You are Shax Gloombreaker, dragon slayer, chief of the united cave goblin tribes, owner of one really big sword, mortal blade of the sea mom, second place of some floating skull's tournament, friend of some trees, demigod of the elemental plane of light, owner of a maid with a huge axe, murderer of demon prince dolls, and the person being stalked by some weird clown.And, you're in front of Allonces' house right now. It is a huge marble temple, and inside is supposed to be some kinda magical orb for you to bust open. The goal is to grab that orb, smash it, talk to the nerdy elf gods that pop out of them, and get yourself ascended. You have some errands you need to run before ascending, of course, but it shouldn't be too hard!You Have:>3/72 BtB exp>7/72 MSiF exp>58/56 CyRCTHaM exp>Shax's Stuff! So you can keep track: http://pastebin.com/U3hKZfAd>Shax Company!: http://pastebin.com/mZgVD5yH>Shax Ability Tree: http://pastebin.com/aBfqv1vP>I'm the boss! Points: 0>Pearls: 7Congratulations! You're at the last part of the whole quest! Do you really think you can get 70 exp in the next three threads? I don't. And I'm the guy who gives the exp out! But upgrades are fun! My first thought was to have you guys pick what kinda stuff you'd want Shax to have under her control when she ascends, but we sorta organically did that the whole quest anyway.Regardless, I want to hear what you'd want from upgrades in the last few threads. Just an open suggestion box! In the mean time: Let's vote on the CyRCTHaM ability you want!Back"stab" - You cause a ridiculous amount of damage if you catch an opponent off guard. Grim Dark Veteran - Your ability to survive alone in the wilds is vastly increased! Advanced Lootology - While looting, you are able to steal the very concepts and foundations of a nation, and add them to your own. If you want.My Little Assassin Can't be This Cute?! - Shax gets a huge bonus to charm, stealth, and poisoning skills.
>>34676456>My Little Assassin Can't be This Cute?!Aw yiss
>>34676456>My Little Assassin Can't be This Cute?! - Shax gets a huge bonus to charm, stealth, and poisoning skills.
>>34676456That's one adorable Shax
>>34676456>My Little Assassin Can't be This Cute?!
>>34676456>My Little Assassin Can't be This Cute?!I don;t think my heart can handle this picture.
>>34676456Oh man, that sure is one adorable Shax.Wait, why is she wearing a collar? Has she been a bad goblin?
The siren song of a new tree proves irresistable! I don't know if I'll even make up one, though. But yeah My Little Assassin Can't be this Cute?! Wins! Congrats. Shax now has a class type: Assassin tacked on to her many adjectives and nouns.Anyway. What do you want to do to the temple?>Knock on the door.>Tell Allonces to knock on the door.>"Knock" on the door with your sword.>Have Squidface Lay siege to it with your army of undead monstrosities while you go around and beat up various elves.>Have Squidface lay siege to the temple while you go run those errands you forgot about real fast.
>>34676800>Tell Allonces to knock on the door.
>>34676800>Have Squidface lay siege to the temple while you go run those errands you forgot about real fast.Oh shit we forgot to start drowning the world for Sea Mom.
>>34676840So many turtles! It's wonderful!
>>34676800>>Tell Allonces to knock on the door.
>>34676846Yeah you guys got distracted in favor of elves. It'd only be polite to fix that before you ascend.
>>34677141We can grab them on the way back. Going all the way back to Manderly would just waste time.
>>34677205I'm not sure if we'd be able to go back so easily though.This is kind of the endgame.
I WANT TO DO LEWD THINGS WITH ALLONCES
>>34677234We still have four more threads, we have time to plant the staff before we kick off a God War.
>>34677234>You have some errands you need to run before ascending, of course, but it shouldn't be too hard!This kinda implies that we can go back and grab them.
>>34677242Ew no. Allonces is not for lewd, she is for bully.Blaise is for lewd.
>>34677337>Bullying>Not lewdAnon, I hate to break it to you.
You're chewing some small bites of meat that Brokagh fried. He said to not worry about what part of the chicken they came from so you're not going to worry about it. They're very tasty! If a bit chewy. You munch on a couple while turning to look at Allonces."Okay. You go get the orb from your parents." You point your sword towards the temple in the distance.She shakes her head, crossing her arms in a large sign of refusal, "No way. They're crazy. And they wouldn't just hand it over to me, anyway."Squidface shows up. "Hey, you know that baelnorn I was talking about? She's pretty pissed I'm here, Shax. I'll be a bit busy making sure we don't get blown up by their stupid Runic Council of Bones. If you need me, just tell it to ol' Hoppy, here." The alhoon then pats the head of a one legged Kobold zombie. "He can relay the message to me real fast." You have doubts. The illithid then leaves as quickly as he arrives."I definitely don't want to get into a fight with my parents, now, Shax." Allonces says, pinching her nose, "That disgusting mind flayer was the only reason I thought we had a shot."You offer some of the chicken bites to the girl, which she takes tentatively. "It's okay, Allonces," You give her your best soothing voice. Which mostly just comes across as patronizing, "We can still take them on. C'mon! I killed a dragon."Allonces sullenly chews the food, "Yeah, I know. Whatever, I'll go talk to my dumb parents." She doesn't leave until you hand her more chicken bites, though.The elf walks over to the door and knocks on it. A stern looking guard opens it, then throws the door open with his arms wide, hugging Allonces. She manages to peel him off and gets lead inside. Sitri walks up."So, how long do you think this is going to take?"You shrug. Time passes. A lot of time passes. Where the heck is Allonces at?>Go raid the temple to get her back.>Switch to Allonces PoV.>Summon stone lizards and ice bears to investigate.
