A carrot speeds across the table and hits you in the face.Today is just like yesterday, tomorrow will be just like today. There's no end to the amount of personal favors you've been called to do. You look across the small table to see rows of prepubescent faces. Most of them are totally ignoring you, but a few at the end of the table are giggling and laughing at your expense. You clench your jaw and try to bear it. When Hawkeye said he had a special job for you, you figured it would be intense, gruelling labor. Not watching the children's table. Apparently, this mixer is enough of an event that they needed people to watch over the Children's Unit while the older UGN agents mingle. Normally, a regular person tends to Overed children, making sure that they get a healthy rearing experience, whatever that may be.You refused at first. And at second. And then you refused for a solid six hours of Chief begging you over and over again. However, your will eventually broke after her incessant wailing kept you from getting the sleep you needed. You agreed to it just to get her to shut up for a few hours. You never thought she would actually hold you to it.All in all, this wouldn't have been so bad. You don't need to mingle. You don't need to do anything particularly stressful. You can just eat your meal at this little table and pretend to watch some kids. No problem, right? Wrong.One asshole of a kid at the end of the table keeps telekinetically flinging his food at you. He claims it to be an accident, but after the fifth time, you're not so sure that you believe that he has little to no control over his powers. You can feel your patience slipping as a lump of mashed potatoes hits you right between the eyes. Alright, that's it. Time to...>Get up. Time for seconds.>Put this kid in his place.>Grit your teeth. You can't lose to this kid.
>>31191185>Get up. Time for seconds.
>>31191185[ Twitter is here https://twitter.com/DXR27291052Setting document is here https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rqpLh08K6gZ2EgxGs3oxAzWeh7ZsuSGlKC2sk755928/Archive listings are here http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Double%20Cross%20QuestAs usual, we're going to give this first prompt a little longer than usual, to make sure everyone makes it here on time.]
>>31191185>Get up. Time for seconds.I bet this little shit has a contingency plan for if we try to whoop his ass.
>>31191185>>Get up. Time for seconds.eat up his share too.
>>31191185>>Get up. Time for seconds.Or if pople think it won't traumatize them. Howl of Domination.That'll get the little shits in line
>>31191185It cant be helped. Clearly we must use Domination Howl to show these animals who the alpha is
>>31191185tempted to let captain transform and go full monsters inc. on the brat.but fuck it >Get up. Time for seconds.
That was pretty onesided.
>>31191389Well, I was going to vote for a write in of putting our feet on the table, beast forming our head (after loosening our collar, and making a game out of having the kids try to throw their food in our mouth so we didn't actually have to get up to get seconds, but it was already 5 or 6 to zero when I got here.
>>31191422Fuck I's switch my vote to this if it becomes a thing
>>31191389i think capt. is slowly going numb to people throwing shits at him.>>31191422that's actually pretty awesome
>>31191422I'll support this.
>>31191422If it is possible for us to do this, we should. Make the little monsters work for us.Speaking of little monsters, aren't people reared by the UGN Children's Unit supposed to be fucked up?
>>31191422I like it
>>31191501I think these guys have yet to take the classes
>>31191522I don't think classes can do that to you. I had figured it had something to do with them being improperly socialized.
>>31191501The second generation has benefited from the mistakes of the first.
>>31191545So someone, somewhere in a position of authority in the organization's hierarchy, approaches closely enough what we would consider sanity to realize that turning out a bunch of operatives like Claire is a sign of malfunction. I'm not sure if this is a relief or a cause for greater worry.
>>31191501nobles' kids are exempted i take it.
>>31191422I will gladly second this. The Chief will call us a savage for doing it, but she won't be fun again until and unless we get a reason to murder Hawkeye, so any chance to screw with her is a welcome one.
>>31191185You wipe the potatoes off your face, swallowing your frustration. You pick up the plate and head over to the serving tables. There is no service out here with the Children's Unit; you all must serve yourselves off of several long dining carts. You're not opposed to the idea of a buffet situation, but you liked being waited on just a little bit. It makes sense that there are no servants here--you're not in the ballroom, you're not important enough for that. Instead, you and the Children's Unit have been sectioned off into a much smaller dining room. While it is still posh, extravagant, and loaded with things you don't think any child should be allowed to play with, it is a far cry from the jaw-dropping opulence that you have come to expect from Hawkeye's abode. He apparently doesn't think very much of children...or maybe it's just you. As you approach the serving tables, you sense a presence speeding toward you. It's too small to be a person...nor does it feel alive. Instinctively, you whip your head around and snap whatever it is out of the air. A taste of beef fills your mouth and you feel two pieces of steak rush by your head, cut in two by the force of your jaws. The offending child, a right bastard with curly red hair, pales and turns back to his plate at the table. You suppose you'll go unmolested for at least a little while.
>>31191801"I am always impressed by your intuition, darling."That wasn't very long at all. You turn to find Claire already centimeters away from your face. You take a step back, but she only reaches out with a cloth to wipe the potatoes from your face. The red ribbon dangling from her hair lets you know that Claire isn't alone...Seven is with her. You shake your head and load up your plate and begin to eat where you are, unwilling to join the Children's Unit for the time being. "It is a strange feeling, looking at them. They remind me of myself, but at the same time, they are very different.">Oh yeah, Claire was in the Children's Unit, wasn't she?>Does Claire like children?>Seven's being awfully quiet...
>>31191821>>Seven's being awfully quiet...Offer her food, she a little kid anyway she can chow down
>>31191821>Does Claire like children?
>>31191821>Oh yeah, Claire was in the Children's Unit, wasn't she?
>>31191821If we ask her whether she likes children she'll start talking about how much she wants us to knock her up. We could ask about her time in the Children's Unit, but I suspect that she's been instructed to lie about her past to us, so I'm not sure what that would be productive of. Taking that into consideration>Seven's being awfully quiet...
>>31191821>Seven's being awfully quiet...Diablolinetta best grill.
>>31191821>Seven's being awfully quiet. It just occurred to me that Claire and Seven are the two people in this entire quest who shouldn't be trusted around children. Seven curses up a storm and threatens to kill people as a greeting and Claire can't go an entire conversation without calling Captain a sexual tyrannosaurus.
>>31191857>If we ask her whether she likes children she'll start talking about how much she wants us to knock her up.That's the point.
>>31191821[x] Oh yeah, Claire was in the Children's Unit, wasn't she?
>>31191821>Seven's being awfully quietSee this is what happens when you cede to the UGN. You get forced into a shit job and told to grin and bear it.
>>31191890If anything is going to end up corrupting these kids it might as well be our fault
>>31191821>Seven's being awfully quiet...Not my exact reaction, but I am surprised she's being worn to a ball. Sneaking into a hostage negotiation is one thing, living dress attire is another. Not sure who to be questioning either, Claire who decided to do it or Seven for submitting to it.
>>31191897I realize that. I just don't see the point in picking the joke option at this particular moment. It'd be funny, but we wouldn't learn anything from doing it. Similarly, we'd learn *something* by asking about the Children's Unit, but I strongly believe that any information specifically relating to Claire's time in the unit would be at least partially fabricated. The superior option appears to be asking about Seven. Learning more about her personality is a plus, because (hilariously) out of all the girls we've met this far she seems to be the least mentally abnormal and therefore the one we stand the best chance of being able to predict, plan around, and possibly manipulate once we get to know her.And the more able we are to predict, plan around and manipulate those around us, the easier it will be for us to laze about and slack off and not do work.
>>31191821>>Does Claire like children?
>>31192014Seems reasonable.Two jokes in the bush might be worth one in hand.I just wanted to use this opportunity to get Claire to ruin the Children's (arguable) innocence, thereby pissing HatofulOculus off further.
