Why hasn't your character married seven different kinds of space-elf and space-animal ear princess /tg?
I stopped playing D&D
>>32651371Really? 'Cause if your D&D games featured this sort of shit they were probably pretty decent
>>32651349>Why hasn't your characterBecause Takraf F60.
>>32651437I don't, I don't understand
Space Cleopatra is best girl
>>32651349Because he is happily married to the Amazonian queen of Mars
>>32651349My character has not gone to space yet. Also, is a straight woman, so princes would be preferred over princesses.
>>32651349Because my character is a viking reaver... (yes, I know that's tautology)Elves are killed, and my Drakkar can fly yes, but not break orbit.
>>32651514Actually the off-panel catgirl is. Cleopatra will murder the shit out of you if you're not space Caesar.
>>32651564Dejah Toris was no Amazon, she was typical screamy girl in need of saving. In the first book, anyway.
>>32651590>my Drakkar can fly yes, but not break orbit.Be the change you want to see in the world>>32651576>My character has not gone to space yet.>yetThe right attitude.
>>32651600She did shout a lot and fuck at least one guy up IIRC. But yeah those books are sexist as hell.
>>32651600No my character is married to the Amazonian Queen of Mars. I'm not referencing this universe. In game it's actually mars VIII. Because humans found so many planets they ran out of names so they just reverted to rehashing old ones.
>>32651624If you have more, post them. I have basically no pictures of male space royalty.
>>32651611Sadly, in my DM's setting probably the only equivalent to space is another dimension populated by horrifying mechanical angels, so going to space might not be the best event in my character's life.
>>32651611You say that as if I could organize a viking NASA. Motherfuckers can barely organize a shield wall without "pillaging" the guy next to them.Mst3k did a fucking great episode on your pic related though.
>>32651349Animal ears are old.Animal lower bodies are where it's at.
>>32651638Who cares about your character, let's talk John Carter of Mars. Way more interesting.>>32651623Product of the times anon. It wasn't so bad, mostly because there barely were any female characters other than background harems, so there wasn't much they were saying to make you face palm anyway.
>>32651651>You say that as if I could organize a viking NASA.Yes. I mean, think of the plunder potential>every summer, young Viking warriors board their longrockets to pillage and steal the riches of alien empires
>>32651670>Product of the times anon. It wasn't so bad, mostly because there barely were any female characters other than background harems, so there wasn't much they were saying to make you face palm anyway.I'm not saying it was anything other than a product of times, but a solid few of those novels revolve around rescuing the incapable future bride.
>>32651653Setouchi pls go.
>>32651680>Yes.>I mean, think of the plunder potentialYou know what? I fokken love summer on /tg/.True: more shit.But in addition to that people actually move their asses and start to think, create, impress.
>>32651680>first viking space launch>Thor 1>suffocate because of course we designed our long rockets like longships>Thor 2, burns up on launch because we insisted on using the greatest pine trees for our glorious ship>Thor 3, lands on moon, nothing to pillage>Thor 4, ICBM loaded with huskarls fired at wessex
>>32651710>ICBM loaded with huskarls fired at wessexThis is an incredible mental image.
>>32651704Or just hang out in space. You could be one of the Space Varangian of Space Byzantium, embroiled in the dynastic politics of a dozen alien lineages (see OP pic), wearing a bubble helmet with little horns on it.
>>32651716>Thor 10 is an imperator class warship launching drop pods on constatinople
>>32651692Look, all I'm saying is that when I rescue the snake princess of the snake planet, she'll probably have a snakebutt. And I'll appreciate that.
>>32651710> So here we are, on board of Heimdall XVII, just drinkin' singing, when out of fucking nowhere, space whale of enormous proportions crashes into our stairboard. Hovding Leif Ahab screams "attack" ans so we do, we launch everything we have into monster's maw - javelins, grenades, rockets, a-bombs and nothing, fucking nothing...
>>32651747>grenades, rockets, a-bombsFuck your shit, we don't need none of your fancy pants explosives. All we have is a giant axe mounted on the prow and Huskarl ICBMs.
>>32651731> Skyrsgyrd blavhrin! It's "LOKI" under the command of Jarl Brognard Havgrdson!
>>32651761> No Husqvarna chainaxes mounted everywhere.Magnus pls.
>>32651765>Man the harpoons! The Thor shall sell itself dearly!>Launch the Huskarls!
