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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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Time for a HFY thread.
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What aspect of our glorious nature are we exploring today, OP?
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The same thing we do every night, Pinky....
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Try to take over the world!
The one where everyone else is bumblefucks who deserve to get raped for not being human.
i have been thinking of writing some HFY content but i am not sure what to write about... any idea's?
see >>28207157
Do something that doesn't include xenos.
Yeah, humans not being giant assholes for once, we really lack those.
Future space 4chan uniting species as Anonymous.
So have them rape elves instead of aliens? Brilliant!
Humanity as a wise race but weak race
Yeah, you probably shouldn't write anything if basic grammar eludes you.
this has tons of potential...

so something about how beautiful and tragic our races history is?

not sure how to respond...

i don't think i could pull that off...
And then space Reddit with space SJW plaguing various civilizations.
well that escalated quickly. all right I will work on some HFY stuff, it might not be ready in time for this thread.
Easy, simply make all the other races retarded
It has been speculated, suggested, discussed, converted into rumour for UA,...
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We had a great one on /k/ a few days ago, quite a bit of OC. I'll dump my folder
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So what does the cyrillic text say?
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Something like "Hail the murdercube"
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oh god i remember the story behind that
we allies with space jews and pretty much even though we got screwed over we defended them because they were the first group to givbe a shit about us and be our allies.
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I don't have the story which is a shame as it's one of my favourites. As much as I like all of the spacepenis waving, this one feels very human I guess.
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You're missing the entire point of this.
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Here, I got it.
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Its something different isn't it? its something new and fresh. instead of being smashy smashy rape and pillage, why can't we be the bastards with the weapons that turn you into an infectious pile of goop
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Oh wait, might be that one.
The generic Sci-Fi has aliens be the supreme superior race in every aspect

Humanity Fuck Yeah was built as a deconstruction/foil of the concept
Because then we can't be the heroic underdogs?
These two are some of my favourite stories, the Drake McDougal story because it's pretty heartwarming in its own way and the Empties because I love ghost/sailor stories and this sounds like something you'd expect to hear from an old voidsman if we lived in such an age.
Nerd fights bully, wins via superior brain power and tactics.
it would still be a fresh change of pace
There's a follow up to this one, isn't there?
yes, this is it, thank you.
You ever think about chillis, bro? Fun fact, Birds can eat chilli peppers all day long no problem.

A member of the Nightshade family, the chilli pepper specifically evolved in such a way that mammals (which simply digest the seeds completely rather than dispersing them untouched far and wide in guano) are driven off by the fiery, eye watering taste of the chilli, and go eat something else.

That is their defense mechanism against us.

And at some point, humans came along, tried eating some chillies, and came back for more. They dared their friends to eat them whole. Chopped the chillies up and added them to their cooking to improve the taste. Made all manner of powders and derivatives using this human repellant.

Then of course they took the seeds and spread, cultivated them better than the dumb birds ever could, not *in spite* of this plant trying to ward them off, but BECAUSE of it.

Never forget that your ancestor, EVERY ancestor, was the one that survived. The very fact that you exist at all means you are the product of the fastest runner, the mightiest hunter, the strongest and the fittest and the smartest. And occasionally the craziest motherfucker too.

Empties author here, glad you like it. I though HFY was in dire need of a little 2spooky


I'm sure there is, sadly I don't have it.

Hate to douse your skin-waving Human card mate, but I very much doubt aliens would be, err, "alien" to the concept of imbibing chemicals/plants that produce a "negative" effect on the body.

Instead of going "Oh shit you guys are INSANE!" It would be "Oh wow, that's what it does? Kinda reminds me of X."
Thank you for writing it, man. All we see in these threads in screen caps, I encourage you to drop some more 2spooky OC in these threads.

I do have some OC from the last thread, forgot to save the cap. I can dump it again (sadly it isn't 2spooky, it's more traditional HFY)
Dump away, then,

Here we go then

Humanity's agreement with the Disrotian Confederation had proven extremely beneficial for them, not in the least because it had afforded them a whole slew of new technologies and advances. Clean energy and industry helped begin undo the damage done by mankind to the planet, and under the watchful, if somewhat patronising, eyes of the Disrotians humanity began to take its first steps beyond the solar system, serving as crew aboard the seemingly titanic vessels. Although the vessels were designed for use by the much larger quadrupeds, specially adapted workstations allowed humans to make a meaningful contribution to the operation of the craft aboard which they served.

As tales of the successes of the humans serving with the Disrotians reached both Earth and Disrotia, the Disrotians found themselves overwhelmed with the number of volunteers stepping forward to serve with the Disrotian Defence Forces. Sensing a chance to exploit the high reproduction rate of humans (one per every nine of their months, compared to the twenty-five that a Disrotian took to mature) several new classes of small warships and starfighter were introduced, built to be officered by Disrotians but mainly crewed and operated by humans. Whilst some humans complained at the lack of equality aboard, the ships they were crewing were slow, primitive and undergunned compared to the regular military and their officers were chosen more on the basis of political reliability than military capability, the Disrotians pointed out that humanity was still rather primitive by Disrotian standards and it would take a long time for them to become and civilised. Initial combat action against pirates and smugglers proved the humans' worth to their officers, taking as easily to war in space as they had taken to war on their home planet, but they had still not won the approval or respect of the majority of Disrotians.

Admist all of this, the neighbouring Mervo Hive had grown concerned at the expansionist policies of the Confederation and began secret preparations for war. Whilst maintaining a calm diplomatic front, ships were quietly positioned towards Disrotia and war plans were drawn up. A surprise attack was launched on Earth, quickly overwhelming the token defences and forcing the human government to surrender, withdraw from the Disrotian Confederation and order all humans to resign at once from the Disrotian Defence Forces. This order came just as a Mervo force was detected heading for Disrotia Prime, with the only force close enough to defend the planet being the ceremonial Home Fleet and the accompanying 303rd (Human) Auxiliary Combat Wing, who had been brought to the capital on a spur-of-the-moment decision to parade in front of the citizenry as an example of the good work that the Confederation was doing in uplifting a primitive race.

To the utter surprise and astonishment of the Disrotians, who were desperately issuing recall orders for their warfleets that had been sent to deter other powers from attacking, so sure were they that no Mervo attack was imminent, the humans did not leave their posts. Recovered logs tell us that on board the flagship the human First Officer, Sub-Commander Vasquez, had looked quizzically at her Disrotian captain and asked why she was being relieved – had she performed her duties poorly, or was there some other fault in her conduct? Such defiance of orders initially confused the Disrotians, but as more detailed scans showed the size and composition of the Mervo strike force they realised they could ill afford their to turn away the humans, and order them to be deployed with the Home Fleet as a reserve.

Upon reversion to realspace, the Mervo dreadnoughts opened fire and decimated the Home Fleet, the slow Disrotian vessels proving a perfect target for the large Mervo guns. With nothing standing between the Mervo and the capital of the Confederation, the commander of the 303rd, who had received command after the total destruction of the Home Fleet, saw no other option but to order to engage. The small, agile vessels screamed towards the enemy, weaving amongst the deadly volleys of light more suited to destroying larger targets, and with a final order of “engage the enemy more closely” from Sub-Commander Vasquez, the 303rd opened fire. The Mervo found themselves fighting a battle they were ill-equipped to fight, not having brought a starfighter complement as they had drawn the bare minimum of ships away so as not to raise suspicion, and so had to rely on their point defences. When it became apparent that the weapons of the 303rd were insufficient to penetrate the enemy's shielding, several craft volunteered for suicide runs, the explosive detonation of their reactors being enough to tear a hole in the shields of the capital ships.

