deal with them for the bones.
>>36701377I'm telling the princess over there to ditch the drow spiderweb dress and get into some heavy, comfortable robes.
>>36701366I actually have a perfect vector for disease made. It's a mixture of a rat, a mosquito, a tick and a flea. It feeds off of anything, thus increasing the possibility of gaining a disease to transmit.
>>36701377A fairly normal meeting. I may have to defend my wet t-shirt title. Noel got into an argument with Junior about her attire, Noel threatened to make her wear her birthday suit. Don't mind the still screaming wyvern, I demonstrated a new spell on it.>The Wyvern's vocal cords rupture, reducing its previously deafening shrieks to a faint raspOh, there it goes.
>>36701351I'm assuming the priestesses were stand ins then because Drow society hasn't collapsed.>>36701361You know she's likely a sado-masochist right?>>36701377Not much, just the interplay Between the Drow princess ad Noel.>>36701393Now he might be one of my students, I am over 2 millenia old, but he isn't my predecessor.
>>36701377LUPA! How's the research going?
>>36701361Better than nudity I suppose.>>36701377Not terribly much, in fact. It reminds me of the old days, when much of the meetings were mundane discussions.>>36701393Forcing, Arthbrax? I trust you're well aware of the Act of Necromantic Practices, subsection 105.6e - "No practitioner of necromancy or revivification magics shall, at any time, cause a spirit of the deceased or neverborn to inhabit a physical form against its will and without documented and uncoerced consent."
>>36701437Yes I'm aware of that but if she walks around naked every single one of my male students won't keep their eyes off of her and develop a thing for drow women.And possibly some of female students too.
>>36701380Excellent, thank you for your hard work Levi, I will pick them up after the meeting.
>>36701410Perfect! I'm sure Fleicdas will be most happy with some manticore bones, it'll add some nice flair to his golem. >>36701437Ahh, he is your predecessor, but he is currently hijacking one of the urns. Be right back....>(popping sound followed by loud chanting and rumbling coming from the base of the Tower of Undeath)
>>36701380It's hard to come by some books about plague metaphysics as druid, I would appreciate the opportunity to study some of your books.>>36701393...Everything, really. I mean I do use some death magic, but mine is more decay and disease and less shambling zombie apocalypse.>>36701422Sounds like a fantastic creature may I ask for some samples for my swamp?
>>36701461Charms of Sexual Repression, dear Noel. They are both legal and underutilized. I've had them installed in my classrooms so my students can focus on their work.
>>36701461Hope her robes are fire proof then, girl going to have a figure that'd make her mother look flat.>>36701475I'm coming with he's a slippery one.>>36701481You know pyromancy feeds on passion of all types right? Not feasible.
>>36701477I would be glad to give you some. I'm happy to gain more immunities to the diseases you peddle, or use them for my own purposes.
>>36701449Of course I am aware! The bloody League won't let me forget! I was simply using the deeply held and not at all still practiced traditions of Post-mortem communications to make a point.
>>36701501Hmm. Perhaps a charm of Sexual Frustration? Effectively the same result, but they'll certainly be more emotive.
>>36701503I'm currently working on a Corprus disease, it warps the flesh of the infected fusing them with other wildlife and plantmatter, I can send you a sample once I am done.
>>36701536I wouldn't advise it.
>>36701377The libraries newest feature allows people to experience and test spells with the opening of the book! That said, harmful spell books shall now remain off-limits to underlings for obvious reason.>>36701477Oh I hear you, took several centuries to locate and acquire the texts we have. By the heavens one text took so long to get to us that the moss-being that wished to read/consume it had split into it's 4th generation before we received it and then we needed to reproduce it for all the new mosslings! Quite cute little buggers.
>>36701377Hey Lupa, I have your Lolth egg here and I know you said you didn't have need for the corpse but I thought you might like one of her fangs. I had another fang made into a powerful dagger.>>36701437>>36701501Well, didn't the Clergy of Lolth have to replace some of their members because of their alliances with Jheska senior? I'm pretty sure I overheard some of the priestesses in battle saying how they had to prove themselves to Lolth again.
>>36701536Thing is then they'd be More Randolph's students than Noel's. They'd be going at it like rabbits.
>>36701501BY THE BLACK FLAMES OF BHAAL I BANISH YOU FROM THIS EXISTENCE NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!HAH MORE OF YOU!! BEGON... oh hello Soros, didn't see you there. If you could just chant the spell of future blindness over him so he can't keep preempting my attacks.
>>36701536I'd advise against that.Charge students by the hour to study in areas she frequents. Not only will the stupid among them be poor, you'll have money! It's flawless.
>>36701501Don't worry about the robes, I'll charm some resistance into them, or the breasts for that matter, I learned this back in the orient.
>>36701546Oh my word, I would love that. It makes me so damn hot I'm gaining pheromone glands as we speak.
>>36701576Charging extra fees for studies in a class I do not teach? I'd never think of it!But, since Sexual Frustration and Sexual Repression seem to be unpopular, then heavy robes, as I prefer, are the way to go.
>>36701566Only one of two, Most priestesses hate their fellows, backstabbing society of cruelty and all.>>36701571<Song of Samara> There you go this should turn all fate and probability against him.>>36701583That means you'd have to touch her..... You do realize Drow sexuality is basically yes right?
>>36701583You know I can just cast an illusion so she looks more plain? Or she can do it herself.
>>36701410Another argument about Necromancy? Haven't we beat that dead horse enough?>>36701413>>36701437Wait, we have a princess in the guild?>>36701444My research is going very well are the moment, thank you. I've almost perfected my newest magical creature.>>36701565That seems like a very stupid feature. I mean, what if an underling somehow gets his hands on an extremely high level spell?>>36701566Thank you very much. I guess I can try to think of a way to make a creature that I can milk this kind of poison from. It would help a lot with my side job.
>>36701626Trusting Drow is rarely a good idea. Every single time I've met one they've tried to scam me. The fact that I was doing the same shall go un-noted on the minutes.>>36701635Somehow, I doubt she would do that. It's considered somewhat shameful to hide yourself in Drow society, if I recall.
>>36701565I think I know the Druid who made the moss-beings, he was a decent guy a bit mad, but he loved nature thats all that counts.>>36701599I have all sorts of wonderfully depraved plagues and blights home in my swamp, most inflicting wondefull degrees of body-horror upon the infected.
>Ok, ok, does anyone hear me? Hallo?
>>36701626I'll take the risk, the alternative is trusting her to do it.
>>36701626Ahhh, thank you.PERISH IN THE DARK POWER OF MY MAJESTY FOOLISH SPIRIT! I BIND YOU TO THIS ORB, NEVER AGAIN TO EXERT YOUR INFLUENCE HERE!>>36701667Ahh Sir, I hope the summoning worked okay
>>36701667Gods, Cromina?! Is that you?
>>36701637Jheska's daughter (also named Jheska) Chosen of Lolth and princess of a great house. Her mother tried to off her and killed her sister, so she's staying here while the Drow hunt for her bitch mother. she's attempting to learn magic while she's here.>>36701655Their society is built on backstabbing and deceit.>>36701667I hear you Cromina, Might want to fine tune the spell its staticy.>>36701671Good luck.>>36701680No problem.
>>36701667Hello there Cromina!And hello to everyone else, sorry I am this late, I was delayed by the seasonal meeting of the League Of Suspiciously Cowled Mages.
