The Char B2bis sits in the hanger, soggy, covered in algae and a bit rusty, but it's still out of the pond and ready to be cleaned, restored and repainted. It's a tank though, with good armor and decent firepower. You glance sideways at the Oorai Public Morals committee- despite her attempts at looking aloof and conservative, Midoriko Sono and the rest of her crew are clearly in awe of their new ride. Then Patrick ruins it. "It looks like a duck."You are Commander Russells of the M26E1 Pershing Heavy Tank "Black Jack" and what was heard now cannot be unheard. What was seen cannot be unseen. It does look like a duck- a long, relatively thin and low hull with a rounded point. And the gun looks like a beak. "Dammit, Patrick." You sigh. "Dammit."Even if Patrick put it in everyone's mind, Yukari is the one that enthusiastically runs with it. "But we can't call them Team Duck- that's already the Excelsior!" She thinks for a moment. "Geese are really mean- What about Team Goose?" >"We can't name another team after waterfowl...">"Mallards are a kind of duck...">"Can't we think of anything more... aggressive?"
Talk to me, Goose.
>>31395143>"Mallards are a kind of duck..."Also, If Anzu is here, let's mention History club's request for applique armor and other assorted bitz.
>>31395247good idea. I was fine with the name in the anime, Nothing wrong with doing it again here.
>>31395143>"Mallards are a kind of duck..."
>>31395143>"Why not Swan?"Seriously swans are bigger assholes than Geese
>>31395613lethal, and beautiful...
>>31395143>"Why not Swan?"Destiny ntilbu
>>31395143>"Mallards are a kind of duck..."quackquackquack?Quack!
>>31395143>"Can't we think of anything more... aggressive?"No particular reason.
"Mallard's a kind of duck." You volunteer, reaching up to stroke your chin. It does look like a duck and it would be a shame not to take advantage of that. "Mallard team?" You say, testing the name."W-what?" Midoriko says, finally listening to the conversation. "We can't have such a... weak name!" She turns and looks at you and Yukari. "Why can't we be something fearsome- Hawk team!"Nozomi speaks up helpfully. "We could be Tiger team!"You and Yukari look at each other. Yukari looks at them. "We don't do aggressive names- Anglerfish... Turtle... Hippo..." She starts counting off on her hands."Hippos kill more people than lions!" Moyoko corrects. "And have you ever seen what an Anglerfish looks like?!" She puts her hands up to mimic the teeth and jaws of the Panzer IV's namesake.You shake your head. "Nope. Mallard Team." You look at Yukari and Patrick and nod. "It's decided. You guys should get to cleaning it out- if the mechanics have to they'll give you hell." You look at the gravely as they shuffle off to clean out their new tank.>Find Anzu, make requests.>Check with team- start practicing to hunt cats.>Other.
>>31397341>Check with team- start practicing to hunt cats.
>>31397341>Find Anzu, make requests.>Check with team- start practicing to hunt cats.
>>31397341>Find Anzu, make requests.Business before pleasure
>>31397468I'd penetrate Erika's Royal Pussy, if you know what I mean.
>>31397341>>31397455Por que no los dos?
>>31397341>>Check with team- start practicing to hunt cats.
>>31397502seconded.>>31397500yes, but can you make her less dickish, if you know what I'm saying?
>>31397341>>Find Anzu, make requests.>>Check with team- start practicing to hunt cats.
>>31397455>datgif+1 from me!Also, does anyone else want to see Erwin get a cupola mounted MG42? For... cathartic reasons.
You toss a look at Patrick and then back towards Black Jack- he nods as you both start walking back towards your tank. "We need practice." You say flatly. Before giving your radioman a wry grin. "We're going to dethrone a King Tiger." He grins back towards you. "One-on-one in a tank designed to kill German tanks and a gun specifically designed to kill Tigers? If you lose this we'll never live it down." You notice Yukari following the two of you, and you slow your step to let her catch up. "So, any opinion on the matter, Yukari?""I just think it's romantic..." She says wistfully. "A tanker going to battle to protect the girl he loves..." As she gazes up into the air in thought you find your face going red hot."I-it's not just about Miho, y'know!" You say, a bit too defensively. "She called Black Jack's honor into question- She wasn't impressed?" You grin ruefully as you think of her face when this is all done. "Let's see how unimpressed they are when that Tiger's got a smoking hole in it." You slap your fist into your other hand.Yukari grins at you. "It's also pretty exciting that the Pershing and Tiger II are going to fight for the first time ever!" She puts a finger to her chin. "I bet all the online historical forums are going to explode!">"Wait... First time what?">So now we have the historical pride of the entire M26 program riding on us.>Other.