>>34677369>Switch to Allonces PoV.
>>34677369>Switch to Allonces PoV.Will Blaise get a POV at some point?
>>34677369>Switch to Allonces PoV.Too curious to resist.
>>34677369>Switch to Allonces PoV
>>34677369>Switch to Allonces PoVChief, why did you give us a vote with only once choice?
>>34677547Because if I wasn't massively late I would have voted "Retrieve our pet elf."
>>34676456Holy shit shax is fucking adorable when did she get a swim suit?Also her pale belly thing is great.
>>34676840We gotta get Rising Meteor's Final Penance Slash, but how are we going to get that much XP?
You're now Allonces. Your real name is just the worst to pronounce, so we'll stick with this."It's so good to see you again [elven name redacted to save character limit]! Your father has been consulting the moon oracle for weeks since he heard you lead the assault on our central fortress. He's very concerned, you know. Your brother has had some strange ideas since he talked to you, and it has made your father so very, very worried, [Allonces]." He continues like this the entire time you're escorted to the Chamber of Crescent Swords and Stars."Daughter." Your back goes straight. Oh crap. You were hoping to meet your dad first... "What in the hell have you been up to?" In fact, you were hoping to meet anyone except her. A powerful, brown skinned elf is waiting for you in the most ridiculous leather outfit you've ever seen. She was an ancient wood elf, when they were wild and they made pacts with barbaric spirits to bathe in blood and feast on flesh. Her sword was given to her by one of the first tengu to ever land on this continent, a powerful mirror blade kissed by the virgin god Haerotus before she slew him, sanctifying her blood with his shattered life.You hate her so much. "Still running around with that ridiculous goblin girl? Please tell me you have learned your lesson by now and will enter the priesthood like you should have a long time ago." She's been wanting you to join her murderswordcult for ages. It is infuriating. She's always leaving you presents, like a runed skull and a note in it that says 'the latest choirboy!' or a dagger that inscribed with 'practice shedding some blood for the glorious future!'. So annoying!You cross your arms, and tap your foot, "Yes, MOTHER, I am still travelling with Shax. Cna you PLEASE tell me where Father is, I have things to discuss with him."Your mom just smiles.>Try to butter her up by offering to engage in whatever cult thing she wants.>Berate her and be all obstinate and sulky.
>>34677806Ohhhhh, they're Those types of elves.
>>34677806>Try to butter her up by offering to engage in whatever cult thing she wants.
>>34677806Tell her its more fun helping a goblin kill wizards, dragons, demons, armies and inevitably gods
>>34677806>Try to butter her up by offering to engage in whatever cult thing she wants.I can totally see Allonces being sulky and all that, but this is for Shax! We can't fail her, sensei~!
>>34677806>Berate her and be all obstinate and sulky.
>>34677806>Berate her and be all obstinate and sulky.I don't know if Shax would approve of us joining, or she just might.
>>34677806>Berate her and be all obstinate and sulky.I want her brother to get more screentime.
>>34677806>Berate her and be all obstinate and sulky.Call her jelly just like all the other dark elves.
Give me a d20 brat check to see how bratty Allonces isIs she bratty enough to piss her mom off, or bratty enough to get her way?
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>34678063Come on nat 1
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>34678063
Rolled 5 (1d5)>>34678063
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>34678063
>>34677906Yeah, Allonces has killed more things with Shax than she ever could being in some dumb murder cult.
>>34678112>>34678119>>34678125I see Allonces is rolling like she normally does.
>>34678125>>34678119>>34678112Well, pissed off mom it is!
>>34678142She's only good at being a slut.
>>34678125Heeeeeey, that was a d5!
>>34678159Oh. Sneaky.>>34678127Guess she got away with it, then.
>>34678148Wouldn't Allonces have a huge brat bonus though because she puts all her into it along with tea parties?
>>34678159damnit don't you want to see family strife?
>>34678188Dice rolling is serious, anon.
"I'll let you see him, of course. I would never dream of keeping my beloved's daughter away from him. But, first, did you remember to say your prayer after every kill? I'm sure serving as the champion raid leader for an infamous goblin general has led you to many glorious deaths." Her eyes light up. What? Is she actually impressed by something you did?!You turn up your nose. "No, MOTHER, I didn't. I don't like your stupid cult, and I wouldn't say those dumb prayers even when you forced me to memorize them. Just take me to father! You're always harassing me about this stuff! I don't even understand the whole point!"Frowning, your mother walks up to you, hands on her ridiculous hips. "Still with this talk? How disappointing. I'd better just take you to your father so he can sort all of this out." Your mother shakes her hair, something some dumb poet discribed as 'diaphanous' in one the many pieces written about your mother's beauty and elegance and murderous tendencies, and now EVERYONE uses it to describe her hair. It just makes you mad thinking about it.You're only subjected to three, maybe four chiding lectures before you arrive in your father's seeing chamber. "Dear, I have our wayward daughter with us." The large chair your father is resting in turns around, revealing a wizened old elf. He is much younger than your mother, of course, but she's near immortal while the rigors of your father's job has drained him."Ah, yes, Allonces. I've been expecting you." He's cold as always, "Come here. You seek the orb, don't you? And do you know what changes it would usher in? What calamities will befall the elven people? I have seen them, yes, and it is nothing you want to be a part of.""I don't care dad," You say, rolling your eyes."Of course you don't," Your father mutters sadly.>Tell him to get his dumb vision over with so you can get the orb and get out.>Ask mother to give you the orb to usher in an age of chaos or whatever.