>>31191821Seven's being awfully quiet today...normally, you'd expect her to be swearing up a storm and explaining all the ways she would love to be eviscerating you."T-that's just...""Quiet," Claire cuts Seven off, "Remember, Subject Seven: You are to behave yourself and become as beautiful an accessory as possible. If not, I can show these children the proper method of executing a criminal."There is dead silence as Seven-no, Claire's ribbon goes completely limp. You never expected to see this fearful side from the legendary Diablos. You've never fought Claire, but you have a feeling you don't want to see her when she's decided to hurt someone. You get the feeling you'd feel even less comfortable around Claire than you already do. You avert your eyes and look at the ground, eager to not think too deeply on the possibility of ever earning Claire's ire. As if she was reading your mind, Claire lowers herself so she can meet your line of sight."Do we not look good together, Captain? I am sure I felt your burning gaze upon me yesterday. Is red my color? Blood red? Or perhaps," Claire puts a hand to her mouth, "You prefer smaller, slender girls."You don't really--"I'm so sorry..." Claire falls to the ground, covering her chest with her arms, "I'm sorry for being too plump. I shall go on a diet. I will reduce my daily allotment by one thousand calories."You're pretty sure that even if she goes on a diet, there's no getting rid of her curves."...so you have noticed."Crap. Change the subject.>You should really go back and tend to the children.>Shouldn't Claire be at the party properly? Chief is probably waiting.>Did Hawkeye ever calm down?
>>31192273>You should really go back and tend to the children.
>>31192084If we ruin their innocence, they're going to grow up to be Claires. We don't need a dozen more Claires running around. Or worse, a bunch of little Fallen Angels. >>31192273>Shouldn't Claire be at the party properly? Chief is probably waiting.>Ask Claire if she knows why Chief is so hot for Hawkeye
>>31192273I don't really care about the kids or Hawkeye, and we know why Claire is here and not there. Ask about Xenos instead. Did they actually get to come to the party? How are they doing? How are the UGN agents reacting to them?
>>31192273>Shouldn't Claire be at the party properly? Chief is probably waiting.Anything to put off dealing with the kids.
>>31192273>Shouldn't Claire be at the party properly? Chief is probably waiting.ABORT
>>31192310>If we ruin their innocence, they're going to grow up to be Claires.But we'll have finished our probation by then!It'll be SOMEONE ELSE'S PROBLEM!
>>31192310>a bunch of little Fallen AngelsThat would be hilarious and you know it. A bunch of superpowered chuunibyous doing field ops for the UGN and convincing every Illegal that they're actually a legion of dark wizards fighting against the army of the moon god. The UGN wouldn't be any less crazy than they are now, but they would be a lot more fun.
>>31192273>Did Hawkeye ever calm down?
>>31192273>>31192312Yes, how are things with Xenos?
>>31192273>You really should go back and tend to the children.We convince Claire this is a test of her child rearing skills and then ditch her with the wee ones.
>>31192312Oh, right, Xenos. We should ditch the kids with Claire and Seven and see if they got their food. Weaver and them seem cooler than Hawkeye's entourage anyway.
>>31192361The way I was thinking of it, these kids are anywhere from like 5-12-ish. We're on probation for what? 4 more years? Some of those older kids could easily grow up to be our worthless chuuni subordinates. Also, there's better ways to piss off Hawkeye. We're actually quite good at it, considering how much he dislikes us.>>31192370I want this, but I must refuse.I just realized that actually having superpowers totally defeats the point of being chuuni. Fallen Angel just got much, much funnier to me.
>>31192490>subordinatesWe are not working for the UGN. Ever.
>>31192552If we get the offer of starting out as Chief's boss I'm voting for it.
>>31192552We already are, anon. We're just not on the official payroll or putting working time towards a retirement package.
>>31192601We're a consultant at best. Once our contract expires, we bounce and probably never talk to The Chief again.
>>31192552I haven't made an actual decision as to if I want us to join or not.As it is, we basically work for them anyway until our probation is up. On one hand, we have no pull over them, and on the other, when push comes to shove, we don't really work for them. Kind of like how Hawkeye wanted us to do stuff and we told him to fuck off because we're not UGN.I mean, sure they're a huge pain in the ass, but it's been strongly implied that Captain does enjoy interacting with them on some level.
>>31192273Putting all this aside, shouldn't Claire be at the party? You know that Chief and Hawkeye put together the whole things so that members of the UGN could come and interact with each other without there being some kind of crisis or work related issue. Claire might not be interested in that either, but she should still attend so all their hard work doesn't go to waste. You decide not to mention how you'd just like her out of your hair for a few hours."...Yes, you're right. It was very dull at the party without you. Those disgusting men were flirting with me, and it made me uncomfortable. I wanted to see you to wash their residue off of me."That would have been sweet had she not insulted all those poor guys. Apologize to your fellow UGN staff, Claire! "Would you like to go back to the party in my place, Captain? I am sure Chief wouldn't mind if you stepped out to see the main event for yourself."You're not really sure you're interested. Besides, doesn't someone have to watch these kids? "I shall take care of it. Allow me to show you my motherly side, darling. I am sure that my stock will rise when you witness my child-rearing skills."You seriously doubt that...>Go to the party.>Stick around here.
>>31192654We might be able to get away with never talking to the Chief again (I doubt it), but we will never, ever escape from Claire.Not that we actually want to.
>>31192670>Stick around here.Fuck the party.
>>31192670>Stick around here.
>>31192670Stick around invite Claire to as well
>>31192670>Stick around here.Fuck Captain Birdseye.We're not giving him any excuses to start on the Xenos.
>>31192670>Stick around hereIf we have to hang around here, we should try to find out how the UGN handles the kids having contact with their birth parents. Are they completely cut off from their families and their parents' memories of them modified or wiped? Does the UGN find low-level employment for their parents within the organization? How does this work?
>>31192670>Stick around here.Leave Claire to watch over the children? Disaster.
>>31192670>Go to the party.If only to piss off the poofter that is Hawkeye.
>>31192670>Go to the party.Some people we kind of don't hate vs. Some shitty kids.Also, I want to go see what Xenos is doing. Looks like I'm getting outvoted. If we Stick Around Here, let's keep Claire with us and make her do most of the babysitting while we get more food.
>>31192716>piss off HawkeyeMy god you have my vote. TO THE PARTY.
>>31192713I should mention that finding out what happens to the youngsters' parents could be a clue as to what happened to ours, which is a rather important plot thread that we've conspicuously avoided following up on.
>>31192670While I would like to see how the Xenos are doing, my desire to not see Hawkeye is greater. (merely IC, OOC I am undeterred)>Stick around here.
>>31192670>Stick around here.Watching Claire scare the shit out of a pack of unruly kids? Priceless.
>>31192670>Go check on Xenos. Claire's got the kids under control, and I'm sure The Chief and Hatoful Oculus will just take turns yelling at us if we go the party. We may be human, but we didn't hurt Weaver's daughter and managed to score her some delicious meals. She can't hate hate us that much.
>>31192670>Go to the party.Mainly to fuck with Hawkeye because he's a dick. And we can steal their food.
>>31192670>Go to the party.Why not? I'm interested in seeing what the Xenos lot are up to. Plus I kinda wanna see if Hawkeye will throw a fit at us. I have no doubt that Chief convinced us to watch the kids on his orders, and I wanna see him blow a gasket when someone refuses to do as he says. Unrelated, but I failed captcha like six times, and each time was nothing but numbers. Anyone else getting a strange amount of numbers and pictures of numbers in their captchas?
>counting writingYou have surprised me.
>>31192670>>Stick around here.
>>31192794>Organize the kids to raid the adults party and make off with their vittles!I like the way you think anon. Teach 'em to fight the power young! Let's do this.
>>31192840Really? Claire showing off her child rearing skills sounds like the show of a lifetime.
>>31192836the quick reply window hasn't been working for me at all, but I prefer the numbers, haven't had any today.
