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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddy~”

The disturbingly cheerful drawl slices through your pleasant naptime haze, smooth and clean. Somewhere distant, a minute, indistinct, tinny little voice makes reply.

“Nuuuuuthin,” the voice continues, the predatory smile evident in his tones. “Just thought I'd check up on yuh, it's been almost forty minutes since I last saw ya, just wonderin' how my best buds on the ground crew were doing!”

You groan faintly and try to shrug your uniform over your ears to no avail. The bafflement in the tinny voice is clear even through the shitty military telegraph handset.

“Naaaaw, I always loved you guys~” the voice continues, so energetic and bouncy that you want to just reach out and gently strangle the cheer right out of that motherfucker. “But I gotta admit, I do, there is something I wanted to ask you, and just you. Yes, you!” the voice continues with a little laugh. “You, Bobby – I can call yah Bobby, right? Swell! Anyways, you know that talk's been going 'round about me running for Congress, and my father and I are already looking for good people, so I gotta ask yah somethin!”

The tinny voice made an affirmative sounding noise.

“Was it the Russians?”

The hair on your nape stands on end; the cheer has vanished from that voice, leaving only the smooth, stainless-steel polish of high class upbringing and the momentum of absolute confidence. Your eyes snap open to behold Joe Kennedy hunched over a military telephone, leaning on the desk with one hand, his eyes wide as he grins into the receiver. The handset emits a hesitant, baffled sound.
>>
inb4 dead after two threads
>>
>>34960240
AW

SHIT


NIGGAH
>>
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“You know, the Russians,” Joe continues. “Or was it whats-his-name, that Cronkite cocksucker or one of those other jew bastards they sent over here to ride along on a few milk runs and wax poetic about how big their balls are? You know, the sixty-niners or whatever. Sorry,” he says with a laugh, “I can't keep these jew names separate in my head, y'know what I mean? Anyway, I'm dying to know – who?”

A kind of stunned stuttering is floating through the line.

“Talking about? Talking about?” Joe says, his grin getting a little wider. He moves the handset away and looks up at you. “Hey, guys, Bobby wants to know what this is all about!” He laughs, his voice warm and mirthful despite his wide, cold eyes. “Well Bobby, I was kinda wondering who paid you off to sabotage that impact fuze and I'd love it if you told us quick cuz I've got five bucks riding it and I'd like to collect in time to hit up the PX for some decent smokes, y'know?”

A flurry of panicked sounds come flowing from the receiver as Joe nods, a huge shit-eating grin on his face. He waits for the flow to dissipate while rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“Aaaaahhhhhh'ma *cut* yuh,” he decides.

The sudden silence of the telephone spreads through the room.

“Yeaaah,” Joe says, clearly warming to the idea. “Cuttin'. Efficient. Quiet. Well, with a gag, but I mean it's such a pain to do the oil filter thing, you know? I don't even have a threaded barrel. Anyway Bobby gotta run, so you take care now and let that commie jew cunt bastard that bribed you know it wasn't your fault things went tits-up kay? Best assfuck and make up quick 'cuz there's a lot of men on the MIA rolls and most of them just walk off into a hedgerow and fukkin vanish cuz ~oooh Martians!~” Joe says cheerfully before lying the receiver on the cradle again.
>>
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He turns to you.

“Oh hey!” he says, shaking his head briskly “Bblbrlrrlrlrlrlrlrr. Sorry. Had to get the jitters outta my system after the whole, you know, almost exploding thing. Yeah. Coffee?” He hoists the carafe and points at it with his free hand.

>Sure
>Naw
>What the flying fuck did I just see
>Naw it's cool I just remembered I had a knee rotation appointment at Dr. Anywherebutinthisfuckinghut and I'm running late!
>>
>>34960328
>>What the flying fuck did I just see


Just

what
>>
>>34960328
>Find girlfriend
>Hide behind girlfriend until the Joe stops
>>
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Is this because I made the crack in the Strike Witches thread on /a/ about the guy being disappointing like planefag? Is this what was meant by me being 'shown later today'?

Because he is still a disappointment & so are you angelfap.
>>
>>34960419
Don't worry, the world doesn't revolve around you like that.
>>
>>34960328
>>What the flying fuck did I just see

oh got what the christ.
>>
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>>34960419

the planefag you knew is dead

long live

the planefag
>>
>>34960469
It's almost a shame. Because I'd be the sun & and just biding my time until I could kill EVERYONE.

>>34960524
Whatever you say cap'n.
>>
>i'll just refresh /tg/ one last time before i go to bed
>strike witches quest

You just made my tomorrow pre-emptively.

See you on the archive.
>>
>>34960240
Watch out for planefag!
/qtg/ public enemy number one!
He is the main one responsible for...

[X] SWQ
[X] SuWQ
[X] SW89
[X] TW89
[X] PJW89
[X] ALL THOSE OTHER NEVER ENDING FUCKING SPINOFFS
[X] Inserting a male PC into my pure lesbian waifu setting
[X] Killing questing in 2004,2011,2012,2013,2014
[X] Hostile take over of /qtg/
[X] Popularizing questing on /tg/, choaking the board with shitty quests
[X] Having "fun"
[X] Anonkun's white color scheme
[X] Encouraging GermanSchteel to write his shittier "fixed" SWQ:Galia
[X] Numerous false-flagging operations
[X] /qtg/ trolling
[X] Trolling Taleanon
[X] Removing Crusty Jones's internet connection
[X] Bullying EGO
[X] Bullying AzureNyan
[X] Bullying planefag
[X] Migration of FUCK QUEST to /tg/
[X] Gyoji imoutospamming
[X] Fluff
[X] Skub
[X] NTR in Psion quest
[X] Hexer's slow pace
[X] Making Merlin lewd
[X] Never delivering Keine lewds
[X] Deculture's delays
[X] Successful assassination of TalesAnon
[X] Successful assassination of Kota
[X] Attempted assassination of deculture by flooding the Philippines
[X] Making Rena suffer
[X] Causing Doc's injuries
[X] Starving the world's supply of bad dragon's with bulk purchases
[X] Diaz
[X] Introducing the .H264 10-bit profile in questing
[X] Zoe Quinn and Five Guys
[X] Pushing to ban lolis in Japan
[X] DDOS'ing nyaa.se
[X] Was responsible for Theros being the worst block ever
[X] Created Kamigawa
[X] Banned Golgari Grave Troll and Dread Return from Modern
[X] Taking over and directing Star of David Games
[X] Fetches in Modern
[X] Leads the IRC Cabal
[X] Vote spammed with the Cabal to make sure your waifu didn't win in that quest
[X] Purgin exhentai of all wani content (never forget)
[X] Made the Hugbox
[X] Killing SWQ
[X] Not Killing SWQ
[X] Never writing AWiY, ever
[X] Anti-skubbers
“[X] That”

His ultimate goal is to kill questing and /tg/!
However, you can stop him. Spread this list!
>>
>>34960240
#dead
>>
>>34960524
so does that mean SWQ won't be shit this time?
>>
>>34960577
How fucking long did it take to adapt this from /a/?
>>
OH LORD

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY

WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE

Whatever it is, I'll be joining this wild ride wherever it goes
>>
>>34960240
>What the flying fuck did I just see
>>
>>34960328
>>What the flying fuck did I just see
>>
>>34960577
Is "that" explicitly screwed up?
>>34960328
>What the flying fuck did I just see
>>
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>>34960328
>What the flying fuck did I just see
But *nicely*
>>
>>34960240
THAT'S NOT TRUE.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
>>
>>34960585
>any SWQ
>Not being shit

Come on man. It's why we're here.
>>
>>34960328
>>What the flying fuck did I just see
>>
GODDAMMIT! You update this just a week and a half before I leave for boot camp!

YOU BETTER HAVE SOME GOOD SHIT READY WHEN I GET BACK!
>>
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>>34960386
>>34960476

You blink away your impromptu nap as you stare at the clean-cut looking young Kennedy who's awaiting your answer.

“Sooooo no? Cool.” He dumps half the cup into one of those cheap tin “mugs” that come with the standard issue mess-kit and flops down in a folding chair next to Minna, slurping away. “So, what's with Miss Cat-atonia and Olive Overdrive?” He nods in the general direction of the bunks at the back of the Quonset hut, where Zuuchini and Sanya are both huddled under thin green GI blankets on their cots. They're both completely quiet, Sanya buried underneath her cover and Zuuchini just staring through the wall opposite.

“... shock,” you say with difficulty, because your face seems to have gone numb. “Uh... yeah. Shock.”

“Oh,” Joe says with a shrug, and turns back to his coffee, fishing a pen out of his pocket to stir it with.

You slowly swivel your gaze towards Minna, who's giving you a completely blank look. She shrugs, ever so slightly.

>Lets get the fuck out of here, eh?
>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>Go check on Sanya.
>>
HAIL TO THE KING!
>>
>>What the flying fuck did I just see
>>
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>>34960328

>What the flying fuck did I just see
>>
>>34960767
>Go check on Sanya.
>>
>>34960240
This can't be happening.
>>
>>34960767
>>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>>Go check on Sanya.

CHECK ON BOTH LITTLE GIRLS
>>
>>34960767
>Go check on Sanya.
>>
>>
>Go check on Sanya.
>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>Lets get the fuck out of here, eh?

All the above, in that order
>>
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>>34960767
>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>>
Holy shit. It's back.
>>
>>34960857

He only did this because I threatened to put an assbeating on him at AWA that would be indescribable in the languages of man.
>>
>>34960767
>>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>>Go check on Sanya.
>>
>>34960240
[x] Lick Cupcake's soulgem
[x] Knock Sanya and Eila up
>>
>>34960877
you should do it anyway, to ensure he keeps running this
>>
>>34960877
So he doesn't actually want to, and it will be even shittier than before. Good to know.

Why would you do that?
>>
>>34960899
You sir, are one disgusting fuck
>>
>>34960931
>what is a joke
>>
what the fuck is going on? I dont recognize these people
>>
>>34960877
So you'll sick your (parents) dogs on him?
>>
>>34960767
>>Go check on Sanya.
>>
>>34960951

Where you here for SWQ?

You might want to go archive diving.
>>
>>34960942
This thread.
>>
>>34960811
>>34960767
+1
>>
>>34960977
Different anon here and I was, SWQ was the first quest I posted in, I just lurked before it, man this is nostalgic as fuck
>>
>>34960877

Do it.

Sic ye sweater puppies on 'im
>>
>>34960977
>!!0ZviLFh59My
I was, but I only remember Yaeger, Sean, Ian, Bouncelord, hellcow, and the generals.

I do not remember joe.
>>
>>34960767
>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>Go check on Sanya.

LEETLE SEESTAHS
>>
>>34960951
Its from exactly where it left off, rngeezus exists.
>>
>>34961018

Remember the one who flew the fucking bomber turned into fucking flying bomb?
>>
>>34960767
>Lets get the fuck out of here, eh?
>Make a mental note to bounce on that fucker at some point. Man knows no respect.

>>34960951
So you are THAT new.
>>
>>34961018
the pilot of the fucktarded aphrodite project guided bomb in the last thread
>>
>>34961018
Joe showed up only in the last thread and the aborted one PF started before ditching.
>>
>>34961059
When was the last thread?
I don't remember.
>>
>>34961078
>>34961059
>>34961018
You know.

Joesph Kennedy Junior.
>>
>>34961048
OOOOOH now I remember. thanks.
>>
>>34960767
>Lets get the fuck out of here, eh?
>Go check on the Zuuchini.
>Go check on Sanya.

All three, this guy is a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.
>>
>>34960328
>What the flying fuck did I just see
>>
>>34961263
I'm starting to think that his loss wasn't so much of a loss after all.
>>
>>34961263
Implying we even have a basket to put the sandwiches in.
>>
>>34961059
Joseph P. Kennedy
>>
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>>34960767
Gotta check up on the best italian
>>
>>34961318
why are you pointing that out to me anon? I already know that
>>
>>34961311
And apparently he is looking at you as a means of gaining something, at your expense. In short, time to GTFO!
>>
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You vaguely recall that before you witnessed a piloted drone crash-land into Zuuchini's beach fort and unleash the titanic and terrifying might of TWENTY FUCKING THOUSAND POUNDS of torpex high explosive in a cataclysmic blast that tore the earth of England itself asunder and punched a towering hole in the ever-present English overcast, that you'd originally come to the beach to find Sanya and see if she was okay following that whole... ~thing~ with that sweaterized sexpot of a Witch at the party last night.

And after that splendid display of... whatever it was from Joe Kennedy there, you're feeling mighty interested in anything that moves you away from this goddamned table. You approach her bunk slowly, politely calling out. “Sanya?” The little cossack doesn't react, her thousand-yard stare intense and unbroken. “Saaaaan-yaaaaa?” She refuses to reply.

“SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~” you drone, putting a quaver in your voice in the most irritating possible fashion. If there's one thing a big brother is good at, its provoking a response from even the stoniest-faced younger girl.

But the littlest cossack just rolls over in her cot to stare the other way.

You frown.

This is bad.

>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.
>Try to comfort Zuuchini.
>Guilt-trip Sanya.
>PILOT CALLS FOR AID
>>
WHAT.

IS.

HAPPENING.

Th-this is madness. I've lost my mind and this is a hallucination... right?
>>
>>34961382
>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.
>>
>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>>
>>34961382
>>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.
>>
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>>34961342
U wot m8?
>>
>>34961382
>>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.
>>
>>34961393
We're all mad here.
>>
>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>>
>>34961382
>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.
>Give Sanya head pats and hair rufflings
>>
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>>34961382
>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.
>>
>randomly check the archive before my nightly fap session
>Strike Witches Quest 96
>Planefag returns. Joe Kennedy is a creepy son of a bitch.
>DISREGARD PORN, ACQUIRE WITCHES

Also,
>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>>
>>34961382
>>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.
>>
>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>>
>>34961417
Still not nest eyetalian.
>>
>>34961382
>>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>>
>>34961382
>PILOT CALLS FOR AID

This shit is way over our head
>>
>>34961382
>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.
>>
>>34961504
Of course not. Her familiar is a dog, not a bird. Why would she make a nest?
>>
WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS THIS WITCHCRAFT!