>>31398603>So now we have the historical pride of the entire M26 program riding on us."Onward, my merry men! ... And Rose."
>>31398603>"Wait... First time what?">Call Anzu, make requestsyeah, we REALLY need to get that done.
>>31398734+1I know the normal and Super Pershing saw limited combat in Europe, but not a SINGLE confirmed Tiger II?
>>31398801Nope. records are pretty spotty and tankers had the propensity to call all german tanks tigers or panthers.
>>31398603>>"Wait... First time what?">>So now we have the historical pride of the entire M26 program riding on us.FORTH AND FEAR NO DARKNESS!
>>31398865THAT bad? This is why the world needs more PC logic. Nobody think to check the wreckage for loot... and ID the vehicle too.
>>31398934To be fair, they had a war to fight.
>>31398934...might be slightly difficult to get out and check when there's still people shooting at you.
>>31398865Well, at least we know Pershing can prey on Panther.
>>31398970>>31398992...ok, that makes sense, and now that I think about it, the goal was to get as far into Germany as possible, so stopping to analyse the battlefield would take up precious time and resources. Either way, Historians, military geeks, and even a few veterans will be interested to hear about the outcome of this fight... we need to have Anzu film the match, unofficially.
>>31398603>>So now we have the historical pride of the entire M26 program riding on us.
>>31399107And sell the tapes blackmarket to streaming sites and shit fir some quick funds.Not long-term since lelinternet but we can make a few quick bucks off of it in addition to a fuckload of publicity.
>>31399160Set up a low quality stream for free, get THE HYPE, and flog off HD copies to the historian/nerd community for bux
>>31399160>>31399191Let's juts make sure that we keep Russel's and Miho's involvement plausibly deniable. "we were fighting for our family's honor, we have no control over what our Student Council president does."
>>31399324>our family'sMan that's gonna get misconstrued to hell and back.
>>31399443sorry, that's just my WIDE personal definition of family kicking in. Out where I am, EVERYONE is treated family: people you grew up with, girlfriends, and to an extent, even cars. In-character check list: been with crew since childhood? check.Have a girlfriend? Check.Tank been in family for generations? Check.I should still change 'our' to 'my' though.
>>31398603>So now we have the historical pride of the entire M26 program riding on us.
>>31398734let's bite the bullet and get our audience with the B*itch queen of Ooarai over with.
You remember something. "Oh, Patrick- before I forget. Can you go dig up Anzu and bring her over?" He nod over towards the Pz.38(t)- Patrick seemed to get on fairly well with Anzu- seemingly out of a shared love of making angry and/or uncomfortable."Doesn't sound like grunt work." He comments before strolling off. You look back at Yukari. "So wait, what was this about the first what?" You ask her- It seems odd to you that the most power tanks of each nation had never once in the history of combat or tanking faced off."Yep- Pershings are pretty rare, but Tigers even more so." She stops to think for a second. "Actually, I think Black Jack might be the first Pershing to fight in Japan, and besides Kuromuromine there's like... Maybe dozen intact Tiger II's in the world." She shrugs. "Considering they never crossed paths during the War..."But you remember a story... "What about the Duel at Dessau?" You say, refering to the legendary encounter between a Super Pershing and a King Tiger. "Pershing: One. Tiger II: Zero."Yukari shakes her head. "Didn't happen- well, probably didn't happen- the story's been discredited for years." You lifts up a hand and ticks off a first finger. "First of all, by that point in the war Tiger II's were mainly deployed in the east against the Russians. Second..." She ticks off a second finger. "German records didn't indicate any Tiger II units in that area- the closest ones were fighting the Russians seventy miles away on the other side of Berlin." She ticks off a third finger. "Third, there were no Allied reports of a Tiger II being in Dessau, either, let alone being knocked out by a Super Pershing."She shrugs while you stand there with your mouth open. "They probably knocked out a Panzer IV and then eventually people just embellished the story until it was a Tiger II." She smiles, her lesson complete.>"So, what are our chances then?">This is a perfect time to panic.>This is a perfect time to not panic.>Other.
