[Back from hiatus edition]http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=neckbeard+questPrevious threadsIf you wish to switch character files, even number must simply suggest PAUSE, FILE SELECT. You may second even numbers in hopes your post lands an even number.----You decide to check on your status.1/2
2/2Would you like to increase status points? Select 3.
>>35166083Holy shit it's the guy who hardly posts for the entire thread then leaves for like a month
>>35166143What? Teli usually runs for a couple days in a row.
>>351661713 posts, goes to sleep, comes back and posts another 5 images, back to sleep, start at the beginning
>>35166185Maybe you should read the archives.
>>35166090>str, str, str
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>35166143S-sorry, I'll post more, babe. Just don't leave me!>>35166160Alright, let's see how much the dice grants us!
>>35166222Why the hell would I leave you? You da best, srs
>>35166222the dice hate beardy
Status boost!You are currently in Cat-Baker's post. There is a Shotamous in your secondary mouth, it has been hours past since he made any movement. You also have an incubus rider locked up in her closet, you can hear him pound and yell from inside. Something about being hungry.>>35166236Good! Because if you leave me, I'll drag you kicking and screaming AAAALLL the way to /d/.
>>35166274Now teli, that's something I'd let you do any day
>>35166274Rampage across /b/.
>>35166274Check on the little bugger in your stomach. Is he alive?
>>35166314/b/ is pretty far away and heavily populated with foreigners. Are you completely sure?
>>35166555Wait, what's that about perverts and betting on something?
>>35166555/b/ has the greatest amount of anons, which means more souls.Or we could go to /v/.
>>35166588>go to /v/ and overthrow the SJW overlords
>>35166555>Teli keeps getting tripsDamn, son.
>>35166555Investigate who is talking about what
Realize that you can't be a proper villain without a great evil lair. Sure, Shopkeeper's post has a suitable atmosphere inside, but it's clearly not menacing enough on the outside. Or large enough.
>>35166555Sup, Teli. Word on the jerb yet?Also, let's not go to /b/. We should go to /d/.
>>35166555Why is the incubus rider locked in the closet?
>>35166788He wanted to fuck the succubus
>>35166580Oh, it's just the TV. Some kinda stupid talk show.>>35166588True, but /v/ sounds like it's a little more closer to get to.
>>35166963INVADE THE TALK SHOW
>>35166646You realize you'll need a great evil lair, and that Dealer's place won't just do.But first, you'll need to conquer some territory. What's a good spot to start?
>>35166973/vg/, we can take over the hentai games general.
>>35166973/soc/ is pretty close, let's invade those faggots.
>>35166973Destroy the talk show and overtake their building so we can send out evil overtaken talk shows
>>35166973We must conquer /pol/. We can call ourselves the second coming of Hitler.
>>35166973Maybe if we take Incubus Rider with us to /vg/ he'll shut up.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>35166996>>35167016Both of those boards are full of terrible people. Let's see which one we start out with!1,/soc/2,/pol/
>>35167097>Let one-arm out>Tell him if this mess isn't cleaned up by the time you're back you'll eat him
>>35167097Why not invading the talk show?
>>35167097I'd have preferred the talk show...
>>35167166>>35167197Are you guys new? Teli only take even numbered posts as votes.
>>35167233Yes I'm new.Why is that considered a good idea again?
>>35167298go read the archives
You have never been to /soc/ before. Or to any of the other boards, actually, ever since you moved into 4chan.>>35167130You decide to let one-arm out.>If this mess isn't cleaned up by the time I'm back, I'll-
>>35167679Throw him somewhere. No time to waste, we must pillage /soc/.
>>35167679Man, that thing's the size of his forearm, must be quite painful if you're being raped by him.I'd have thought it'd be a little thicker though.
>>35167679>punch the fucker
>>35167679Why is he attacking us? Didn't he want food?Does he think we're food?
Bed time, I'll be back later.>>35167708You throw him aside.Call for minions to join you in said pillaging?
>>35167953See? Knew it.3-5 complete updates, then goes to sleep, I PREDICTED THIS FROM THE STAAART
>>35167953Nah, they'll probably fuck it up somehow. We're a one man army.
>>35167953>yesalways pick yes
>>35167953PAUSE, FILE SELECT
>>35167953yes, but not cat baker, she's not much of a fighter and we don't want her getting hurt.
>>35166963To the question on the TV: Yes.
