previous threads:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Washed%20up%20villain%20questpaste bin: http://pastebin.com/a8kFtx4QYou are Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly, and you are on the brink of possibly murdering Viviane, were it not for the Antlered mountain of a man standing in between you."What did you say?!" You shout in a blind rage "YOU DARE TELL ME WHEN TO STOP!!!!""Defiler" The man says "I will ask one more time, stop, before I must make you stop". Your rage is causing the living world around you to wilt and die, before rising again in a crude mockery of life."And I will ask you once" you walking up to the man far larger than yourself "get out of my way before you share her punishment"."You will not lay another finger upon my daughter, defiler" the man says calmly "I do not wish to end a life today, even one as vile as your own"."Neither do I" you say "so I would suggest leaving before I am forced to raise my hand to one so finely dressed as yourself"."This is my kingdom defiler" The man says, anger beginning to seep into every word he speaks, like a slow acting poison that controls the mind of those it is administered to "and I will not stand for you to further pervert it"."Well then, be neighborly and step the fuck away from MY MINION" You shout in his face."You dare claim this one as yours!" The man shouts back."I kidnapped her, fair and square!" You yell, standing your ground."DO YOU ALSO CLAIM OWNERSHIP OF THOSE WHO YOU ROBBED OF THEIR ETERNAL REST!" The man shouts, his voice seeming to come from the world around you."Yes" You say calmly "they lost the game of life, I didn't, as such it is my right to take control of their left over meat". The man stares at you with what could only be described as the contempt of a man who just witnessed his innocent daughter get deflowered against her will.What do you do Ask him to move leave attack roll1d100 this meadow would make a fine train station  other
>>27956619Well this is depressing
>>27956619sorry i've been kind of busy
>>27956762so what's the vote?
>>27956619present as well
>>27956792Why hello there
>>27956780i'd leavewe are a new god, i'd imagine we should wait till we get strong enough to personally kick his ass.
Rolled 48>>27956521fuck yea just saw this  this meadow would make a fine train station we do need one by our base'all my life infinite train works "
>>27956521[X] This meadow would make a fine train station
>>27956619Would of got here earlier but I had to make me somethign to eat, but now zee captain has arrived!
>>27956951You begin to walk away. And then you take a good, long look at this meadow. Its actually quite large and nice."You know this meadow would make a fine train station" You say smiling."What does it matter" The man says."Oh not much, besides the fact that the wild life will have to go" You say as you turn to him "and that includes you". You think about throwing open your coat for dramatic effect, before remembering, it still hasn't been fixed, and that makes you mad, so very mad. So you grab the fabric of reality and tear it open like a bag of chips, releasing you favorite toy upon the world. the train crashes into the man, and you begin to laugh, that is until you notice that it stopped moving.....is ...is HE THROWING IT AT YOUroll1d100
Rolled 61>>27957119casual walk through the cars at super speed, then put the steam up to 11 and really hit him with a train magic fire bellowing out catching the forest.
Rolled 46>>27957119Gotta love those trains
Rolled 50>>27957119sorry, was at the store.
>>27957148Well now that is just rude. You begin to weave through the cars as they crash into the ground and the trees, leaving ugly craters and sending burning coals through the air, causing the meadow and forest to begin to alight with an unnatural fire. You see a face a pure rage come rushing at you, along with what looks lie spiked vines dripping with a vile substance.what do you doPAWWWNCH roll1d100 dodge roll1d100 FLUFFY BITE roll1d100 Mr Fritz!!!! other
Rolled 75>>27957290> CANE DUEL
Rolled 52>>27957290Smack this insolent fool with your cane
Rolled 26>>27957290Go forth my fluffy companion!
Rolled 91>>27957290It's cane time!
I fucking knew it! Rolls drop as soon as we start facing increasingly virtuous individuals.
>>27957316"FOUL WRETCH" You shout as you raise your cane to strike him down."DEEEEFILER" He screams, fist rocketing towards you. You hear something crack, and you see the man hit the ground with a thud, before you find yourself in a tree, not on, or under, but embedded in the wood with a headacheHealth: Alrightwhat do you do CHARGE roll1d100 Summon something roll1d100 tag in a god (dark three only) roll 1d100 other
Rolled 54>>27957453> Summon Mr Fritz
>>27957453Time to call Mr. Fritz.Yeah, he is going to love this
Rolled 42>>27957453Mr Fritz!We should probably actually teach him something after this though.
Rolled 22>>27957453Seal the fucker into the lake just like our predecessor did before us.
Rolled 52>>27957453Summon a train to run over whatshername and while the big guy rushes to protect her daughter, we impale the guy from behind, transform the cane into minigun while it's still inside him and start unloading. If he doesn't rush to protect her, the traintracks gain a sacrifice.
>>27957556"MR FRITZ" You shout to the heavens, causing your champion to erupt from the ground "What do you want" he asks."Aid me in destroying this man" You say."Nah man" A voice says from the flames"You just can't kill nature like that". "Hey aren't you that homeless bastard who won't stop trying to get Freebies" Mr fritz says, sounding angry."N..no" The badly dressed and smelling man says "I am the champion of naaaaaaaaature"."....Boss, can I kill him" Mr. fritz asks.What do you say yes (do you wish to switch to the fritz?) no, he's minesummon someone else behind the champion of nature
>>27957606that is dastardly, I love it
Rolled 43>>27957640"and raze his corps to carry your stuff."
>>27957640yes. Then implement the dastardly plan >>27957606
Rolled 73>>27957606I vote this
>>27957640>[X] yes (do you wish to switch to the fritz?)And then use the dastardly plan.
Rolled 63>>27957640dastardly plan go
Rolled 75>>27957640dastardly plan go
>>27957717"Kill him" You say as you prepare to unleash another train upon the man, However reality appears to be resisting your attempt to summon another traindo you attempt to tear it asunder again?roll1d100
Rolled 9>>27957777Fucking reality man, always getting in the way.
>>27957804You grab the veil of reality, and hear a horrible tearing noise as the space which you grabbed is torn away, leaving only the void.....the void....endless black....trying to pull you back into it. 'NO NO NOOOOOOOOO. NOT AGAIN" You scream as it tries to drag you back to your personal hellwhat do you  Get out of here  Mr. Fritz is dangerously close to it, get him away from the tear in reality Pull it apart more  otherall actions require a roll of 1d100
Pretty sure this will end up with us going "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME CAPTAIN PLANET!"
Rolled 43>>27957930pull it apart more.This time we wont bow down this time we wont let it consume us this time shall consume it.
>>27957930>pull it apart moreFUCK IT, we've gone this far.
Rolled 32>>27957930Punt the fucker natureboy to the void and leg it with fritz.
Rolled 53>>27957930>>27957939>"I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME CAPTAIN PLANET!"Time to make a tactical withdrawel
Rolled 31>>27957992Pull it shut again, cackling insanely as we go.
Rolled 25 Pull it apart more otherPunt the champion of nature to the hole.
Rolled 8>>27957930Pull it apart more!
DAMN YOU CAPTAIN PLANET!
Rolled 36>>27957930Pull it more and try to get nature god to be sucked into it
Rolled 66>>27957930Close that shit! If possible let Antlerman go to hell.
