Let me tell you about humans.Humans are illogical, irrational, unpredictable, and incomprehensible. The emotions that cause their erratic behaviors are virtually unknown among the other races of the universe, among whom the average human would be considered pathologically insane. It is the role of the Incubators to contact the most emotional of these creatures... that is to say, the most irredeemably insane of the most incomprehensible demographic of a race that is universally agreed to be stark raving mad... and convince them to become magical girls.You are not a magical girl. You will never become a magical girl. There are strange voices in your head that dictate nearly every action you take, but among a race of stark raving lunatics, you are what passes for sane..And there is something about you that bitches find irresistable.But first, who are you?>Kaname Madoka>Miki Sayaka>Shizuki Hitomi>Kamijou Kyousuke>Tomoe Mami>Sakura Kyouko>Akemi Homura>Other (Specify)
>>35141973>>Kamijou KyousukeI have no clue on what we are doing. WOOOO!
>other>Willow Smith, the fresh princess
>>35141973>Kamijou KyousukeHAHATIME FOR BARD
Okay, you are Kamijou Kyousuke.Your attributes include Music, Depression, and something else. What?
>>35142255Interest in Occult and Supernatural.
Oh, and pic related to offer a word of advise for the QM.>>35142308What kind? Martial arts? Wrestling? Sword fighting?
>>35142314Right, mechanics. Here:Voting and Rolling:The option with the most votes when voting is cut off wins.When you vote for something, roll 1d8. The first roll and only the first roll made for the winning option will determine whether the action succeeds or fails.Most options that are provided will have a number between  and  attached to them. This is the modifier that will be added to your die roll, and if the total is 7 or more, the action succeeds.Write-ins are acceptable, and will receive modifiers when appropriate.Modifiers:The modifier for an option is the total value of the strongest natural and unnatural influences that support it. Natural influences are your Talents and Afflictions. Unnatural influences are witches.Talents & Afflictions are positive and negative aspects of your personality that help your actions to succeed. Of your appropriate Talents & Afflictions, only the highest rated will be applied to any single die roll, with ties being decided by what's more appropriate.Actions in alignment with a Witch's desires will add the Witch's power to your rolls. Only one Witch will aid you with any one roll. Witches have a variable rating that depends on the power of the witch and the strength of her desire. Witches will almost never grant a modifier higher than +3.Consequences:Relying on your Talents will make you more positive, and will gradually allow you to choose new Talents or upgrade existing ones. Barring bizarre and uncommon miracles, no Talent can be rated higher than 3.Relying on your Afflictions will make you more negative, and will gradually cause new Afflictions to appear, or existing ones to grow stronger. Afflictions higher than 3 are the product of rare disasters.Relying on Witches increases their influence over you. If a single witch's influence grows strong enough, she will control you completely for a short time.
Apparently, Kyousuke is for Fight. Okay.TALENTSMusic 3 Fighting 2AFFLICTIONSDepression 2An unfamiliar ceiling.The last thing you remember is... It actually takes a few moments to come to you. Your name is Kamijou Kyousuke, and you are a violinist.You also hear voices in your head, and they tell you to do things. Strange things. Sometimes good things. Sometimes bad things. And when you saw the cat about to get hit by a truck, one of them told you to save it.So you- Oh god it hurts to move. You'd ask what hit you, but you're pretty sure you already know. Beyond that, you vaguely recall bright lights, muffled voices and... why is there a needle stuck in your arm? You need that arm! You need both your arms! Your violin and your violent urges both rely on them!>Panic. Get out of bed. >Someone left flowers here. Eat them. >Wait for someone to come to you. 
>>35142401oh boy, might want to post that on every subsequent thread since people will have questions for that stuff.
>>35142512That was the plan, yes.
Rolled 8 + 2 (1d8 + 2)>>35142499ok so here we go.Panic.get out of bed.
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d8 + 2)>>35142499>>Someone left flowers here. Eat them. 
>>35142570I think you need to add 5...or is it subtract...fuck.
>>35142588I think that's the DC.I added 2 because depression.
>>35142601I added the 2 cause of the number modifier no the depression thing....shit.
