You have spotted the interviewer and you are not impressed. He's short- you're pretty sure you've got an inch or two on him- thirty-something and seems to be nervously staring up at Black Jack's turret and main gun. At least, you assume he's the interviewer- for a television interview he's dressed very casually in faded jeans and a ill-fitted button-up shirt.You are Commander Russells of the M26E1 Pershing Heavy Tank "Black Jack" and you're perfectly content to stand back and observe him- you are not a fan of interviews, but Anzu hasn't given you much of a choice in the matter."You should go introduce yourself." Yukari says, leaning against the Panzer IV beside you. "Can't put it off forever.">"I can try, though.">"He looks familiar.">Stay back- look around and choose your moment.>Other.
>>32026044>>"He looks familiar."LEWD WRITE-IN IS LEWD
>>32026044>"He looks familiar. does he do something tank related?"Get the Top Gear reference out in the open, hiding it does nothing.
>"He looks familiar."
>>32026044>"He looks familiar."
>>32026044>"He looks familiar."Let's get this show on the road.
>>32026044>"He looks familiar."Girls und Panzer Quest is on, history essay is finished, Katyusha and Nonna are serenading me with the song of the People in love and war... ITS FRIDAY NIGHT, BABY!
>>32026273>ITS FRIDAY NIGHT, BABY!And I got my long island at the bar, let's do this!
>>32026044>>"I can try, though.">>"He looks familiar."
>>32026044> "He looks familiar."What is this two threads in a week? Awesome.
You stare across the hanger at the BBC interviewer. "He looks familiar." You state, squinting at him. You look over at Yukari who shrugs. You search your mind for where you've seen him before, but it comes up empty. "Think he's famous?""Oh, he's famous alright." Nakajima says. You crane your head upward to see her laying backwards on the Pz.IV's engine deck, head crane back to look at you. "Richard Hammond- he's one of the presenters for Top Gear."You look back to Yukari and she shrugs before looking up at Nakajima, who's turned herself over into a more comfortable position. "What?""It's a show about cars." Nakajima says, eyeing Richard. "BBC? We watch it all the time- it's great. They do all sorts of silly stuff and occasionally do things that have nothing to do with cars." She shrugs. "I'm assuming this is one of those things.">We should go introduce ourselves then.>Hang back- delay and maybe he'll go away.>Other.
>>32027072>We should go introduce ourselves then. Auto club girls ok him, so he should be fine. and here's where we find how he' done tank stuff before.
>>32027072>We should go introduce ourselves then.
>>32027072>>We should go introduce ourselves then.Here we go...
>>32027072>We should go introduce ourselves then.where is the stig?
>>32027148If the BBC does a episode around the Super Pershing-King Tiger match, he'll show up. For now, I think this is the extent of the cameo.
>>32027148Surely you mean the Stig's Japanese cousin?
>>32027197I have no idea how you got that image but it is awesome! >>32027216seconded>>32027229we get a driver who's a rule 63 Stig? BJ's Unlikely to dive into OCs given we still have VG Girls to recruit, but after that and we get more tanks, Hell Yeah!
>>32027283how do we know Stig isn't a girl? or a robot?
>>32027283>I have no idea how you got that image but it is awesome! It's called photoshop.
>>32027283Pretty sure it's been posted in a thread before but it's been awhile.
>>32027338It could be anyone, that's the Fun! and it really could be if, down the line, we decide to dial up the anime zany factor.>>32027360so you made it? You're still awesome!
>>32027427>that feeling when you realize you will never get to race tanks with Miho and co. in a T-50.
>>32027436no, lol. I didn't..In other news, since we have a real brit, have some fake ones!
>>32026273Fuck Yeah! Two quests in one day! This is the best day ever!>>32026630I beg of you sir, drink one for me!>>32027197This is the only way that GuP could be better
>>32027641Everyone Celebrate! Eat, Drink, and be Merry! For I feel the Moe overtaking me, and it is... KYYAAAA!
>>32027072>>We should go introduce ourselves then.The sooner its over, the sooner we can prepare to disappoint Miho with our attempt at Japanese food.