>>31192853That sounds like a wonderful plan. Putting up with Chief bitching at us for hours will be worth the look on Hawkeye's face.
>>31192836You know what's great? We can totally use "Claire is much better with children than I am" as an excuse. Because it's completely true. We're a killing machine whose super power is RIP AND TEAR. Claire is a pervert, but even she knows how to tone it down.Also, I was under the impression that captchas change depending on your post frequency/number of times you successfully answer captchas. I've posted several times in this thread, and this is only the second post with a regular captcha.>>31192883I wanna see her teach them all the stuff she learned as a child. >This is how we snap a neck>Using your body is an easy way to ensnare a male target>No one will ever love you>Leave no witnesses
>>31192960Dude, if you're having trouble posting just keep refreshing the captcha until you get something legible. And use quick posting.
Okay, NOW I'm actually writing. Got a phone call. (fuck no I'm not going to work tomorrow, boss)
>>31192997Eh? My captchas are fine. I meant that I started out with the weird captchas made from composite pictures of numbers, and after a few successful entries, they changed into the standard black and white squiggly letters. >>31193022Remind them that you don't work for the UGN.
>>31193054You want to let the kids know that they won't get in nearly as much trouble as usual for messing with Captain? Why?
>>31193106By now, Cap must've killed Claire at least fifteen times just for being annoying. It might not be official trouble, but I can't imagine it's terribly pleasant.
>>31193022You decide to stick around here for the time being. You're more than a little interested in what Claire believes motherly, child-rearing skills to actually be, and you're not that keen on seeing Hawkeye anytime soon."Splendid. It will be an evening with just the two of us. Allow me to show you the fruits of my labor, Captain. I will convince you that my dream of being a wife and mother is not just an idle fantasy, but a goal that I will make real with my own two hands."You're not sure that being a housewife is a goal that requires much in the way of determination, skill, and practice, but then again, Claire has a way of overthinking even the simplest of concepts. Claire gives you a small nod and heads over to the table of children. Her monotone, flat voice gives them gentle reminders to be on their best behavior, how they should respect you as their elder, and how she's there to help them with anything they might need. The table promptly ignores her, with a few even laughing to her face. Unperturbed, Claire sits down and repeatedly attempts to join in their conversations. She often offers sound, reasonable advice, a broad knowledge on topics, and offers to cut the food of the younger children. Her efforts are met with several fistfuls of food to the face and more derision. You decide that you could help her out a bit and set your plate down.
>>31193238"Uh oh, here comes her boyfriend. We're so scared."The leader of the pack picks up his fork and tosses it your direction. There's no threat from a normal toss like that, and you're so used to fighting at this point that you don't even bother to dodge. Before it can even fly a few inches from the child's hand, you hear a loud bang. The fork is knocked aside and you see Claire, now smeared with gravy and bits of vegetables, rise from her seat at the table. In her hand is a smoking gun, and her eyes gleam with a sinister light."...I see that Hawkeye's progressive policies are severely lacking in discipline. If you will allow it, Captain, I will give them a taste of the original Children's Unit.">Take care of it yourself.>Let Claire handle it.>Try to calm her down.
>>31193254>Try to calm her down.Geez Claire.
>>31193254>Take care of it yourself.
>>31193254>Let Claire handle it.Nothing teaches kids manners like a little fear.
>>31193254>>Let Claire handle it.
>>31193254>Let Claire handle it.
>>31193254That's my Claire (that feeling of smug pride)!>Take care of it yourself.How I have no idea, but this is the only way to prevt us getting blamed for murder.
>>31193254...jesus, so tempting.I mean, they're Overed. We -can- kill them without much in the way of consequences. Eeegh...Ah fuck it. >Let Claire handle it.
>>31193254>Try to calm her down.whoa dude cmon they're just kids
>>31193254>Let Claire handle itNow this I have to see
>>31193254>>Try to calm her down.tell her they only do this because it's the few times their parents aren't there to nag them to boredom.then proceed with the food fight.
>>31193254>Take care of it yourself. I'm sure Claire can be wonderfully disciplinarian, but there's nothing with quite the same impact as turning into a werewolf and ripping out a kid's spine with your teeth.
>>31193254>Let Claire handle it.We can't shame Claire with the implication she isn't up to the job, but someone has to discipline the kids.I say we leave her at it.She's been doing good so far.
>>31193254>Try to calm her down.
>>31193254>Let Claire handle itThis'll be funny and instructive.
>>31193254While my first response would be to tell Claire to calm the fuck down, someone's probably going to investigate a gunshot at the kid's table, and really, it would be best for us if they found Claire 'taking charge', at least then it's not our fault.
>>31193254>Take care of it yourselfAn eye for an eye, a stain for a stain. Flip the table on 'em, declare "FOOD FIGHT" and abuse powers like a bastard.This is supposed to be a party, dammit!
>>31193254>>31193329Oh, and that was a >Let Claire handle it.
>>31193254>Take care of it yourselfClaire is a UGN member. She can't threaten children with a gun. We on the other hand, are a dangerous rogue Overed with a set of powers perfect for frightening children. And frankly, I don't like seeing those little brats be rude to her when she makes an honest effort. Also, can we talk to her about Children's Unit sometime? Seems like they did a number on her.
>>31193329Eh, I'm pretty sure they won't notice.
>>31193254Wait, could we chose to use our Roar to calm everyone the fuck down and turn the kiddies into our willing minions for the rest of the night? Because I want to run covert ops against Hawkeye to ruin his evening.
Time to count.
>>31193420Wait, even if it's too late could you please answer >>31193399?
>>31193444Captain wouldn't do that.
>>31193456Unfortunate, I still want to know if we can use that ability outside of combat since it looks like a lazy way to win in certain diplomatic situations.
>Take care of it yourself.>>31193270>>31193284>>31193303>>31193310>>31193332>>31193354>>31193352>Let Claire handle it.>>31193274>>31193278>>31193282>>31193286>>31193295>>31193302>>31193305>>31193325>>31193351>Try to calm her down.>>31193265>>31193289>>31193300>>31193321Answering question>>31193399>>31193444They would probably not choose to follow you after you instilled primal fear in them.
>>31193474We can only do that ability once per arc, so why would you want to waste it on a bunch of kids?
>>31193477welp there goes their first trauma.
>>31193477So much for fear being a primary motivator. Can we at least get a bag of popcorn to watch the show with?
>>31193495You could still traumatize them.They'd just want to run the fuck away instead of being loyal minions.
>>31193491We have other abilities, plenty of combat partners in the area and it feels like this arc is going to end fairly soon. It would be entertaining, would require the least amount of effort on our part and would guarantee that we were never asked to baby sit again.
>>31193541I'm going to vote against. There's threatening, and then there's gut-wrenching, psyche-damaging primal fear. We make full Overeds piss their pants with our Howl. It's not appropriate for this situation. We want to scare them, not traumatize them.
>>31193541completely out of character and a waste of a useful skill.
>>31193579Point one: I really don't care about the kids that much.Point two: The votes been held, my suggestion was shot down ten minutes ago and we've moved on.Still, it's nice to know you're a better, more humane person than me. That's nice. Gives me more hope for the species etc etc.
>>31193477...You don't think it's your place to tell Claire how to raise children. Especially Overed children."Thank you, Captain," Claire fires a shot at the feet of the red-head that has been throwing food all night. The boy practically jumps out of his seat and stumbles backwards. Claire fires another shot."As of this moment, I am suspending regular operational procedure. You are all under the original Children's Unit directive. This means no speaking unless given permission, no eating without given permission, no movement without given permission, no urination or bowel movements without given permission, and no use of powers without explicit, written permission. You in particular," Claire motions to the child in her sights,"Have been found especially wanting. I shall rectify your conduct immediately. Until the evening ends, you are not to speak, not to look anyone in the eye, and not to leave your seat. You will eat precisely 430 calories of food, with red meat being your first priority.""Y-you can't do this. Hawkeye will--"Claire fires again, with the bullet landing between the child's legs."When given permission, you will address your Chief as Chief Sniper Hawkeye. You will address me as Senior Agent Speeding Bullets. You, however, have not been given permission to speak. Get in your seat and eat, or shall I test your healing factor? I sincerely doubt you are an Exile or a Chimera."