>>35167953eat incubus and absorb his lust powerssrsly
>>35174068NOOOOO! He's Kamen Rider Sexfiend!
>>35174068Eat anon and his terrible idea.
>>35167953Go to /d/. Upgrade Charm Merchant. Get Catgil Baker some fetishy acoutrements.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>35167968So you do like it up the butt! >>35167982>>35167982Indecisive, let's see what the dice decides.
You decided it's a 1 man job. /soc/ can't be that hard to handle, right?
>>35176490>So you do like it up the butt! Only from you, Teli.
>>35176659One-arm, aka Kamen Rider Sexfiend.
>>35177318You are now One-Arm. You are hungry. The more hungry you get, the crazier your arousal becomes.>>35177328He's not a save file, Anon-kun.
>>35178162Go to the kitchen and get some pastries.
>>35178162I have no idea what's going on in that picturebut sounds like we should get some food
>>35178162Consume your own semen until you're not hungry
>>35178300Looks like he landed upside-down and jizm got into his mouth.
>>35178300>>35178308You consume your semen in attempt to sate you hunger. Your hunger is only a little sated, but it simply won't do. You will need a mortal's sexual fluids.
>>35178770prey on catgirl bakerwait no nevermind neckbeard will kill usprey on neckbeard
>>35178770Pin down cat girl and eat her out.
>>35178770>Look for succubus elf
Rolled 5 (1d5)>>35179076You leap up and attempt to pin down the cat girl. Your chances are:1: Success2: You miss3: She counters, battle instigate4 (INCUBUS BONUS!): Success + Consent5: She counters, punishes you
>>35180952lol we suck
>>35181109Why not ;P
Uh oh! She countered!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTAnd it looks like she's going to do more than just counter..!
Rolled 69 (1d100)Accumulating damage.
>>35181892>Rolled 69Somehow fitting
>>35181851Why is the thumbnail image for this a crop from medaka box?
>>35181917I didn't even realize it was the wrong thumbnail>Fix yo shit moot
Rolled 40 (1d100)HEALTH: 81/150Your face and right eye is stinging.>>35181916You consider the damage fitting as the Baker continues to wreak havoc on your junk. At least to the point you fall unconscious.
>>35182530And then he comes.Because he enjoys the abuse.
>>35182530Ejaculate because you enjoy the abuse
>>35182530>shut your visor
HEALTH: 41/150>>35182580Boy, One-Arm, you sure are into some kinky shit.
Baker stops after taking notice of your orgasm.>>35182796You close your visor. Now it's getting fogged up by your hot breath.
>>35182861Search the kitchen for sexual fluids.
>>35182861Not sure who's cuter.Catgirl baker or Teli.
>>35182861Whimper out a thank you.
>>35182936Beardy left the TV on that stupid show didn't he?!>>35183050>Th-thank you..You may control both One-arm and Catgirl Baker
>>35183357Catgirl: Be jealous.One-arm: Pass out.
>>35183357>ask catgirl for sexual fluids >also mention you're starving to death
>>35183357>CatgirlKick that lazy bum out of your house. >One armFind succubus
>>35183357Crawl onto the couch and veg out in front of the TV, one arm.
>>35183357Is that Yorick on the telly?
>>35183963It's Teli's daughter. The one we bought a maid outfit for Anon from.
>>35183963It's teli's daughter
>>35183570"Alright. Wait here."
>>35184534No, Loli, please stay.
You are now Catgirl Baker.>>35183804One-Arm had vegged out on your couch, infront of your TV. It looks like he won't be making a run for it any time son.You are in your kitchen. You have bottled sexual liquids hanging around somewhere.Sexual liquids as in cum. Lots of cum. Bought from the grocer, of course.But you have all kinds of cum.>Human cum>Dog cum>Cat cum>Elf Cum>Horse cum>Neckbeard's cum (FRESH)>Duck cum>Your own squirt
>>35184611>slather self in every type>roll around
Beardy's and her own are free, guys.No sense wasting money.
>>35184534>Teli being surprised at her daughter>>35166963>Daughter was there the entire timeClearly she has a fetish for screwing on live television in front of her daughter and then acting surprised
>>35184611Whatever's near or beyond the expiration date.
>>35184624You take out the elf cum and decided to-
>>35184676- Take every other type of cum and slather yourself in it, then proceed to roll around on the floor.
>>35185468She then presents herself to One-arm, who proceeds to lick it off her.
