I'm back! I hope we haven't all forgotten what time it is~You guessed it! Also, I cleaned out my history and cookies, trip may come out different.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=neckbeard+questPrevious threadsIf you wish to switch character files, even number must simply suggest PAUSE, FILE SELECT. You may second even numbers in hopes your post lands an even number.--->Cousin Garush will you stop!
>It's not often I get to meet handsome nice gentlemen."I ams just lookings out for you-">BUT don't you want to get ice cream with me and my cousin Garush?>You'll pay, right?
>RIIIIGHT~?You are now Mako. How are you gonna get this dame seperated from Garush?
>>34523725"Sure, me and you (the dame) will go and collect the Icecream, need three hands after all."
>>34523725TELI'S BACK!!AND SHE USED MY SUGGESTION FROM LAST THREAD!!!Mako, you have your laxatives on you right?
>>34523725Mako: Hynotizing Glare on Garush!
>>34523725She is hot, this is /tg/ I know how to do this i would like to roll to seduce
>>34523725Ask them if they're doing "The hand thing"
Rolled 3 (1d3)>>34524448You gave the big lump a HYPNOTIZING GLARE.1) You are successful2) You failed, and he ends up getting angry at you3) You end up hypnotizing Marie Elizabeth Wilhelmina Marika Derrietta von Lorgarovich ... The third~
>>34524878Time to get naked!
>>34524878Get her to take off her clothes.
>>34524878get her to tell garush to leave so you can have ice cream date alone
>>34524878Tell her that you two should be alone for the date.
so much odds
Well... That worked!>>34524934>Time to get naked!".. Y... Yes.."
(Also, I hope you don't mind me not fully coloring things, so I'm able to post quicker.)"Yes, of course.. Naked."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!""MAKO WHAT AMS YOU DOINGS"
>>34525513Dude, this is just a dream. Chillax, I'm just asleep. None of this is real.
>>34525513Out of my way, greenskin!
>>34525513FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY
>>34525548>Out of my way, greenskin!"NO!"
It's too late for him, she's down to her panties, stockings and shoes.
And it looks like she's sporting a banana in those panties.
>>34526501Peel it. Duh!
>>34526501HOLY SHIT, PANIC
>>34526501Curl up in a fetal position and start crying.
>>34526501Looks like she wasn't kidding when she said she was from /d/.
>Neckbeard Quest is backI didn't need to sleep anyway.
>>34526514You break free of Garush's hold and run toward Marie Elizabeth, to peel said banana."You comings back here this instances!"
You peeled the banana.
>>34527022Be utterly confused. Unsure what to do now.
>>34527022Run away, right into Garush's fist
>>34527022Dramatic "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" with camera panning into space
>>34527056She wasn't kidding when she said she was from-
You are now Anon again.The blow to Mako's face snapped you out what seems to be some kind of hypnotic trance. You feel like you're groggy and going through a hangover now.
Forgot to mention, if I don't respond in a while, I could be sleeping. So try to keep the thread from 404ing before I come back, please. Night.
>>34527599Sleep tightDont let the bugs bite
>>34527589BumpGarush: Question what you ams doings with yous lifes.
>>34527589Garrush:"Anons, I ams worried for you. We live ins corrupt and perverted world, but we cans be above it. That maids dress is already leadings you down dark path."
>>34527589get clothes back on
Bump for this quest dying so hard due to teli only posting two updates before going to sleep like a retard
>>34527589BumpAnon put his clothes back and pretend nothing happen
>>34527589Get dressed and drag Mako somewhere else. He said he was dreaming, so, if he wakes up somewhere else, that will just confirm it for him
>>34530893He just thinks "she" is from /d/ now.
>>34527589Put normal clothes back on. More trouble than it was worth, with the hypnosis and all.
>>34532626Fuck that, we paid 900 moneys for that dress, we're damn well gonna wear it.
>>34527688>>34528706You slip on your MAIDEN'S DRESS while you still try to recollect what the fuck happened."You ams awakes now, Anons?"
>>34532950Pinch yourself to make sure
>>34532950Yeah, let's just get to class.But kick Mako first.