>>31400733>>This is a perfect time to panic.>> *Miho*"Russel, remember your plan?">>This is a perfect time to not panic.
>>31400733>This is a perfect time to not panic.Psh, we got thisAnyone who says we don't is a coward or a liar.
>>31400733>This is a perfect time to not panic.
>>31400733>>This is a perfect time to not panic.Ain't no thing.
>>31400882we have a plan, so there's no reason to panic.
>>31400733>'Time to make history then."Don't GIVE A FUCK.
>>31400733Didn't we tell someone else about Dessau being discredited earlier?
>>31400954Yes, and it was Yukari
>>31400947This. So seconded.
>>31400733>>This is a perfect time to not panic.>>31400954Thread 51.5>You shrug- you'd heard the story yourself. "Supposedly, the duel at Dessau never happened. Or it wasn't a Tiger..." You say, chewing on your popcorn. "They think it was probably either a regular Tiger, a Panther or even just a Mark-IV." It had become popular post-war, when the Tiger's mythical reputation started spreading out into the general populace. "Not to mention German reports never mentioned any King Tigers active within a hundred miles of Dessau.""Really?" Yukari says, sounding a bit disappointed."Afraid so... American tankers tended to call anything with treads and an Iron Cross a Tiger." It was true- a lot of German tanks tended to look very similar to other tanks- PzIVs were often confused with Tigers, just like Panthers were often misidentified as King Tigers. And that was when they could be visually identified- a number of German self-propelled guns used 88mm guns identical to those mounted on the true Tigers. "Don't get me wrong- I have no doubt that a Pershing could've taken a Tiger II in a fight."Yukari's looking at over at you now. "Oh? What makes you think that? The King Tiger was never knocked out from the front- aside from that duel...""Well- they were testing the T15 cannon and they fired it at a German JadgPanther and, well, it went all the way through the frontal armor, the final drive assembly, the crew compartment and the engine and still punched deep enough into a hill behind it that they couldn't find the round..."Yukari's eyes widen.
>>31400954Well in desperate situations you call upon every piece of information that supports your argument. To play Devil's advocate, while it's true there's no evidence supporting the duel, the evidence against it is kinda iiffy as well. This is just after Seelow heights and by this time the entire German army is in disarray. I wouldn't even trust German reports at this stage because the priority of the army has switched from, 'defend Berlin' to 'get as many people as possible into Allied Germany'.
>>31400733Tiger II has crap for traverse compared to a Spersh, so as long as you can drive circles around it you'll be fine.
>>31401029HVAP is a hell of a round
>>31400954>>31401029wow Blackjack, that's a BIG missed character development moment, unless we come back and tell Yukari we were testing her. Not hating here, just offering constructive criticism. >>31401082it's in our favor to stay as far away as possible, at least initially.
>>31401152He can 'tweak' lastest checkpoint so at least Russel wonder this haven't happen before in Tankwondo/Tankery/Senshado match.
>>31400733>'Time to make history then."GET PUMPED
>>31401152On the other hand the Spersh's 90mm does not have stabilizers of any kind, so trying to outmaneuver the Tiger's poor turret traverse won't work out as well as you'd think
>>31401308Yeah, but we have a gunner good enough to make up for it.
>>31401308wrong guy, you want to direct that to: >>31401082>>31401331we also have a gunner good enough to do this: *quote from last thread*>"we track her from long range, let her repair it, then track her again. toy with her from long range, let her frustration build, then finish her."
>>31401370how's this sound: take the advice of >>31401152and tell Yukari "No I did not let that slip my mind, I was just testing you, and you passed.. Honest."
>>31401370>>This is a perfect time to panic.Russells is just panicking REALLY hard.
>>31400733>'Time to make history then."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSdu9Zw6R54&feature=kp
>>31401419Yukari should've surprised then, since it was from Russel she know that little fact.
>>31401527and hence our recovery of "I knew it all along". (which fools nobody)
>>31401308We have the Goddess of Ballistics on our side.
>>31401557Call me OCD, but it will sounded forced if on next post we just saying that.I just propose maybe BJ can post some revision of >>31400733to make it smoother, without changing option offered.