Back on Disrotia, the moment that a Mervo vessel winked out of existence on sensor displays raised a mighty shout of triumph that cut through the tension. Who could have possibly predicted that their safety would now depend on a handful of primitives in deliberately obsolete craft?
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I think he was trying to emulate this screen cap, yet failed dismally.
I don't know which human was insane enough to go down to a pre-industrial world where the dominant life-forms were several times larger than they were aerial super-predators with bullet-resistant scales and more claws, spines and teeth than knives in a skaking armoury, but now that they have these 'dragons' on their side, they're outright terrifying.

It's long been a good rule of thumb to avoid sapient super-predators, due to their tendency to eat you and everyone you know.
But these humans?
If something that dangerous can be reasoned with, they will ingratiate themselves and turn those super-predator's talents towards rutting anyone who looks at their territory funny up the anus.
And they can generally pull this off by making deals that in no way inconvenience themselves.
They call it the X-Factor, an intangible trait that Humans possess. Some would call it luck or sheer determination, but from what I have seen in my nine years with Federation occupation forces on the Human home world, I am more inclined to refer to it as something close to suicidal rage.

When the Federation crushed the divided Human military in under three months, they did not see much of this X-Factor, just outdated tactics and incompetence on the highest levels. That is why, when the first civilian insurgency group attacked a diplomacy centre just thirty eight hours after the last battle was won, they were not prepared.

Sixty eight casualties in total. Twelve were Federation civilians and several more were local informants. The remaining forty nine were Federation military. All these deaths, plus over seventy wounded, were caused by 6 Humans. Only one of the perpetrators was captured. When an attempt to capture him was made, he detonated a crude explosives vest while shouting something incoherent. The blast brought the structure down, killing a further four military personnel.

Before this point, terror tactics were a hypothetical, just ghost stories passed on from what little evidence of human fiction remained. Federation scientists had no reason to believe the survival instinct in Humans was so easily suppressed, or that they could continue to fight after their leaders had officially offered surrender. Battle doctrine was not changed for another seven months, after an unknown number of attacks by insurgent Human groups brought local operations across the world to a stand-still.

There was an ambush on Federation arms in a small population centre I was stationed at. I was a translator and skilled interrogator, just rooting out insurgency and maintaining peace. A small child was brought to me for questioning. A casual acquaintance had been seen at a violent rally, so anyone with any connection was studied closely.
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I think this is the first time I've witnessed my own OC being posted

It's a good feeling.

In return, have my favorite HFY of all time.
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what about this one?
Wrote this idea a while back, but haven't have the skills nor time to turn it into a snippet.

Humanity is best at waging shadow wars.

The galactic federation is in fact controlled by a single secret organization. When it encounters a new species, the organization infiltrates its society and shape it into something compatible with the federation before the official "first contact". This ensures a relatively peaceful galaxy, though there are still some skirmishes and assassinations.

All is well, until it finds earth. Every attempt to establish its hold on earth's society is met with fierce resistance from the secret cabals on earth, the illuminati, the majestic twelve, the free masons, templars, etc. Each manages to capture alien technology and physics textbooks and use them to gradually turn earth into a spacefaring nation.

By the time earth makes an official contact with the galactic community, each of the secret societies of earth has expanded to include alien members and is now influencing the affairs of the galaxy.

Wars start to break out more often, and the galaxy is in chaos.
Which is all just according to plan.
Whose plan?
Well, nobody knows.
I think that's not HFY, it's just an awesome anecdote. HFY is generally sci-fi, and is done as an exploration of how Humans might stand out among other aliens instead of being the middleman jack-of-all-trades race as we traditionally are in sci-fi.
so wait, human conspiracy theorists are thinking that a giant alien conspiracy group is directing all of human affairs while in fact, the giant HUMAN conspiracy group is controlling ALIEN affairs?

I love it.
Something that shows how cool/interesting/awesome humans can be without being massive asshats.

Basically not-40k that still makes us look cool.

Give humans a fearsome not entirely undeserved reputation, but show that we are more than that. Maybe the aliens think we are bloodthirsty warriors, but we're just good at fighting. Or maybe just have some aliens talking about how humans are different from them.

Look up Drake Macdougal, that's a good one.
The first one says "ALL WILL SEE THE TRUTH".
The second one says "WHERE THERE IS WAR, WE WILL FOLLOW".

I think. It's been a while since I checked.

The attack of the 303rd had slowed the Mervo down, and the destruction of one of their capital ships had stopped it altogether. By the time the 4th Assault Fleet had arrived, the 303rd had managed to destroy another dreadnought and force the Mervo to withdraw.

Whilst some had initially considered abandoning the humans to their fate, none dared voice such thoughts after the 303rd had essentially saved the homeworld of the Confederation. The survivors were lauded in a lavish award ceremony, during which the Confederate Chamber declared that “In all of history, never before was more owed to so few.” The mighty war machine of the Confederation rumbled into action, swiftly liberating the human homeworld with the 303rd in the vanguard and driving the Mervo to their original borders. Rethinking their policy toward the humans, the few remaining craft of the 303rd were modified to have top-of-the-line equipment whilst Disrotian designers feverishly worked on creating human vessels with cutting edge technology.

It has been ten standard units since the Battle of Disrotia Prime, and the Disrotian-Human Confederation continues to enjoy galactic dominance. Whereas once the 303rd was seen as a crude political and sociological experiment, it is now the pride of the Defense Forces and it is seen as an honour for any Confederate citizen, Disrotian or Human, to serve in its honoured ranks.

(Sorry about the gap, had to go)
is this chick just fucking with them?
All of humanity is trolling the aliens in the Veil of Madness.
Why, if they planned for the soldiers to be dead, didn't they just send robots?
Or just the suit filled with twigs, it works filled with bones.
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This one is a classic.
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That one im saving
There's one thing that doesn't make sense from the beginning. "The concept of 'giving your word' was one foreign to us."

That doesn't make sense. That's how contracts and all business dealings are done. I tell you I'll give you X in exchange for Y, you agree, we shake on it, and we both show up with the items or services. Why would a species without that concept be traders?
HFY is humans being awesome because of something which we actually do (like putting ourselves in danger with no benefit).
Bad HFY is humans being better than aliens just because they suck.
They don't trade promises, only goods.
Would you rather trust an alien species or go right ahead and exchange directly?
Who's this guy?
John Galt? Namefag who occasionally pops up with something awesome.
He's the reason anyone on /tg/ knows what Riddle of Steel is and the reason we're getting a nice new version of the concept.
Not that I'm sucking his dick or anything.
Nobody puts themselves in danger for no benefit. There's plenty of strings attached.
Apologies. I was attempting to make a pun. Verbal tone is tricky to get over text.

Hadn't heard of RoS though. Never actually saw him in a thread before, just screencaps like this. Checking it out.
Lots of people do.
SwedeBro is just one extreme example of human charity, there's also just giving your junk to shelters. It doesn't help you in any way more than throwing it out, but people still make that extra effort because it's nice.
Dem human feels
LMFAO, never thought about it like that.
Those stars above our heads? WE WILL FUCK THEM!
Now if only, we could actually do this minus the killing part.
go back to whatever hellhole you came from
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Humans, hm?

You've probably heard a great deal about them already. How they're the first known sentient species to evolve on a death world. How they can rip a Thuxian broodwarrior limb from limb with their bare claws. Well, first, I've met a human who actually got into a fight with a Thuxian...well, he didn't call it a fight. Some other word that begins with the human letter 'F'. and he tells me the Thuxian was stronger than him.

Secondly, let me tell you about their food.

