You stare down at the meatball, and you maybe its just the indigestion, but for a moment you feel its staring back at you- no... INTO you. You shudder involuntarily- it will not win. Just as you gird yourself to finish the last morsal of edible food on your plate, Pepperoni appears as if by magic. "Oh, you wanted some more?" With that she casually spoons out another pound of some new pasta.You are Commander Russells of the M26E1 Pershing Heavy Tank "Black Jack" and, as you look down at the glistening pile of perfectly al dente pasta and aromatic meat-sauce, you look across the table at Miho and whimper. She's already leaning back in her chair, a quiet groan escaping her. She hit the wall two servings ago- but you're an American and you're already used to overeating. You've also got a hundred pounds on her.But you're still breaking a sweat, your stomach is gurgling and protesting and now there is even more sitting on the plate in front of you.>We will press on. We will survive!>"No more! Please! No more!">ESCAPE.>Other.
PUT QUEST IN THE SUBJECT FIELD YOU FAGGOT
r r remember me?
>>34073802>>We will press on. We will survive!JUST A LITTLE MORE
>>34073868Yes I remember you, Mia honey; and how could I forget the nice, crazy Ludwig for introducing us?:)
>>34073954>(Russells) when Katyusha gets on Erika’s shoulders, immediately hoist the Miho.Hwat.
>>34073802>>We will press on. We will survive!GLORY TO AMERICA
>>34074060Let me rephrase then, why would Katyusha get on Erika's shoulders? She's Nonna's loli, not Erika's.
>>34073954>Semi-Off topic discussion starter, I want to hear you all’s thoughts on something: Mk VII Tetrarch vs. M 22 Locust.Tetrarch, because it's actually field-tested and battle-proven. Also 2pdr > 37mm.
>>34074123>Russels will never be the decadent capitalist filling in a Nonna/Katyusha sandvich
>>34073802>Press on.If we ask for no more, they'll only hear more. That's how Italians kill you, with the food of your choice. If we escape. Mio will never forgive us.
>>34073802>>We will press on. We will survive![Gloria Gaynor Intensifies]
>>34074123>rereads....GODFU$)*$#&)(*^$*O& IT! Fine, I'll delete the post, then repost the correct version.
>>34073802>We will press on. We will survive!correct Quest To Do List: 1. A. (Yukari) Recon enemy tank lineup and battle plan. 2. Meet with History club for strategizing, 3. Find out what mystery military man wants4. Meet with mystery military man5. Recruit Video Game Club, 6. Ask Kay if she’s willing to loan us the T28/95 for the rest of the tournament.7. At final confrontation with Shiho whisper "No matter how mad you get, I will still marry Miho." Shit eating grin optional, but encouraged.Optional/seek questers’ approval: Find Turbo Panther EngineFind Panther chassis for Turbo Panther(Rose) Gush over how cute Katyusha is at first meeting.(Russells) when Katyusha gets on Nonna’s shoulders, immediately hoist the Miho.(Yukari) confess true feelings to Russells and Miho(Russells, Miho) reach understanding with Yukari’s feelings(everyone) prom shenanigans.
>>34074206Additionally, I don't think Japan has a prom equivalent. Heh. More research would be needed, just did a brief Google search.
http://www.mediafire.com/download/kykk1ctzk5mq1aa/Encyclopedia+Of+German+Tanks+Of+WWII.pdf Also, reposting this.
>>34074313They have that summer dance thing.
>>34074313In that case, since Christmas in Japan is considered a romantic holiday for couples, how about shenanigans around 'best date ever, impressing significant other, wanting to take next step, etc? >not sex you pervs, Other step(s).Sports day and Culture day would be nice, but I'm just talking about romance + comedy, not just comedy with some romance.>>34074513Will look that up.>>34074441thanks again!
>>34073802>Other (Leave the payment for the food at the table.)>ESCAPE.Nope. Sorry guys. Just sticking around for dinner the entire time is the dullest thing to do.Time to go for "The Italian Job" with a tankjacked tankette.
>We will press on. We will survive!We will learn to agony
>>34074589that's fine, I'm just bringing this stuff up for discussion's sake. BJ has final say in what happens, I'm just the editor.
You feel a bead of sweat begin on the back of your neck. You begin to push away from the meal- to give up and admit defeat. But...NO! No, you didn't come here to admit defeat! You are American! Your country is known around the world eating unreasonable and, quite frankly, dangerous amounts of food. From eight pound burritos, to six-foot pizzas and entire bricks of grated cheese- these wannabe Italians don't know who they're messing with!You stab your pair of chopsticks into the stack of noodles and start twisting them around, creating a massive ball of spaghetti that you lift and begin to chew into it. You hear a gasp from the crowd that's gathered around you- whispers of amazement. "He's still going... How can he still be eating?"As you finish the last bite of spaghetti a hush goes over the crowd. You look around you, slowly at first. Miho's passed out. >STAND AND CLAIM YOUR VICTORY.>"More.">"I need to go to the bathroom.">Other.
