So far Japan has become three things for you: Schoolgirls, tanks and dowel-based food products. You name a food, any food, and some enterprising Japanese cook has probably figured out how to shishkabob it and sell it at a few hundred yen a pop. It might not be the classic whole-boar on a silver platter, but BBQ Pork sticks is a good enough analogue.You are Commander Russells of the M26E1 Pershing Heavy Tank "Black Jack" and, as chew another morsal of ever-so-slightly blackened pig off a sliver of bamboo, you lean back and admire just how familiar all this is- Like the tanking events back in the states hundreds of enthusiasts gathered around eating unhealthy food and checking out various venders and exhibits."Seems like it was years ago, huh?" Rose says, taking a seat next to you. "Nevada- What did we knock out that day?""Churchill." You say, nodding familiarly. "Y'know I thought Ami was trying to poach you for some military program." You say with a laugh, looking over a few tables towards Ami Chouno, the woman who had initially recruited your crew.>Gather crew.>Look around for people.>Keep talking with Rose.>Other.
>>33323575>Keep talking with Rose.
>>33323575>Look around for people.>Automotive Club. Did they get to personally meet with Hammond and show him the Porsche Tiger?It might've encouraged them to get the tank up and running faster, just to show it off.
You nip at your BBQ for a few more seconds before shreding a piece loose from the stick. "So, you regret it?" You ask, offhand. Rose had never been the most social person- not a lot of people could get through her aloof demeanor and frequent sarcasm and she'd gotten a reputation as an ice queen back in the States- but ironically she was the only person who really hadn't formed any close relationships in Oorai.She takes a few moments. "Not for a moment." She says finally.You're pretty sure she meant that- but still Oorai was a teenage boy's paradise. You got to fight in tanks and were were surrounded by pretty foreign girls. Hell, considering a good chunk of the crew- except Patrick of course- had found companionship had to weigh on her.On the other hand, even back home you can't actually remember her having a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend for that matter- not that it would matter, gunnery is gunnery.>"So what about guys?">"We need to find you a boyfriend.">Change the subject.>Other.
>>33324874>"So what about guys?"
>>33324874>>"So what about guys?"
>>33324874>Change the subjectAsk her how she felt during the match w/ Erika, being a part of history and all that. Hell, that or just shoot the shit with her, we never talk to her and she seems somewhat open to it now.
>>33324874>"So what about guys?"Or girls, if that's preferred.
>>33324874>Change the subject.>Other.Richard and Patrick probably did something that merits disapproval while Russells was being interviewed.
>>33324874>Change the subject. [her gunnery skills]So between today's long range hit, and Darjeeling's challenge, you're probably getting some kind of crazy rep. How long will it take for the Rose-worship websites start popping up?
Just leaving this here.
"Y'know, I gotta admire your fortitude then..." You say, stripping a piece of what you assume is chicken meat from another stick of food. "I mean, I found Miho- Richard's got Saori- hell even your brother..." "Oh." Rose says, rolling her eyes alost audibly. "So you're saying that I'm lonely?" She says, annoyed."No..." You say, holding up the chicken-stick defensively. "Nonono! Just..." You pause trying to think of a decent way to put it. "Gotta be hard being all alone out here."She glances over a few tables- Patrick is busy trying to lower noodles into his mouth from over his head. "Patrick seems to deal with it just fine.">"No offense, but he's got practice.">"It's nothing- you look like you're dealing.">Excuse yoursellf and go find the rest of your crew.>Other.
>>33326501>"No offense, but he's got practice."
>>33326501>Other"Yeah...well, he's *Patrick*."
>>33326501>Other.>"Do you have a fan club yet?"Because both lines looks like it'll dig Russells into a deeper hole, and I don't feel like abandoning Rose mid-conversation. So I'm going with dialogue swerve.
>>33326501"No offense, but he's got practice."Unless there's a reason you and Patrick aren't lonely.....Let the brain images begin!
>>33326624Ahahaha, we should ask this, I bet she does, Assam looked like she was falling in love after the gunnery match.
>>33326501>>"No offense, but he's got practice."