"Well, if he's a celebrity..." You say, pushing yourself off from the Pz.IV. You spare a last glance at Nakajima. "He better be friendly." You approach confidently, but he doesn't turn to face you until you announce yourself. "Eyeing my tank?" You say, trying to sound friendly.Your speech seems to jostle him from his thoughts. "Oh. Hello!" He turns around and immediately sticks out his hand with a smile. "I never get used to how big they are! You are Russells, I take it?""I am. You're Richard? From the BBC?" You say as you shake his hand. "Yes! It's great to meet you!">"You got here fast...">"Ever dealt with tanks before?">Other.
>>32028046I get the feeling that the whole luau will turn out to be The Perfect Gift, but with food... and possibly projectile vomit.
>>32028096>>"You got here fast...">>"Ever dealt with tanks before?"
>>32028096>"Ever dealt with tanks before?"cut straight to the issue, and the reference, at hand.
>>32028096>"You got here fast..."
>>32028126This.why not both
>>32028096>>"You got here fast...">>32028103I question your definition of Perfect.
>>32028282>Reference>your headThe Perfect Gift is a story where a couple try to buy the perfect gift for each other at Christmas, but since they are short on money, they each buy the gift by giving something up... the very thing the other person was thinking of when they found 'the one', a chain for a watch that was pawned, a ribbon for hair sold at a wig shop, you get the idea. Now apply that logic to Miho and Russell trying to cook something for the other, add one or both of them getting sick, again, for comedy, and you have my prediction in a nutshell.
>>32028388Ah! I know that as The Magi's Gift!I feel like I learned something.
>>32028529That's understandable, Stories and fables change names and details as they change cultures and audiences. the one I described I first watched as a Animated Christmas special, and was set in Modern (early 2000's) New York. Learning is a lifetime thing and it can surprise you. Glad to hear it, and no hard feelings?
>>32028648Of course no hard feelings. I learned it in elementary school. The only time I used it after that was at my friend's wedding. Priest was doing his thing, making his points about marriage and asked "Do you know the story of The Magi's Gift". Everyone looks around, nobody, nobody, I slowly raise my hand 'cause' apparently, I'm the only one who does. Everyone gets a laugh out of this. I'm trying not to choke to death as my friend gives me the look of "must not facepalm in a wedding dress".
>>32028388Oh god, that's the story that CatDog parodied.
"You got here quick..." You say, turning to lean back against Black Jack's glacis."Well, we were in Japan filming- Suzuki's got a new..." He sees your look of confusion. "Oh. Sorry, not a petrolhead?" He scratches the back of his head, a bit embarassed. "Well, we were doing a film anyway and then James found out about your duel with the King Tiger." He smiles and looks up at the turret. "Wouldn't shut up about how history was going to be rewritten and, well, here I am. Even Jezza got in on it- anything to stick it to the Krauts with him..."You nod. He seems like a friendly enough guy. "You ever worked with tanks before?""Once- nothing like this though." He says.>"James? Jezza? What?">"I believe I owe you an interview?">Other.
>>32028826I am both face-palming and doing a bad job of not laughing at that story. The story is an excellent example of a loving husband and wife, though, smart Priest.
>>32028952>other: "Oh, What kind of tank was it?">"I believe I owe you an interview?"
>>32028952>"I believe I owe you an interview?"LET'S MOVE TO TOPICS RUSSLES UNDERSTANDS THOUROUGHLY
>>32028952>"James? Jezza? What?"
>>32028952>>"James? Jezza? What?">>"I believe I owe you an interview?"POR QUE NO LOS DOS
>>32028952>"What sort of tanks did you work with?"
>>32028952>Other: "Oh, What kind of tank was it?">"I believe I owe you an interview?"
>>32029004>>32029038>>32029035These guys have it. Seconding
>>32029067Seconding this second.Does that count as 4 votes?
>>32029067I ALSO SECOND THIS MOTION
>>32029133I think BJ 1. looks for the greentext option that appears the most. 2. sometimes looks for the one that has the most linked, direct, supportive responses.
>>32029198Damn. I was hoping seconding a seconding would result in multiplying them together.
