I'm having a shitty day. Cheer me up, /teej/. Please.
this one gets a good laugh out of me, hope this cheers you up some, op
I'm surprised nobody posted this one yet
I laughed out loud just finding this one.
Let the dumping commence
are we doing any /tg/ funny things or only screenshots?
>>31959695The request was to humor poor OP, so go ahead, hit us.
>>31959695Anything /tg/ related and funny really, I just only have screencaps
>>31959838and we have the Elite Four.
>>31959866...............................................Dude... Just how new are you?
>>31959862there will now be a contengent of warforged ninja in my players guild (Freelance Adventurers Guild) to "deal" with politicians.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm out
>>31959166Shit. I'm at work and now my co-workers are questioning my giggling.
>>31958912That's it for me too.But before I'll go: cheer up OP-kun. Whatever happens, it will be better with time. Patience is the best medicine.Yeeehaw!
Anyone got the one with the necromancer who only uses his family?
>>31959677What the hell is a Goobar?
>>31960384Where I'll hook you if you don't stop asking stupid questions
>>31960384http://www.realestate.com.au/property-house-nsw-narrabri-114017887A place in Australia apparently
>>31960384I assume "hooking in the goobar" means "punch in the nuts" when translated from retard.
>>31960384I think it's something with custard and truffles.
>>31959937I don't get the reference.
>>31960228Yessss, goodtimefeelsfunny. Thanks anon.
>>31960228That was a good thread.
>>31960570You're welcome anon, have a nice day
>>31959695>FilenameWell he apparently beat my perception check...
Cheers, /tg/. Glad you're always here
Will take me a while.
>>31961310Kind of long, but REALLY worth sticking through.
>>31961372this one i had not seen beforethank you for the gigglesm8
>>31961372this is the best.
Bumping glorious thread with content.
>>31962345Statistically, this didn't happen. But I'm glad I read the story.
>>31964012oh definately notbut im not gonna let reality ruin a good story now
>>31964461I'm glad I now have a way to be even more obnoxious than the people wishing me happy zombie day.
>>31964537remember Lazarus? totally the work of a necromancer.
>>31964461But Jesus was described eating and drinking. Can liches do that?
>>31966782yeah, their bodies only deteriorate if they let them
>>31966782I always assumed he was just straight up resurrected as per the raise dead/resurrection/true resurrection spells. The wounds can be superficially added again intentionally to serve as proof of identity.
>>31964461Don't Liches have to perform some work of great evil as part of the LIchification rituals? Is it dependant on the system/setting? Not a huge RP'er here, help me out.
>>31967136Don't think that's required, just common.
>>31967136There are good aligned liches.
>>3195930210/10 mods, would RP with
>>31967332Yes, I've heard of that, but as I understand it they become Liches because they couldn't defeat the BBEG in their normal life, so they become Liches for a second chance, so I thought that would still require some sort of act of great evil. (Logic is to do relatively small evil now because it's the only way to a much greater and more important good.)That would mean Jesus as a Lich doesn't work. But if the Lichification process doesn't require an evil act as >>31967268 says, then Jesus as a Lich makes sense.
>>31967420In Forgotten Realms there is the Baelnorn type of lich.http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Baelnorn_lich
>>31961372I'm imagining that Manuel duped every big name player in the setting at some point. To this day no one knows why he's still around.
>>31967651because his deals are amazing, yeah that dragon might be a lizard with wings taped on, but it was only 5 Sp. the only time he got beaten really bad was by Hassan, Manuel was trying to sell a horse with a sack of grain tied to its back as a camel.
>>31964759Halberd Knigga formation gets me every damn time
>>31959862>>31959936You can do this in the new D&D 5e/Next whatever its called- druids at level 14 get the "thousand faces" power which lets them imitate any creature of the same size and type. pic unrelated but fun
>>31968764ah but I play 3.5 so that probably won't happen.
This just might still be my favorite.
My friend blew his brains out today OP. Cheer me up pls :(
>>31970257It'll get better anon, nothing to lose your head over.
>>31959803I'm playing a slav that's very far away from home in shadowrun right now. I sometimes have suspicions he might end up becoming a terrorist.
>>31959693I haven't been so amused in a long time, anon. That poster really got his accent.
>>31969983That response just makes the picture, because deep down we know that we would all want to make it and try it out even knowing the consequences.
>>31971332There's more of them, there's a dwarf, orc, dragon, Jackie Chan and I think one more. Need to cook some food right now but when I'm done in an hour or so I'll see if I can find them.
>>31971501Please do. You have my thanks.