You both stare at Patrick for a second. "No offense, but he's got practice being single..." "Yeah." Rose says distantly- Patrick has elevated undatablity to an artform."Well, at least you've got a fanclub by now..." You say, relaxing a bit. "What with that shoot-off against St. Glorianna and- well, that thousand-yard plus shot today was televised." You say, taking a mouthful of coke as you pause. "Besides, I think you've got every gunner on our team trying to be like you...""Natural talent." She says shining her nails on her shirt casually. "They're welcome to try- it'll probably make them all better gunners." Some of the girls were better than others- besides Rose the two best shots were probably Saemonza and Hana, but even they weren't going to be pulling off shots at nearly a mile away- not that most of their guns would do anything more than chip paint at that distance. "But Commander, seriously? I'm fine. I'll be fine and if I'm ever not fine you'll never know about it...">Go make sure Patrick is staying out of trouble.>Find Richard and Saori. Interrupt them- they still deserve it.>Find Anzu.>Other.
>>33327684>well if youre ever not fine I would like to know about it, gotta help my friends and all that so if youre ever feeling down let me know. Meanwhile im going to go make sure Patrick isn't making an ass out of himself.>go check on patrick
>>33327684The way she's talking seems to me like she's hiding something, maybe, but that might just be the leftover shadowruns from EvaQuest. That said;>Go make sure Patrick is staying out of trouble.
>>33327684>Go make sure Patrick is staying out of trouble.Probably the most time-sensitive option here.
>>33327684>Other>I might be dense but I can still pick up things that's wrong with my crew.>At least I hope so.>Go make sure Patrick is staying out of trouble.
>>33327684>Go make sure Patrick is staying out of trouble.Damnit Patrick.
>>33327684>Go make sure Patrick is staying out of trouble.This line too >>33327852>I might be dense but I can still pick up things that's wrong with my crew.
>>33327684>>Find Anzu.IT BEGINS
Well, you're not entirely convinced that Rose isn't hiding some problems- but the girls a mystery wrapped in an enigma and if she's not willing to give you anything then, by God, you're not getting anything. So you excuse yourself to go look after Patrick."Patrick, did you forget how to noodle?" You say, as you scooch in next to him as he clumsily attempts to eat. "Why not eat off sticks like the rest of us?" You say, shaking your head."What? This stuff is good- never did get the hang of chopsticks, though." He admits. "So- another Big Cat in the bag, eh?" He comments. "Bigger than a Panther, this time!">"You're never gonna get a girlfriend eating like that!">"I think we're starting to make a name for ourselves here...">Other.
>>33328701>>"You're never gonna get a girlfriend eating like that!">>"I think we're starting to make a name for ourselves here..."With Pat acting like that, I wonder what kind of name it is...
>>33328701>>Other."Yep, another cat in the bag, alright. Tell you what, I will find you a chopsticks tutor. What do you say?"Set his lonely ass up with one of the freshmen girls.
>>33328701>"I think we're starting to make a name for ourselves here..."And I'm wondering how we can exploit that.
>>33328701>"I think we're starting to make a name for ourselves here..."And seriously, there's not a whole lot more annoying than a friend hassling you over being single.
>>33328753None of the freshmen deserve that.
>>33328701>"I think we're starting to make a name for ourselves here..."Konnichiwa, Bakagaijinsmasshu desu.
>>33328701>>"I think we're starting to make a name for ourselves here..."
>>33328939They all need a shitty boyfriend at some point. And we are willing to set them up with one.
"Y'know... I think we're finally making a name for ourselves out here..." You say, with a bit of a smile. "I mean- besides being a bunch of dumb foreigners with a tank.""Yep- now we're dumb foreigners with a tank making history!" He says cheerfully before attempting to get another mouthful of noodles. "Y'know..." He continues, mouth partially full. "I think I know why they're so skinny over here- nobody can eat right with these things!" With a final slurp he finishes the mouthful. "I think I should've gotten what you got..." He finally admits.You offer him a stick of chicken-pieces and he takes it happily. "I mean more than that... We're going to win this." You say, nodding as you grin- "Come hell or high water- today proved it.""It proved nothing, boy." A stern voice says from behind you- You look up at Patrick and he's stopped eating mid-chew. You turn around slowly in your seat and come face to face with Shiho Nishizumi.>Nope.jpg>Be courteous and professional.>Shove it in her face.>Other.