You see, on a death world, everything is trying to kill you. That's the whole point. The predators are trying to kill the prey, yes, but the prey are also trying to kill the predators with evolved bio-toxins, and the plants are trying to kill the herbivores with autogenerated nerve agents and razor-sharp spines. So consider this:

What kind of cooking would you get from a world like that? Where even the FOOD is trying to destroy you from the inside out?

I had the privilege of being on a diplomatic mission to the human homeworld, and by some cosmic fortune, the human digestive system is not all that different from my own. We both need proteins, lipids, and glucoses, with about the same body water content. We even have roughly the same olfactory senses.

When the human diplomat caught wind of this, he decided to arrange 'a special treat'. He called in some 'gormey sheffs' (apparently highly skilled food preparers) from all over the planet to be the first to prepare food (which the humans call 'cooking') for a Kroozti.

It was a night I will never forget.

There was a table, it might have been 40 dunars long...if I stood on it and walk from end to end it would have taken me a hundred steps. And it was covered with a thousand different foods made of everything you could imagine, and many, many more things you couldn't. Every thing on it made my mandibles quiver with anticipation.

> How they can rip a Thuxian broodwarrior limb from limb with their bare claws. Well, first, I've met a human who actually got into a fight with a Thuxian...well, he didn't call it a fight. Some other word that begins with the human letter 'F'. and he tells me the Thuxian was stronger than him.

Wat? I don't get it...
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And the SMELL. Gods in the Twilight, I almost passed out, and my adjutant did. It was like...no, I don't even have words. Just imagine that feeling you get, right after procreation, and then try to think of a smell that could CAUSE that. There were hundreds of such smells, all through the room.

Tentatively, I picked up what I suspected was a piece of fire-cleaned meat. It did not smell like meat-it smelled more like the fire it was cooked in. A smell of smoke and flame.

I will remember tasting it for the rest of my life. Again, I have no words in Krootzi or any other language I know. Telling you how it tasted would be like trying to explain sight to a creature without eyes. All I can say was that it was delicious beyond measure.

And it BURNED. Like my mandibles were on fire. I thought for a moment I'd been poisoned! Evidently one of the humans noticed my distress, and handed me a glass of an opaque fluid which I came to understand is called 'milk'. It made the pain fade instantly. I asked him how this substance was made, but the question seemed to make him uncomfortable, so instead he explained the mysterious fire-meat. He said it was actually the meat of an avian creature native to the forests of their planet, and that the pain was caused by a thing they called 'spices'.

Spices. This is where it gets strange. Remember what I asked you about death worlds? Well consider that a species that evolves on a death world doesn't consider it dangerous. They find it normal, and the rest of the galaxy tame by comparison. Well, the same is true of their food. Humans find normal food...boring. So they find various herbs and vegetables with those neurotoxins I told you about, and they mix them in-DELIBERATELY mix in poison-with their other food.

The poison I had been subjected to? Capsaicin. Yes, the same stuff Thormons use as a chemical weapon. It's banned in thirty-four systems as a chemical weapon, and humans EAT IT. And it just gets stranger.

... seriously?

Anon, you and I need to have a little talk about the birds and the bees....

It just seems to be so indecisive, as if the observer species doesn't know what the human and the Thuxian engage in, doesn't understand the concept. The part that confused me was the "stronger than the human" thing, otherwise I'd been clear they talk about a nice dicking.
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They had a foodstuff that...the comparison does it no justice, but it looked like a pile of worms. Thin, white worms drenched in a thick sauce. The human I was with bade me to eat it, and with some trepidation, I did.

Again, my ability to express the sensations fails me. There was a bit of that firey feeling, like before, but at the same time an unbelievable...humans call it 'richness'. I think it's a loose approximation for fat content, but one serving of that delicious stuff and I could FEEL my arteries clogging.

And it went on and on for hours. I thought my abdomen would explode by the time it was done.

The thing is, humans, like any other species, crave pleasure in their lives. But their homeworld has made them tough and thick, hard to damage. At the same time, it has made them hard to please as well. And in their quest to sate their hunger, they have crafted the greatest cornucopia the galaxy has ever seen.

Just know this. The next time you hear the words 'human' and 'buffet' in a sentence, get ready for a wild ride.
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Data logs:

Date: Cycle 466, Sasaloc
Location: Sefara-Class Research Crusier, Laboratory 4
Subject: Sol-3-1
Species: Homo Sapien
Subject Origin: Sol-3
Test: Basic Communication
-Subject appears to communicate using a series of reverberating muscles located below the central mental processing organ to produce audible bursts of sound. A primitive method of communication that can be easily replicated and translated, with time.
-Subject responds as expected to basic visual stimuli, visual appendages are capable of moving independently from casing.

Date: Cycle 482, Sasaloc
Subject: 17246
Species: Homo Sapien
Test: Advanced Communication
-Subject responds with louder sounds during this experiment. Recently created translation software shows that it is questioning us as to our identity, and our purpose for holding it.
-Subject ceases loud sounds once we communicate our intent to study, as opposed to harm it.
-Subject agrees to be compliant, under the condition that we do not perform invasive surgery in its organic waste dispenser.
-Condition was agreed to.

Date: Cycle 484, Sasaloc
Subject: 17246
Species: Homo Sapien
Test: Basic Physical
-Subjects internal carapace is very resilient, can withstand 18000 Raxos of constant force before deforming. Subject protested and attempted to break free from its bindings during the application of pressure. Subject’s communication became primitive, and threatened to desecrate our carapaces with such ferocity that it would reach across the metaphysical plane and disturbed our ancestor’s Ancient Slumber.
-Subjects musculature is incredibly dense and compact. Subject was able to break free from restraints with considerable effort and used appendages to enact severe damage to our equipment.
-Subject eventually ceases it’s destructive response, and complies with commands to perform basic physical manoeuvres.
-Subject appears to use only lower appendages when on horizontal surfaces.

Date: Cycle 484, Sasaloc
Subject: 17246
Species: Homo Sapien
Test: Advanced Physical
-Subject was exposed to a series of increasingly deadly creatures from our menagerie.

Subject exposed to a single Ivaroloxa, and told to combat it.
-Ivaroloxa attacked using its favoured tactic of simply leaping at the foe, attempting to grab the subject in its jaws.
-Subject evades initial leap, and uses lower appendage to deliver a blow to the lone Ivaroloxa
-Ivaroloxa experiences internal bleeding, internal detonation, lacerations and finally external detonation.
-Ivaroloxa pronounced deceased.
-Equipment records the kinetic force of the blow to be in excess of 20,000 Raxons. Equipment sent to technical support for error check.
-Recordings unverified due to faulty equipment.
-Personal recordings from observers dictate that the Subject was unharmed.

Subject exposed to a single Vertigra
-Vertigra released into Subject’s enclosure
-Vertigra utilises adapative camouflage to evade subject, before approaching from Subject’s rear
-Subject lacks fully rotational vision, yet still successfully locates Vertigra
-Vertigra attempts to pierce the subject using its pointed manipulators.
-Vertigra is unsuccessful
-Vertigra is knocked to the ground and repeatedly assaulted by the subjects lower manipulators
-Subject appears to have greater audible processing abilities than previously believed, understandable considering its method of communication, but to be capable of hearing a sneaking Vertigra is still unheard of in most organic beings
-Vertigra corpse was rendered unidentifiable.