>>31971842Skyrr'ix, the Hellbreather!
>>31971842>>31971831Ohh, this is good.
>>31971880Jackie Chan! And that's it.I did a quick google for the archived thread as well. I haven't read it but I assume this set of pictures pulled all the relevant bits.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/31502134/
>>31959838>no Gardevoir/tg/, WTF!
>>31969983>Guy in the backyard is pleading with them to kill himMy fucking sides.
Does anyone have the story of The Plagueson of Nurgle?
Does anyone have the one of either a d20 Modern or Shadowrun character who used an anti-materiel rifle that was way too big for him, ended up breaking both of his arms firing the damn thing, and had to escape by holding onto a helicopter rope ladder with his teeth?
>>31975814This is like the safer version of sado or 120 days of sodom
>>31975814Hah, didn't think anyone saved this.
>>31977733Clever idea to put it in a dreadnought.
>>31977733>Wanted to have his skin Tanned and mounted to be put on display.Jesus fuck who would want that.
>>31967420http://www.wizards.com/DnD/Article.aspx?x=dnd/4ex/20090410>Unlike many who have become liches before you, you have trained your mind to avoid succumbing to the madness that necromantic preservation often brings. For instance, you did not perform the foul ritual that traded your life for animation the moment you found it; you waited until your power was equal to the change. Nor did you accept the aid of Orcus, Demon Prince of the Undead, to empower the ritual, but you waited to find methods outside his control. In doing so, you escaped his touch, though you bear his personal enmity to this day.
>>31971897Truly the best person.
>>31977733I hope he put them into a dread. If he did he got to see the face of his opponent every time he says his dread got the actual ashes of his dead father in it, so that even in death, he's still sharing some good times with his son.Priceless.
>>31964461But then who was phylactery
>>31981683The Grail, why do you even ask.
>>31981730>Your party must seek the Holy Grail>Because it's the only way to kill the almighty ChristEdgy party of the year, all years.
>>31981683he is a symbol lich, obviously, the cross is his symbol.
>>31981802Didn't know about symbol lichs, but that is likely.Or would be, if the cross was used before a couple centuries after jesus' death/resurection.
>>31981802>Symbol LichKILROY WAS HERE
>>31981872but the Romans still used Crucifixion as a form of execution until after then. also that fish symbol could count as well.
>>31981802Could...could a modern-day symbol lich choose the Coca-Cola logo, and become as unto a god?
>>31982242Nah, I'm pretty sure they Symbol you pic must be a symbol of your own design.
>>31982242why do you think Coke is so addictive in the first place. John Pemberton is still out there somewhere.
>>31982292>Using a gods symbol as your own will immediately alert the godYou can basically use any symbol if you can use a god's one, though people would probably have to utilize it in a way that would actually give the lich belief points as a god would.
>>31982116I mean the cross as a christian symbol. The fish pre-date it in this use but is all but extinct.Could be that the fish really is the phylactery but some other symbol lich (one of the apostles?) managed to replace it with the cross.So you'd have the real Christ barely surviving while the fake is godlike. Interesting setup.
>>31982454for an even bigger twist Judas is the cross lich of course some would think it's obvious.
>>31982454>Using the cross as a symbol>Not glorious Chi-Rho
>>31982519Judas hung himself in shame. Nah, it's peter.Or one of the four writers of Jesus' biographies.Or someone entirely different, like pilate.>>31982565I think the symbol-lich is something interesting. They'd start cults worshipping their symbol, and as soon as a cult start gaining popularity, you have a dozen others trying to change the main symbol of the new cult to theirs.A millenia later the cult stabilised in whatever (a religion, a company...), with a main symbol thought to be the "true one", and several half-forgotten ones. In the backstage, there is one winning symbol-lich and the losers (if they're even alive at this point).
>Yfw Hitler was a symbol Lich using the swastika as his symbol>Yfw the government knows thisNow you know why it's so frowned upon to draw it.
>all gods are symbol-lichs>a lot of kings and dictators were or tried to be as welldiscuss.
>>31982660Judas did hang himself, but as we know, being a lich makes a hanging kind of trivial. The best way to fake your death is to actually die, then not have it stick.
>>31982799And then start a religion around it, hint hint.
>>31981913Kilroy must be an incredibly powerful lich by now. He's been at it for longer than most others.
>>31977432This is the finniest screencap I have ever seen on /tg/. I still remember the first time I read it. I burst into constant, hysterical laughter and couldn't stop for five minutes. I have never been so glad that I was alone in the office than for those five minutes.