>>31193741The boy merely nods and goes back to eating slowly at his place. Claire sweeps her weapon across the table."This goes for the rest of you. I do not know how Hawkeye runs his Children's Unit, but I shall be clear. You live because we deemed there to be something human left inside you. You will refrain from betraying our trust with your erratic, wild behavior."The table goes fully silent, and each of the children begins eating immediately. You can see a few choking back some silent sobs along with their dinner, but you hear no more complaints. "...Good. I believe all they needed was a reminder of their situation. Did I do well, Captain?">...Yeah.>That was insane.>Was every day like that for you?
>>31193751>Was every day like that for you?
>>31193751>>Was every day like that for you?Backstory!
>>31193751>Was every day like that for you?>...Yeah. Hey. She tried being nice. They continued being little shits. I approve.
>>31193751>...Yeah.>Was every day like that for you?Jesus christ. And she's the most well-adjusted one out of the whole lot, isn't she?
>>31193751>...Yeah.Gotta give credit where it's due.
>>31193751>>Was every day like that for you?
>>31193751>Was every day like that for you?Goodness fucking gracious.
Yeah, so I don't see this lead being surmountable in any way.I'm just going to start writing preemptively.
>>31193892Was it like this every day for Claire? You can't imagine growing up in that kind of environment."No, it was nothing like this."Oh, that's good to hear."We were kept isolated for most of our lives. The UGN wanted to help us, but they still did not know what to expect out of young Overed, those who had been infected or been simply born with the Renegade already active. They were afraid of us, and we were afraid of them. Many times, we would not see another human for months. There was only the white cell, what few possessions we had been given, and the voices over the speakers telling us where to go. The only time we were allowed to see each other was when we were assembled for a joint mission."Wait, they sent kids this young out to go fight? Were they insane? You know the UGN isn't always the philanthropic organization it claims to be, but using children as soldiers is too far beyond the pale."Yes. That was the true form of the Children's Unit. Those Renegade children deemed powerful and stable enough to handle missions were given priority over other UGN Overed. We were more intimate with our powers, more able to learn quickly, and the Renegade develops more quickly in children. And, of course, we were all orphans. The original Children's Unit did not accept any children except those who had no family of their own. Hawkeye seems to be attempting some form of integration but," Claire shakes her head,"I worry that as much good as it does, he is exposing them to things they are not ready for. I cannot remember speaking to a human being face-to-face until I was thirteen, and yet here they are, free to destabilize each other..."
>>31194068Claire stops and shakes her head."Forgive me. I was rambling about something unimportant just now. With the room under control, would you like me to fetch you something sweet? I must confess, I made you a simple dessert if you're interested. Or perhaps we can simply go to the main dining area together. I doubt the Children's Unit will be causing any more trouble.">What did Claire make?>Let's head to the main event.>...You're not sure you can just hear all that and walk away.
>>31194068>There are people in this thread who ACTUALLY want to join UGN>>31194083>Let's head to the main event.
>>31194083>>...You're not sure you can just hear all that and walk away.
>>31194083>>Let's head to the main event.
>>31194083>What did Claire make?I must know.
>>31194083>Let's head to the main event.
>>31194083>What did Claire make?I want to know too.
>>31194083>...You're not sure you can just hear all that and walk away.
>>31194083>...You're not sure you can just hear all that and walk away.Jesus fucking christ.
>>31194083>What did Claire make?>...You're not sure you can just hear all that and walk away.
>>31194083>...You're not sure you can just hear all that and walk away.Look, I know we're incredibly far in denial, but could we crack our insensitive shell for just one second and empathize with her? I mean holy shit, that back story.I'd settle for a "Claire, that's horrible and I'm sorry it happened." Let's show a tiny bit of humanity for once.
holy fuck guys that came out worse than I thought it would. gonna inject some undiluted moe into this to balance that out
>>31194174I'm inclined to agree, Claire will just further husbando Captain though. Also, I want that child invasion idea started.
Let's count this up. I promise I'm going to lighten this mood up by 40,000 lumens.
>>31194204What the hell are you talking about OP? That came out perfect. It needed to be a jarring change from her usual personality to pack the right punch, and I think the fact that it reads better in her flat monotone than any of her previous dialogue ands a lot of weight to it. I mean yeah it heavy, but it's exactly what you need here, an interruption from the comedy.
>>31194262Except he doesn't want to pack a punch or interrupt the comedy.Double Cross is a gag manga, after all. Nothing serious should ever happen, and if the players happen to vote for serious things to happen, they're wrong.
>>31194204It did exactly what it was supposed to do, I think. The Captain has gradually been coming to like Claire but due to a variety of reasons he needs an extraordinary excuse to display any sort of sympathy or affection for her. This counts.Plus it's funnier for her to ruin things when Captain's trying to have a genuinely tender moment.
>>31194293For gags to stay fun, there has to be a counterpoint.
>>31194293Quests can be, and the good ones often are, better than their source material.
>>31194375I believe he was referring to the quest, not the actual Double Cross RPG itself.The RPG is pretty fucking dark, after all.
>>31194260You're not sure you can just walk away. Not after hearing all of that. It's not like you're really touched by that backstory, you've heard stories like this a thousand times in stupid dramas and comic books. Boo hoo, so some superpowered freak kids had to stay in time out a lot. It's not a big deal. Claire's not exactly your favorite person in the world either, so whatever traumas she may have experienced growing up are not your problem. She'll just have to live with whatever mental and emotional scars that come with being a child soldier infected with a sanity-robbing supervirus. It's no skin off your nose. But still, there's this nagging feeling you're getting. You know you really shouldn't. You know you should just give her a nod and walk away. But something within you is compelling you. An emotion you're not proud to admit that you're feeling. Before you can stop yourself, you feel the words tumbling out of your mouth.Is Claire okay? Is there something you can do to, you don't know, help?Claire looks to the side, and then proceeds to wipe herself clean of the food she had been splattered with earlier. She steps in close, not taking her eyes off yours. "Yes, Captain," Claire begins to inch towards you, each movement she makes and each word she speaks has her grow more flushed and her breathing becomes uncomfortably heavy, "Let me take care of you. Let me worry about you. Let me be with you. Tell me I'm good. Tell me you like me. Touch me. Hold me. Kiss me."You look away, desperate to find something else to focus on. Some part of you would like to indulge Claire, but that's sort of...
>>31194592"Ha ha ha! I've found you, Cerberus!"You thank your lucky stars. You immediately turn around and approach the familiar voice. You can't really tell Fallen Angel's normal clothes apart from her fancy ones, but you can only assume that this outfit is supposed to be particularly audacious. Behind her, you see Rin popping out occasionally to take a peek."H-hello, sir. T-the Chief sent us to check on you. Are you doing f-fine?">Yes, and you would very much like to leave this room.>No, this was a big mess.>These two seem to be sticking together these days...
>>31194603>No, this was a big mess.
>>31194603>These two seem to be sticking together these days...
>>31194603>>Yes, and you would very much like to leave this room.
>>31194603>Yes, and you would very much like to leave this room.OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT NOW, CLAIRE.
>>31194603>These two seem to be sticking together these days...Yes, I admit it, I'm shamelessly trying to see if by standing still Captain can slowly draw the entire party to him.
>>31194603>These two seem to be sticking together these days...We REALLY SHOULD try and save Rin.She doesn't deserve this.