Verma Prisoner #145:
Subject exposed to a single Verma prisoner, found guilty of 6 counts of evisceration.
-Subject and Verma spend several minutes observing one another
-The Verma does not immediately attack
-Subject engages in verbal communication with Verma
-Subject engages in more primitive forms of communication, using its upper manipulators to make motions and signs
-Verma responds with a small movement of its mandibles
-Subject and Verma simultaneously begin assaulting the observation panel
-Destruction of majority of equipment
-Noticeable damage done to observation panel
-Verma euthanized
-Subject placed into cryogenic confinement until more secure laboratories become available.
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So much win
These are my fav HFY's because it shows how humanity became insanely powerful
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More of this. This is gold...
I think the soldiers were supposed to arrive still alive, the AI in case that didn't work. The "empties" were the backup plan.
i think the the "empties" was the plan, what could send a more powerful message than a dead solider from a race you exterminated coming to get you.
Yeah well, at this point humans were facing extinction. May as well load every soldier we can packing as many guns as they can carry, even if the chance of them arriving at their targets is about 1%. The "empties" were still the plan B, it's just that plan A wasn't really possible to achieve.
I think the idea is at the beginning there was one original alien only Cabal. Originally one species this Cabal is pragmatic. They realize that as time goes on they must absorb new species in order to continue to hold power. So they do. Any time a new species appears on the verge of becoming a space faring race, they engineer a first contact to bring them into the fold. This is done with agents both on the race's homeworld and in space.

However the humans had a different take. We already had plenty of secret societies. Each one of these societies wanted to be the bigger power and nothing else. So when they realized that there was something bigger than them behind the scenes controlling intergalactic life, they had to bring in chaos in order to disrupt the flow so they can attempt to do a takeover and end up at the top.
"All it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing."

Hegalia. That's where it all started, for the war, for the humans, for me too. Hegalia was a pleasure planet near the rim of league territory. It was in a temperate band, had it's own flora, though no sentient fauna, and if the pictures I've seen are accurate, had astounding beaches. It was a holiday resort, peaceful and relaxing. I was a child, on my first vacation, barely a cycle and a half old. My parents... were going there for their anniversary.

I don't really remember much of what happened, it sort of blurs together at points. I was too young, my memory has faded with time. So long ago. I do remember the human woman though. Heather Yale. If I close my eyes I can see her clearly.

Humans weren't what they are now. They were a newcomer to the league, recently discovered FTL. The Victoria was only at Hegalia because they were so new. A cargo ship transporting their fruits and liquors delivered in bulk because they were fresh new and 'exotic'.

The Thaisians reached the sector three days into my parent's trip. A dozen war ships arrived in a system with only three patrol vessels whose only previous combat experiences were with a rogue smuggler. One of them was destroyed before they even had a chance to respond.
Word went out immediately, the planet was a lost cause. The LDF ships were under gunned, and the planet had little tactical and absolutely no strategic value. The only thing of potential value were hostages, but we all know now that the Thaisians had no interest in capturing anyone.

I know they are vilified even now, their captains judged harshly for their response and lack thereof, but they couldn't have known what would happen, nor could they have stopped it. And, at the very least, when they realized that the Thaisian were powering up weapons for an orbital bombardment, they gave an immediate evacuation order. That was the only real warning we had. The other ships left, three dozen ships, transports, cargo ships, personal pleasure crafts, they fled into the dark of space, abandoning the planet to it's fate.

The only warning my parents had was a blaring wail coming over the communications system. I didn't know what was happening. No one did. But they all saw the ships launching from the spaceport.

It must have been a mad dash. I vaguely remember running, dad and mom grabbing my arms and pulling me off the ground as they were joined by others, running towards the only way off the planet. My mother fell, pushed over. I remember a flash of her face, obscured by legs, before my father picked me up and kept on running. I never saw her again.
The Victoria was half full when the system was invaded. The captain, Pierce Menkin, may his soul shine in the heavens forever, heard the confused chatter and saw the transmitted holo of the system defense vessel being destroyed. He ordered the cargo to be dumped and pre-launch sequence to be activated as he contacted the remaining LDF ships, ignoring orders to leave immediately, to see how long he could remain. His crew began to clear out as much space as they could for anyone who could reach the ship, even while the rest of the spaceport emptied. Three dozen ships took off within the span of a minute. They alone stayed, counting down the minutes, the seconds until their ship had to take off.

One of their crew, Heather Yale, ran into the hall and called out to us, a charging horde of alien life. I like to think she had the confidence to stand there, stern and clearheaded, but she must have been as panicked as the rest of the adults. She dashed back to the ship as the holiday makers flooded through the doors. The ship was stuffed with bodies within seconds. Full of life, crushed together, barely able to take a breath. My father didn't make it inside. There were just too many bodies.
I felt the world spin, and suddenly I was above the rest, held high as my father could hold me. He was screaming, begging for the others to let him through so I could be saved. He didn't care if he couldn't be saved, only that I made it off the planet. I was told later that Heather saw me, held above the crush of bodies, pointed to me and ordered the panicked mob to give me to her. It didn't work. The people were too desperate, the stench of fear and despair was filling the air. Even though they were almost thick enough to walk upon, I was too small to understand and nobody would have listened regardless.

She did the unthinkable. She tied a cord around some exposed piping, said something to one of the other humans, and then forced her way to me, pushing through the throng. I remember her, grabbing me from my father's arms, reaching down and tying that rope around me. I can still see her eyes in my dreams. They were so determined. Then... then the ship began to take off. It hovered, and I saw one of the other humans grabbing the rope and pulling it. He couldn't real us both in... couldn't with both of our weights. She looked at the ship, then back at me, and then slipped free of her bindings. The ship's ramp was closing, hovering over the ground, I was dangling by that cord, a human burly, brown haired, face beat red, pulling at the rope. Tears were streaming down his face as he pulled me inside, clutching me to his chest and sobbing, the hatch shutting behind me. The very last sentient saved from Hegalia.

Later, much later, I found out that that man's name was Nathan Yale.

-Ilkin Campos, The Thaisian Invasion and the S-Class Victoria, Prologue
Somebody post bugfucker already. I know you have it.
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There was a shitton of OC in the last HFY thread on /k/, where is it now?
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Is there any books that touch on this concept?
There was one book in the SEPS ship in Navy RTC. It was a collection of short stories, but a lot of them focused on aliens' interaction with humanity.

One of my favorites in the book was some kid on a population-controlled world contacts one of an alien race that is well-known among merc/assassin circles, but they always fight for whatthey think is right, never for actual profit. But this kid wants this alien to 'talk' (the kid says talk but the alien is thinking something else) to the population control councillor or whatever his position is (the guy that decides who gets to give birth or not) to save his u nborn baby sister, because the pop-control guy wants to abort the child. The kid offers literally everything in his room, down to the last toy and piece of furniture, alongside what little money he has. The alien says he won't do it and turns down anything the kid offers.

Unbeknownst to the kid, the alien is fascinated by the fact that a child would care so much for his unborn sibling.

Alien shows up at the guy's office, talks with him, and when the guy refuses, slices his chair in fucking half and the guy wilts under pressure and gives the kid's family a permit for another kid.

Later (YEARS later, long after this whole thing was done) the kid gets a message from some kind of interstellar bank. It's a will from the alien he hired, and it says that every piece of weaponry and armor this alien ever owned is waiting for the kid in this bank once he hits legal age.

I loved that story so much. I think I butchered it in explanation but I did the best I could. LOVED it. Can't remember the name of the alien species, I think it started with an "A". Anzelou? Anezlo? Agh, can't recall.
damn that sounds like a good story
Mass Effect Pre-game OC coming up.