Rolled 68Push Antlerman into the rift instead of us.
I knew this was going to end up like this. At least we didn't lose to fucking aquaman.
>>27957992The sight of your old dwelling causes you to go a tad bit more insane"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE" You scream as you tear open this cancerous sore upon reality "I WANT MOOOOOOOORE"However it begins to drag you inroll1d100 to resist"BOSS HELP" MR.Fritz screams as he grabs onto a branch. the champion of nature appears to be turning into a tree and appears just as afraid(do you wish to send Mr.Fritz back to the cottage y/n)
Rolled 69>>27958100Y Send our champion back.
>>27958115Well it's decided
>>27958115And so we learned to harness the void!
>>27958115Woot first 100
Rolled 69>>27958100Fritz should stay here and witness what we're about to pull off.
Rolled 49>>27958115I salute you sir or madam
>>27958115Void powers get!
>>27958115Bethany the reanimator, lord of trains, master of void, patron god of facial hair and stylish clothing.
>>27958115(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsRh83BXvOE)You snap your fingers, and John vanishes in a puff of black smoke, just as the branch snaps from the hunger of the void. You feel yourself being drawn in, until you hear a familar voice"Reap what you so" the voice says as the world around you turns dark and twisted, with capering demons dancing along the trees and shadows that look like the silhouettes of thugs.*reaping activated*the pull stops, but the void continues to widenWhat do you do. attempt to close the void roll1d100KILL KILL KILL KILL roll1d100 SAVE FLUFFY roll1d100 other
Rolled 31>>27958242>KILL KILL KILL KILL roll1d100Fluffy need no saving
Rolled 32>>27958242PUSH ANTLERMAN INTO THE VOID, THEN CLOSE IT.Fluffy doesn't need saving, he is capable of handling himself.
Rolled 92>>27958242>KILL KILL KILL
Rolled 69>>27958242>[x]KILL KILL KILL KILL roll1d100>>27958287Hah, this is a good day for rolls
Rolled 65>>27958242Save fluffy and open it wider!*insert mad cackling*
Rolled 95>>27958242lets go with a classicKILL KILL KILL KILL
Rolled 23>>27958242I must say, I'm loving the music. Also, stabilize the rift and form an interdimensional trainstation on the spot. "I told you this place would make a FANTASTIC spot for a train station."
>>27958321Supporting this option, but after we should do thi:>>27958387
>>27958387A wonderful idea!
>>27958287You calmly unsheathe the blade within your cane and begin to sprint towards a now horrified looking antler man."YOU FOOL" He shouts "YOU'LL BRING DOOM TOO ALL""I DON'T CARE" YOU SHOUT "AND I CAN FIX IT, I ALWAYS CAN". He's distracted, allowing you to strike freely. You drive your blade into his shoulder and with the force of an angry god, drag it down, leaving a mass of ruined flesh and fabric......Wait, how is he still standingHe swats you away."ARE YOU TRULY SO SELF ABSORBED TO NOT REALIZE THE WORLD WILL DIE IF WE DO NOT STOP THE VOID" He shouts."Like I said" You say cracking your broken jaw back into place "I don't care"Health: Bruisedwhat do you do attack roll1d100 Widen the void somemore, it seems to distract your foe, roll1d100 Kill the champion of nature, roll1d100 other roll1d100
Rolled 9>>27958423>[x] attack roll1d100Finish Him
Rolled 71>>27958423Summon trains from the void, as many as we can manage. Blot out the sky with trains while shouting CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER
Rolled 90>>27958423>attack roll1d100DIE DIE DIE!
Rolled 51>>27958423> laugh as you rip void open
Rolled 5>>27958476this sounds fun especially considering dat earlier 100. Void trains here we come from all kinds of other dimensions and universes.
Rolled 86>>27958476So....summon a train station?
Rolled 39>>27958423Punt the champion of nature to the void and close it.
>>27958526...Why didn't I think of that?
Did our world just break in the first week? Fuck, I hope this thing has a warranty.
>>27958526Train Station to stabilize the rift, prevent the bleed in and begin the Grand Central Nation that will be our realm.
>>27958593>Grand Central Nation
>>27958593Wait. Are we inadvertently trying to add "transportation between dimensions, realities and in-realities" to our portfolio? Because if so I approve.
>>27958646>"...dimensions, realities and un-realities"
>>27958646The Bethany and Co. Party:We Make Sure the Trains Run On Time
Rolled 83>>27958646That's kind of the point of having a trainstation sitting on a rift. Demons, angels or gods doesn't matter.All of them pay must pay for their tickets.
>>27958681*not responsible for any local or systemic disruptions or destruction to space-time or insanity caused by vehicles during operation.
>>27958681People don't pay to get on, but they'll have to pay to get off. The duration of the trip depends how much they are willing to pay.
>>27958479You decide that if you are going to die here, today, you're going to take down as many people with you as possible. You know the void, and you know it, you give it a thumbs up and a wink as it consumes the skies with a screech, which you assume is it doing similar."LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" You shout "BOYS AND GIRLS, HAVE I GOT A SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU TONIGHT". And with that, trains begin to rain from the sky, tearing up the earth beneath it.meanwhile"IT APPEARS TO BE THE END OF DAYS" The old television sputtered out, showing blurry images of trains raining down upon the city. I touched the hole where my eye used to be"Rookie" I say as I prepare to teleport myself to the epicenter of this tragedy "Don't follow me""I ain't leaving you chief" The young man says "If you go down, I'm coming with ya"."I love you rookie" You say as you pat the man on the shoulder as you both jump into hell to stop this mad god."WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S DESTROYING EVERYTHING" You shout to the angel who brought you this news."I'm sorry madam" he says "But it appears Sir Dastardly has gotten into a slight scuffle with nature, and decided to tear reality a new asshole". You grab your sword, This injustice cannot go unabated, and besides, if you must die, at least let it be bringing one as handsome as he to justices."I must go" You say to the gathered shields "The world needs my protection". and with that you fly off too protect those who cannot protect themselves.You look at the window to see a ever widdening hole in reality spread across the sky, you light your pipe and sigh"Godammit boss" You say as you sit down to stare at it.What do you do MORE TRAINS roll1d100 WIDEN THE VOID roll1d100 When did you fellows get here other roll1d100
Rolled 39>>27958818> When did you fellows get here?lets all team up and save the world or something.
>>27958781- Vagrants will be thrown bodily from the train in between stops*- Traveling farther than your payment allows will result in immediate enslavement in service to Bethany & Co. Enterprises, subject to termination without warning.*"Between Stops" implies ejection into the far realms between dimesnions. Survival is guaranteed****State of being is not guaranteed to be pleasant.
Rolled 60>>27958818[X] Suck all the trains back into one central station and contain the void
Rolled 67>>27958818>[x] MORE TRAINS roll1d100Lets create a inter-dimensional train station
>>27958818Aww, no inter-dimensional train station :(>  When did you fellows get here
Rolled 74, 43 = 117>>27958818 MORE TRAINS roll1d100 WIDEN THE VOID roll1d100Fuck it, we're going all the way.