>>35185468Now jump on the incubus rider, you should prove to be irresistible to him.
>>35184534Oh god, Teli's been raping us on the teli.
>>35185468Oh God, >>35185494He is an incubus. His incubus pheromones have simply finally kicked in.
>>35185445Now I want to know the stats of all the other cum.
>>35185549It's not rape, anon.At least, I enjoyed it.
>>35185468Cat.Wut r u doin?Cat.Stahp.
>>35185468Someone's been "sampling" the rum again, it seems.
>>35185978Fuck off, cis scum.
>>35186104But I'm gay.
>>35186118omg u poor bby. I must fight for your rights!...not good. Threw up a little in my mouth. Blacking out. Bury me in my "If you can read this, the bitch fell off" tee shirt...
Now, are you sure you don't want him to work for it?You may control both One-Arm and Baker.
>>35186584Hey >>35186118! We've been immortalized!
>>35186605Won't Beardy be pissed his waifu is... You know, he probably won't know.Catgirl: Present like the in-heat slut you are.One-Arm (Gonna call you Bandit): Make like Gene Simmons.
>>35186605Was forcing him to lick it off you not work? I'm pretty sure that would be work.
>>35186719As if he'd need to be forced.
>>35186584Someone needs to stick it up Teli's pooper there.
>>35186766I prefer the road less traveled. HEY-yo!
>>35186605Walk around slowly while he crawls after you.
>>35186605Present belly. If he wants to eat, he's going to have to give you a good rub and scratch.
Rolled 2 (1d3)>>35186690>>35187002>>35187014Let's see what the dice decides on.
>>35187038Catgirl is a fucking tease
>>35187002Great idea! He sure ain't getting it just lying around.
>>35187234One-Arm: Lick her feet
>>35187038Those mad eyes!>>35187234Get crawlin, I spose. Lick that stuff off the ground when it drips.
>>35187234I'm falling in love.
>>35187234Crawl after her.
>>35187234Bandit: Subdue and consume.
>>35187398Congrats. You have good taste
>>35187234So Teli has a cum fixation. Interesting.
>>35187374Her feet are constantly moving, how can you catch up?>>35187404>>35187406It's really hard to crawl with one arm, and it's hard to walk with your junk still in pain.
... And so you continue to lead the incubus around the room. It sounds like he's getting pretty desperate down there.What's the next step in your plan, Baker?
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>35187845Bandit: Incubus 'Power of Seduction' go!
>>35187869Let the fairy in.
>>35187869Touch fluffy tail.
>>35187869Who the fuck is that? Is that the drow cunt from the cafe? Wasn't she in /d/ last we heard? Or is that Charlotte? She's definitely fat enough.
>>35187869Dude! Let her in! She's a fairy!Don't you believe in fairies?
>>35187912I think that's One-arms' succubus waifu
>>35187869>step on his face
>>35187869Tell one arm to clean you with his mouth. Stare at succubutt the entire time.
>>35187869Seconding the terrible idea>>35187905>>35187927
>>35187869>Baker: continue doing what you're doing>One-arm: try not to die of hunger>Succubus: ask to join fun. Puppy dog eyes if necessary.
>>35188112Don't like Bandit? But he's a one-armed slut machine that always pays out!
bumpThis a command input
>>35187882You shift yourself around in order to get into a seductive position.
>>35187984>Clean me up.>With your mouth.
You then turn to the window and stared at the Succubus watching outside.
>>35190303I'm surprised succubus hasn't broken the window yet. Break in and take all the seminal fluids for yourself.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>35190303Give Succubus a shit eating grin and laugh evilly.Rolling for mental damage.
>>35190303>Succubus: be sad, but aroused
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>35190448Rolling for success.
>>35191165HERE WE GO
Oh. Look. She broke your window.
>>35191362Commence the batter licking
>>35191362Succubus: yell something about frosted butts.
>>35191362Succubus grab one-arm>Mine
>>35191362>clean the kitty with your tongue
>>35191362kitty, try to get the succubus away from us.
>>35191362Cat: Enjoy harem
>>35191362Cat: Hear the whispers of anger, of rage building inside you. Hear the voice of 'The Prince of Wrath'. go into a rage induced frenzy.
>>35191362Just grab incubus tightly, Kitty. He is YOUR butt slave now. Call him Snuggles. He have to earn right to be called Mr Snuggles
>>35194573Haha, oh yeah. I forgot about that, but I was talking about Asmodeus.
