Greetings elegan/tg/entry!I have come to your strange lands in search of new and exciting adventures! I have heard that /tg/ is rife with quest threads, and no one to undertake such dangerous journeys. Fear not, for I am one such bold adventurer. Merely state your request and I shall waste not a moment!I will allow you 30 minutes to deliver your requests. From these I shall take one.
>>30148554Is this a cleverly disguised meta-thread? I'm unsure.
Sir Knight, something terrible has happened! The eternal bonfire of lord Gwyn is petering to ashes! You must ring the bells of awakening and reignite the flame in the first kiln, lest we all enter the age of Darkness!
>>30148554Sir Knight! I've lost my ancestral cock ring in the gay bar! Can you pry it free of the sweaty, oily grip of those devilish butt fiends?
Catch me if you can!
Sir knight, fight fairly against an opponent who is greater than you and will not go easy on you.
>>30148554The child of an ancient green dragon has been kidnapped by the evil fairy princess! Please, save the dragon before she finishes whatever sinister plan she has for him!
>>30148554Brave Sir Knight, I have a task of great importance. You must rescue a princess, who also happens to be a bird. Tail feathers and everything.
Wheel skeletons have kidnapped my wife!To make things worse, the nefarious Pinwheel has transformed into the evil PinwheelSkeleton! His dastardly magics have begun combining various wheel skeletons into single, more aggressive Biker Skeletons!Please sir, help me and prevent the world from falling into wheel based chaos!
>>30148554Potion master quest would be nice OP
>>30148554YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE VENTURING FORTH
>>30148554Brave sir knight! I have run out of milk. Mind picking some up for me?
No quests here. The princess is safe.
>>30148593this, I hope to god that ser knight is a homophobe
>>30148554Be wary, sir knight, for there are dire rumors around these parts. They say that a giant with a hundred hands and fifty hands roams the lands, hunting down knights to slay them and take their helmets as trophies. It's been said that all but one of his heads bears a stolen helm upon it; I fear he may try to claim yours as his final trophy.
>>30148554Dear sir Knight, can you give me a job? Please?
>>30148679>Everything is wheel skeletonsTHE HORROR.
>>30148679>>30148883This is why I don't trust wheels.
Search for the lost scepter of the Bone Lord Nu'Ohmotep.
Your brother, the White Knight, drank too much and now he is challenging everyone to an honorable duel. Come and take him home before it gets out of hand.Bring enough gold to compensate,Your local innkeeper
Brave knight, you must travel to the ancient fortress of north to rescue a sleepinh princess, as a reward you can take her hand in marriage.The princess is the Lich Overlord of Shez B'zahd.
>>30148593Such fiends should not have possession of ancestral goods! They are a treasure to us all!I will retrieve your chicken crested ring from the the merry bar good Anon, and deal with these devils you speak of.I am loathe to admit it, but I appear to have left my weapons at home. If I were to encounter these butt fiends in combat, what sort of weapon would be best to deal with them? Worry not of my skill for I am quite the master of arms.
>>30149157A large black dildo and a jar of honey.
>>30149157Brave Knight, the Whip, choice weapon of the kiddyfiddler Slavers of the east, is the only appropriate weapon for this quest.
>>30149157You don't need weapons against them. You only need your wrestling skills.
>>30149157Godspeed brave warrior
>>30148554Here is your map Sir Knight! Assemble your team scattered across the realm and defeat the great evil at Hitler Skull Tower.Godspeed brave sir knight!
>>30149157A mummified horsecock.Everyone knows that Butt Fiends have damage reduction which is pierced by horsecocks.
>>30149175>>30149189>>30149240One can never be TOO prepared. I may need all of these weapons.Finally, I need a mount. I prefer riding horseback but I am capable of just about any creature that will hold a man in armor.
>>30149745I think I saw an oiled up man, built like an ox, from the deserts of the east holding up a sign "Will pay to get mounted" written on it.He is clearly the mount of choice!
>>30149745You fool! How could you miss your gigantic nigger in the stables?
>>30149745A Dickwolf.A more proud and reliable species you will not find this side of the Assbutt Peninsula.
I'd say a raptor, because they are awesome. If you can't get hold of one, an oversized chicken will most likely do too.>>30149780Huehuehue
>>30149745I have a special trained ninja horse mylord. But right now... I have problem finding it... The ninja horse is very stealthy...
>>30149745holy shit you drew it!>>30149780This
>>30149745I just now read the filename, I didn't notice that.Of course, now I must wonder why Ser Knight had those just lying around...
>>30149780What an amazing and noble steed. He insisted that I didn't need a saddle at all. Maybe not the fastest in the land, but an easy ride for sure.break time while I deal with IRL
>>30150412>>30150412So our noble knight accepts to ride individuals barebacked...
>>30151699As a sign of trust and brotherhood, is there anything more noble?
>>30150412It appears there is a thick smoke billowing from the nearby forest. I could stop and investigate, but... then again I charge by the hour. Do you suppose it's worth it to see if my aid is needed?
>>30152526Check out the smoke.
>>30152526Might be some crazy shit going down homie. Check it out.
>>30152526doo eet fagit
>>30152526Yes check it out. It could be goblin hipster who are burning down emo elf's house.
>>30152526Well, even if they don't want to hire you, you might get to salvage what's left after the fire.
Oh god this is glorious
>>30153063Search for traps.Your mount might be helpful in the effort, he seems like the type knowledgable in the area.
>>30153063Sir knight, they are not worth the time. The cock ring awaits!
>>30153063They're clearly out camping, leave them be.
>>30153063My lord, they have no idea what they're doing! Brave night, you must take them under your knightly wing as your kobold scout troop and teach them the ways of the wild!