Rolled 64>>27958818>Widen the void
Rolled 45>>27958871>>27958873Rolling in support of these. In the end, we desire order above chaos anyway.
Rolled 16>>27958818>When did you fellows get here>Create inter-dimensional train station, using void engines the trains can cross to other worlds throu the void. The IDTS (inter-dimensional train station) effectively with help of the void stabilizer keeps the void from devouring the world.
Rolled 67>>27958915>>27958873>>27958871Super train station!
Rolled 74>>27958818TRAINS FOR THE TRAIN GOD!  MORE TRAINS roll1d100Keep raining trains until somebody fucking fixes your coat.
>>27958896"When did you fellows get here?" You ask as you give the void the signal for more trains"When you started" The say in unison"Destroying the world""Bringing upon the end of days""Harming the innocent""The old woman called me""I AM HERE TO HELP YOU BOSS""YOU ARE DESTROYING MY CITY" a man with a crown, that appears to be embedded in his head screams"Interesting" You say as you begin to fiddle with the borders of the void, maiking it grow even larger "Now run along, I am currently fighting this bloke right here. It is then you see various sharp, blunt, and burning objects fly towards youroll5d100
Rolled 58, 16, 53, 32, 16 = 175>>27958989Rolling for Dodge
Rolled 11>>27958818Since we get a bonus by being near trains, being at the comic center of all trainity should give us some sort of boost yes?
>>27958932note the void is currently around the size of a large cityit would require a godly roll to close that shit now, or a sacrificein other words, why didn't you stop it sooner
Rolled 52, 49, 92, 27, 98 = 318>>27958989
Rolled 58, 42, 18, 88, 21 = 227>>27958989"You know, if certain somebody hadn't refused to fix the goddamn coat that she broken, none of this would be happening."
Rolled 3>>27958818> OtherStabilize the portal so we can build an interreality nexus there.
Rolled 65, 60, 5, 96, 86 = 312>>27958989It's the end of days I guess let's see where the dice lands.
Rolled 67, 57, 1, 96, 26 = 247>>27958989
>>27959018train tracks, the void is just kind of shitting them out
Rolled 4, 55, 4, 98, 1 = 162>>27958989Now would be a fucking awesome time to get quad 100's
>>27959021We are a classic evil cartoon villain, Its not our job to stop voids closing. In fact its exactly the opposite.
>>27959021Clearly grand central staion is the size of the city then.
>>27959021Because that fucking bitch tore our coat and didn't have the common courtesy to at least fix it.
Rolled 86, 10, 40, 19, 30 = 185>>27958989shits going down
Rolled 8, 7, 85, 27, 7 = 134>>27959021>>27958387>>27958526>>27958593>>27958646>>27958703>>27958873>>27958932I think we've been trying to make that station for quite a while now :P>Dodging
Rolled 91, 50, 43, 99, 7 = 290"I want to get off mr bethany's wild ride"
>>27959066>We are a classic evil cartoon villain, Its not our job to stop voids *opening*. In fact its exactly the opposite.
>>27959021COAT IS STILL TORN, fuck world need coat.
>>27959075>>27959078It's obviously time to use the gods as building bricks for the Grand Central Station then.
>>27959022A bolt of lightning grazes you, as does a spear shrouded in sunlight.You dodge a flying shield.but get swatted aside by a root covered in slime.You bring your foot down upon the man you can only assume is the king. The bearded fellow is currently punching the champion of nature in the face and screaminghealth: injuredWhat do you do choke the life out of him king more lie princess other
>>27959146Turn him into the building blocks for the grand central station.
>>27959146[X] king more lie princessOne for the great sacrifise for grand central station.
>>27959146>King more like princess>Team up with justice to right wrongs (make her seal the void and convince her it's all natures fault. (Stealing our subjects is injustice)
>>27959170A grand idea!
>>27959146>Scream that if someone doesn't fix your damn coat right now you will keep spreading Voidbro
>>27959146>[x] king more like princessThis is Madness
Rolled 77>>27959146Transform the king into a little girl and ride a train to the void. It's either that or be butchered by everybody around here.
>>27959225Madness you say?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ovvCZ0ktw0
>>27959210Oh, I like thisThis whole thing started because a certain somebody tore our coat and didn't bother fixing it.
>>27959235"KING?" You shout to the panicking man "MORE LIKE PRINCESS". You dig your fingers into his neck as you give him the MISSY brand punishment as the world is torn apart around you. You begin to laugh as he flails around in your grip before the change takes effectroll1d100 to dodge an incoming strike
>>27959191Supporting this.it's a good point actually, the reason this started was because Viviane broke the contract we made with her, destroyed our property, and betrayed us. That's injustice right there, right on down the New York Line.
and so, the lord of trains, god that was first day in his job accidently the whole worldbecause a bitch refused to fix his coat
Rolled >>27959314Wish we just turn him into building blocks instead so he can be a sacrifice for the grand central station. We could have inter-dimensional monsters by now.
>>27959351You kind of just bound her to yourself, never really forced her to sign anything
Rolled 88>>27959373>>27959314Fuck that up my bad
>>27959373We can still do that.
>>27959397It was a verbal contract.
>>27959406Yeah but we need the other gods to pull that off too. Well better get to work
>>27959373It can still be done!
>>27959373Bingo. Everyone knows that princesses make the best sacrifices to the void and the best foundations for reality-nexus train hubs.
>>27959397Didn't she say "I'll do ANYTHING if you release me" and then when we released her, and she was about to attack us, we named the condition of her servitude as payment?
>>27959340"DIE YOU SON OF A BITCH" The one eyed man shouts as he attempts to bring down a god with a feeble spell. You step out of the way, smiling as it slams into an angel who appeared to be trying to stab you from behind. You drop the princess and she proceeds to start crying in fear. Causing them to start focusing on each other instead of you.The void is fuck huge"WHY HASN'T ANYONE FIXED MY COAT" You yell as reality screams in painWhat do you do attack someone roll1d100 Help Brian kill the champion of nature make light conversation other
>>27959498Yea and we weren't exactly immortal at that time either, so it was hardly an unreasonable payment. Mostly going to involve fixing coats and whatnot.
>>27959498I forgot about that, but you also tortured her, which isn't exactly just
>>27959517>[x] otherWe got to tie princess to some rails.
Rolled 45>>27959517>Sacrifice champion of nature to stabilize/shrink the damn void.
>>27959517Turn the Champion of nature into a sacrifice for the grand central station. Might as well grab princess King as well. A champion and a princess should make a decent foundation.
Rolled 29>>27959517>>27959589I agree!
Rolled 23>>27959543What happens in the cabin STAYS in the cabin.>>27959575Supporting this.
>>27959517>make light conversationchat with justice, now seems like a good time to flirt.
Rolled 6>>27959517>>27959589Sounds good.
Rolled 70>>27959575Use the champion as the sacrifice, bind the "King" as our adorable ticket-mistress.
>>27959517>>27959589I support this. It would alos be nice to have a conversation with Justice about justice.
Rolled 9>>27959589>>27959517Might as well roll for my own suggestion.