>>31194603>>No, this was a big mess.
>>31194603Look. All the other choices than the two sticking together are sup-optimal. We learn jack shit and we just get caught up in a situation with no info.Just take all the info options we can get.Also, no party for us. Fuck Hawkeye.>>31194666And what this guy said. This organization is shit. Best option available but not the best one possible.Do not work with his fucking corrupt organization.
>>31194603>>Yes, and you would very much like to leave this room.Yay! We interacted with Claire like a human being instead of in our usual assholish way! Granted, we were so fucking not ready for her reaction, but we still tried. It was such a success that we should leave this room and get far away from her before she jumps us and scars those kids for life.
>>31194603>These two seem to be sticking together these days...Welp.
Let's count this up. To those who liked the heavy, that's cool. To those who didn't like the heavy, we're now out of the heavy.
>Yes, and you would very much like to leave this room.>>31194646>>31194657>>31194696>No, this was a big mess.>>31194617>>31194630>>31194678>>31194692>These two seem to be sticking together these days...>>31194645>>31194656>>31194658>>31194666>>31194685>>31194714Writing now. Don't be afraid to chatter while I'm doing this. Makes this place feel more alive.
>>31194798Alright.New DXQ smut when?
You know, originally I was all for trying to save Rin from her horrible fate, but right now, hanging out with Fallen Angel just sounds fun. That might be the juxtaposition talking though.
>>31194798...I started thinking of Rin and Falllen Angle as Team Rocket, and ended up with Claire as Jessie, Chief as James and Captain as Meouth.I should really go to bed.Oh god, now my mind is casting you're characters in Scooby Doo...
>>31194837>Saving RinRemember, she was on board with Claire's plan to tie her up and let Captain ravage her. Not so sure saving is what she needs.
>>31194837You seem to be implying that Rin isn't a closet masochist who enjoys being dragged around and run roughshod over by a dominating personality like Fallen Angel's.
>>31194853Ha, Captain as the Lazy instead of scared Scooby.>Would you do it for a beefy snack?>Uh-uh.>Two beefy snacks and a Speedy snack?>Just give me the steaks.
>>31194876>>31194882Yeah, we NOW it looks that way, but you can't say you didn't feel a little bad at first.
>>31194925Of course. And then we got to know her better.
Who do we think the girl the UGN erased from our memories when they rewrote our childhood was? I think most of the evidence indicates Claire, but I've seen several people saying it was the Chief in previous threads.
>>31194992Hopefully it's someone we haven't been introduced to yet.
>>31194992It was our imouto.
>>31194992Most people think it's Claire, but she did say " I cannot remember speaking to a human being face-to-face until I was thirteen". Of course, her memory may have been wiped, too. Or the memories are completely artificial.
>>31194798These two seem to be sticking together these days. You heard something about some kind of mentorship but...Fallen Angel sticks out her chest proudly, as if it needed more emphasis, and laughs. She pushes Rin out from behind her back, and you're taken aback. Rin usually dresses in drab, uninspired clothing. This however...You can't find a single thing that isn't frilled."Behold the other half of my team. Magical Girl Righteous Devil!"Magical...girl?"That's right," Fallen Angel leads you out into the hallway before continuing her thought, "The two of us form the magical duo, Pretty Purgatory, or Prepur for short. We use our magical powers, granted to us through the dark miracle of the Renegade, to save the commoners from evil!"Rin's face is burning red, and she looks down, "B-but we're mostly just doing things like saving cats from trees...""What kind of foul demon would leave a defenseless cat in a tree, Devil? We must save them as only we can!""Do we have to pose every time?""Absolutely!"Rin goes back to staring at her feet as you move along back into the main ballroom. The crowd here is huge. There must be over a hundred people here, and they're all Overed at that. In the corner, you can see Weaver and her daughters all picking away at a side of beef. They give you a small wave as you enter. Otherwise, everyone here seems to be awkwardly talking past each other, or worse, hugging the walls and refusing to engage. You can even see Lunatic High and Shining Void sitting at their own table, apparently angry about something. >Go see Weaver and her clan.>See what Lunatic and Void are up to.>Grab some punch and try to avoid the host.
>>31195049>>Grab some punch and try to avoid the host.
>>31195049>Go see Weaver and her clan.
>>31195049>Go see Weaver and her clan.This can't possibly go wrong.
>>31195049>Grab some punch and try to avoid the host.
>>31195049>See what Lunatic and Void are up to.THEY ARE ANGRYANGRY ABOUT ELVES
>>31195083>ANGRY ABOUT ELVESThe elven folk are in the next arc.
>>31195106Good. Let's kill them.
>>31195049>everyone here seems to be awkwardly talking past each other, or worse, hugging the walls and refusing to engageOh no, it's a room full of Captains!Aw, I wanna check in on the Xenos, but I also want to see what Luna and Void are mad about (hoping it's Hawkeye or Chief related). I could go for either, or both.>Go see Weaver and her clan.>See what Lunatic and Void are up to.
>>31195049>See what Lunatic and Void are up to.
>>31195049>>Go see Weaver and her clan.
>>31195106WELP.FAIR FOLK. NO SOCIALIZING, KILL THE KNIFE EARS
>>31195036That's obviously not true; if she hadn't had some form of human contact in infancy/early childhood she'd have developed a suite of developmental and personality disorders that would make her blunted affect and poor grasp of boundaries seem perfectly adjusted. She was either being hyperbolic for rhetorical effect or her own memories have been tampered with. Or both.>>31195049>Go see Weaver and her clan.Anything about the world of the Renegade that we can learn that isn't filtered through the UGN's censors first is an asset. Knowledge is power and power is an excuse to slack off.
>>31195049>See what Lunatic and Void are up to.You've got me curious now. We need to know what pisses them that much.So we can weaponize it to get them to leave us alone!
>>31195049>>See what Lunatic and Void are up to.
>>31195049>>See what Lunatic and Void are up to
Calling it here. Let's count the votes.>>31195129Everybody censors and alters the information! The UGN just does it so you *won't* go crazy~
>>31195184I figured we'd get some kind of spin from everyone. It'd probably be a bad idea to go chasing after Fallen Hearts information sources, even ignoring the whole bit where they'd try to kill or kidnap us, because any indulgences from them would probably be calculated to slowly drive us crazy. I don't see that we're at much risk of that from Xenos, though, mainly because I can't really see them caring enough about driving us crazy to make the effort. At worst, it'll slowly drive us crazy by accident rather than by design.Right?
>>31195210Divulgences, not indulgences. What on earth?
>Go see Weaver and her clan.>>31195068>>31195064>>31195110>>31195117>>31195129>>31195115>See what Lunatic and Void are up to.>>31195083>>31195116>>31195115>>31195159>>31195171>>31195181>Grab some punch and try to avoid the host.>>31195055>>31195072>>31195128>>31195142Answering question>>31195210Xenos is anti-human.
So, I'm going to try and do both to a degree before we stop for the night. Rejiggering my plans.
>>31195251So the Weaver clan is so amicable because they're hilariously incompetent and wouldn't know how to go about being an actual threat if they tried?
>>31195274That, and they can't get food this good without mugging someone for it.So, yes, because they're hilariously incompetent.
>>31195274Yes. As they poorly explained, they were expelled from the actual Xenos organization because they were uselessly weak and just using it as a meal ticket.
>>31195287>>31195288Oh Christ, I just realized. Didn't LED or someone say that the Weaver clan was 2/3 Mama Weaver and her spawn? If all the little spiderlings reproduce like that, it'll quickly get to where the UGN Zanzibar branch can't justify feeding them all. They're incompetent and probably don't know anything important. Then we'll just be dealing with the original problem again on a grander scale!Though that trick with making everything outside of the manor just vanish seems like it's pretty useful. Whichever of them was responsible for that couldn't have been completely ineffective.
