Alright, new quest time!>You're a Space Pirate. Pick a rank.>Grunt>Science team>Ridley>Fuck if I can remember all of them pick one I haven't listed
>>29425099Why would you do anything but Science team? Do you hate tubes?
>>29425221I don't know, maybe because other people who clearly aren't thinking would want something else?
>>29425099>You're a Space Pirate. Pick a rank.YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO I AM A CAPTAIN!
>>29425221>>29425254Alright, one vote for science and one vote for something else, someone tiebreaker this business.
>>29425401On it, Head of Research and Development. In space.
>>29425463(me)So in other words science team.
>>29425463ALRIGHTYou're the head of R&D for the planet Emergency Backup Zebes XVI, and everything's going swimmingly right now. The science teams aren't dead/dying/on fire, Ridley isn't breathing down your neck, and no bounty hunters in sight. What to do with all this free time?>Command some Science teams around>Go do science>Review equipment in base>TUUUBES
>>29425575Clone some Metroid specimens and commence SCIENCE on them.I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
>>29425575Let's clone our greatest enemy as many times as possible, and then splice in some Metroid and Ridley's DNA just because we can
>>29425575>Review equipment in baseInventory. It is the most important thing.
>>29425575Let's combine the power of TUUUBES with the SCIENCE of phazon! The hunter will be unable to withstand the might of the animated hate golem made of TUUUBES!
>>29425575Lets do some motherfucking science. Make tubes full of explosives, so when the hunter sneaks through 'em, she explodes herself.
>>29425739And thus project Ridly's Waifu was enacted
>>29425796You're stationed in a pretty standard base. Made of metal, science, TUUUBES, and not much else. There's a bigger base on the other side of the planet, mostly troop storage and command. Some of your science inventory includes some Metroids in "safe" containment, along with DNA of most normal species. You have never managed to get the DNA of Samus, as you haven't managed to pierce the suit without everything exploding later. You don't keep Ridley's DNA on hand anymore, after the Emergency Backup Zebes IV incident.
>>29425575Do we have any Grenchler specimens from Aether? I want to see what happens if we feed them phazon.
oh man it's happening
>>29425967The most spaghetti inducing miniboss of this whole adventure is what happens.
>>29425801>>29425809>>29426014TUBES TIMEAWW YISYou send a message down to Science Team, telling them to stop sitting on their claws and get to work on trapped tubes to explode any enemies that wander in also maybe incorporate some Phazon research into it or something? Should weed out the idiots who go into trapped tubes.>Hot dog more options?>Go science something personally>Call up your boss>Go gather wildlife or something, I don't know
>>29426067Fuck you grapple guardianI love grapple, and I love grapplingbut you were the goddamn worstalmost as bad as Chykkabut everyone knows the best boss was MOTHERFUCKING QUADRAXIS
>>29426160Lets mutate some wildlife to make the tubes moar better.
>>29426160>Redesign doors so they require keycards to unlock instead of bullets
>>29426250That's dumb. You should graft weapons to your arms or something else.
>>29426324Fine then!>Redesign doors so they open only when hit with Space Pirate bullets
>>29426324nowaitwhat ifguyslistenguyswhat ifare you listeningwhat ifwe take the phazonand put into a tubular gunand shoot it at the hunter>>29426357>the hunter arrives>acquires the pirate beam>steals all my songs on her way out instead of buying them all on iTunes to support the artistDon't look at me like that, SCIENCE doesn't pay the bills.
>>29426397Why don't we take Metroids and mix them with X-parasites and then combine all that with Ridley's DNA?And then pour Phazon on it?
>>29426397And that's why my first idea was keycards.
I am just watching and thinking "This is exactly what science team does in Metroid." I'll write something when you come to a consensus or I get bored.
>>29426160>tranquilize some Cazadores>bring them to the lab>add phazon
>>29426446What if we ate Metroids?