>>27959517Mind if I ask for one quick clarification regarding the Void? We talking empty yet almost alive and nihilistic Oblivion here or more a Space between Things which may or may not contain a host of Lovecraftian horrors? Or something else? (Asking because where the fuck did the trains come from if nothing's in there?)
>>27959517>>27959624Changing my vote to this
>>27959637When you were in it, there was nothing, at all, except for the not devil. It is between all realites, so if you get sucked inside it you'll pop up somewhere else, eventually, though mad as a hatter. or perhaps you'll be rebornits the void, it does as it pleases
Rolled 82>>27959624This seems entertaining and villainous. Still, I doubt we can pull it off.
>>27959669Excellent. We do not guarantee the sanity of our railway's passengers.
>>27959624Let's go with this. Time for a blind shot
>just walk in>everyones cheering for bringing about the end of days and destroying reality itself>bethany has gone full BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONEWHAT IN THE FUCK ARE WE DOING? JESUS CHRIST STOP THIS SHIT NOW.
>>27959705You grab nature's champion away from the bearded man, and toss him at the void in an attempt to appease it. It does not close, or shrink, and the foul smelling champion seems to be torn apart the second he touches it"Ticket girl, why didn't it work" You as the kingcess, who responds by blubbering at the sight of the end of all things. useless you think as you stop a blade and toss its user into the voidwhat do you do attack someone roll1d100 Try to close the void (noble sacrifice) other
construct a train through the void, so that we can enter, leave, and traverse it as we please. And more importantly, send people there.Then knock Vivian into the void and close the rupture by filling it with trains.
>>27959749I don't know, it all went to shit when they tried to summon a second train. but yes, reality is most likely fucked, well this one anyways
Rolled 24>>27959752close this shit holy fuck what are we doing guys?
>>27959752Fuck this world time to jump into another.
Rolled 67>>27959769>this reality is fucked, not all of themONTO THE NEXT ONE, THE MULTIVERSE RAILWAY HAS NO BREAKS!
Rolled 91>>27959749We've been trying.>>27959752> Other"Fellow Deities! Let us put aside these petty squabbles and focus on what's important - transportation. We must band together to stabilize the rift, or it will destroy us as the insane Nature god intended. Stand with me, I already have a Ticket Girl!"
>>27959752>[x] Try to close the void (noble sacrifice)Villian doing a noble Sacrifice? We going Vader I guess
>>27959752Ok, who are we planning to convince to noble sacrifice themself to fix our tantrum wrought reality hole?
Rolled 73>>27959752Call all the gods to fix the damn thing.
>>27959803Can't argue with that.
transform the gaping hole to the void into a little girl.
>>27959803Perfect, you have my cane.
>>27959824I don't know
>>27959803Support I guess.
>>27959803Bethany you smooth mofo."Brothers and sisters, we must lay down the tracks of friendship and create a station of unity. A station that will host the trains of equality for all deities, and represent a doorway to other worlds. Other worlds that we can bring our pantheon to, how does that sound?"
>>27959803So would founding Reality Rails give us a power boost I wonder
>>27959844and my moustache.Ok, not my moustache, but you may touch my moustache.
>>27959858If that speech doesn't convince Justice to noble sacrifice herself to staunch the Wound (on reality) I don't know what will. Do it.
>>27959769We are a cheesy cartoon villain. This exactly what one of them would try to do before they get stopped by the good guys.
>>27959824The Sheild obviously, innocent people sucked into the void etc.
>>27959871I call it - Grand Central Deification...
>>27959898but we like justice.>>27959905this works.
>>27959905yeah, the Shield is the most likely option given the consequences of NOT closing the rift - but if everyone joins their powers together he might not need to. All the gods are pretty bro except for nature.
>>27959955Nature's going to get even mader. Perect.
>>27959955Yes, well, nature is human's worst enemy.
>>27959955Wouldn't nature technically hate ALL gods except herself, as they unbalance the natural order simply by existing?
>>27959803"Fellow Deities! Let us put aside these petty squabbles and focus on what's important - transportation. We must band together to stabilize the rift, or it will destroy us as the insane Nature god intended. Stand with me, I already have a Ticket Girl!" You say as you dodge a flying shield and bolt of lightning"AVAST HERETIC" A familiar voice screams"Oh hello sir knight" you say as you norrowley avoid a thrown Missy "I do not like domestic abuse by the way"."Are you trying to tell me nature would attempt to kill itself" a large floating towershield asks "Bah, lies, all of it"."He started it, I was simply trying to procure my lost property" you says as you dodge a hail of spears"YOU MEAN MY DAUGHTER" He screams as he tries to squash you with a large tree."Yes, and I am not sorry" You say "Now justice, can't you see that it is his fault"."You kidnapped my daughter" he says trying to crush you again"You broke my train""You killed my champion""He was already dead inside""YOU STARTED THE APOCALYPSE" "I was drunk with rage and power""WILL BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP" Justice screams "I don't care at this point which one of you retarded man children tore reality a new anus, but it is going to consume EVERYTHING IF WE DON'T CLOSE IT".What do you do  agree nature is distracted, THROW HIM INTO THE VOID roll1d100 Bah, keep fighting roll1d100 other
>>27960008Yup. At least she hasn't pulled a Gaia (that we know of) yet.
>>27960013>"YOU STARTED THE APOCALYPSE">"I was drunk with rage and power"10/10 MC of the year.
>>27960013> agree"No reprisals? Deal."
>>27960013>[x] agreeExcellent, lets see what we can do to fix that, I got so much nice stuff I'd hate to lose in this reality
Rolled 7>>27960013>nature is distracted, THROW HIM INTO THE VOID roll1d100>attempt to close the damn void
>>27960013Agree.> "Are you trying to tell me nature would attempt to kill itself" a large floating towershield asks "Bah, lies, all of it"."Have you heard of the heat death of the universe? Nature has been trying to kill itself FOREVER."> "WILL BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP""Alright, but only because I have a soft spot for young ladies in armor. Also, you know you're going to have to punish your former Paladin, spousal abuse is never just."
Rolled 11[X] nature is distracted, THROW HIM Into the Void roll1d100I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
>>27960013> agree"Though honestly what kind of god leaves his daughter trapped in a lake for several centuries and then teaches her such poor manners that she immediately tries to murder the person who frees them? Honestly, most people would have killed the ungrateful bitch."
>>27960119She didn't even have the common courtesy to fix our coat after tearing it.
>>27960140Poor child rearing skills all around really.
Rolled 48>>27960013>Nature is distracted, THROW HIM INTO THE VOID roll1d100This feeds the void also kills one of those needed for fixing shit. Perfect.[inser remarks about paladin spouse abuse and father leaving his daughter bound to a lake]
>>27960085"Agreed, I have far to many nice things here to lose it" You say"I will end you Defiler" Nature says"You have harmed far to many innocents today, but we can save many more" the shield saysJustice says nothing"BOSS, LET ME AID YOU" The bearded man says"are we really trusting the sociopathic cartoon character" The one eye man asked."Bah, he's the one who ripped it open" justices says "he may be able to close it""Or he'll throw us all into it" Nature says"I will kill your daughter" You say as you fly up to the void "The ungrateful bitch, I free her and what does she do, tear my coat and stain my wall". The void appears to have grown teethand countless arms, how exciting. It is jamming justice's angels into itself, their screams a choir unto themselveroll1d100 to avoid being grabbed
>>27960155Indeed, the only reason why social services haven't taken her is because her dad is a god.