Planefag is back!

SWQ IS BACK!

THE P-61 IS BACK!
>>
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>>34961566
This is why. You have to take responsibility after all.
>>
>>34961657
>still no p-61 in warthunder
>>
>>34961566
One my phone. But Luciana is best Italian.
>>
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>>
>>34961677
It's a damn shame. At least we get the Tigercat in 1.43
>>
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>>34961659
Says you.

>Shoulda been on the pill, bitch!
>>
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>>34960240
My god. I had lost faith. I should have trusted you planefag.

Also fuck you for running this the night before i have to get up early for PT
>>
what about best german?
>>
>>34961760
Minna of course.
>>
>>34961760

already bonked
>>
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>>34961774
But that's not you spell Heidi.
>>
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>>34961760
Star of Afrika a best. Cupcakeski a close second.
>>
>Try to get a rise out of Zuuchini.

You recognize a cold shoulder when you see it, having had plenty of experience in English pubs, so you turn to the other cot behind you, containing the sullen Zuuchini, formerly of Fort Italy. You and Zuuchini have not always been on the best terms – in fact, you deliberately steered the propeller of a 2,000 horsepower RS-2800 Double Wasp right into her pillow fort, deliberately, a few days ago, and not ten minutes ago another pilot had slugged her in the gut before his plane literally vaporized her magnificent statement of Italian sovereignty and national character.

But you're sure you can get over that. You've defended your Kawaii Squad, and they you, from every beast that walks, crawls, slithers or salutes, from Hellcow to the Brass and even from Marines, the slimy coating be damned. You're a natural at this, and when you're turning on your tried and true big brother charm, no force of nature nor man nor Martian can restrain you.

“Zuuchiiiiniiiiiiiiiiii~” you drawl, shaking the rickety cot back and forth. “Whassuuuuuup?”

Complete silence greets your query.

“C'mon, spill.”

More silence.

“C'mon, kid, gimme sumthin.”

“Okay.”

You look down in time to see the muzzle of the revolver discharge into your groin.
>>
>>34961807
That's not how you spell Minna.
>>
>>34961832

ZUUCHINI PLS
>>
>>34961760
Erica, of course.
It was stated that if we had a kid, it would effectively be Loki made manifest
>>
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>>34961832
>double deliberately

FUCK
>>
>>34961760
Fast as a greyhound, tough as leather and hard as Krupp steel.
Same as ever.

>>34961837
Auch im kleinen Schwarzen passt der weiße Wal nicht in die Grüne Minna.
>>
>>34961832
Pray to God that is a blank, or a worst a soap round.
>>
>>34961832
Zuchinni wants to prevent the Youngspawn
>>
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>>34961760
>>
>>34961964
Luchinni! You've caused a time paradox!
>>
>>34961832
Planefag ending the quest by having all the girls hate his guts, calling it now
>>
>>34961964
It's too late for that now, there's already a cupcake in the oven!
>>
>>34961832
Looks like we're gonna sing soprano in the soap opera.
>>
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>>34961760
What about Rudel?
>>
Gertrude is best wish.

Minna won due to Widow status and pun.
>>
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>>34961757
Trust in the planefag! Faith in the planefag!
>>
>>34962028
And a cupcake in the cupcake!
>>
>>34961964
Minna is already pregnant too late.
>>
>>34962044
best strudel
>>
>>34962044
Pretty good, most german witches are pretty good
>>
>>34962080
WAIT SHIT I DONT REMEMBER THIS HAPPENING

OH GOD WHAT HAVE WE DONE
>>
>>34962080
With Cupcake's kid. Young's pregnant, too.
>>
>>34962028
You mean MC's oven, right? Because it's canon that cupcake got MC pregnant.
>>
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Your balls detonate.

There is no other word for the velocity at which the horrendous pain goes surging through your body, a blast-wave of searing mind-blanking agony that blows your thoughts out through your skull and compresses your brain stem into a little hard white ball, a single pure painful thought -

EEAERAHAERRBLHARFUAELRHYEAERLFUDFD -

You come around a few seconds later underneath Sanya's cot, a faint foam of spittle gathering around your mouth. Through the open door of the Quonset hut you can see the rapidly diminishing form of Luuchini, her skinny little legs a blur as she waves her revolver over her head, her other hand flipping you the bird as hard as she can.

As you stare at the retreating eye-talian through bleary eyes, a cascade of red hair cuts off your vision, followed by Minna's concerned face.

“Are you all right?”

>YEP YEP I'M TOUGH
>are you fucking serious right now
>MUST. KILL.
>>
>>34962138
And this, ladies and gentlemen (and I use the term loosely) is why you put a leash on a dog.
>>
>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
>>
>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
>>
>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>>
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>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>MUST. KILL.
>>
>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
>>
>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>>
>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
>>
>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
>>
>>34962159

>MUST. KILL.

Must chop up the Zucchini. Cook her into some pasta. Other horrible shit that our agonized mind cannot process right now.
>>
>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>>
>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>>
>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
*croak*
>>
>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>QUICK MINNA CHECK MY BALLS
>>
>>34962100
Talking about them, did they upgrade to Sturmvogel strikers?

>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
Less talk, more calling the doctor.
>>
I'm liking this solidarity.
>>
>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
Looks like Cupcake's going to be the surrogate father after all.
>>
>>34961382
>Lets leave her alone for now, she's been thinking about this for a while. Zuuchini's trauma is more recent.

VEG
>>
>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
>MUST. KILL.

There must be retribution for our best friends!
>>
>>34962232
Wait a sec.

What if Sloidah is decended from Cupcake?
>>
>>34962310
that makes a disturbing amount of sense.
>>
>>34962325
But slider is not like cupcake at all.
>>
>>34962339
No we've seen the strudel in SWQ'89. It's got the hots for mav.
>>
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>>34960240
HOLY
MOTHERFUCKING
SHIT
HE'S
BACK!
>>
>>34962367
Isn't that one Minna's child?
>>
>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now
>>MUST. KILL.
>>
>>34962367
Yeah, but its not Slider.
>>
>>34962310

I'll go ahead and save you guys some trouble, none of the main cast is descended from SWQ cast other than Katya.
>>
>>34962403

spoilsport
>>
>>34962396
Yeah, Minna's and Cupcake's.
>>
>>34962403
And Rosalie.
>>
>>34962427

And Rosalie. Good catch.
>>
>>34962447
Is Kenji a main?
>>
>>34962159
>are you fucking serious right now
*weeze*
Don't worry, Miyafuji is used to fixing testicles with Erica on base!
>>
>>34962403
Not even the Youngspawn?
>>
>>34962464
Oh god fucking damn you asshole you reminded me of that fucking doujin.

That
Fucking
Doujin
>>
>>34962468
>
He said main cast.
>>
>>34962464
That girl has no idea what the weight on her trigger is, does she?
>>
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>>34962464
GOD DAMMIT WHY DID YOU REMIND ME OF THAT
>>
>>34962464
panzer go home
>>
>>34962159
>>are you fucking serious right now

I've gone through a horrible break up, dropping out of uni, getting back into uni, and horrible, terrible changes in my life since the last SWQ.

I missed you so much fapangel. I missed you so much and you have no idea what this means to me.
>>
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>>34962464
>>34962492
>>34962528
>>34962533

I knew I kept this handy for a reason
>>
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Any other day, you might have made a show of being completely unperturbed by taking a hundred foot-pounds worth of energy right in the goddamned groin, just to spite the Navy pilot a few feet away, but there's really only one answer to the question just posed to you.

Reaching forward with clawed hands, you seize Minna's lapels and pull her face closer.

“HGNHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

“... so no, then,” she replies, pursing her lips.

“Hughrrrrhrrrrrr,” you wheeze, your vision starting to double up as tears of agony fill your vision. You fumble at your neck, catching the fine chain hung there, and slip your dog-tags out, trying to shove them in her face.

“Okay, okay,” she says soothingly, slipping her arms under yours and lifting you with a slight grunt of effort. Within a moment she's got you lying on Zuuchini's cot, your head cradled in her lap as she wipes away your tears.

“Feeling better?”

“Eaarrrfph,” you say encouragingly.

Minna holds up some charred thing between thumb and forefinger. “Looks like she used a bit of hard wax. The German Army used to use something similar as training rounds.” She flicks it away. “Guess she's a bit upset over that castle of hers, huh?”
>>
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>>34962633

The door to the hut swings open on rusty hinges to admit a tired, older-looking man in dusty GI duds and a battered green helmet, a clipboard in his hand. Through your haze of misery you recognize the characteristic expression of the long-suffering NCO. With everyone from eighteen to forty subject to the draft, plenty of fathers and accomplished middle-management types are in uniform and under arms, and they typically achieve NCO rank by dint of not being eighteen year olds with ready access to hilarious amounts of high explosive and poor supervision. If not for those thin-haired legions of men, half of humanities armed forces would be one-eyes and eight-fingered by now.

The man strides into the center of the room, flings his battered clipboard on the table before Kennedy, and takes off his helmet to inspect the wad of wax embedded on it. “Can anyone tell me why a girl with no pants on just shot me in the head while screaming VIVA ITALIA?”

“That's Luuchini,” Minna says apologetically. “She's kind of upset her fort got blown up, so she's running around shooting everyone, I guess.”

The poor NCO rubs at his eyes. “Fucking Sicily all over again.”
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>Lets try to rouse Sanya.
>Zuuchini is a menace. She must be stopped at all costs.
>Zuuchini has challenged your honor. GET READY TO D-D-D-UEL!
>>
Does anyone have the links to the '89 fapfics?
>>
>>34962656
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
while
>Lets try to rouse Sanya with headpats
>>
>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>>
>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>>
>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>while
>>Lets try to rouse Sanya with headpats

sure why not.
>>
>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
Comfy comfy thighs.
>>
>>34962656
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>>
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>>34962671

ghostdiva x Fronk is my OTP
>>
>>34962656
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Let's stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

Ain't no way we're letting a new guy get away from us without *some* shenanigans!
>>
>>34962656
seconding >>34962681
>>
>>34962656
>>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>>while
>>>Lets try to rouse Sanya with headpats

Enough room to share the Thighway to heaven with Sanya?
>>
>>34962723
I will write it for you if you don't stop writing this.
>>
>>34962656
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
HNGGRGHGHRNNNNR
>>
>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Let's stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>>
>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

>>34962723
Best.
>>
>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.

Lucchini can do what she wants. I'm not putting our testicles on the line for this.
>>
>>34962492
You mean this doujin?
http://g.e-hentai.org/s/c426f7eef1/418923-1
>>34962681
this
>>
>>34962681
I can support this
>>
>>34962656
>>Lets try to rouse Sanya.
>>
>>34962769
Yes. There is a reason Hartmann is now the witch I fear most.
>>
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>>34962746

Do you swear this on your life?
>>
>>34962464
But I'm not Panzer :D
>>
>>34962746

ANON PLS.

DO IT.
>>
>>34962829
Aye.
>>
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>>34962656

>Zuuchini is a menace. She must be stopped at all costs.
>>
>>34961677
>>34961733
I want my cat but the widdow is coming
>>
A Wizard is You update when you faggot.
>>
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>>34962909

IF YOU MAKE THIS HAPPEN, YOU SHALL RECEIVE FROM ME ALL THAT YOUR SICK, TWISTED HEART DESIRES.

YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR HIJINKS. YOUR CUTE WITCHES. YOUR TROLLING. YOUR BOUNCING. I WILL GIVE UNTO YOU THE LIKES OF WHICH FAGGOTS ON /TG/ HAVE ONLY DREAMT OF.

I SWEAR THIS ON MY SAITEX X-52 PRO.
>>
>>34962656
>>Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
That nice feeling for handling THAT HORRIBLE PAIN FEELING.
>>
>>34962963
ded
>>
>>34962963
When you turn 30
>>
> Minna-thighs are FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE FIND ME AN ICEPACK
>>
>>34963009
Anyone got a good George Takei reaction face for this?
>>
>>34963009

You know I'mma have to kill you now.
>>
We need to talk to Shirleytits again one of these years.
>>
>>34963042
cant kill that which has no life
>>
>>34963041
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nSKkwzwdW4
>>
>>34963052
Noooooo, You got it all wrong.

"You can't kill the Messiah."
Full-on Kane here.
>>
>>34963009
It'll be second on my list of fapfics to write. First one should be done and released for '89 on Tuesday.
>>
>>34962656
>Zuuchini has challenged your honor. GET READY TO D-D-D-UEL!
>I don't know where she's gone. But i do have a certain set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like her. I will find her. She will pay.
>>
Gods it's back. It's fucking back!
>>
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>>34963042

>kill planefag

PLANEFAG IS LOEV
PLAENFIG IS LIEF
>>
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>>34963042
>>
>>34963137
There's nothing better than two brothers arguing over something. There really isn't.
>>
>>34963154

Planefag.

Maus x who?
>>
>>34963050
She raped the widow :(
>>
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>>34963137
You have to stop him, Maus! You're our only hope!
>>
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>>34963042
If only you could instead give life back to the dead....
>>
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>>34963180
Pffft, Ghost is a terrible assassin. I should know.
>>
>>34962656
>When was the last time you toyed with the sanity of your crew? Less that twelve hours? Let's fix that.
>>
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>>34963163

Sometimes I argue with him just to argue with him.

Kinda like this girl I've been snapchatting with for the past few days. I'm pretty sure I've picked a fight with her just for fun at least three times now.

>>34963180

I'M TRYIN' NIGGER

>>34963171

155mm IED pls.
My favorite.
>>
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>Strike Witches Quest is back.
>Hell has frozen over.
>Everyone's going fucking nuts.
>planefag already receiving death threats.
>Smutfics being promised to the planefag in exchange for moar.
>Meanwhile, Young being shot in the balls.