>>34532950It's a dangerous world out there Garush. Try flirting with some guy for ice cream and the next thing you know you're stripping naked.
>>34532950Kick on Mako's dick!
>>34532950>pretend that nothing happened
>>34532950Dig your high heels into one eye's scrotum.
>>34532950"It's hard being the little girl, Garush, but someone has to do it."
>>34533193Better idea; steal his eye. Hypnotism could be useful.
>>34533308Why should we steal his eye? We have already... Ok we need a eye or least pair of eyes.
>>34532950"Yeah, but fucking hell. I knew Mako was a perv but I didn't know he would go so far. Let's get out of here."
>>34532950"We will never speak of this again."
>>34533210>>34533272>It's hard being the little girl, Garush, but someone has to do it.You close up on Mako, a plan in mind.>>34533308>>34533630> I knew Mako was a perv but I didn't know he would go so far.
Rolled 7 (1d7)Mako is nearly waking up, but you plan on taking his eye, right?Here are your chances:1)You are successful, and you blind him for the rest of his life.2)You decide to not do it3)He freaks out and stabs you.4)He unconsciously fires a lazer from his eye.5)Garush stops you, tells you that ams not rights.6)Neckbeard bursts and and starts wrecking shit.7)Dog Shepard stops you.
>>34534205CURSE YOU DOG SHEPARD
"The fuck are you two doing?"
>>34534482Kicking a perv
>>34534482It was merely an act
>>34534482"He raped me with his eye"
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>34534680>>34534582>>34534556>>34534548Let's see what the dice will have us say..
>>34534582>It was merely an act."What act? What are you even talking about, Binge-kun?"
>>34534805Forget to use a feminine voice.
>>34534983"He was merely acting to be incapacitated."
>>34534983Change topic. "Nevermind. Who wants ice-cream? My treat."
>>34535002>>34535052>He was merely acting to be incapacitated."Well, okay, but that's not why I came to you.""You have something to do with that beardsrosity, right?"
>>34534983It was a cultural misunderstanding.
>>34535127Of course not, we're just a cute and innocent girl. We don't associate with neckbeards.
>>34535127Who? What? No!
>>34535127>adjust your wig "What's that? I've never heard of such a thing."
>>34535127You have the wrong person.
>>34535127"Well, yes. Not by my own choice, mind you. You know how forceful he can be..."
>>34535127Unfortunately yes. I hope I never see that creature again. Why?
Rolled 2 (1d3)>>34535218>>34535246>>34535282Do you lie, or do you tell the truth..?
>>34535246>Well, yes.>Not by my own choice, mind you.>You know how forceful he can be...".. I see.">Why do you ask?"Because that mutant bastard suffocated my little brother to death!"
>>34535704I'm just a little girl. How can I stand up to a big strong neckbeard like him?
>>34535704Good luck with that. We have class to get to.
>>34535704>>34535775He should come to class, too.
>>34535704"If you kill that awful beast I shall give you one lock of my hair. Good luck!"
>>34535704I bet the jews did this.
>>34535704"I'm sorry for your loss. It's not the first time he's taken innocent life. Nor the last time, I'm afraid. He claims his power comes from Devil himself and after seeing what he can do I honestly believe so. Taking on him on your own would be suicide but perhaps allying yourself with divine will help you overcome him and put end to his rampage."
>>34535704He...he...*Sniff**Cry*Because of him, I'm a ruined woman!
>>34535704Hm, yeah. See that's the sort of reason why I never want to see that guy again. Please don't get me involved.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>34535874>>34535926>>34536108>>34536150What should we tell him, dice?
>>34535874>If you kill that awful beast I shall give you one lock of my hair.>Good luck~!"Anons, please-"
>>34537333"GODDAMMIT! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!! I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH ANY FUCKING NECKBEARD!!!"
>>34537333SOMETHING SOMETHING TRANSPHOBIC
>>34537333>Put your wig back onYou can forget about getting a lock of my hair, jerk!