>>35142588Those are the modifiers added to the roll. The DC is always 7.Even if you do something you have no business attempting, you always have at least a 25% chance to succeed.
>>35142570I vote this, affliction route go go.
>>35142499>Wait for someone to come to you. >>35142588>>35142601>>35142617Let's just roll vanilla dice and let OP handle the modifiers, k?Also, I don't see why Madoka's mom wasn't a character select option.
>>35142635Ok, thanks for clearing that up.
>>35142674so huh just roll like normal and the QM will add or subtract as needed...thats what I'm getting.
>>35142657Vanilla dice are fine. I am capable of math.Madoka's Mom was "Other".Writing.
>>35142704Inb4 it's a bouquet of belladonnas.
Suddenly, it hits you. Where you are. Why everything hurts. You jumped in front of a truck for no good reason, and now you're in a hospital.There was some kind of operation. You can barely feel your fingertips. What will this mean for your music? For your life? Shit, you might be dying here! You've never even had a girlfriend! How could you be such an idiot?A vase full of flowers sits on an endtable next to your bed. Cut red roses in water. Your stomach rumbles. You'd think if they were gonna put you on an IV, you wouldn't be so hungry, but you are. You are hungry like you wouldn't believe, and the roses look positively enchanting.You shift your weight just slight, ignoring the pain long enough to get your hands on the vase. Carefully avoiding the thorn, you pluck the flowers off all of the roses. You stuff them into your mouth and start chewing.Try not to think about the taste. Apparently being pretty doesn't make them good to eat."Kyousuke!"A familiar voice suddenly exclaims, and you look. Oh. It's your mother.>Explain that these are totally edible roses and you're not doing anything weird >My roses! I'm gonna eat them all and you can't have any! >Act casual. How long was I out? 
Rolled 7 (1d8)>>35142880>Explain that these are totally edible roses and you're not doing anything weird 
Rolled 1 (1d8)>>35142880Act casual.How long was I out?
>>35142880i think your dice system is a bit flawed, it just encourages people to dogpile the best roll, like this.>>35142910support.
Rolled 4 (1d8)>>35142880>My roses! I'm gonna eat them all and you can't have any! 
>>35142960I'm hoping to offset that in practice with the fact that large modifiers apply mostly to insane choices. Or we're going to go completely batshit and hopefully enjoy it. I guess we'll see.Writing.
>>35143047I fully expect it to go completely batshit then.also is this going to be a quest with or without smut?
Rolled 7 (1d8)>>35143078>Implying /tg/ isn't /d/-liteQuests always end up having smut
>>35143099not really, fade-to-black =/= smut.smut describes the lewd, while fade-to-black hides it and makes the reader imagine it on their own.
>>35143078That depends on how persistently you try to get Kyousuke laid, I guess. I don't make any guarantees about my ability to write smut, though. If things get too heavy, I'll probably just fade to black.
"Mn mno hwa-" You quickly swallow your mouthful of roses. "Okay, I know what this looks like, but I'll have you know that these are rare edible roses. They taste awful, but they're safe and nutritious and I'm not going crazy."Smooth, Kyousuke. Real smooth.Whatever. Your mom seems to buy it, or maybe she's just not going to fight you on this."Are you feeling okay? The doctors said you might wake up in pain.""I'll be fine once I'm back on my feet. A little Muy Tai, maybe some exercises to get the feeling back in my hands, and I'll be back to normal in time for my recital.""Kyousuke..."Oh shit. I know that look. Don't look at me like that, Mom.For all that you've got voices in your head, apparently you still suck at putting your voice in someone else's. She ignores your silent plea and starts to explain."I've been talking to the doctors over the last few days, and you're lucky to be alive. They say your arms and legs will heal enough to practice your Muy Tai again... you'll never be competitive, but you'll be able to do it. But your wrists have irrepairable damage. You'll never play the violin again.""I'll never... There's no way. Mom, that violin is my soul. My literal soul is in that violin!"You're exagerating, and you know it. It's how you feel. You can't help it.She gives you a sad look. "I'm sorry, Kyousuke.">Fuck this noise. Out of this bed. Out of this room. It's time to get out. >Shit, don't scare me like that, Mom. Jokes like that are why Dad left. >What's it take to get a cheeseburger in this dump? 