>>34678366>Tell him to get his dumb vision over with so you can get the orb and get out.What future has he forseen?A world of endless blue?
>>34678366>>Ask mother to give you the orb to usher in an age of chaos or whatever.
>>34678366>Tell him to get his dumb vision over with so you can get the orb and get out.
I was expecting this to be the only serious part of the quest.
>>34678473But random tonal shift make for bad writing.
>>34678366>>Tell him to get his dumb vision over with so you can get the orb and get out.
>>34678366>Tell him to get his dumb vision over with so you can get the orb and get out.Turtles risen to demigod. Greed and Purity connected as one. Goblins and Maids joining forces.
>>34678537CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER
>>34678579GIANT SWORDS RAINING FROM THE SKY.
>>34678473>Allonces>SeriousAnon last time we played as Allonces we were trying to hook up her brother with Shax by disguising him as a dark elf. She is anything but serious.
Rolling your eyes as you always do when your dad gets like this, you turn to your mom. She shrugs with an insufferably little smile of confidence. Bitch is making fun of you. Gritting your teeth, you turn back to your dad. "C'mon, Shax isnt' all that bad. She isn't going to murder people for the heck of it. I've been around her enough to know that. Heck, you can ask my brother. He was impressed by her, too."Your father just waves his hand, leaning over and fixing you with The Look, "I've seen the oceans rise, great terrible beasts rising with them. These leviathans are the ones the Kuo-Toa worship as demigods. Great tentacled beasts, eager to break and enslave lesser species. Blibdoolpoolp is not a kind goddess, and she sees all as inferior to her. The kuo-toa won't be spared from her favored demons either. This is what your goblin friend will help usher in."Raising your finger, you begin counter arguing, "If Shax is a goddess that means she can stop that from happening, right? So what's the big deal! Besides, how many thousands of years will it take for that to happen? The sea mother told Shax that the flood would be gradual.""Oh, so she's told you she intends exactly that, and you still assist? You're too far gone, daughter. Too far gone, indeed. Still, I've seen the future. There is little I can do to stop her from getting the orb anyway. You can have it. Just understand the future you will create is not set in stone." He gives you a strange smile."What's that supposed to mean?" You hate it when he is weird like this."Only that the ascension need not include Shax alone. Force your way into the ritual, daughter, or ensure someone else is there to lead her onto a path of righteousness."Your mom is toying with her sword again, "Or I could just kill the goblin for you, and solve the whole issue.">Mom, please, don't. Thanks dad, I'll be sure to tell her about all that business!>Mom, c'mon, cut it out. Dad, Shax has it under control.
>>34679167>Mom, please, don't. Thanks dad, I'll be sure to tell her about all that business!Well we already chose Blaise so it's not an issue.
>>34679167>Mom, please, don't. Thanks dad, I'll be sure to tell her about all that business!D-don't tell me Allonces is going to dock with Blaise and Shax too!
>>34679167>Mom, please, don't. Thanks dad, I'll be sure to tell her about all that business!So, who else thinks Shax should have a talk with ElfDad? (We need someone to make us Island Turtles and this guy seems legit)
>>34679235>Docking with a petThat's just wrong and gross. You should feel bad and we need mortal blade anyway.
>>34679167>>Mom, please, don't. Thanks dad, I'll be sure to tell her about all that business!
>>34679235>already forgetting that best pet was promised foreverI'm still surprised the ink we used washed out.
>>34679167Sounds good mom. You do that!
>>34679167>Mom, please, don't. Thanks dad, I'll be sure to tell her about all that business!Sea mom's got some explaining to do.
>>34679167>Mom, please, don't. Thanks dad, I'll be sure to tell her about all that business!Shax likes sea and turtles but she likes shores and lands and villages too. Especially beaches. She loves beaches. If she knows that will happen she will not let it.
>>34679284Probably not a good idea. Her mom is most likely near the top of the swordsdaint list!
Hopefully, we can pacify Sea Mom with the power of love.
>>34679323What explaining? She told this all already.
>>34679390Yes but the thing here is that the elves are saying it'll be instantaneous, while Sea Mom told Shax it's gradual over a loooooooooong time.That could just be silly Elven perspective but something here's not kosher.
Give me a d20 calm mom's murderboner check.You should know that this is a common place check to make, right?!
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>34679435Come on, dice, don't fail me now!
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>34679435Moms in this quest are pretty scary.
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>34679435
>>34679417No. It's definitely the elvish perspective bring that a few tens of thousands of years might as well be next month. Allonces' dad was shocked she nknew how soon the watery apocalypse would come, not that she'd been lied to.
>>34679453DICE YOU FAILED ME.DICE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.IS THIS ABOUT LAST TUESDAY? I TOLD YOU THAT d10 MEANT NOTHING TO ME.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>34679435Late roll!>the wartyrHail SeaMom!
>>34679417>are saying it'll be instantaneousLearn to read.
>>34679464I actually upped the dc to 14 because Allonces' mom would love to murder Shax. Oh well. Writing.
>>34676456This missed me. Did not see one in ages.
>>34679629>Passed the check.That's a shame.