Fredric Adams was on his way back to his small apartment on Kithoi Ward from his job at the human embassy shuffling papers.
In his hand was a steaming cup of what the Asari waitress in the diplomats lounge had assured him was top-quality coffee from Earth.
If that was the case she was incredibly shitty at making coffee and deserved to be locked up for ruining good coffee.
'Knew I should gone to Garron's.' He groused silently.
Funny how an Elcor made the best and cheapest coffee on the Citadel.
As Fredric took a corner into a side-street to cut a half-hour off his walk home, he saw a duo of Turians in a semi circle.
'Oh fuck the hell off.' Fredric thought, Turian delinquents. Just what he needed.
Especially since the split lips were still butthurt over the fact they'd had to call a truce at Shanxi instead of having to find out what a human guerilla war looked like.
Too late now though, one of the birds had seen him and he was unceremoniously seized and thrown into the semi circle with an alien who if he wasn't mistaken was a Quarian.
Wonderful. Just fucking WONDERFUL.
"So, we have a suit-rat and a human wandering down our street without paying the toll." the lead Turian, a juvenile if Fredric wasn't mistaken, his headspikes weren't fully grown and he wasn't as tall as most of the Birds Fredric had seen.
"Last I checked, which was this morning, this was a public street." Fredric replied evenly. "Now, walk away before you embarrass yourselves."
The Turian that had grabbed Fredric grabbed him and pulled him forward, causing Fredric to stumble and drop his coffee.
"Not a chance human. Just because the Asari said that we're not supposed to kill each other, doesn't mean you can just walk around and think you're the same as us. Same with the suit-rat. You don't belong here. Now pay up, or we're going to hurt you."
"And what's the toll?" Fredric asked pleasantly.
"100 credits." The leader replied, drawing a wicked looking knife.
"I don't have that sort of money to spare!" The Quarian protested entreatingly.
"Alright." Fredric replied calmly, pulling up his omni-tool and pulling up his supply of credits. "Here's 2,000. but if you don't mind me asking, what're a couple of kids like you two doing robbing diplomatic clerks and passers-by in side-streets like this? Do your parents even know where you are?" Fredric asked.
"None of your business asking after the business of Turian soldiers." The second leader of the pair shot back.
"Really?" Fredric replied. "And what would your commanding officer say about all this?" Fredric asked.
The two Turians exchanged nervous glances.
"That's none of your business!" The leader snapped, his voice a note higher than it had been.
"How about you let us go and I don't have a word in Major Favikan's ear tomorrow at the embassy?" Fredric replied pleasantly.
The Turian lunged forward with his knife, shouting something Fredric's translator didn't catch.
Fredric's reaction wasn't what the Turian had expected though.
The next thing he knew he was looking up at the human with his knife-hand held in an iron grip.
Then the human's raised boot stamped down on his abdomen and he couldn't breath.
Fredric gave the second Turian a look.
"If you walk away now, then so far as I'm concerned, you weren't here." He said reasonably.
The second Turian gave his companion who was currently in the foetal position one look, then legged it.
Consider the following.
Most animals on earth, even other herbivores, have a rather strict diet. They can't eat a whole lot of different things without getting sick or even dying.

Humans on the other hand can eat almost anything we can chew(and some things we can't) and come out alright. And most of what we can't just stick in our mouths and eat(what little there is) we can cook and it will be fine.

Is there any way that could be spun to make us seem weird to Aliens?
Even other omnivores*
Fuck, don't know how I made that mistake
"Thank you." The Quarian said as Fredric looked down at the Turian he'd disarmed with a look of detached interest. "I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't come along." He said.
"You'd have got mugged alone." Fredric replied simply. "I was just on my way back to my apartment and was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or right time depending how you want to look at it."
The Quarian chuckled.
Damn were they creepy with that opaque mask with only those glowing eyes visible.
"I suppose so, but why'd you offer them so much money above what they asked?" He asked.
"I was going to try to convince them that petty theft wasn't the best way to do things." Fredric replied.

I've got no idea what I was doing there.
It probably would work better a full-blown story rather than a short.
Ah well.
Not enough HFY in Mass Effect outside the games.
Blame the Vegan and Vegetarians
> It probably would work better a full-blown story rather than a short.
I don't have a Quarian-fetish if that's what you're implying, sir.
Besides, I've got enough shit on the go as is without writing something like a prequal to the events of Mass Effect. Especially not one that doesn't relate to the games.
Besides, you'll need a lot better reason than 'No' to convince someone not to pick that random PoS up and run with it.
>get out of here, stalker
Oh, /k/...
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>-Subject agrees to be compliant, under the condition that we do not perform invasive surgery in its organic waste dispenser.

I lost it
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I have one that I wrote a while ago but never posted. OC I guess.

The two full and one half moon bathed the landscape, turning everything into a silvery-blue. The forest with all of its dense growth was still silent aside from an alien creature crying out every now and again. Several tall beautiful structures stood in scattered locations across the dense forest valley. Ancient and powerful the structures were practically as old as the forest itself and had become one with it.
One structure was accompanied with newer purple and blue structures. In between the tents and other smaller purple structures, menacing looking aliens went about their business. Jackals, avian creatures with colorful energy shields standing almost the height of a man, walked around the camp. Some were patrolling, some were feasting over a small fire, and others were busy with their alien technology. Other creatures Grunts, small and stocky, spewing cold gases from their methane masks accompanied the Jackals in various tasks. The smaller creatures were being directed by powerful looking aliens standing close to eight feet in height, the taller aliens were bristling with power and weaponry. Elites they were called in the human language, and for a good reason, these aliens were exactly what their names suggested.
On the other side of a structure, up against a corner four Elites huddled together, a small campfire raged in front of them, they waited for their alien meat to finish. Leaning back against the walls of the ancient structure the four aliens were each engaged in various tasks, the fire’s crackling seemed to be accompanied by strange alien tongues.

