How does a centaur wipe its ass?
The same way a horse does
How does it use a toilet?
>>35327430Extreme flexibility, tools, rubbing against other objects, help from other centaurs. Take your pick, I guess.
>>35327430they have to use a special tool, it's known as an ahbesian. it's basically a pole with a grabber on the end. There's a store right down the way that sells centaur supplies, "Ahbesians and such"
>>35327430By having shit on it's anus.
>>35327471damn forgot pic
>>35327430By not wiping their ass. Or rubbing against a tree.
You're a half-centaur. You can figure this out on your own.
>>35327430>ranger tracking horses>passes tracking check>notices shit stains waist high on trees with rough bark>realizes he's tracking centaurs, not horses
Uses its tail.
>>35327430Does it shit human shit or horse hit?
>>35327550well, it has a horse butt and probably a horse diet
>>35327531This is entirely how this works
>>35327550They shit centaur shit, obviously.
>>35327531Centaur droppings and horse dropping could be very different too because of diet.Centaurs may not be as okay with just leaving their shit on the ground, so you could see hoofprints around a little mound where the centaurs cover up their shit.
What are centaurs like in the DnD setting? Are they civilized, yet wipe their ass on trees and shit everywhere?
>>35327430the same way that murricans do
If there's build up they rub against a thicket or something. Otherwise play it as it lies
inb4 that manga page
>>35327980How does this even work.>>35328014Share it.
>>35327980>centaurs wipe their asses like a 350kg murrican
>>35328014You mean from Centaur Worries?
My question is why is this in such hot debate, also they leave shit stains wherever they sit cause they don't
What do they do with their arms when they run?
>>35328157Bags of holding motherfucker
>>35328157Hold them backwards like a real ninja.
>>35327430>he doesn't know how to use the 3 shells.
>>35327808You're still tracking a sentient creature with their droppings, which is just great.
>>35328157>the superman>heil hitler>clapping their hands>jogging motion >the aeroplane
>>35328157Shoot people with arrows.
>>35328157aim bows, carry spears and/or wineyou know, centaur things
I WAS MYSELF WITH A RAG ON A STICK
>>35327514How does this work? 1/4 horse?
>>35328906Horse head, giant cock, horse legs?I dunno.Anyway, new question people!Q: How do centaurs sleep? (like position)
>>35328157Cross them sternly.
>>35327430They use their tails.>Then what do they clean their tails with?Their asseesIt's a never ending cycle of shit.>>35327550Could you imagine if they did human dumps? 2-3 meter long turds just rolling out, or when they've eaten the wrong thing, a firehose spray of shit.
>>35327430With their tails.
>>35328906A centaur is 1/2 human. You are 1/1 human. You are 1/2 centaur.
>>35327430They probably don'tDid the Ancient Greeks wipe? Probably not
>>35327430On the carcases of its slain victims.
>>35329267Not to mention mythological Centaurs were savages.
>>35327430How does a horse?
>>35329267They used sponges, wool, and rosewater if they could afford it. Broad-leaved plants if they couldn't. Rich Romans sometimes used goose or swan feathers, still attached to the pliable neck. Not Greeks, I know, but still interesting.
>>35329335Fucking ancient people.
>>35327430The horse anus is a marvel of evolutionary biology.Like most mammals, rhythmic contractions of the bowels move the feces up to the end of the gut to be expelled.What sets the horse anus apart is the bafflingly complex autonomic contractive motion of 4 muscular rings which function like sphinctoral guillotine. As the feces is squeezed out, the rings expand and the outermost ring is retracted into an interior skinfold resembling the human foreskin, leaving an interstital tissue fold to open air.The two inner rings then contract, and push apart, severing the horse feces cleanly, allowing to drop free as the outer ring folds back through the interstital flap, creating a intrinsic wiping motion with the fourth ring as it contracts back into the horses rectum.This advanced biological mechanism is so effective that many industrial companies have copied Nature's design for self-cleaning viscus liquid dispensers housed within complex machinery.