>>36701667OH NOT THAT VOICE AGAIN DAMNIT I AM NOT CRAZY STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT
>>36701667Oh its the Eldritch Knight in the paper armor. We're got sidetracked again, we were talking about keeping the holiday supplies from being stolen.
Sorry I'm late! We're still on for our Annual Holiday Play right? I got the bards College to advertise our spectacular lack of mimics among the benches.
>>36701665O-oh my god, stop seducing me. I may just fuck you here and now with my tentacles. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!
>>36701703You'd get better ticket sales if you increased the prices by one-fifth, as strange as it seems. People think costly things are better whether or not they actually are.
>>36701637Then we immediately move them to either the comedy section or the medicine section and hope for the best. All depends on if we like the underling or not.>>36701665Oh I think I remember who, the name evades my memory but I believe he had kids last I heard of him. Like baby goats, that he stole from farmers. Good for him though.
>>36701667Cromina? What's going on?>>36701680Okay so for payment for the resurrections how many Devil souls would you ask for?
>>36701680>SirHer voice may be a bit deeper, but honestly...>>36701671Madam Jheska seems a fine woman. She's always been appreciative of my efforts, at least.>>36701703I should hope so, the Theatromancy department has been hyping this play as though it were the retelling of Jarl's Tale!>>36701718Please, Carnifex. No one here wants to see Golgolath naked. Try and contain yourself.
>>36701680>Sir? SIR? It is CROMIA! LIESELOTTE! ISOLDA! VON MANNSFIELD-SCHWARZHELM! This is ridicolous, I'm risking my ass to cal you, pricks!>>36701695>>36701681>>36701738>Do not be stupid, pierre, it just me, cromia. Idiots>>36701696>Hell, not nice to meet you to, thanks. Gods, I'm here as an hostage, could you please be kind with me?So, how's everyone doing?
>>36701765We are well. And preparations to rescue you are well underway.
>>36701741>>36701765forgive me, my eyes and ears were blasted out of my skull when fighting the spirit of the previous head Divination. I'm still regrowing a new set.>>36701738I think 30 devil souls should balance the books.
>>36701741TELL HIM THAT! God, I love seeing others get blessed with fleshwarping in odd ways. It makes me feel so hot.
>>36701667...Telepathy or is the brain rot affecting me?>>36701718As long you don't mind my bloated, cancerous, sore covered body, filled with pus and maggots...
>>36701765Well look at the bright side, at least they let you keep your arms and armor. Right?
>>36701765You know how I feel about telepathy damnit! Ugh...So, how are things?
>>36701691And you're trusting what a Drow says? Are you really so gullible? I think it's more likely that she came here to learn magic and/or frame us for something. Or she's a spy working for her mother, and she is also learning some high level magic so that she can eventually kill her mother.>>36701718For the love of god, get some self control. You're embarrassing yourself.
>>36701776And here I thought we were actually bartering with them. Am I but a ruse? I've got them down to roughly three-fifty.
>>36701765>>36701776Wait, what happened?>>36701783Okay, next meeting I will have 30 Devil souls, maybe a couple extra.>>36701789I think it's a long range magic spell. Telepathy is used with psionic power which I don't think Cromia is a practitioner of.
>>36701765Hostage? But... who has you prisoner? This is supposed to be the only season of the year where villains and schemers and foreshadowing secret antagonists call their sche-niving quits!
>>36701789Golgolath, I am a walking humanoid abomination, you think I give a fuck about disease? I am my own condom and healer. I can kill most fighters in close range combat by using muscle memory. You think I care about DISEASE?
>>36701765Just ignore me why don't you? Anyways nice to Hear from you Comina I*tilts head*>>36701803She's clean I gave her a full scan top to bottom. I'm not an idiot Lupa. She's also very bad at magic for the most part. I mean she blew herself up with a dispel magic for land's sakes. Anyways there is an Aetheric breach in the advanced Divination classroom. I need to deal with it. I will be back after it is contained.
>>36701803She's here as a peace treaty>>36701776Are you doing something...chaotic? She's part of a peace treaty, namely a hostage exchange. Or tense and shifty guest exchange if you prefer. Either way, I am so proud of you.
>>36701786>>36701789Honestly, you two. If you must, do it far out of sight and sound.>>36701834You seem a little out of the loop. Do you recall Jheska?
>>36701718Please control yourself, I rather not vomit uncontrollably.
>>36701854Hey, some of us need to record where this goes to pay off seedy debts incurred. No need to be selfish.
>>36701854look sometimes its best just to let fleshwarpers be fleshwarpers and rotfiends be rotfiends.
>>36701776>rescue? Rescue? Hold there, who said I want to be rescued, this place is fantastic! And I am here an hostage, after all. Equal exchange and all the jazz. It is all in the contract with the drow houses, check it out.>>36701789>Who's that? I do not recognize the voice and it feels like it is better this way>>36701795>>36701792Ah-ah, Noel, ah-ah, I have no weapon or armor to speak of with me, obviously. I come in peace.>>36701834You should attend more meetings, Emmerich. Still nice to "see" you.>>36701848Hey, hey, there is a fuckload of you guys, give me time. Geez...
>>36701850It seems I've been misunderstood. The preparations to rescue her ARE the treaty. I would never subvert such an agreement.
>>36701803Lupa, I'm resistant to the diseases. I can't help but love them though. The mind that came up with them is glorious and deserves bliss in my opinion.
>>36701765Pff stupid half-mage, you just had one job!>>36701831...I feel tainted by arcane magic>>36701845I think some of my disease could make you even more wonderfully grotesque...
>>36701875trust me, at least you can only hear his voice... A rotfiend after two hours of being in the place not a pleasant sight or smell
>>36701876Are you being cagey? HAVE THE HOLIDAYS COME EARLY? OH NINE HELLS HAVE THE GINGERBREAD COOKIES COME TO LIFE AND BEGUN ATTACKING THE BUFFET TABLE? RUN! ALL OF YOU RUN! THEY WERE NOT YET FINISHED, I CAN NOT POSSIBLY LET THEM BE EATEN IN THIS STATE, EVEN IF THEY ARE OUT TO KILL US ALL!
>>36701852I've been busy with foreshadowing, leading heroes awry, and feeding half-truths to adventurers while events bigger than them unfold in the background that may or may not involve ancient dragons. Also been deepening my own studies into pattern magic and researching the magics of Word and Will I recently heard about were employed by a very old, nameless empire.I already missed the mess for the most part, and since I had other things to do, haven't been paying the meetings much attention.
>>36701850To a Drow, peace means no outright war, and just subtle assassinations. But whatever, just keep her out of my lab, because Fluffy will attack any Drow on sight.
>>36701875Are they making you wear those ridiculous spider web dresses? You know, the ones with the cleavage cut so deep it might as well be considered two separate articles of clothes?
>>36701875How is the Underdark this time of year?I have always wondered if the Drow celebrate the holidays...
I must apologise friends. It would appear I sustained more damage fighting the former head of divination than I suspected. This form is decomposing at an alarming rate. be right backJENKINS!!!! WHERE'S THE LAMMASU BLOOD?!?!
>>36701956Cold.Also dark.As always.
>>36701907Don't worry, once you get back to your swamp you can have the cultist perform an arcane purge on your being.