>>34537333>run to class>use Garush as cover
>>34537378>GODDAMMIT! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!! "No.">I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH ANY FUCKING NECKBEARD!!!"Too bad, because I got something very fuckin' important to say.""Backs off-""You're gonna listen too, okay, gaijin?"
"If this monster has any of your scents, you're a target.""We're both targets of him, binge-kun. He'll be after us and our loved ones, whether or not to keep us as servants or just kill us for going against him.""If we just ignore and avoid him, more posters will become targets and slaves to him. We don't know what he has planned, or if he has anything planned, but we need to deal with it now and snip this problem at the bud.""Or, rather, you can just keep running and hiding for your entire life. But he'll catch you. He'll catch you when he's got enough power.""Now, do you really want to just hide and wait, watch the people you know and probably tolerate in the least get indentured and eaten by this already growing demon?"
>>34537976"Report him to the mods. He's their problem."
>>34537976"....Your good with words. Fine.""But Anons!""No Garush, he's right. But, we can't handle neckbeard yet, not with our strength, plus he's got more allies than us. We need to train and gather more allies.... and I know just the person to call."Cut to Charlotte.
>>34538125>[training montage intensifies]
>>34537976He's not my responsibility!
>>34537976I am but a schoolgirl, how could I hope to defeat the beardstrosity?
>>34537976>put your wig on"Obviously my perfume will cover up my scent."
Rolled 3 (1d5)>>34538002>>34538170>>34538198>>34538204>>34538362Shit, what do we tell him?
>>34538198>He's not my responsibility!>Just let the mods take care of him!"No, he's not your responsibility. He's OUR responsibility.""And mods weren't able to ban him, not like he won't ban evade anyway. It's either us or some miracle that will take care of it, and that miracle won't ever happen."
>>34538876Fine... but I get to have my wig back?
>>34538876Tell him to go ask Charlotte for help. She's a mean magical unicorn that can fuck shit up. We're just a dainty lady.
>>34538876"You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?"
>>34538876Then it is your duty to appeal to the great mootykins directly. This is your quest, farewell brave traveller!
>>34538876What can I do to stop him huh? Hope his weakness is alcohol flavored tears?
>>34538876What am I even supposed to do to help? And where's my wig?
>>34538998>Then it is your duty to appeal to the great mootykins directly.>This is your quest, farewell brave traveller!
"Come on, Garush">H-HEY!
>L-LET GO!"No.""... Ams this necessaries?""Yes."
SELECT CHARACTER:>Neckbeard>Yorick>/k/ay>Mimic>/d/ealer>Torpedo Asshole>Anry
>>34540752Character Select: Kay.
>>34540789>>34540792Isn't Yorrick possessing /k/ay? Regardless, I'll second /k/ay.
>>34540932It might have worn off by now.
>>34540792>>34540932>Christ, my head...It is 5:15 PM, your head is pounding like it's a hangover, you have no idea what happened or where you are. Your ass is also very, very sore.
>>34541081Look at your surroundings. Wonder why you have hair.
>>34541081>look around>try to remember what happened
>>34541081Check ass for traps
>>34541081Brush your hair out of your eyes.Wait... hair?
>>34541081Psychically call out to your husband.
>>34541081....why do you have hair?
>>34541140You take a gander at your settings. It turns out to be some kind of hotel room. There is loud music outside of the room you are in. There is also a naked man lying right beside you, a bouquet of roses on the floor with a sash hanging over it that says ANAL PRINCESS 2013.>>34541172You brush the hair out of your eyes-
Wait, HAIR? Oh, fuck no.
>>34542399Time to find and punish Yorrick.
>>34542399Check the room for your belongings, you feel naked without your gun.
>>34542435This must be dealt with and husband must NEVER KNOW.That bitch is lucky if we don't throw her head into a fire somewhere.
>>34542451Yorick is dead.
>>34542451Violently interrogate man in bed.
>>34542451Find your things. Search the room thoroughly in case Yorick is hiding.
>>34542451tie up the man next to you >Where is the head
>>34542451Ponder why you are the anal princess
>>34542736Do we rule the anal kingdom?
>>34542736We have a sore ass and got an award for it. Take a guess.