I've waited for this day.
>>
>>34963233

Is she ready to jump your bones?
>>
>>34963233
>155mm IED pls.
You lewd son of a bitch. You know I've gotta work in EFPs now.
>>
>>34963233
>Sometimes I argue with him just to argue with him.
I do that with my older brother all the time too. Especially since we're staying at the same place. It's hard not to mess with him.
*highfives*
>>
Does this mean we'll finally get the Tofu archive or is that gone for good? I never did save any of the fapfics or writefaggotry from there.
>>
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>>34963175
Well then, we'll just have to rape her back.
>>
>>34963243
The only thing that could make it crazier is if we found out what Young's first name is.
>>
>>34963275
It's gone gone because Kota a shit.
>>
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>>34963255

probably but she's kind of chubby and her accent is atrocious. Plus i'm pretty sure she's got some form of very mild downs.

>>34963261

BITCH I AM AN EFP. ALL I NEED ARE SOME FUCKIN' NEEDLE NOSED PLIERS YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>34963267

>pic related
>>
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>>34963280
>HAM-BAH-GAH
>>
Minnathighs are nice. This is nice. Lets stay here and talk to the nice NCO.
>>
Holyshitplanefag'salive?!?!?!?

Today is a good day.
>>
>>34963482
If he'll update AWiY the week will be complete.
>>
Now Fap Angle just needs to get a twitter for this seeing as he's going to keep writing it
>>
It's been way too long. I can't get back into this.
>>
>>34963482
>planefag
>good
Lel.
>>
You close your eyes with a miserable sigh and let Minna stroke her delicate fingers through your hair. Her bare thighs are warm and full and oh so firm under your head. If not for the awful throbbing pain in your groin as a horrible blood-filled welt rises down there, you could almost be happy here.

“What happened in Sicily?” Minna asks, to fill the conversational gap.

“Ugh,” the poor NCO mutters, slumping into a chair and accepting some joe from Joe. “Well, the Italians would do this thing where they'd run into the road and fire a few rounds at the Martians. The Martians would fire back, and the Italians would run into a building or something to make a final stand.”

“... and?”

The NCO takes a noisy slurp of coffee. “Then the Martians would call in the air, or some rocket-mortars, and that was that. Assuming the house didn't have Sicilians in it, in which case they saved them the ammo.”

Joe cracks his neck noisily as he tries to recline in the rickety folding chair. “Yeah, but that's just the resistance fighters-”

“When they did it on a divisional level, they'd first fail utterly at fire-and-maneuver on every possible level, and then get driven back into one of their fortresses,” the NCO explains. “The Fascists spent a lot of dough since the late 1800s fortifying that rock, against outsiders and the Sicilians themselves.”

“Like... castles?” Joe asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yeah. And modern fortresses with eight-inch naval guns behind concrete revetments three meters thick. Overlapping fields of fire – you name it.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead again.

“And those...” Minna asks.
>>
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>>34963261

Isn't Mouse a treadhead?

DON'T FORGET THE "LONG ROD PENETRATORS"

YEAAAAAAHHH
>>
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>>34963703

2lood
>>
>>34963665

“Got the shit blown out of them,” the NCO says miserably. “Which wouldn't have been so bad, except for that asshole. That fucking squeaky-toy asshole. You know what carries right over an artillery barrage so loud it beats your eardrums in until you shove pistol bullets into your ears as plugs? High-pitched things. Tank tracks squeaking, whistles, and that mother-fucking voice.” He tosses his coffee back in one swallow, his sullen wrath visible. “From his lips to a reporters ears, up on that hill, high wide and handsome. Oh he carried on, you should've seen him. And the laughter.” He's staring at the opposite wall now, his gaze more vacant than Sanya's, his haggard eyes betraying a man who's had to put up with more bullshit than mere mortals should ever venture. “I came to Italy for the monuments,' he'd say, and start laughing again. Or 'if Ceasar could see you dumb fucks right now, I don't know if he'd be laughing with me or shitting down your stupid wop throats.' Oh god. He had a blast. A god damned blast. I don't think I've ever seen the miserable bastard as happy as he was then.”

The NCO's head hits the table with a dull thud.

>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>other?
>>
>>34963703

No, he's the dipshit that decided playing with explody shit was a good idea.
>>
>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>>
>>34963807
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

What other lesson could we possibly draw from this?
>>
>>34963807
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
of course, this gets vocalized as HHHRRNGRRRRHN
>>
>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>>
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

Ignore the fact that the electrified doorknob shocked you last time.

Surely, this time, the door you open, and you will get the delicious cake!
>>
>>34963827

But you did so too.

You know.

That 'weeping TNT' sticks story
>>
>>34963777

So tell us Mouse, does your gun sling a biiig package, or is it rifled for her pleasure?
>>
>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>>
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>>34963807
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>>
>>34963703
Don't worry, Mouse's anus will be ravaged.

Sidenote: It's not very easy to find the basics of bomb defusing on the internet, so this probably won't be very accurate. Or timely.
>>
>>34963807
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>>
>>34963807
>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>other?
Stroke Minna's thighs
>>
>>34963807
>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>>
>>34963807
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!

>eye-talians
>doing anything useful
>>
>>34963857
>weeping TNT

TNT is literally just nitroglycerin stabilized in a fine sawdust compound. In temps high enough, the nitro kind of leeches out of it. The sticks actually sweat drops of nitro.

Anyone who touches something like that probably has to walk in a wheelchair because their gonads preclude normal walking.
>>
>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!

Be good to all little sisters
>>
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>>34963827

KEEPING YOU SAFE, ONE LONG WALK AT A TIME.

>>34963861

Why not both?
>>
>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
Turn to Sanya
Rope her along
>>
>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
Yeah, I really want to go with both of these two. Knowing /tg/ we'll have all three tied together.
>>
>>34963807

>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRHNNNNNNNNNG?!
>>
>>34963807
seconding >>34963900
>>
>>34963908
wait, that shit was nitro?
>>
>>34963807
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>>
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>>34963930
I never thought I'd see Maus and Planefag getting all lewd with each other.
>>
>>34963960
The big breakthrough with TNT was the stabilizing agent. That's the sawdust.
>>
>>34963807
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>>
>>34963988
And then TRUE Maus pairing was revealed!
>>
>>34963856
When you do it repeatedly, it's called science.
>>
>>34963960

Yeah.
It's pretty cool.
If I didn't know better, I'd venture to guess that those crates are still somewhere out on the farm, but last I heard they'd bulldozed the whole thing (and it didn't fucking detonate), so I'm pretty sure county mounties or state patrol or something got their bomb squad out there.
>>
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>>
>>34963807
>Clearly we need to keep obliterating her stationary defenses until she learns her fucking lesson, because her own people ain't gonna teach her!
>>
>>34963807
>>My god, Zuuchini's fort thing is actually central to her sense of national pride and her motivations as a soldier!
>>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
>>
>>34964017

No, check it on google earth, the tin shed is still there. I assume they've opened it up and looked inside, but it's Iowa, so who the fuck knows?
>>
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>>34964056

Nyoh my god.
>>
<+RantingRavager> Something blew up. Fapangel and Maus are flirting. You can penetrate the sexual tension with a bad-dragon dildo
>>
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>people voting for all the options

I'm going to take this as YOUNG REPENTS FOR NOTHING.

Also the thread updater is so goddamn nice for running busy threads oh my god
>>
>>34964091
Also the thread updater is so goddamn nice for running busy threads oh my god
welcome to the future.
Also
>mfw 278 posts already.
>>
>>34963807
>My god, its not just because she's twelve years old - ALL eye-talians are this awful! I've been too hard on her!
Pilot logic, everyone
>>
>>34963807
> Clearly we need to take revenge for poor abused Lefty and Righty... once we GET THEM SOME FUCKING ICE FOR FUCK'S SAKE
>>
Who's the best Frenchwitch?
>>
>>34964248
Nunners is
>>
>>34964248
Everyone likes Perrine
>>
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>>34964272
da

>>34964339
Nobody.
>>
>>34964091
Trude is best witch
>>
>>34964272
There is another.
>>
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>>34964375
> not cupcake
Hannas are nice too
>>
You look up at Minna through watering eyes. “You see? Eye-talians. EYE. TALIANS.” You shudder with disgust. “They can't be helped! They're just awful like that! You should clap that little harpy in irons!”

Minna quirks a brow at you. “Irons? What, you want to throw her in the Tower of London?”

“MY GROIN, WOMAN! IT CRIES OUT FOR JUSTICE!”

“It can't be that bad-”

“Wanna see the welt?” you ask, undoing your belt buckle.

“We've got Yoshika on hand, so don't think that's getting you out of your responsibilities,” she says with a wink. That successfully shuts down your brain stem for several seconds as you cinch your belt tight again while you still can.

From outside, another gunshot sounds, followed by a high-pitched yelp.

Minna sighs. “I really should go fetch her.” She slips her thighs out from under your head... and slips, and slips, and slips, those silky firm muscular legs seeming to go on forever, yet ending far too soon. She runs her fingers through your short hair, her fingernails scratching your scalp and sending a lovely shiver down your spine, then strides towards the door.

“Gonna go help her, or are you letting your girl face down the Italian Imbroglio alone?” Joe asks with a smirk.

>I'm wounded, mac. I ain't hobblin anywhere.
>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8
>>
>>34964473
>>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?

Fucking Navy faggot. THEY'RE ALL FAGGOTS.
>>
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>>34964473

I should clarify that hobbling after Minna is an option.
>>
>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>
>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
DIVISION OF LABOUR
>>
>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8

Honestly Minna would have more luck than Young would.
>>
>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>
>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
Navy Faggots!
>>
>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.

Time for your own sexy lap-pillow
>>
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>>34964473
>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>
>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
We should get the bars of soap and get revenge while were at it.
>>
>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8

Minna wrangles zucchini better

due to tits probs
>>
>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>
>>34964473
>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8
>>
>>34964437
Close 2nd for me. Convince me otherwise, I'm willing to change my opinions.
>>
>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
Let's see how he talks after being shot by a training round in the groin at point-blank range.
>>
>>34964473
>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8
>>
>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
THROW HIM IN TO THE BATHS!
>>
>>34964473
>>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8
She can fucking snap people in half with witchly super strength. She doesn't need some crippled gnome helping.
>>
>>34964473
>hobble after that fine ass redhead
>>
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>>34964562
Because love trumps mere lust.
>>
We need witch versions of Maus and Merc.

This is non-negotiable.
>>
>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>
>>34964473
>“We've got Yoshika on hand, so don't think that's getting you out of your responsibilities.”

Is she referring to our nightly responsibilities to visit Pound Town?
>>
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>>34964473
>hobble after minna
>>
>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cocksuck, here.
>>
>>34964473
>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8
>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>
>>34964629
Yes. Our responsibilty to give her a child that isn't from cupcakeski.
>>
>>34964473
>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>Minna can handle that shitbird fine whatchoo talkin m8
>>
>>34964603
Are you saying the Lusty Nun is incapable of love?

...but I do agree in some way. Explain more, and in greater detail please.
>>
>>34964629
There's a reason there are so many youngspawn in '89

Minna wants the D. Hard.
>>
>>34964473
>>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.
>>
>>34964612
Maus as a witch. EOD by activating a shield and shooting the bomb. Fund it!
>>
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>>34960240

The fuck?

You mean I actually have to finish something I started over two years ago?

God, what a dick.

I had to go dig this out of my archive folder since I have been waiting until you came back to post it in a relevant thread. There were archeologists and dust involved. We lost some good men.

Good to have you back.
>>
>I've gotta talk to the littlest cossack, here.

YOUNG'S ACHING BALLS DEMAND THAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM.
>>
>>34964473
>NAVY SAYS WHAT!?
>>
>>34964677
Well obviously. Nobody wants a soft dick.
>>
>>34964655
>>34964677

Time to eat lots of fruit and keep well hydrated.
>>
>>34964715
KILLY STICKS!
>>
>>34964715
God Bless
>>
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>>34964272
Mah nigga
>>
>>34964715
Are...are you gonna finish the big group picture in front of the Widow?
>>
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>>34964715
>drawfag is still alive
>HE FINISHED THE BEST EVER PICTURE EVER

brb changing pants
>>
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>>34964715
>he's flipping the double bird at the same time

AHAHAHAHAHAH AHA HA

AHA

AHAAH A

AHA
>>
>>34964715
Absolutely lovely. Its nice to have everyone coming back.
>>
>>34964774
Almost every part about her caters to most of my fetishes.

Georgette is nice and matronly, but there's something about Nungesser, man.
>>
>>34964666
There is love, and then there is adorable love. You get what I'm saying?
>>
>>34964855
dante go home
>>
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>>34964715
Very nice~
>>
>>34964852
dunno she has pretty lewd taste in nightware
>>
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>>34964890
>>
>>34964890
I like to imagine all heal witches have a thing for S&M in them. It just goes together so well.
>>
>>34964907

...Hooooo shit. Okay, a different set of fetishes. I'll acquiesce only that they are both different, but equally Best Frenchies.
>>
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>>34964929
>implying Red will stick to just S&M

hue
>>
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>>34964964
Well, maybe you shouldn't have gone with Janice then!
>>
>>34964964

lewwwwwddbrrrrrroooooo
>>
>>34964929
I never said a thing about S&M, just lewd nightware.
>>
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>>34964964
Go on...
>>
>>34964964
RED X RAIKOV OTP
>>
>>34964989
Fuck you. You can't spell Janice without Nice.
>>
>>34964964
red is so lewd
>>
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>>34964929
She's just into rather mature lingerie.

>>34964961
Nungesser is the Passion, Georgette is the Romance.
>>
>>34964929

it's perhaps fortunate then that the closest healwitch to Frank is Goose.

Maybe unfortunate for mav and youngspawn though...
>>
>>34965080
Agreed. I am happy we were able to come to dick-consensus.
>>
>>34965004
I've already got 3 things to do, 2 for 89 and one for planefag.

Eh, I can always add to the pile of things to do. Give me a pairing.
>>
>>34965091
ihavenofaceandimustreact.png
>>
>>34965091
But if a witch likes S&M, then does that make her a healwitch? Or is this like Squares, Rectangles, Rhombuses, and other Quadrilateral special condition shapes?

"Because some of Frank's witches have special shapes, if you know what I mean...."

I feel dumb.
>>
>>34965191

Raikov and Red and pierce
>>
“Haw haw,” you retort. “Why should I?”