>>32029004>>32029035>>32029038Yeah, what >>32029067 said.>>32029264I'm pretty sure BJ just adds it... if he sees it.
>>32028952>>"James? Jezza? What?">>"I believe I owe you an interview?"BOOOOTTTTHHH
>>32029067>>32030030SELECT ALL THE OPTIONS!
>>32030030>watching on netflix>at season 8>Jezza?
"What sort of tanks did you work with?" You ask, actually a bit interested now. The guy's got some history, that much you're pretty sure of. Maybe not with tanks but definately with automotive stuff- probably enough to do well with tanks."Oh, it was a show I did a while back- I had to learn how to operate an M1A1..." He says. "It was a lot of fun until I had to crush a Mustang." He looks down and you swear you almost see a tear in his eye. "And then there was that self-propelled gun..."Alright, so he's got some tank chops. You nod with approval internally. "So, I believe you're owed an interview?" You say, standing up. "How do you want to do this?""Well, we're going to be shooting a film, really. Interview's part of it, but we'll need some action shots and b-footage of the tank itself." He shrugs. "This is all sort of last minute- we don't really have a schedule or anything- I can get the crew on board for either...">Interview first.>Let's go crush and/or shoot some stuff.>Other.
>>32030089The Clarkson. All three of the presenters carry a nickname.Jeremy "Jezza" Clarkson. Codified when, during their two-episode trip through central Africa, they travel through a Namibian town called Jezza; the other guys mercilessly mock Jeremy for being a third-world village.Richard "Hamster" Hammond: A fan nickname, due to his chipper nature and small stature in comparison to the other two, especially Jeremy, who's got nearly a foot on him.James "Captain Slow" May: He's slow. He never runs on camera and always buys the slowest car.
>>32030153>Let's go crush and/or shoot some stuff.Fun stuff first, relax a bit.
>>32030239>"You enjoyed working with the Sherman, well you'll love working with BlackJack."Abrams, not Sherman.
>>32030153It was a Porsche 928, BJ. Just so ya know.
>>32030253I never got BBC America on my cable, ok?>>32030292its 1:30 in the morning and you want me to Think?I'll delete and change my post.
>>32030153>Let's go crush and/or shoot some stuff. "You've been in an Abrams? Then You'll love working with BlackJack. its a real Blast." *cut to cannon fire montage*
>>32030298It was also a Mustang.
>>32030339>I never got BBC America on my cable, ok?Up through Season 20 are on Netflix now.
>>32030388They made him crush a mustang too?
>>32030470Did not have netflix until two months ago, and its at my parents two states away. Most I've actually seen is clips on Youtube.
>>32030298>>3203038884. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things.
>>32030507>Posting on the internet>Hurr I no have netflix
>>32030538their credit card, their subscription, their netflix. that is all.
>>32030599So in other words, "you" did not have netflix, you were using someone else's.
>>32030627yeah... my parents... I said that... I was not aware Netflix was a 'have or have not' situation. I have access to someone else's, my parents again, when I'm not at college. Why is this such an issue?
>>32030153>>Let's go crush and/or shoot some stuff.
You take a deep breath and sigh. "Well, you're going to need a helmet." You say. "Let me get my crew together and we'll crush some stuff." You smile and give him a pat on the back. "Maybe Rose'll let you fire a few shells from the T54 while we're out there.""T54?" He repeats, looking a bit confused. "Who's Rose?" But by then you're off to gather your crew- Anzu wants an interview? She's gonna get one. A half an hour later Black Jack is rolling out of the hanger- a cameraman stands in front of Richard, who's saying something you can't make out over the sound of the 8 cylinder ford engine. Richard- your driver, that is- brings Black to a stop behind Richard- er, the Top Gear guy.That's going to get annoying. After he turns and looks up at the tank, the cameraman gives an okay and the producer yells cut. Richard wastes no time clammering up the front of the tank.>"So, you know how to drive a clutch?">"Why don't you ride along behind the turret- we'll get out to the range and fire off a few.>Other.
>>32030908>"Why don't you ride along behind the turret- we'll get out to the range and fire off a few.
>>32030908>"So, you know how to drive a clutch?">"Why don't you ride along behind the turret once we get out to the range-we'll fire off a few rounds."
