>Archive links:http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20QuestTwitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuestYou are Urist Twelfthbay, a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. Since you're a dwarf (and/or THE Dwarf Fortress), you're also fond of violence, insanity, and severe alcoholism. This doesn't mesh too well with the fact that you're a moe personification, which dictates that you're supposed to be cutesy and girly and entirely too beardless for your own peace of mind.You deal with /that/ by being as violent, irritable, and un-cutesy as possible. The day you fit right in with Gamindustri's uguu kawaii atmosphere is the day your soul will wither up and die.... of course, you never really thought that you'd see one of Gamindustri's most experienced adventurers, an uguu kawaii swordswoman who's cutesy and airheaded and trying to collect little sister figures, snap so hard that she's currently inches away from brutally murdering a defenseless cultist.Said defenseless cultist is apparently also a dumb bastard, since he actually laughs- LAUGHS, with blood dribbling down his chin and his ribs probably broken. He also feebly struggles against Ester's shield currently pinning him against a rock-hard mushroom stalk, even with a sword to his throat. "I-I know you won't kill me. You'll get nothing. Our lady A-Arfoire will-"(Cont.)
>>36148632The cultist is cut off with a gasp as the sword slams into the mushroom stalk, slicing his throat- no, SEEMING to cut his throat, you correct to yourself. It's just a small flesh wound, nothing more.There's no guarantee that it'll stay that way, though, since Ester appears to be beyond caring. "Arfoire will /what/?" she hisses, her green eyes narrowed. "Go on. Keep talking, damn you!" Her voice rises to a yell, and she leans in further, her sword hand rocking dangerously.Almost distantly, you hear the second cultist- the one curled up in a fetal position- moan in absolute terror.>[X] [ASSIST] her interrogation!You quickly step in, putting a hand on Ester's arm. She's tense enough that it's a pretty ballsy move to make, but to her credit (and your relief), the Dragon Warrior doesn't snap at you or try to slice you from head to groin, but merely glances at you from the corner of her eyes. With some effort, you ignore her ridiculously intense gaze, focusing on the pinned cultist with a feigned nonchalance that you don't feel one bit.How do you want to play this?[ ] [GOOD COP] Try to convince the cultist that he's walking a tightrope here, that it's in HIS best interests to speak up, and play up Ester's rage. Pray that Ester will get the hint.[ ] [WORSE COP] Take over from here and beat him up a bit. Ester's got a reputation to uphold, and you don't. You're used to being the violent one.[ ] [MURDER COP] Kill the pinned cultist, and focus on the second cultist, the one who's frightened. A little spilled blood will make him squeal like a pig, you're sure of it.[ ] [HUMANE COP] Convince Ester to keep the pinned cultist alive, and grill the second cultist. No deaths are necessary; he's already terrified out of his mind, he'll tell you all you need to know.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
FUCK YES! I AM ALL CAUGHT UP NOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE FUCKIN PRIEST WHO BE MESSING WITH OUR CUBE LOOT!
[X] [WORSE COP] Take over from here and beat him up a bit. Ester's got a reputation to uphold, and you don't. You're used to being the violent one.
>>36148642[x] WORSE COP because if these fucks are bad enough to make esther freak out then they are ak ok to beat the fuck out of
>>36148632STATS:>EQUIPMENT- Liquid Metal Fists: +2 to fisty melee attack rolls, among other things.- Crossbow: Ranged attack. No bonus.- Iron Armor: +1 to defense rolls.>ITEMS:- This Thing: A futuristic thing you picked up. No clue what it does.- Red Rock: According to Moru, it smells weird. No clue what it does.>ABILITIES:- DFHack: Hotfixed ammo issues and currency use.
>>36148642>[ ] [WORSE COP] Take over from here and beat him up a bit. Ester's got a reputation to uphold, and you don't. You're used to being the violent one.Channel some hammerer
>>36148642[x] [GOOD COP]
>>36148642>[ ] [WORSE COP] Take over from here and beat him up a bit. Ester's got a reputation to uphold, and you don't. You're used to being the violent one.>[ ] [CAT COP] Meanwhile, hopefully Moru takes a hint to interrogate the second cultist. You know, to speak up for the sake of his friend here.
>>36148642>[ ] [WORSE COP] Take over from here and beat him up a bit. Ester's got a reputation to uphold, and you don't. You're used to being the violent one.Nothing like getting beat up by a small, moe, inebriated dwarf girl to make one ask themselves "Is this really worth it?"
>>36148642>Urist- [WORSE COP]>Moru- [GOOD KITTY...COP]
>>36148876we probably should have said that to her before walking up and interrupting.
>>36148642>[x] [WORSE COP] Take over from here and beat him up a bit. Ester's got a reputation to uphold, and you don't. You're used to being the violent one.
>>36148642>[X ] [WRITE-IN]Ask Ester if there is a clean site we can use. If there is, let them stew for a couple of days. Time is the interrogators best tool.
>>36148642>[WORST BEER COP] Make him drink some from your supply of bewerage and look at how long he'll last.
>>36149226No anon, don't kill them.
>>36149226>Waste our high quality and expensive precious beer on theseNOPE!
>>36149280>>36149308Oh come on, what could possibly go wrong?
>>36149352He drinks our precious beer and we have less of it
>>36149226thats like capturing a goblin and forcing him to drink sweet sweet dqarven liquid gold as torture.....
>>36149402Hmm, didn't work...+right-click - save - New Reply - Browse+
>>36149402epic tags bro
>>36149442Nice art faggot
>>36149442I just realized once again that Urist is a BEARDLESS dwarf> how horrifying.jpg
>>36149442Damn. That looks great. We may not have a beard, but that braided hair seems pretty dwarfish to me
>>36149442Looks shopped. It occurs to me that she looks like a halfling. How horrifying.
>>36149442>>36149402Haha holy shit, that's awesome and you're awesome for posting it. THANK YOU, glorious driveby drawfag!
>>36149442Okay.Now do one with our new armour.
>>36149571That's what happens when you're a dorf with no beard.