“You always let women fight your battles for you? Or are you afraid of a pint-sized wop?” Joe slurps his coffee loudly and squints at you.

You narrow your eyes at him, not understanding his sudden baiting, and not much caring. “I'm supposed to take tactical advice from a swabbie?”

Joe's big happy-go-lucky permasmile evaporates like the morning mist. “What? I didn't catch that.”

“Am I,” you say slowly, slowly fighting into a very painful sitting position, “going to tell me I should take tactical advice from a bomber pilot so incompetent that if it wasn't for gravity, he couldn't hit the ground?”

You can hear the tin handle of his cheap mess-kit mug creak from across the room.

“Fuck me, son, you didn't even hit the right fucking landmass!”

Joe Kennedy laughs again, a new, wider grin crawling over his face like a spider. “Wow. Wow, you sure got a mouth on yuh, doncha?” The dour NCO is sipping at his own coffee and glancing between you with the long-suffering look of someone about to play Dad again.

“Now if you'll excuse me,” you say with as much decorum as you can muster, “I need to talk to littlest cossack, here.”

“Sure,” Joe snorts, turning his back to you and picking up a newspaper from the bin near the table. “Talk to the commie cunt, see where that gets yuh, sure.”

>Talk to Sanya
>Talk to – the fuck is that supposed to mean!?
>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?
>Wait a minute. Wait. Wait. Think.
>>
>>34965191
How about the night Young and Minna conceived Kitty?
>>
>>34965191
Rex and Ghost please.
>>
>>34965224
>>Talk to Sanya
>>
>>34965091
And another idea for the pile.
>>
>>34965224
>>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?
>>
>>34965246
+1
>>
>>34965224
>Talk to Sanya
>>
>>34965200

No, talent has nothing to do with fetishes, though I imagine someone somewhere would be studying that shit if it was common knowledge that a disproportionately high number of healwitches liked S&M.

....how did we get on this subject again?
>>
>>34965224
>>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?
>>
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>>34965224
>Talk to Sanya
Sanya is olev.
>>
>>34965224
>>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?

Oh no he didn't.... aw shit.
>>
>>34965224
>Wait a minute. Wait. Wait. Think
>>
>>34965191

Ghostdiva x Rex
>>
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>>34965224
>>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?

WHAT.
>>
>>34965224
>>Talk to Sanya
Joe is smalltime
>>
>>34965224
>>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?

LET US COMMENCE TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THE SWABBIE FUCK
>>
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>>34965224
>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?


TIME FOR BEATINGS!
>>
>>34965224
>Talk to the commie cunt
>commie cunt
>cunt

Could have lived with commie or dirty commie but that? Nah.

>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?
>>
>>34965200
>>34965286

Come on, how can you become a healwitch without a healthy appreciation of pain and suffering?

To cure what ails ye, ye must understand that which ails ye.
>>
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AND NOW, I PROUDLY PRESENT PLANEFAG'S FAVORITE POST FROM /TG/

http://archive.moe/tg/thread/32983486/#32992555
>>
>>34965258
>>34965246
>>34965219
They go on the pile.
>>
>>34965246
This. This is good.
>>34965224
>Talk to Sanya
Fuck him, he's smalltime.
>>
>>34965224
>Talk to – the fuck is that supposed to mean!?
>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?

There is a reason this is listed twice. Nigga here just stepped up on your fam. Time for him to get:
> [x] Tyrannosaurus REKD.
>>
>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?

You talking shit about my cossack?
>>
>>34965191
PRETENDER
>>
>>34965224
>Talk to Sanya
The faggot will get his, we can plan it later.
>>
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>>34965224
OH SHIT JOE YOU DONE IT NOW
>>
>>34965224
>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?

Oh HELL NO! You do NOT insult our little sister like that you ass-backwards, pompous, over-educated, privileged rich boy fuck!
>>
>>34965364
I'm the guy that's writing for planefag.

But there can only be one.
>>
>>34965191
Maus, Ghostdiva, MercCom x FapAngel
>>
>>34965224
>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?
>>
Ya know, we could always throw him back to the Brits.
>>
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>mfw SWQ is happening
>>
>>34965399
Only if they are all witches.
>>
>>34965286
the better question is why did it take so long for us to get to this subject.
>>
>>34965191
Powers/Janice/Pierce
>>
>>34965224
>Talk to – the fuck is that supposed to mean!?
>>
>>34965286
ADD, /tg/, happenings, SWQ, and ADD
>>
>>34965345
Keep in mind, Kitty is the youngest of the Younspawn. So Young and Minna would have likely been in their mid-to-late 40s when she was conceived.

What are the other stories you're doing?
>>
>>34965450
I leave that up to you to describe, unless you want descriptions.

Situation: FapAngel is writing in her room. All three start contributing, getting more lewd as they continue.
>>
>>34965364
>>34965394
lewdbroxFapficAnon OTP
>>
>>34965514

Maus contributing a 155mm piece
>>
>>34965480
Ghostdiva/Fronk for planefag
Slider/Ice and Fronk/Wendy for '89
>>
>>34965514
>her
>>
>>34965224
>>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?
>>
>>34965480
Try late '50s
>>
>>34965538
With an Explosively Formed Penetrator, if you know what I mean.
>>34965556
You know you want to be moefied.
>>
>>34965538
Like that GuP doujin with the 37mm shell used as a dildo?
>>
>>34965569
God, I bet they had like a dozen spawn, given how pent up Mina is.
>>
>>34965605
MOVING TO MARS!
>>
>>34965569
That's physically impossible.
>>
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>>34965594
>using a 155mm shell as a dildo
>>
>>34965556

Don't look at me man.

>>34965450
>Only if they are all witches.
>They are all witches
>all witches

No exceptions
>>
>>34965556
You run a quest with magical girls on /tg/. Don't even pretend you wouldn't get turned on as fuck by reading fapfic about female you.

You have the perfect level of narcissism and homosexual tendencies.
>>
>>34965605
A whole squadron of Youngspawn. Mother of God.
>>
>>34965224
>Talk to the FUCK did you just say?

In the original timeline, Project Aphrodite killed Joe Kennedy.
In SWQ, his own big fat fucking mouth killed Joe Kennedy.

He talked shit about Sanya.
HE. FUCKING. DIES.
>>
>>34965619
You're assuming they care about minor things like that. I doubt it.
>>
>>34965538
>Maus and 155mm
that nigga ain't arty
>>
>>34965619
Magic, man. Ain't gotta explain shit.
>>
>>34965647
He's EOD. I suppose he's seen his share of 155 shells in IEDs.
>>
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>>34965631
Proceed.
>>
>>34965647
155mm shells are common IEDs.
>>
>>34965631
Country Grown Shells
>>
>>34965637
Can you imagine what that house would have been like with 8 hyperactive young/minnaspawn in it growing up.
>>
>>34965224
>Wait a minute. Wait. Wait. Think.
No, no. We get Sanya out of here first.
THEN we get our crew in on this. And the mechanics. And the press. And we tell them that Ol' Kennedy's Boy is at it again, calling Sanya such names that she just curls up in her room and cries herself to sleep.
>>
>>34965619
so is intentionally using magic to explode a light bulb on accident. That, however, has happened at least twice, and will likely happen again.
>>
>>34965703
Now add the possibility of cupcakeski spawn too. Yeah.
>>
>>34965723
Cupcakeski/Fronk
>>
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>>34965695
>>34965686
>>
>>34965703
Like, Minna spawned octuplets, or like one every few years?

I'd imagine they'd start doing buttstuff to ameliorate the situation sometime after the 3rd.
>>
>>34965605
>When you finally meet Minna and Young in SW89, you see that she seems to be quite relaxed and not as tense as she looked in those old photos of her at Barin.
>You also notice how tired and drained Young looks compared to his mugshots and portraits. But he seems to have this shit-eating grin perpetually plastered on his face.
>They are holding hands quite openly as they chat to you in the hall.
>>
>>34965748
Every few years, odds are there was at least one set of twins though.
>>
>>34965748
i remember the old "young is president" shit

i wish he was, it'd be great to watch him freak out in political situations, then punch someone important in the face and run away
>>
>>34965741

>FapAngel trying to write in her notebook, but very distracted.
>Merc and Ghost furiously making out on stacks of papers, "Exchanging Ideas."
>Maus lounging around nude, complaining about the heat.
>>
>>34965619
Witches. And Healwitch assitance.

MAGIC YO
>>
>>34965784
Twin here, they would literally die. One set is nothing but pain and suffering. My parents didn't get a full night's sleep until my brother and I were 2 years old.
>>
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>>34965784
>inb4 twins run in Minna's family
>inb4 she just happened to be skipped and is the odd single
>>
>>34965829
>Minna has a twin
Threesome time
>>
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>>34965844
>>
>>34965821
Maybe they had help in raising their brood from other witches? "Auntie" Cupcakes, Trude, and etc.
>>
>>34965770
>All of the 501st witches and their lovers at a 50 year reunion dinner
>Minna excuses herself every hour or so
>Young always excuses himself about a minute later
>They both come back, a little disheveled
>Everyone studiously ignores this
>>
>>34965803
No wonder we lost Vietnam
>>
>>34965880
I thought you said Young leaves every minute.

>Did he just seduce the whole 501?
>>
>>34965862
It would be necessary.
>>
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>>34965908
>young spawns a dynasty that will dominate American and European politics and militaries for generations to come
>>
>>34965880
>Bathrooms smell faintly of squid.
>Closet doors are broken to fuck.
>Mattresses are all damp and ripped up.
>Stair banisters all slightly damp.
>Walls all have holes and cracks in them.
>Showers and faucets are running for some reason.
>Washing Machines and Driers broken.
>>
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That last epithet whistles through the air and jabs its dart into someplace very, very sensitive. You rise from the cot, painfully straightening to your full height, and glare across the room at the smirking prick.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

“You deaf or something?” He flips his hand at you, not bothering to look away from his paper. “Go fuck around with your commie, see I I care.”

He jolts in surprise as your hands come down on the lightweight folding table, making the whole thing bounce a few inches. You fling it out of the way, sending it clattering against the opposite wall. Joe rustles his paper with irritation, dragging it into his lap for support, still not looking at you. “Her dad's a Red, deal with it.”

“Not that,” you grate through the aching welt on your groin. “That other thing you said.”

“Cunt?” he says instantly, looking up at you with a completely empty expression, the eyes of someone with no interest in the noise you're making. “What of it? Everyone's talking about how she played tonsil hockey wi-” he's unable to finish before you've hauled him clear out of his chair with one hand balled in his shirt, your other coming back in a fist. “Do it,” you hiss as his hands jerk belatedly for the 1911 in the regulation shoulder holster most pilots wear; the pistol's on his left breast where he can't draw without you seeing or easily blocking it. “I dare you, motherfucker. Draw on me and you'll be brushing your teeth with a fucking broom, you hear me?”
>>
>>34965941
>Maintenance man is the most well payed dude on base, despite constantly losing his keys
>>
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>>34965989

“Me?” Joe asks, his eyes completely empty, his tone bored. “Does your dad like his job?”

“What!?”

“Does. Your. Dad. Like. His. Job?” he asks, enunciating slowly for your benefit. “How about your mother? Do they like their life? Their financial security? Do they own a home, or just rent? Doesn't matter either way, really. For that matter, do they like owning or renting in the city they currently live in?”

“Speak straight before I knock your mouth crooked,” you snarl, balling your hand up in his shirt.

He stares you dead in the eye, completely unimpressed. “I'm asking if you know who the FUCK I am, little man. Because I know who I am – I'm connected, I'm rich, and I've got a long fucking memory.”

>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>COUNTER. NAVY IS SMALLTIME. SMALLTIME!
>>
>>34965803
>President Young
>Considered one of the most popular presidents of all time in the states for his down-to-earth views and general concern for the life of the average citizen.
>Considered one of the most insane, confusing and inappropriate presidents by all the other countries for his bizarre habits whilst visiting.
>Still considered relatively popular overseas for his habit of punching unpopular political figures unapologetically.
>Any televised debate between Senator Young and his opponents had to be mediated by a professional boxing referee after he suplexed his opponent for calling on spending on education to be cut.
>All of President Young's aides have various qualifications in martial arts and hand to hand combat.
>All of them are ready to beat the crap out of him should he get out of hand, on the orders of his wife.
>>
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>>34965989
DRAW SIR! I SHALL HAVE SATISFACTION!
>>
>>34966031
AGGRESS NOW
>>
>>34966031
>>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
I DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>>
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>>34966031
>>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.

IT'S ON NOW, JOE.
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.

Being rich means he can pay for the dental work he's going to need after this.
>>
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>>34966031
>>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>>
>>34966031
AGRESS
>>
>>34966031
>>COUNTER. NAVY IS SMALLTIME. SMALLTIME!

YOU WILL GET YOURS LATER, NAVY FAGGOT.

>NAVY

WAIT, DON'T WE KNOW SOMEONE IN THE NAVY? SIC MACK ON THIS TURD.
>>
>>34966031
>>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.

There is no other way this can end.
>>
>>34966031
>>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>>
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>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
DADDY WON'T SAVE YOU NOW.
>>
>>34966031
>>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>>
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>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>>
>>34966031
>>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
> threatening the man who just received an armful of medals
Joe's a special kinda stupid, isn't he?
>>
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>>34966031
Why not both!

>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>COUNTER. NAVY IS SMALLTIME. SMALLTIME!

Parry and riposte!
>>
>>34966031
And how will it look when you attack a Medal of Honor recipient for protecting his squadron mate/little sister, and being backed by the CO? No amount of connections will save his ass!
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>COUNTER. NAVY IS SMALLTIME. SMALLTIME!
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.

"That's nice. I have more connections than you, and I saved your fucking life. You apologize, or you'll look like a hockey player."
>>
>>34966031
>>COUNTER. NAVY IS SMALLTIME. SMALLTIME!
He is a shit of a man who thinks insulting and demeaning valuable allies (and friends) is a worthwhile pass-time.

He can go screw himself. Just get him thrown out of Barin ASAP. We don't need his poisonous attitude and shitty demeanor.
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
Let's see if his daddy's pockets are deep enough to get him out of the trouble he's digging himself into now.