>>32651761>Fire giant Huskarl ICBMs.FTFY
>>32651785What are you, some sort of Jotun? I didn't know inferior Jotunheim had a space program, thought you backward niggers were too busy not finding Asgard.
Because an Imperial general doesn't marry his harem, he merely collects them. Cathar, Twi'lek, Zeltron. Marrying them would go against high human culture, faggot
>>32651782> Hendersson! I want you, Leifsson and Haraldsson to operate those Jormungandr Launchers. FOR ODIN!
>>32651799>Jotunheim cannot into space
>>32651817>It's a svartfalar mining vessel of to the west! All man to the plasma oars! Row like your lives depend on it! Set full sails!>Godi, launch a prayer to Njord>Well Thegn of axes, let's hope these svartfalar will come to our aid
>>32651860>launch a prayerOh god, yes.>the prayer engine canna take it, captain!
>>32651860WE'RE SONS OF ODIN! OUR FATE HAS BEEN SEALED LONG BEFORE OUR BIRTH! NO HELP WE COUNT ON, NO HELP WE AWAIT, BECAUSE WE'RE WITH OUR GODS AND THEY ARE WITH US!> Somebody get me my fucking chain Axe, I'll fucking go full Tyr on that fucking spawn of Jormungandr!
>>32651680>this needs to be the next /tg/ big project
>>32651894Get back to your post assault commander! We're talking to the svartfalar, not pillaging them and that's final!
>>32651942B-but Hovding!Plundering: good!
>>32651952Yes but... hold on, is that Loki ship still chasing us? Let's cast the bones, see what the gods have to say. Somebody get the Godi and make them stop praying to Njord. I think we're safe from Space Kraken for now.
Because my character is a sad sack of insecurities and depression surrounded by lesbians.But on the other hand, he's pretty much one of the best spess ship pilots in the galaxy.
>>32652061Can we pillage him? Can he pilot a Drakkar? How many space serpents has he slain?
>>32652061>Because my character is a sad sack of insecurities and depression surrounded by lesbians.Why are you playing me?
>>32652079>How many space serpents has he slain?This sentence has to appear in stuff more often.
>>32652079He's got some shitty cyborg parts, but they're not worth much. Probably. None, since he doesn't control the guns.
>>32652204Well thane, how many have you slain? Or can you not into glorious Ulsfarkr master race?
>>326522393. No, 7. No, wait, 11. Have I talked to you before? How many did I say last time?I'm space Beowulf. I fuck space Finns.
>>32652477>I fuck space Finns.
>>32652477>We are Beowulf's Cosmonauts, each a mighty Thane, we'll pummel your boarding craft, and ravage your lasses, then do it all over again!
>>32652235>Not ramming the space serpents
>>32652580>not crashing through the canopy to wrestle the space snake with your Seax>FUUUUCK YOOOUUU INERTIA!
>Alien opinion of humanity: average and insignificant.>Alien opinion of space vikings: WTFARRRRGH
>>32652564>>32652477>They stretched their beloved captain in his rocket,>laid out by the bridge, amidships,>the great serpent-slayer Far-fetched treasures>were piled upon him, and precious gear.>I never heard before of a ship so well furbished>with battle tackle, laser weapons>and armored space suits. The massed treasure>was loaded on top of him: it would travel far>on out into the cosmos' sway.
>>32652600>pillage their crystal spires lads! >Jarl! We can't find the vaginas on these things, how do we rape and pillage now!?>The Godi can't even come up with a working poison to poison the wells!
>>32652600>Are these guys even the same species?!
>>32652609Now do the battle with the Dragon.
>>32652600>the species of humanity has two sexes: 'human' and viking. The viking is the more aggressive sex, and travels across space collecting plunder so that it may display it and attract a mate.
>>32651349Because he's too busy murdering the shit out of things and hallucinating war.
>>32653024>>32653003>>32652985>>32652718No one cares. Get back to the space Vikings. Where has everyone gone who had that good stuff?
>>32652617>We can't find the vaginas on these things, how do we rape and pillage now!?They have mouths! Hel, if the worst comes to the worst, we can cut them open and rape the wounds!
>>32653097Strip the flesh! Lube the wound with whale blubber!
>>32653121>space whale blubberFTFY
>>32653053I care, these were hilarious.