Rolled 7 (1d8)>>35143241>>Fuck this noise. Out of this bed. Out of this room. It's time to get out. time to abscond in anger and glory.
Rolled 1 (1d8)>>35143241>Fuck this noise. Out of this bed. Out of this room. It's time to get out. 
>>35143241>Shit, don't scare me like that, Mom. Jokes like that are why Dad left. 
>>35143292forgot to roll bro.
Rolled 6 (1d8)>>35143292>>35143301
Anger and Glory it is. Writing.
Rolled 2 (1d8)>>35143241>Shit, don't scare me like that, Mom. Jokes like that are why Dad left. This option is the best, holy shit. I came into the thread expecting nothing. You proved me wrong.
Fuck this noise.Your mother's voice sounds all too truthful, but it's just not something you want to deal with right now. Ignoring the pain, ignoring your mother, you force yourself out of the bed and start pulling the needles out of your... fuck, your fingers just don't work right fuck.In the heat of the moment, you compromise, and just wrap your arms around the bags and shit that are attached to the needles, duck under your mother's arms -she tried to stop you. Of course she tried to stop you- and bolt out of the room and down the hall.Sure enough, you're in a hospital. If the medical stuff sticking out of your body wasn't proof enough, the fact that it's all bleached white walls and smells like disinfectant and old people would be a dead giveaway. You blast down two hallways and a flight of stairs before you're sure you've lost your mother.Fuck everything. Fuck this gay earth. You didn't even have a girlfriend, and now you've lost everything that made you... well, you still have voices in your head. But you've been trying to keep the cray-cray from being a part of your public face. The violin and the violence were your identity. Without that, you're just a...What are you?The hallway you've stopped in has mostly glass walls for some reason. There's a girl in one of the rooms doing physical therapy.>She looks gloomy as fuck. I wanna punch her right in her gloomy face. >Maybe I should try singing instead. Something nice and raunchy would really hit the spot right now. >I can't let a girl see me like this! I'm still carrying all these... what the hell are these things? Run! 
Rolled 3 (1d8)>>35143587>>Maybe I should try singing instead. Something nice and raunchy would really hit the spot right now. 
Rolled 6 (1d8)>>35143587>She looks gloomy as fuck. I wanna punch her right in her gloomy face. Breaks injured hand
Rolled 8 (1d8)>>35143587>I can't let a girl see me like this! I'm still carrying all these... what the hell are these things? Run! 
Rolled 2 (1d8)>>35143587>I can't let a girl see me like this! I'm still carrying all these... what the hell are these things? Run!
Rolled 2 (1d2)Hm... well, I guess if the votes are getting split, it means none of the options are completely asstarded.1 - Bawdy Bardness2 - Chicken Run
>>35143814And away we go. Darn.Writing.
>>35143835>tfw no gimp slapGotta keep that gimp hand strong.
>>35143829Oh yeah, that's a thing I could have done.Sorry, this was a coin flip, but I'll try to keep that in mind when we next have a tie.
The sight of a girl your own age is kind of nice. Beats the hell out of staying with Mom at a time like this. But then again-She stumbles, and nearly turns your direction as you duck back by reflex. There's needles stuck into your limbs and you've got a double armful of IV. No way do you wanna be seen by a girl like- Shit, she totally saw you. Glasses girl totally saw you.The only way to save your dignity is to run.Dignity?Too late for second thoughts now. You're already on another- where the hell are you? How big is this damn hospital anyway?"Hey, kid! Stop running! Don't you know this is a- Wait, are you a patient?! Stop running, you idiot!"You find yourself pursued by a large man in a white coat. He looks really angry. You're not actually sure whether you could take him with all these tubes cramping your style.There's a window at the end of this hallway looks like it leads outside.>Get mad! You were already mad. Get madder! Turn and clean that guy's clock! >Escape! Open the window and jump! >Talk your way out of it. If you can convince your own mom that flowers are edible, talking this guy down can't be that hard. 