Because while he's got connections and deep pockets, his family's made a lot of enemies over the years. Enemies that may consider this to be their one big chance to take their common foe down.
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
With >>34966071

Call in some favors with the ranking Navy officer we know. We DID let him toss Maloney off his ship at gunpoint.
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>>
>>34966031
>>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
"You're connected and rich, huh? Good, you are going to need some amazing surgury soon. Long memory? Excelent! Then you will remember for all time how not to talk about Sanya, you cum sucking squid"
>>
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>>34964799

>IMPLYING I EVER LEFT.

Alternate punchline

>IMPLYING YOU CAN KILL THAT WHICH HAS NO LIFE.

>>34964779

I am now, but it will be a bit. Just be the 3 stooges unless I start feeling ambitious. Will be pissed if I have to wait another 2 years to post it though.

In unrelated news, is there somewhere where all the art that was made for the quest got posted (besides my crap)? I keep seeing new stuff cropping up from time to time and my OCD demands satisfaction.

>>34966043

Maybe. Lets see how this rolls out.
>>
>COUNTER. NAVY IS SMALLTIME. SMALLTIME!

Y'know, you start making threats, and suddenly, your gun just kinda explodes in its holster, and takes most of your shoulder, and neck with it. Tragic accident. 'I guess he just forgot to do proper maintenance on his guy, huh.'

YOUNG JUST HAD A PRESS CONFERENCE WITH A GENERAL, FUCKER. YOU WANT TO STEP UP THE BIGTIME, SHIT-TALKER?
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
Connections? Connections won't save his Kennedy face or Kennedy hair.

I still say we toss him to the Brits, they have long memories too.
>>
>>34965537
Wanna work together on this, lewdbro?
>>
>>34966031
We must call Joe a "bitch nigga."
>>
>>34966071
This.
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.

Restraint went out the window for me when he insulted the Adorable Cossack.
>>
>>34966126
Deep pockets won't stop the brass from hanging the guy who attacked their newest hero. This included, Patton, Rommel, CO/girlfriend Minna, the Chief of the Air Force, XO of the USS California, and others.

He is quite fucked.
>>
>>34966143
It was all in the archive when that was a thing.
>>
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>>34966176
>XO of the USS California

Compared to the others in your list, Mack is pretty goddamn smalltime.
>>
>>34966204
Fellow MoH recipient, and an admiral resides on the vessel. He has some major pull here.
>>
>>34966143
Not as far as I know. It's mostly SW89 related, although PJW has picked up a drawfag of its own. People just save as they go.
>>
>>34966031
>AGGRESS. NAVY MUST LEARN ITS PLACE.
>>
>>34966226
>and an admiral resides on the vessel.

We haven't seen one yet.

>Fellow MoH recipient

I don't think you're understanding just how much pull Joe Kennedy has.
>>
>>34966226
Go away Dante.
>>
I have the pics of the girls wearing aviators somewhere.
>>
>>34966284
>I don't think you're understanding just how much pull Joe Kennedy has.

Nowhere near enough.
>>
>>34966284
Not that Aon, but Mack IS second-in-command of a BATTLESHIP. It has big guns and is nearby. Probably not the reason other Anon was thinking,
>>
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>>34966314
>>
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>>34966356
More importantly, they're wearing PANTS
>>
>>34966314

>>34966356 Beat me to it, so have this instead.
>>
>>34966311
Sorry, you have wrong number! Thanks for playing!
>>
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>>34966348
>second-in-command of a BATTLESHIP.

What's he gonna do, lead a mutiny? The XO doesn't do shit without the captain telling him.
>>
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>>34966356
>>
>>34966356
aye, that's one, where's the other without the glasses?
>>
>>34960240
OH SNAP!!!!!! Planefag is back!!!!
>>
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>>34966391
>>
>>34966391
Thighs. Unf.
>>
>>34966348
Not to mention our favorite MC has recently got in the good graces of its Marine detachment, and crew since we got Minna to allow them shore leave. Nothing scarier than a bunch of pissed of and well armed Marines!
>>
>>34966390
I dunno now. I'm tired. Brain not making sense anymore.

Thank you planefag for returning SWQ to us. Night people.
>>
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>>34966419
Here you go.
>>
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>>34966380
Witches in pants are the best.
>>
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>>34966426
>>
>>34966471
why does this look horribly anatomically wrong
>>
>>34966465
Yes! Now someone needs to post the 'in the closet' one.
>>
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>>34966426
I know dude, never thought I'd live to see the day.

Now I want to know who managed to get all the shit required for his summoning.
>>
>>34966471
Amen.

I could go for leggings, spats, thigh-highs, or any sort of leg-covering.
>>
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You take a long, sweet moment to appreciate that he's not just threatening you, or your growing stable of pseudo-adopted little girls, but your actual, genuine, flesh-and-blood sister and family and everything.

You nod at him, your mouth in a grim, tight line. “Yeah, I know who you are.”

Then you slug him right in his empty self-assured fucking FACE, releasing his shirt and letting him stagger back into the narrow counter with the coffeemaker.

“You're a shitbag,” you say levelly, and dive in just as he swings around with the carafe in his hand. You jerk aside and turn your head at the last second, saving you from a faceful of shattered glass, but the scalding hot contents still splash over your face, burning you and forcing your eyelids closed in reflex. Reeling back with a snarl, you drop into a fighting stance and open your eyes just in time to see the dark muzzle of a pistol being leveled at your head.

You stare at Joe Kennedy in wide-eyed disbelief.

He stares at you in wide-eyed disbelief.

The NCO pressing the revolver to Joe's head looks at Joe with lidded-eye hostility.

“Mister Kennedy,” he says softly, “just what the fuck did you think you were doing?”

“You witnessed it,” Joe says levelly, his breathing steadying again as he regains his mental feet, already analyzing the situation. “He instigated a fight, then attacked me. Crossed the room to attack me, even. Self-defense. I'm a high-value target and my father and family are no friends of the Communists, and he's consorting with one,” he says quickly and smoothly. “It'd stick.”

A surge of terror bolts down your spine as you realize that Kennedy will shoot you dead the instant that NCO moves that revolver away – and quite likely get away with it.

“Now, Mister,” Joe says levelly. “Take that fucking gun away from my head. I'll take this asshole to the MPs.”
>>
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>>34966490
Cause it is.
>>
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>>34966471
Airlift pls go
>>
>>34966490
Dirtyfox ain't known for anatomically correct images.
>>
>>34966471
why is her right eye noticeably lower than her left?
>>
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>>34966143
>Will be pissed if I have to wait another 2 years to post it though.

At this point Ghostdivision:

1. Will be meeting me in real life.
2. Knows my home address.
3. Knows I'm out of reasons to NOT run SWQ.

I welsh on pain of death.

DEATH.
>>
>>34966490
Ogitsune (the artist) is many things, good at anatomy is not quite one of them.
http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts?tags=ogitsune_%28ankakecya-han%29
>>
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>>34966511
Never.
>>
We have enough political and military clout right now that any action Kennedy takes will result in so much shit being thrown at him that his family will be forced to disown and distance themselves from him.

We should let him know that. He wants to throw around how much money his family has, let him know that we have the political and military clout to see him shoveling shit at Leavenworth for the rest of his life and to drag his name and career through so much mud that he'll no longer be considered a Kennedy by his family.
>>
>>34966544
Wunderbar. Welcome back slave.
>>
>>34966544
> 1. Will be meeting me in real life.
> 2. Knows my home address.

Fapfic Anon and Lewdbro, you know what to do.
>>
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>>34966544
>I welsh
So am I.
>>
>>34966498
This one?

>>34966593
I think he means 'Welch.'

>>34966560
pls
>>
>>34966508
SHOOT HIM WHEN HE GOES FOR HIS PISTOL
>>
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>>34966508
>“He instigated a fight, then attacked me. Crossed the room to attack me, even. Self-defense. I'm a high-value target and my father and family are no friends of the Communists, and he's consorting with one,” he says quickly and smoothly. “It'd stick.”

>Communists tried to kill us not a day ago

fuck, he's right.
>>
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>>34966508

The NCO chuckles. “Is that an order, Lieutenant?”

“Yes,” Joe returns instantly. You stare down the long, dark barrel of that automatic, trying to summon all your gnomery, your super magic or failing that just your sphincter muscles so you don't shit yourself before you die.

“Lieutenant,” the NCO says, his voice growing soft. “Lemme ask you a question.”

“Just c-”

The NCO leans in, aborting Joe's interjection by jamming his .38s barrel into Joe's ear. He leans in to speak soft and low. “Do you know who the fuck I am?”

Now, at last, Joe turns to look at the NCO in full. With his free hand, he reaches into his jacket pocket, and produces a pin with a magnetic backing and slaps it onto his helmet.
Joe looks at the five shiny brass stars, and his face goes pale.

“Well, I know what your name is,” says the general. “Your name is MUD.”
>>
>>34966508
Speak with NCO: The girl he's insulting has been keeping us from alien induced death for months, almost dying several times. What has this shit bag done to save anyone?
>>
Noum powah, activate.

Also, now would eb the time for Young to go.

"Now, do you know WHO THE FUCK I am?"
>>
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>>34966602
>pls
>>
>>34966619
Patton?
>>
>>34966619

Aw shit
>>
>>34966619
>Joe looks at the five shiny brass stars, and his face goes pale.
>>
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>>34966619
>“Well, I know what your name is,” says the general. “Your name is MUD.”
>>
>>34966619
OH

SHIT

NIGGER
>>
>>34966593
>>34966602

No no no no no, no. No. No. Welsh. Definitely Welsh, I meant. Nothing is more lethal then Welsh. Just ask the Zulus.
>>
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>>34966602
No :( This one!
>Joe looks at the five shiny brass stars, and his face goes pale.

Oh shit.
>>
>>34966651

Implying we wont recognise patton after his and rommel's antics around the damn place.
>>
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>>34966619
>“Well, I know what your name is,” says the general. “Your name is MUD.”
>>
>>34966619
Got any tickets to his court marshal?
>>
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>>34966619
>>
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>>34966678
We just got shot in the balls.
>>
>>34966616
>fuck, he's right.

AYEP

>>34966511

I love this picture more every time I look at it.
>>
>>34966677
THAT ONE.

>>34966671
Ask the French knights slaughtered at Agincourt, Crecy, and Poiters about the Welsh and their longbows.
>>
>>34966706
If communists tried to kill us not a day ago, how could we possibly be considered a communist infiltrator?
>>
Well planefag, I've got to be heading to sleep now so I'm just gonna take the moment to thank you for returning. I had a blast this thread.
>>
>>34966651
5 starts. Only one general had that many.

Eisenhower.
Supreme Commander.
>>
>>34966706
Damn Son! Welcome back! Sorry for being late and all. Is cupcakeisk still preggers with Young spawn?
>>
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>>34966726
>logic
>communists
>Stalin

You're talking about a man who murdered SIXTY PERCENT of the officer corps of the Red Army for reasons of political loyalty. You're talking about some of the most genuinely insane motherfuckers who ever lived.

Trust me, they could make it stick.
>>
>>34966747
I'm in the band. We can only count to 4.
>>
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>>34966747
>General of the Army
>Supreme Allied Commander
DWIGHT D MOTHERFUCKIN' EISINHOWER

OH SHIT BITCH NIGGA JOE YOU HAVE FUCKED UP NOW NOW YOU HAVE FUCKED UP
>>
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>>34966747
>5 starts. Only one general had that many.
>Only one
>only
>one

u fukin wot m8
>>
>>34966724
Conspiracy. Tiny Welshaboos from the future used their tiny time machines to replace each arrowhead with tiny guns that fired tiny bullets into the French knights.
>>
>>34966747
Not just one.
>>
>>34966749
Other way around, mate
>>
>>34966773
>implying that's still not dangerous as fuck

Why did the UK not use the Welsh to kill the enemy in Afghanistan and Iraq?
>>
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>>34966747
Well I daresay Joe is about as fucked as whore picked up by one of his lil' bros secret service agents.
>>
>>34966796
We're too busy fucking sheep.
>>
>>34966747
>Only one general had that many.
Woops, wait, sorry. Not the only one.
There were 8 others.
But the only one that would make sense to be in this theater would be Eisenhower.
>>
>>34966747
Actually, there are others. General George C. Marshal, head of the US Army in WWII, was above Eisenhower, and Then there was MacArthur in the Pacific.
>>
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>>34966798
>implying Jack wasn't doing the fucking

>>34966810
Well, stop fucking sheep and get on murdering your country's enemies.
>>
>>34966772
Only one *competent* general, rather
>>
Looks like we'll need a new thread soon.
>>
>>34966750
I'm going to have to argue with you over the insanity business.

I do not think he was insane, all of his policy up through WW2 was reasonably sane.

While yes, he did purge the officer corps, it was one of the few guaranteed methods he had of securing his place as the sole power in the USSR. Seeing as he saw no possibility of war with Germany, it is understandable why he took the risk with the Purge.

Another thing to remember about Stalin was that this was a train robber who enforced his will upon an entire nation.
>>
>>34966747
TIME FOR AWESOMEHOWER
>>
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>>34966619
>>
>>34966840
>Only one *competent* general, rather

And today I learned that this man didn't exist.
>>
>>34966619
OFFICER ON DECK FULL OF GRACE HALLOWED BE THY BRASS SIR!
>>
>>34966879
I think that Anon means competent FIVE STAR general.
>>
>>34966879
Don't forget Marshall or that one Army Air Force dude whose name I can never remember.
>>
>>34966879
He's saying MacArthur was a fucking scrub, I think.
>>
>>34966898
Count the stars on Omar's shoulder, m8.
>>
>>34966901
Thats right, it could be Hap fuckin' Arnold
>>
>>34966792
Either way, it works for me.
>>
>>34966927
>omar in charge of not getting btfo at the bulge
>>
>>34966927
He wasn't a fiver in '44, though.
>>
>>34966898
Here's a nice piece of trivia for ya.

There were four 5-star generals from the US during WW2.