>>32030908>"Why don't you ride along behind the turret- we'll get out to the range and fire off a few.We at least understand enough to know not to ask a car guy if he can drive stick.
>>32030908>"So, you know how to drive a clutch?"
>>32030908>OtherWant to drive?
>>32031098he'll drive on the crusher. $5 says the Principle's car gets crushed... again.
Waking up at quarter to four in the afternoon is not pleasant. Also my computer is shit and dying, so no SaS later unless I can get it working for a bit.On the plus side, GuPQ and a milkshake.
>>32031209YO MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE RENALEWDS TO THE YARD
>>32031209good to have you here either way. computer problems when you have no backup is no fun.>>32031241ok, that is kinda funny.
>>32031241AND THEYRE LIKE "10/10 would fap again"
Oh hey it's magically working again
>>32031305YAY! PRAISE THE OMNISIAH! SaS TIME! *if you've got stuff*
Rolled 4>>32030908>"Why don't you ride along behind the turret- we'll get out to the range and fire off a few.our Richard is the only one allowed to drive BlackJack
>>32031461After watching that, I now see why people like auto-loaders. faster fire rate, longer endurance. I also see why people dislike auto-loaders. when they break or malfunction, its a real pain to have to work around. Thank you for posting.
>>32031461THEY TOLD ME IT WAS BEHIND A CAGE AND THAT THERE WAS NO POSSIBILITY OF GETTING CAUGHT IN IT
>>32031511A skilled loader is just as fast.And the ammo can be secured in a far safer compartment than an autoloader system can use.
>>32031541*respectful debate mode: engage*1. a human loader will not be as reliable* in their loading speed, and will eventually tire. *reliability as in a consistent loading speed. an auto-loader either loads it at that speed or doesn't. If the system break, well, its broken, no arguments there.2. I am somewhat skeptical of that. On what grounds do you make that claim, what is your source?
>>32031646Human loaders can load faster than autoloaders in short bursts, however.
>>32031659That is true. It seems to come down to personal preference: what do you want to focus on, and what are you willing to sacrifice.
>>320316461: If you shoot that much you're in a drawn-out engagement and not an optimum firefight.2: Autoloaders need to stage the next round, and have further ammo staged beyond that. Which means in the turret. T-72 are notorious for cookoffs popping the turret, and the T-90 is a modernized T-72. The M1 series keeps rounds in a chamber at the back that is both segmented and sealed from the crew section except when the loader is grabbing another round.
>>32031702>The M1 series keeps rounds in a chamber at the back that is both segmented and sealed from the crew section except when the loader is grabbing another round.Also, you do know that when the M1 was uprated to the M1A1 with the 120mm gun, the segmented ammunition storage was not (and never has been) similarly uprated to withstand an internal explosion from the more powerful charges?
>>320317021. drawn out engagements can go either way. US doctrine is 'finish the fight quickly, period'. Personally, I say do whatever it takes to win. if that means wearing down and tiring out the enemy, you do it. so we're back to personal preference.2. Ok, that makes sense. West values its crew, Russians... 'eh, we've got more men.'>>32031764given the Gov's budget problems and DoD's runaway costs with the Air Force, I am not suprised in the least.
>>32031646Also, I'd put forward the following:All NATO tanks (except the French, but who cares about them?) use manual-loader guns. Almost all the same gun design, in fact. (Fucking Brits and their HESH fetish) Their serious warfighters are the volunteer types.Russia designs their tanks around the assumption that it's going to be conscript's who'll be gone just after really learning how to use high-skill gear properly, so they build to the least training necessary concepts.
>>32031764Even with a cookoff in a current M1 you have time to get out and get clear, unlike Russian tanks.
>>32031804>All NATO tanks (except the French, but who cares about them?) use manual-loader guns.And yet the Japanese, Koreans, and I believe Indians are using indigenously-developed Autoloaders now.Also;>All NATO tanksPT-91 Twardy disagrees with your assertion.
>>32031817Do you have an actual citation to back that up?