>>36149502>>36149571The horror. The shame. -URIST CHUGS HER BEER-
>>36149539She could turn it into a truly terrifying weapon by turning that mane into a drill hair arrangement. BUt braided hair is just more... dwarven.
>>36149442also>that mismatched right foot
>>36149539It definitely helps
>>36148642>[X] [WORSE COP]>[X] [.... CAT COP]First things first, you need to get Ester to back off a little. Steeling yourself, you meet the Dragon Warrior's gaze, channeling as much dwarven stubbornness as you possibly can. Ester, come on, she's got to listen to you- the dumbass cultist is a smug asshole who's got what's coming to him, but he's right about this one thing: she can't do this. She's got to put her sword down.Ester's shaking her head before you even finish, her rage giving away to something approaching desperation. "Urist- no, you don't understand, I /have/ to do this-!" she nearly wails.No, she really, really doesn't. See, the guy's pretty much broken, and he sure as hell isn't going anywhere, so. After a moment to steel yourself further, you swallow your pride and man up to force the words out of your mouth: c'mon, this is the sort of stuff that l... little sisters've got to shoulder, right? Big sis Ester?... your mildly cutesy grin is more like a rictus of reluctantly gritted teeth, but it's almost a little worrying how much that moves Ester, whose eyes go from DARK AND BROODING to her usual wide and innocent gaze, complete with flustered blinking. "Heh!? W-Well, haha, when you put it that way, I guess I've got no choice, huh...?" She swiftly steps back, her sword still pointed at the cultist (who immediately slides to the ground with a pained whimper). "Big sis'll make sure he won't escape."Nah. There'll be no need for that."Huh? But..."(cont.)
>>36149846You step forward and hoist the cultist up by the collar of his silly purple robe. It doesn't lift him up very /high/ since you're not the tallest girl in town and he's a goddamn beanpole; his legs are still dragging along the ground, not to mention his knees. He's basically kneeling. The horse-faced cultist seems to grasp the absurdity of the situation, finding it in himself to laugh derisively. Maybe he's riding high since he's just been saved from a horrible swordy death. "Hah... w-what do you think you're gonna do to me, little girl? I've- ah- I've already been hurt..."You put on a show of humming thoughtfully, flexing your fingers and savoring this moment, this calm before the storm. Well, if it's alright with him, you're going to help him relieve some stress."W-What are you-"His eyes widen as you cock your fist back, but it's far too late; you put all your weight behind your gauntleted fist, which slams right into his jaw with a sickening crack and a spray of little white shards. For the second time in one day, you've just knocked out a mouthful of teeth.You do your best to talk over the cultist's keening, blubbering screech of pain. See, wasn't that therapeutic? Now he won't have to worry about little things like teeth-brushing or the specter of cavities, or wait 'til old age rolls around to lose 'em. Still, looking into the bloody mess that's his mouth, it seems like you've missed a few of those pesky teeth. If he'll just bear with you for one second, you can take them out, too-"N-No! Stop! Pleaf, I-I'll tell you anyfing-"(cont.)
>>36149864Yeah, he's pretty much completely cracked, and spills the beans post haste. It takes a little while to get through his panicked blubbering and decipher his toothless speech, but you manage to piece together his words (even if his teeth are a lost cause). From the sound of it, it's... pretty much going to be a PR nightmare, because the hapless cultist and his equally hapless friend are nothing more than amateur, gather-in-the-basement type of wannabe cultist who wanted to be ~special~ and ~secretive~ and ~edgy as fuck~ without actually sacrificing goats and painting blood circles. Hell, even their robes are nothing more than dollar shop knockoffs of the shit they read up on in the library.You frown and chew your lip thoughtfully before turning to Moru, who's staring at this whole proceeding like she's not sure whether to run away or be mildly sick or both at once. Could she do you a favor and check on that with the cultist who isn't currently... uh, broken in about fifty places at once?The catgirl does so as fast as she can, and cultist #2 pretty much confirms the story, with a LOT more whining and "don't kill me!" and "at least let me keep my teeeeeth!" sprinkled in, and you kind of have to stop him from waxing on about long nights spent sewing old drapes into robes while drinking soda.He DOES add something that might be the only thing saving Ester (and you, by extension) from going to the slammer: a few nights ago, him and Bob over there were mailed a mysterious box and kit from an unknown person. It boils down to an official Arfoire fanclub gift box, with a form letter and a few bromides and- and here's the kicker- a whole shitload of weirdo tools, ranging from conventional power drills to arcane discombobulamatories, and instructions to go out and pry some treasure cubes out of the ground for the good of The Cause.(Cont.)
>>36149887You pluck a broken tooth from the battered cultist's mouth, eliciting another whimper of pain. At least he's not evangelizing anymore. So... he's SURE he doesn't have a name or a return address or anything?"N-No! Really! I promise!!"And he'll tell you where you can get that box that was sent to their little amateur cultist basement?"Yes! Of course, anything! Just... let me keep my teeth!" he wails.... right. Well then. You've got some treasure cubes to loot, so you'd better figure out what to do with Cultist McNo-Solid-Meals-From-Now-On and Cultist McPissedhispants.[ ] [KILL THEM] Welp, dead cultists tell no tales. Blanc shouldn't know about how Ester went all police brutality on these guys.[ ] [KEEP THEM] Drag them back to Lowee, because Blanc really should know about this and adding more murder to your tickets can't be good.[ ] [SET THEM FREE] Well, you basically put the fear of little girls in them, so they won't be hurting ANYONE any more. Not that they were in the first place, really.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
[X] [KEEP THEM] Drag them back to Lowee, because Blanc really should know about this and adding more murder to your tickets can't be good.
>>36149912>[ ] [KEEP THEM]I'm sure she knows how to handle a press blackout.
>>36149912>[x] [SET THEM FREE] Well, you basically put the fear of little girls in them, so they won't be hurting ANYONE any more. Not that they were in the first place, really.
>>36149912>[ ] [KEEP THEM] Drag them back to Lowee, because Blanc really should know about this and adding more murder to your tickets can't be good.And get Ester to heal him, listening to him whinge all the way back will get annoying.