>>36701854Sorry, I tend to subconsciously fleshwarp when I go into metaphorical heat.>>36701907I actually have a full on blob of tentacles form, I have even more grotesque forms than that. I can deal with that need you have just fine as it is.
Ah, I have to go for a bit, it seems someone back home has set their house on fire with holiday candles. I will be back eventually.
>>36701848>so how'z it going with the drow princess? Evil gods here at the palace everyone talks about her as some sort of prophet, and I don't have enough WIS to understand when the lie and when they do not. >>36701944>>36701956They are and let me say it is fantastic. But again, I spend the day going in and out from a feast to another, and the night from a bed to another, if you know what I mean. Men this place is awesome as long as you can put a metal plate covering your spine.
>>36701916What on earth are you saying, Pierre?>>36701923I will try and keep the summary succinct.A drow in the guild betrays us, nearly topples the guild with an army and help from Ashburn. We defeat her, Stabby helps her escape, she takes over Fryja's body, and we're now working with the "loyal" Drow to capture her and put an end to this.
Ah, something has come up at the Cult, be right back. *Disappears in a flash of silver light*
>>36702002There is no such thing as a loyal drow, only one that hasn't tried to backstab you yet.
>>36702002I'M SAYING WE'RE GETTING A REPEAT OF THE PASTA INCIDENT, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE YOU FOOL>Tiny gingerbread soldiers have begun to attack the downed wyvern, its screams finally ending
>>36702002That was sufficiently succint, thank you.... has she not been tracked with sympathetic magic yet? Even more so when she's wearing Fryja's body?
>>36702045Good lord not again....
>>36702028Hence the quotation runes.>>36702001I'm not surprised you're enjoying your time there. Madam Jheska has been a fine guest, but it has been a challenge to ensure she receives treatment befitting of royalty when I am the only one to do so.>>36702048Jheska has gotten very good at concealing herself, especially after her time visiting Pierre's chambers and making off with his things.>>36702045Oh heavens, not this. Shall I quell them, then?
>>36702045...Gingerbread? I must consume them now, I love that shit.
>>36701104Perhaps I can make some arrangements for it...I propose that maybe you're looking this problem from an exclusively linear perspective, how about an infinite number of golems able to make any number of operations per second condensed in one space freed from any number of physical laws in this universe?I just need a clever golemancer and a low level space mage, you can even substitute half of the lesser accounting mages.
>>36702096I can not allow that, they were not finished! RUN MY CHILDREN, RUN! I LOVE YOU MUCH MORE THAN THE TENTACULAR PASTA SURPRISE!
>>36702118Alright, that's enough of that.>Quell Misdeeds
>>36702084I refuse to do so, this guild places value on one's ability with magic, she sucks at magic, therefore I treat her with the same amount of respect as a first year student.Which is to say, barely any at all.
>>36702102That could work, but it would take an impressive amount of Space magic to receive the output in a usable form at a speed the people doing the transactions could interpret. After all, you can only declare to the seller so fast. Additionally, we'd need to make sure to either not collapse the economy entirely or to do it so fast that nobody notices. Also, material could be an issue.
>>36702084Hrm. Well, this seems just as good at time as any for me to delve back into research of the Name magic from nameless empire I mentioned. Maybe I'll find something that can help.
>>36702144Well, I certainly don't preform magic but the that hasn't kicked me from the guild.That said if you;re studying magic and you're bad at it than there is a problem
Hey everyone, I can't stay long, I was up all night with some of the graduate students from Post Mortem Communication. But I just wanted to give an update on the divination machine issue. As you may remember, we had built a divination machine that started upgrading itself to the point that it became sentient. Well, two weeks ago all the paperwork was completed to register it as an apprentice. It immediately tested out of all of its classes and went to work on its graduate study, "What is the meaning and purpose of the universe?" which, as you know, we've never found a good universal answer to. Well, two days ago it contacted me and told me it would have the answer at dawn yesterday. So of course I was there waiting to hear what it got as an answer. Once the formulations and gears stopped turning, it sat quietly humming for a few minutes, then wrote out "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It's...just too horrific." And then it wouldn't say anything else and has been quietly disassembling itself. So, no worries. Clearly it wasn't possessed by Formians like the divination department thought. I'm still convinced they're all just terrified of ants.
>>36702118>[Nibble]...Eh... so you were protecting the unruly concoctions? I can duplicate this one if you want it back...?>>36702145About the magical output and speed, that's easy. I have perfected a new doppler engine that is perfect for this problem, now always there for your commodity. As for the materials, I would need enough for 10 golems, not more, not less. About the economy crashing... that is beyond my area of expertise.Ok... maybe I can use just an n number of golems based on your needs.
>>36702144Finally, someone who agrees with me. Honestly, the biggest problem is her pride. It's insufferable.>>36702141They were so young...
>>36702193That's fine. There's plenty of other universes out there. Terribly sad that it disassembled itself, if you still have a part of two I'd love some paper weights.
>>36702207They....they weren't ready.....
>>36702220Isn't that a problem with Drow nobles in general? I only ever meet a single drow who could possibly be called "meek".The ironic thing is, she was apparently a matron's daughter.
>>36702207Well, luckily crashing economies is my specialty! Or, rather, preventing economies from crashing. I certainly did not ruin the Underdark's economy, accidentally starting the most recent Drow Civil War, that'd just be irresponsible. Which I didn't do.
>>36702220The drow are naturally prideful. I pay it no mind, and accept that it is in their nature.
>>36701939Lupa, did you get your departmental budget turned in by the first of the month? Only the buerocramancer's been hiding from me since the incident with the frogs, and my small change budget, which was enscrolled to find him has been circling over the city's red light district all week
>>36702271She's prideful in a situation where she has nothing to be prideful about.I thought forcing her into baggy, ugly thick robes that cover her up with do something but she just saw I was trying to demean her and complimented me.
>>36702144>you sure ain't that bright, for one dabbling with fire. She is a cleric, I've seen more of them down here, they know shit about arcane but their are damn rad with divine. Oh well, who cares. >>36702220>to be fair everyone of you is.>>36702220> now if I am allowed- oh, what is it kazran-ahn! N-not now- not there...! >communication error--- failed---------
>>36702271Yeah well, as long as she studies here she's just an apprentice. Pandering to her whims only hinders her studies and reinforces her belief that she's better than everyone. Which infuriates the faculty, raising tensions amongst members, and so on and so forth. >>36702258It isn't usually this bad.
*eats some cheese*
>>36702252Ok.. I can make them exist again but you must promis that you'll deliver them... >[nibble]Finished this time, and not before you're prepared to see them digested.I'll also need a simple sack of holding.>>36702264Ah! So that was you? I was wondering why the drow wanted to kill my non existance with fireballs...
>>36702313...I need a vacation.
NICE GUILD FAGGOTS!
>>36702313Well, that hostage situation sure seems to have its advantages.
>>36702303Ugh, yes I did. I hate that everyone always assumes that I always turn paperwork in late. That's only true about half the time.>>36702312You can not take the pride out of a Drow. I've tried before, it didn't work.
>>36702243I think the ants put most of the parts back in the clock tower where they came from, but you can have the ant farm. They haven't left the tank since yesterday afternoon. Just be gentle with it. It looks like they're trying to set up a hydroponic farm in the chamber below the queen's
>>36702313Shame, there was something I had to ask of her. Ah well.>>36702314She is here only temporarily, and I intend to make sure that someone shows her some kindness during that time.