>>34542658Your things are scattered around the room. Your gun is ontop of the dresser and your turtle neck is on the floor. You do not see your jeans, flats and jackets anywhere.>>34542668You do not have anything to tie up the sleeping man with.
>>34542917Put on your turtleneck and grab your gun. Open the door and look outside.
>>34542917Check your ass for anything someone could have forgotten inside. Extra inventory space!
>>34542917Tie him up in the bedsheets
>>34542917Find Yorick. She will be punished for this.
>>34542917Steal his pants and shoes. Loot his pockets.
>>34542998>>34544178You equip your turtleneck, the man's pants and shoes.His shoes are pretty big and his pants are loose. There is a wallet with 500 money inside.You took your gun and peeked outside, there is noise going on downstairs.>>34543018You find a used condom full of cum inside your butthole. It has been moved to your inventory.
I'm new, can someone explain this quest to me?
>>34543022You make a rope out of the bedsheets.Quick, tie him up before he wakes!
>>34544749Successfully tie him up.Attempt to locate Yorick.
>>34544749Locate the sound of screeching. There you will find Yorick.
>>34544749Interrogate the /fit/izen. Where is Yorrick?
>>34544721Try to find a belt to make the pants tighter. Do we still have our holster?
arro bamp cool quest!
>>34544749>Tie him up>Wake him"Where did the head go?"
>>34545045Indeed. Time to get some head!...wait.
I should of been specific. Quick, DRAW THE ROPE before he wakes up!*>>34545106Well, you did make a rope out of bed sheets, you can use that as a belt since his belt wouldn't do much for you. Plus side is you can skip this inane minigame and head straight to the source of the loud partying downstairs!
>>34545687Head down to the party.
>>34545687Let's be on the lookout for any loud screeching.
>>34545687>go to party>find the head>kill the head>Enjoy party>????>profit
>>34545687>Put on anal princess ribbonWe're a celebrity now. >Head downstairs.
>>34545687Nail him down, too!
>>34545687Wear anal princess with pride, dammit.
(god damn you i lost my sides)>>34546014You used what you could do what was envisioned:Ripped up some more sheets, gagged him with said sheets and a pair of his undies, a torn pillow sheet to blind him and what ever was left. The first nail driven into him woke him up, but he's still unable to move."MMMF-!!"But we can't waste no more time-
- It's time to party.
"HERE'S SOME FOR THOSE OATS TO GO WITH THOSE SQUATS, BABE"
>>34546473Aw, she looks like a real doll.Burn her.
>>34546473Shoot her. We're a simple person with simple plans.
>>34546473Go straight up to her and punch her head off.And then carry it around as a trophy.
>>34546494You don't have your lighter on you, or anything to set her aflame.You can always do a vocal burn.
>>34546863Shove the gun up her vestigial ass."Bow to the princess, bitch."Full auto.
>>34546922>Full auto.I don't think our gun has full auto. But we can always magdump.
>>34546863Just take the head off.
>>34546863Cut off one head.Watch in horror as another two grow to replace it.
>>34547337Oh God, what?I....have to second this, because I kind of want to see it.
>>34546922"WOO-HOO! Somebody's getting FRISKY-"
>Bow to the princess, bitch.
What the hell, where did the ammo in this thing go-"Oh, you're up!"
>>34547564Punch her head off.Then watch in horror as two more grow to replace it.I really want to create a monster tonight, for some reason.
>>34547564>We forgot to check it for ammoOh shit. Engage in fisticuffs.
>>34547564Fuck.... just rip off her head.
>>34547564detach the head she is powerless with out her body. Then proceed to play kick ball with said head.
>>34547564Oh wait, we're surrounded by /fit/izens. Retreat back to the room to find ammo.
>>34547564Remove her head the old-fashioned way.Then, make her eat you out.
>>34547564fallback plan:tickle her armpits and then run away(oh, and try to find our anal princess sash)
>>34547564Did we forget to rack the slide?
>>34547739Looks like it.
>>34547564Pistol Butt to the side of the head, we dont need ammo to wreck some shit
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>34547644Sh-shit, it's true. This thread is chalk FULL of /fit/izens.>>34547644>>34547646>>34547730>>34548190What are we gonna do?!