>>35329437Today I learned about why horse anuses benefit engineering. Thanks, /tg/.
>>35329437I don't really know if I want this to be true or not.
>>35329437Source or horseshit.
>>35329335>>35329437I don't even know what to say.
>>35327430Centaurs just shit where ever. What makes you think they wipe?
>>35329106Any drawfags around? I have to see this.
>>35329437Still doesn't change the fact that some of that shit must hit the legs on the way down.So how do they clean their legs from shit?
>>35328157They hold coconuts and make the clapping noise just for shits and giggles.
>>35329437I fucking love you, /tg/
Have your in game Centaur culture develop so it's polite for friends and family to point out or wipe off poo. Imagine how sturdy their toilets need to be. If they use a human outhouse do they get embarrassed from their front half sticking out.
>>35329437How do you know this sir?
>>35329437I'm having a hard time visualizing this.
>>35329437At first I thought this was going to be some disgusting fetish thing, then I learned something about making a better ketchup dispenser.
>>35329437The worst part is that the only reason people could have learned this was by someone noticing how exceptionally clean horse asses were.
>>35330200>hidden from their foes the centaurs grab coconuts to make it seem like they have double their numbers chargingSeems legit.
>>35329437I've never been on /an/ but I'm guessing it's something like this.
>>35330876Hey, someone had to wash those horses before they were brought before Catherine the Great.
>>35329437Someone archive this shit
>>35329437I turn my computer on after two hours and this is the first thing I see.How the fuck should I react to this?
>>35329437I don't need all your fancy mechanical talk to love horse anus and butt. I already did long before this day, and I will continue to do so in the future.
Horses don't need to wipe. Because of all the fiber they ingest every shit is a no wiper. Life as a horse would be paradise.
>>35327808I like to thing Centaurs eat like horses and shit like horses. So instead of burying it they probably just kick the piles apart so the grass doesn't die.
>>35332207seems unlikely. can you imagine a centaur grazing?
>>35330876Have you ever been around a horse? I have my whole life and I have always wondered why horses have such clean asses.
>>35332249Leaves instead of grass, along with more fruit. They have the height so why not get the good stuff
A thread about literal horseshit is interesting. Literally we have made a thread about horseshit and it is not only interesting, it is educational.Well done, /tg/.
>>35330917She was too busy sleeping with pretty much the entire officer corps of the Russian Army to have time for bestiality, anon.
>>35329437I am speechless
There has to be one anon itt that checked the horse shit out? I mean this just sounds 2epic4u to be real, like someone would make shit up just to make it all interesting. R-right? Right? I mean come on, toilet companies researching how horses shit and 4 circular muscles and everything else, it all just sounds 2sci-fi4me.
>>35328229I would post Iunderstoodthatreference.gif, but somebody already did.
>>35332526>This has to be one anon itt that checked the horse shit out?Maybe he lives in a ranch and has Horses, therefore he knows about their feces, it sounds like a bunch of horseshit but its actually true, its why Horse anus is always clean.
OP here, what have I created?Now I have spectacular knowledge of the equine anus... How would I explain this knowledge to anyone?
>>35332594Tell the truth. Say you found out about it on the Internet. The absurd amount of judgment that they will aim towards you is, shall we say, a mere accident of their interpretation?
>>35332594Do what I do. Just tell them. In doing so I learned that one of my friends is a centaur. After all, he had the cleanest asshole in the group.
We should archive this horseshit.
>>35332705Oh you...Kicking a dead horse at this point.
>>35329437I'm going to use this little tidbit to help my monk woo a centaur caviler in my party, and convince her to let me dick-punch her in the 'guillotine.' Thanks fa/tg/uy.
>>35332745Ah, and now that I know it has a clean ass, it makes kicking it much more entertaining!
>>35329437Is this actually true? I don't want to Google "horse anus".
Wasn't this touched upon in Centaur's Worries?
>>35329437What the shi-Nope. Not gonna make a pun
Well that was the hardest I've laughed all day. Thanks guys.