>>36702339And I need some more cheese. She wasn't very competent eh? Stupid Arcane casters never get shit done.
>>36702360I probably could, but Soros would kill me.
>>36702324pass some over please. I don't mind if you made it yourself>>36702347Ni-nice sword lose-loser! Ha! I- oh. YOU OWE ME BOOKS DAMN IT!
>>36702326Just for that, Steel prices are going to hike 4000% for the next week. Best of luck getting those tin cans repaired!>>36702360Make them acknowledge the inferiority of spiders as compared to some other insect. That seems to break their minds.
>>36702347Oh, thank you.
>>36702360Really? Where's that weasely bastard hiding? I've half a mind to curse him with a trouser ferret this time.
>>36702373>purring sounds>w-wait a minute, kazran, let me finish here>o-ok, i'm here, ask what you need.
>>36702373It would be more beneficial to everyone involved if you could convince her to start listening to us.>>36702385One wheel of extra ripened maggot cheese is in the back room for you, had to keep it separate from the rest of the food due to the smell.
This thread is under my patronage
>>36702398I actually got it some weeks ago for sniffing at Conspierre. *throws some over* Catch.
So anyway I'm going to place some fire resistance on the supplies and then just put a dozen or so fire traps near them, that should solve the problem.
>>36702438...Gimmi gimmi gimmi gimmi
>>36702368oh that's fine, I hear a new recruit for the library is an intelligent ant eater and that could only end poorly>>36702442I AM NO COORDINA-*Biffed in the face by dairy product*
>>36702385>>36702398I just happen to have some freshly milked roc cheese. It's very delicious I must say, and a great spell component. Have some!>[Equivalent of 15 kilograms of creamy cheese emerge from sleeve.]You must also forgive Antruthius' son, he always wanted to be a fighter, after all.
EPIC ME-ME'S GUISE
>>36702461Much appreciated, take care Noel.
>>36702410But spiders aren't insects.>>36702438I will suggest it to her when the time arises.>>36702433Ahem, y-yes. You haven't noticed any feelings of sudden euphoria or prolonged micromania recently, have you?
>>36702486Throgh the double doors on the left there, and through the second set after that.
>>36702491it...it couldn't be...the creator of this plane on our humble guide grounds? >>36702490That is a delight! I usually take my cheese in slices paper thin but I know of a few meats and wines to pair with roc cheese. It has been a fair decade since I last had this, never get a chance to leave that library save for these meetings
>>36702488Oh, is it the one that has the purple fur? And these ants are about half an inch long, I wouldn't worry about them too much if I were you.Oh, I'm keeping the archangel feather, though.
>>36702488That's actually pretty funny.>>36702490Fresh? Lemme fix that for you *touches the cheese and coats it in fuzzy green spores* Much better.
>>36702506>mhhh, what do you mean? It is all wonderful, I mean, funny as hell, you would not believe it! But I feel pretty normal otherwise.
>>36702524Very good *walks into the cheese room*
Anyways, I'm off to bed. I'm supposed to negotiate with some Elder thingy-ma-bob to get our head alienist back tonight.
>>36702550Good then! I hear ants make wonderful organizers! There's many sections I simply can't get to in that place that need dusting and cleaning. Just send them over, Im sure they'll love our hydroponic farming sectionAnd sorry about my apperance. Bloody nose, it has taken a beating from dairy.>>36702551My sweet beak can't smell much now you know! bad enough this *snort* blood could stain my cloak
>>36702601Mhmm... alright. You should be fine.
>>36702642Well, that was quick. How have you been holding up?
>>36702601Wonderful, eh. Well, I wish you a good extended stay there then, Cromina.And good holidays to everyone, I will return to my studies. If I come up with anything to help us track down the drow, you'll all be the first to know.
*A large mouth of some creature opens on the ceiling releasing a huge egg that falls to the ground. It cracks open revealing the content of the egg to be Lurco* HAHA! How did you guys think of that entrance? Also, tell Princess Jheska IV that while Sicroidem did find the bodies and souls of the drow assassins delicious, she should refrain from sending anymore because we don't need more cultists to resurrect daily.
Well ladies, gentlemen, germ-spore mounds and elementals. I am off to the cata-tomes for some more organization, for all heads of guild chapters there's some personalized festive books I brought it for each of you. The pages are edible and the ink is mint oil and sugars so it'll be a fine read. Enjoy the books!
Finally I can sneak around in the guild without anyone minding me, stupid arcane casters.
>>36702669Well enough I suppose, Jheska puts me in a bad mood and my apprentice is sleeping in.
>walks in wearing a black robeIs this the proper way in which I am supposed to dress?>>36702686Oh my. I shall send more of them in a different occasion and execute some of their leaders as a warning... it will be a bother for sure...
>>36702696>Prescient LightHonestly, I have to keep out Krovikan rogues daily, this is child's play.Anyhow, I must be off. the Observance is in exactly 28 hours and 14 minutes, and I dread to be late.>>36702748I hope you will have a lovely holiday, your Highness.
>>36702737Oh, Sam found something in one of the magical girls' books. A purple marble that apparently has some connection to you. I was told to disregard my suspicions of it.
>>36702748Its thick, large, looks completely uncomfortable, and hides your curves, perfect. Only thing missing is you to apply these to that chest of yours.
>>36702748Uh-uh I most certainly wasn't touching all your food, I swear.
>>36702796I wish you the same, honorable magus>>36702828W...what is this for and how am I supposed to wear it?
>>36702854They're bindings, you wear use to suppress your chest. Oriental mages use it all the time for various reasons.
>>36702865Yeah. I haven't the faintest idea what it's for honestly. I lack the necessary qualifications to study anything related to the magical girls.
>>36702347H-Heh, yeah all in good fun right guys? H-Heh, yeah we are pretty close, me and those guys. We go waaaay back, use to clear dungeons out together. I'm s-sure they were just kidding.
>>36702854Now when you say "execute some of their leaders as a warning..." are you referring to the leaders if the assassins or the leaders of the Cult?
>>36702897I don't know much about magical girls either. Other than their fashion sense leads much to be desired.
>>36702916(Horrible squelching and cracking noises as arthbrax reforms from a pool of mixed bodily fluids)Who let you in here!? This is for masters only!
>>36702954Why, my assassins, they'd better not show such incompetence next time. >>36702894This... this is so outraging, to restrain a princess this way... I find this...ehm, not exciting at all...
>>36702956Eh, mysteries, right? Oooh, my eggnog should be ready. >>36702962That policy got changed, pretty much anyone can just wander in now. I don't see how that was different from before honestly. How do we have the highest security in the planes again?
>>36703071Your security is really lacking, how many times did I break into your meetings again?
>>36703071really? Cause I remember him from my dungeon ruling days...
>>36703035Uh-huh yeah sure.
>>36702894I don't know if that would be enough, you know, because of the rampaging bards, the groping wizards and the expelled lewdmasters. It would be better if we could switch her gender while she's here, far more practical. I would but there's a slight chance she'll phase out if I try anything.
>>36703035Oh, for the love of...You realize if you piss her off any more you're not going to have anyone to teach you magic, right?>>36703095We don't even keep track any more.
>>36703126Me neither, the Archdruid however wants me to keep an eye on you twits soooo you will see me more often than you probably want hehe
>>36703035How about this, you don't send anymore assassins and the Cult will provide you and your acquaintances black leather suits, black leather rope, mouth "silencers", whips, and other objects used to restrain someone.