"Mom, seriously, don't try to kill Shax. She might accidentally beat and kill you. She's ki-" You stop that phrase. You almost told her that Shax has killed a dragon. There would be no way your mom wouldn't fight her then. And as much as you don't get along with her, you don't particularly want Shax or your mom to die. Jeez, they just don't make it easy on you, do they?You walk over to your dad, taking the orb gratefully, "Thanks, dad. Look. I don't think things will be as bad as you say, I mean, Shax is pretty chaotic, but she isn't interested in wanton slaughter of everything on the planet. Besides, I'm sure she has a plant to keep her goblin friends alive when the earth floods. All I gotta do is talk her into letting us in on that plan as well. See, simple stuff!" You bid a quick goodbye and get the hell out of here before they change your minds. When you exit the temple, you quickly go to where the raid was hiding. Shax looks sick with worry, and Alfonse is standing next to her. You were told that thing was brainless, but you don't believe it for one second!----------------------------You are now Shax Gloombreaker! Pretty cool goblin!Allonces finally showed up with the dumb orb, just like she said she wouldn't be able to. "How did you get this from your parents? You said they wouldn't hand it over if you just asked!"The elf girl looks away, "It wasn't, uh, that simple. I had to pass a trial of adulthood to prove myself to my mother and father, and then they, uh, entrusted the orb to me. For safe keeping. Obviously." Allonces tosses her hair, an arrogant smile on her face. "By the way, my dad says the Sea Mother plans on flooding the earth super fast. Might want to bring that up with her, next time?"You make a face. She did? Why would she say something like that? Seems a little mean. Oh well, you'll just ask her.>Smash the orb! Let's talk to these gods.>Hold the orb! Let's go turn in the scepter real fast.>Call up Sea Mom!
>we will never get enough XP for our finishing move
>>34679835>Call up Sea Mom!
>>34679835>Hold the orb! Let's go turn in the scepter real fast.Just gotta handle some things and we'll get right back on this god thing.
>>34679835>Go talk to Allonces' dad.We should see about investing in flood mitigating magics.
>>34679835I'd like to talk to Allonce's day too, if that's at all possible. We've been getting by with playing it by ear, but I think it's time we get a bit more savvy with our plans.
>>34679835>Hold the orb! Let's go turn in the scepter real fast.We're the best daughter.
Time to have a chat with sea mom? Alright.Give me a d20 check for reasons.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>34680188
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>34680188
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>34680188Love you Mom!
>>34679835Hey Chief, quick question. I we wanted to turn the ascension plan into a three way jump instead of just Blaise and Shax, we'd probably want to buffer the third crew member with a throne or two, right?Also, can we still easily find that magically unstable guy who was after a fire throne?
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>34680188
>>34680233Ho. Alright.>>34680234A throne is basically required to make sure she doesn't get consumed by the AETHERIC ENERGIES, yes.Writing.
>>34679853Of course not, we'd need two levels for that.
>>34680345So quickly get Allonces a throne?
>>34680466That was my thought. That girl's bound to do something silly.
>>34680466This >>34680529 If we don't Allonces might do something like try and take one of Blaise's thrones. If we help her get one it's pretty much a win win.
>>34680529>>34680564Or one of ours.That would be problematic.
Do we really even need to bother getting throne for Allonces.Allonces's dad said either ascend with her or get someone else to so Shax has someone to be a moral guide.Blaise is already going to ascend with us and she's 10x more of a responsible moral compass than Allonces.
>>34680800You think Allonces would actually try something as idiotic as that? Even she should know how risky it'd be.
>>34680884I agree with this. We really don;t need to be dragging Allonces along with us.
>>34680914Yeah, Allonces is more mortal blade tier.Hell, Chief even said once that Allonces follows Shax out of hero worship/envy of her carefree lifestyle so she's the best fit for following Shax's divine commandments.
>>34680897Ah, yes, but on the other hand, we ARE talking about Allonces.She'd probably try and rub it in our face after the deed, too. And I really don't want to have to remind her of the chain of command and how things work around here.
>>34680966That's true. Along with most of the other members being tied to god already I believe.
>>34680897Yes. Yes I do.
>>34680966Allonces and Shax are very alike.That's probably why they get on each other's nerves.
"Alright, so smash that thing and we can get on with it," Blaise says, a hint of excitement in her voice.You hold up a hand, "I dunno how long this Ascension business is gonna take, you know? And I still got some business to take care of. Like that sea mom thing. She wants me to run an errand over in Manderlay real fast."Blaise crosses her arms, "What's that demonic deity need with my city, mistress? That doesn't seem like something that'd be good for anyone."Shaking your head, you shrug, "I thought I knew, to be honest! I was gonna go ask her to see if she had changed her mind or something dumb like that. Anyways, I'll catch you later, Blaise." With that you plop down cross legged, and start to concentrate really hard.Cool waves lap at your feet and legs, and quickly you are submerged. You open your eyes to the familiar flitting of light in the dark, deep sea. "Hey, Shax. What's up?""Hey Sea Mom, I gotta question 'bout that flooding business. Mind telling more more about it?" You tilt your head, even as your hair floats freely in the water. You're wearing your swimsuit for some reason."Oh, sure, it's going to be great. I'll user in a new era of diluvial terror! I've even got these sweet sea monsters dreamed up that will help enforce my cruel, whimsical demands." Sea mom's tentacles writhe happily. Well, the ones you can see, at least."That, uh, that sounds neat. But, what abuot my goblin people? How do I keep them from being terrorized or whatever?" You're a little worried about their future now."Oh, I don't know. I'm sure they'll be fine." You concentrate really hard on this statement. After a bit, you determine that she's lying."Hey, I'm gonna need some promises, Sea Mom. I don't mean to be all demandin' after all this time, but I don't like not knowin', you know?"The primordial diety regards you coolly for a bit, in silence.>Push the matter. Get something from her.>Bargain with her/offer to do something in return.