>>27960119Clearly the apocalypse started because nature is a bad parent.
Rolled 75>>27960172The void is nothig to the god of trains
Rolled 58GUYSWE ARE THE BAD GUYWHY ARE WE SAVING THE DAY?
Rolled 25>>27960172Hoo-boy. We havent used our refill yet, right?
>>27960200You can betray the other gods
Rolled 24>>27960172Move like a butterfly
>>27960200You say saving the day, but I say taming the void in order to create the greatest train staion known to man.
Rolled 74>>27960172ROLL THE F out of D
Rolled 94>>27960172Oh Boy here we go
>>27960200Because we also have an unprecedented sense of self preservation.
>>27960200Because it costs us more than it gains us to let this world be devoured.
>>27960200because this is a giant clusterfuck that we want over with as soon as possible?
Rolled 7>>27960172this could have all been avoided if she just fixed the coat
>>27960200Because the void smells of butts and dead people. Here we have nice clothes and everything.
Rolled 44I say we team up with the void.I'm sure it doesn't have any efficient means of transportation, something we would be able to provide it.
>>27960228That, gentlemen, is an inter-dimensional train station in the works. Ticket-girl, one round-trip pass to Planescape please.
>>27960200Cause if we don't save this world, then we can't get get sacrifices for our train powers
>>27960184You zip through the sky, narrowley avoid several clawed hands. Almost there, almost there. one grabs your leg, but you kick it off. The other gods aren't doing as well, perhaps because they did spend so much time with the damn thing.What do you do Help a god (who) roll1d100 help the void catch a god (who) roll1d100 watch
>>27960200Because the world is a cake and we're the one that gets to eat it. NOT THE FUCKING VOID! Ya got me?
>>27960260Help out Justice
Rolled 32>>27960260[X] Help a god (all of them. Even the bad parent nature)
Rolled 100>>27960260 Help a god (who) roll1d100JUSTICE
>>27960260>Help a god (who) roll1d100Justice
>>27960284I guess she lives.
Rolled 92, 54 = 146>>27960260Help justice."Accidentally" fuck up for nature while helping justice
>>27960284WELP! Crises averted everyone.
>>27960284Huh. Ok then.
>>27960284That's a nice roll there bro, I've seen you around. You're good att rolling,
Rolled 79>>27960260>help the void catch a god (who) roll1d100Nature"oops"
>>27960284I'm gonna leave this alone, Villainously Heroic Damsel Rescue here we come!
>>27960284oh yey, we saving our waifu
Rolled 41>>27960260 Help a god (Justice) roll1d100ObviouslyWhose paladins are we going to mess with if she dies?
>>27960301...you realize that if we actually do manage to kill him without controlling the circumstance there's a good chance we might a) kill the planet's life support system or b) pass his divinity to his daughter...who the other gods will probably prevent from being returned to our employ since that could give us too much power...glorious power...
>>27960348She is still bound to us, is she not?
>>27960284"No one gets to imperil Justice except ME! And I only plan to tie her to my train tracks as part of consentual* role play!"*for a given value of consent...
>>27960381Nah, she escaped.
>>27960381She escaped, leading to this whole incident.
>>27960381>implying she can escape being bound>implying we arn't setting ourselves up to basically become supergod>implying we have ever given up a singular flying fuck what the other gods think of us.
>>27960395This really has been an incredible train wreck hasn't it?
>>27960381Not strongly enough for it to survive the power surge. The pantheon would have to come to a consensus to shackle her back to us, and I don't really see that happening.
I can hear the newspapersboys already> Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly destroys the world in pursuit of fae trying to escape!No one gets away.
>>27960411>implying this isn't what happens when you become a super villain with enough free reign and left alone to his own devicesremember kids, kill the heroes early and you too can be a dastardy god of villany.
>>27960411No pun intended, of course.Another legitimate reason not to let this run its course is that we can't really take more than cursory credit for it. If we end the world, i want it to be a long, tortuous, diabolical plot. Not a cosmic accident.
>>27960284(http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=gVok-7tDFF8)Justice, the antithesis of yourself, is in the process of being dragged into the void, her armor vanishing from existence as it tries to consume her. Well this can't do, who else will inspire heroes to kill you. the world would be boring with out clearly defined black and white morality. You smile as you dart between the forest of arms, ignoring the various champions of nature and wizards that are getting devoured by the void like a fat man devours sweets. You dance around the captured goddess, your unholy flames burning the hands of nothingness around her, your blade cutting her free from her binds. She falls into your arms. She tries to say something but you don't pay attention as it appears you have landed yourself in the epicenter of everything."Say doll, care for a dance?" You ask, grabbing her arms and spinning her around."W..w...what?!" she shouts her face turning rose red as you dance away from the horde of hands with gnashing teeth. The world is dieing and you are dancing with the god who opposes you, how quaint. Your divine powers flare as you are both surrounded. You know she is quite pretty, and this will most likely piss off a great deal of people this way.Do you kiss the embodiment of justicey/n
>>27960438I think he's making a pun.
"HAH! He doesn't even have followers.""Be nice, it's his first day in the job.""OH MY GOD WHAT IS HE DOING!""IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!"
>>27960466Meanwhile somewhere, Vorg is laughing his ass off
>>27960457Like there is any other choice: Yes.
Rolled 85>>27960457Y like the french!
>>27960457YGotta put that 100 to use.
>>27960457>yNew World Order Baby
>>27960457Steal a kiss yes. We are a villain after all.
>>27960457>Y"You know, this is my first time, but this is always how the heroes did it when they rescued my damsels from the tracks.
>>27960457Yes, but keep it classy since we still have a reality to save (for later exploitation and subjugation).
>>27960457>Do it faggotLike a sir
>>27960519You know, from a certain perspective, Bethany has a solid sense of Justice. I mean, it's warped out of all proportion, but it's pretty consistent.Maybe that's why Justice is inexplicably drawn to the 'Stache. We're just that bad boy - from the wrong side of the tracks - that she can try to change.
>>27960499What *IS* that fat asshole doing?
>>27960502You stare into the blushing goddess' eyes and lean in close, feeling her trembling. You kiss her, as the universe screams in the wrongness of what you are doing, from both of you explode pure power, neither good or eviltrue neutral. it wipes away the hands around you. You have saved the embodiment of justice. But the neutral blast seems to have pushed the others closer to their doomswhat do you do save a god(who) roll1d100 doom a god (who) wait why is the hungering void doing here......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FUCK
>>27960585>[x] wait why is the hungering void doing here......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FUCKStill need to deal with that noise
>>27960579He is watching while laughing his ass off.Vorg gives no fucks about what is happening.
>>27960579he is called the hungering rage, I forgot that in the post, and he may have turned coat seeing as he like the void wish to eat everything
>>27960594>>27960594not sure as my brain feels like its about to implode
Rolled 66>>27960585This is how god-babies are made.>Doom nature "accidentaly".