>>36149912>[ ] [KEEP THEM] Drag them back to Lowee, because Blanc really should know about this and adding more murder to your tickets can't be good.
>>36149912>[x] [KEEP THEM] Drag them back to Lowee, because Blanc really should know about this and adding more murder to your tickets can't be good.Besides, there might be a bounty for them. Money, money, money.
>>36149912>[X] [KEEP THEM] Drag them back to Lowee, because Blanc really should know about this and adding more murder to your tickets can't be good.Urist the Teethbreaker!Also, is Urist McNeo mode something that can be acessed in the future?
>>36150014Urist McNeo? You're... going to have to elaborate on that a bit, anon!
>>36150053In the Bay12 forums I remember a story.Not sure if real, but according to the thread a kid dodged attacks from 3 [REDACTED] for 2 seasons until he starved to death.So yeah, Urist McNeo Mode.
>>36149912>[ ] [KEEP THEM] Drag them back to Lowee, because Blanc really should know about this and adding more murder to your tickets can't be good.Yo mine now bitches
>>36149939If she uses her heal... Do the teeth come back cause magic?
>>36149912>[X] [KEEP THEM]With a weary sigh, you drop the beaten-up cultist like a sack of bloody, toothless potatoes. As tempting as it would be to just straight up reduce these schmucks to carp food and brush all this under the rug, you're a card-carrying Guild member now, and you're pretty sure that brutal murder isn't exactly sanctioned behavior. More importantly, the Dragon Warrior, hero of Lowee and basically a national artifact all in her own right, probably shouldn't be chopping up bodies OR hanging around with beardless dwarves who chop up bodies.Now... you turn to look back over your shoulder. The skirted swordswoman is staring at you with a truly impenetrable expression, looking for all the world like she's carved out of stone, and you can't help but notice how her usually immaculate clothing's rumpled, and the blood stands out sharply against all that blue. You snap her out of her funk with an indirect question. Y'know, because if Ester could heal this guy up enough that he won't die of blood loss and/or perforated lungs, that'd be great, 'cause you're dragging their sorry asses back to Lowee for Blanc and/or the local authorities to deal with."R... right! I'm on it! Legendarily... uh, on it!" She bustles past you; soon enough, you hear the telltale digitalized beep-bloops of her uniquely old-school magic going off. You doubt it'll do anything for his teeth, though.(Cont.)
>>36150286If not we can jam them in his gums and the magic might fix them up
>>36150328Moru's got your attention, though, because the fur's standing up on her tail, and her ears are doing that flattened-against-her-head thing again. You step over toward her and reach out, intending to ask how she's holding up-And she flinches away from you, her eyes wide. That's... huh. That's cold. Even though you realize that your gauntlets are sort of horrifically bloody and really can't blame her, you're surprised that a part of you feels pretty damn lousy.[ ] [APOLOGIZE] Sorry she had to see that. It'll be fine, you're not going to make a habit of fucking brutalizing everyone you come across or anything. Probably.[ ] [CONFRONT] Is she seriously going to have a problem with this? You're a dwarf, and it's in your blood to do horrifically violent things to your enemies.[ ] [IGNORE] ... you're not dealing with this right now. You have booze and treasure cubes to deal with.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>36150346>[ ] [APOLOGIZE] Sorry she had to see that. It'll be fine, you're not going to make a habit of fucking brutalizing everyone you come across or anything. Probably.
>>36150346>[X] [APOLOGIZE] Sorry she had to see that. It'll be fine, you're not going to make a habit of fucking brutalizing everyone you come across or anything. Probably.
[X] [APOLOGIZE] Sorry she had to see that. It'll be fine, you're not going to make a habit of fucking brutalizing everyone you come across or anything. Probably.
>>36150346>[ ] [IGNORE] ... you're not dealing with this right now. You have booze and treasure cubes to deal with.Pout and try not to cry, dwarves don't cry
>>36150346>[ ] [APOLOGIZE] Sorry she had to see that. It'll be fine, you're not going to make a habit of fucking brutalizing everyone you come across or anything. Probably.BUT ALSO>[ ] [JUSTIFY] If you hadn't acted quickly, Ester might have done something... worse.
>[X] [APOLOGIZE] Sorry she had to see that. It'll be fine, you're not going to make a habit of fucking brutalizing everyone you come across or anything. Probably.Well, mostly on monsters or Evil NPCs, but with the kind of plot that Ester might be hanging around with...
>>36150346About the chest, do we all get one or is there just one and we have to rock paper scissors for it?
>>36150197It's within the realm of possibility!>>36150554Each participating adventurer gets one.For all its flaws and weird Japanese-isms, this setting's Gamindustri's pretty user-friendly about some things.
>>36150587...wait, so what did Ester get when we first met her?
>>36150621Absolutely nothing! She didn't actually step up to the treasure cube(s), and said she was there to 'pay her respects.'She DID pick up the Sharicite, but that wasn't part of the loot system.
>>36150690The best of treasures
>>36150621>>36150660She likely has what is effectively her epic uber armor from whatever game she wants, along with any unlocks she wants.She has after all been doing this for 30 years.I would not be surprised if when it suddenly gets hard and she goes all out she suddenly pulls out a party swap for a group of monsters, followed by more monsters swapping from the wagon, ect.Console JRPG's, no modding, games have largely been very consistent as far as mechanics throughout.>>36150690She now collects little sisters.
>>36150660I'm disappointed. I half-expected you to say that It's A Secret~, and have her give it to us as a present in the Christmas Special.
>>36150895>Christmas SpecialShit, you just reminded me that I won't be able to quest at or around Christmas unless I keep the threads ridiculously short......... and you've got me trying to think up ideas for a Christmas Special, period.
>>36150977Just steal Evil Robot Santa from Futurama.
>>36150977>and you've got me trying to think up ideas for a Christmas Special, period.Well now you have to do it
>>36150977keikaku as pranned
>>36151009Nah, Dorf Fort xmas is of course Satan Claws, the forgotten beast. Beware of his girth and jolly laugh.
