You are a ghost, or rather one of a large gestalt of spirits once dedicated to haunting a peasant by the name of Ivan. Fortuitously, the man named Ivan had in his possession a Grimoire of incredible power, and within it was a soul binding ritual. Through the usage of dark magics Ivan has given you form on the material plane, the skeleton of a man murdered. Now you begin your true quest. To become the mightiest lich in the land/find a working wee-wee.To read the archives check here:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Obnoxious%20Ghost%20QuestQM twitter feed for those who don’t want to check QTG for updates:https://twitter.com/DickishDeadAnd a brand new character sheet for the protagonists with tentative stat lines:http://pastebin.com/eUUkwaDe
Voytek and you begin to circle around each other, skulls gleaming in the moonslight. Voytek clacks his remains teeth together.You lunge first, leading with your scabbard. You cover the space of forty feet in less than a second. Voytek attempts to counter your approach with a swipe of his paw. He misses and you strike home once more. Or you would have, had your blade not passed through the space between Voytek’s ribs.The great bear swats you with his free hand, sending you rolling across the field.->A point to me.You don’t bother responding. You hold your blade behind your waist and charge. Voytek roars and responds in kind.He’s growing larger.Not yet.You can see the holes where you stole some of his fangs.Not yet.You can see the scrapes on his bones, left by your crude defleshingNow.You leap into the air, high above Voytek’s mauling claws.You reach down with your sword and tap the skele-bear on the head.>I win.>You beat Voytek incredibly handily! What now?>Check up on mai waifu?>Mock Voytek for losing?>Other?
>>28720098Fuck I forgot my trip
Rolled 32>>28720098>>Check up on mai waifu?Its the gentleskelleton thing to do.
>>28720098Do we have a map? We could plan a course intercourse for effective gathering of ingredients to get us a wee-weeAnd maybe make our dead waifu... Not as dead
>>28720248No map as of yet. The Professor will magic one up for ya'll in the morning, when he's regained enough æther to do so
>>28720371OhMock Voytek then. After that unbearable bear of a battle I think we should
Rolled 80>>28720493Didn't we do that already twice before breakfast?There is only so many girl names to call him and manners to describe him getting violated.
>>28720519>>28720493>>28720431>>28720137It seems to be a pretty even split between a variety of options. Will start writing, but leaving voting window open.
>Damn Voytek. You got arthritis or some shit? Cause you’re moving like… an old person I guess.->This body, it is not like the one I once controlled so many centuries ago. To stomp about on all fours, it feels wrong.>Then why do it? You’re a fuckin skeleton of a bear, not a bear yourself. Its not like you need to stay on all fours to support your lardy ass any more, right?->... I did not consider this.With that, Voytek rises on his hind legs and begins toddle away.>Just come back for din-din! You shout after him.Good, now you’re finally free of that damned skele-bear for a few minutes. You wander over to the still unconscious form of Katrina. Seems like she slept through your epic bear fight. Pity the missed opportunity. The sky is beginning to brighten, the sun is nearly upon you. It’s time for nyaning zommaids to wake up. You begin to poke Katrina with a bony finger.>Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.Katrina begins to stir. You increase the tempo of your prodding.>Wake up. The dead don’t sleep.Katrina jerks up with a gasp. She blinks at you several times, before raising a hand to shield her eyes from the sun’s glare. “Who… what’s going nyon?”>Awww, forgot about old Bones already, did ya?The girl yawns and stretches, before rubbing her mouth with the back of her wrist. Without warning, her face suddenly transforms, and her once tired eyes sharpen as she shoots you a glare.“Oh. It’s you. Just the person I was hoping to nyan wake up to, the limericking nyancompoop.”>She dares to insult your limericks! How shall you respond?>Initiate verbal counter attack?>Ignore, and do something else? Please specify.>Be chivalrous! Roll d20 for OOC action>Other?
>>28720902>>Ignore, and do something else? Please specify.look a shinyget the shiny
>>28720902>>Initiate verbal counter attack?Deliver the bad news that she lost her goddess status but we'll always have a bone for her!
>>28720902>>Initiate verbal counter attack?It limerick timThe Mad undead chickWho thought she was a catwas clearly off her rockerGod damn she is also fat
>>28721113>>28721104>>28721096It seems like verbal abuse followed by an ADD attack is the way bones shall go. Writing, but will monitor thread for votes.