>>31195354Should have killed mama instead.
>>31195251You make your way through the tables to go see the odd clan that held the castle hostage just a day prior. As you expected, every single member of Weaver's family looks completely identicle to her, down to every lock of hair. As you approach, Weaver calls out to you and offers you a seat at the table."I can't tell you how happy I am you worked out this deal for us. We haven't eaten this well in...ever! Arachne over here would like to thank you for your help in getting her sister released as well."One of the women gets up from her seat at the table and hands you a pair of gloves. They look sturdy and warm, but you're just a little concerned about how they got these on such a short notice. And...wait a minute, wasn't Aracnhe the one you captured?"Ah, yes, that was Arachne of the Mental Fog. This is Arachne of the Red Mist. That over there is Arachne of the Green Blossom, and over here is Arachne of the Steel Cloud."Are...are all of her daughters named Arachne?"Yes, of course. To tell you the truth, my name is Arachne as well, but that got confusing so I decided to call myself Mother Weaver. You know, to keep things simple."Simple. Right. You're a little curious, though, if they got kicked out of Xenos for being bad at their job, how did they trap the castle?"We're pretty weak individually, but together, we can weave an area outside of space and time. For about a day, anyway. If you had just waited, we would have totally lost! Ha ha."You decide to leave the spider clan to their business and go sit down with Lunatic High and Shining Void. As you sit down, both of them shoot you a nasty glare, but don't shoo you away. You sort of feel awkward and try to think of something to break the ice.>Ask what they're upset about.>Ask them if they brought dates>Ask them what they think of Hawkeye.
>>31195421>>Ask them what they think of Hawkeye.
>>31195421>>Ask them if they brought dates
>>31195421>Ask what they're upset about.
>>31195421>Ask them if they brought dates.Ladies~
>>31195421>Ask them if they brought dates
>>31195421>Ask them if they brought datesCap has good regen, he can probably survive this.
>>31195421>Ask them if they brought datesWE MUST.It's like prodding a Gator.Or a Stingray.
>>31195421>Ask what they're upset about.Oh my god, Void would explode.but actually>Ask what they're upset about.which will probably lead to bitching about men anyways
>>31195421>>Ask what they're upset about.
>>31195421>Ask what they're upset about.Asking about dates is out of character. Captain wouldn't give a shit. Come on guys, play the character not yourselves.
>>31195462uh, that first part was supposed to be about Void freaking out over asking if they had dates, fucked that up good.
>>31195421We know damn well Shining Void hasn't got any prospects, and Lunatic High comports herself like a hobo. A lazy hobo. Let's not draw a target on ourselves by mentioning dates with a gaggle of girls trailing us.>Ask them what they think of HawkeyeSee if we can't imitate the Chief's fauning demeanor for a moment before we drop the boom and call him a ponce.
>>31195478>play the character not yourselvesLike any of us would have the spine. Captain can say that *because* he doesn't give a shit.
Alright, I'm going to be super honest here. I am struggling to stay awake at the moment. If I do 5+ hour quests threads, I should start them earlier.Anyway, I have recorded your votes and we will pick this up tomorrow because I want to do right by this and not do something stupid because of fatigue again. Think I should archive or you think the thread will survive until tomorrow?
>>31195548Archive in case.We can always update it after.
>>31195563Archived. See you guys tomorrow.
>>31195583thanks for running.hoping we got a little bit of points towards the arachne family
>>31195548Is it tomorrow yet?
>>31198936It is, in fact, tomorrow. We will resume shortly, after I get myself a fast food breakfast, coffee, and cigarettes.
>Fucking captcha...Guys I have a crazy idea, why don't we just ask Claire to back off.
>>31199859We have. She thinks it's denial play.Which is kind of a good thing since she would end us if she ever thought Captain was seriously rejecting her.
>>31199929Just tell her we aren't ready for something right now.
I'm back and ready. How many people do we have here? (remember to sage your posts so you conserve bumps)
>>31200188>(remember to sage your posts so you conserve bumps)That's not how it works.
It's a bump limit, not a post limit. It's always been officially referred to as such. Or at least this is how it is supposed to work, like you were supposed to be able to sage with an image for a long time, but that didn't work right.
>>31200188M-my body is ready.
>>31200233From what I understand saging will still contribute to the bump limit.Also number three reporting in.
>>31200188...saging and and bump limits are almost entirely unrelated.
>>31200278Saging does not bump. It is supposed to allow you to post in a thread without affecting its bump limit (2chan works this way). During some iterations of 4chan, this actually worked. I have no idea if it does currently, but that's not important! I'm going to resume writing now.
>>31200188Red Leader, reporting in.
>>31200188I'm here, but I only brought terrible ideas with me.
>>31200322Right, so nowadays saginaw prevents a post from bumping the tread, but (and here's the relevant bit) a saged post still counts toward the thread's bump limit.Annoying, but that's how it seems to work at the moment. Anywho, I'll let you get back to writing now.
>>31200539Excellent! The hue shall flow!
>>31200329Red October Reporting in
You would have thought that Lunatic and Void might have brought somebody here, but they're just sitting here and drinking by themselves. Where are their dates? You know that they don't really shy away from relationships. Lunatic spits at you and looks away, while Void downs another glass of her drink. The UGN nurse brings out a phone and shows you the most recent message.From: JohnOn: X/XX/20XXSubject: -No Subject-TBH, you're a nice lay but going out with you is really annoying. You can go to that stupid party by yourself. Btw, I'm taking all my stuff back.Oh. Well there's plenty more fish in the sea, right?"I don't want to hear that from Mr. Popularity. Yeah, so he was only interested in my body. Yeah, so he dumped me an hour before the party. Did you come here to rub it in my face?" Void snaps her phone shut and grimaces, downing another shot of...whatever that stuff is. You didn't imagine her to be someone with relationship problems. If she's out of luck, then surely Lunatic is..."I asked five guys out and they all stood me up. When I get out of here, I'm going to tear their balls off and shove them up their ass," Lunatic punctuates her threat by popping her neck. She looks absolutely furious right now, and her normally light and fluffy silver tail now hangs lifelessly over her chair, "You best remember not to treat a lady's feelings lightly, boy. It could be the last thing you ever do."You swallow hard and wonder if you should really be sticking around here...>Try to change the subject.>Politely excuse yourself.>Tease them.
You know, Claire really tries to make us happy. She screws it up by being super autistic, but she really does try. We should do something nice for her as a way of thanking her for the effort.Then she can screw it up by being super autistic and we can go back to silently cursing the day of her birth.
>>31200681We could buy her a red ribbon. She'd like that, and so would Seven.>>31200667>Politely excuse yourself.Yeah, nah.
>>31200667>Politely excuse yourself.We should try being anywhere but right here.
>>31200667>Politely excuse yourself.
>>31200667Suggest they be each other's dates for the evening. They're good friends anyway right? No reason not to have some fun and do some dancing.
Say that at their ages they should be used to rejection, then leave.
Lunatic High is the alcoholic who doesn't wash, right? Which one is Shining Void again?
>>31200681>>31200681Maybe try explaining that porn does not accurately depict human interactions.
>>31200756Large chested forensics expert, ex-drug dealing (and synthesizing) party girl? Could be wrong...
>>31200756The bitter nurse.
>>31200756The one who provides Lunatic High with her alcohol.
>>31200772Good luck with that.
>>31200772If we could convince her of that, she'd just switch to emulating harlequin romances or something.Now that I say that, though, I'm not really seeing the downside. That sounds funny.
>>31200667>Tease themLet's see if we can escalate things to a food fight.
>>31200807She would base every future seduction attempt off of Fifty Shades. I'd really rather we avoid that.
>>31200796>>31200807Just saying it might be worth a try.