Rolled 8 (1d8)>>35144127>>Escape! Open the window and jump! 
Rolled 4 (1d8)>>35143835>Talk your way out of it. If you can convince your own mom that flowers are edible, talking this guy down can't be that hard. 
Rolled 5 (1d8)>>35144127>>Escape! Open the window and jump! Let's get more crippled
Rolled 7 (1d8)>>35144127>Talk your way out of it. If you can convince your own mom that flowers are edible, talking this guy down can't be that hard. The girl went fucking crazy! HELP!
>>35144127>Talk your way out of it. If you can convince your own mom that flowers are edible, talking this guy down can't be that hard. 
Very well. Writing.
You feel your legs slowing down. That burning feeling, you're not sure if it's exhaustion or the fact that you got hit by a truck. Whatever it is, you don't feel like running anymore.Time to put on the old charm. It worked on Mom, after all. From the looks of this rube, he can't possibly be smarter than Mom.You turn to face him and gesticulate urgently back in the direction you came!"Dude, it's not me you want! The girl, she's crazy! She said she was a time traveller and possessed by the devil, and that she's gonna blow up this whole town!"He bought that, right? That is the grumpiest middle-aged 20-something manface you have ever seen. There is no way he bought that."Uh, she came at me with a gun?"Still not buying it."A bat?"Nope."Okay, she didn't do any of that stuff, but she had a really jaded look on her face and I got scared, alright?!"The guy in the white coat reaches you without a word, grabs your shoulder in one hand and squeezes hard."You understand what I said about running, boy? You could hurt yourself. You could hurt someone else. This is a hospital, not a gymnasium, and with all you got stuck to you, you're liable to accidentally strangle yourself. You want to get better and go home, right?"You keep quiet."You ain't suicidal, are you, boy? This is a hospital, y'know. We can have you restrained if you're trying to hurt yourself. Ain't even no big thing for us."This has not been the best day from about exactly when you woke up, but like hell are you gonna let them tie you up. Or down. Whatever."Okay, okay. I'm not suicidal, I'm just mad. Geeze."(1/2)
(2/2)>>35144653Your legs still burn like hell and it's making it hard to stand. The man in the white coat pulls a collapsible wheelchair from a nearby storage closet, and plops you down in it.A few minutes later, you're being wheeled back towards the room you woke up in. Mother's going to be livid. Heck, there she is coming out of the roo- Oh hell. Not her. Why did she have to be here?Sayaka.>Shut her out. She's just going to guilt trip you anyway. >Loud and proud. You know what you did was stupid, but you'll be damned before you'll admit it. >Say something lewd. It'll probably piss her off, but either way you get something you want, right? 
Rolled 3 (1d8)>>35144669>>Say something lewd. It'll probably piss her off, but either way you get something you want, right? 
Rolled 8 (1d8)>>35144669>Say something lewd. It'll probably piss her off, but either way you get something you want, right? 
Rolled 2 (1d8)>>35144669>Say something lewd. It'll probably piss her off, but either way you get something you want, right? Tell her to jerk us off cause we broke our arms.
Rolled 6 (1d8)>>35144669>Shut her out. She's just going to guilt trip you anyway. 
Full disclosure: You have known Sayaka basically forever.When you started elementary school and they made you play a recorder with all the other dumb brats even though you'd already had a year of violin lessons, she was there.When you were in second grade and she was defending the other girls from assholes three years older than her, you were there. Getting your ass kicked, because you were eight years old and they were fucking half-ogre lizardfolk wearing human skins.When you decided on the spur of the moment that a little black kitten was worth jumping in front of a truck for, she was there then, too.And here she is now. You don't want to deal with this. You DO NOT want to deal with this. You've lost the violin that was basically your whole life plan without even getting laid, and here she is about to do some sappy...Seriously erection? Seriously? Is there a less appropriate time you could have possibly decided to show up?Fuck it. Fuck everything.It's not like you calculated your words for a particular effect. It was just the first thing that came to mind."Hey, I can't move my hands right and I've got the most annoying boner right now. Mind taking care of it for me?"You gotta give the girl credit. You didn't know her face could get that red. It's like she found herself a hot redhead and painted her face on the back of her head while they're making out.What the hell, brain? Why would you think of something like that when-Ow. Her slap leaves a full five-fingered imprint on your face as she stalks off in a huff.And you still have a boner. At least Mom isn't actually in your hospital room like you were expecting.>Go to bed and pretend none of this ever happened. >Try to score some food. >Listen to some music. Try to collect yourself. Veg. 