>>29426528Nononononono. We've fucked around long enough adding Phazon to random wildlife. It's time to add Phazon TO SPACE PIRATES!
>>29426554What is the Omega Pirate.I'll take Potent Potables for 800, Alex.
>>29426567Have we tried adding Phazon AND Metroid DNA?
>>29426621Phazon Metroids, also the Metroid Prime.
>>29426659No, I mean adding Phazon and Metroid DNA to Space Pirates.
>>29426692I don't think we have.But we totally should.
>>29426733You know what, why don't we stick some of Ridley's DNA in there too?
Inspiration has struck. I am now working on Space Pirate Fortress the table top game
DING DING TIME'S UPI'm counting... votes mostly going to putting DNA and Phazon into Space pirates. Gimme a sec to write.>>29426948Send me a copy, and don't bother statting Samus. Assume she wins.
>>29426765Don't we still have some historical relics from the Chozo ruins? Maybe we can scrape some Chozo DNA off of those. I hear it's what gives the Hunter her powers.
>>29426948Wargame, or RPG?
>>29426982Oh shit yes we must do this immediately.
>>29426973As you know, Ridley DNA isn't stored anywhere but the big boss himself and his personal cloning vats, none of which are near. You DO get Science team to start mixin' and matchin' some DNA and phazon, though.]The first trap tube is done! You should probably choose somewhere to install it.Your science team has invited you down for a game of Science Routlette-Bingo. Care to join?
>>29427105Install it in a passageway that leads to where we keep all out energy tank thingies. Everyone knows the Hunter loves energy tank thingies.
>>29427105>>29427160Oh, and of course we're down for Science Roulette Bingo. I think regs state that we go down to medical immediately to be scanned for brain injury if we ever don't want to do some Science Roulette Bingo, actually.
>>29427160No, see, we have to put an energy tank in the passageway, but don't put out a trap. She's smart, she'll expect a trap, so if we do it enough times, we'll lull her into a false sense of security.It's the perfect plan.
>>29426973>>29426988What I have so far: THE HUNTER IS COMINGBUILD A BASE TO STOP HERUSE TUBESUSE PHAZON ON LOCAL WILDLIFE. AND NOT SO LOCAL WILDLIFERIDLEY'S A DICK WHO WANTS THINGS DONE AND QUICKDNA!THE HUNTER ALWAYS WINS! BUT IT'S HILARIOUS AND MAYBE A PLANET BLOWS UP! As for specific mechanics, get a shit load of index cards. Write room descriptions until randomly determining when Samus shows up. One person or everyone in sequence decides how Samus wrecks shit. Random events could include Ridley DEMANDING something be done, Space Pirates having to try that, etc.
>>29427201I think all of the previous bases she's wiped out have done a pretty good job of luring her into a false sense of security already.
>>29427224If I tell you the rules to Science Routlette-Bingo, you have to factor those in too.
>>29427233That's how you know it's working.
>>29427277Yes, and now it is time to SPRING THE TRAP.
>>29427290I don't have a trap. I thought that was your job.
>>29427271Alright, the Rules of SCIENCE ROUTLETTE-BINGOFirst, get THREE HATS [Not Metroids]Then, each person creates a sentence that falls into the pattern of "Do something to _______ with __________"The "Do something" bit can be anything from "Make _______ a _____", to "Do lines of ________ off of ________" to "Pit ______ against _________ in a cage match"The _______'s are NOUNS.Put each part into a HAT, then draw one out of each HAT. Everyone has to do the sentence, NO MATTER THE COST.
>>29427390So, uh, who writes out the phrases for SCIENCE ROULETTE-BINGO?
>>29427419The people playing, who are you! (I also wrote out five)
>>29427390>three hats>no metroidsFUCKING BULLSHIT CLEARLY YOU HATE FUN
>>29427378We have the TUUUUUBE that explodes when someone passes through it. And soon we'll have TUUUUUUBES that explode, just as soom as the production line is set up.