>>30153063rassle the rat bastards, establish dominance with each and every one of them by getting on top of it and holding it in place while you menace it with your weapons
>>30153063Watch out for female kobold in heat! They are knight-bane...
>>30153340its a trap
>>30153192Indeed! A good knight always needs minions!
>>30153063Looks like they're doing fine. Let them go about their business.
>>30153563>>30153133>>30153123You're right. They're probably fine. Sometimes I am just too quixotic for my own good~Now then, how should I go about finding the particular bar of merriment in which the ancestral cock ring might be found?
>>30153670God damn it knight we voted for squires. Damn you.
>>30153670individuals similar to our mount tend to be found in that region.
>>30153670Whisper in your steed's ear. He should know the way.
>>30153725This, a sweet nothing or two whispered in the ear also does wonders
>>30153670If they are truly merry then follow the noise of merriment and the smell of festivity
>>30153722>>30153725>>30153795And with great haste he makes his way to the gay bar.
>>30154139I hope it didn't backfire too much...
>>30154139j-jesus those lips.
>>30154139>[theme music intensifies]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI
>>30154629Oh. You meant a GAY bar. Not a place of high spirits. Well too late to back out now. I stand before the neon den of carnal desires. Somewhere in its rosy semen stained depths lies the chicken crested ring I seek.How shall I proceed? Cautiously? Dildos a swinging? Perhaps diplo-haha... yeah right.
>>30154835Dildomancy. And by that, I mean wear dildos on your pauldrons and stroll in confidently.
>>30154835Throw the giant dildo inside, then sneak in while they fight over it.
>>30154867This. Be sure to yell CLEAR before tossing it in, for dramatic effect.
>>30154865oh lords this.
>>30154867Seems like the best course of action
>>30154835Oh, don't worry, mister Knight, with any luck it will by gay GAY bar.
>>30155005Then crack your whip whilst they all dogpile of it, Show yourself the great man oh Sir knight
>>30154867But first you have to label it."For the gayest"
>>30155149Seconded. The fiends will fight viciously for their prize.
>>30155796GO GO GO
>>30155796OH GOD EMPEROR! IT GLOWS!
>>30153063Holy fuck those are adorable.
>>30155796Someone is trying to get my attention! They must know where the heirloom cock ring is! But-But I can't make them out over all the orgasms and special effects!What do they look like friend?
>>30156416A member of the SS With crotchless pants
>>30156437This, but it's a very butch lesbian
>>30156463with a rainbow mohawk. and matching drapes.
>>30156495And nipple rings. Attached to the nipple rings are spiked dildoes. The spikes are menacing.
>>30156463I think you mean Dimitry's Shemale
>>30156495The mohawk has teeth like a circular saw.
>>30156437>>30156463>>30156495>>30156511>>30156522>>30156534Lo, I turned and beheld thissssss...ffffucking catastrophe of a person... It said something at me, but I didn't quite hear it because this bitch's dildos are spinning constantly. It told me the location of the cock ring!Gettin' real sick of this shit! Where's the ring?
>>30156980The Butch SS Lady informs you she will only tell you if you can best her in single combat
>>30156980Up her butt.
>>30156980>our fw>>30157042 and >>30157046the arena is in her ass.
>>30157042yes. nothing is for free.
>>30156980>filenameBrilliant. Just Brilliant.
>>30156980You were wearing the cock ring all along! It was you who sent yourself on this quest to get in touch with your gay self!
>>30157042>>30157046We have to best her in single combat by pulling it out of her ass.
>>30156980It's being worn by the biggest, bearest, most boisterous top there is in town.Big Mike, Ass Destroyer.
This fucking thread man. Bless you OP.Please tell me someone is archiving this?
>>30157042>>30157046>>30157058>>30157065>>30157087FFFFFFFFFFFuckme. Roll for combat.
Rolled 2>>301573231D2, ALL OR NOTHING
Rolled 1 + 68>>30157323
>>30157388OVERWHELMING VICTORY WHOOOO>reelasse thisare you trying to tell me something, captcha?
>>30157388Success and dubs... I think this takes it.
Rolled 2, 1, 4, 3 = 10>>30157323Roll the caltrops!
>>30157543>>30157462>>30157440>>30157424>>30157418>>30157412>>30157402>>30157388>>30157386>>30157350>>30157339We have done well, however our primary dildo has now snapped in two
>>30157740THEN WE WILL JUST HAVE TO USE THE REAL THING
>>30157896But she is a Butch Lesbian from a gaybar im pretty sure she has herpes
>>30157896>>30157934We have our hands, they can be cleansed our fist of justice must carry the day
>>30157339>>30157350>>30157386>>30157388>>30157402>>30157412>>30157424>>30157462I AIN'T GOT THE COURTESY FOR THIS SHIT!
>>30158023There was no Cockring inside her anus as we gibbed her, But inside a map, This map led us to a location of great terror.. That location is
>>30158023Loot her little hat
>>30158123The homeland of the Gaybo upon whom we rode before.There's also a Dragon on the map, but it could be a shit stain.
>>30158234>>30158156>>30158123So then it seems my quest for the family cockring continues. Such is the life of an adventurer such as I. At least I got to rip a bitch in half, and I didn't get raped. Aces.Until next time friends~Thanks for being swell guys /tg/. We'll have to do this again sometime.
>>30158784Archiving this shit
>>30158784This was gold, dude.I'M KING KONG BITCH!Best quote.
Why can't quest threads be more like this?
>>30158784Good fun, OP.
>>30158784That was great. Thanks Errant.
>>30158891>>30158907>>30158930>>30158933>>30158969Thanks fellahs. But now I've been awake 24 hours, so I shall sleep. Thanks again.