Rolled 3 (1d8)>>35145200>Listen to some music. Try to collect yourself. Veg. 
Rolled 4 (1d8)>>35145200>Write-in: attempt to deal with erection [?]
Rolled 2 (1d8)>>35145200>>35145301Why not?
>>35145301>>35145357>+1 depressionThat's actually really sad. Damn
I can work with this. Writing.
>>35145413So we're listening to music while trying to masturbate with a crippled hand?Life is hard.
>>35145387>>35145413>>35145455 Oh man. Crying, while trying to masturbate with limp unresponsive hands, while listening to music we can never play again, and ruminating over the fact that we've ruined our life.I can fap to this.
>Write-in: attempt to deal with erection At least you're alone now. Sure, you pissed off one of your oldest friends, but it's at least easier than trying to deal with her sympathy, or pity, or letting her watch while you try to come to terms with the fact that you've lost your one chance at the sweet life and have only yourself to blame.Hell, you didn't even get to keep the cat.WHY STILL BONER? You almost scream at the voices in your head. You're confronting your own mortality in the most depressing possible way, and your wiener's rocking out like you've been shot full of viagra.Not that you have any experience with that and dammit it just got worse again.Okay, you can handle this. The door into the hallway is closed, you've got an mp3 player with some nice, peaceful Mozart... a little clumsy trying to get that thing started. Good think it's got big buttons. And your hands work well enough to get your- okay, these are hospital pants and they're so easy to remove that you're lucky you didn't drop trou on accident during your rage bender.Working your equipment is another matter. It's not like you've never done it before, but your fingers just don't want to respond. Hell, this isn't even meant to be complicated. You're not trying to win a solid gold fiddle from the devil, just play the Autoerotica in D.Tears of frustration stream down your face, and you slam your fist onto the table. The vase full of rose stems falls to the floor, but strangely enough it doesn't break. For a moment, you think that maybe you've caused enough damage for one day. You break from attempting to manhandle your junk and bend down to pick up the vase.As you get back up, you brush against the side of your bed. It's like the sheets are made of silk. A few moments later, you're pretty sure that you can manage this without using your hands at all.(1/2)
(2/2)>>35145857It takes a little bit of creativity and some five or ten minutes, but you've managed to take care of yourself... though it was kind of hard on the mp3 player and actually maybe you'll just throw it out and try to forget about Mozart. Forever. There are plenty of other great composers whom you haven't soiled with your... um... yeah.You're just pulling your pants back up when the door opens behind you. Intensely aware that you haven't cleaned up the mess you just made, you turn and see Sayaka enter the room, followed by another girl.She's vaguely familiar. Shoulder length pink hair, hangs out with Sayaka a lot lately. You're sure you've met, though you don't recall ever saying much more than hello. Ka... Kana... Kanamine Nanoka? Whatever.>Panic. Don't let them see the bed, the stuff on the bed, shit is it on my pants? Red Fucking Alert! >Smooth. Nothing is going on here. I am totally in control and I'm sorry what's your name again? >Shameless. You girls just missed a wonderful tango, but I could always dance another. 
Rolled 8 (1d8)>>35145863>Shameless. You girls just missed a wonderful tango, but I could always dance another. "I managed after all Sayaka, but it took a bit of doing. Good timing though, just finished."
Rolled 3 (1d8)>>35145863>Shameless. You girls just missed a wonderful tango, but I could always dance another. That was hilariously depressing by the way.
>>35145890Fuck it, thisMaximum douche mode engaged
>>35145890This is best if our face is still covered in tears and a red slap mark.