“I can’t believe this after thousands of years, those lying prophets betrayed us!” the Elite the farthest left spoke. Clad in Red armor that was only intensified by the fire, the Elite chewed and talked at the same time.
“Calm down Varrum, you always get like this when you’re hungry.” the smaller Elite next to him responded. Clad in black armor the Elite was playing with an alien sphere like device. The surface of the device spun around several times as something rattled inside.
“He has a point Gradeem, we were some of the best the Covenant had to offer now. Now look at us, on some Forerunner forsaken planet fighting dirty stinking Brute traitors!” The Elite sitting in the corner spoke with fury in his voice. His Red armor was etched with tales of battles he had won.
“Varuuk, you may be right, but so far we are winning. Once we finish of the Brute encampment on this planet we will send a message for our ship to pick us up. We will continue fighting and win against the vile Brutes and Prophets as proof of our might.” The last Elite spoke up something burned in his alien eyes. He sat clad in black armor which had many assorted decorations including a necklace made from human teeth. His back was turned to the forest as he sat in an ancient alien meditation like position.
“But Parekt what about the humans? We are still at war with them.” Varrum the red elite responded, chunks of meat flew out of his alien mouth.
“Irrelevant Varrum, the humans were practically eradicated during the Schism, we have found their homeworld, burned almost all of their colonies, and beat them with our superior might!” Parekt responded, the alien’s eyes still glowed as he gazed into the fire. Two other Elites grunted in approval.
“Irrelevant Varrum, the humans were practically eradicated during the Schism, we have found their homeworld, burned almost all of their colonies, and beat them with our superior might!” Parekt responded, the alien’s eyes still glowed as he gazed into the fire. Two other Elites grunted in approval.
“I wouldn’t be too sure of that Parekt.” The black Elite Gradeem spoke. The device was still spinning around in the Elites long fingers. The other Elites looked at him in surprise.
“What makes you say that Gradeem, we have crushed their defenses for the last twenty-five years, burned their worlds and leveled their armies!” Varuuk cried out. Gradeem didn’t say a word but kept playing with his arum puzzle sphere. After thirty seconds of silence went by he stopped.
“I say this to you my fellow Sangheili as an opinion so do not hate me and If I offend you. But the Humans have shown great prowess in combat and I think they still have a chance to come back stronger than ever”, the alien Spoke.
“I have faced many humans, and killed them all. They are worthy opponents, maybe even more so than the Brutes. They still die by the droves. My kill count against them stands at two thousand five hundred and seventy-five. I could have been an Ultra or a Zealot by now commanding many followers but I gave that up just because so I could stay special operations.” Parekt responded.
“Women and children don’t count “, Varrum chuckled. His remark was joined by a chorus of Varuuk and Gradeem’s laughter.
“He’s right you know Parekt, more than half of your kills were because you went on a spree with your ancestral sword on a whole bunch of weakling humans!”, Varuuk pointed at Parekt’s energy sword hilt on his hip.
“Yes but regardless of that my head count still stands easily a thousand over yours, Varuuk!” Parekt retorted.
The Elites low alien laughs rang around the fire as they feasted on delicate alien meat and drank water from alien canisters.
“Go on Gradeem I want to hear why you think these humans still stand a chance after we have been crushing them the last twenty-five years.”, Parekt teased as he bit into roasted meat. Gradeem put his arum into a pocket and ripped off a piece of meat and bit into it with his four mandibles.
“Well you see it’s because of that, they have been fighting us for twenty-five years. They still have showed no signs of slowing even when we showed up at their home world. They destroyed a sacred ring—
“It wasn’t them that destroyed it! It was that damn demon abomination!”, Varrum cut in.
“Come on Varrum you know demons aren’t real they’re just stories made by Elites who couldn’t beat a Jackal in an traditional sword fight!”, Parekt replied.
“I wouldn’t be too sure of that”, Gradeem responded.
“I agree with both Varrum and Gradeem. I have seen vid tales of these demons fight.” Varuuk joined in.
“I have seen their prowess with my own eyes as well” said Gradeem.
Parekt looked around the Elite’s faces were grim. This discussion had just turned sour.
“Come on you don’t surely believe that a demon managed to assassinate one of our Prophets who was guarded by legions of some of the best soldiers Sangelios has to offer. It was all a trap by them to kick the Elites out of the Covenant!” Parekt cried.
Gradeem put his food down and took a big gulp from his canteen.
“Parekt how long have we been friends?”, Gradeem asked.
“Ever since we were paired together on one of the human worlds they called Coral”, Parekt responded.
“And because of the demand for Elites we got separated often. It is only now after the Schism have of our bonds of blood and friendship reunited us agian” he spoke
“On the blood of our father’s, on the blood of our son’s!” the other Elites responded to Gradeem. Somehow the oath sounded hollow now.
“Well I have seen these demons fight, and I pray to the Forerunners I never have to again.” said Gradeem.
“Brute shit, prove it!” Parekt responded.
Gradeem looked around the campfire, the three elites gazed at him with curious expression’s.
“Very well, I will”, Gradeem paused and took a bite of his roasted meat and a gulp from his canteen
He began
“It all started on the shipyard over an asteroid the Prophets maintained a while ago. I was stationed there after several successful campaigns as a Major. I over-viewed some smaller operations that the Grunts and Jackals did from Orbit and rarely went down to the planet. This refinery was one our biggest ever and very close to human space. It turned out the powerful might of the Covenant army that crushed the human spaceships. I was one week from transferring out, when something odd happened. We lost a great deal of many workers and several reactors went dark. My ship was stationed a great distance and we only checked in once in a while. So after several days of no reports, reactors going dark, and shipyards being destroyed, we sent a small cruiser to investigate. The reinforcements never contacted us again. This was odd. Several days later the refinery was practically useless. My ship along with a small fleet entered the vicinity. It turns out there were humans on the refinery destroying it.
. I was sent in alongside with a huge group of reinforcements to help stop them. We thought were fighting Imps, the humans that drop out from orbit, but we were wrong, we actually encountered demons. We engaged in a firefight for several days. I encountered the last of the demons with the support of hunters and all. We surrounded a trio of the monsters as they were running from cover to cover. One of my good friends who rushed with a squad managed to unload a whole volley of holy light into the demon. My friend Orooom thought the alien dead but it stood their firing as the plasma melted through its armor and flesh. It killed Oroom and managed to kill another squad with a grenade it threw into our ranks. I received a couple of wounds but nothing to serious. The last one killed ninety-seven Elites before a Wraith commander managed to nail it. After the initial struggle the refinery had to be shut down and the fleet moved on. After the one week struggle we discovered that there were only three hundred of them and they had managed to kill over Sixteen-thousand covenant troops before we managed to deal with the demons.
The Elites sat there listening as the tale finished. The sounds of the covenant camp were heard from behind the Ancient structure.
“I don’t believe a word of it”, Parekt grunted.
“You do not have proof but I believe you. I talked to a blood brother who was there; he described it the same way as you did. He also mentioned they seemed to have some form of camouflage is this true? Varrum asked.
“Yes, it wasn’t as good as ours but that still brings up the question of how they got it.”
“You two are full of Grunt piss.” Parekt retorted. He then turned to Varuuk.
“Do you believe these two?” he asked.
The three Elites looked at Varuuk. He stated back at them with an odd expression on his face.
“Well?” Parekt asked irritably.
Varuuk looked around,” I have something that I have never shared before with any other Elite. It’s a vid tale I have of one of the last soldiers we found on a planet they called Reach.”
“Ahh now there the humans put up quite a fight.” Parekt jumped in.
“But you didn’t see these last soldiers on the Planet Parekt, they were demons!” Varuuk croaked.
“Just play the vid tale you have Varuuk” Varrum commanded.
The Red Elite fished into an old storage unit he had and pulled out a data core. He pulled out another device and then proceeded to stick the data core in. A hologram of a screen popped to life and the campfire was greeted with a purple hue.
The video started playing.
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“We were informed that there was a lone demon survivor, so we were ordered to bring him down. Two full battalions worth of covenant showed up to have the pleasure of hunting down and slaying the demon. I was in one of them. The First battalion tried tracking him down for a full day but he was doing hit and runs. I was in the second battalion. After the first battalion finally surrounded him they had sustained massive casualties and we were order to start using armor and drop ships to bring him down.” Varuuk stopped as the hologram started to play.
In the video they were viewing from a helmet recorder of Varuuk. He was on a Phantom class dropship looking out on to the battlefield. The dropship hovered several thousand meters off the ground watching a firefight occur. The helmet cam zoomed in a small figure amongst the barren land holding out in a broken down fort near a pipeline. A bright laser flash went off and a dropship exploded into a million pieces. The hologram video began to speed up as the helmet cam played.
For a full day the Figure fought on the ground. After destroying all of the covenants available armor and air support with powerful weapons it turned to the ground assault as the few dropships tried to drop in reinforcements. The battalion on the ground marched on the lone figure.
Several more hours went by and now the helmet cam and its owner Varuuk were on the ground running across the wasteland towards the figure. A light display was going off amongst the dust in the distance. Then a minute later it was gone. As the Camera moved a mass grave was in view. Hundreds and hundreds of covenant corpses littered the wasteland. As the camera caught up to where the last flashes of light were there was demon standing there. The camera stopped. The demon’s back was turned toward the camera it did not notice the last Elite on the battlefield.
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Surrounding the demon was a mass of corpses. Amongst them lay several high ranking Elite officers. Varuuk raised his plasma rifle and took a step towards the helmetless Demon. Long hair caked in blood could be seen from the back. The demon began to walk forward, it took three steps forward and collapsed, finally joining the corpses at its feet.
The camera cut out.
Parekt laughed, “See they are nothing more than soldiers they die just like any other human filth!”
He stood up
“But Parekt, it killed two full battalions complete with air support and armor, and there were many others who did the same on the planet. We only beat them after sending over 100,000 troops down on that planet!” Varuuk responded.
“The demons are dead. We haven’t got many other reports of demons after we took Reach. They aren’t immortal beings we can kill them!” Parekt triumphantly announced.
“What about the one that killed the Prophet and blew up the sacred ring?” Gradeem asked.
“Irrelevant, it too will fall just like the others.” Parekt drew his plasma rifle, pointed it at the wall and fired two bolts.
The three Elites were quiet as they stared at the Parekt with the drawn rifle. Nothing was to be heard for miles, including the rest of the camp. A wind blew and the campfire fought to survive.
“Varrum wasn’t one of the Jackal sentries supposed to update us before we fell asleep?” said Varuuk.
“Yes that little fiend better not ha-
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Before Varrum managed to finish his alien sentence Parekt went down. The snapping of bones, sinew, and muscles was played like a horrible instrument, followed by a scream of sheer agony. Parekt was down on his knees as a Grey cladded figure stood behind him. It held Parekt’s head in up in an awkward position with one of its gauntlets and a rifle in the other.
The other Elites began to spring into action before the Grey armored titan spoke. The covenant translator turned on.
“Don’t move.” A deep human female voice spoke.
“A demon!” Varruk screamed as he reached for his rifle with his left hand. He was too slow a burst from the gun and the Elite was bleeding, his hand was partially destroyed and missing a finger and an alien thumb.
He screamed, “You vile Fi-
“I said don’t move or else you and your buddies want to die”, the demon interrupted.
The Elites watched in horror and silence as the grey titan held Parekt down with one arm.
The Grey demon spoke again, “Oh and don’t think about trying to yell or scream it’s not going to do you any good your camping buddies are sleeping in their tents.”
Gradeem spoke up, “You surely don’t mean you-
“Yes we already did, and don’t think about calling your Brute buddies for help either they’re already dead.”
The Elites all froze in horror as the realization hit them. Their human foe had not only caught them without their shields, but also trapped them in a corner, killed the Brute opposition, and then killed their whole camp off without them noticing.
“I’m going to kill you filthy human scum!” Parekt roared as he attempted to reach for his sword and grab the Demon’s hand.
Parekt was too slow, before his hand even touched the hilt of his sword the Demon yanked the Elite’s head back and broke it.
Varrum had never known fear before but a whirl of anxiety and other unexplainable emotions raged in his stomach. The other Elites were experiencing the same feeling of dread.
“This one wasn’t too much use anyway, Hey Jai, Mike!” the grey Demon yelled.
A split second later two more Grey Demons stepped around the corners of the little camp.
“What do you intend to do with us?” Gradeem spoke as he stood up cautiously. The Demons followed the Elite with their rifles. A full ten seconds past before they responded.
“You seem to have a lot of information about us Demons and Humans.” The left Demon spoke up.
“And we wouldn’t want it to go to waste.” The one on the right continued.
“So I hope you cooperate unlike your friend over here on the ground.” The female one in the middle finished.
This felt like a nightmare Gradeem thought. There is no way that there were Demon soldiers still left, they all died off. He was dreaming, he accidently fell asleep around the campfire. It had to be!
But the horrible truth dawned on him, it wasn’t a dream, and the Demons slowly began to close in on the last Elites on the little planet.
That's Spartans there, Post-human super-soldiers.
The other stories are just about normal humans or some aspect of our culture.
This isn't the best place to bring up Halo either...
Rest in Peace, Robin Sachs.
You goddamn magnificent bastard.