>>31964461I'm pretty sure Jesus was just True Resurrected by YHWH.
>>31986503If he had been True Resurrected then he wouldn't have had wounds on his hands, feet, or side.
I've got this gem here.
>>31988587Hahaha, holy fucking shit, I wish I was there for that.
>>31981683Judas. That's why jesus never came back like he said he would.
>>31979555>not wanting the work of master artists that you carry with you 24/7 to exist past the end of your fragile meat shell
>>31989168>>31989214>>31989254is that it? because those are hilarious.
>>31989317The same guy did some comics of assorted famous adventures, including the ToH. I'll try to dig them up...
>>31989349There we go. More incoming.
>>31989404Dammit, the Ravenloft one is too big. Oh well. They're a bit of a bitch to follow but they're funny so whatever.
>>31989435I really should have stuck these all in one folder.
>>31989435I'm running Castle Ravenloft right now and let me tell you that the comic version has the best compiled map of the castle by far.
Ignore the green line, that's just a slime trail
>>31989593Oh hey, I didn't have that one. Thanks!
>>31959588The DM for this one seemed actually kind of hurt when he saw this screencap of his player complaining.
>>31960632>Chim chim charoo mothafuckas
>>31989214I can't find any information on AD&D.How accurate is any of this? I assume not very.
>>31991511Half elves can't ride unicorns, only elves.They can assess a mount's quality, and being cared for by a cavalier gives mounts +2 hp.Not sure where the two mounts thing comes fromAnd yes, they do have to attack enemies in the order described.
My hard drive weeps at this thread. Thanks for all the interesting caps.
>>31967136>GREAT WORK OF EVIL: SACRIFICE PUPPIES AND BABIES>GREAT WORK OF GOOD: SACRIFICE SELF FOR ALL MORTALS
>>31977733>entire family gets cremated>each family member's ashes are compressed into a tiny diamond (this is a thing)>family necklace with each previous family member on it>"my ancestors are always with me"
>>31982242But then the Coca-Cola God would know about it and send his Paladin, Mean Joe, after you.
>>31994007That reminds me of one I wish I'd saved, which was a sitcom idea based on L5R where the MC is a courtier who is being married off into the Matsu family, and the MC and his bride both love each other but have difficulty actually admitting it thanks to shyness and interruptions, mainly by the father who, despite being a proud and noble samurai (preferably played by Brian Blessed), is absolutely terrified of his wife and has no understanding of appropriate conversations, showing up at the right time, or knocking before entering (which is one of the reasons why his wife keeps chasing him: when he runs away, he runs straight through the paper walls/doors...).
>>31993203this is indeed a thing and would be fuckingepicawesomenessofamazeballs for L5R.
>>31959822Someone screencaped one of my posts! I feel so warm and tingly inside
>>31964759>Shank two niggas at once>Shank one nigga twiceMy sides have suffered a penetrating hit!
>>31996951The severed part goes flying in an arc!
Is this how a tabletop session is like? I've never played one before https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zng5kRle4FA
>>31959175Never understood that one. He could have spawned court members via gold or piety to have new doods.
>>31989435Does anyone have the books for these in .pdf form? I want to run one of these dungeons for some friends, as a first time game over the internet.
>>31988587Ah, so that's the context of this >>>/d/5439016
>>31959885After this i can't laugh. May be it's make me cry storytime?
>>32000410This is pretty accurate.
>>31959634Am I the only one who read the dwarf's lines in Sean Connery's voice?
>>31969983So what was the fucking recipe ?
>>32003619>1 part milk, 1 part chocolate ice cream, 1 part cosmic brownie, probably 1 part of some whey protein powder, 6 parts of Satan's asshole, and like three mystery ingredients.Someone always asks.
>>31959549>hit the back of the bag with laser weaponry>1500 pounds of shit moving at relativistic speeds>MAXIMUM_FUCKd6 damage
>>32004786nah, that would just destroy the bag, it has to be turned inside out. I'd say use a peasant rail-gun, but if you are going to go through the trouble to set one up, you should just use the PRG.
>>32004786>relativistic speeds99,999 fire/force damage in 10ft radius per pound, max 1000ft.Magic items, see disjunction rules.
>>32003801I found everything but I now need a last mystery ingredient and there is only neoprene glue or nuln oil nearby. What should I go for ?
>>31967136Archliches aren't evil. In fact, they're kinda required not to be evil. At least that was the case with 2e and earlier. Dunno about 3.x and beyond.