>>31200826She already tied herself and another girl up and tried to get us to play out a rape fantasy with them, man. We're well within that territory as it is.
>>31200839It wasn't really a rape fantasy with Rin, I'm pretty sure it was more of just a classic bondage scenario to try to show off.
>>31200854Whatever was going on in Rin's head, I'm >95% sure it was a rape fantasy for Claire. I'd look up the thread but I actually have to run take an exam now.
>>31200854I'm pretty sure it wasn't normal bondage, she approached her like that from the start.
>>31200869Good luck on the exam!
>>31200667Politely excuse ourself
>>31200869>>31200875>"R-right, so...After I woke up in your room, B-Bullets told me you were, um, interested in me. I told her I'd never done anything before so she made some suggestions and...I was overwhelmed. I mean, you're good looking...your fur is so nice...and nobody ever showed interest in me so I, uh, I just didn't know what to do and got scared...">As you go to open the door to your room, you hear the faint sound of whimpering from within. It's not Claire, so it must be Kadokawa. You did beat her up pretty badly back there, so she might still be sore. Slightly concerned, you open the door and step inside. What you see stuns you for a moment, and you have to take a step back.>>Kadokawa is laid out on your bed with a look of utter despair on her face. She's bound by what looks to be a single length of rope, crossing over her body in an odd diamond pattern. Her hands are tied above her head, and her ankles have been strapped together. You see the rope digging into her upper thighs and chest, and you can tell from her labored breath that they must be very tight. As soon as Kadokawa sees you, her eyes well up with tears and she begins squirming.>>"N-no...I didn't want the first time to be like this...">>Claire approaches her from the edge of your vision, hopping along the ground. Hm? Is she tied up too? How in the world did she tie herself up? Claire throws herself onto the bed and leans against Kadokawa's shoulder.>>"Don't worry. I'm sure Captain will be a gentle lover."
>>31200667Well, this is a charming conversation that you can not see turning against you in any way, shape, or form. You need to leave. Now. You get up from the table and try to excuse yourself as quietly as possible. Before you can make it two steps away from the table, you find yourself grabbed from either side. "Wild Card, what are you doing away from the children? I thought we agreed that you would be the one to watch over them!"Chief, in all her splendor, has you by the ear and is trying to pull you down to her level. Her face is flush with anger, and her mouth has already twisted into a scowl. Seems she's not very happy to see you at the moment. Not that you can blame her. "The Children's Unit is under control. Darling allowed me to show him my maternal side. Are you not happy to see Captain enjoying his free time? Or did you want him to visit you first?"Claire clings to your arm and pokes her head around to tease her Chief. She's cleaned herself up by now, and you would never have guessed she had been pelted with food just a few minutes before. "Don't even suggest such a thing, Claire! How could I be jealous when Flawless Hawkeye has been entertaining me all evening!""Is that so, Chief? It seemed to me that Hawkeye was ignoring you."Chief bites her lip and looks down, still maintaining a deathgrip on your ear. It's actually starting to hurt so if she could just let you go. Before you can say anything, you feel the glares of the two older women at the table. Their eyes seem so dark and menacing, and both of them are muttering what can only be threats under their breath.You need to get out of here. All you need is an excuse...>Feign interest in Chief's issues with Hawkeye and take the conversation elsewhere.>Feign interest in Claire's "maternal tendencies" and take the conversation elsewhere.>Feign a sudden urge to go to the restroom.
>>31200974>>Feign interest in Chief's issues with Hawkeye and take the conversation elsewhere.Gotta keep up the denial play with Claire, can't let her think we're TOO interested in her.
>>31200974>Feign interest in Claire's "maternal tendencies" and take the conversation elsewhere.
>>31200974>Feign interest in Chief's issues with Hawkeye and take the conversation elsewhere.
>>31200974>Feign interest in Chief's issues with Hawkeye and take the conversation elsewhere.Oh, hawkeye is a tremendous douche and also gay? I had no idea.like Cap can cast aspersions at other dude's sexuality. Void was justified.
>>31200932That's what happened earlier, before that she was pretty much trying to get us to rape her.>>31200974>>Feign interest in Claire's "maternal tendencies" and take the conversation elsewhere
>>31201048>That's what happened earlier, before that she was pretty much trying to get us to rape her.Before that she pistol whipped Kadokawa and said "love pet acquired." That's it.
>>31200974Could we...turn around and march Chief up to those two and explain to them that we and Claire think she's being ignored by Hawkeye and it might be nice is she could have their support and understanding rather than jump to false conclusions? Basically, can we distract Luna and Void from killing us by making Chief (and with any luck, Claire) their problem?
>>31200974>Feign a sudden urge to go to the restroom.
>>31201104Little late there.
>>31200990Seconding. Also, at some point we just need to ask the Chief to stop with all of her grandstanding.We get it, we really do. And if she could be a bit more honest with herself about her feelings and a bit more open about them around others; and if Claire could be a bit dishonest about her feelings and be less open about them around others then maybe everyone could be a bit happier and I wouldn't constantly have a headache.
>>31201113>If Chief could be a little more open about her feelings, and Clair a little less...Got a laugh from me that did.
>>31201113We could try the MLK method and just not do a damned thing until she eases up.
Yes, you are suddenly very, very interested in Chief's problems with Hawkeye. So much so that you'd like to take her to another table far away and listen to her pour her heart out over these troubles."What? Really?"Yes, really. "If, if you really want to hear about it, then I have no choice than to tell you."You lead the two girls to a table all the way across the room from the bitter women and have a seat. The moment you sit down, you are hit full force by a barrage of complaints, self-destructive comments, and general whining and crying about Hawkeye. Apparently, Chief has idolized Hawkeye since she was very young, and considers him to be the pinnacle of what it means to be a Chief in the UGN. She's tried her whole life to be more like Hawkeye, from the fancy clothes and tastes to his personal style of leadership. She never dreamed that being nice to the Renegade Beings would disgrace her so much, and while she knows it was the right thing to do, she wonders if she'd make the same choice now that she knows that Hawkeye hates her for it. "...Well, that's all there is to it. You must think I'm terribly stupid and silly now, don't you?"Honestly, you thought that before, but you're not quite sure that's the right thing to say here. You glance to Claire for some input, but she's too busy consoling Chief and running a hand up your thigh to say anything. Thanks Claire. Thanks a lot.>Don't say anything. She just needed to vent.>Take Chief's side. She didn't do anything wrong.>Insult Hawkeye.
>>31201361>Take Chief's side. She did the right thing.We want to encourage good behavior.
>>31201361>>Take Chief's side. She didn't do anything wrong.It's what you're supposed to say in situations like this, right?
>>31201361>Take Chief's side. She didn't do anything wrong.
>>31201361>Take Chief's side. She didn't do anything wrong.So far, every Renegade being we've met has been nicer and more reasonable than half the 'humans'.but we can ruin the positive atmosphere with a>Insult Hawkeye.too, can't be too magnanimous.
>>31201361>Insult HawkeyeIf she wants the asshole's respect then she must surpass him which shouldn't be that hard.
>>31201361Take Chief's side, she did nothing wrong.Remind her that all of us are in possession of extreme personality flaws by virtue of being Overed and that no one is perfect and -Claire get away from there- you shouldn't hold yourself up to te impossible standard you set for someone else when you otherwise refuse to acknowledge that person's flaws.
>>31201361>Take Chief's side. She didn't do anything wrong.the chief did nothing wrong
>>31201361>Take Chief's side. She didn't do anything wrong. (Except idolizing Hawkeye to the extent that she's been outright oblivious to the man's myriad of flaws)...Weird amount of consensus we have at the moment...
>>31201514Yeah, I'm really surprised myself.Gonna go stir the noodles and start writing.
The hilarious thing here is that Hawkeye's probably right. I fully expect the militant Xenos to crash the party because their incompetent cousins mentioned that a bunch of human overed were gathering here today. They'd probably go for the kiddies first, right?