>>34966927
Bradley was 5 star after the war
>>
>>34966903
MacArthur was a scrub. He didn't utilize his assets in the Philippines, lost them, got his ass handed to him by the Japanese, then abandoned his command. And to make it worse, he was given the MoH. He is a fucking scrub!
>>
>>34966947
Getting thrown back during the Bulge isn't a bad mark on his record.
>>
>>34966970
Ayup.
>>
>>34966792
Futa Cupcakeski?
>>
>>34966970
and yet he ended up in charge of Japan's reconstruction and likely why it's so messed up today.
>>
>>34966508
> no friend to the Commies

The Nazis, on the other hand, were best buds with your Anglophobic, philandering shitsack of a dad. I wonder what people might think about that.
>>
>>34967008
Thank you for Strike Witches Quest, MacArthur. By fucking everything up, you contributed to this glorious ride.
>>
>>34966970
>MacArthur was btfo by locally superior forces and poor US supply lines. Still sent fighting men to their deaths.
>Attempted to hold his poor position till the bitter end before command beat some sense into his thick skull.
>Wanted to use the nuclear solution to solve the problem of who is the Best Korea.

MacArthur was a bit silly.
>>
>>34967018
There's a reason Joe Sr. never ran for president. People knew that, and they did not like him because of it.
>>
Does anyone have the '89 fapfics?
>>
>>34967085
http://pastebin.com/u/HORRUU-NEEEETOOH might be some of them, idk.
>>
>>34967035
>He had an entire air force at his command, let them sit on the runway instead of putting them on patrol.
>Had perfect chance to better his positions on the islands, didn't react in time.
>Had the most advanced shit the army had and more than enough warning, pissed it all away

Total scrub
>>
589 posts. Just like old times.
>>
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Joe Kennedy's hand begins shaking a bit as he fully and truly comprehends just how fucked he is. “B-b-but-”

“B-b-but what?” the general asks quietly. “Do tell.”

“Y-you're in the P-P-Pacif-”

“If this is the Pacific,” he says, his voice dangerously soft, “Then I'm the goddamn shark. MOVE.”

Joe moves, with the General marching him towards the door of the hut, the revolver still jammed deep in his ear canal. He stops him before the door and rips the 1911 out of his hand.

“What did you think you were doing, you moron?” he hisses. “I'd think a glory-hound asshole like you read the papers once in a while. That man's saved that little girl more than once. Risked his goddamn life. He'd kill for her, in a heartbeat. And you threaten his family?” He shoves the gun, using it as a lever to smack Joe's head into the doorframe. The Navy pilot wisely remains silent. “If I had my way, you'd be headed for a fucking stockade right now. Instead, I'm going to use this politically, do you understand me? You're more useful to me that way. Be glad for it.”
>>
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>>34967160

“I'm not going to fo-” Joe's voice breaks off as the KER-CLACK! of the .38 being cocked fills the room. Joe's head is now a fraction of a pound of pressure away from being ventilated, and he knows it.

“I've got a pretty good feel of what I can make stick, too,” the older man says. “I'm pretty sure you didn't advertise your identity to the Home Guard boys that picked you up earlier, because the Brits hate your asswipe of a father and they would've come back with your 'recovered' corpse if half of them had a chance. So why don't you get the fuck out of here before I CHANGE MY MIND!”

Joe gets, the lightweight door banging loudly as he makes tracks.

The “NCO” wearily stumbles back to his chair and slumps in it, tossing Joe's pistol on the counter. He looks at the coffee maker wearily. “Did that jackass have to spill the coffee? Shit.” He rubs at his throat with a grimace. "Ah, I hate yelling like that." He glances sidelong at you. "What's up with you?"

>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
>looking for a dishtowel ick ick coffee up in my business ick
>>
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>>34967119
He doesn't keep them linked to that page. Here are a few though

http://pastebin.com/79ZCE87c
http://pastebin.com/KYMqQ9Qu

...and a few featuring bitchtits.

http://pastebin.com/uKrG6CxU
http://pastebin.com/YzUrPmdE

Shame he doesn't wright this kinda stuff anymore.
>>
>>34967182
>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
>looking for a dishtowel ick ick coffee up in my business ick
>>
>>34967182
>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>>
>>34967131
>Had enough supplies stashed on Bataan to hold for months since that was the original battle plan
>changes his mind at the last minute and disperses them around Luzon to fight the Japanese on the beaches
>proceeds to not fight the Japanese on the beaches
>Army withdraws back to Bataan without most of its supplies and ammo and gas, leaving them behind for the Japanese
>35K US and Allied men starve on Bataan as a result
>Japanese were so weak at the beginning of the siege that if MacArthur had staged a counterattack he probably could have broken out
>he hid on Corregidor

Good going Dugout Doug.
>>
>>34967182
>>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>>
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>>34967182
>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO

I'm glad you back Planefag
>>
>>34967182
>>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
>>looking for a dishtowel ick ick coffee up in my business ick
>>
>>34967182
>>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
>>
>>34967182
WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
>>
>>34967182
>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
>>
>>34967182
>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>>
>>34967182
>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
My cossack my cossack the kingdom for my cossack
>>
>>34967182
>>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
>>
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>>34967182
>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
>>
>>34967182
>>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO


How can we do both?
>>
>>34967182
>>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>>
… MacArthur is in the house, motherfucker.

We keep making the nicest friends, don't we? First the Witches (and sweet Minna), then Rommel, Patton, Stirling and the rest of the SAS, NIKOLA FUCKING TESLA…

And now MacArthur himself.

We make the nicest/craziest friends.
>>
>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO

Based General is Based.
>>
>>34967182
>>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO
>>
>>34967218
Thanks for pointing out everything I missed. He really fucked up the perfect position for nothing! I will never understand why anyone thought it was a good idea to give him the MoH!
>>
>>34967182
>>AVERTING MY EYES M'LORD
>>
>>34967287
He nominated himself for it.
>>
>>34967259
Is it Macarthur, though?
>>
>>34967182
>WHERE DID MY COSSACK GO

Sleep calls but I will say we missed you planefag, you glorious bastard. This better not be a cocktease or some kind of fucked up dream or afterlife, neither would be fun.
>>
>>34967299
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lmh2hEt3Y0
Why am I not surprised?
>>
Oh shit, We'll need a new thread here soon!
>>
>>34967299
>>34967341
Don't forget! He tried to block Wainwright from getting one himself, because Wainwright LOST. MacArthur wanted to court martial him.
>>
>>34967186
Second link is deleted. All there is is "Katya a shit"
>>
>>34967336
What other 5-star was in the pacific?
>>
IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?
>>
>>34967432
Yes.
>>
>>34967432
OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY?
>>
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You're staring at the empty cot where the littlest Cossack was lying quiet and prone not sixty seconds ago. “Where's Sanya!?” you exclaim with alarm. “She was right here!”

“The witch?” the general asks, looking up. “She's... oh dear.” He clamors to his feet and follows you out the back door of the Quonset hut. You hear a wild, keening sobbing coming from somewhere ahead, spurring you into an all-out sprint for the source. You soon find Sanya curled up against a supply box, under a camoflauge tarp, bawling her eyes out and -

“SANYA!” you cry, your hands darting out and seizing her wrists to stop her from yanking her hair out. She continues to sob, her tiny chest heaving so violently her breath is escaping with little “hic hic hics!” You pick the slender girl up entirely and cradle her against you, tucking her face against your shoulder. The general stands by awkwardly as you both wait for Sanya's wailing to burn itself out.

“I'm sorry, General MacArthur,” you say softly, looking at the ground as you cradle the weeping girl. “If I hadn't lost my temper-”

“Macarthur?” the man grins. “He's in the Pacific!”

You stare at him.

“Wat.”
>>
>>34967432
no
>>
>>34967449
What!?!
>>
>>34967367
Total cuntsuckle, that MacArthur. He should have been fired in 1942 when he 'transferred' himself to Australia to 'command the Pacific'.
>>
>>34967449
I FUCIN TOLDJA
>>
>>34967449
kik
>>
>>34967449
Wat.
>>
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>>34967449

>“Macarthur?” the man grins. “He's in the Pacific!”

>You stare at him.

>“Wat.”
>>
>>34967381
Oh whoops sorry bout that, forgot how butthurt feelthy was about that.
I downloaded that particular story when it was reposted under a different title but I don't have any links to it I'm afraid.
>>
>>34967461
>He should have been fired in 1942 when he 'transferred' himself to Australia to 'command the Pacific'.

No, to be fair to the man, he DID want to sit on Corregidor and die a "hero". FDR DID directly order him to leave the Philippines and transfer his command to Australia.
>>
>>34967484
Could you dump it in a pastebin?
>>
>>34967449
>“Macarthur?” the man grins. “He's in the Pacific!”

>You stare at him.

>“Wat.”

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO RELIEVED!
>>
Who the hell is this?
>>
>>34967498
Sure here ya go.
http://pastebin.com/wjVb8fsD
>>
>>34967529
Someone with access to magnetic stars and brass balls, aka someone to fear.
>>
>>34967556
>Upload this
>Hit refresh button 60 seconds later
>125 views

Fuck me you lot move fast on lewds.
>>
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The general grins at you wickedly and reaches for the pin on his helmet. Carefully prying at it, he removes – two stars, leaving three still on his metal dome. He shows you the backing.

“Promotion still feels pretty new,” he says. “I usually don't wear these things – defeats the point of a GI uniform, after all – so I just stuck the magnets together so neither of them'd get lost.” He pockets the extra stars and nods at you. “General Omar Bradely, at your service.”

You blink. “Didn't I see you at that award ceremony...?”

“Probably,” he confirms, “but given the Martian psi-attack and all, I don't blame you or anyone else for not remembering.” He smiles a private little smile. “I imagine Joe's on the horn with his father right now arranging for all sorts of flak to be sent MacArthur way.” He grins very, very wide. “Never been on this side of the mess-making before. No wonder Georgie likes it so damned much.”

He claps you on the shoulder. “I'll leave you two be,” he says softly, and walks away. You watch him go as you feel the unreality of the situation slide off your back. Now you're just another pilot on another base again, and the world is somewhat normal.

Now you just have to deal with the almost hysterical Witch you're carrying around like a sack of potatoes.

This is “normal” now.

When did it all go wrong, Young? When did they start bouncing you? You look up to the heavens for answers and just find more English overcast.

CHRIST.

>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>SANYA SPEAK TO ME! WE'RE LOSING HER!
>How did this get here I am not good at Witch
>>
>>34967556
Fortunately, this isn't canon.
>>
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>mfw i realize i'm gonna have to go on an archive binge again to remember everything
>>
>>34967595
>>How did this get here I am not good at Witch

my fucking sides
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate! Nurture!
>>
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>>34967594
>125 views
>125

... how many people are reading this right now

like, this thread

like

what
>>
>>34967595
>>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>
>>34967595
>>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>
>>34967595
>>SANYA SPEAK TO ME! WE'RE LOSING HER!
>>
>>34967623
we've missed you bruv'nah
>>
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>
>>34967595
>How did this get here I am not good at Witch
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.

Priorities first.
>>
>>34967595
>>How did this get here I am not good at Witch
how does this thing work
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.

Get her safe, get her comfortable, give her a teddy bear, tuck her in. She needs a break.
>>
>>34967595
>SANYA SPEAK TO ME! WE'RE LOSING HER!
>How did this get here I am not good at Witch
>>
>>34967598
>mfw I had to do this exact thing
>mfw I read all my actual good moments and wondered if I could ever match that again
>mfw I saw all my awful writing and egregious fuckups and wanted to suduku on the spot
>mfw image limit reached
>>
>>34967623
Innumerable thousands, probably.

You're return has been eagerly awaited by many anons planefag.
>>
>>34967623
Don't worry about it.
>>
>>34967623
171 now, you probably have a thousand or so fans of this quest.
>>
>>34967623

Dude, you're like the King of Quests.

The other SWQs that spawned in your absence...were either absolute shit or not as good.
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
Hugs and cuddles time.
>>
>>34967630
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDaAH8Jvlwk
>>
>>34967677
I take offense. I love PJQ
>>
>>34967623
It's up to 188 now.
>>
>>34967665
We still love you, man.

And that was actually BRADLEY?! Oh that sneaky guy!

We made friends with Omar Bradley… I love this quest.
>>
>>34967665
Dude, we all fuck up, but we love what you do, so just keep chugging until you get it all back. Just have it ready for when I get out of basic, I need some good reads to look forward to!
>>
>>34967677

I'm going to be blunt, I like 89 a lot more than this.
>>
>>34967677
M-muh TWQ
>>
>>34967595
>>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>
>>34967636

I assumed I had about 50ish regular readers on /tg/ in my prime.

I think, maybe, I don't have a clue how many or how to count them.

Aearff.
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.

>>34967623
SWQ was/is always popular as FUCK, and you just returned from a 1 1/2 year hiatus. Not to mention the spawning of at least a dozen offshoots.

literally every quest reader on /tg/ is probably in this thread right now.
>>
>>34967696
Hey, did you do Ice's night like with Slider's fapfic?
>>
>>34967706
89 tastes differently from this, its kinda why I dont like it too much. 2serious5me, not enough bounce which is saying something when MC is tricked out.
>>
>>34967722

ANONS. REPORT IN.

>Red Leader Standing by.
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>
>>34967595
>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>
>>34967747
>Red October Standing by
>>
>>34967722
You could set up a strawpoll at the start of a thread, and ask that everyone vote in it to get a census. And that would be on the conservative side.

Plus, by doing it that way you can get the archive readers.
>>
>>34967595
>>Relocate. We need to nuture now, not interrogate.
>>SANYA SPEAK TO ME! WE'RE LOSING HER!
>>How did this get here I am not good at Witch
>>
>>34967747

Hawkbat One, standing by. Yub Yub, Commander!
>>
>>34967677
>king of quests

That'd go to Goushoujim-sama with Papa-N at second place.
>>
>>34967747
>Big Red standing by.
>>
>>34967747
LEWD LEADER STANDING UP
>>
>>34967747

>Red two standing by!
>>
>>34967747
>Red Rackham Standing by.
>>
>>34967597
fortunately, neither is your buttmad faggotry
>>
CAPTAIN WE NEED GNU THREAD! QUICKLY WE IS OF SINKING!
>>
ANON Here,
>>
>>34967772
>Yub Yub
I can't believe he's dead.
>>
>>34967737
As much as I liked that one, sadly I can not take credit for that, for I did not write that.
>>
>>34967706
you liked dragged out romance routes? Honestly SWQ running good like this is hard to beat.
>>
>>34967747
>All checks complete and ready for battle. All craft follow Mobius 1
>>
>>34967789
Zing!
>>
>>34967747
Blue Faggot standing by
>>
>>34967747
Simply Red, Standing by
>>
>>34967722
Consider that you've gotten a LOT of good rep from both of your fantastic quests, on two different sites.