>>32653179Yeah, that's some Kingdom of Loathing stuff there... but space vikings are still more awesome. >By Odin, my cock rages for space elf kvinul! Find me some, or I can't control what it pierces!
>>32653179Well that marks you out for PILLAGING AND RAPING then doesn't it?Get on your spacesuit, we'll duel outside.>captcha: swords hetpromNo captcha, not swords, Axe..
>>32653283But I'm not going to hold a Thegn just for this bastard...And we'd have to travel to the nearest branch of Yggdrasil to start with...
I really like medieval analogues in space, it is a big thing I like.Space vikings being buried in their ancient longrockets and launched into the heart of a star are my jam.What is the planet of the space vikings like?
>>32653557Midgard. You know, where you live.Mercury is Asaheim.Mars is Jotunheim.Venus is wherever those faggy elves and balck dwarves live.Jupiter is Jotunheim.Pluto or Uranus is Nispelheim.Any more?
>>32653579Warp portals are the branches of Yggdrasil.Asgard is located in a webway analogue.
>>32653602Fire and Ice giants. But uh... yeah, ups.Well, replace that with another I guess.
>>32653634Isn't there a place between the realms of fire giants and ice giants that's made of permanent steam because of them touching?
Bump for space Frost giants of Rhym.>b-but Jotunheim cannot into space
>>32653579I would have Venus as Mospelheim,
>Why hasn't your character married seven different kinds of space-elf?Because there are only six different kinds of space-elf in 40k.
>>32658470?? Name all six.
>>32655310Ginnungagap is a funny word.
>>32653579Venus would be Muspelheim.
>>32658583>>32658160But isn't Muspelheim a part of Jotunheim?Or are the Jotun just the ice giants?
>>32651349>Why hasn't your character married seven different kinds of space-elf and space-animal ear princess /tg?Last I checked, the only elves in Glorantha are made of wood.
>>32658629No, hold on, originally they were just giants. Fire Giants and normal giants, the normal giants just lived in a cold realm.I'm not sure who's to blame for this, but if I can blame Marvel, I don't see why I shouldn't blame Marvel. Fuck you Marvel.
>>32658629Jotun really just means giant, but the generic giant is a frost giant.Which mostly hail from Jotunheim.The fire-giants are the "Sons of Muspell" which is the fiery cataclysm that destroys the world during Ragnarok, and THEY come from Muspelheim, which basically I guess means that it translates to the home of the end of the world.
>>32659064Yes, I know.But is Muspelheim one of the seven realms of the world, or is it part of Jotunheim?Lemme see which ones I remember:AsgardVanaheimMidgardNiefelheimJotunheim.There's the one of the Svartfalar...So I'm missing two names there at least.
>>32659118Muspelheim is its own world, and it's Svartalfheim and Alfheim.And aren't there nine realms?
>>32651514I'm partial to the space drow twins
>>32659607Could be. If there are, we're still missing one.
>>32651746Hey man, I love snake butt as much as the next guy, but that doesn't mean you should shit on the classics. Catgirls are always appreciated.
>>32659723I said they were old, man. Not that they're awful or anything, just that they're no longer the new hotness on the block.
>>32651349He's with this cute little speedster that usually accompanies him on patrols while he snipes and handles electronic warfare.Bioships don't much care for space elves.
No aliens in Battletech.
>>32658512EldarDark EldarCorsairThose weird shadow dark EldarThe Amish dinoriders whose name I can't believe I forgotThe chaos corrupted Eldar on crone worldsNot that other anon, though, so u can only guess at what he meant
>>32659980So Eldar, DEldar, Chaos Crone Eldar, Corsairs and Hobo Eldar.That's just 5. All of which are still 2 kinds of Eldar, really. Except one can argue them Chaos Eldar.What makes an elf different from another anyhow? Is it just culture, or is there genetic differences like in humans?
>>32659769True. They also blend well with damn near anything. Just imagine: a Snakebutt Space Pharoah Queen surrounded by equally Egyptian themed catgirl attendants.
>>32660044Sure, it works.
>>32660017You forgot the shadowy ones, who are literally made up of shadows and kill you dead from your own shadow or something.
>>32660017>All of which are still 2 kinds of Eldar, reallyThree, since exodites operate a little differently.Four if you want to include chaos eldar.The sixth one would be harlequins, I'm guessing.
>>32660087Mandrakes are just DEldar, don't be a fag.