>>32031804And now we've moved to the gold-ole' "NATO v. USSR", volunteer vs. draftee debate. I will agree with the volunteer, My cousin in the Army has convinced me in that respect. I still stand by the 'AK' style of building: easy to learn, easy to fix, will last forever. >>32031852anything on why they went with Autoloaders?
>>32031896Autoloaders are more reliable nowadays compared to the 70s and 80s. Also removing the human loader means less volume, which means less space that needs to be armoured, which means more armour for a smaller area.
"Watch your head!" You say, as you rotate the turret backwards into the travel position. He ducks underneith the rotating gun barrel continues up to the side of the turret. "So, we're gonna head out to the range, let off a few shots." You say as you usher him towards the engine deck."Just hold onto the cannon, I take it?" He says, sitting back against the gun mantlet and throwing an armo over the gun itself."Something like that." Richard takes the tank out through the lot and onto the dirt path that leads forward towards the ship's less-used bow section. He takes it slow, but it's still a bumpy ride- Richard hangs on though, with the producer following along in a chase car- the Cameraman is hanging out the passenger window filming.You duck into the turret. "Hey Rose, want to let him have a few shots with the T54?" You ask as she leans away from the gun, resting her eyes."I just calibrated the sights this morning." She says."He'll be gentle." You reply as you stick your head out of the top of the tank as Richard slows to a halt at the range. There's already some scrap-iron targets left from earlier this morning. "Hey, Richard! Rose is gonna let you take a few shots with the gun!"It's cramped though- someone's gonna need to make room for him. You can stay outside and let Rose have the commander's seat to show him the gun, or you can do it yourself.>Let Rose show him the ropes.>Stay in the turret- you need to put him on target.>Other.
>>32031896>anything on why they went with Autoloaders?In the Japanese case, Part of it is for similar reasons to the Russian's *actual* reason for introducing autoloaders, (most certainly not herpaderpa conscripts), which is that the reduction in crew requirements and thus size allows the tanks to be kept under 50 tons with an equivalent amount of protection to heavier MBTs. Huge logisitcal benefits.The Other reason actually stretches back the their earlier designs, the Type 61 and Type 74, which used smaller 90mm and 105mm guns respectively; because at the time the current standard of Japanese tankers were not believed to be able to reliably handle larger shells in a combat environment. This attitude persisted so that when they adopted modern 120mm guns, they brought in Autoloaders to deal with the increased shell weights.Point of Fact, the Chinese are using newly-developed autoloaders on all their new designs, for what I understand are similar reasons.
>>32031970>Let Rose show him the ropesI'm assuming the inside of the turret is being filmed, right? If so, lets show them the Goddess of Ballistics.>>32031964Thank you.
>>32031994And thank you.>>320320090.0 That was a quick response.
>>32031804>Russia designs their tanks around the assumption that it's going to be conscript's who'll be gone just after really learning how to use high-skill gear properly, so they build to the least training necessary concepts.By that logic, they wouldn't have bothered to install (a completely different design of) Autoloaders in their T-64 and T-80 series tanks, since those were exclusively intended for their Elite professional formations, as opposed to the bulk-of-the-army T-72s.
>>32031970>Let Rose show him the ropes.
>>32032004This. SO much this.
>>32031970>Let Rose show him the ropesI don't quite grasp the enthusiasm of /k/ripple and co but yeah. This.
>>32032248You must have missed Rose's utter demolishing of Assam in the Stug challenges. BJ says when he rolled for Rose, nothing but 6s. She is THE GODDESS OF BALLISTICS!
>>32032248I'm only enthusiastic because she needs more screentime.Also >>32032286
>>32032341we should've gone rose route???
>>32032341>>32032396I'm getting close to the point where I'd pay someone to writefag Rose lewds or even have deculture draw Rose for me... It's been bothering me for a while...
>>32032396She wasn't the goddess of ballistics by the time that we were already looking at Yukari, IIRC. Also it's bad form to have inter-team relations.
>>32032455You mean Intra-Team Relations.We're already having Inter-team relations with Miho, as is Saori and whatsisname.
>>32032478Yes, that. It's 3am.