>>33329483>Be courteous and professional.Hell, Mrs. Nishizumi. What did you want to discuss? Are you hungry?
>>33329483>>Be courteous and professional.
>>33329483>Be courteous and professional.This is the last place I'd expect her to see, so there must be some greater purpose for her being here.
>>33329483>Other."It's proved that a commander on your team couldn't win on equal terms without her team to back her up."
>>33329483>>Other.>So what do you want. Honestly don't feel like playing nice. Lets just cut to the chase of this.
>>33329483>>Be courteous and professional.Bitch please.
>>33329613Soon, my friend. Soon. Our patience with this woman will only last so long.
>>33329483Well, this just started playing in my head http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYJ6chM7wlM>Be courteous and professional.
>>33329638Like now? Really. We're here to eat food with our crew and general have fun after win. Now, here she is, going to be the buzz kill of it. Nah. Done.
>>33329483>>Be courteous and professional.Be a good commander.
>>33329483>Shove it in her face.Getting real tired of her shit, and its about time she realized she isn't gods gift to tanking.
>>33329664We aren't a good commander.
>>33329690It's not necessary here: just smile and be courteous, while imagining her fuming. Her pride just took an internationally broadcast blow, there's nothing we can do in person right now that will hurt her even one tenth as much.Just listen to her, smile, and imagine her raging.
>>33329690We're good enough to fuck her daughter.
>>33329767The shittiest gangbanger could fuck her daughter. Having a dick doesn't make us a good commander.
>>33329690We have our moments. This should be one of them. It'll be slightly easier to carve out a tiny sliver of grudging respect if we don't give her any more ammo, and further inflaming relations between Miho and her family WILL bite us in the ass in the long run.
>>33329798>The Joke-------------->Your head
>>33330093Jokes generally have to be funny to be considered a joke.
You guys really think Shiho is a saturday morning cartoon villain?"Curse that MC and his meddling crew! My evil plan was foiled! Next time I'll definetely destroy sensha-do!"No. She's not secretly fuming and raging inside. Just as she acts coldly when things go her way, she's still every bit as cold and efficient when they do not.
You would love to gloat- take Shiho's proxy defeat and rub her face in it while highlighting that you're also dating her daughter. However, okay commander you may be, you still have your rare moments. "Mrs. Nishizumi." YOu say politely as your turn and stand, giving her a polite bow. Your lanky Irish radioman finishes chewing his food as he does the same. "Your Commander fought well today." You say, watching her eye subtly twitch. "I look forward to facing your team in the finals."You could get used to this whole "passive aggressive" thing the Japanese are so keen on- nothing like taking a dump on someone in such a way that they can't properly respond without looking rude- especially in public. Especially when they've got a public image to uphold.Shiho's eye twitches again. Maho, Miho's older sister steps in. "You fought well today, Commander Russells." She congratulates- you're a bit disappointed, actually. "You're a credit to your team and country." You know what? That actually sounded sincere.
>>33330144NEXT TIME ON BLACKJACK Z!
>>33330144NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z
>>33330159>>33330160THIS!Give or take 10-15 more threads...
NEXT TIME ON GIRLS UND PANZER QUEST...>She mad, bro.>Y u mad, tho?>U mad 'cause we stylin on u.Girls und Panzer Quest will return Saturday at 5-6PM PST!Follow me on Twitter for schedule updates and to find out when the thread goes live!https://twitter.com/BlackJackGuPQ
>>33330112Is.. is there some cultural context here you're not seeing? I'm not sure how that could be construed as *not* at lest slightly amusing.
>>33330250Probably. I don't see bodily functions as funny.
>>33330282Bodily functions? It's a joke about Shiho's judgement.I have probably used the wrong context of wording. English is not my best language.
>>33330313Neither is it mine which most likely adds to the confusion.Let's just agree with the German stereotype and say that I don't get jokes.
>>33330344I can agree with this.
>A pair of non-native speakers trying to make/understand a joke in english about a japanese rendition of a wehraboo japanese lady as portrayed by an american writer.God bless the internet
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