>>34075752>>STAND AND CLAIM YOUR VICTORY.AH HA HA HA
>>34075752>>STAND AND CLAIM YOUR VICTORY.
>>34075752>STAND AND CLAIM YOUR VICTORY. "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"
>>34075831ThisAnd drop your fork loudly
>>34075752>>Other.>STAND AND CALMLY AWAKEN OUR GIRLFRIEND, THANK THEM FOR THE FOOD< AND GO SEE THE SIGHTSgracious in victory
>>34075752>>34075796>>34075804wait, does 'claiming victory' mean we rub it in that we out ate Miho, or that we bested the chef?
>>34075879It means we pull a shortsword and and decapitate everybody
>>34075943There can be only one.
>>34075831>>34075859these, but the victory is over the Anzio girls, right?
>>34075831"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? IS THIS NOW WHY YOU ARE HERE?"
>STAND AND CLAIM YOUR VICTORY.True Italian pasta for not-really-true Italians.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIMGmbbx37A#t=97
>>34075831>>34075859>>34076243These. So much win. And ham.
>>34075752>STAND AND CLAIM YOUR VICTORY.MANLY MAN
>>34075752>Other."Sonna a formato."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyAAe8QwoRQI saw what you did there, BJ.
>>34075879>'claiming victory' mean we rub it in that we ate out MihoFTFY
>>34075752>STAND AND CLAIM YOUR VICTORY "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? IS THIS NOW WHY YOU ARE HERE?"
>>34075752>STAND AND CLAIM YOUR VICTORY.I made it in time!
Is it time to start the ritual?
You climb to your feet, steadying yourself on the table momentarily until you find your legs. You gaze across the crowd. "Are you not entertained?" You throw your arms out and turn slowly. "IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE ALL HERE?" You toss the fork back onto the plate, where it clatters loudly over the silence.There is a murmur in the crowd, you affix them with a gaze of ferocity and they seem to shrink back. You take another step before a loud gurgling noise rumbles through your innards. You wince.No. NO!>KEEP IT DOWN.>I NEED A BATHROOM.>OUTSIDE! NOW!>Other.
>>34077523>>KEEP IT DOWN.BREATHE BOY, IN AND OUT, NICE AND SLOW, CONCENTRATE ON BREATHING!
>>340775231. Called it! >KEEP IT DOWN.wonder how much sauce Pepperoni used?
>>34077523>>KEEP IT DOWN.We ride a tank and live on an aircraft carrier, we can handle this
>>34077523>KEEP IT DOWN.Then evacuate the Miho.Also compliment the chef.
>>34077523>KEEP IT DOWN."Looks like my hunger for glory is not sated"Take your GF, walk out like a boss and run to the toilet, and dont forget to thank them
>>34077523>KEEP IT DOWN.We have faced worse than this! We are American! We 've faced the buffet, destroyed the 6 foot pizza and finished it off with deep fried kool aid.WE EAT GRANDPA'S CHILI!!You got nothing, little Italian.
Rolled 17Keep it down this ain't shit
>>34077523>KEEP IT DOWN.Cus' bulimia is bad.
>>34077786>>34077790Question is, does BJ want us to roll high, or low...
>>34077817I don't even know what he rolled- that could be a high roll (d20) or a low roll. (d100)
Rolled 16it was a 1d4
>>34077859...It was a d20. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.
>>34077859It says it's a d100 right there, which is conventionally roll-under
>>34077859d100. so... Guess you're going to tell us what the worst that can happen is, and how it happens.>>34077899>>34077904>>34077908guys, guys, guys... relax... we can use a fate point/re-roll/benny/whatever and try again.
>>34077935BJ didnt ask for roll yet,no?so it will not count
>>34077935I have never seen a percentile system where 17 and 16 weren't phenomenal results
>>34077935d100 systems are almost always roll under. Low rolls are good.I've never actually seen a system where a high roll on a d100 was a good thing outside of rolling on a chart.
Is Blackjack kill?Should I panic?
You take a long deep breath- then another one. And another and another- your stomach has taken everything you've thrown into it and now its in open rebellion! You can feel your stomach chruning and heaving within you. Another deep breath- you know you need to burp, but you aren't sure whether to trust that it'll remain just a burb."Miho." You state. "Let's go." You reach out and take her hand, helping her to her feet. You didn't know she was capable of waddling, but with the amount of food she'd put down you're amazed she's even mobile.As you walk past the astonished Pepperoni, Miho manages a smile. "It was very good! Thank you very much!" Pepperoni just stares as you, nodding her head silently.You smile as well, swallowing hard to keep everything in its place. "I enjoyed it! You can send the bill to Anzu." You smile in outward appreciation, but you know that when Anzu sees that bill you'll finally have the last laugh.>Escort Miho to someplace to rest.>Try not to puke. Puke hard.>Keep your head up and your food down.>Other.