>>32032447I remember early on someone asking what Rose looked like and somebody else posting this pic for hair style. I think someone did a sketch for Rose and Russell later on, but I'll have to dig through the archives. lewds... who with? Alice from Saunders is a sniper, Nonna is Nonna... coem to think of it does anyone have a good idea WHO and WHAT Rose likes in a person, much less a significant other?>>32032485glad to see I'm not the only one. and its 4: AM here.
>>32032524Rose is practically a terminator. I feel sorry for anyone she sets her sights on.
>>32032555Oh God I just had inspiration: in the 4koma joke strips, Hana is portrayed as having an insatiable desire for Saori and anyone with big tits. Psycho-stalker Hana+The Goddess of Ballistics... the lewd has over taken me. I must report to the Commissar for 'blamming'. goodbye.
>>32032145Except that wasn't the purpose of the T-64 or T-80.The two designs were a result of a wierd doctrine where the armored regiments would normally have T-64s and T-80s, while mechanized formations got T-72s.The 64s and 80s were more full-on tank on tank designs, while the T-72s were more along the lines of a tank that could fight armor but also pull half-decent HE-frag support.
"Alright, so- Rose'll show you the ropes on the gun." You pull yourself up out the hatch. "Right. Almost forgot-" You say gesturing Richard up to the turret. "This is Rose, our gunner." He reaches out and shakes her hand, evidently expecting something delicate or lady-like from her shake. She disabuses him of that idea. "Rose this is Richard. He's on TV." As he slips down into the turret. You continue. "And the fellow on your left is our loader, Roy." Before Richard gets started, he and the cameraman attach a few small cameras to the inside of Black Jack's turret. It's too cramped to fit a cameraman in there, and you're pretty sure they won't be able to film and load at the same time. "Alright, Rose, the turret is yours." You say cheerfully.As you look around, you see two more tanks following up- Anzu's 38(t) and the Panzer IV.>Stay and observe- offer help where you can.>Go talk with Anzu.>Go talk with Miho.>Other.
>>32032620Stay and observe the Goddess at work, then point out our teammates when appropriate.
>>32032620>Stay and observe- offer help where you can.
>>32032620>Go talk with Anzu.>Go talk with Miho. >"Rose's got this section. anything new at your end?"
>>32032689this. Rose'll be fine.
>>32032689This. Rose knows what she's doing and she certainly ain't stupid.
>>32032689I can see the reactions now:*sees Miho's face* "Anzu, what did you do?" *mention Miho interviews* "YOU DID WHAT!"
>>32031852Possibly the Turks will join soon with their new Atlay tank.
Anzu looks smug as you walk up towards her and Miho. "Looks like you're having fun." She says, wrist-deep in a bag of sweet potato chips. "Media relations isn't that bad, is it?" She says, looking to Miho encouragingly."Gotta admit- Richard's a pretty decent guy." You say, sticking your hands in your pockets. You're a good distance away from Black Jack, now- hopefully far enough that the T54 won't immediately destroy your hearing- A glance back has the camera man standing a ways back from the tank, hearing protection already on, filming it as, presumably, Richard rotates the turret back and forth."You're letting him play with your tank?" Miho says, incredulously. Your tank was a very personal thing- in fact she's one of the few people who have been allowed in it during operation. You've known Richard for less than an hour."Yeah- Rose and Roy are in there with him. Figured if he's filming everything he might want to try it out." You move to stand next to Miho and watch the tank as it settles its aim on a target. You casually put your fingers in your ears- followed by everyone else.If Black Jack was loud from inside, he's deafening from outside- you don't often get to hear the report this way. A moment later the hatch pops open and Richard- you really need a name for him that isn't your driver's name- pops his head out grinning ear to ear as he speaks down to the cameraman."Should be good TV." Anzu says with a smile.
NEXT TIME ON GIRLS UND PANZER!>Mud hamsters.>We talk smack.>We gonna be famous?Girls und Panzer Quest will return next Thursday at 4-5PM PST!Follow me on twitter for schedule updates and to find out when the thread goes live!https://twitter.com/BlackJackGuPQ
>>32033407You better show us the completed Top Gear segment. This will be awesome.
No "alternative stories" today? Sad.jpeg