>>36703035In fact, would you like to become male, if only for as long as you're inside this guild? >>36702796It won't affect the laws of succession if we take away the whole department of magical affairs to a demiplane where time doesn't exist? Or would it?>>36703157If that means more deliciously moldly cheese I approve your regular entries. It's not like you really tried to hide after all.
>>36703210Ya see the problem with wizards is they always have the right spell on hand, so i don't even bother sneaking in anymore. I know care about gran entrances, have you seen my Santa Claus trick?
>>36703126I'm not trying to "piss" her. I'd still like her to be my teacher, even moreso now that I've coma to know her.>>36703210Outrageous!
>>36703157Fair enough I suppose. >>36703105Just say the word, I can humble her. It may or may not make an open enemy out of her however.
>>36703296"ANGER" HER, ITS A FIGURE OF SPEECH.
>>36703296Ah I get it... you just need to hide your preferences for royal decorum. Don't worry your highness, that kind of kink is somewhat prevalent in the entry level students.Ah, yes, I have something that you may like... this is a... whatchumacallit?[extracts from sleeve]Ah, an animated rope, very soft, very soft, yes.
>>36703327That won't be necessary Pierre.
>>36703327Also we Druids don't meet regularly so it's actually nice to talk to people now and then, even if it's just vile arcane abominations.
*steps out of the shadow he left behind earlier*Alright sorry about that, I am back.
>>36703398I can go with a milder approach, and just make her look human instead of like a surface elf? I'm sorry, I'm terrible with anything resembling an apprentice.
>>36703420Now you see why i always make sure to finish overseeing the decorations myself boy! How many times do you think this has happened in the last 700 years??? FOUR! FOUR TIMES! Don't let it happen again!
>>36703428I will never allow such a perverted intention, wizard.
>>36703456Fine, fine, calm down.
>>36703248I have not, but I bet it will be a most original and fun representation.Also tell archdruid Mazan that I would like to see returned my back massager; old lady is busy all the time tending to the planet's essence or something and may have forgotten that she was using my uncharged rod for that purpose.
>>36703475Good evening, Your Highness.
>>36703475So, I'm guessing you won't take me up on my offer?
>>36703493...I'm not sure if you want it back. Trust me, there are things even I need brain bleach for.
>>36703428I just want to mess with her a little, let's not do something that might lead to unfortunate consequences.>>36703475If you want to learn the basics of fire magic, you going to have to do what I say, besides I have other students to think about, you going around with THOSE would just distract them.
>>36703506Greetings. Your politeness is refreshing, since your comrades are insufferable at best.>>36703514I'll give them another try, than I'll consider it.
>>36703532>you going to have to do what I sayI'm going to obey even your slightest whim, my teacher.
>>36703530Oh... maybe you're right. She was so elated that I lended it to her in the first place... her muscles must be a mess if she needed one so desperately. Well it's good not to have a physical imprint anymore, I don't get tired anymore unless I want to be.
>>36703475Then bend some of that pride and start listening to her. You've yet to learn a single spell while you are here.
>>36703564Great, now bindings.
>>36703530Oh? You need brain bleach for that kind of paltry stuff? I live on the stuff of nightmares, you know. Technically, I AM a nightmare.
>>36703596Bind me thoroughly then...!
>>36703611...You know what we'll do this later.
>>36703598Old women sticking wands...somewhere aren't exactly my fetish, also she is really really old and she looks that way>>36703568Yeah she is very...relaxed thanks to it
>>36703543Try not to hold it against them, they mostly don't interact with non mages on a daily basis, so their viewpoints tend to lean a bit towards absurdity.
>>36703642I don't know what you were expecting. Also, she is entirely capable of producing a minor illusion to conceal her bust size, she was able to produce a full body double during her initial evaluation, albeit an imperfect one.
>>36703672I'd never lie to my teacher that way! I respect her way too much.
>>36703751We have recordings of your entire evaluation, not just the part where you blew yourself up.
>>36703773And why should it bother me?
>>36703806It includes the part where you made an illusory double of yourself.
>>36703751Look you know what don't worry, just apply them before you go to my class tomorrow, 9:00am sharp, we'll start with the basics then.
>>36703818It does not prove that I'm going to lie to my beloved teacher, though. Tee-hee...
>>36703936You act entirely too much like your mother.
>>36703932>>36703932As you wish, my teacher, I won't fail your expectations.>>36703968Wizard, I'd rather like to think you never actually said those words.
>>36703968Not nearly aggressively lesbian.
>>36703968She seems to act like a normal drow with a twist of high society upbringing to me.Then again, I have never actually met her infamous mother.
>>36704002And I'd rather like to think that you are going to stop acting like her. You can make your studies and quest for arcane power easier, or more difficult. The choice is entirely yours.>>36704003Give it a week, I'm sure she'll be more comfortable here by then.
I prefer the few drow that we have at the cult. Really nice people. They all share a dislike of spiders.
>>36704002Yes yes, just don't try anything with my students, as far as I'm concerned, even the first years are above you.Also don't mess with my personal apprentice, Samantha if you know what's good for you.
>>36704114are you sure those are drow and not just really tan elves?
>>36704121Well, I signed the blood oath already. We've been waiting on Steve, he got lost again.
>>36704136Yes, they're all a blueish-black color. One of them even looks to be a grey-blue.
>>36704183Interesting. I can honestly say, I have never met a drow who didn't like spiders.
>>36704121I'll be the most serious apprentice you ever had, fear not.>>36704110Do you suspect me to be yet another body double? She was my mother after all, as much as I despise her I still retain some of her personality and ways. Ara, ara, wizard, do you fear Jheska the Third this much that you see her shadow even in her enemies?
>>36704205Or that could be described as "really nice" for that matter...
>>36704241Don't be rude now...
>>36704225Fear? No. Been nursing a strong desire to see her screaming in pain? Most definitely. She betrayed all of us, you included. I would think that you would have more self respect than to imitate her.
>>36704225Dammit why are you so affectionate, shouldn't you be fuming over the indignity of me making you wear robes and bindings that hide your figure?
>>36704303Forgot my nametag.
So, how many members are there of the Mage's Guild currently?
>>36704331Too many that show up too infrequently to count.there's a 1d4chan page that lists some, but not all of us. hasn't been updated since it was made, pretty sure that was over a year ago.
>>36704293I'll just erase her existence from this plain, so that I'll be the only one to act this way. Also my grandmother acts the same way and she never betrayed me, so I'd like to think of her as my role model.>>36704303Should I? I've yet said I personally like you and respect your decisions. Besides, making the daughter of your enemy suffer is something I would do too. I'm not in BDSM, though. N-not even slightly.
Aetheric Breach sealed what did i miss?
>>36704352Ah, well, number wise the Cult of Changing Tides currently has 187,065,963 members.
>>36704392Yeah, sure.Sometimes, I think I really should've stayed in that orphanage and became a cleric.
>>36704575Your distrust truly hurts my feelings.
>>36704392Nine hells, I can't even imagine the family reunions. >>36704438A culinary disaster. I am positively mortified.
>>36704591Dare i ask what happened? Let me guess something with *sniffs* gingerbread?>>36704587Isn't Drow society built on mistrust and backstabbing?
>>36704624Yes. They ran out of the kitchen and began attacking a wyvern that I demonstrated the phantasmal agony spell on. Which was unfortunate, I wanted to see how long it would survive. It shat on my favorite coffee mug.