>>34079058>Escort Miho to someplace to rest, someplace near a bathroom.
>>34079058>Escort Miho to someplace to rest.And now the romantic part of the vomiting...date...catastrophe.
>>34079114Maybe they can both puke. Now they can say they did something together!
>>34079096seconding this.>>34079131>>34079150I think Russell held Miho's hair the morning after she got drunk, so now she returns the favor?
>>34079058>Keep your head up and your food down.>Escort Miho to someplace to rest.We are both a gentleman and a guy who doesn't puke of his GF, look how respectable we are!
>>34079198We shall endure. Anzio will not defeat us with food. Anzio will not defeat us with tanks.
>>34079096+1, if only for the disaster preparedness shown.
>>34079058>Escort Miho to someplace to rest.Womance!
>>34079198>Implying they won't be supporting each other over the porcelain god together
>>34079473Either way, BONDING!
>>34079473That's the most adorable fail I've ever heard.
>>34079058BJ is ded, and soon I will join him.
As you wander out into street you try your best to blend in with the crowd. Unfortunately, you're a food-drunk American about two minutes away from purging fifteen pounds of spaghetti, stone-fired pizza and other semi-Italian recipes escorting an even more food-drunk Japanese girl.Whatever.You still just make the best of you situation- besides the drive to find somewhere and just be still while your stomach decides whether to behave. But there are a few good places you can head. For some peace and quiet...>Head to the park.>Find a bathroom.>Head for the edge of the ship.>Other.
>>34080445>Find a bathroom.just in case
>>34080445>>Head to the park.I'm sure we can find someplace quiet to hold hands throw up.
>>34080445>Head for the edge of the ship.It's traditional.
>>34080475>>34080478dang it, you all make good cases.
>>34080467seconding, we can hold each others hair hands there.
>>34080445>a bathroom that's in a park, located on the stern of the ship.
>>34080445>Other. Find a Roman style bath house.Consider it a post-bacchanalia clean up.
I came for the girls and tanks, instead I got food and vomiting.>>34080445>Head for the edge of the ship.
>>34080621>food and vomitingOnly in Japan
>>34080621well, you could always write your own girls and tanks...Oh wait.
>>34080582since there is little consensus, I'll go with the obligatory "everything' vote.'>>34080621well, the last hasn't happened yet
>>34080596Well, if they're that into the Italo-Roman architecture, there's got to be at least one vomitorium on the ship.
>>34080648>vomitoriumThere is a common misconception that ancient Romans designated spaces called vomitoria for the purpose of actual vomiting, as part of a binge and purge cycle. According to Cicero, Julius Caesar escaped an assassination attempt because he felt ill after dinner. Instead of going to the latrine, where his assassins were waiting, he went to his bedroom and avoided assassination. This may be the origin of the misconception. The term vomitorium does not appear until the 4th century AD, about 400 years after Caesar and Cicero.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vomitorium
>>34080682>>34080670that'sthejoke.jpgGiven how badly all the other school ships take the populist view of their chosen cultures to emulate...
>>34080697...let's not, and pretend it never came up.
>>34080709Pretend what never came up?
>>34081089BJ was kill.
As you wander about, trying to find some place- ANY place to rest and let your stomach rest. "Russells!" Miho says, stopping you by grabbing your shoulder. "Over there!" She points to small courtyard- there's a intricate fountain a grassy knoll and even a bench."Perfect!" You exclaim. As you both rush to get off your feet and rest your poor, abused digestive tracts something compells you to slow down as you enter the little copse. A bush rustles to your left."Psst! Russells!" You and Miho both look over at the rustling bush. "Yukari?" You say as she she crawls out of the foliage and removes an errant leaf from her hair. "Don't worry!" She says, giving a salute as you and Miho take a seat on the grass. "I haven't been found out!""Where did you get a Anzio uniform?" You ask, leaning back as far as you can while still maintaining eye contact with the fluffy spy."Not important!" She says, clapping her hands together and rubbing them. "I've got information!"
>>34081350NEXT TIME ON GUPQ: CHOICES!
NEXT TIME ON GIRLS UND PANZER QUEST!>Yukari reports!>Indigestion!>What else is Anzio hiding?!Girls und Panzer Quest will return Wednesday at 4-5PM PST!Follow me on Twitter for schedule updates and to find out when the thread goes live!https://twitter.com/BlackJackGuPQ
>>34081388>What else is Anzio hiding?!Yukari never did get far enough to the point of finding out about the Carro Armato P40.Suppose Anzio tries to make a world record pizza, how likely is it for them to re-purpose a tankette into its flame thrower version, then fill up the accompanying fuel tank with tomato sauce?
<- Hana the hairbun nurseHNNNNNNNNGGGGGG
>>34082185>Mako isn't wearing anything under that labcoat
>>34082399Goddamnit now I can't unsee that
>>34082470Why would you want to unsee it?