>>31959549What a stupid fucking way to look at itAn average person could just simply punch the bag at 20-25mph and it would have an even greater affect without the need of taking several feats and using hast.Hell a fully trained warrior could probably punch faster then that, considering he probably punches a lot more then the average human.GOD I HATE FUN SO MUCH
>>31959175Everytime I hold a grand tournament I hope for this to happen.
Does anyone have that cap of the guy who screwed with his edgy players by having all the people they kill turn out to be villains? It was in a superhero setting, went something like>players eventually get fed up and kill mayor>"He was a skrull infiltrator, you're lauded as heroes"or something.
>>32007186>>32007090Whoops, didn't mean to quote you. Sorry for the false hope.
>>32007090Here ya go.
>>31958912Come with me to the tale of Elsimore: The Destroyer of All Psions...http://1d4chan.org/wiki/That_Guy_Destroys_All_Psions
>>32007253thank you, kind anon.
>>32000582How about, he's 116 years old and no one really understands how to play that ridiculous game anyway.
>>32007232>business as usual in the Imperium
>>32008590Even 40k doesn't have 300km ships. Except a questionably canonical chaos one
>>31959670guess you could call it a...quantum of solace
>>31959626But that's not humor at all. That's tragedy.
>>31959822Dammit, I made a better, more easily readable version of this one. Here it is.
>>32005318Where did you find 6 parts of Satan's asshole? This sounds like an adventure you're not telling us about.Also, go with the oil. The glue will back you up and you'll die from constipated diarrhea.
>>31989909Speaking of this guy
>>32007378Jesus christ my sides are currently docking with the ISS
>>31959549>Be monk-socereror.>Apply this combo with monk speed.>Win forevor.
>>32007393>ever assuming that a drow with spiders in her vagina is not aroused
>>32009617Is it really? It has a sort of a happiness to it in my mind.
>>31958912Seriously, though.What the fuck is a Yellow Dragon?
>>32011203A dragon with yellow scales?Are custom monsters a foreign concept to you?
>>32011203There actually is such a thing, I forget the details. Nothing like the ones in that story though.
>>32007619There's more, I hope?
>>32011281I'll see if I can find something in my folders, might have something from a "humans, fuck yeah" thread or two.
>>32012744And I guess I should post a few "Veil of Madness" as it's humans trolling the universe
>>32012783Veil of Madness: the movie story
>>31960384Mouth, it means to punch someone in the mouth.
>>32012793Veil of Madness: diplomacy
>>32012813And I feel that I must post a link to the "Old Man Henderson" story, as that was probably one of the more awesome/epic stories I've stumbled across. I wish I was actually around when the stories were first posted.http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson
>>31989593Those toad eyes are gonna be handy.
>>32012813Are there more Veil stories? Please!? I want to read more!
>>31977447>>31977527>>31977542>>31977560>>31977575Awesome stories, anon, truly awesome. I could only hope to play in such a long standing and in depth game of adventure and whimsy.
>>32008408this is glorious
>>31959695What's happening here in pic?
>>32014046A centaur disguised as a man riding a horse.
>>32014149What if it's a horse disguised as a centaur disguised as a human riding a horse?
>>32007846>no one really understands how to play that ridiculous game anyway.I've conquered the world with a african pagan viking count in that game.I once ruled an entire empire comprised entirely of heretical christians as a muslim, just to avoid decadence.One time, for the hell of it, I built the most massive empire in history, spanning all the map, then broke it all down to counties and watched it evolve.I have also been spymaster for 12 holy roman emperors, assassinating them all and their families.
>>32014167What if it's two guys in a horse costume disguised as a centaur, disguised as a man on a horse?
>>32014377Then I hope the one in the back is a woman or a bottom
>>32013323Well, I have 2 more stories, one isn't really that funny, but the other one feels like the end of the Veil of Madness story and does follow in the footsteps of humanity trolling. I'll post the not so funny one first.
>>32016057Last one I have.
>>32016077oh wait, found one last short one.
I need more dorf fort stories.
>>31959626Holy shit.That's some wild Anon stuff.
>>31959885>Looks up at me with a mix of doubt, confusion, and mild lust>Mild lustL-lewd
>>32009617No Anon, no. That is Legacy
This thread must live
>>31959537Shit, I shouldn't have opened this at work
Hey, I just got a promotion!
I can never let a /tg/ screencap thread die, especially when there's new content I've not seen in it.I'll start with a classic
>>32007232don't see what the issue is, thats every day in 40k . . .oh, wrong imperium.
>>32011240It was practically just a desert dragon with hot wind as their breath weapon.