>There was a Mad undead chick>Who acted like a spoiled prick>And believed she was a cat>Gods damn she is also fat>To think she’s a god, she must be sickThat’ll teach her bad mouth your limericks. Seems like naptime did nothing to improve her disposition. You stand up and march towards Ivan’s tent, partially to avoid the fuming revenant, but mostly because you thought you saw something shiny in the grass. Your journey ends in bitter disappointment, however, upon discovering that the glimmer of light you saw was little more than some morning dew, and not a Ring of +3 Peenomancy. You kick at the grass, scattering the small droplets of water into the air, where they glisten one last time before splashing into the field. The weather here might be a step up, but wherever this new place is, its a damned sight less interesting than the barren tundra you came from.In the distance you see Voytek topple over once more as he attempts bipedal locomotion. Perhaps things aren’t as bad as you thought. Still! Enough sitting around and waiting! Each day you spend with your thumb up your proverbial asshole is just another day of living life sans-schlong. You decide to take the initiative and stride over to the Professor’s tent. It’s time to get some Godsdamned directions. You yank back the broadcloth flap to reveal far more of the wizened old Prof than you ever wanted to see.>Truly, I have seen Hell.The Professor sits up at your intrusion with a groan from both his mouth and bones. “So early? What are you wanting so early in this day, Comrade Skeleton?”>Listen old man. Ivan did that soul binding ritual for you. Now I want to know where the Hells we are.
With a slowness almost certainly calculated for maximum Bones irritation, the Professor stands up, the rest of his sleep roll falling away from his body.>Gyah! Fuck! You yelp in horror as you stumble clear of the old man’s tent and the eldritch horrors within.“I am thinking you will be keeping out of my tent from now on, yes?” The Professor shouts after you. Ivan pokes his own head out of his tent, his mouth yawning widely. Seems like you’ve successfully woken everyone up.You spend the rest of the morning sitting on the crest of the hill where you all made camp, attempting to cheer yourself by observing Voytek’s tipsy attempts to regain bipedalism. After several hours of this, you feel someone tap you on the shoulder.You look back to see Ivan, a pleased grin on his face. “Hoy, Bones. we figured out where we are now, and Professor Becherski even allowed me to cast the ritual.”>Really? How many casualties?Ivan merely rolls his eyes at your jibe. “C’mon, the Professor’s got a map out.”You follow Ivan back to the main camp, where the Prof does indeed have a large parchment map spread out across the grass. There is two large bodies of land marked on the map, and the Prof is pointing at both of them, one finger on the white body of land to the northern edge, and another on a green section in the middle.“Da, and are we being, in the Baereaux Fields. This is being the heartland of Merovia, southern kingdom.”>Well, seems like the Prof knows where you are, but you don’t have a single fuckin clue. What do?>Demand more information on Merovia and the Baereaux Fields?>Demand more information about the map in general?>Cut to the chase, anything good nearby?>Other questions?
>>28721778>>Cut to the chase, anything good nearby?Who cares? We just a place with hot ladies and people to possess.
>>28721778>Demand more information on Merovia and the Baereaux Fields?>Demand more information about the map in general?
>>28722123>>28721887Okay, there are two ways we can approach this anon. We can either have me write the answers in the professor's broken English, or I can do a quick and dirty little note dump, perhaps in the form of Radomil hosting another Q and A.
>>28722156Note dump, please
>>28722173Thank christ. Gimme a moment, need to organize.
>>28722188Yeah, note dump is alright.
>>28722348>>28722173Alright, I'll start off by dumping relevant info, and if you guys request more, I'll be more than happy to oblige.