>>35332852Why not wiki "Horse" and look for the part about the digestive tract?
>>35329437i believe it.
For the lazy bastards.
>>35332752>Centaur Cavalierwhat's her steed?
>>35334002There's a feat so she can be her own steed.
>>35334002Anon, she is her steed.
>>35329437I'm both disgusted and intrigued
>>35329519yeah, I can't find anything about this. need to give a source.
>>35334002She'll ride him, if he plays his cards right.Right into the guillotine.
>>35329437Not this poster.While I can confirm the intrinsic wiping motion, and retractable nature of the outermost sphinctoral muscles, having seen a horse defecate, the internal guillotine mechanism is not something I am capable of expounding upon, and further, a quick wikiwalk does not mention it. Unfortunately, I lack any veterinary texts focused on horse anatomy or digestion.However, it does seem like a suitable internal balling mechanism that would work, and use the components common to the anatomy of mammals.tldr; seems legit.
>>35327461>HEY! ESKIMUS! I NEED TO WIPE MY ASS! COULD YOU COME OVER HERE FOR A SECOND!>ON MY WAY, KURGENDRION!Buddy assist ensues. Onlookers are reminded that centaurs travel in herds for a reason.
>>35327808This is you.>4028/2>Expecting people to be able recognize whether a horse has a head or a human torso based upon spoor.
>>35330876Grew up on a ranch and ran the most redneckified D&D game that the desert had ever seen.If you grow up working with horses... you notice.
How much control do horses have over those muscles? I need to know for... Reasons. Honestly I'm amazed I learned this information from /tg/ before /mlp/. It really is true that you don't even need the other boards.
>>35337852>/mlp/Stop forcing that shit.
>>35337852Yes. It is true. You especially don't need any of the other blue boards.
>>35338043>that post>forcing anythingSeriously, its never those faggots who cause threads to be derailed, it's oversensitive cunts like you. Take a fucking breath and accept that people like things that you don't, and it's okay.
>>35337852What are you even talking about? /mlp/ talks about horse genitalia all the time.And it's also the same shit as Dolphin vaginas. Dolphins do not have magical muscles in their vagina that lets them control it all or something, it's a ridiculous rumor. Horses don't either, they just have a different physiology that makes it seem like they do. Horses can however do a sort of move in their vagina where they push cum directly into the uterus and then the rest out of the vagina, helping to ensure a pregnancy after getting fucked by a dude horse, but you should just remember that on the internet virgins don't no shit about sex, and that includes animal sex.
>>35327430BETTER QUESTION. IS THE CENTAUR'S HEART AND LUNGS AND STUFF IN THE RIB CAGE IN THE MAN'S CHEST OR THE RIB CAGE IN THE HORSE PART?OR DOES HE HAVE DOUBLE EVERYTHING?
>>35338254Now that you mention it, I'm going to go with the set of redundant backup organs, because that sounds cooler and more intimidating to face on the field of battle.
>>35338254I have always wondered this too, especially with genitalia. Do male centaurs have two dicks? Where do they piss from? If their dick is at the front in the human location, how does reproduction work?
>>35338297That'd be fucking sweet as all hell.
>>35338178Are you just ignorant or are you pretending you don't know about the winter ball thing?Several threads in a row created with /mlp/tan as OPs pic, in threads where discussions about who to take should take place.Strawpolls that were meant to estimate /tg/s interested were then posted on /mlp/ to influence our decision.And then you go >/tg/ before /mlp/. It really is true that you don't even need the other boards.Fucking get over yourself.You're sneaky little creeps.
>>35337487You messed up your year count, it's 2013 not 2024.
>>35338300Centaurs should have two sets of internal organs, but only one set of (horse) genitals. That's the main reason why people like them, that magical realm in particular.
>>35338372Sounds good to me. I mean, human genitalia dangling off the front of a centaur would just look... weird.
>>35329437With all the tumblrfags and redditors infecting 4chan lately, I love being reminded that I am definitively on the asshole of the internet.