>>27960585> wait why is the hungering void doing here......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FUCK
Rolled 21>>27960585Try to harness the power of neutrality to further weaken the rift.
>>27960585"Hey, that seemed to work out pretty well for the world didn't it? Want to try it again?"
Rolled 58>>27960585> doom a god (who)ALL OF THEM(but us and out waifu)
Rolled 10>>27960585 wait why is the hungering void doing here......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FUCK"Volg, you realize that there's nothing the EAT in the void. Your eternal hunger will go unsated if this world is damned to oblivion."*Haunted stare*"Believe me, I know...."
>>27960585[X] Save them alll (Even the bad parent)
Rolled 19>>27960585 save a god(who) roll1d100ALL
Rolled 98>>27960585I guess killing them off would be a bit lame, we wouldn't have anything to aspire to if we killed them all.Save them!
>>27960692And that is that. Plus this. >>27960644
>>27960692We are truly a lawful evil.
>>27960591"Is...Vorg trying to eat the....void" You wonder out loud as the world bends as whoever is writing this story lines brain briefly explodes. You can't quite tell what's going on, the neutral explosion and Justice embracing you making everything hard to make outTwo voices in your head scream at you too doom your fellow gods and save them, furthering the headache caused by the truest of neutralswhat do you do Vorg ....has to bee trying to eat the void, help him Vorg is trying to merge with the void it looks like throw a god at him to make him stop MYSELF DAMN MY HEAD other
>>27960692I think "Pick One" precludes all. If this gentleman doesn't want to pick, I'd say Lady of Rot.
Rolled 50>>27960585Doom the nature champion/terrible father figure.
>>27960727his/ her champion got eaten by the void when you threw him into it
>>27960716 Vorg ....has to bee trying to eat the void, help him"Volg! The Void is your competition! IT WANTS TO EAT EVERYTHINg *YOU* WANT TO EAT!"
Rolled 24>>27960716> Vorg is trying to merge with the void it looks like throw a god at him to make him stopToss the Shield Captain America style
Rolled 9>>27960716If vorg succeeds in eating the void, he might end up too powerful for us to handle.Then again, that would give us something fun to do later. Help him get rid of the void for now
Rolled 56>>27960716>>27960751Yes, tell captain america to hold him off while we gather everyone.
Rolled 26>>27960716 Vorg ....has to bee trying to eat the void, help himYou have to chew before you swallow.
Rolled 47>>27960716focus the neutral explosion on the VOID. beat it back and save the other gods.
>>27960716>Ask Vorg what he's doing.
>>27960832Well....that works too.
Rolled 58>>27960716See if you can "Neutralize" the void with Justice.
>>27960832Genious, why didn't I think of that.
>>27960747"Vorg?!" You as through the pain of a god headache "WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK ARE YOU DOING". he replies with feedback similar to a broken speaker"What I didn't quite catch that" You ask again"*static* The void *static" He says "Have to *static* The void*""Ok" You say clutching your head"You alright?" Justice asks."Well I feel like my entire trip to Mexico" You answer.well vorg is doing something to the void.Reality is groaning in pain, the void fills most of the sky, the end of days is nearwhat do you RALLY FORTH, IF WE ARE TO DIE WE ARE TO DIE TOGETHER (charge the void with the power of seven gods)Villainy bomb roll1d100  Kiss justice and charge the void, pure neutrality seems to hurt nothingness Try and stop whatever the fuck vorg is doing roll1d100 Other
Rolled 100>>27960884Villainy bomb time to go out with a boom. Also make sure to apologize to Justice for not having the time to have a nice cup of tea.
>>27960884>[X] RALLY FORTH, IF WE ARE TO DIE WE ARE TO DIE TOGETHER (charge the void with the power of seven gods)While kissing justice all the way.
>>27960906Hell of a boom there.
>>27960906What is up with all these 100s today?
>>27960906That feel when I had the strange feeling I was going to roll a 100 and it happened. Yes dice goddess and gods I will return alright. I get the message.
>>27960884>Kiss justice and charge the void, pure neutrality seems to hurt nothingnessGo full lewd kiss on her.
>>27960884 Kiss justice and charge the void, pure neutrality seems to hurt nothingnessThe answer to nothingness, is everything-ness.
>>27960906Oh boy, here we go
>>27960884> Kiss justice and charge the void, pure neutrality seems to hurt nothingness
>>27960906I'm gonna vote for this because I don't want to waste that roll. It's gonna be hella good.
>>27960906So you guys alright with suicide bombing the void?
Rolled 31>>27960953As long as we survive.
>>27960906What the hell does villainy bomb even mean in this context?
>>27960961You will, just maybe not in this world
>>27960953I'm not liking the sound of that 'suicide' word. Ah what the hell go for it. No Regrets
Rolled 75>>27960953Killing ourself for the greater good doesn't seem villainish. We need to PROFIT on this somehow.Not suicide, we simply blow it up.
>>27960953I'd prefer not to really. Is there anything in the rules that says that we have to use a roll for what someone suggests?
>>27960953I figured with that roll we should somehow survive like any true cartoon villain style.>>27960968As long as the boom creates that train station of ours. Big Bang style.
>>27960953I dont think there is alot left of the world anyway.
>>27960953We're a villain, not someone with a martyr complex, so I take exception to the use of the word "suicide" there.
>>27960968>Turn Nature into the bomb
>>27960953Would rather we rally the gods to seal the as I rather like this world.
>>27960953shit, suicide?... meh why not.
Void is pigRemove void from premises
Rolled 18>>27960988I'd rather not suicide to be honest. Neutralize the balls out of void with Justice
>>27960971>>27960988Fair enough, change my vote to rallying the gods
>>27960968No deal. Maybe we could cause a series of neutral explosions by convincing the other gods to make out with their alignment opposites? I guess nature's screwed (alresdy neutral) though...oh well.
>>27960988I tend to agree with the Captain. Rally the gods and seal the void!If possible use their power to create the train station.
>>27960953Yeah, I''d rather not shuffle off just yet, we still have a train station to build. I would support this though:>>27960985
>>27960953>not simply just just draining the void into powering us.
>>27960977I don't think that's been mentioned before? Pretty sure when we roll 1's we're screwed regardless of whether we want something else.
>>27960990>>27960953Changing my vote, Suicide seems like a really stupid thing to do now that I think about it.
>>27960953Alternatively, we could "Suicide" bomb ourselves, throwing us into another world. our goal? Use our villainous powers to create a train route all the way back to our first love - Justice.
>>27960906You look at the void, it is going to consume everything, Vorg appears to be failing at whatever he is doing, the lady of rot floats by like a bloated corpse. The void seems to laugh at you, as it appears to have dealt with most if not all of the other gods, while you were trying to figure out what was going on.Last chance, what do you do to kill this son of a bitch charge the void alone (removes void and bethany from this reality, this is what I meant by suicide bomb) Justice and Villainy will go out together (removes void, justice and Bethany from this world) Try and rally the other gods, despite a good deal of them appearing dead other
>>27961074> Justice and Villainy will go out together (removes void, justice and Bethany from this world)
>>27961074> Justice and Villainy will go out together (removes void, justice and Bethany from this world)Kidnap this Princess
>>27961074[x] Justice and Villainy will go out together (removes void, justice and Bethany from this world)
Rolled 51, 77, 55, 57, 77 = 317>>27961074>Turn all gods (except from justice) into mega villain bombs. Here, you can even have a roll.