1) What is Merovia and for that matter, what is Zimastranniya?Merovia and several other kingdoms all exist on a continent called Baeria, while Zimastranniya, the land you came from, rules a large island to the north east of the continent of Baeria proper. All of these separate kingdoms were once under the rule of a massive continent spanning empire a few centuries ago known as the Rittermark, or simply as the Mark, before it collapsed in a big old cataclysmic, world changing event. Merovia is essentially my not!France, and is big on knightly chivalry and stuff like that. They also have a large number of clerics and paladins, people who externalize æther through religious faith.2) Baereaux Fields?Just some rich fields in the center of Merovia. Not populated by anything too nasty, so good farming. Made Merovia into the breadbasket of the entire Continent.3) What’s around us?To the north is the Herwald, a large and dangerous forest full of magical critters that eat people. On the flip side, the beings there would have a lot of quintessence for you to harvest, as well as many of the items you need for the refleshing ritual. There are a few towns in there though, hardy settlements with hardy people, and powerful druids who keep them alive.To the west is the city Marché, the financial capital of Merovia, where all the scum of the pious kingdom congregates. Might make you rich, would lead to something more of a criminal/stopping criminal quest line.To the South is the coastline. Not too much to recommend it.To the West is the ruins of Glasoileán, once the wealthiest lordship in the old Rittermark. The kingdom was flooded by fae beasts shortly after the Mark fell, and now its a deadly land, full of nastiness and treasure from the old kingdom. In this land, its said that the boundries between this plane and the fae realm, Vymyselya, are weakest.
>>28722874Herwald sounds like a lovely place
>>28722874Where is the nearest town to rebind us at?
>>28722874Merovia is essentially my not!France, and is big on knightly chivalry and stuff like that. They also have a large number of clerics and paladinsOh boy, this can only go well for us. They'd (attemp) to kill us on sight. Unless we convince them we are a skelly-paladin
>>28722993You can rebind anywhere, in theory. In practice, you would need Ivan to do it for you, since ghosts can't do magic on the material plane.>>28722988It's very pretty in the fall.>>28723076A Skelly-din perhaps? Or a Pala-ton?
>>28722874>Marché the financial capital of Merovia>in notFrancekekLets go to Glasoileán.
>>28722988I also think Herwald is our best bet. Best stay away from civilization till we look like a limericking human bard.
>>28723112I meant, where is the nearest place we can find a body to bind to in order to get a penis.
>>28723131b-but i wanna be a tiefling
Respond to this comment with which direction you'd lie to go, voting window open for 10 minutes before I start writing, and I'll give another 5 after that for any late-comers
>>28723171Glasoileán for delicious lil fey waifus.
>>28722874Herwald seems like the first stop, then off to Glasoileán
>>28723171Find nearest small town, steal a body then get a schlong.
>>28723171Either Herwald or Glasoileán is fine with me. One for each, or a half, however you want to do it.
>>28723212Why one when we could get 7?
>>28723171Know what, let's hit Glasoileán first. Fea and old treasure sounds fun
>>28723220I think we should try to get each player a body at some point. Just to make it harder on SpiritGuided.
>>28723171Herwald, we can go on a hunting trip and make Ivan wrestle bears
>>28723263Watch yourselves, otherwise the waifu gets picrelated'ed
>>28723295Sure you chose the right pic?
>>28723295We have a waifu?
>>28723295Captcha, you traitor!>>28723327Sapphic love is lesbian love.
>>28723342You learn something new everyday about lesbians.
>>28723342Oh, then we just take a females body
>>28723340Well you have a female party member, and last thread certainly had its share of waifu jokes
You nod sagely as you close Radomil, who totally just answered all of your immediate questions, and point at the large forest to your North. >Let’s go to Herwald first, then maybe wrap around to Glasoileán… Or perhaps the other way around…Professor Becherski shakes his head violently at your suggestion. ”Nyet! Glasoileán is being a cursed land, where reality is of the twisted nature! Only the foolhardy would make of the journey to that hellscape.”>Shit. Have you even been there?“Well…. ah… nyet. But! Glasoileán is being known as a dangerous land, too much so for my old body.”>Fuckin… I thought you were at least cooler than Ivan, Prof. Shameful.->Perhaps we should just go to Herwald first, and then figure this out.>Hmph. Alright. But I swear to the Stone, we’re gonna hit up Glasoileán at some point.“Aw… I wanted to see Marché.”>No one gives a fuck what you want, Ivan.And with that you’re off! To the north and to the great Forests of Herwald, where dire beasts and creatures strange stalk the night!>Roll 1d10 for journey encounters
Rolled 7>>28723538>>Roll 1d10 for journey encountersHide one of our bones in the cargirl sleeping bag as a joke.