>>31201361Oh, and if she becomes awkwardly appreciative of Cap's support, we're obviously just defending our own position from Hawkeye's bullshit, since we're the one who enacted it and got punished for it.
>>31201546They were abandoned and have had no contact with Xenos proper in quite some time, I believe.
Well, you're not too big on all these UGN politics, but it doesn't sound like the Chief did anything wrong here. Chief wipes her puffy eyes again and gives you a look of utter confusion. "But in supporting you, I placed everybody at this event at risk. Who knows what those Renegade Beings could be planning?"You really doubt that the Weaver family has anything planned except filling their stomachs and leaving as soon as possible. From what you can tell, these Renegade Beings aren't any more dangerous than the average Overed. Besides, doesn't Chief keep Dead Maid as a personal servant now? You're assuming that she doesn't do it just so she can lord over a creature disguised as a corpse."Dead Maid had nowhere to go. I felt that I could use her services, that's all."You're beginning to agree with Claire. Chief really is one of the most dishonest women you've ever met. You put a hand to your head and tell her not to worry about whatever Hawkeye thinks. You think that Chief did the right thing by helping out these Renegade Beings, Dead Maid included. Chief gives you a curious look, then puts her hands in her lap and stares at the table."I, I thank you for your support, Wild Card. Not that I needed it."
>>31201823"Just what I would expect from an ignorant illegal Overed."It's Hawkeye. You spin in your chair to look at the poofy fop. As usual, his air of utter composure and ridiculously good looks makes you sick to your stomach, but you put it aside for now. He's got some explaining to do about all this."I don't have to answer to you, Wild Card. If you must know, the reason I wanted them expelled was because there is no indicator that Renegade Beings promote remission of the Renegade. In fact, they often speed up encroachment in healthy individuals. I want no part of those living viruses."He may have his reasons, but you kind of feel that he's just being an asshole. "Is that so? If that's how you feel, why don't we settle this like gentlemen?"Gentlemen? You're not sure you ever considered yourself one. Just what would this entail?"Just a friendly competition. I will retract my statements if you win.">Accept his challenge>Decline his challenge[Vote will influence the next thread.]
>>31201839I physically can't say no to this challenge. I just know its going to be something incredibly degrading that doesn't involve the violence I've come to expect, but I can't leave that smiling jerk with his ego and air of superiority intact.>Accept his challenge.May the rest of you do the right thing and be lazy.
>>31201839>Decline his challengeThere is literally no reason to be listen to this ass.
>>31201839...well. It's Captain. Dude does not want anything to do with competition or sticking his nose into things.But it's Hawkeye. Who's an enormous asshole. And needs to be put in his place. Accept, but make sure and ask if he's going to be a shit and make up a competition that's obviously skewed in his favor, like sniping or I Spy or some shit.
>>31201839>Decline his challengeAny competition he proposes would be biased in his favor anyway.
>>31201839I have nothing to prove to you and you are entitled to your opinions...though challenging someone to a duel over THIS matter might be a sign if your own encroachment, though it's perfectly in line with your behavior since I've met you so I don't think you can go blaming the weavers.(If things are going to get competitive, let him be the one to throw the first stone/punch)
>>31201839>Decline his challengethis sin't medeival Europe, We are not honorable, and we honestly do not give a single fuck what he thinks
>>31201839>Accept his challenge
>>31201361>Take Chief's side. Look, Chief. You're not Hawkeye and you don't need to be. It's great that you think he's a good leader, but you and him are not the same person. If you want to be a great leader, stop trying to be cool. Follow your own instincts, make your own decisions, and don't accept any bullshit. You did the right thing. Even if you don't think you did, you have to pretend because a leader never makes a decision that the won't own, stand by and defend. You're a leader. He's a leader. Now tell him to quit being a pussy and that if he has a problem with your judgment call he can take it like a professional instead of a fourteen-year-old who thinks acting out makes him look more like a man.
>>31201839>Decline his challengedo not legitimize him
>>31201839>Accept.Is it just me or is Claire the only overed who is even semilikable... she's annoying sure but not an asshole.
>>31201933This is a >decline by the way
>>31201959I like most of the overed we've met, excluding Hawkeye and Diablos, naturally.
>>31201839>Decline>Why should I bother? You're an asshole and I don't have anything to prove to you. That'd be exactly like a lion having to prove to a dung-beetle that the beetle is a freaking dung-beetle.
>>31201839>Decline his challengeIt feels well out of character to accept
>>31201839Because clearly fighting is the best way to decide who is right.
>>31201839>Decline his challenge. You don't feel honored at the prospect of competing against a Sniper that can't even shoot down a naive kid's opinion.
>>31201951Wow that was ancient. What the fuck is up with my browser?
>>31201839>Decline his challenge
Calling the vote here. Tune in next time to see how this turns out!Or count the votes for yourself and ruin the surprise. I finally got everything done I wanted to in a single thread!
>>31202070So what's this other quest going to be about?
>>31202070Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!But in all seriousness it was a fun thread even if it was just getting to the good part.
I updated the archive and everything. I'll answer some questions now.>>31202134Fantasy fighting with huge monsters, magic swords, and a world I actually thought out in advance.>>31202153Thank you. This is where I wanted to get to last night, but I wasn't going to trust myself that drowsy.
>>31202173Has Captain been intentionally avoiding following up on his parents because he's afraid of what he'll find, or has he just not had the time?
>>31202251A little of column A, a little of column B, and a dash of stockpile C.
>>31202264Who is best girl and why is it Seven?
>>31202173Are we ever going to see Ayase or Yeager again?
>>31202313Claire and because she makes such a cute hair accessory.
>>31202313All of the girls are my daughters. Except Ayase.>>31202315Probably not. They've since climbed the steps to adulthood together and have no reason to leave sunny California. They'll get some cameos, though.
>>31202358How can Lunatic High get stood up when one of her powers is having supernaturally alluring fur? Shouldn't her boytoy be trying to touch fluffy tail?
>>31202550I'm pretty sure that's the only way she got anyone to agree in the first place.Once out of her immediate vicinity, they quickly came to their senses.
>>31202358While we're at it, to what extent are Overed allowed to fraternize with people outside of the UGN?
>>31202550She's really attractive, but it's purely physical attraction. Even Captain's supreme fur wouldn't keep people enthralled if they had a moment to think about it. So pretty much what this guy said >>31202697>>31202756They're allowed normal lives if they seem like they can handle themselves. They're not allowed to tell people about their secret unless that person is like a spouse or a child and they must confide in them for a tangible reason.
>>31202697Odds are the stench lingers longer than the fur's effect which makes coming to ones senses rather easy.
>>31202823Who do you want to see smut for next? I'm feeling creative all of a sudden. I was thinking Hawkeye x Hawkeye, but I'm open to suggestions as well.
>>31202928Uh...not Hawkeye? That would be gay. Someone that hasn't gotten attention yet that isn't Hawkeye.
>>31202928Luna and Void are both looking pretty disparate and seem to have sworn to make Captain suffer. That's my vote anyway.
>>31202928How about Miss Alcoholism and Señorita Narcotics?
>>31203098>>31202928Depressed drunken makeouts, and intense regret. Claire walking in and commenting on it.
>>31203277>>31203098>>31202997Don't forget that it's in universe fiction. Who wrote it this time?
>>31203277Hawkeye. To convince them hes the best choice.It ends with him upside down in a garbage can. All the older overed think he's a huge loser.
>>31203308Claire. Clearly she was listening in on our conversation with those two and wrote them a present to lift their spirits.
>>31203308Seven, to spite absolutely everyone.
>>31203349They then presented it to Captain and asked him to /explain/.
>>31203380Don't you mean:>Then they presented it to Captain and asked him why he hadn't done that for real.