Dear lords, can we not have even a little bit of schedule for these things? When you just convene them at random times it is impossible to be punctual.
>>36704624I resent the possible implications of your statement.
>>36704653You do realize Mortimer will never pour coffee into it again right?>>36704661Hello Marus.>>36704668You also resemble them elfling.
>>36704681Hello Soros. How are things?
>>36704717Ah, Marus! I have that egg of Lolth you wanted.
>>36704681Outraging. Are you implying I'm backstabbing, roguish, power hungry and treacherous just the way my mother was?
>>36704706Sorry for your loss Pierre.>>36704717Just got back from sealing an Aetheric Breach. One of my students went of the deep end and tried to destroy the school. Shame too she was going to accept an oracular position in a week.>>36704751No, you might be good at it one day.
>>36704740Oooooh, let me see that!>>36704751Sounds about right, Drow are not the most intelligent of sorts either as I remember.>>36704786This student of yours possessed an astonishing lack of foresight, I have to say.
>>36704801When madness takes you, you can never be quite sure what you'll get. The scary ones are the ones who stay smart.
"Good afternoon everyone, what is going on?"
>>36704847>>36704866Just talking and coordinating for the holidays mostly, also getting t know the new apprentices of note.
Well, I need to go. I may or may not come back. Goodbye. *Exits through a mouth on the wall which disappears as soon as he is fully through*
>>36704846Oh come now, don't we all complete our greatest projects in the grip of madness?...Or is that just me?>>36704847>>36704866Krogrr, Brogrr.How are your studies coming along?
>>36704751Crazy does run in the family, and you were raised in a society that actively encourages such behavior. I mean its not like you actively resenting said lifestyle, considering how you accept humiliating and demeaning daughters of your foes so willingly.
>>36704846>>36704740>>36704706>>36704938>Ara, ara! What's going on, my precious pawns?>Oh, what a sight to behold, I'd never thought I'd get to see my beloved child again, how are you, Illyria? You took over my name, ohw, this is heart-warming, tee hee...
>>36704916There is a distinct difference between the madness born of creation and madness born of Chaos Marus. Trust me that the latter is not useful for a mage in the least and usually end very badly. The madness of creation you exhibit on you pet projects can be used constructively for gains.>>36704952Oh great a sending, Leave the kid alone witch. <starts a chant>
>>36704884"Oh, Radical! I love the holidays! which one's are coming up?">>36704916DUUUUUUDE! I SUMMONED A GIANT DEATH CLOUD!
>>36704952Oh goodie, you're finally here.>>36704938I've made some preparations, stand about two feet to your left>>36704884Forward three paces.
>>36704884"Oh, let me know if you need anything from me.">>36704916very well sir, I dismissed the storm elemental that my brother summoned on accident.
>>36704952Oh goody, its you again, Just when my natural hair color returned you show up just to infuriate me into having it turn purple again.
>>36704977Not always, I made this the other day and I have to admit I have NO IDEA what to do with it.>>36704987That's great! It's not still around is it?>>36705027Oh, good.>>36704952Who conjured the asthmatic grandmother voice?
>>36704988>>36705034It's a sending guys give a moment. <Continues second verse of chant>
>>36705068Yeah well, still not letting junior's wards down. Or Illyria's rather.
>>36705056"OH GOD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT"S EYES!?"
>>36705056*energy Tentacle passes a note which says* Good pets for nobles provided it isn't full of danger underneath the cute exterior.>>36705094*other tentacle passes a note* Duh<Chanting continues>
>>36704952Not you! It is not possibile! Go away! Stay away from me!
>>36705101Frankly, I don't know, but it appears to mesmerize schoolgirls with them. For what purposes I have yet to determine.>>36705108Well, that depends what constitutes danger..I mean, it's hostile to all forms of life except schoolgirls, but then again, it has no natural weapons to speak of.
>>36705113You're perfectly safe, Soros and I warded you the second you stepped into the testing room.
>>36705113Get behind me, Jheska.
>>36705108>Readies the agony spell.
>>36705108> No need for your chantig, I was just passing by to see my young lady. Oh, and dropping this. I bid you farewell~> a massive cube with inscriptions all over it appears into he hall
>>36705154"Whats wrong with the elf brat, head dude?"
>>36705203>Headbutts his brother"That's a women."
>>36705203Don't call me dude, apprentice.
>>36705228 Oh wow, when did Noel start dressing so conservatively?
Ok, so I figured out what the beastie did.That was the good news.The bad news are two-fold.1: I need to find something that can replace a half dozen teenage girls before nightfall.2: It mesmerizes them so it can lay eggs in their abdominal cavities, which then gestate and makes the gore go EVERYWHERE.Oh and I need a cleaning crew, I guess.
>>36705201Yeah, well, fuck you too. Can't run forever.>Casts Phantasmal horror directed at the sending's source.
>>36705251Shaddup, I'm still wearing a minidress underneath this thing.
>>36705147Nowhere to Hide, Nowhere to FleeFor now i have my eyes on theeNo shadow may guard No ward may protectNo justice has been done for the lives you wreckedVengeance's shadow fall upon your shadeYou are forever marked by the choices you made<Judgement's Call>Now she can't hide from us for long let's quarantine that cube.
>>36705228>still cowering in fear, grabbing hysterically at Noel's dress
>>36705301Jheska please calm down, you're going to tear it.
>Looks at the cube"Yo, you want me and Krogrr to move this some where?"
>>36705264Sell it to the assassins then. Good for getting at noble girls, or kill it whichever.>>36705276You missed if barely, still she won't find any succor and she can't hide now.>>36705301Calm yourself Little one. I destroyed your mother twice, she fears me. She'll come after me before you.>>36705353Let me scan it first, could be magiced or cursed or lord of judgement know hat.
>>36705338...please don't come near me, don't come near me, don't kill me, don't kill me, don't...
>>36705370I won't let that happen, I promise as your...Gaaaah.As your teacher.
>>36705285On it>>36705366It will find her, make no mistake.>>36705370I'll get a hot drink and a blanket.
>>36705366Hey, can I have the cube? For things.Ok this thing hatched from the girls. I think I'll keep it for now.
>>36705454Sterilize it please. Also let me scan the damn thing first!
>>36705370>gets started casting spells on themself's for when they move the cube.
>>36705396... Thank you>still shakingI'm deeply sorry I gave such a shameful display before you, wizards. I allowed myself to be overcome by fear and doubt, a sin no Chosen should ever commit, and one I will personally have to justify before blessed Lolth. Yet I have to thank you while I do apologize deeply for the trouble.
Man am I late. sorry everyone, here's your coffee
>>36705584Thank you, don't pour into Pierre's mug there Wyvern crap in it.>>36705582*just smirks*<Scanning the cube>
>>36705584>Holds his brother back back from the Coffee man.
>>36705582Don't worry about it, shit happens.Now will you ease up on my mantle already?
>>36705619Why do you hold your brother back?>>36705614I'm not even going to question that
>>36705584>STRUGGLES TO GET AT THE COFFEE!"DUDE, LET GO OF ME, I MUST HAVE IT! I NEED IT! I NEED IT!
>>36705643It involves living Gingerbread apparently.<continues the scan>
>>36705487Why would I sterilize it? This is fascinating!>>36705584Oh merciful gods, thank you Mortimer.