>>28723699>>28723679>>28723604Alright, we got a 5,2,7. Any further rolls will still be considered, but I'll start writing these three.
The five of you set off towards the North and the great forest of Herwald. You don’t actually run into anybody or anything for several days, finding the north road only a few hours after you set off from the field you appeared in. All in all, this is probably a good thing. You and Katrina may be able to hide your true undead natures with robes and armor, but Voytek has no such luxury.Three days after setting off, you meet the first person on the road. The man is heading south on a horse, heavy armor and shield leave no doubt as to his profession. He’s one of those knights you heard about from Radomil. At first he doesn’t notice your little party, however, the presence of a bear skeleton walking of its own accord will get the attention of any man. The knight gallops up to the five of you, blade drawn. As he draws closer, you can see that he’s wearing dented armor, covered in dirt. His shield also lacks a house sigil. “What manner of sorcery is this?” inquires a tinny voice.>The awesome kind, you reply, drawing your sword.“Heathens!” the knight hisses, “I’ll see you put to the stake for these dark magics!”The knight kicks his horse violently with his stirrups, causing it to rear up on its back legs, kicking out wildly. Voytek takes advantage of this opening to maul the horse’s unprotected belly. The beast unleashes a scream like a dying woman before toppling over.You hurry over to finish the knight off, but are too late, the heavily armored warrior is already rising to his feet, blade in hand.“Stinking undead filth!”>Mr. Chivalry seems right pissed. What do?>Sword!>Fist!>Inform him that such language could classify his actions as a hate crime.
Rolled 8>>28724339>>Inform him that such language could classify his actions as a hate crime.While swording him.
>>28724457alright sensitivity training by sword seems to be the winner
>You know, I think you may suffer from skele-phobia. Do alternate livingstyles really scare you that much?The knight roars and swings his heavy longword in a vertical slash. You easily dodge the blade and go on the offensive, jabbing at the knight with your sword. The knight attempts to parry your blows or intercept them with his shield, but his defenses aren’t perfect. Several of your strikes draw blood, and the knight bellows in pain.>Could it be? Are you secretly necro-curious?You dance clear of his blade once more, cackling all the while. Why does everyone but you suck so much at combat? The knight takes another few swings, each one slower than the last, before a final attempt to strike you completely off balances him, causing the man to collapse onto the ground.You walk up to the prone warrior and yank off his helmet, revealing a dirty man’s face. He scowls and spits up into your eye socket.“Abomination”>I would consider your close minded attitude far more abominable than my lack of flesh.You stab your blade deep into his throat, blood spurting everywhere >Maybe even worse than my penchant for violent conflict resolution.At this point you notice a blur of movement to your left. Looking around, you see Katrina standing a few feet away clutching onto the knight’s long sword. “Dibs,” she says, sticking out her tongue.>Good work! You’ve killed a knight! Now what?>Bones bones bones bones>Hey, that’s my fuckin sword now!>Other?
>>28724339While I'd hope to run into a pretty lassInstead here stands a knightly assWho decided to be a whinny racistWhen being quiet would have been safestNow how about you move your smelly mass!
Rolled 5>>28724950>>Bones bones bones bonesUse his bones to make us hardier.Or give us a bonedong.
>>28724950"Curses. Not even I can go against the tradition of 'Dibs'. You win this time Katrina! But remember. Every bone has its day!"
>>28724987I'm sorry my limerick. I shall save you for another time
Rolled 6>>28725188>I shall save you for another rhymeFTFY
>>28725100>>28725040Grinding Bones and respecting dibs>>28725188My heart goes out to you brother, it was a good one
>>28725244 Thanks. I am a least happy that you liked it
You decide to respect the noble institution of Dibs and leave Katrina to have her sword. While she scurries around swinging it about and generally having fun, you and Ivan get to work on the knight’s body. You had considered transferring yourself into him, but the potato face and gaping stab wound aren’t doing him any favors. The two of you busy yourselves with defleshing the corpse while the Prof stand behind both of you, making suggestions and overseeing the process. It takes until nightfall, but eventually you have a pile of bloody bones and a much nastier pile of human trimmings. You and Ivan begin to grind down the bones while the professor looks on, nodding at irregular intervals. The sun is completely set when Ivan begins the ritual of skeletal reinforcement. The powdered bone floats into the air, lit up by the ætheric light, before burrowing into your skeletal frame, making you larger and stronger. Arseny was already taller than most when Ivan bound you to his bones, but the addition of all of that bone powder has added at least a quarter hand to your frame. Professor Becherski walks over towards the pair of you, which you take as your queue to leave. You have little patience for the old man’s particular dialect of common. You spend the next several hour badgering Katrina to take you on as her “master in the art of swordplay… among other things” to no avail.