>>34681114>Push the matter. Get something from her.Seaworld sounds cool. I'm fine with that. But the assumption has always been to get giant island turtles or something to keep the land folks alive and not turn the world into a nightmare.
>>34681114>Bargain with her/offer to do something in return.The ocean's cool and all, but flooding the world won't make you happy, right Sea Mom? There must be something you're compensating for. Like a lost love.
>>34681114>>Push the matter. Get something from her.After that we can then bargain for more.
>>34681114>Propose Island Turtle planThey're aquatic creatures, so it's a win-win, right?Or if that's too direct, propose that she give us dominion over ALL turtles. She knows we love 'em so it'll probably fly.
>>34681114>Push the matter. Get something from her.Shax does favors, yeah. But she doesn't really bargain.>>34681209Or this.
>>34681209I like this idea
>>34681209Turtle island safe zones are a great plan.
>>34681209This.It's not really worth bothering getting her to back down on the deep sea terror monsters, that's just something we'll have to put a stop to ourselves after ascending. We're pretty much the only person crazy enough to fuck with the plane of Avarice so Sea Mom kind of can't stop us after we're the new goddess there.
>>34681279Speaking of fucking the plane of Avarice, we need a plan.I know we're all expecting it to work out, it's that kind of quest after all, but I think every last person calling us crazy kind of indicates it's going to be hard.We at least need to work on some boss points so a poorly placed nat 1 doesn't ruin everything.
>>34681114>Bargain with her/offer to do something in return.She could just make a bunch of islands for a Wind Waker style world and have just as much fun making them think they still have safe havens. After all, she'd decide when anyone gets to go to any other place and has the majority of the planet under her control.And we could make a turtle island and that'd be super neato.
>>34681384>fucking the plane of AvariceI think you forgot a word there.
>>34681114Maybe we should explain that we care about her a lot and our friends and that we don;t want to sacrifice any of them.
Okay. I like this whole propose an alternate plan thing.Give me a d20! You also get a boss point.
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>34681568
>>34681578Well that happened
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>34681114C'mon, sea mom. I know it seems cool at first, but you're just gonna get bored of it later.Hungerer guy doesn't eat all of the goblins, because then there wouldn't be any goblins left to eat. And he's literally the god of being greedy. If Shax owned everything, there'd be nothing left to loot. Hell, the only things able to be looted would be SHAX'S THINGS. Which means anyone doing any looting would have to be stealing from Shax instead of from other people! That's terrible!If you flood everything, there's gonna be nothing left to flood. I know "mwahaha everything will be under my dominion and full of fishbeasts forever" sounds cool in theory, but it's stupid.>>34681568mom pls>>34681578thx mom
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>34681568>>34681578Sasuga turtles.
>>34681578No mom can say no to such a cute face!
>>34681578hey mom can I have thisoh shax you know I can't resist youWriting that except 2000 characters long.
>>34681578I see the dice love turtles too.
>Turtle islands>Sea goblins and sea elves>pirates>sunny beachesWE'RE GETTING A GOLDEN END
>>34681870Don;t forget marrying the maid god.
>>34681891>marrying?Why would we marry our servant?
>>34682083We already have.
>>34682083Wow dude where have you been. Thats our top goal for like several threads now.
>>34682083Because we are in love.
Shax is too pure to marry anyone
>>34682252Blaise is also too pure.
Sorry I was making dinner. Writing, and there will be a small pause for me to eat dinner as well soon. I'll run till 8 to try and make up for it.
>>34682252But the marriage of master and maid is the most pure.
>>34682284>>34682349But marriage is an impure concept, pure meet pure cannot produce impurity!
>>34682488Trap hentai mangas disagree with you.
>>34682083Gods have to be married after ascension, it's a rule.Divorce is okay, though.
>>34682549Why? I'm just pointing out a flaw in his arguement!
You run a finger along your chin. "You see, I dunno how gradual this flood is going to be. I mean. It may be all slow to a goddess who has lived for a billion years, or it may be super quick. Your sense of scale and mine aren't gonna be the same, right? So I ain't sayin' you're lying, right? But what if it happens faster than any of us are ready for? So I figure, I gotta give my friends some place to live in case that happens." The sea mom just floats there, silently.You place your hands behind your head, leaning back, letting your legs dangle in the water. "So I was figuring, you know I like turtles, right? And you probably have at least some dominion over them, right?" The sea mother flickers, in what you can assume is assent, "So I figure. Why not give me ownership of turtles? You know, like make them my official animal and let me have their domain and stuff.""Interesting. I do have the ability to grant you that." The sea mom sounds amused.You grin. "Great! So I was thinking, turtles can swim, and be big, right?""Absolutely.""So, why not make them sorta floating islands where people can live on? That way you can still cover the world in water, and people can still live. It all works out, right?" You beam. This is the best idea you've ever had!"As long as I am paid some tribute, this all sounds fine by me. I'd prefer only pure aquatic races, but this sounds acceptable. I wouldn't want to make a new deific ally angry, after all. You are planning to ascend, right?"With a nod, you give the sea mother a thumbs up, "Alright, thanks for the help! I've gotta go now. See ya."You snap your eyes open, landing back in the world you know. You give Blaise a thumbs up. "I own turtles now."She gives you a weird look. "You've always had some turtles.""No. I own all turtles, now."With a sigh, Blaise just shrugs.>Let's book it to Manderlay and turn this rod in.>Let's smash the orb and then see what needs to be done then book it.