>>36705689Lawsuits and legal action, study the damn thing before you let it breed anymore.<Scanning Continues>
>>36705584Much appreciated. >>36705682Caffeine is absolutely the last thing you need, apprentice.
>>36705684Time to start spiking my coffee again then>>36705689Your welcome
>>36705643"This is why!">headbutts his brother with a hold person spell.
>>36705201Okay. NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY, touch that cube. Not until I figure out why looking at it is sending chills down my spine.>>36705582Are you done grieving, princess? Because I'm not in the mood right now.>>36705633Hiya teach. Sorry I'm late, was asking around about this marble I found earlier. Magical girl artifact, remember?
>>36705643A wyvern crapped in it. Its corpse is in the corner.>>36705582You don't have to apologize for being afraid. I am sorry that I compared you to her.
>>36705739I hope that the sandwiches I provided were found to be tastylooks like I will be gone fir a bit, dinners ready
>>36705739Sam, please, ease up on Jheska for the moment. If only this once.Now as for this marble, you said something about it being somehow related to me or something?
>>36705721Oh, right.. I guess I shouldn't have put them in the garden then..>>36705757Drag the wyvern to my lab, I need more protein slurry.
>>36705739How the investigation going? Also i'm not touching the cube until i finish my scans, Jheska III dropped it off. <starts weaving wards around the cube>
>>36705721>cube starts humming and emitting a purple light.>"Planar binding: completed. Spell resistance: applied. The engine will decommission the area in - five minutes"
oh and when this thread ends, will there be a new one after it?
>>36705721HAH! The horror found her, got her bodyguard. Oh, you should see the look on her face.
>>36705791"Uhhhhh Should we get carry that out of the area?"
>>36705739Oh, by the way, if you see anything so cute it stops you in your tracks.. Kill it.>>36705791Ugh, let me get my spell casting hat.>>36705800I hope so, I arrived way too late
>>36705791EVACUATE NOW>>36705739>A small voice states calmly: "Failsafe activated, please enjoy your stay at Chateau d'Pierre!"
>>36705800>"The area will be decommissioned in -four minutes" It depends. I absolutely love what you are doing with the apprentice/s though
>>36705791Oh Dear i was afraid of that. Pierre i'm going to due something stupid have that contingency we talked about ready.<Chains of Order break apart let the Chaos of Creation run Free> *dices onto the cube*>>36705825>825 ▶>>>36705791Too late.<Amorphous Detonation>
>>36705854 THANKS! I think I like them better then Dr.Stabby.>>36705873"you sure? we could probably get it out of the area, maybe to an abando- Oh that's a neat spell!"
>>36705873>Cube's surface starts crackling with sparks. "the area will be decommissioned in - three minutes"
>>36705922*the resulting Chaos of the detonation eats away at the cube and the surrounding area dissolving it it raw Amorphia. Soros' body is gone>
>>36705922>Grabs a small black bag, begins transporting as many guild members as possible>>36705873IT WILL HAVE TO WAIT>>36705582YOU'RE COMING TOO DAMNIT
>>36705953Alright everyone I'm back!Wait what in the nine hells?So this may be a bit late, but I have backup bodies of everyone down in the basement if you need them, Soros may or may not have known that.
>>36705959Eh... ehi, that's rude, that's not the proper way to OHW!... WIzards?What happened to the hall?
>>36705953Turns out dinners not quite ready... The fuck?
>>36705776>>36705790Not quite related to you Noel, but it appears to bestow some rather impressive pyromantic abilities. It also appears to be waiting for some outside command to activate.>>36705791>>36705854>>36705922shitshitshitshitshit>>36705992BAILING! NOW!*a small jewel shatters as Samantha teleports out of the guildhall with the princess*
>>36705959>Shouts "I don't want to go in the bag!" as he and his brother are stuffed in the bag
>>36705992Send a message to your bodyguards so that they know we've been attacked, you've been moved to a safehouse.>>36705975>YOINK>>36705912>ZIP>>36705776>POP>>36705735BOOP
>>36706038*wretches*This is why I hate teleporting
>>36705953>The cube and much of the area around it are rendered down to raw chaos which is eating away at anything it touches slowly expanding. The Sea suddenly stops.< HAHAHAHAHa oh that goody goody sacrificed himself to save this pissant little guild. Didn't he realize i'd just get loose and finish the job? * the sea of chaotic energy slowly starts flowing inward*
Well...I think I got everyone. If you haven't been here before, welcome to Chateau d'Pierre. Someone needs to scry the guild hall so we can figure out what in the nine hells is going on.
>>36706038>>36706086Well that was disorienting.I suppose I can practice my magic as long as I don't have my lab.Oh, yes, scrying spell. Let's do this! *cracks knuckles and starts chanting*
>>36706086As you wish. What is going to happen now? Are we safe here?
>>36706109Alright, alright>>36706083Good thing I knicked a link from those chains of his, and one of anfarthon's fingers that night we don't talk about. This one to be exact>waggles left pinky.Someone else cut it off, I'm squeamish about this sort of thing.
>>36706152Now, I get you all to help me with this backup plan that I couldn't ever formulate properly, lest soros discover it. Got a link from the chains that kept his disease in check, and a finger of a being of law and order. Should be spell components enough.
>>36706083Oh dear, this doesn't look good. Reggy, be a dear and fetch the old chap, would you?
>>36706173Ok, it's a bit spotty but I managed to get the scrying to work, just kick the manifestation if it starts to get static-y>>36706173>>36706202I can have him walking again in a week if you have a chemistry set.
>>36706173... I should cut off your pinky?
>>36706214What in the hell, how are you not here in person when I need a finger amputated?
>>36706214Way ahead of you, pumpkin. Hold down the fort while I'm gone! okay I guess I just figured out who trips work
>>36706233Yes, just do it. It's not mine anyways, I just figured I might need an empyrean's finger at some point.
>>36706083Flows inwards into the vague approximation of a humanoid. 10 feet tall bat winged, taloned feet,muscular with pale blue skins and eye that are every color a mortal mind can conceive and hundred that aren't. "Ah Freedom, being stuck in a corporeal body isn't ideal but it will do. Now where is everyone? Time for some fun!
>>36706268Oh for the love of...>>36706233DO IT ALREADY DAMN YOU
I leave for 5 minutes and the Chaos energies of this room are off the charts! What in the 42 Realms have you people been up to?
>>36706268A shadows unsticks it's self from the wall and walks over to ??? "I say! you can't just go walking about in the buff. Put some closes on before you meet the others!"
So, according to this there's a thing in the guild, does anyone mind me remote detonating my grey goo matter annihilators?Speak up, now.>>36706312Oh you baby, let me do it.There.
>>36706259> unsheathes a sacrificial dagger>>36706312Don't yell, this kind of things needs concentration! >cuts the finger
>>36706312Ah there you are!>>36706325*Hand grabs the shade and squeezes* Ooh Shade! yummy!>>36706312>>36706329>>36706331Now where were you again let me see..... AH HA! *teleports outside the restaurant.*
>>36706331FUCKING HELLS>casts the transmutation spell to its empyrean formB̕on̵e̛s͘ ̶of͢ o͞r̛d̛e҉r̢̡T̶ime g͝r̷ow͡s͘ ͜s̶ho͡rter͡Bin̕d͝ ͡ch҉aos͏' ̛h̷o͝r͝des͘Le̛t͞ ͡li̶g̶ht̢ ͝com͡e fo͟rt͏h!̨
>>36706370"What a-" No idea what you're doing but describe it, yo!