>>36150977>The fortress is all ready for the holidays!>But oh no! We have no tree for the fortress grounds!>Can Urist and friends find the biggest tree in all of Gamindustri before it's too late?!
>>36150346>[X] [APOLOGJUSTIFY]You realize that your hand was kind of hovering in place for a few seconds too long, and awkwardly turn the motion into crossed arms, ignoring how you're smearing blood on yourself. Friends (or at least adventuring buddies of convenience) aren't exactly plentiful where you usually hang out, so you purse your lips and force yourself to not just snap at her or ignore her.Still, it's a little hard to meet Moru's eyes, but you do your best to... well, to apologize. She didn't have to see that. And- and it's not like you're going to brutalize EVERY motherfucking thing you see, right? Only assholes who deserve it. And if you didn't stop Ester-Moru cuts you off. "It's fine!" she snaps, baring her fanged teeth a little. She takes a breath, her ears coming back up to half-mast. "It's fine. I just- I just don't get you, Urist! You say you're a city builder, but you're so /violent/. You knocked out their teeth like it's second nature to you..."She trails off, hugging herself uncomfortably and glancing away. "No. It's fine."... you're not sure now's the best time to mention that HER entire motif seems to be the brutal murdering of large, possibly innocent monsters. Hell, you're pretty sure this is going to be NOT fine if she flips out every time you do dwarfy things, but you swallow that for the moment and simply nod, turning back toward the rewards waiting for you. Let's just do what you came here to do, alright?(Cont.)
>>36151249Once the three of you hogtie the cultists (seems that Moru's pretty damn good with ropes, given her line of work), you walk toward the back of the room, where the treasure cubes float serenely; Ester takes the middle position, while you and Moru stand to either side of her.It's always a momentous occasion for someone like you, since you aren't exactly swimming in power-ups and cool things, and you're half-expecting the three of you to stand there and bathe in the treasures' weird digital light for a few moments. YOU fully plan to do so, grinning despite your best efforts not to be all bullshittingly cutesy. Instead, Moru grabs hers with almost unseemly haste, taking only a second to make her choice; beside you, Ester simply reaches out, unhurried and maybe a little distractedly.... well, alright, some weird and violent shit DID go down, but they don't have to be such gigantic killjoys about it. You sigh and take the cube between your hands as well- and are presented with a choice.[ ] [BUG TRACKER] It's that mantis emblem you saw last time, that small thingamabob that just about fits in your palm. Between this and DFHack, you ought to be able to iron out the worst of YOUR problems, and maybe identify issues in adventurers other than yourself.[ ] [NANO EMBARK] This appears to be the smallest mining pick in the world. On a keychain, like something you'd clip to your damn phone. It's pretty powerful, though, containing the secret to building things in a... more /compact/ fashion.[ ] [CREATURE TOKENS] Seven random metal tags with arcane words of power embedded on their surfaces. You sense that they'd be good for one use each, and would confer a powerful (but temporary) attribute to you when plugged into DFHack, but... that's the thing, innit? 'Random.'
>>36150346Hmm we should [APOLOGIZE] but we do need to explain that some times these kinds of things happen, you are a dwarf and at times there are faces that need to be brutulized and your fist are made for that job
>>36151268[ ] [BUG TRACKER] It's that mantis emblem you saw last time, that small thingamabob that just about fits in your palm. Between this and DFHack, you ought to be able to iron out the worst of YOUR problems, and maybe identify issues in adventurers other than yourself.YesYESYESSSSSSSSSSSSS
>>36151268[ ] [BUG TRACKER] It's that mantis emblem you saw last time, that small thingamabob that just about fits in your palm. Between this and DFHack, you ought to be able to iron out the worst of YOUR problems, and maybe identify issues in adventurers other than yourself.Need to be patched before we crash
>>36151268>[ ] [BUG TRACKER]Like we were ever going to pick something else.
>>36151268>[ ] [BUG TRACKER] It's that mantis emblem you saw last time, that small thingamabob that just about fits in your palm. Between this and DFHack, you ought to be able to iron out the worst of YOUR problems, and maybe identify issues in adventurers other than yourself.Keeping us mostly fixed would be nice.
>>36151268>[ ] [BUG TRACKER] It's that mantis emblem you saw last time, that small thingamabob that just about fits in your palm. Between this and DFHack, you ought to be able to iron out the worst of YOUR problems, and maybe identify issues in adventurers other than yourself.Let's be honest, we're in dire need of one.
>>36151268>[ ] [BUG TRACKER] It's that mantis emblem you saw last time, that small thingamabob that just about fits in your palm. Between this and DFHack, you ought to be able to iron out the worst of YOUR problems, and maybe identify issues in adventurers other than yourself.Not being a huge mess can go a long way as far as living it's concerned
>>36151268[X] [BUG TRACKER] It's that mantis emblem you saw last time, that small thingamabob that just about fits in your palm. Between this and DFHack, you ought to be able to iron out the worst of YOUR problems, and maybe identify issues in adventurers other than yourself.
>>36151268omg yes [NANO EMBARK] if it is a tiny forge in our pocket we can use to make full sized kit. failing that [BUG TRACKER].
>>36151268>[ ] [BUG TRACKER]
>>36151389>>36151384>>36151367>>36151360>>36151345damn I was hoping for a tiny fortress worth of crafting stuffare we bared from buying these objects in stores?
>>36151428Unless we become a filthy sellout a buy a chest from a store, and even then we dont get a choice in what we get
>>36151456no I know about hte crystals in the stores, I mean is it possible to see these things outside of cubes in the world and possible for sale and or stealing?
>>36151407I probably should have been more specific about this, but [NANO EMBARK] is one of an unspecified number of things required to build a fortress in Gamindustri.
>>36151268>[x ] [NANO EMBARK]
>>36151506...really. It's REQUIRED. In that if we don't take it we can't do it.Thanks for that.
>>36151506>unspecifiedNot impressed. Plus we really, REALLY need the bug tracking.