>>31401632that to is a legit option. in the end, its up to BJ.
>>31401527we told Erwin didn't we?
>>31401682that was a author we were debunking.
>>31401632>I just propose maybe BJ can post some revision of >>31400733>to make it smoother, without changing option offered.Actually... I know exactly how it would go, too. Would be shortened enough that I could work the entire thing into another post... I think it might work.Also noted: My readers have a better memory than me- might be time for me to go back and reread everything.
>>31401755>readers having a better memoryit's only because we *obsess* love what you do BJ! :)
You look back at Yukari. "So wait, what was this about the first what?" You ask her- It seems odd to you that the most power tanks of each nation had never once in the history of combat or tanking faced off."Well, if the duel at Dessau was a myth..." She says shrugging. "The two tanks are both so rare that I can't think of them ever fighting. Certainly hasn't happened in Japan." You actually rack your brain at this point- As far as you knew there were no operational King Tigers in America- Panthers were about the most powerful examples of German steel you'd ever seen back there."Europe?" You ask sheepishly. You really don't want this fight to decide for millions of armchair historians whether the Pershing or the Tiger II was better. "I know there's a few KT's in Europe, right?"She shakes her head. "I've never once heard of it- and, believe me, people argue about the matchup all the time." You pats your back. "It's okay, Russells- if anyone can do this its you!"You nod determinately. "Well, guess I'll be making history then!" You say, grinning as the two of you approach Black Jack- the track link is fixed and Richard and Roy are retensioning the track. "So, evidently our little spat with Kuromurumine is going to make history!" You say with a grin. "Yukari says this is the first time a Pershing and a King Tiger have ever gone head to head.Richard stands up and stretches. "What about the Duel at Des-"He doesn't get a chance to finish before you and Yukari, almost in unision tell him. "Didn't happen.">"So, if we're making history what can we do to get some attention on it?">We should keep it on the DL- we don't need this blowing out of proportion.>Other.
>>31402006>>We should keep it on the DL- we don't need this blowing out of proportion....Well, though certain dried potato lover will milk this. At least we won't involved in that.
>>31402006>>We should keep it on the DL- we don't need this blowing out of proportion.
>>31402006>"So, if we're making history what can we do to get some attention on it?"Attention can mean moneyLots of moneyOorai needs money
>>31402006>"I have an idea on how to get some attention on this!" and were back to Anzu selling out the footage, while we claim ignorance. You all know she's going to do it anyway, even if just to mess with us.
>>31402006>We should charge access to a live stream of the Duel
>>31402142>>31402154yeah, we did already discuss how to handle this, so let's do: >>31399160, >>31399191, and >>31399324
>>31402189This.Just....just left all dirty work on Prez, lets concentrate on Tiger Hunt.
>>31402204don't forget to mention the applique armor.
>>31402189yeah go with this
>>31402249Given what we know Anzu is like, should mention WHY we don't want to be associated with the footage: it would appear mercenary and undermine any rapport with Maho this duel may build.
>>31402006>"So, if we're making history what can we do to get some attention on it?"
>>31402006>>"So, if we're making history what can we do to get some attention on it?"Sell tickets, maybe get some local news to cover it for the tank enthusiasts--oh, and viral market on tank-centric messageboards!
>about to go to bed>see this>MFWPROCEED.
"Wait..." You say a second later. "So... This has the potential to be one of the biggest armored grudge matches in the history of tanking." You say, slowly at first but faster as the thought comes together. "This could be huge- we could get a lot of attention for our team."Roys nods. "Could be a good thing... Attention could mean sponsors." He says quietly. "Sponsors means money."Richard. "And fame- Heh we'd go down in history as the first Pershing crew to knock out a Tiger II." He says, and you practically see him drooling at the thought. "We'd be the idols of tankers everywhere- we're talking Bonita Bandita-tier, man!" He pauses. "Think they'd want to make a movie about it?"You, Roy and even Yukari just stare at him until he realises he's actually drooling at this point. He clears his throat. "Ahem, I think we should definately look into spreading the word on this event.""And what Event are we talking about, Mr. Diaz?" Anzu says cooly, looking like even more of a midget next to your radioman.>Tell her NOTHING. ...Yet.>Fill her in.>"Hippo Team needs some funds for applique armor for the StuG."