>>35338341I ignore threads I don't like, so I never looked into any of those 4chan ball and board tan things. Just not my kind of autism. And as for:>/tg/ before /mlp/. It really is true that you don't even need the other boards.I just really don't see the problem. He's just saying he thought it odd that he learned some weird horse biology thing here rather than from /mlp/. "you don't even need the other boards" is an old /tg/ meme, meaning that /tg/ often has everything.>You're sneaky little creeps.>ImplyingC'mon man, just take a fucking minute to realise you're getting mad about people liking a chinese cartoon about horses.
This is why we can't have nice threads.
>>353383674028/2=2014What the fuck are you smoking
>>35338300Generally centaur have one set of horse genitals.
>>35329982Year of the horse mothafuka
Does a female centaur have two sets of mammaries, i.e. breasts and udder?
How does this even work?
>>35329437Words fail me at this moment.
>>35339178I never understood why some artists draw pregnant centaurs like that. Does the baby have a 'some assembly required' sticker on it?
>>35329437Kinda reminds me of this thread some time ago.
>>35339187Front sex.If he'd tried back sex, it would make more sense.if'n y'know what I mean.
Guess ill do a massive Centaur facts drop since I carry an ass-load of lore behind any fantasy creatures for my campaigns. Its all fantasy creature stuff anyhow so its up to you to decide how they work. >Centaurs are a genus similar to Were's or Beast-kin but unlike Were's, are a genetic based species that evolves from a more humanoid sect, Beast-kin take the other rout evolving from a more animal relative sect, Were's are usually a magical/infection based transformation>Centaurs are well known for their half humanoid/ half animal bodies which are typically based around the animal region beginning at the pelvis. >Centaurs races are usually seen from the half horse variety but that's just the tip of iceberg. Hippocentaur, Fey, Driders, and even Mermaids, all count as Centaurs. Cont.
>>35338372>>35338297While I'm OK with this, wouldn't the redundant organs need some means of shutting down the bloodflow to themselves, lest they simply let the centaur bleed out fruitlessly?
>>35339187Cause they're dumb. Even the Daily Life with Monstergirls guy did it.A centaur's uterus would be in her horse half idiots.
>>35329437Yet we learned something new anyway.
>>35338297that's how my centaur work now.>players attack a centaur>pierces it's human toso>heart is kill>centaur fights on>"wtf DM">he has 2 hearts kek>mfw
Yeah, but that's not as immediately obvious. A pregnant horse is indistinguishable from a particularly fat one to most of the population, so they go with the end everyone recognizes.
>>35339269>Centaurs do not carry double genitalia (Its most commonly on the animal posterior) but do have quad/double sets of certain internal organs (lungs,heart,liver,kidneys). >Centaur organs can actually vary depending on genetics, some have organs more characteristic to animal wholst others have more humanoid organs.>Their genitalia can also differ in this sense so multiple breasts/nipples, genitals/genitalia of the humanoid to animal variety and even the anus all change depending on genetics. >Most Centaur races can breed with other races but it has to be within their genetic makeup somewhere.>They are usually terrible swimmers unless their lower half is a species that is known for being aquatic (Mermaids)>They also carry far more animistic tendencies than humanoid ones, although some of the longer lived Centaur family lines do get more knowledgeable. >The frontal area of a centaur where the humanoid body connects with the animal body is sometimes referred to as a "mon" it has no genitalia but is covered by females and not by males, so its comparative to breasts in a sense.>Standing behind them whilst speaking to them is considered rude for obvious reasons.>They usually have issues turning at high speeds, so if your going to fight one DO try to get behind it.>Hitting the animal organs of the lower half is more damaging to them but beheading of course is the quickest killing method.>It takes them an extremely long time to digest food but they do need more carbohydrates then most races. >Diet is consistent with the animal half.>Hugging a centaur from the side is sometimes preferable to the front as the height is less restrained and they cant kick you as easily.
>>35339365Fuckin mobile. Reply to >>35339305
>>35339372I'm not arguing that, but it's still stupid.On a related point, can Centaurs breed with Humans? What would such a kid look like? 3/4 Human 1/4 Horse? If the Mother was the Human that'd have to be a rough pregnancy.