>>36151456>>36151501Nope! Once a treasure cube's claimed by an adventurer, whatever they get is a) tailor-made for that specific adventurer, and b) is completely personal to them.In MMO terms, it's Bind on Pickup stuff that's specific to each individual adventurer.
>>36151506We can always get it later and with bug fixer it makes it so we dont close our mouth causing our bottom teeth being jammed through the skull and being jammed into our brain
>>36151535well seeing as bug tracker popped up, it will probably pop up in another treasure cube. probably the next one.
>>36151537If we pass on it for now, what's the odds it shows up next time? Or ever?
>>36151537is it possible to still obtain tools needed for embark later and can we use said tools in real world situations?
>>36151506Not like we're going to be fortressesing anytime soon so we can put off getting this for a bit at least
>>36151552yeah...yeah I remember that bug. RIP best broker and your inability to shut up.
>>36151572Bug tracker showed up last time, so I'd say it's good odds
>>36151268>[ ] [BUG TRACKER] It's that mantis emblem you saw last time, that small thingamabob that just about fits in your palm. Between this and DFHack, you ought to be able to iron out the worst of YOUR problems, and maybe identify issues in adventurers other than yourself.Bugs would kill our fortress deader than dead with out it, especially since we have a catgirl.
>>36151653> catgirls breeding like dwarf fortress catsJesus christ how horrifying. Also, adorable.
>>36151535>>36151572Well, not if Urist LEGALLY wants to build a fortress that also won't have crippling incompatibility problems with Gamindustri and/or other non-dwarf adventurers who happen to pass by or bunk in the fortress.Even with the relevant permits to build in, say, Lowee, the zoning authorities also sort of want SOME sort of proof that Urist's fortress won't accidentally break something important and cause horrific lag spikes in the surrounding area, among other things. (Having a stable fortress is also likely in Urist's best interests.)Basically, >>36151552 and >>36151558Like with the Bug Tracker (which showed up the first time and again this time), anything you don't pick up now will has a pretty high chance of showing up later. And even if Nano Embark doesn't specifically show up, there ARE other treasure cubes drop that're needed and/or possibly nice to have for embarking in Gamindustri.>>36151580The tools might have other minor uses, but things like Nano Embark are, for the most part, specifically made for fortress mode.My bad, guys, I'll try to be clearer about this sort of thing going in the next time Urist reaches treasure cubes! In any case, Bug Tracker wins, so... writing!
>>36151718CatGirl leather boots for EVERYONE!
>>36151729It's cool boss, that aside that's pretty interesting
>>36151268>weird and violentwhat? it was perfectly normal.and fun.good lord these people need to relax
>>36151729Wouldn't bug tracker help with lag spiking?
>>36151268>[X] [BUG TRACKER]Yeah, alright, that's a helluva solid choice right there. While you're planning to build your very own fortress sometime in the future, there's a definite emphasis on "the future" in that thought, and the very important hope that you'll survive long enough to make it to aforementioned future. Not having weird shit happen would be nice, especially shit like your teeth jamming through your skull (only happened in a dream, thank Armok) or being unable to wear new clothes and not realizing it until your OLD clothes nearly rotted off (actually happened until you "fixed" it by slamming your head against a wall a few dozen times, fuck you Armok).You concentrate for a moment, and the treasure cube fades away, leaving only the mantis emblem in your hand. You can toy with it (and DFHack later); for now, you plop it into one of your bags and close it up tight. Reassuringly, you once more get the feeling that you haven't seen the last of the OTHER things; the more dungeon runs you undertake, the stronger you'll become (and/or the closer to an average adventurer's power level you'll become, either or).After a quick visual check of your captives (one still weeping silently, the other pale and bloodied and exhausted), you turn to look at Ester and Moru- and thank fucking GOD, it looks like they're mostly recovered. Ester's back to bouncing on her heels, humming softly to herself. "Urist! I learned a new trick! It's legendarily cool: I can form big groups now!" she chirrups. "REALLY big groups! I KNEW an old adventurer could learn new tricks~!"Huh. Well, that's good for her, although you can't imagine how that might come in handy. You can't help but imagine massively multiplayer Esters running around, but it's a hard thought to swallow, so you look over to where Moru is also being cheerful and whhAAAAATHEFUCK-(Cont.)
>>36152462"Oh! Urist!" No longer looking so scared, the catgirl hops closer to you, looking pleased as punch; THAT MONSTROSITY is close behind her heels, mewing softly to itself. "Look! Look at him! Isn't he cute?" she all but purrs, her hand never leaving THAT MONSTROSITY'S little furry head.You point a quivering finger at that- that THING, feeling a horrific sense of foreboding. What in the name of Armok is that... that /thing/?Moru huffs at you, "Oh, come off it, he's not a /thing/. He's a Felyne! And he's gonna be SUCH a big help to me, yes you are, yes you are-" She coos the last few words to her THAT FUCKING MONSTROSITY, who purrs back. You force yourself to stare at it a little more. It's... there's no doubt about it, THAT THING is a cat. A CAT that just so happens to wear wicked cool armor, be bipedal, and wield a goddamn /sword/, of all things.It's... it's sentient? And can use that sword?"Yup!" Moru puffs her chest out proudly. "He's a smart little kitty! He's a really big help in and out of fights, AND he knows just when to save his own hide."Does... does it breed like a normal cat?"W-What kind of a question is that??" Armok help you, Moru looks scandalized. "I mean... I guess? Felynes are almost everywhere, it seems."Oh GOD you bet they motherfucking ARE. You try not to cry as you ask the final question. And... and it sticks to whoever it decides to adopt, doesn't it.Moru giggles. "Ah, you're a cat person, too?" (... wow, you don't even know where to BEGIN when she's the one to say that.) "Yeah, felynes are pretty independent-minded. I mean, they even form their own villages! Isn't that just adorable?"She laughs a little, and you laugh along with her, although out of horror and despair more than anything else. That THING is literally something out of your worst nightmares, and you make a mental note to never, never, NEVER let her take that thing anywhere near your future fortress.Gamindustri would not survive.(Cont.)