>>34547644You retreat back to the room you woke up in. The man you tied up and nailed to the bed is writhing around and making alot of muffled noises.
>>34548852Search all the drawers and under the bed. Look out the window
>>34548852Check your magazine, is it full? Check your gun safety. Disassemble the gun to make sure no one fucked with it.
>>34548852>ungag /fit/izen WHO TOOK MY BULLETS
>>34548852Pistol Whip the captive he is making too much noise. Then Proceed to rifle through all his drawer and closets for anything useful.
>>34549028You first knock your captive's lights out with a pistol whip. Should keep him quiet for a good while.
>>34548874Then you searched the dressers in the room, including under the bed.END TABLE 1:ViagraBottled waterEgg vibratorEND TABLE 2:Complimentary panties (x3)LubricantA bag of cokeA pipeAn ounce of marijuanaDRESSER:Mens blouse (x5)Womens blouse (x5)Mens slacks (x5)Womens slacks (x5)Womens pin skirt (x2)Dragon dildo (x10)Egg onahole (x20)BED:Rubber ducky (x200)Bag of cocaine (x50)A book of satanic ritualsHentai Doujinshi (x30)Pamphlet about not doing drugs (x10)Tim and Eric DVDs (x5)
>>34549898Strip naked and open the book of satanic rituals.
>>34549972>>34549998This, use the egg vibrator too
>>34549972>>34549998>>34550010>Neckbeard Quest: A Tale of Wise Decisions
>>34550023We shall imbue ourselves with the power of Kalashnikov.
Do the impossible, be the invisible
Become Satan, load up on evil majjyks
>>34549972>>34549972>>34549998>>34550010If we need a sacrifice we have plenty of rubber duckies also what demon wouldn't want to make a deal with THE anal princess.Also I heard that demons like cocaine so there is that too
>>34550067>Satan mixes up clips and magazines>Kill him in a blind fury
>>34550023This is the funniest shit I have seen all day
You stripped naked, readying the egg vibrator, and open the book of Satanic Rituals.It's been vanadalized. There are doodles of goatse and gay fanfiction all over it. And it looks like on every page, too.
>>34550611I get the feeling if we read that outloud it will summon all together the wrong kind of demon. >get dressed in womens clothes and stea-acquire a weapon by taking out the cross bar in the closet to use as a stick to beat yorick with.
>>34550611Read the fanfics out loud.
>>34550611>Insert egg vibrator into vagina.
>>34550773We don't need another succubus in this game that is what the other save file is for.
>>34550611Snort some coke. It will make us invincible.
>>34550795A succubus would be using dragon dildos.
>>34550795Not a succubus. >>34550132 A satan.
>>34550795/k/ay's schtick is Wrath, not Lust.
We need a Greed
Fuel your rage into the crowbar>Crowbar, UPGRADE
Woops, misread crossbar as crowbar, brb fixing posts.Carry on.
>>34551103I thought it was moodswings between both of those, along with suicidal depression.
You know what fuck it i'm going to crowbar. I must live with my mistakes.>>34550664Why would there be a crowbar in a hotel room's closet? Oh well.You remind yourself to grab a clean copy of satanic rituals later. But for now, revenge.
>>34551122I was going to say Beardo, but he is more of an incarnation of ALL the sins.Even ones not invented yet.
>>34551136You fueled your rage into the crowbar, and.."AND I SNORTED THIS MUCH COCAINE OFF HIS DI-"
>>34551183Bash 'er fookin 'ead out of the window, screaming "HOOOOOOOOOOOMERUUUUUUUUUUUUN"
Use Satanic Ritual on Crowbar!>Crowbar: Become Demonically enhanced
>>34551208Alas, poor Yorick.
You may control both characters in this battle.It is /k/ay's turn."What the FUCK, woman!?"
>>34551276Uppercut Yorick to knock her head off the new body.
>>34551276>SPECIALSummon guns and white pigeons, start operating in slo-mo.