When I read that, the lines were by Zaeed.
The feels. He'd approve that, he would.
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Why not? Spartans were literally the finest humanity had to offer. Why wouldn't they belong in a humanity fuck yeah thread?
This will always be my favorit, especially because I automatically read it in his voice.
They're not part of humanity anymore. They're a weapon made by humans all you want, but they aren't human.

The key word here is 'Post' meaning 'beyond.'
They're not human any more. They're Spartans.
Notice how there're no 40k Space Marines? No Inquisitors or Imperial Guard?
That's not the thing we've got going here.
It's badass normal and that sort of thing
A million times this.

Imperial guard is human, so they could count.
But they're 40k which are grimdark.
This thread has been fairly light on that.
You have a point, but the closest I've seen to a 40k HFY post was that one where Quaritch gives a 'the reason you suck' speech to the Navi. That speech originated in a crossover with 40k on FF.net.
The IG would be very HFY if the theme of 40k wasn't humanity dieing a slow, painful death.
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I'm posting this for some fag on /b/ I don't know any other board where I can post a pdf.
How does this fit?
Fit what?
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The thread.
How is it related?
How does it fit with HFY?
More like humanity fuck no.
The only positive thing about humans is creativity, and even that is de-prioritized and even looked down upon in certain ways in our society. Humans suck.
Then go find a rock to live under until we can find a nice remote asteroid for you to moan on.
Or have you forgot what you are?
I didn't ask to be one of these dumb useless things. It just happened. Why should I be happy about it?
It does not it is completely off topic.
I'm just trying to help out the anon over on /b/ its related to the thread >>>/b/515480681

In b4 b&

You know you can hide posts right, I mean if it bothers you that much to see my post.
Its not like I can post pdf's on /b/ or /r/.
Look troll, have you NOT being paying attention to the virtues that have been discussed in this thread?
No? Then go violate yourself with a cactus.
Your presence serves no purpose.
Doesn't bother me, just needed a little context.
I've read plenty of HFY. It's always just fantasizing about being a dick to a fictional extraterrestrial civilization, boasting about dumb primitive things like ruining your own natural habitat and excessive hunting, pretending like our bodies are particularly hardy or exceptional compared to other species (which it's certainly not, except for our minds perhaps) etc. I have yet to read anything that makes me proud of my species.
Find the Drake Macdougal story. That should do it.
Troll. or furry.
Not sure which...
Found it. Reading it now.

People can have an opinion you disagree with without trying to troll, ya know.
The second charge still stands.
And if you disagree, why are you here?
So the thread over on /b/ died

I just wanted to thank you guys for letting me use your thread, also thank the mods for not banning me.

I will be deleting all of my posts in a few.

Sorry for the off topic shit. I didn't know where else to post a pdf.
Alright so It won't let me delete the posts.

If any mod is lurking could you please delete all posts from this ip
Again sorry for the trouble.
I heard something about us ingesting spices and chili's to help us break down some foods.
That could be fucking insane to some creatures
"The humans were so damned determined to eat the (terrifying monster) that they ingested (toxic whatever) before swallowing a piece whole! They told me that the toxins they ate earlier would break the beast down inside them!"
I was hoping it would end with hot xeno lovin
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Did someone say bugfuck?
You're in here, too? Must you shit up every thread with your food porn?
Because, seriously. I LIKE this food porn.
I already said: I do not have a Quarian fetish.
Go read 'And the Meek Will Inherit the Galaxy on FF.net if you want that sort of thing.
I just figured a diplomatic clerk kicking a Turian delinquent's ass would make a good addition.
Also, they were both guys.
I'm not writing that.

Reminds me of Thri-Keen Erotica.