>>36152484Even with the two hogtied morons dragging behind you, your little adventuring party makes pretty good time as you leave Lowee Snowfields- hell, you even remember to gather those herbs and flowers that was apparently the objective of some quest or other, as helpfully reminded to you by your phone. That might have been why it dinged earlier, though you can't remember setting that alert. Handy things, these little pocket protectors-Wait, no. When you re-check your phone, it wasn't an alert that dinged, back when you were sneaking up on whatever was stalking you. Turns out it's a message from Maia, of all things, though you're not sure how Little Miss Civilization managed to get your number when the Guild wouldn't tell YOU how to contact her. You take a moment to look at your phone, angling it so that Ester won't look over your shoulder.... a chill goes down your spine. One glance at that message tells you that it isn't in her usual flippant "something or other! (+2)" style, and reading the rest of it worries you even more.>urist we need to talk>some bad stuff's going down soon>doesn't matter if you're a guildie or not, you were a freelancer once>watch your back>get to my civ when you can. but don't rush>the coordinates are-You curse under your breath. MotherFUCKER, are those Leanbox coordinates!? That's halfway across Gamindustri, for crying out loud!!"Urist? Are you okay?"You shove your phone back in your pocket and shake your head, not looking back at Ester and her wide curious eyes. Just... a friend being a goddamn idiot. Nothing new.>Urist Twelfthbay travels toward Lowee's Basilicom...ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)Taking the best of three!No DC; encounter table
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>36152520You KNOW we're still going to get a 1 anyway
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>36152520nat 1 inc
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>36152484>"Ah, you're a cat person, too?"In that we are capable of fear, despair and suffering, yes.>>36152520
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>36152520
>>36152564Dodged a bullet there.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>36152520What definition of best?
>>36152102Surface people are WEIRD
>>36152582Best of three just means the highest out of the first three rolls posted!If you're asking what the best is in this situation, higher is better. Writing!
>>36152520Somethings going down with the freelancers it seems, we should take the chance to call up Minecraft and see if anything weird has happened to her
Does Gamindustri have Moe Personifications of Horror settings? I shudder to think what the Moe personification of Silent Hill or Amnesia would be like
>>36152623What happens when we roll 3 1s in a row?is it ogres
>>36152700>moe personification of Resident EvilI'm hype.
>>36152700It has moe personifications of almost everything (except tie-ins, so no Ninja Turtles or Dragonball), so yes, it's entirely possible!>>36152706more like just 'it's over'
>>36152706>>36152763Gamindustri suffers blue screen of death amd needs a Hard reset?
>>36152821Given the last time a Battletoads game was released... well, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, anon.
>>36152700Silent Hill would be a cute girl wearing a pyramid hat.
>>36151249>ConsequencesI like it.
>>36152821Honestly, I think the the Moe personification of Battletoads would be a hazard everyone avoids, due to causing unending rage in everyone it encounters.
>>36152862Dante vs Donte when
>>36152862What does release date have to do with anything? People still buy and sell copies of Battletoads all the goddamn time.
>>36152869It's not consequences until the waifu dies.
>>36152623>If you're asking what the best is in this situation, higher is better. Writing!is it better in the sense of "an easier encounter"? Because harder encounters tend to give more loot.
>>36153032If we're going by dorffort rules better might mean FUN
>>36152862>>36152520>17!You can't help but wonder at that message. Wonder out loud, even. Seriously, why is it that when someone says something mysterious and cryptic, they never list the spefici- speficit- spefifi-"Specific?"... you glare back at Ester, who's covering her mouth with a hand and shaking a little bit as she utterly fails at NOT laughing at your mistake THAT TOTALLY DIDN'T HAPPEN SHUT UP ESTER."There, there, it's okay, Urist, it happens to the best of us." The Dragon Warrior pats your head, grinning like a loon. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about~!"Before you can affectionately tear off her hand and beat her to death with it, Moru suddenly squeals and scampers off to examine a spot of snow that looks exactly like every other spot of snow. You almost decide to ignore her before she... whips out a goddamn pickaxe and starts going at the icy patch like an experienced miner, her little hellbeast close on her heels. She's even making good time, despite not being a dwarf. The hell's she up to?"It's a mining node, Urist!" Moru yowls. "A mining node, this close to the capital! It's a miracle that no one's stripped it clean yet!"... ore? Ore on a flat plain, coexisting on the first goddamn layer on the ground??THAT'S enough to get you over there before she even finishes speaking. After a short squabble over mining rights and I-got-here-firsts, the catgirl reluctantly agrees to cut you in on the share- although her reluctance quickly fades when your OWN pickaxe strips away a few layers of ice, dirt, and ores."How do you even DIG so fast?" Moru pants; she got what she came for, and sits at the edge of your ever-deepening pit, staring down at you in mild fascination. "Your arms are like noodles!"(Cont.)
>>36153320... putting aside her totally uncalled for jibe at an INCREDIBLY sore spot, appearances can be deceiving and all that. You straighten back up and wipe a hand across your brow, your exertions warming you up even in this biting cold (that no one else ever seems to feel, goddamn). Besides, has she even /seen/ your hair? You're lifting, like, dozens of pounds just by walking around straight."... isn't that really heavy? Why don't you just cut-"HA HA HA HELL NO."But-"You're making up for... for tragically non-existent hair. Let's just leave it at that, okay? More importantly...>Gobs of flux stone acquired!You've got pretty much the most important type of stone and/or ore there is to have, outside of adama- /cotton candy/. Now all you need is iron ore, and you can make your own upgraded armor! Or get someone in town to smelt the steel and forge the armor /for/ you, that's perfectly fine too. It's a pretty good start, all things considered- you didn't even have to murder anything for it!... come to think of it, there MUST be some other Gamindustri-specific ores that require flux stone to get better. You make a note to yourself to look into that later.(Cont.)