Eventually the two fleshies go to bed, and Voytek wanders off into the darkness to practice walking on two paws, away from your limericking self. You look up at the greater moon, Mesic, wondering what you’re going to do for the rest of the night before your party moves on.Your thought are interrupted by a quiet voice behind you. You turn to see Katrina standing in your shadow, face very slightly flushed.“Hey nyamskull. If you were really so det-nyan-determined to teach me swordplay, I’ll nyn be more than ready to beat you down.”>Looks like the ice princess is starting to thaw! >Accept request. roll d20>Refuse>Check her head for any injuries.>Other
Rolled 4>>28725763>>Accept request. roll d20Give her a lesson of insult fencing.
>>28725864Alright we seem to have accepted her request.Things seem to have slowed down a touch, is everyone enjoying themselves?
Rolled 18>>28725763>Your challenge I readily accept>You'll quickly see I'm not inept >With this blade and a little time>You'll see I wield it as well as my rhyme>For with both I am quite adept
>>28726050This. This is delicious.Remember, I'll always make time for limericks.
Rolled 18>>28726013Wonder where everyone went.I guess its the 20 other quest plus friday night.Of course I am
>>28726013Yes. I just really wanted to do limericks tonight
>>28726070good night SpiritGuided.
>>28726362Good night anon, see you next thread
>Your challenge I readily accept>You'll quickly see I'm not inept >With this blade and a little time>You'll see I wield it as well as my rhyme>For with both I am quite adeptKatrina backs away from you, eyes wide and brow furrowed. “Ah… Is that a yes?”>Fuck yeah it is. Get out that massive ass longsword woman!As Katrina scampers off to grab her new toy you draw and examine your own blade. The edge looks slightly dull, and there seems to be some minor chipping along the upper half. >Gods damnit…You look up in time to see Katrina hop into place, a smile on her face for the first time since you’ve seen her. “Nyan-ow I’ll show you! I’m nyat to be trifled with!”The girl bolts forward, surprisingly fast for a fleshie. However, despite her speedy movement, her swing is slow and awkward, and you easily parry it with your own weapon.>Oof. you grunt as Katrina’s blade strikes your own. How the hell could such a slow swing come with so much power behind it? You back peddle a few feet before returning your weapon to the ready position. The girl is strong!“Hahahaha! I told you, I’d beat you down!”Look at that shitty little satisfied expression on her face! You’re not about to let some freshly bound brat run roughshod over you. You charge forward, and bring your weapon down in a vertical swing, which Katrina counters with the flat of her sword. The force of your blow knocks some of the air out of her, and the arrogant grin on her face slips away.>HA! You take advantage of her distracted state to attempt a sweep with one of your skeletal legs. It succeeds knocking her to the ground. She land with a thud onto the grassy field, looking up at you in shock. You hold the point of your sword a few inches away from her throat.>Does this mean I get to be a god too now?“I-I-Idiot! That was nyan CHEATING!”>>>>>>>choices in next post
>>28726481>Talk about sour grapes. What do?>Tell her off?>”There is no such thing as cheating in battle”>Other
Rolled 9>>28726481>>”There is no such thing as cheating in battle”you know it to be true
>>28726481>”There is no such thing as cheating in battle”I mean, we didn't lay out any rules to this fight after all. All we know what to do in a fight since our binding is to try and keep ourselves alive. So dueling formalities haven't exactly been something we picked up, after all
>>28726661>>28726660I love consecutive post numbers. It seems like we're gonna tell Katrina about how the real world works
>Ha! There’s no such thing as cheating in battle, dumbass! Fair fighting? That’s not just stupid, that doesn’t even exist!Katrina glowers up at you from the ground. “Simply because you live without honor does nyat mean all will stoop to -nyan- your level.”You lean over the revenant, making sure that your skeletal grin dominates her vision. >Good. That just means more people I have an edge against.You feel a large paw swat against your back, sending you flying into the air. You bounce across the ground for a few feet before coming to a halt. Voytek is standing a few feet behind where you yourself were minutes ago.->Be glad not all of us have your loose morals Bones, for I doubt you would last long.Katrina twitters loudly at your defeat.>Tch. I’ve defeated both of you at least once each. I can keep on doing it if you plan on getting uppity with me.You rise back to your feet, brushing off some turf that grabbed onto your bones. You spend the rest of the night sulking and coming up with limericks to punish your two fellow undead.