>>27961074> Justice and Villainy will go out together (removes void, justice and Bethany from this world)Did you even need to ask?"My lady, I'm afraid there are no brakes on this train. You now have a ticket to RIDE!"
>>27961124It would have been funny to leave and then come back.
>>27961136>Returns to current world from world 2.0>Huge cult following of the god of gods Bethany>No one remembers justice
Rolled 30>>27961074 charge the void alone (removes void and bethany from this reality, this is what I meant by suicide bomb) otherSpawn a train and ride through the void back to the world even if it takes a hundred years. I trust that Fritz, being our champion, is ageless and the undead lady also will be there when we get back.
>>27961074Spawn a train then ride into the void. Our train shall hold all our people and even our hide out.
>>27961214>>27961239we caused this whole mess with excessive train spawning.
>>27961256Which is why it shall be perfect and deliciously ironic to end it on such a note.
>>27961096(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puheqbY6aGM&list=PLD9odiDYXGOvN65yz5q946xYLu0Sg0HuJ&index=18 Begins to play)You look at the void and smile"My lady, I'm afraid there are no brakes on this train. You now have a ticket to RIDE!" You say."What?" She asks"Look, the only thing that seems to hurt that thing appears to be us, together" you say causing her to blush "SO I MUST ASK MY DEAR LADY, MAY I HAVE THIS ONE FINALE DANCE". She smiles and wraps her hands around yours."Fine, you devil" she says kissing you."Marvelous" You say as your divine powers combine together. You rocket towards the void, Opposites entwined by fate.The void gapes before you, you close your eyes as you near it, hugging justice close. You feel the familar nothingness around you before....*KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*the world shakes as a grey light streaks across the sky into the void, both the light and it vanishing with a massive boom."JESUS CHRIST" The one eyed man shouts, dodging bits of train with his rookie"BOSS" John Fritz shouts as he feels your power leaving him "DON'T LEAVE ME". Miss smith smiles as she is released from Bethany's spell and she passes a finale timeAbomination cries for his lost master as he falls apart.Nature stares, cold tears running down its faceGods mourn there fallenand the world goes on, The two gods of morality gone from it, which turns out solves several problems.Meanwhile in the voidYou can feel yourself growing weaker, justice seems worse for the wear as well. You can see your divinity tearing a way as you trudge towards opening in the black nothingness"Come on don't die on me" You beg as you near a new world as you and your opposite begin to fade, you reach out to touch....Which portal A land of forgotten things (gensokyo) A land of that looks like the other (BETHANY"S BIZZARE ADVENTURE) a land of heroes and villains (Albion) a wasteland in eternal war (fallout) other
>>27961281>[x] a land of heroes and villains (Albion)Villains need a God of Villianry
Rolled 100>>27961281Albion, time to show ourselves the true villain / anti-hero of yet another universe!
>>27961281> A land of that looks like the other (BETHANY"S BIZZARE ADVENTURE)EVEN SPEEDWAGON IS AFRAID!
>>27961281> a wasteland in eternal war (fallout)We will bring Ordered Disorder to an irradiated wasteland.New Emblem!
>>27961281God damn my head hurts like hell
>>27961281You crazy son of a bitch, now I'm all indecisive. All the conceptual shenanigans Touhou entails is just bad for business, but on the other hand, I really want to screw with the moonbitches.
>>27961281> a land of heroes and villains (Albion)
Rolled 44>>27961281> A land of that looks like the other (BETHANY"S BIZZARE ADVENTURE)IT"S TIME FOR DEM STANDS AND RIPPLES.
Rolled 90>>27961281>] a land of heroes and villains (Albion)
>>27961281>The world of Kanto (and other places) poké that monster
>>27961281>>27961312Albion is clearly the only choice now.
Rolled 84>>27961312The god of villainy has arrived, and we are here to upset the balance of this puny world by locomotion!
>>27961324I really, really want it to be this one, even have a stand name picked out. But it seems albion is winning>>27961317BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
>>27961312I bow to the wisdom of the dice gods
>>27961281> A land of that looks like the other (BETHANY"S BIZZARE ADVENTURE)
>>27961281Gotta vote for the JoJo, despite the nat100.
>>27961343I would save it for the next eventual jump, I think it'll be more appropriate anywho.
>>27961312Works for me.
Rolled 89I'm certain that Brando and Villian would get along swimmingly.
>>27961312You hand begins to fade away as you touch a world that looks like the stories your mother used to tell you. as your finger touches it you and justice fade into nothingness, you very beings entering the new world, to be rebornmeanwhilein a small village, a child is bornwhile in a large castle another is born on the same momentThe one in the village is destined for terribly great thingswhere is this child born and what is its gender?
>>27961407You will have another chance to go jojoBut sadly Albion won, besides this gives me time to refine ittheNEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHE will have to wait
Rolled 29>>27961416LARGE CASTLEMALE
>>27961452DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO WHAT I SAIDWHAT SMALL VILLAGE HAS A GODSDAMN CASTLE
>>27961471The best kind.
>>27961416Male and is in a small village a continent away.
>>27961472I meant what kind of village
>>27961471Female for shenanigans
>>27961471I think he wanted to be the reincarnation of Justice instead of Bethany. Could be wrong.
Rolled 96>>27961490The big castle kind.
>>27961485Knothole glade anyone? that is the one with a shit tons OF BALVERINES right?
>>27961416>Male>A small logging village
>>27961490A small village on another continent that is basically on the frontier of a great empire.
>>27961490Ah. I know nothing about this setting, so what's the tech level like?
>>27961514Fuck yes, those things are fucking scary.
>>27961523>>27961523depends on the game
>>27961416In a small, but successful haberdashery in a seaside village called "Burberry".Female
>>27961471Location as in which village or location as in what part of the village? Because If it's just part of village, I'm voting that both of them end up as children of rivaling blacksmiths. One that's hellbent on creating more deadlier weapons. Other that's obsessed with creating the finest armor.
>>27961490Dunno, but we were born in a train as it pulled in to the station.
>>27961523depends on the game
>>27961514Or that could work. It's been awhile since I have played in this setting.
>>27961523Depends if we're coming in Fable 1,2, or 31 = Medieval2 = Pre-industrial3 = Industrial
Rolled 11Clearly they are meant to be born in rival castles, a romeo and juliet of medieval times.
>>27961490Frontier village in a previously thought lost land that supposedly once died long time ago. Turned out it didn't and time has healed the wounds from so long ago. That once struck down such a mighty empire that it had an entire continent on its knees and the world as toy. It fell once to take down a terrible threat that almost conquered the entire world.
>>27961514Fuck yes, arenas and smacking Balverines with a cane.
>>27961542......that is perfect.
>>27961416Male, born in the train station of a frontier town.
>>27961549Personally, I liked the setting on the first fable the best.