>>36153334The rest of the trip back is fairly uneventful- unsurprisingly, the three of you are pretty damn tuckered out. Or at least YOU are; it's honestly hard to tell with Ester, and you have no idea of catgirls actually get tired or if they're like cats and run around hunting vermin until they go to the great leatherworker in the sky.But what you DO know is that you basically trekked from that village in the boondocks of Lowee to its capital, fought ludicrous numbers of boss fights, and had about fifty trillion earth-shattering revelations dropped on your braided head in the space of one day. In any event, the setting sun is just dropping down over the horizon just when the three of you (and two prisoners) reach the city around Lowee's Basilicom; it's all really pretty at night, with lights and everything, but you're sort of beyond caring because you're dragging your goddamn sore feet and desperately need to crash in a bed.The FIRST thing you do is to get the prisoners' little Arfoire fanclub gift box. It looks like every damn package in the world; thankfully, the form letter and the bromides (more like chicken-scratch drawings that look like they belong in the museum) prove beyond a doubt that the prisoners' story was pretty much legit. The arcane tools you brought back definitely help.... except the Basilicom is closed for the night. Figures. What do you do with the equally dead-on-their-feet prisoners?[ ] [WAKEY WAKEY] Go to the Basilicom, tell 'em it's ridiculously urgent, use Ester to get your asses seen by Blanc, and leave the 'cultists' with her to deal with.[ ] [NOPEY NOPEY] Leave the prisoners at the Basilicom. The guards there have got to be pretty high-spec, since they guard a goddamn GODDESS and all. Deal with it in the morning.[ ] [LOCAL JAIL] Drop the prisoners off at the local jailhouse. These cultists are literally a joke, they're weaker than paper, and no one's going to miss them.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>36153320Okay, we'll just pretend she DIDN'T question a dwarf's digging ability.
>>36153353>[ ] [LOCAL JAIL] Drop the prisoners off at the local jailhouse. These cultists are literally a joke, they're weaker than paper, and no one's going to miss them.
>>36153353>[x] [WAKEY WAKEY] Go to the Basilicom, tell 'em it's ridiculously urgent, use Ester to get your asses seen by Blanc, and leave the 'cultists' with her to deal with.
>>36153353>[ ] [LOCAL JAIL] Drop the prisoners off at the local jailhouse. These cultists are literally a joke, they're weaker than paper, and no one's going to miss them.Urist is too tired to work hard
>>36153353>[x] [NOPEY NOPEY] Leave the prisoners at the Basilicom. The guards there have got to be pretty high-spec, since they guard a goddamn GODDESS and all. Deal with it in the morning.
>>36153367It's better that way, anon.Urist DID just promise that there wouldn't be any unnecessary bloodshed, after all.but a dwarf always remembers>>36152901>pic related>>36152915Just saying!
>>36153353>[ ] [LOCAL JAIL] Drop the prisoners off at the local jailhouse. These cultists are literally a joke, they're weaker than paper, and no one's going to miss them.Urist status: on break.
>>36153353[x] [LOCAL JAIL] Drop the prisoners off at the local jailhouse. These cultists are literally a joke, they're weaker than paper, and no one's going to miss them.Also, is there a bank or a warehouse or somewhere we can stash the gobs of flux stone. Its gonna be bad if we have to carry it everywhere. It's a waste of inventory space.
>>36153413>Storing an item in the stockpile
>>36153353>[ x] [WAKEY WAKEY]
>>36153353> [WAKEY WAKEY] Go to the Basilicom, tell 'em it's ridiculously urgent, use Ester to get your asses seen by Blanc, and leave the 'cultists' with her to deal with.Seriously, this isn't a threat to the realm, but to the very fabric of it - namely, the economics of power-ups.That plus the weird shit going on about it? Like the Goddess hasn't dealt with that before.
> [WAKEY WAKEY] Go to the Basilicom, tell 'em it's ridiculously urgent, use Ester to get your asses seen by Blanc, and leave the 'cultists' with her to deal with.
>>36153353> [ ] [WAKEY WAKEY
>>36153353>[ ] [WAKEY WAKEY] Go to the Basilicom, tell 'em it's ridiculously urgent, use Ester to get your asses seen by Blanc, and leave the 'cultists' with her to deal with.Ester WAS making a pretty big deal out of it.
>>36153353>[ ] [WAKEY WAKEY] Go to the Basilicom, tell 'em it's ridiculously urgent, use Ester to get your asses seen by Blanc, and leave the 'cultists' with her to deal with.Ester was about ready to just go ahead and kill them. Something very out of character for her.
>>36148632>Kick the shit out of the architect who STILL HASN'T PLANET THE FUCKING TRADE DEPOT> were not going to survive the winter without selling all these useless stone crafts for food DIPSHIT> QUIT CHOPPING TREES YOU SHITLORD
>>36153750>what is dorf therapist
>>36153353>[X] [WAKEY WAKEY]You REALLY want to dump these yahoos off at the local jail and wash your hands of the whole thing, at least until you're actually awake enough to give more than half a fuck. Still, between the MOBAs promising to dick around with you at a later date, Maia's bullshit message, and her location in Leanbox (shit, you should check up on Mojang too), you've got enough to worry about without leaving around loose ends to be tied up later.Besides, if this shit's important enough to make ESTER flip her lid, then it's most likely important enough to require a little divine intervention, and it doesn't matter one bit that your eyelids are fluttering closed. So you keep yourself awake the only way you know how."... Urist, really," Ester says carefully. "If you're tired, you can go back first, you don't need to do... /this/." She gestures at you, unable to find any proper descriptors. Meanwhile, Moru's inched away from you so much that she's basically sitting on a crate on the other side of the street.You finish emptying your sixth flask and reach for your seventh. Bullshit. This is totally necessary, you slur tiredly. Y'gotta stay awake. Y'gotta finish this. Y'punched one of 'em's teeths out, this is as much your quest as anyone else's."But-"Shhh... no buts. Only alcohol, now. You slug down your seventh flask and straighten up, temporarily energized. Right, then. If you hurry, you can do this before you collapse and fall asleep on the cold pavement. Come, Ester. Come, Moru. Come, prisoners of war!"A... actually, I'll go get rooms for the night," Moru says carefully. You'd notice that she seems a little reluctant for some reason, but that assumes you give half a fuck at the moment, so you simply nod.Come, Ester. Come, priso-"Right, right, you don't need to repeat yourself!" Ester takes your hand and tows you along, and you need no further prompting.(Cont.)