>>35333546>>35329437I can do one better
>>35339448Depends on the setting.3e FR implies that Centaurs are from wild elves getting curious about horses.Which would say that Centaurs + Humans would be some kind of half-elf most likely.
>>35339448Ummm. Really. However you want them to. It's YOUR fantasy.
>>35333546>>35339457Not nearly the most interesting stuff in the thread.
>>35339448>>35339487Eh, "Satyrs" except horses as goats I guess if you're gonna allow it at all.Or go the "Minotaur" route and have a beastly man with a horses head.
>>35329335Romans used vinegar soaked sponges.The goosedown thing is from Gargantua & Pantagruel by Rabelais
>>35339696for some reason this thread makes me want to play a Werehorse... every full moon I turn into a Horse and help some farmer plow his field.
>>35339774>I can feel the change overcoming me, the dark curse!>Hey buddy, need that cart pulling?
>>35339696>Or go the "Minotaur" route and have a beastly man with a horses head.do they have the ability to sound like Will Arnett and kill people by kicking doors into them>
>>35339821>Wait, what are you doing back there?>Hey, stop, wait no!>This isn't what I wanted.
If you're wondering how centaur sex might work, I could post the Andalite fapfic
>>35327430Do you know why horses smell so bad? Yeah. Enjoy your waifu.
>>35329437You are the hero we deserve.
>>35343773>horses>smell badThere once was this kid who decided one day he was going to be a horseman. He went out to the best stable in town and found the stable master, a man known far and wide as the best horseman around, and asked what he had to do to become a great trainer. The old master asked him if he was willing to work long and hard, to listen more than talk, to put his body and soul into the work. The kid assured the old man that he was. The old man nodded, and said, "Okay, come with me." and he led the boy out to the stable, then opened the doors and told the boy to take a deep breath. The kid did so, then made a face. The old man laughed. "Boy, you ain't never gonna be a horseman. That smell? That's a horseman's life. To be a great horseman, you have to love that smell. "And I can teach you all kinds of things, but nobody can teach you that. You're either born with it or you're not. I'm sorry, kid. Go on home, now, find something else to do."
>>35344246That old man is going to teach that kid to fuck horses, isn't he?
>>35344266I don't know how you could possibly get that out of that story. Oh, wait. /tg/. Nevermind.
>>35329437man, all this talk about horse anus's are making me strangely aroused
>>35329437/tg/ fucking delivers
>>35329437That's horseshit but I believe it.
>implying cute girls poop
>>35345791Kill yourself, you sick freak.
>>35339305depends how long the vagina is.Fucking sperm marathon, conception can take up to 9 months before a sperm even sees the egg, or it could by like the bowels and peristaltic motion forces sperm rapidly into the depths of the humanoid uterus.but then the baby has to escape... if using a reversed peristaltic motion the baby'd probably pick up a load of speed by the time it exited, midwife'd need a catcher's mitt.
>>35346022>>35339178>centauress wife goes into labor>"oh shit oh shit we'd better get you to the hospital!">her human husband says>fitting the saddle onto her back
>>35339211This should be posted whenever centaurfags are present. Fucking degenerates.
>>35338414Blame Jennifer Lawrence for being a stupid ho.
>>35347410I prefer them over the Lamia-faggots.
>>35339457Yeah, that one's better.>>35348976Little late on that, friend.
>>35328157Wildly flail around like the retards they are.
>>35329437So the horses have self-wiping asses. Why again aren't we researching genetic manipulation more?
>>35350993I wish I could have a horse butt, butthole, and cock. Man, genetic engineering needs to hurry it's shit up.
>>35327430You know windshield wipers?Kinda like that.Except for horse ass.
>>35329437So, does that mean the horses and centaur can give the best anal sex in the animal kingdom?