>>29427390Added. I'm at work so I can't do a full write up of the game, but if I'm not lazy I'll type it up and give it a thread tomorrow
>>29427471ok ok one can be metroid
So, for the record, how many of you just came from AGDQ?
>>29427488AGDQ?>>29427481Aw yiss, I'm totally getting laid tonight. That Metroid wrangler totally wants my dick
>>29427519Awesome Games Done Quick on Twitch. They just had a 4 way race between the best of the best, and the finish was AT MOST 1 second difference in time.
>>29427557I should probably say that it was Super Metroid that was raced in 45 minutes.
>>29427578did they say that this thread existed?
The trap is set! Once the hunter goes for the energy tank storage, she will be EXPLODED out of the tube and she won't be able to get back probably. Science Routlette-Bingo still needs sentences, at least one.
>>29427653Unless you need a clearer explanation of Science Routlette-Bingo, you should think of something, or continue regular science.
>>29427862INJECT METROIDS INTO OURSELVES
>>29427447Oh, good, I was worried Ridley wrote them.Jump onto THE HUNTER's HELMETTEST FIRE the PHAZON CANNONTUUUUUUUUUUBES
>>29427862Make _space_pirate_ a _metroid_.Put it in the tophat.Some sucker's gonna have to figure out how to turn a space pi-Wait. That sounds useful.
>>29427862Enhance _______ with cybernetic ______
Splice ________ and ________ together
>>29427862Make a GUN out of METROIDSInject EVERYTHING with THE HUNTERS DNA (note to self: acquire the Hunter's DNA)Make TUUUUUUBES out of PHAZONMake a SPACESHIP with METROID POWERSGive X PARASITES some METROID POWERS
>>29428016Have we injected X parasites with phazon yet?
>>29427862Use Phazon to mutate ______ into a ______
>>29428055Have we injected blue phazon with red phazon yet?
>>29428075Inject ______ into _______ until something SCIENCE happens.
>>29428055Probably. But I don't think we've given X Parasites Phazon AND Metroid DNA yet.>>29428099WE MUST GET ON THIS IMMEDIATELY.
>>29428099Why don't we do that, then inject it into a metroid, then inject THAT into an X-parasite, then inject THAT into ourself?
>>29427920Test fire is not a noun!>>29428005>>29427982>>29428075>>29428110You need nouns in the blanks!
>>29428114Actually, do we even have access to X Parasites? As far as I know, Space Pirates never encountered them in the games.
>>29428143I don't care. We are going to do SCIENCE to X Parasites, no matter what logistical difficulties confront us!
>>29428125Fine, Testfire the PHAZON CANNON at A GRUNT.Inject KRAID'S DNA into LOCAL WILDLIFE until something SCIENCE happens.
>>29428143They didn't, and I'm stopping it here. Three people roll a D12 and I'll pick the right number from the text document. 1-5 I wrote, 6-12 you guys did.
>>29428125Whoops, will do.>>29427982Enhance METROIDS with cybernetic JETPACKS.
Just dropping in to say that this thread has been misarchived, might want to write LL and see if you can get it fixed. I swear, some people need to get over themselves.>Captcha: contains sibuguI have no idea what sibugu is but apparently it's in here, maybe you guys should do science to it.
Rolled 8>>29428177Hoping for some good science, I'm surprised we didn't have a third roll already.
>>29428354I might get around to it.>>29428205>>29428222>>29428401Alright, this means... Inject A SPACE PIRATE into THE HUNTER'S DNA until something science happens! NEW PROJECT CONFIRMED.
>>29428465And with that, I'm calling it a night. Someone Email the guy for me, as I'm lazy.COMING UP NEXTHOW DO YOU INJECT A GUY INTO DNAWHO WILL FALL VICTIM TO THE TUBESRIDLEY TAKES THE LAST POT OF COFFEE AND DOESN'T MAKE MORE