>>35191362Succubus, join One-Arm in licking the cat.
Is bumping this thread viable anymore?
>finally catch up with neckbeard quest>get to this threadgod damn it i love you all
>>35198738These usually continue in the evening (in my timezone), if I remember correctly.captcha: Twice usedDS
>>35191426>>35191440"HE'S MINE, FROSTED BUTTS!"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>35199871Catgirl: Seduce.
>>35199871Tell her someone's going to lick all this cum off you, and she better be prepared to do so if she doesn't want Kamen Rider sexfiend doing it she better get started.
>>35199871Succubus: Fail to resist urge to lick cat
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>35199871this >>35199929
>>35199871catgirl: get him back.
>>35200392Succubus had tossed One-Arm to the side for some of this cum. No one can resist cum covered cat!
>>35202137>One-arm crawl over and join in
>>35202137Succubus: Lick dat pussOne-arm: crawl over and do the same to succubutt
>>35202137One arm: run into the kitchen and eat all the cum while they're distracted.
>>35202137Yell out for your robot arm. You miss it.
>>35202137One-arm: crawl to kitchen for foodSuccubus: Lesbianism time
>>35202137We threesome now.
>>35202137So, Teli, when you started this quest, did you ever think you'd have to draw a catgirl slathering herself in cum, roll around, seduce a one armed incubus to lick it up, and then do the same thing again to a succubus?
>>35202137Catgirl (who shall be named Missy Cummings): Acquire succubus as minion for Beardy. Merge save files.
>>35203478>Missy CummingsSeconding this
Rolled 3 (1d3)>>35202394>>35202420>>35202716Decisive roll>>35203478Succubus is already a minion of Beardy. You cannot merge save files.>>35203314When I started this quest I expected whatever story to unfold.
>>35204356Incubus AND succubus?
>>35204356One-Arm: Empty drawers in search of safe, non-contested semen.
Sorry, job assessment taking too long.>>35202716While those two get it on, you crawl into the kitchen for any semen.There is cum all over the floor, littered with empty cum bottles.
>>35205709Lick it up and regain your strength.
>>35205750Really the only option. Charge up like a damn semen super saiyan.
>>35205750>>35205882Oh god this cum is so delicious you have no idea.Your hunger is now sated. What's next on the agenda, One-Arm?
>>35206041Find your robo arm. Raid the pantry for more bottles of semen.
>>35206041Escape while succubus and catgirl are distracted
>>35206041Go outside and find something to seduce.
>>35206041Do our wings work? I'd say just find our arm and fly through the window.
>>35206041PAUSE, FILE SELECT
>>35206122There was no pantry, but several cupboards. You open the first one.It has two boxes of pancake mixA bag of flourAn empty bottle with a tag labeled 'Incubus Cum'A dildoJar of peanut butterAnd a bag of catnip
>>35206913NEW FILEHow many files are there?
>>35207128Oh BOY HERE WE GO
>>35207128What did you just do?
>>35207272Made it even harder on Teli.
>>35207128shit oh shit it's happening
>>35207454Everyone better get their one physical trait idea ready
I just want to see what the unicorn is up to. ;_;
>>35207880I want to see her pin down cryanon and rape him while he's a trap.
>>35207128For what purpose?
>>35207128Sorry guys, I recall mentioning that the third save file is locked until one of the game files is completed.Opposite gender and age will be unlockable by then.Separately, of course.
>>35209095It's cool Teli.NECKBEARD!
>save file locked#rekt, forgetfulfags
>>35209095>NeckbeardI want to know what /k/ay and Yorick are up to.
>>35209095>until one of the game files is completedGood luck.
>>35209095;____;Didn't Beelzefag say that we'd get a bonus for our 50th soul? Did we get that yet?
>>35209286You are now Neckbeard. What the fuck is that Succubus minion of yours doing?>>35209455You're right, but it can only be accessed by night when you sleep.
>>35209600who cares about her?go find cryanonhe was our first minion, he'll always be special
>>35209600Are you /soc/? Go conquer that shit.
>>35209600Wish Headphones Anon a merry Christmas and then go look for cryanon.
>>35209600Track down that crying bitch.
>>35209600HIS LIQUOR TEARS WILL FUEL OUR RAMPAGE!But first, hug Headphones and wish him merry "Not Getting Raped" day.Check the time. Even a second past midnight, impale him through the ass and up the spine with your prehensile second tongue and carry him into battle like a screaming, sobbing, "why"-bonering standatd/standatd-bearer/human shield/erotic party favor/ice breaker.