Rolled 7 (1d8)>>35145927This is going to end horribly.
Writing. Probably gonna be the last one for tonight.Shit, I'd better make this good.
>>35145970Damn right you better, your entire QM career is on the line with this post. No pressure though.
Hello, ladies. No, not like that. Slower, smoother. You've just pulled up your hospital pants that could fall down if you look at em cross-eyed, your hospital shirt-gown thing is unbuttoned and your... where your six-pack would be if you had a six-pack... in full view of the girls, but if they didn't want to see your goods they should have knocked. You just did the horizontal tango without a partner, without using your hands, and while listening to a fugue. You are a young man with no future and no dreams, but in this instant you are A Sex God."Hello, ladies!" You flash what you hope is a confident ladykiller smile. "It took a bit of creativity, but I got the job done! And as you can see, my hands-" Your limp, clumsy, useless hands. "Are perfectly clean!"Sayaka's face flushes again, about as red as the slap-mark that still burns on your left cheek. Her friend with the pink hair blushes as well, but only manages a shade lighter than her own hair."I'm sorry.""W- What?"Her gaze slides past you to the bed where you were just dancing by yourself. It's still a mess. The mp3 player resting on top of it is a mess, and actually, didn't that belong to Sayaka? That little blue rectangle is way too not-white to be something you would own.Well, it's a little bit white now. And she's probably not going to want it back.You slide forward into her guard and gently guide her gaze toward your face."I'm sorry. If I'd known you were coming back, and bringing your cute friend, I'd have waited to take care of it."Sayaka shoves you away, hard, and you fall on your butt... but you can tell from the way she's sputtering that she's secretly pleased. Or possessed by Ned Flanders, but who the fuck has that kind of thing happen?"You jerk!" She finally spits out. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? How could you just jump in front of a car like that?"(1/2)
(2/2)You shrug. It seemed like a good idea at the time."And now you're being so shameless, and even hitting on Madoka! What's gotten into you?""Dunno. Since I can't do much with my hands anymore, maybe the rest of me is taking up the slack? Today has been horrible and depressing like you would not believe, but right now at this moment, I feel like a million bucks. Or another thing that rhymes with that."The pink-haired girl let's a giggle slip out, then quickly covers her mouth. Sayaka's eyebrow twitches a couple of times, then she leans over you and slaps you across the right cheek, leaving an impression that matches the one on your left.She turns about and heads for the door, pulling Madoka by the arm when her friend is a little too slow to follow. She pauses to let Madoka through the door first, and seems to be muttering under her breath- but she wouldn't actually say that. You were probably hearing things.You pick yourself up and set about cleaning up your mess. You can't sleep in the bed like this, and you're starting to feel like you really need it.As you settle into the hospital bed afterwards, Sayaka's words -even though you must have heard her wrong- replay in your mind."If only you were serious."
Well this is an amusing quest.Thanks for running.
>>35146297Thanks for running.
>>35146297So this quest is pretty much the players taking control over a character in Madoka and makeing them a standard murderhobo?
>>35146339I suppose, judging by the results, that's kind of what happened. My plan for developing more abilities may be a bit over-reliant on actually using the ones you've got.And possibly the one witch who's been handing out more dice mods than any other source is just a little too broadly applicable.
>>35142401>When you vote for something, roll 1d8. The first roll and only the first roll made for the winning option will determine whether the action succeeds or fails.problem with that is>Everyone wants to do A>One guy wants to do C>3 guys vote for A, but the first one rolls a 1>1 guy votes for C, rolls an 8>Everyone now votes Cor even>someone votes for A, then B, then C consecutively to see what each one gets for its roll>Everyone votes for the choice which got the highest roll
>>35142880>Try not to think about the taste. Apparently being pretty doesn't make them good to eat.roses are actually quite delicious and are used in a variety of dishes.my favorite is rose icecream with whole rose petals
>>35150332Rose water Macarons are delicious.Also Kyousuke has gone completely bonkers.
take your waifu dating sim back to /a/
>>35150763Did you even read this thread? It was the farthest fucking thing.