*Enchantment of infinite catalepsis explodes forth*That was fun, haven't done that since I was experimenting with ætheric reproduction.Should keep any chaos being locked in place for the foreseeable future. Did anyone bring a scalpel?
>>36706372*to return it to its empyrean form
>>36706372Oh this again *reaches out* Funny thing is i cribbed your buddies Spelleye. I can block that spell now. <Magical severance>*cast with one hand while squeezing the shade in the other and biting into it*
>>36706455>A dozen doubles drop invisibility spells and begin chanting, each appears to hold the spell components as they scatter in different directions.A͞͏̢͘n̸̨̧͢d́͢͝͝͡ ̵̢͜҉̢s̶̀́͘͡o̴̡ ͏̵͢ỳ̛͞o͟͝͠͞ų̵͢ ̷̵̶͢͠ś̢ȩ̵͟͜͝e҉̧̧͘k̵̛͝҉͘ ̀́t̕͘̕͢h̸̢̛e̷̛͟͟ ̧͟ȩ̷̵͝͝n̸̷͠͝ḑ̀͟͠͝ ̛̀ò̸͜n͜͠c̸҉̵̕e̸̵̢͡ ̶̶̀̕a̸̡̛͝g̨͜͞a̢̛͢i̴̢͜҉͠ń̡͟҉͢͏Ţ̵̴̴h̡̧͘e͢͜͞͝ ́́͞e̷̕n̵͟d̸͘ ̛̀i҉̴͞s̸̢͢͝͏ ͘͟͠͡n̷͜͞o̴͠t̷̢h̷̵̵̀͞í̶̸̧͡ņ̵̡̡̕ǵ̶̡ ̸̡͟͠b͏͠͏ȩ͞f͘͞o̴͡r̶̛͘e҉̵̷͡ ̶̴̷͜ţ̷͟h̴ȩ͝͡ ́́͟ş̸̛͏ȩ̕҉͜ç̡r̢̡̨͢ę̷̵t̵̀͏͜s̸̡̀́ ̧̀t̕͟h̴̡͡a҉͡͡t̵̴̀͠͞ ̛̀͢r̴̨͘͞҉e̡͘m̵̷̡a̵̵̷i̷̧ǹ̶̴̶̨̛́͜͝B̀͟͏e̵̷̴ ̶̡̢͟͠b̶̸̀o҉̨̀́ù̸̡҉̧n̕͏͠͞d͏ ̡͟͢b̵̧͜͟͝y͏̛ ̶͢͟b̷̢͜͡ĺ̴͘o͝͠ò̴̴͝͡d̷̵̡͟ ̶̵̛́a͘͞n̷͝҉͟d̕͠ ̢͟͡i̵̛͝͞r̀͘ơ͡͏̀n̛͘ ̵̀́o̵҉̴̧n҉̕c̸̀͠͠e̷̷̡͞͏ ͜͢͢m͏̴͡o͢͞r̨͢ȩ̸̶̸̷̡͟͟͠͞C̸̨ą̶͟͝s͠t͏̶͏҉͝ ͏̢̨̛͏ǫ̧͝͠u̵̧͘͠t̶̡́̕͝ ̴t҉h̴̵̀̕ȩ̨̀ ͞͡t͠҉̵̡a̴̸ì͏͜n̵̨͝t̸̕͞ ̸̸̕͜f̶́͜͜o̷͜͢͝͞r̴͠͡e̴͘͜͝͡v̷̡͟͢͞e͘͞҉r҉̕m̷̧͏̷͝ò̀̕r̵̷̷͢͜e̢̛!̧͟͝
>>36706455Blessed Lolth! I've never seen anything like this.Yet I guess it is my duty to oppose it, noblesse oblige, I think it is called.>Banishment!
>the faint sound of a jackhammer can be heard.
>>36706545Oh no. If that is who i think it is, well, prepare for headaches
>>36706455>More doubles standing in a circle around a collection of artifacts manifested by Soros' disease let loose the cosmic level redaction spell prepared for this situation, directed at the knowledge required to utilize the spelleye
>>36706575What is it then? Speak!>>36706455>Hellfire ray!
>>36706575Im confused, who is it? Please tell me its not the Chaos Gods again, I dont have the patience to deal with Tzeetch's damn riddles right now
>>36706496Spelleye Spelleye, i see the magic and you all die! *drops the remains of the shade*>>36706515<Blinking Strike!> *half of the clones are rips to shreds as i appear on the other side of the field*<Chaos incantation> *spell starts warping againstintended function*>>36706535*laughs* You think you can stop me with THAT? You are so much like that bitch mother of yours, arrogant to a fault. Never understood why that goody goody never killed her.>>36706545Oh Ho this sounds fun!>>36706606HAHA FUN!>>36706628*eats the spell* Thanks!
>>36706638It's Soros' thrice damned chaos taint!
>>36706642Yes yes, very entertaining. Care for a spot of tea? I grow my own.And put that down will you? It's very rude.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>36706642Only one option left >ball shot
>The ground starts to crack and shake. Soon the faint sound of the jackhammer is that of a low roar but even over it it is the sound of someone shouting a lot of profanities and the word "OW"
>>36706653Wait, only thrice? That seems awfully low for Soros...
>>36706653Hit me with you best shot! Come on! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!>>36706679*tail grows and lashes out, its balded at the tip*>>36706688*no genitalia* Nice try kid Boop! *hits Mortimer with a two fingered poke and send him flying*>>36706700Come on , Get here!
>>36706642>The illusion covering the original double grasped by the beast begins flickering and twitching, the grin plastered on its face growing improbably wide
>>36706748Ara ara, so this is it? Soros' chaos taint is surely more appealing than his former self... What about having a little job interview, big guy?
>>36706748>Lightning cracks across the sky but the thunder is drowned out by the sound of the jackhammer and the repeated "OW" that seems to follow it
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>36706748*gets out of rubble* ow. Let's try this>kneeshot
>>36706748Do you really think you're the first thing to attempt cutting me to ribbons? Now sit down and have some tea.
>>36706783>One of the doubles shimmers, and is replaced by a phantasmal horror that begins charging Jheska.>>36706748The illusion flickers with greater frequency
>>36706783So you're that knife eared bitch that drove the goody goody to distraction? hm? Why would i work with someone as pathetically weak as you?>>36706806Suddenly all the luster is lost, pity.>>36706813*Knee turns into a maw and bites down*>>36706816*Bladed tail keeps striking at Marus*>>36706828Oh come on You twit i'm standing here in the middle of you all. Hit ME! Come on i'm getting bored here.
>>36706876Oh honestly, you ruined my good robe. And there's no point in doing that.I decided that instant regeneration would be useful long ago.Stop acting like a spoiled child.
>>36706828Oh you, stop bothering, I got business here>casts Black Tentacles.>>36706876Who knows? I may have knowledge of power you never heard of before. I may not. Why don't you give me a try?
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>36706876You bit my club in half. That was git from my mother you ass!>headbutt
>>36706876>the illusion finally fails, revealing a series of potions, half of which seem to be glowing with empyrean essence. The potions fall to the ground and shatter, the components mixing together and opening a portal to a plane of elemental order. Pure order and laware expelled outwards in a massive gout of golden flame.