>>27961523Game 1 - Straight high fantasy MedievalGame 2 - Edge of gunpowder.Game 3 - Magical Renaissance
>>27961514Know what, I approve of that option
>>27961547On the island of knothole glade, a child is born, a child with destiny. A child surround by beasts that used to be menthis child is called?
>>27961549Anyone who didn't pick the "Love" option to get your dog back in 2 was a monster.
Rolled 3>>27961581Dirk, danger
>>27961514oh shit we in fable,>immediately charm locals by chicken dancing and farting at them.
>>27961542Perfect. Even if trains aren't invented yet, one appears, drops off the child and then the train vanishes.
>>27961592Crisis Danger, future villain-hero of Albion
>>27961595Everyone ok with Gunther Dastardlyor perhaps Gunter Bethany Dastardly?or would you just like to jam all the god damn choices together again?
>>27961581Same as last time, except now it's "the fourth" instead of "the third"
>>27961640Everything plus Gunther, now IV.
>>27961639I like Gunthar B. Dastardly.
>>27961542This sounds good a ghost train which mystriously pulled into the village stopping. There a mewling baby was deposited after which the train pulled out a strange wail was released as it vanished.
>>27961640I like it!
>>27961652SO Gunter Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly the forth?
>>27961657Know one may not have even known that it was a train just a strange eerie metal contraption. The babe name was determined by looking at its cane that came with on which it was written.>>27961672that sounds good.
>>27961672I agree with this
>>27961639Ulrich Gunther Bethany Dastardly von Överhaü
>>27961672Sounds about right to me. Maybe add this >>27961657 to how we were born.
>>27961672or do we remove gunther like the void
>>27961640"Most babies grow hair on their head, and not of their lip till a good deal later. not the future Hero of Albion though, oh no! He was waxing his tips before he learned to walk. His mother, as would become a trend, was very disappointed."
>>27961697Nope, this name will grow every time we reincarnate. We must also collect a damsel for every realm with visit.
>>27961697Gunther could be our given name. However, ever since we could speak we INSISTED that we're called Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly the fourth?
>>27961697Nah, I like Gunther.
>>27961672Dick Vilain Gunther Dastardly the fourth
>>27961725this is pretty funny
>>27961725Sounds good to me.
In This Quest:we were a washed up villainwe then proceeded to say fuck it and became godThen we broke reality for shits and gigglesthen we got what we wanted by literally courting Justice and fixed reality but we and justice reincarnate.now we are literally the exac same guy, but the 4th.i vote we get ready to deal with weird flashbacks of once being a god and trying hard to reclaim that power.also mustache twirler, your awesome and should feel awesome.
>>27961725"When the little Hero was found by his adoptive parents, they named him Gunter - completely against the wishes of the Universe, which had placed the child's name on a neat tag in his basket. As soon as he learned to speak, he corrected the error to all that would listen - and received a spanking from his mother after every instance."
>>27961775This. Keep the backstory coming!
>>27961694His name is Gunter Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly. or at least the note left with him in his basket when the iron beast vomited him out said it was. Strangely the beast vanished into the trees like a phantom after the child was found by a single woman who for some godamn reason was wondering about outside the walls of knothole village like a shitShe did not know, the child in her arms held a great AND TERRIBLE DESTINYmeanwhile a daughter was born in a castle far away on the mainland, she was called Astraia Grey. this is the tale of two fate intertwined, a tale a villainy and justice, this is the tale of a washed up hero and VillainEnd of part 1http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL2u5Xy-38c&feature=player_detailpageSo what do you think so far?
>>27961775ah so we would still have mommy issues. Oh this fits so well with the mysterious ghost train and everything!Our favorite weapon is worth noting is a 'cursed' cane that can shift its form between a sword and a strange metal contraption(minigun) that releases a strange constant stream of cursed killing metal.
>>27961801Always a pleasure, are you done for the night?
>>27961801This is rapidly becoming my favorite Crack Quest. Keep it up, I'm excited to see what we can get up to now that we have an entwined destiny going on.
>>27961801If I had my wallet on me I would be throwing money at you MT.
>>27961821I've had a headache for the past hour or soso yes
>>27961801this feels good, i like where this quest is heading and where it keeps going.
>>27961823We gonna tie her to the train tracks of our love, only to rescue her from the speeding locomotive of Destiny!
>>27961834glad you like it
>>27961851We gonna imperil the world and she's going to save us from ourselves.
>>27961863by the way its archived. Expect the next thread on Tuesday if things go right
>>27961811Mother didn't approve of this cane's abilities and so she took it away and handed it to a passing wizard to seal it away until it was needed. Gunter was quite pissed to learn this and this was the impetus that drove him away from home as a local bully to his new life as a wandering bandit.
>>27961887Looking forward to it.
>>27961801Been great so far
>>27961887Alright, I suppose I can wait.
>>27961887Wait, we came from the void right? Does that make us similar to the Court?
>>27961914>>27961914AH fuck I forgot those fuck heads
>>27961929Well....this is going to be interesting.
>>27961929Calling it now: Jack wants to use us and Justice to rebuild the court.
>>27961999He may be the Jack, but We are the King, and Justice will be our Queen.
>>27961929Jack of Blades would be very interested in us, that's for damn sure.
>>27961999>>27962050The way these quests tend to go, Jack either gets completely ignored or gets horribly murdered for touching our coat.
It's going to be funny when we have a rival in trying to win over the princess. DAM YOU HERO!
>>27962050That is likely to be the point of contention.>>27962102we need to find a dark knight to get Justice good and jealous.
>>27962102>implying a fable hero stands even half a chance against god>implying we won't simply run him over with a train or cartoon logic.seriously we are a literal god of cartoon logic and classical villiany, at worst we reincarnate and get them next time.
>>27962101"YOU HERO""What I am having tea""IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ARENA""Yes, its quite lovely old chap""YOUR FOE HAS BEEN WITHERING ON THE FLOOR FOR A MINUTE, KILL HER""....noooo, my tea would get cold"
>>27962309I'm funny because that is exactlly what we would do. Though I find it funny that he would call us "hero"
>>27962359Aren't all heroes in fable called heroes even if they are evil as fuc
>>27962378True, though it's been one of those things I can't help but find funny.
>>27962309>"NOBODY CALLS ME THE "H" WORD!"Let's face it, this is what would probably happen.
>>27962391I assume you'll kill jack for a slight offense due to a nat 100. and toss away the mask because it smells strange
>>27962423I was thinking of beating him to death with the corpses of the rest of the court personally.
>>27962417Oh god I can see it.>>27962423We would look at the mask as it promises us power and then slowly cook it over a fire to savor it's screams.
>>27962423How are you supposed to twirl your moustache with that thing on? Like hell we're giving our facial hair away for some vague promises of power.
>>27962527Actually, I'm fairly sure that even if we did try to don the mask, our facial hair would shatter the mask. Our moustache can get very territorial.
Rolled 40A++ Quest Man I fucking loved it from start to end. See you on Tuesday!
Y'know, with Bethany and Justice apparently being reincarnated now, and probably destined to continue their usual shit, it actually becomes quite a cute love story.
I am commander Shepard and this is my favourite quest on the Citadel.