>>35209600Preach the return of Beelzefag to that poor bystander.
>>35209774First, let's wish this guy a merry Christmas. He even wished you a merry Christmas in return!
>>35209668>>35209764>>35209792Well, which is it, Beardy? Are you going to one-man /soc/ or look for our first minion?
>>35210377actually one manning /soc/ sounds like more funand I don't even know what /soc/ is
>>35210377/soc/ it up
>>35210377>still no evens/soc/ gogogo
>>35210417ok I obviously know what it isbut I've never been there or even moused over the link to see what it stands for
>>35210482RIGHT! TO /soc/!
You have no idea where it is.
>>35210783Go into a rate me thread and just eat every dick in sight.
>>35210810Poor guy in a beanie.Not knowing what he's about to be conscripted into.
>>35210810>>35210824Force beanon to be minion, make him show the way!
>>35210810Steal faggot hat's phone and use Mootle Maps to guide you there.
>>35210875Pressgang Beanon.Do >>35210185.At this moment, Brita- /soc/ burns.
>>35210810Take the sub, Beardy, you can do glorious chikan there.
>>35210810Steal that guy's hentai mango. And then ask him directions to /soc/
>>35210810It's after /sp/ and before /sci/.
>>35210810>call a taxi
>>35211146...is that a thing?
>>35211230It is now
>>35210824Gee, just what is he about to get conscripted into~?
>>35211474Quit being coy, you monstrosity.As for Beardy, just get him to lead you to /soc/, he looks like an attention whore.
>>35211474Steal that faggot's phone.
>>35211474>psst. Hey, hey guy, wanna some world domination?
We'll have to convince him to lead us there. What do you tell this nice attention whore looking Anon?
>>35211988Tell him there's a party at /soc/ where all the hot chicks will comment on his selfies.
>>35211988>steal phone>blackmail with noodz
>>35211988"RAT SHIT BATSHIT DIRTY OLD CUNT! SIXTY-NINE ASSHOLES TIED IN A KNOT! HOORAY! LIZARD PISS! FUCK! But, yeah, you know how to get to /soc/?"
>>35211988Ask him if he wants to go to /soc/ or in your stomach
>>35211988>>35212066And if this isn't enough, lick him for good measure.
>>35212066>RAT SHIT BATSHIT DIRTY OLD CUNT!>SIXTY-NINE ASSHOLES TIED IN A KNOT!>LIZARD PISS! FUCK!
>>35212066>But, yeah, you know how to get to /soc/?
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>35212204"Um.."1, He agrees2, He refuses3, (PHEROMONE BONUS!), He agrees4, (PHEROMONE BONUS!) He agrees, but he also wants to touch fluffy beard.
>>35212684I don't suppose we can drop by /k/ real quick first to gear up and weaponize our new minion?
>>35212696The whole point of going to /soc/ is because it's close by.
>>35212696Come on, he's not our minion yet. We just asked him directions and licked him. We'll have to AT LEAST fuck him and/or traumatize him for life.
>>35212709>>35212727alright, alright. Ask him if he got something to defend himself, then, wether he has or not, get to /soc/.Also, do we have a skeleton minion yet? I mean, I am not saying rip off his flesh, but I AM saying we could do exactly that.
>>35212742Silly anon, skeletons are not real.
>>35212752Oh arent they? well what If I told you... THAT THERE IS ONE INSIDE YOU RIGHT NOW?
>>35212684Give him power. Like, he's really good at... Um... Lucha Libre?
>>35212790Anon, stop. You're spooking me.
>>35212993oh, I am ever so sorry.
BEANIE ANON has joined your party!>>35212696>>35212742It only looks like he has his phone, hentai mango, and beanie in his inventory. He probably has some basic fighting skills."Alright, alright. I'll take you to /soc/.""Just lemme go, you're covering me in saliva."
>>35213072Read the mango and take selfies on the way
>>35213072>"Just lemme go, you're covering me in saliva."While on your way, lick him more. Nibble on him a little bit.assert dominance.
>>35213072>hentai mango>not manga, mangoTHE LEGENDARY LEWDFRUITHE MUST BE THE ONE
We're at the bump limit.
>>35213173Oh, alright, checking to make sure this thread is archived before hitting the sack. I'll see I'll get to the next thread after breakfast.