Proving once again that if it's sentient, we'll fuck it.
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Fuck this actually got me hard
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Here's one of the OC posts from the /k/ thread, but I missed the rest of the thread. There were apparently like, five or six pieces of OC including this one.
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Rolled 15

This one is my favorite
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I stand in an illuminated steel corridor, reinforced and designed to withstand the forces of space while housing the pipes and wires that maintain this space station. I am a guard-claws tightly gripping a rifle-awaiting a human merchant for routine inspection. I stand several steps in front of the designated guard post. My station commander tolerates this because it demonstrates that I am ready to jump into action at the first sign of treachery. Our war with the humans has only ended three decades ago, making scars still fresh and stinging. I stand next to a reinforced glass port that looks out into space. I recognize a few systems as I stare into the infinite expanse.
Humans measure time with seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, and millennia. Even among these increments there exist further minutia that a human will be aware of depending on their role in society or education they receive either directly or indirectly. Learning about them gives the impression of a society unshackled by the burden of blood, but they are a specialized people nonetheless. Despite this, humans will still branch out into experiences beyond their field just as we do. It is not unheard of for a human to alter their specialization even after decades of focus.
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Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of humans is the power to project themselves upon others. While this sounds similar to the Tor ability to induce the sensations they experience onto others, this results from my failed exercise in writing and not the truth. Humans have the ability to witness an event (or even gain knowledge of it) and simulate the stimuli of participants onto their own body. For example, a human witnessing another human being scratched in the arm may be able to feel the same pain on the identical location, or a location where they had a similar experience. Stranger still, humans can project themselves in this way to being outside of their species and even inanimate objects.

I think about the nature of humans as I look out the window and I remember my acceptance into the military. My regional commander entered my residence as I look at the stars. My personal quarters had an opening that look directly into the sky, allowing me to watch space without the obstruction of the ground and buildings. I sat in a chair staring straight into the infinite expanse with my claws relaxed. The commander entered and asked if I was ready to deploy as mandated by my birth. My claw clenched and I looked forward. I said yes.

I cannot understand why thinking about humans causes me to remember that day. I cannot understand my fascination with their bizarre power. However, I do wonder if this power allows a human to walk down this corridor and stretch out her soft claw, telling me "good day." If so, what power extends my own claw and ask: "how do you do?"
That is HILARIOUSLY awesome.
Hope the thread is still here when I get back
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I always liked this one.
"You can open your visors now."

The tour guide's voice repeats in a variety of languages, a hovering bulb by her head flashing for the Vork among the crowd. I didn't even know the crab-people HAD journalists.

I watch the crowd open their visors, revealing an array of interesting and unusual faces; I'm familiar with the galactic races, but you don't often get to see them outside of their enviro-suits. They look around, holding up various instruments and scrawling on a mixture of hovering light-screens and plates of nano-molecular gunge. Bloody crabs; what's wrong with paper and a pencil? That's what I'm using.

We're in a human space station with every single viewport closed for the safety of our alien friends. We don't want to accidentally do to them what we did to the Scriit empire.

The tour guide is explaining various aspects of human craft design and culture to them. She's a young girl, no older than 22 I'd guess. Pretty. Shame I'm leaving on the next shuttle out.

"Any questions?" she finishes, that light bulb rippling beside her head. The Vork - the crab, I think - raises a pincer-claw and a moment later, a synthetic translated voice asks in plain-english:

"Can we see the rift?"

"If you want," she laughs, "but you know what effects it has on sentient beings. You'd go insane."

"So we can't see it?"

"Not if you want to leave here alive."

"So how do we know it's real?"

"It's real. If it weren't, humanity never would have discovered FTL and you wouldn't be standing here right now."

This seems good enough for most of them.

"In that case," I say, speaking up and getting a wink and a smile from the blonde guide, "can we see the fleet?"

"The Scriit?" she asks. "I'm afraid not, sir. The Scriit empire have requested that the remnants of their fleet be treated as classified until they can build another fleet to tow it back to their home planet."

I nod. Fair enough.

Later, as the aliens and their dignitaries leave in various shuttles and craft, I find the blonde girl nursing a glass of wine and staring out of an open veiwport. I try my luck,

"Mind if I join you?"

She smiles,

"That depends; do you really want to join me, or do you just want to look out of this viewport?"

"Can't it be both?"

She shrugs.

"Come and get comfortable then."

I sit down, and she taps my glass as though she were toasting me: it fills with wine like hers, and we sit together on a red cushion beside the chalk-white wall.

Just two humans, staring out into the void, a long, long way from home.

"We can't show the aliens," she whispers as we stare into the abyss, "because we'd ignite a war. It's horrifying - and I want Earth to know that. What we did to the Scriit: I want all of Earth to know."

To hear such fear, and such shame, in the voice of a pretty shuttle-girl, chills my stomach. I sip my wine, letting the burning thaw the frost around my gut.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

She taps the veiwport and it magnifies once, then twice,then a third time.

"I don't see anything," I say, staring into a sparkling sea of stars like black champagne.

"Computer," she whispers, "remove the filter on all veiwports."

The screen shimmers, and I find myself staring at a clutter of debris, the vague shapes of a fleet destroyed. There must be hundreds of ruined ships in various states of decay. Occasionally I see the flickering of lights in the distant viewports, like gunfire in the darkness.

"What the hell did we do to them?"

"Our commanders leaked intelligence through long-range broadcasts, giving them the impression that we were massing a fleet here. At the rift."

"A trap?"

"A trap. The Scriit jumped in a a day later, their entire fleet, ready to decimate us over a petty border squabble. Their ships never got off a single shot."

"Becuase of the Rift," I say. "Poor bastards."
The Rift.

A tear in space-time that leaks vibrations that are extremely low in the electromagentic spectrum. I'm talking radio.

We picked it up. A signal. If you send a probe into that dark, black scar in the universe, you hear it.

It's binary: on or off. Sound, or no sound. No words, but if you know how to code a computer, you can extract logic from it. Maths, like I said. Formulae.

We've all heard the stories. Scientists driven mad by what they heard. But sometimes other things come through. Mathematics. Logic. Physics.

We harnessed the graviton with the things we heard spoken through the rift. We expanded into the stars upon the secrets whispered to us in the depth of space, a voice speaking in bursts of white noise.

We'd found Pandora's box.

Living close to the Rift for too long had an adverse effect on sentient species as it was. The Scriit, though? They communicated through high-frequency vibrations.

They spoke in radio, and they had no idea what we had found.

If it threatened to drive us insane, then I'd hate to think what it would do to the Scriit.

"An entire fleet," she says, "jumped in and hailed us. They asked us where humanity's fleet were hiding, and threatened to destroy us unless we told them. Then they went quiet, as though they could hear somebody speaking."


"And they lost their minds. Started moaning and wailing. Fell upon themselves like savages. Within a few hours, their ships were burning and leaking atmospherics. We just watched. There are still fights going on, over there. Scans show weapon-discharges. There must have been more than 100,000 Scriit crew in that fleet. All of them have gone insane."

I sit my wine glass down.

"You aren't a tour guide," I whisper, "are you?"

She leans in close as though she going to kiss me, and murmurs in my ear,

"My name is General Alice Reyjkam, and you can tell the people of Earth that they have a guardian angel in the stars."

"I'll make sure Earth finds out," I say, putting a hand on her bent knee. She taps the viewport and it closes over.

"Good. Now kiss me, otherwise the others will grow suspicious."

She tastes faintly of the wine she's drinking, soft lips on a hard woman.

"Good work, reporter," she says.

"Do the Scriit know what happened?" I ask as she shuffles away from me, preparing to leave.

"Of course," she laughs. "We sent them the recordings, with the addendum that if they failed to announce their unconditional surrender: we'd spread this shit through their internet and let Scriitara burn."

She walks away, tossing her blonde hair over one shoulder.

"A guardian angel," I whisper, laughing. "Humanity has a fucking demon."
So computers are our superpower among spacefaring races?
that twist at the end. ruthless. love it. what a woman.

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