>>34682646>>Let's smash the orb and then see what needs to be done then book it.They still got to forge whatever or something.
>>34682623Where do you, in trap, see anything pure ?
>>34682646>Let's book it to Manderlay and turn this rod in.
>>34682702Hime from Himegoto always seemed pretty pure to me.
>>34682646>Let's book it to Manderlay and turn this rod it.
>>34682750Please, stop shattering my false sense of security.Traps are evil, okay ?
>>34682646>Let's smash the orb and then see what needs to be done then book it.
>>34682646>Let's book it to Manderlay and turn this rod in.Gotta get this done asap.
>>34682646Book it to Blaise City!
>>34682646>Let's book it to Manderlay and turn this rod in.Time to live up to our end of the bargain.
>>34682646>>Let's book it to Manderlay and turn this rod in.Seamom best mom
>>34682646>Let's book it to Manderlay and turn this rod in.Better make mom proud.
>>34682646>Let's book it to Manderlay and turn this rod in.Sea Mom best mom, no more time to delay this.
>>34680302>>34680409yes, sauce please
>>34682788Whatever you say, anon.
>>34682937... Sauce? Please?Also, is it pornographic?
>>34682937That's impure as fuck
>>34682977You have no idea what purity means.
>>34682646>Go after those elven cultists and the fire gnoll guy?I don't want it to eeeeeeend
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>34682965Source is Himegoto.It's lewd as fuck, but not explicit.Well, the MC is shown topless a lot.
>>34682965http://bato.to/comic/_/comics/himegoto-tsukudani-norio-r2619No, it's not porn. But it's probably the gayest gag manga in existence.
>>34683000Why would you triple nat20 ?WHY ?!
Alright. Dinner consumed. Manderlay wins! Writing.
>>34683000>It's lewd as fuck, but not explicitYeah, there's a fuck ton of sexual tension between all the different characters. Like, you can see defined pairings but it's pretty easy to imagine the student council, the morals committee, and Tadokoro just all living in the same house together and living whatever perverted lifestyle they want in the future.
You get some more food from camp, proudly telling everyone you encounter that you are the owner of all turtles. Some people believe you. Some of those are even impressed. Mostly, people have no idea what the hell you are talking about. After a bit, you get with Allonces and pat her on the shoulder. "Don't you worry 'bout the Sea Mom. I got that all figured out. We're all gonna live on turtles." Allonces stares at you. She clearly has no idea what you mean, but also has decided it isn't worth figuring out."So you gonna crack that orb and get to ascendin' yet, Shax?"You shake your head, "Nope, gotta give this thing up." You wave the Sea Mom rod."Oh? But that thing is cool," Allonces says, trying to mooch off your food."Eh, it's pretty neat. But I gotta turn it in. So we're heading to Manderlay!" You snap your fingers and bring out a pearl. "So tell us a pretty safe place to put this thing so we can hop over real fast." Allonces sighs, once more telling you how to get around in elf country to avoid various problems you might encounter---------------------------------Thanks for playing! It was a lot of fun. Participation seemed way up, too? Maybe it was just the timing. Either way I'm happy! You guys are great. I'd hand out exp, but I really don't think it matters at this point. Sorry!Next thread sometime this week, not sure when. I'll let you guys know on Twitter as always. I hope to see you there!Oh, here is a bonus sketch of an upcoming commission. Just for you. Don't tell anyone.
>>34683380Thanks for running!
>>34683380>dat picCan't wait to see it finished.Thanks for the thread too! I'm going to be sad to see this quest end soon, but it's been fun. This has been my favorite quest and one of the few where the players were relaxed and fun enough that I enjoyed participating in it.
>>34683380We need more XP, man.Please tell us we're gonna get a huge amount of XP soon.
>>34683380That's a nice sketch, but are Shax and Blaise SUPPOSED to be the same height?
>>34683380That looks magnificent. Seriously.What would more thrones do at this point to our ascension? Increase the number of domains we ultimately own? Power up Allonces as a Mortal Blade?btw, Combining Flame and Ice thrones for temperature control might be kinda important in a land of endless see and no shade.Also, I'm never going to get here early enough to get a vote in, am I?
>>34683476You could probably consider ascension equivalent to getting all the XP.
>>34683380That looks great Chief, 10/10 would adventure with.
>>34683483I always assumed Axe-girl was a shorty or even a child at first but Chief said otherwise at one point, I think?Then again, Shax wasn't green at one point either.
So, I've read most if not all the archive, and I have just one question.Where do you people keep your horrible shax smutI know you have some, now hand them pastebins over!
>>34683573But we don't.
>>34683573Shax is too innocent for smut!Also the one time a smuttyish thing was posted we started failing rolls all over the place
>>34683606>>34683584Not even any goblet stories?Maybe I should try my hand one of these days.
>>34683380Holy shit. I nearly creamed myself once I had a close look at who those girls were.
>>34683677You mean they're not just Shax and Blaise?