Just going to limerick to pass the night...>Questioning my fighting, they dare>They being the cat and the bear>Both say that I lack this honor>Well with it I'd have been a goner>Now I sit alone, see if I care!
The next morning brought no new limericks, only a sense of irritation you can’t quite shake. The shadow lingers over you for a few days, during which you entertain yourself by consulting Radomil and making a laundry list of all the materials you’d need for a refleshing ritual. You’re surprised to discover that the type of flesh you use for the ritual is much less important than the materials used to attach it to your body. Your list reads:>Monohorn hair for stitching>Rare metal for spikes, gold preferred>Troll blood to flow through veins>Draconic teeth to pin muscles in placeAlthough that doesn’t seem like a lot at first blush, the sheer number of materials required for each one greatly complicates things. Besides, you thought dragons were gigantic lizard critters, how would it be possible to use their teeth to pin muscle?Still all of your concerns are over shadowed by a single phrase in the ritual instructions. “Refleshed materials need not be human in origin.” Your mind hums with the possibilities as your group approaches a wall of trees. It may have taken nearly a week, but you've finally reached the outskirts of Herwald.The trees tower before you, much higher than the ones in the forest around Professor Becherski's castle. You're rather amused to note that while the large stone road you've been walking on for the past week continues on into the forest, it immediately transforms into a small, dust wood path when the North road reaches the tree line. Almost as if the men who made it were loathe to tread into the woods.The group stops at the edge of the woods. Ivan chuckles weakly. "So, I'm thinking we should make camp and walk in there tomorrow. Everyone with me?">What say you? It's only about midday.
>>28727342>Fighting with honor they say is righteous>But all it does is ache my arthritis>With their words they tried to rattle>As if to threaten with a paddle>Please, I am not spineless!
>>28727550"Whatever. I feel like scouting ahead then." Then we go scope out the woods alone. Leave marks on trees so we can find our way back (or I guess if someone tries to find us)
>>28727600>>28727342Nice Limericks yo.
>>28727766Well, I am a spirit of Mr. Bones, no?
Alright guys Spectral I hate to say it, but I think that this thread is on its last legs here.Will run another Quest tomorrow, hopefully the pace will pick up a bit by then.As always, it was a pleasure to QM for you guys, and I'll be lurking to answer any questions
>>28727847Ah, I understand. I think it's partly do to that there are other quests being run right now. I'll be back tomorrow Wouldn't you say that Bones almost seems like the odd man out of the bunch? Poor guy(s). They just can't see his genius/common sense
>>28727977He is definitely the only one with his particular... perspective. I actually intended the Professor to be a Bones ally, but he hasn't really gotten a chance to be anything other than slightly senile and weird speaking
>>28728012It's funny to see that the party is almost like 3 separate groups.The groups being The Mancers, The Bounded, and Bones alone at the center
Rolled 1>>28728124Shame the quest ended
>>28728312There's always tomorrow.It'll let me rest my mind for more Limericks!
>>28728312Yeah I just got back from dinner and a movie, I missed all of it after we were voting which way to go. Time to scroll up and find out what happen!
>>28728451>>28728393>>28728312I double dog swear there'll be quest up nice and early tomorrow. To be honest, I'm getting a bit tired myself and am running out of ideas
>>28728616And that's fine. Better to let it end, rest, and come back fresh, than to trudge on tired
>>28728616Aaaand caught up, interesting stuff.>>28728648This guy knows what's up.