>>36154187Surprisingly enough, the march up to the Basilicom is relatively calm; it's late enough that there aren't a whole lot of people around to stare at your strange little procession (and your hogtied, blood-and-snow-covered prisoners), but not dark enough that the night life (what little there is in Lowee) gets started in earnest. You can't imagine what it would have been like had you gotten here earlier in the day.Then again, you can't really imagine all that much, right now. Your vision's sort of tunneled to the rapidly-approaching Basilicom, and you focus on getting one foot in front of the other. Maybe you ought to look into working on your endurance? You're not THAT quick to tire, but you have the sneaking suspicion that if you could pin your stats down to numbers, you'd be on the low end of average.It's not long at all before you reach the steps of the Basilicom. The big imposing doors are shut tight, and two knights in less-than-imposing armor (really? Mushroom cap-shaped helms?) step up to halt your progress. "The Basilicom is closed for the night, CPU White Heart is not accepting visitors-"You slip out of Ester's grasp and step right the fuck up. Nope. Magic word, motherfuckers. Arfoire."W-What?"You giggle a bit, and you're not sure if it's the sleep deprivation or the alcohol or both. 'S gotta be a slow night for these guards, that's why they're so slow on the uptake. Seriously, did they not hear you? Arfoire. That's reason enough to get Blanc up out of bed, right? C'mon, Ester, tell 'em."T-The Dragon Warrior!?"Wow, they ARE slow. You're glad you're not leaving your prisoners with these guys. The guards boggle at the brown-haired swordswoman standing behind you, but almost immediately straighten to full attention. You can't see Ester's expression right now, but if it's enough to make THESE yahoos stand up straight...(Cont.)
>>36154201"It's as she says," Ester intones gravely, actually sounding like a responsible adult rather than a happy-go-lucky Japanese schoolgirl. Who would've thunk. "I'm afraid this can't wait. I know you have your orders, but CPU White Heart will understand.""Y-Yes! Right away!!"As one guard scampers off and the other does his best impression of a competent guard (you're pretty sure he fails), you feel Ester place a steadying hand on your shoulder. "Thanks, little sis. I've got this from here."... oh, thank Armok, you're not sure you're quite capable of putting words together at the moment.You're content to stand back when the guard quickly escorts you inside, and when Blanc herself hustles out to the Basilicom's darkened main hall to meet you, looking like she threw her clothes on in a hurry. She IS a little miffed at first, but, well."Dark purple motif. Red crystals. Gold trim." Blanc's monotone doesn't quite hold up; there's a sort of simmering anger present as she glares at the hogtied cultists. Thankfully, it's not directed at either of you. "Please tell me it's not what I think it is."The Dragon Warrior shakes her head. "Sorry, CPU White Heart. They're Arfoire fanboys."... you'd have thought that 'cultists' would be the better term for it, but whatever. Either way, Blanc's wide awake now, and she remains so as Ester passes over the evidence- the tools and the gift box's contents- and describes what went down at the Lowee Snowfields. You don't have a whole lot to add as she keeps talking, so you look at the frescoes again for what feels like hours.(Cont.)
>>36154217It's only when you hear Ester hesitate that you plunge back into the conversation, having a good idea where it's going because you were totally the one who broke every goddamn rib in that cultist's body and knocked out all his teeth, Ester had nothing to do with it.The Dragon Warrior stares at you, momentarily aghast, before shaking her head and looking back at the goddess. "No, CPU White Heart, I was the one who-"Nope, that was all you. You're a former freelancer, don'cha know, ridiculous acts of violence are in your blood."Urist-!""It's fine." Blanc's voice cuts through your impending argument, silencing the both of you. You glance at her, and she's shaking her head. "I know Ester well enough to guess what happened. Sucks, but given all that's happened, I can't blame her at all. These fools were just unlucky." She shoots a venomous glare at the cultists, who shrink back. "... but pretty lucky they didn't bump into me."... so Ester's not in trouble?"She's not."But you were still the one who totally punched that guy's teeth out."Mm. I'm not surprised."Punched them all out. It was pretty radical.Ester cuts back in before Blanc continues your little back-and-forth. "... haha... I'll take it from here, Urist."You know what? That suits you just fine.(Cont.)
>>36154228You listen with half an ear as Ester and Blanc work out most of the details, which can pretty much be summed up as "we'll keep 'em here, we're going to up security and up it the fuck out, word of this won't get out, we'll squeeze them for information, we'll keep you posted, come back tomorrow morning. Ish." Then it's apparently over, and Ester guides you out of the Basilicom with a hand on your shoulder, but you don't really mind because you make it about two steps before you're face-down in the dirty boot-churned snow and pavement.The last thing you remember before falling completely asleep is a pair of arms scooping you up in a princess carry, and Ester chuckling to herself. "Big sis's got you, Urist.".... the last thing you THINK before you conk out is: motherfucker, she's never going to let you live that down.[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]
>>36154245Thanks for the thread Blorp.Now time for zzzzz.
ALRIGHT, that's a pretty good place to wrap it up! Apologies for the absurdly long time on that last post.Going to set the next thread for 11/16 at 7 pm EST; as always, any schedule changes will be announced at http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can be tossed all up in here or at http://ask.fm/BlorpQuest, either or.Thanks for participating, guys, and I hope you enjoyed the thread!
>>36154276Thanks for running.
>>36154276Bought Blorp, thanks for running
>>36154276fuckin love this quest blorp, peace out and thank you friend please host again
With repaired armor and gauntlets later. Much later.Peace out.
>>36152700On the other hand, the moe personification of all the enemies from Parasite Eve would look reasonably cool.
>>36154245>The last thing you remember before falling completely asleep is a pair of arms scooping you up in a princess carry, and Ester chuckling to herself. "Big sis's got you, Urist."dawwwI expected it for a few posts now when we saw how tired urist was, but it still got me right in the feels