Consider that even with only the "original" followers from 1 1/2 years ago, we still filled up threads like mad.

Consider that these original followers most likely spread the word of your great and entertaining quests.

Hell the fuck yes, you've got a big following.

>>34967747
Big Boss, Standing By.
>>
>>34967737
I didn't realize there was an Ice one.
>>
>>34967799
Do you have a link to it?
>>
>>34967747
Mobius 2 on standby.
>>
NEXT TIME ON STRIKE WITCHES: IN SOVIET RUSSIA, PIANO PLAYS YOU!

From now on we will use this marvelous thing called TWITTER so I can keep people updated on when I'm running quests instead of having to lock myself into a schedule ahead of time only to be forced into running when I'm grumpy because I had to get my thighs rotated or something. PLANEFAG'S AWFUL SHITTY FEED:

https://twitter.com/PLANEFAG

We will be running again VERY GODDAMN SOON, at least twice more before the end of next week. Next time I'll set up a straw poll in OP out of pure curiosity, just for kicks.

IT IS SO GODDAMN NICE TO BE ABLE TO COME BACK AND I LOVE YOU ALL SO GODDAMN MUCH FOR TOLERATING MY BULLSHIT ONCE AGAIN <3 <3 <3
>>
>>34967789
Someday, you'll actually write something of note that others get upset about.
>>
>>34967773
>Maid Quest was six years ago
>>
>>34967747
>Image limit reached

Goddammit you fuckers

Nimitz NECO standing by, nyaa
>>
>>34967802

Eh, despite that, I really do like the more...eh, I'll call it "realistic" for lack of a better word, feel to it.

To be honest, (pun unintended), this quest focuses too much on HIJINX for my tastes.
>>
>>34967747
Red Fox standing by.
>>
>>34967854
Thanks for the thread, planefag!

It was great to have you back.
>>
>>34967854
Damn glad you're back, PF.
>>
>>34967864
And that day, I'll think "Wow, that Feelthy cunt is a cunt"
>>
>>34967854
DONT FORGET TO RUN AWIY SOMETIMES TOO FFS!
>>
>>34967854
Pleased as punch to have you back planefag, truly a joyous day for /tg/.

Also get ready for a fuckton of subscribers on that twitter account.
>>
>>34967834
Anyone have the link?
>>
>>34967854
Thanks for the thread fap angle, glad to see you back
>>
thread is archived, remember to vote!
>>
>>34967854
You are a glorious man, Poliorcetes.
>>
>>34967747
Lewd Elf standing by.
>>
>>34967854
Thanks for being back Planefag. Your a great..thing.

Also the amount of followers on twitter will be around 500 or so.
>>
>>34967854
Glad to have you back Gap an Elf.
We missed you so goddamn much.
>>
>>34967854
Thanks for the thread made my fucking night.

And fucking this >>34967884
>>
MOG be mogging.

And moved to tears of joy at this this new schedule.
>>
>>34967854

I'm bringing rum to AWA. you and I, we will get drunk and bullshit, yes?
>>
God, just when I had given up faith. Thank you, planefag. Your antics are a curse and an inspiration for all. I have bought at least two fighter reference books because of your threads.
>>
>>34967925
We really did.

>>34967884
It'd be nice, yeah. Sweet Keine...
>>
Holy Hell, it's been a long time!

I have actually been writing in the mean time, so anyone interested in seeing more PBS?
>>
some fuck screwed up the tags for the archive by adding _ in place of spaces, got to get LL to fix them.
>>
>>34967968
… Is there anyone who wouldn't?
>>
>>34967871
>40 AMRAAMS and 32 Agiles in single plane?!
>T-there's no way they'd fit!
>Wyvern confirmed for lewd.
>>
>>34967899
Anyone?
>>
>>34967968
You'd better, you asshole.
>>
>>34968009
Do you have a link to the Ice fapfic? I'm trying to finish my collection.
>>
>>34967706

Of course you do. SWQ is... what it is. '89 is a much more serious and sober take on a setting that literally mashes up Strike Witches with War of the Worlds, something I didn't think was even remotely effing possible, but Ghost somehow managed. tl;dr '89 is actually writing, as opposed to this lunatic paint-huffing drivel I produce for sheer giggles.

Incidentally, I actually ran a short (< 20 threads) quest a month or two ago that was much, much more serious, putting all my skill as a writer into it. It's probably one of the best things I've ever written. It had, at best, eight or nine regular readers, not counting archive readers.

Let that stand as evidence as to the impact of a popular, established IP. I owe a LOT more to my readers than they owe to me, all things told.
>>
>>34967987
Fair enough!

>>34968009
Just reposting Chapter 14, I'm afraid.

*Later in the Afternoon, January 2, 1943*


What had started as the Second Battle of Gangut degenerated into an desperate uncoordinated brawl. Admiral Berustov had lost all semblance of controlling the flow of battle, and everyone taking part knew it. The Soviet battlelines devolved into disorganized mobs of similarly-sized ships, all trying to cover each other in the face of fierce Martian opposition. The American ships were fairing slightly better, but only because they numbered only three vessels:the California and the two American destroyers which had gravitated to protect their larger charge.

"What the HELL is going on?!" demanded Admiral Lee as he tried to make sense of the battle plot being supplied by the radar striker. "This is supposed to be an 'elite' Navy of the Soviet Union! They're the only ones with the goddamn Order of the Red Banner! Why aren't they acting like deserve they it?!"

"Berustov!" shouted Captain Stone over one of the California's salvos. "He took over after the last admiral got killed during the initial Martian invasion! He obviously wasn't the right man for the job!"

"Oh, OBVIOUSLY!" Admiral Lee somehow managed to give his shout a sarcastic tone. "I swear, I should have neve-"

Te radar striker's eyes went wide and he hurriedly updated the plot.

"-so, THAT is where Baker went!" The admiral jabbed a finger at the new target. "He used that squall to break contact and move inside the fleet! Cocky son of a bitch, isn't he?"

"Maybe, maybe not," growled Captain Stone. "This is the sixth time I've seen a Martian ship use that little trick over the past year. I know we're not fighting the same squid over and over. Which means-"

"More proof the Martians have a vastly superior knowledge of how radar works. Great."
>>
>>34967854
Will the faggot ever return? I enjoyed that story's imagery.
>>
>>34968037
***

Dreadnaught "Baker"'s sudden reappearance made the battle that much worse for Admiral Berustov and his flagship. Dreadnaughts "Able" and "Charlie" had maintained their fire while their third had broken in, and there were at least twenty of the little gunboats the Martians had fallen in love with running around throwing their thumper-mortars wherever they could. The result was a beautiful environment for the commander of "Baker": he found himself in perfect range for his masers to work to their maximum effect on the three heavy human warships, and for the moment the human fleet was totally out of position to stop him. He selected the one that seemed to be in overall charge of the human force and opened fire.

The effects were immediate. The misting defenses on the Oktyabrskaya Revolutsiya did their job valiantly, but they were only barely holding against two maser systems. Under the withering gaze of a third at point-blank range, they began to falter. The bow portion of the system failed first, and for the first time in the battle the masers of a Martian dreadnaught were able to go to work melting the main armor belt of a human battleship.
>>
>>34968033
>Incidentally, I actually ran a short (< 20 threads) quest a month or two ago that was much, much more serious, putting all my skill as a writer into it. It's probably one of the best things I've ever written. It had, at best, eight or nine regular readers, not counting archive readers.
oh? what was it?
>>
>>34968033
Which quest? now you have me curious and I want to read it.
>>
>>34968050
***

"Sir, the October Revolution is in a bad place!"

Captain Stone rushed to one of the tiny viewing slits in the conning tower. He could barely see the ship through the small slits and the smoke , but he only needed one glance to tell that it was true. "You're damn right about that! The bow is already starting to melt! God help him when he tries to turn... and the guns in the forward turret are starting to slag and droop! I hope that they-GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!" The gun crew had read Captain Stone's mind: they tried to fire a salvo before the words were out of his mouth. The shells had predictably lodged themselves fast and forced a backfire into the turret. As Captain Stone watched the flames lick out of the turret from every possible opening, he silently prayed that the men inside had at least died instantly.

"Do you think they'll manage to flood the magazines in time?" asked Admiral Lee as he joined the captain at the viewslit.

"Well, if they don't blow up in the next thirty seconds, we'll know one way or the other," he replied darkly. He stared out the slit for a heartbeat more before he cursed under his breath.

"Is our misting system at maximum? Good. Mr. Mackintosh, take her in! Cut across the enemy's bows and try and draw their fire!"

"Yes sir! Helm, hard left rudder!"

"Captain?"

"I'm not going to stand idly by and let the squids kill a human warship, Admiral. I don't care who it belongs to."
>>
>>34967747
>Purple Helmet Standing By
>>
>>34967974
>some fuck screwed up the tags for the archive by adding _ in place of spaces

WOW what kind of retard does it take to fuck that up!? I mean like wow that's terrible, right? Amirite? Eh? Eh?

>>34968043

very much yes

>>34967947

CONFIRMED
>>
>>34968067
***

The commander of "Baker" frowned, as much as a Martian could. One of the human heavy warships was rapidly changing course; apparently wheeling around to try and protect the flagship heavy. This was grossly out of line with how this particular faction of humans had been observed to operate. Still quasi-frowning, he toggled a zoom function in his forward cameras and set them to inspect the problem warship. It took him less than a second to notice the Bear Republic flag.

“Forty-Four...” he whispered before finding his voice. “Fucking Forty-Four! What in all the Gods' names is IT doing HERE?!”

“Warship Forty-Four?” replied the security officer. “Impossible. PsyOps reported that they sank it over 10 cycles ago.”

“Well I guess they didn't do a very good job, BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT THERE SHOOTING AT US AT THIS VERY INSTANT!”

“M-m-maybe they have several of them?” offered the radar operator. “Perhaps they are using a brother-ship to double for it after its loss? All they would have to do is find a new flag and paint a new number on it. Surely they would want to hide its destruction...”

“If they could do that, the possibility also exists that our brothers in PsyOps hit one of those same brother-ships INSTEAD of fucking Forty-Four! Gods, do I have to do all the thinking around here?!”

He threw a sustenance mug across the bridge for effect; the rest of the bridge crew instinctively flinched at the loud noise.

“Signal the rest of the force: shift targets and focus all firepower on Warship Forty-Four,” he growled as he sank back into his command pod. “If PsyOps can't sink the thrice-damned thing, *I* will.”
>>
>>34968033
>Incidentally, I actually ran a short (< 20 threads) quest a month or two ago that was much, much more serious, putting all my skill as a writer into it. It's probably one of the best things I've ever written. It had, at best, eight or nine regular readers, not counting archive readers.

As one of the archive readers it was great fucking read. And hopefully see more out of it down the line sometime.
>>
>>34968058

I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader~ I'm curious to see how many people will actually spot it if they're actually looking for it.
>>
>>34968086
***

Things were heating up for the California. All three dreadnaughts had stopped firing on the Oktyabrskaya Revolutsiya in favor of the American ship, while her own 14-inch main battery hammered them back harder than they could give. Salvo by salvo, shell by shell, the California began to turn the tide. “Able” was holding at distance and “Baker” was still trying to drive in hard, but “Charlie” decided he had enough and turned to make for a nearby squall. This was the chance the human fleet was waiting for, and the battleship Marat jumped on it. With a quick turn, it brought all its guns to bear on the fleeing dreadnaught and began to rain death on it exclusively.

However, while the California's misting system was much better maintained and better operating condition than the Oktyabrskaya Revolutsiya's, it was still only designed to protect the hull against maser attacks at range. It was only a matter of time before one got through at such a short distance.

As it turned out, that one beam didn't hit the armor belt; it breached the area of high humidity right above the misters. And it did when one of the California's casemate 5-inch guns was pointed at the perfect reciprocal angle, right as they were ramming a fresh shell home; the 5-inch high-explosive warhead cooked off when it was only half-in the breech. The results were immediate and catastrophic.
>>
>>34967866
Maid quest was only a bit over 4 years ago.
It's easy to remember because that was summer 2010, the summer everybody is talking about when they speak of summerfags.
>>
>>34968109
YNQ
>>
>>34968111
***

“I think we got their attention this time, sir!”

“I believe you're right, Mr. Mackintosh!” yelled Captain Stone. “Bring her 'round again! We've got 'Charlie' on the run! Let's unmask our forward turrets and give 'Baker' anot-” He never finished his sentence. Before he could say another word, an explosion rocked the ship, and the conning tower erupted into chaos. “-what in Hell was THAT?!”

He didn't have to wait long for his damage control personnel to come up with an answer. “Fire in the port casemate, sir!” shouted one of them as he tried to maneuver a copy of the California's damage control plan around the cramped conning tower. “Some squid asshole got a lucky shot and set off the ready-loading ammunition!”

“What about the magazines?”

“Last thing we heard from the ensign in command of the #2 gun was that he ordered them flooded,” cut in the gunnery officer. “We haven't been able to contact him since.”

Captain Stone cursed. “God damn it all! What about the state of the fire?”

“The fire teams are responding, but it was completely out of control before we could get in position; ammunition makes for wonderful fuel,” darkly replied the damage control officer. “What's worse,” he jabbed at the massive open galley between the port and starboard casemates. “I don't know if we can stop it before it spreads to the other side, sir!”
>>
>>34968115
I seem to remember '08 being the year of summerfags
GET OFF MY LAWN
>>
>>34968134
And those three letters translate into...what exactly?
>>
>>34968140
Captain Stone stared at the diagram for a second longer. “If we lose both casemates, we lose all ability to shoot back at these goddamn gunboats!”