>>35328270>70's Disco moves>armflailingtubeman.gif>naruto running>holding scissors>trying to wipe your ass>clapping coconuts together to sound like you're in a larger group than you actually are
>>35354229>Windmilling>The wave>Hands behind head reclining>Mr Burns 'excellent' style fingertips together>Homer Simpson style middle fingers
>>35339457Great, but it seems kind of bare. You can fit a couple more of the more hilarious reactions in there
ITT: The best thread on /tg/ right now
>>35339684>>35339457I agree, can someone save the "what does a centaur do with its arms while running?" series.
>>35329437Never change /tg/.
>>35329437I'm fairly certain horses shit and piss themselves when they cum, though. So there will still be that to deal with.
>>35353444They could probably rip your cock off if you tried sticking it in there, you fucking degenerate.
>>35329437What the fuck
>>35358890Fuck off retard.
>>35358890Today on idiotic /tg/ conspiracy theories, this guy.
>>35358890While I don't agree with how he said, I do agree with the general thread.This thread does not need to get bumbed a million times with reaction images to that post in particular.
>>35358921>>>'twas merely an act.webm
>>35353444What part of "like a guillotine" do you not understand?
>>35329437This isn't true.I work with horses, and was the guy who wrote about No Dick Rick, the man who tried to fuck a horse's nostril and had his dick ripped off.
>>35359503I'm glad you prefaced that second sentence by saying it wasn't true, because I might have believed you for half a second.No, I wouldn't.
>>35359596No, seriously, I work with horses, and I post about sheath beans and mucous plugs in pretty much any centaur porn thread I see.Just haven't been around for awhile.>tfw you find a couple of these little buddies in a horse's cocksheath
>>35327471>>35327505So, if I put on centaur porn, and covered half of the screen so I didn't see the horse parts, would I get aroused?
How does a centaur wipe its ass?+213 posts and 60 image replies omitted. Click here to view./tg/, I don't even...
>>35327430With a dwarf.
>>35355982>Jazz Hands>Walk Like An Egyptian>One hand on "hip", other hand doing the snapping motion of a sassy black woman
>>35359640>Dollar coin and quarter.Oh Jesus, you're in Canada.
>>35360613No, just using pics found on Google.
>>35343773>>35344246Don't horses smell bad because they're one of the few animals (along with humans) who sweat to cool down?
Are Centaurs fucked if they break one of their legs? Or does that only apply to Horses?
>>35363238A smarter and more social species could convince an injured individual to actually not walk on a broken leg while it healed, while fetching food and water for him. So no, they're probably fine, if not nearly as robust as humans.
>>35359640What is that, dried semen and piss or something?
>>35363700And dust and whatnot, dick-boggers.
>>35359640>sheath beans>centaur pornBut what does a geldling problem have to do with sexually active centaurs?
>>35363733Nothing, most likely...More importantly, are Centaur able to masturbate? They can't reach their own genitals...
>>35363846I imagine an entire race would have a large about of pent up young men, and those sorts tend to get *very* creative.I mean already just from less than a hundred years of artificial insemination there's a wide variety of fake mares developed.So a groove on a thoroughly sanded, polished and splinter free log or stump's likely a common thing in a 'taur camp.
Whoever manages to get a shipment of large sturdily-mounted fleshlights to the Centaurs is gonna make a mint.
>>35363906>So a groove on a thoroughly sanded, polished and splinter free log or stump's likely a common thing in a 'taur camp.>"Ranger, why are you stroking those logs?">"I'm tracking Centaurs"
>>35363238>>35363547Well, the problem isn't convincing the horse not to walk, it's the fact that lying down causes difficulties with breathing, and not standing on a leg causes poor circulation through it. This all usually leads to laminitis, which is very nasty. A horse with a broken leg CAN recover, but it's a long, arduous process with a poor success rate. Vetrinary medicine has improved the odds dramatically over the past 50 years or so, but it's still a bad place for a horse to be.
>>35363846that's what the human captives are for, dingus.
Guys, Check this out.
>>35366733>Last pageReminds me of that one pic where spock and kirk were illustrated to be centaur lovers