>>31403282>Fill her in.
>>31403282>>Fill her in.>>"Hippo Team needs some funds for applique armor for the StuG.""we leave this to you, Anzu!'
>>31403282>"Hippo Team needs some funds for applique armor for the StuG">Fill her in.remember: officially, Russel and Miho are not involved in the filming.
>>31403328Why does this make it seem like Anzu is shooting a creepy porno?
>>31403373To be fair, it might count as TANK PORN.
>>31403373what >>31403380 said. Pay-per-view Voyeur tank porn. six words you'd think would never be in a sentence together.
>>31403373Dunno, perhaps because, to sensha-do amateurs, it IS porn?
>>31403282>>Fill her in.If there's anyone that can help stir up support, it's her.
Hoooboy, I just realized that LGA just missed something wonderful.A King Tiger and Pershing fight side by side.Shame on LGA anon.
>>31403282>Fill her in.I'm just waiting for Russels to realise just how much is riding on this match. Too bad we can't get a picture of his face.Or a picture of Miho's face once she realises how big this is going to get.
It has been an hour. Time to start THE SUMMONING!Is blackjack dead?
>>31404089Have you sacrificed anything?
>>3140411310 hours of sleep,
"Well, we're pretty sure that our match against Kuromuromine's Tiger II is the first time in history that a Pershing and a Tiger II have fought against each other." You start, trying to act nonchalant about the idea."What about that Duel at-" Anzu starts. You, Yukari and Roy simultaneously cut her off. "It didn't happen."Anzu immediately stops, wiggling a finger in her ear. "Alright, jeez, fine. So what's so big about it?""It's a pretty big historical match-up." Yukari says enthusiastically. "The M26E1 was pretty much designed specifically to knock out the King Tiger, but Pershings never got a chance to fight them during the war. There's a ton of discussion already about which tank would've won, and this is going to be a huge feature of that discussion however it turns out."Anzu nods for a second, allowing Yukari to finish. "And you need me to monetize it?" She nods again, more enthusiastically. "I can do that." You can practically see the gears spinning in her brain.You find yourself rolling your eyes as you lean against your tank. "Just don't turn this into a circus, alright?" You sigh. "It's a pretty big match as it is and there's a lot riding on it." Your pride, for one; Maho's respect and your need to crush that arrogent blond tank commander, Erika as well. "Something else, as well- Erwin and Caesar want to up-armor the StuG- there's a whole kit for it and they were wondering if you could free up some funds for them."Anzu stares at you. "Tell you what- you help me make this Pershing-King Tiger match a success and I'll try to make it happen." Oh, you don't like that- an open-ended bargain with Anzu that doesn't involve specifics. A smart man would turn it down immediately. "Fine." You're not a smart man. "Anything you need." You're actually pretty dumb.
NEXT TIME ON GIRLS UND PANZER QUEST.>The deal has been made.>Anzu does what she does best: MOICHANDIZING.>Yukari hypes the Black Jack.Girls und Panzer Quest will return next Thursday at 4-5PM PST.Follow me on Twitter for schedule updates and to find out when the thread goes live. https://twitter.com/BlackJackGuPQ
>>31404310Thanks for the time BlackJack!>>31404262....hopefully whatever in her mind, it is worth it.
>>31404310You're gonna need that tank blog reporter introduced a while ago as a semi-recurring character to play up the hype for this match-up.
Now all that we need to do is not fuck it up. Surely /tg/ can do it. I have faith in you. Just remember that practically the whole tanking world will be watching. As well as the fact that the honour of the entire Pershing lineage (not to mention our girlfriend's honour) rests on our shoulders.No pressure.None at all.
>>31404413The Tank God, by intermediate of His prophet the Tank Fairy, will bless us with the thickest armor humanity ever made.
>>31404515Or Armor of Love."LOVE-LOVE HVAP!!"
>>31404413>Super Pershing crew with a few years of experience in one on one tank duels>vs>A King Tiger with a head strong commander that has no experience not being supported by 14 other tanksThere's no way BlackJack will let us lose but I'm really curious to see how you guys make it difficult for him.
>>31404310>Anzu does what she does best: MOICHANDIZINGGarupans DA FLAMETHROWA