“And our anti-aircraft capability, sir! The 5-inch AA crews can only stay at their stations for a little while longer before their ammunition runs out and the heat forces them to abandon their guns.”

“Then thank God the air has been clear of the Martian swarms today,” added in Admiral Lee. “Captain, it is my professional opinion that you need to evacuate those starboard guns now. We can replace the guns; trained veteran crews are harder to come by.”

Captain Stone breathed hard. “Alright. Evacuate the starboard casemate, and secure al-” Once again, he was cut off by another explosion. Everyone in the conning tower knew what it meant. “Get them out of there! I don't care if they have to cut a hole in the deck, just do it! AND FLOOD THOSE MAGAZINES!”
>>
>>34968148
08 wasn't great, but it wasn't bad enough that they had to introduce Captcha to cut down on spam.
>>
>>34968151
Yume Nikki (dream diary) Quest, based off of the mindfuck game.
>>
>>34967854
Great to have you back and active, you fucker.
>>
>>34968165
***

It was too much for a Soviet destroyer captain to handle. He had been racing towards the Oktyabrskaya Revolutsiya as fast as his engines could carry him ever since the one dreadnaught had managed to break into the fleet. He watched helplessly as his flagship (and his admiral!) was pummeled and slagged by the heathen Martian invaders, trading shots with the damned little gunboats the whole way. Now, almost dead ahead, he spotted a dark shape slowly materializing out of the mist the Martian masers were generating. 'And it's on fire!', he noted with glee. 'The admiral managed to at least damage this one!'

“Come right!” he shouted as he picked up a voice tube. “Torpedoes! Fire a full spread to port on my mark!” 'At the very least', he thought, 'if we lose one of our precious battleships, I will be able to finish this bitch off and make the squids pay in kind!' “FIRE!”

The torpedoes lept out of their launchers and raced towards the dark ship. The captain willed his fish on in the names of Marx, Lenin and Stalin, urging them to strike true...until the dark ship started to become more and more defined: A tall cage mast. Two sets of superimposed turrets. A graceful clipper bow.

He had just shot torpedoes at the American battleship.

'And they will never see them coming...' he realized with horror. The captain bolted for the bridge wing and started screaming at his crew to get off any kind of warning with a single motion.
>>
>>34968115
Yeah, i fucked up there
>>
>>34968151
YouNeedn'tQuibble.
>>
>>34968188
***

“Mr. Mackintosh! Come right and take her into the wind!” ordered Captain Stone. “We can't control the fires with smoke eve-”

At that moment, it seemed like the whole ship jumped ten feet into the air. The sounds of explosions and rending metal filled the conning tower as everyone was thrown to the deck. For a moment, the ship was stunned.

***

Baker's commander practically jumped with glee as he watched the two towers of water crash back down. “HA! Suck on THAT, you unkillable whoresons!” He noted with even more enthusiasm that the much suspected human command node, a large metal cylinder that for some reason had its own misting system above the rest of the ship's hull, was starting to sink lower and lower into the range of his masers. He altered his targeting commands and keyed a flight of gunboats to press in an attack.
>>
>>34968204
***


“What in the Hell...” groaned Admiral Lee while he dragged himself from the floor.

“Torpedo impact!” shouted the damage control officer as the deck began to take on a noticeable tilt. “No...two of them! One hit forward, one aft! No word on damage, but the Engine Room has stopped responding to the sound-powered system!”

“Sickbay reports it is filled beyond capacity-”

“Port anti-aircraft batteries are being forced off from the heat-”

“The radar room is reporting those last hits concussed the system out of commission! We're blind!”

As each report came in, Captain Stone's face went whiter and whiter. His ship was dying before his very eyes.

“Oh, to HELL with this!” he roared, making sure to avoid Admiral Lee's gaze. “Enough is enough! I'm not letting the squids sink my ship like this; signal our destroyers, we're pulling out!”

Before Mackintosh could even voice an acknowledgment, a patch of the port side of the conning tower began to glow red. Time seemed to stop as that patch suddenly flashed white and then puddled into molten slag. Nobody had any time to react or get out of the way; two men right next to the patch were disintegrated instantly, while a poor doomed soul shrieked in agony as his face melted off his skull.

“MASER! GET BACK! GET BACK YO-” roared Admiral Lee. However, over the screams of the dying officer and the freezing Baltic wind, a whistling sound grew louder and louder. Before anyone could turn to run for the bulkhead door, the Thumper shell impacted right outside the melted hole. The roar of an explosion filled the air, and Lieutenant Mackintosh's world went white.
>>
>>34968224
And that's all for tonight! I should have a new chapter for the next thread. Here are the pastebin links:

http://pastebin.com/0SzwpweQ
http://pastebin.com/u/dante41

Any questions/comments/hatemail?
>>
>>34968252
I like you, you can come to my house and fuck my sister
>>
>>34967854
All Hail the Planefag! I knew my faithful belief in you would be fulfilled!
>>
>>34968252
I'm going to bother you for updates every single day until you like it.
>>
>>34968252
Since some one else said you can fuck there sister. You can fuck my grandmom on life support.
>>
>>34968273
You mentioned an Ice fapfic earlier in the thread. Link?
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>>34968331
shhhh, silly anon. such a link does not exist
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>>34968331
There's even more that has been lost due to the board going down.

Kota fix the fucking board already
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>>34968382
Board?
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>>34968382
Kota doesn't even update his quest and you want him to fix the board
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>>34968436
yeah, tofusau/swqu.net
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>>34968489
That's been dead for years.
>>
Anders sat patiently on the hardwood bench outside Commander Deitlinde-Wilcke's office. As he changed his seating position for what felt like the twelth time since he'd sat down, he began to wonder if maybe these benches were decorative. That or they were meant to prevent anyone sitting in them from ever being comfortable. The battle outside had died down considerably after sunset. By now it was downright peaceful, with only the occasional outburst of Triple-A reminding anyone that a war was going on.

"You're better off standing." A voice said from up the hallway, a jovial southern drawl. Anders paused his fruitless search for comfort. Another man- from his swagger another pilot- had exited the stairwell to join you outside the Commander's office. "Believe me- I've been up here enough to try."

Anders sat up as the pilot took his place leaning against the opposite wall. He casually reaches into his flight jacket and retrieves a pack of Lucky Strikes. "Smoke?" He offers, holding the pack out to you.

Anders shook his head, taking the other pilot's advice to stand. "I'll pass." He reached out to offer a handshake. "Lt. James Anders, 48-512th Joint Strike Squadron out of Alexandria. What brings you up to the principal's office?"
>>
"Lt. Charles Yeager. 401st Joint Strike Squadron- Barin. Pants a witch earlier today. Well, twice that they can prove." He said so casually that it made the act seem downright normal. "Also I might've boobytrapped her door with a bucket of water, but there's no way to prove that was me. You?"

"Emergency landing after I rammed a gliderbomb." Anders said, easily mimicking his casual tone- its a time-honored pilot's tradition to describe the most fantastic of acts in much the same way that one would describe shaving or pouring coffee.

Charles hold sup his hands. "Alright. You win, friend." Anders leaned back against the wall- victory was the sweetest nector. His post-one-up glow was interrupted by the heavy wooden door opening. Genie appears out of the doorway, affixing Yeager, and then Anders with her usual disdainful look. "Minna wants to talk to you. Try not to embarass me."

As soon as she's out of earshot, Charles leaned foreward and pat Anders on the shoulder. "Well, good luck with that." He says with a wink.
>>
Commander Minna Deitlinde-Wilcke sat at her desk not even making eye contact as she read through a stack of paperwork. Her reputation preceded her- tales of Barin Anti-Aircraft opening up on friendly fighters trying to land at Barin. Anders wasn't about to test that reputation, not yet anyway; she hadn't offered him a seat so he'd remain standing until that happened.

"Lieutinant James Anders." She finally states, letting the address hang in the air like a burst of flak. "San Fransisco, California. Age twenty-one." Commander Wilcke continued reading from his file- he took a moment to marvel at how it got here this fast- he'd landed barely an hour ago. After a few more seconds, she finally addressed him directly. "What are you doing on my island, Lieutenant."

"Emergency landing, Ma'am." He stated crisply, staying at attention.

"There was an emergency field on the mainland only a few miles away- why did you not divert there as you were initially ordered?" She continues calmly. Anders didn't like this- she was trying to get something that she can hang him with.

"My aircraft was severely damaged- I lacked the altitude to make it there safely. At the time my options were to land at Barin or ditch into the ocean." He continued. Short, factual answers- he wasn't going to give her anything she didn't specifically ask for.
>>
She was quiet for a few more moments before looking "You fly an unpainted P-38 Lightning?" She finally asked.

"Yes, Ma'am." It was a rather distinguished feature- the other planes in his squadron had been painted desert tan.

There's another long pause. "Have a seat, Lieutinant." She said, motioning to one of the large plush chairs in front of her desk. He immediately took a seat in front of her. "You were credited with two kills on martian glider-bombs."

Anders felt a bit safer now. "Yes Ma'am. They were both heading for Castle Barin. I reasoned that Barin was the command and control center for our forces during the battle. It was therefore imperative that those glider bombs were defeated before they could cause damage."

"Was your plane damaged before or during that engagement?"

"During. The first gliderbomb detonated after I shot it down." Anders tried to find an professional way to phrase the second part, but failed. "At that point I was out of ammo so I... I hit the second one." He said. "...With my plane. My wing and engine were damaged in that attempt."
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Commander Wilcke was quiet for a moment, continuing to read what Anders assumed were third-party accounts of the engagement. She finally closes her eyes, pinching her brow as she sights. "Another one, dammit. Just what Barin needed..." She mutters.

"I'm sorry, Commander?" Anders said, a bit confused.

"Nothing, Lieutinant." She takes a breath and, for the first time in the conversation makes eye contact with you. "I'd like to thank you for your service in protecting Castle Barin. I will instruct our maintainance personell to have your Lightning in flyable condition by tomorrow morning so you and Lieutinant Bishop can return to your squadron as soon as possible." She folded his file closed. "You're dismissed."

One night. Something popped in Anders head though- Genie's sister is stationed here, and she's got barely twelve hours to visit, assuming she even sees her. Dammit, Anders.

"Ma'am?" You say, not yet getting up from the chair. "Actually, I had a request."

She stops, and looks at you. "No."
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>>34968513
I'm well aware.
>>34968436
asked what board >>34968382
meant, so I answered him.
>>
Anders steeled himself- Minna Deitlinde-Wilcke was about as intimidating a witch as they came, but Genie only had this one chance. "Ma'am- We had a coastal garrison on the Med- it was an old French fortress in Algeria. Its momentum carried it through a four-foot concrete wall and thirty feet into the fortress before it detonated." He shook his head- he'd flown over the fortress the next day. "There was nothing left of that fortress. Just a big hole in the ground- they found debris, personal effects... body parts... half a mile from where the walls were."

You stare at a point just under the top of her desk. "It took two weeks to get an approximate deathtoll- they had to get records of who was stationed there- They still don't have a full number." He took a deep breath. "Considering that fortress wasn't all that much smaller than Barin and of much less strategic importance..."

Commander Wilcke narrowed her eyes at Anders. She glared bullets at him, as he sat there, but he didn't budge. Eventually, though, she cracks with another loud sigh. "What is it, Lieutinent?"

"Lt. Bishop has a sister stationed here." He stated bluntly. "It is my understanding that they haven't seen each other in some time." You look Minna in the eye. "I think that she deserves more than a single night. I'd request that you allow her to stay."

Minna stares at you like you've suddenly grown an extra ear. "I'm sorry?"
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"I'd like Lt. Bishop to have time to visit her sister." You repeat simply.

Minna thought for a moment. "Lt. Anders, I'm deeply grateful for your service today. You saved Castle Barin and everyone within it. But witches are already seen to 'take care of their own.' If I were to allow Lt. Bishop to stay it would appear to some as though she recieved favorable treatment for being a witch. I'm sorry, but..."

"Then I'll stay as well." He interrupted. "Call us a liason- I don't know."

"I'll see what can be done. But I won't guarantee anything."

"Thank you, Commander." He said simply and professionally. "I know if my little brother were here, it would kill me if I didn't get to spend more than a few hours here." He began to stand up and excuse himself.

"Lt. Anders, one more thing." She said with a motion back to the chair. "Taking out those Gliderbombs was bordering on suicide. I'd like to ask what posessed you to take the course of action you did."

"Barin's a major asset- a Witch roost." Anders said after thinking for several seconds. "I'm just one pilot- one plane. There's thousands more where I came from, but there's only one Barin."

"Everyone thinks that Witches are aloof- that we don't care about the men fighting with us... " She sighs. "You're not disposable, Lieutenant- don't ever believe otherwise. And don't ever think that the witches you fly with see themselves as any more important than you." She affixed him with a hard stare. "Don't ever think that a witch wouldn't put their life on the line just as readily as you put yours on the line today."

Anders really didn't have a response. "Ma'am." He said in acknowledgement.

"You'll be informed by tomorrow morning of the situation." She nods politely. "You're dismissed."
>>
http://pastebin.com/Y9LCt9kW

And the rest of Thunder and Lightning...

http://pastebin.com/u/LegioCI

It just ain't SWQ without the rest of the writefags that come with it.
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>>34968666
sure thing, SATAN
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>>34968666
LOOOOGOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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>>34967854
YOU HAVE MADE MY YEAR!
>That face when there for the original threads many moons ago
>That face when hoping against hope that fapangel would return.
>That face when return home from shitty day to GLORY.
Feelsgoodman.jpg
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>>34968724
Our patience has been rewarded!
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>>34968732

And I can finally rest.
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>>34968744
No you can't, not until you force him to chaing himself to his computer and keep writing it forever and ever on pain of NAMBU
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>>34968744
I have a 1/48 scale black widow that has been waiting for this moment.
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>>34968744
No. QM always with the sound of anons screeching for lewds buzzing within your skull, their posts gnawing at your eyeballs forever and ever!
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>>34968744

Ghostdiva lewds soon
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>>34968033
Capitalist quest or Peasant quest?
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