>>32660115I suppose. They just struck me as significantly different enough to be worth mentioning. Like I said, I was trying to figure out the other guy's logic
>>32659118Nifhel AKA Hel or Hel's Domain, the land of the dead is a distinct Sub-Realm within Nifelheim
>>32660332Niefelheim was already on the list, actually, so that doesn't sort it yet. So far we have:AsgardVanaheimMidgardJotunheimMuspelheimSvartfalheimAlfheimNiefelheim
>>32660427What I was saying is that Hel's Domain is a realm too even though it's located inside of Nifelheim.
>>32660607But Alfheim is the underworld and Niefelheim is Hel's domain.We're still missing a realm, and you seem drunk. Way to worship Thor!
>>32660635No, Nifelheim is the land of Ice and Frost, and Alfheim is the place where Light Elves come from ALF-HEIM(Elf-Home) the land of the dead is Hel, named for its ruler the Goddess of Death Hel.
>>32660736All of the realms end in -heim.There's no such thing as Helheim.Hel's just the goddess.
>>32659064>the fiery cataclysm that destroys the world during RagnarokWasn't Muspell around before the world came around, due to being a fuckhuge demon or somesuch?
>>32661029You're thinking of Surtr, and... maybe? It's not really clear.Muspell just means fire giant.
>>32658512Craftworld Eldar Dark Eldar Eldar Exodites Eldar HarlequinsEldar CorsairsChaos Eldar
>>32660017>>Why hasn't your character married seven different kinds of space-elf?Because there are only five different kinds of space-elf in Spelljammer.
>>32662523That illustration is wrong. Muspelheim and Jotunheim border each other to create a massive cloud of eternal magic mist.
>>32651349Why does Ms. Green Bikini have grill lines?
>>32662905Those are stripes. She's a big cat
>>32662523Just who were the Vanirs anyway?
>>32664237Demigods, basically. Some of them became gods, though don't press me on which ones exactly.I think possibly Freya and Bragi though? And some others.They had a war with the Aesir and became like an allied clan.
>>32664277So they were kind of like the Titans in Greek Mythology, except Asgard isn't nearly as dickish as Olympus.But then again, what is?
>>32664423They were less powerful than the Aesir, but were capable of challenging all the same.Not quite like Titans. More like heroes if they came as a race rather then as a result of messed up sexual problems.
>>32664237They were the old-guard Pantheon that were forced out when the Æsir rose to power, of course some of them hung around, Freyr and Freya were both Vanir and they're two of the most important Norse gods.
>>32664880I think the Æsir let them stay in Asgard on account of both of them being SUPER hot.
>>32665001>>32664880>>32664553>>32664423There was a Norse god of Skiing.Enjoy anons.
Because she herself is a space elf and wishes to marry a nice Human Major in the Terran military.
>>32651600Not so much. She was in the last fight scene, IIRC. Of course, she was somewhat limited in that she wasn't John Carter, who's like Ares in mortal form, or Tars Tarkas, who literally kills six dudes in one sword swing in the first book. But she's shown to know what she's doing with a pistol and sword.
>>32665704>fight sceneWhat do you think that John Carter was a movie? Or that that movie had much of anything to do with the actual John Carter?You plebeianest of plebs.
>>32652704>humanity is capable of homosexual reproduction
>>32668780We are. You can artifically inseminate egg with DNA extracted from another woman's cell without need for a sperm.It's just shuned as "unethical".
>>32668850You show me a study that proves that.
>>32668850>>32668860OH WOW.I was talking about how aliens can't tell humans apart>the species of humanity has two sexes: 'human' and viking. The viking is the more aggressive sex, and travels across space collecting plunder so that it may display it and attract a mate.
>>32668860Well, officially published were only similar tests on sheep. Check references on the wiki page. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_%28sheep%29No country's gonna admit doing it with people, they'd get much bad rep, but I'm sure it can be done.
>>32668940Interesting, but wasn't Dolly the sheep an infamous example of why cloning was usntable and dangerous? And one of the reasons it's considered unethical now?I love this thread by the way. Discussing space vikings and the realms of viking mythology to modern cloning.
>underpeople>royaltyNot possible>Animal lower bodies are where it's atpic related
>>32651611Ah, the Chicken Men of Krankor...
>>32671132HAH HAH HAHhhh
>>32651349Because he's a complete sperg and handles speaking as well as most people handle getting stabbed.