>>34683380>We're all gonna live on turtlesThat sounds like a great setting. A world where everyone lives on giant living turtle islands.
>>34683752>>34683380>Shax creates A'tuin and the Discworldummmmm
>>34683752I kind of want to run a campaign set after Shax's ascension. It sounds like a lot of fun.
>>34683752What do we call the giant turtle islands?I wanna name three of them Zinsu, Tuin and Leo.
>>34683802Only if we're pirates. On a small island turtle.
>>34683772Discworld does seem to run on a logic Shax would support.
>>34683752I'm kind of imagining it as a mix of One Piece, Wind Waker, and CATastrophe.
>>34683918And a little like that Gargantia anime
>>34683974The non-Urubutcher parts, right?
>>34683974Why does that ship have a panzer turret welded to it?
>>34684125According to wikipedia that series takes place on a post apocalyptic earth, so I'm gonna assume they found the thing and decided it looked intimidating. Gotta look scary to scare off other pirates, ya know?
I love how our explanation to Blaise about our drowning the world is basically "It's going to happen anyway, at least this way I can make sure at least SOME people survive, your people(maybe), my people, some other people. All living on Giant Island Turtles"Also, considering we would own the only "land", Shax is going to be a huge fucking deity, like, making the Hungerer look like a minor god level importance, as all races, everywhere, living on our Giant Island turtles would have to worship us, and offer Tributes to Mom of course.Like, we would basically be Gaia for the non-aquatic / amphibian races.
>>34684399Considering that the plane of Avarice is already this gigantic powerful place that no other god will even try and mess with, Shax won't just be a huge fucking diety, she'll probably be THE diety.
>>34684399If Mom really does fill the depths with deep-dwelling abominations, Shax could also be worshiped as a God of Protection.Because if something from the Depths decides to be a dick and attack said Turtle, it's going to get it's shit snapped in half.Shit, Shax and the Sea Mom are practically as Important as a real Pantheon already.Blaise can have the sky, and lewd with Shax.Allonces can be the minor deity of Shax's Ultra-Super Pantheon of Lewd.
>>34684489Don't forget Shax is also the god of light now, so every bioluminescent creature of the deep pays homage to her and bears her blessing.Water world is very good for our portfolio.
>>34684489>Storms that drive away the terrors of the deep from the Great Turtles are actually the result of LEWD between Shax and Blaise.This is the best setting.
>>34683918That's exactly what I was thinking.Holy shit, that'd be a great setting. We've been playing a creation myth all this time.
>>34684730I love the way you guys think.
If we gave some turtles to Blaise would they become flying sky turtle islands?
>>34685132>Giving Blaise the TurtleL-LEWD
>>34685132Implying Blaise isn't going to be set on teddy bear shaped cloud islands.
>>34685132>Giving her the T
>>34685132>flying ice turtles
>>34685215>>34685132Y'know this setting sounds suspicious.>Teddy Bear shaped cloud banks>(Possibly) Flying Turtles only spoken of in Legend>Giant Beautiful Sea Turtle Islands with crystal outcroppings that turn the light into beautiful rainbow patterns across the pure white sand at the edge of the Turtle shells>Endless pure blue / green ocean, from the banks of the Turtles there is no telling where the sea ends and the sky beginsActually, it sounds like a fuckin paradis->Underneath the water>Eldritch Horrors that crack the mind>Their thousands of enslaved, inbred and horribly mutated races serving them and acting as food>Horrible dark cities where unknowable and terrifying things dwell>Places so deep that the Light is consumed by the dark, giving birth to an endless abyss that is further populated by things that make the eldritch horrors above it look tame.Whelp.
>>34685323But even then, there shall be light in the darkness.Shax will have her own mortal blade by then.
>>34685323I think you're forgetting that Blaise is the dark. Light and Darkness get along in this setting.
>>34685379That just kinda makes it worse, because the three major gods are bestest buddies.Also, apparently the Goddess of Darkness and ice is the maid of the Goddess of the Turtles and Light, who in turn was the mortal blade of the Sea Mother, and is really, really good friends with her somehow.
>>34685323Eh, folk just need to stay out of the water. S'not that hard.Still a reasonably nice setting.
>>34685368>Shax will have her own mortal blade by thenI can't decide whether or not Shax would pick an actual turtle to be her mortal blade or not. Im thinking she would.
>>34685413It's not that weird, lots of myths don't have "evil" dieties. Hades gets a bad rep but he was on okay terms with the Olympians, just bitter over being stuck with the Underworld. Most of the bad shit happens because the good guys get in an argument.Norse mythology is the same way. Loki is just a silly fuck up who gets forced to fix everything until eventually he fucks up beyond fixing and goes insane from his punishment.
>>34685323It's kinda horrific in it's deception.>Haha! I'm going to dive under the water!>FUCK YOU
>>34685491What if sea turtles had special crystals that ward away the monsters?Let's fish congregate near them and protects boats.
>>34685470I'm personally trying to figure out if the Goblins will evolve into whatever-the-fuck that .gif / picture people keep posting of a sea goblin/elf or a Kappa.
>>34685323Kind of reminds me of that Skyworld setting /tg/ was doing.Comfy as fuck at the top, gradually get grimmer as you approach the bottom.
>>34685323>Underneath the waterI'm sorry, but I can't stop replacing everything you have here with the Merfolk and Sea Kings from One Piece. And it is glorious.