>>34551469>Go fucking nutsDO IT
>>34551486it is grayed out i am assuming it is a gun skill
>>34551486>>34551498It's an ammunition skill. But you can make an exception with your crowbar and risk losing that.
>>34551510Go fucking nuts
>>34551510>Copy PastaI suggest erotic Blotfly removal
>>34551530"- /k/ay, wait.""I SAID WAIT-"
Rolled 12, 45, 8, 8 = 73 (4d60)Accumulating damage + Yorick's defense bonus
Jump out of the window and beat the SHIT out of Yorick>Achieve Enraged/Furious Status
>>34551776Unfortunately, it's Yorick's turn.Due to Yorick's new body, she has 2x protection/defense.
>YorickScream with Banshee screams
>>34551817Do this with extensive obscenities
>>34551832Bobobo bo bobobo style
>>34551803Tell /k/ay about everything her body did last night.
>>34551817>>34551831>>34551997this, this, and this at the same time.
>>34552038I can second
>>34551832Back and forth?
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>34552038You whipped your hair and screamed at her about everything her body did last night in the most obscene way possible.Although it didn't paralyze her, it did accumulate damage.
It is now /k/ay's turn.Time to snooze, will check in for suggestions later.
>>34552133>>34552149>be /k/ay>dont enjoy getting slapped and having your dirty secrets aired out >Hit her with the crowbar
Rip her hair out
>>34552176>>34552221Both of these, but rip her hair out with the crowbar
Before I go to bed bump
>>34552235Dont forget to shout BLOOD AND THUNDER
>>34552998Proceed to dropkick her
>be Yorick>reason with her by means of FUCKING HER UP
>>34553127seconded with a side of a swift knee to the stomach
>Be Fitizen>Wonder what the hell is in these drinks>Proceed to enjoy fight
PAUSE, FILE SELECT
INITIATE: NEW GAME PROTOCOL
>>34552149Use Crowbar to remove head from Torso.
>>34552149Invent the game of golf by applying crowbar to head.
>>34552149Attack her joints! They're weak and articulated.
Rolled 2 (1d3)>>34552176>>34552998It looks like she's ready to dodge. Dice, guide my crowbar!LUCK CHANCE!1,2: SUCCESS3: FAILURE
>>34555039>Headon>Apply Crowbar directly to the forehead
>>34559038Gordon Freeman this bitch!
Rolled 5 (1d100)Success + BONUS HIT!Accumulating first hit's damage.
Rolled 30 (1d100)Accumulating secondary hit. Head isn't protected, thus can ignore armor bonus.
Your turn, Yorick.
>>34559330>NTo the death!
>>34559538pls noyorick best girl
>>34559536>>34559330Y>while yelling back that you are 'sorry'
>>34559538If it was /k/ay who might lose here I'd be cool with itbut worst girl is sadly winning
You are still Yorick. Now you're being chased out of your sweet ass /fit/izen party by an angry /k/ay.>I'M SORRY HOLY SHIT I SAID I'M SORRY
>>34559748Use your banshee call to summon loyal /fit/izens to delay her while you escape back to Charlotte and the gang.
>>34559748Run to the park.
>>34559748Escape the crowbar justiceFind someone to help you!
>>34559822That will take a while. How long was the train ride here?
>>34560194all we have to do is stay a train ahead of /k/ay
>>34559822>SOMEONE GET THIS CRAZY CUNT AWAY FROM ME!And so the /fit/izens from the party dogpile on her in order to delay her.
"LET ME GO YOU VAPID WHORES""I'M GOING TO CAVE THAT BITCH'S HEAD IN"
>>34559844You reach the nearest DOG PARK. It's not huge but it's not small.You are currently lost in /g/, it is 10:30 PM, 35c. You are low on energy, your artifical body will need some sustenance.You are far from home.
>>34560788I hesitate to ask what form of sustenance our body needs.
Obtain sustenance from demon animals
>>34560788Eat plants. Make a disguise out of plants.
>>34560788>switch to /k/ay
Eat electricity from nearest streetlight
Break parts of bark from trees, apply to self and become a treant
>>34560836The right kind of sustenance.
>>34560788if we have money find a payphone and call for help?