>>34685555Sea Kings get a bad rep because the smaller ones keep getting one-shotted by OP pirates and such but those fuckers are scary. Especially when you include Poseidon into the equation.
>>34685555Not that One Piece is really a paradise. Of course, outside the insane shit that is the Grand Line, most of that is from more "real world issues" and stuff rather than the environment.
>>34685476I can't help but think that Shax's mortal blade would just be stuck with a shit job in that setting>Gains ridiculous amounts of Strength, slays armies, fights abominations from outside time, slays a Sea-Dragon>It was all to deliver a letter from Shax to a High Priest of the Sea Marm calling him a dick for upsetting her maid by talking about enslaving the surface races and eating her turtles>Mortal Blade of Shax becomes minor god of Messengers and Dick-Smashing.>Sea Mom laughs uncontrollably.
>>34685637It'll be an epic quest to free the merpeople and bring light to the abyss.
>>34685637>Paladin of the Dick Smasher, Follower of the Order of ShaxTHERE IS NO DICK I CANNOT SMASH!Make it happen.
>>34685637>eating her turtlesAll turtles get laser eyes. Calling it now.
>>34685764It's laser breath, anon. Deep sea terror repelling crystals growing on their shells and laser breath.
>>34685791>godzilla turtlesFUND IT
>>34685764I was more or less thinking that they had "Mountains" of Crystal spires jutting from the top and bottom of their body that were more or less Nod Obelisks of Light.Make the Turtles, Turtling Bastards if you will.
I think my favorite thing about this setting is that it sounds like it was made up by a little kid in the best way possible.
>>34685791Nope. Laser eyes allow beam spam, and we both know Shax is 1000% behind that.
>>34685815But her turtles literally already have laser breath. And laser breath is cooler!How about they have both?
>>34685810Bright and Beautiful, but cruel as all fuck because it doesn't really understand the horrors it has made lying in wait under the shiny surface?
>>34685810Giant monsters, high adventure, and an ever changing world to explore?Best setting.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcNLuH1XWfI
>>34685810Shax is essentially just a little kid with a lot of common sense, and she's the one making the world here. It makes sense.
>>34685801Oh, you're talking about the Island Turtles. Thought we were on about their little cousins. Yah I'm totally down with Island Turtles having an optical defense grid surrounding a central node.
>>34685859It also kinda explains why we are all "L-lewd" with her and Blaise and yet no ULTRALEWD things have been drawn or written yet.Because it is the PUREST OF LOVE and should not be TAINTED by our MORTAL AND FLAWED CONCEPT OF LOVE.
Post more sea adventure songs.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPheoN_79TE
>>34685839What? Like the bad guy for Big Trouble In Little China?>Dissaprovement.
>>34686007No, like Nicolas Cage in any movie he's ever been in.
>>34686035That only works when he's on fire and not ghost rider.
>>34686114I beg to differ.Every movie, he shoots laser beams out of his eyes and mouth.
>>34686166>Lord of War>Not at the top
>>34686035You know, he kind of does look like a turtle.
What about dorfs? Illithids, liches, drow, kobold and the myriad of races work their culture around Giant Sea Turtles? What happens when a turtle dies? How will they mate? Will the turtles call us Mom all the time? Can Allonces get some power and live eternally?
>>34686624Just make the turtles immortal. Allonces is already descended from an immortal so it wouldn't be hard for her to do that on her own, especially since she'll have a ridiculously long life anyway.
>>34686624I can't answer all of those but>Will the turtles call us Mom all the time?No. There's only one Mom, and that's SeaMom. The turtles will call us Big Sis Shax, even if Shax is smaller than most of them.
>>34686166>no Drive AngryShit chart
>>34686624Honestly, the turtles would be large enough that people inland probably won't even be all that mindful of the fact they're on a living thing. I'd expect the culture to be less about turtles and more about making sure Shax let's them keep the turtle.
>>34686624>What about dorfs?There would still be mountains. I'm not sure you understand how big these turtles will be.>Illithids, liches, drow, kobold and the myriad of races work their culture around Giant Sea Turtles?Yes.>What happens when a turtle dies?Calamity? The world needs potential for huge-scale disaster.>How will they mate?I think they'd just spawn from Shax magic.>Will the turtles call us Mom all the time?>>34686732>Can Allonces get some power and live eternally?Didn't she get a boon from an elven goddess? Maybe she can learn to be immortal on her own.
>>34686885>>How will they mate.>Shax magic.So, lasers?
Does this come into play somewhere?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlCGZwc2A9M
>>34687600I'm just going to go with yes. Somehow,
>>34687600This is what we offer sea mom in exchange for some help against the Hungerer
>>34687145Two turtles meet, they fire their lasers at each other, and where one is struck tiny turtle island eggs form, only the size of boulders, and when they hatch upon the back of their island turtle shore, make their way to the sea to continue the grand miracle of life, possibly with some settlers.
>>34689298I'm not gonna lie, that's cool as fuck.
>>34682646>"So I figure. Why not give me ownership of turtles? You know, like make them my official animal and let me have their domain and stuff."
>>34683380>proudly telling everyone you encounter that you are the owner of all turtles. >Some people believe you. Some of those are even impressed.>Mostly, people have no idea what the hell you are talking about.>Years down the road.>Everywhere is sea.>All living things not aquatic live on turtles.>Shax owns all the turtles.>People remember her telling way back when she told them all cheerfully she owns turtles, all the turtles, now.>They had not understood what it meant.