Twitter: @HeroRena>Last time on HERO QUEST!>Rena, a college dropout, was on her way to get a free meal from the Hero Association when suddenly she was attacked by the Monster Maestro! Using her lightning quick wit, Rena was able to trick the Monster Maestro into letting her into her home! Was there Rena gathered as much information from her as possible and left. She then defeated Monster Master and was promoted to C-Class!
>>27953159Time for some lessons from Chet Manlystache
>>27953159C-Class Rank 100... It's the lowest of the C-Class ranks but... I got it.And I don't even want it.With the C-Class I can now be sent on missions every once in a while that pay more but they're mandatory...Also I still need to train with Chet Manlystache. He said if I didn't feel comfortable training with an A-Class the top two C-Class Heroes, Anti-Hero and Shadow Man would be willing to help me out. So I can pick between the three of them...Or none. I got over $5,000. I could totally just call it quits here...
>>27953198Let's go with Chet Manlystache, he probably knows how to win a fight since he's high rankedAnd don't wuss out Rena, you have to have a sense of adventure!
>>27953198Lets train with chet. I really don't trust those 2 other heroes.Besides, Chet is already here and I don't want to waste more of other people's time.
>>27953198Train with Chet. Anti-Hero looks like an ass, and Shadow Man looks suspicious, and also sounds fairly power-based which won't be too useful for Rena. Besides, no reason to turn down the best of the best - Chet will know what to teach.
>>27953198$5000 will only last you so long, you're going to need more soon.Oh, and train with Chet Manlystache. Best for you to learn from the best. Best of who you know anyway.
>>27953198>train with Chet Manlystache
So, what he could he train us in? Dirty battledancing? Fist wizardry? Manbearpig summoning?
>>27953296I forgot one: advanced rock throwing.
>>27953198Train with Chet. He could also fill you in on the intricacies of the Hero society.And see if you can make friends with the other two, never know when you might need their help.
>>27953318>friends>with Anti-HeroHe looks like he stepped right out of doucheville. And his archetype would make him the opposite of MM.Now Shadow Man, he looks like a nice ally in a pinch.
Chet it is... Even if the guy creeps me out. And he smells like bacon.>And don't wuss out Rena, you have to have a sense of adventure!It's less of a lack of Adventure Sense or more of an over abundance of Life Preservation Sense...I almost died yesterday! If I hadn't changed into my costume I would've been like bleeding into my lungs! Blood shouldn't be there!>$5000 will only last you so long, you're going to need more soon.... That's true. And that's the only reason I'm doing this training. So if something like this happens again I can do more than just cry for help. I can run.>Rena gets dressed and uses her Morpher to call Chet Manlystache. So long as she's met the Hero she can call them at any time using her Morpher. Doesn't mean they'll always reply though.>The two of them meet at the Hero Association building.CM: "Rena! So good to see you took me up on my offer! There is a training room we can use here! HOWEVER! There is one thing I need to be clear of before we start!" His voice drops. "You don't actually have any powers, do you?"...Ah, damn...
>>27953198I wonder if we'll become like transfer student storm bringer
>>27953388ConfirmTHEY pulled you into this, you don't have to lie
>>27953388...Well, he has a clue, so that's actually a good thing I'd think. Yeah, admit it.
>>27953388Weeeellll... what if I don't?
>>27953388He's probably bullshitting, but tell him anyways
>>27953388>> "You don't actually have any powers, do you?"No. Its kinda funny actually. I threw a rock at MM and I was more or less forced to join. I don't have any actual power, only bluffing and rock throwing skills.
>>27953388>"My bluffing powers are second to none!"
>>27953388We have common sense. It' s almost like a superpower!
>>27953388>inb4: don't worry, neither do I
>>27953388Tell him everything.
>>27953388"Compared to you? nope."
>>27953456If this is the case, it speaks a lot about the recruitment standards of the villain syndicate.If any asshole with no power can become a A class hero, villains must be really easy to defeat with basic common sence.
>>27953512Say that to Lord Death's (?) face and see what happens.
>>27953441>>27953455These>>27953456Sadly I think this is the most likely scenario.
>>27953538I am going to guess death?
"Uhm... No. I kinda threw a rock at Monster Maestro and they forced me in...">He nods.CM: "I knew it. You had the same look I did when I was forced to join many years ago. YOU SEE! I happened to be nearby when the A-Class Villain, The Terrible Tyrant suffered a heart attack. I was forced to join myself. BACK THEN I WAS BUT A NORMAL MAN! However, through sheer determination I became the man you see before you!">He pulls Rena close.>"This is why I wanted to be the one to train you Rena! You and I are two of a kind! I may have started out weak but I EARNED my Class A rank! If you are willing to sweat and bleed EVEN YOU CAN BE POWERFUL!"But I don't like sweating...Or bleeding...
>>27953559Extract yourself from his armpit (ewwwww bet he sweated on you) and inquire if you can't start with just some mild sweating and no bleeding, just to get a feel for things.
>>27953559He said he did that with Manly Determination and Willpowerwe only have one of those things, and not much of it. What's his plan?
>>27953559No, sweating is actually perfectly acceptable as long as it helps me keep away from bleeding.
>>27953559>But I don't like sweating...>Or bleeding...Come on girl, the later already happens every month, you should be used to it by now.Now lets start training ourselves into a true instrument of death and justice throught sheer willpower and determination!In other words, super rock throwing.
>>27953559Will that be enough not to die and live till the next free lasagna? Teach me sensei!
>>27953559"They (Hero Association) got a manual on 'Sexual Harassment' by any chance?"
>>27953583We can muster some Womanly Determination. And we have more Common Sense than half the other superheroes. Combined.
>>27953559I like this guy already.See if you can get out of the hug, and tell him how you're willing to train. A bit.As long as you don't die or bleed out too much. Or at all.
>>27953620Even ignoring this, Anti-Hero gives me the feeling we'll need it later anyway.
>>27953456 called it>>27953559Well, if we actually want to stick around, we better actually get to TRAINING, if we wanna live to see our next birthday, or christmas, whatever
>>27953643>acquire rank-B>introduce Anti-Hero to "Mace to the face" if he tries anything funny>claim it's part of training
>>27953643Just wait until we meet the Yurimancer and Beardneck the magnificient.
>>27953559Hey, the more you sweat training, the less you bleed in battle.The more you bleed it training, the less you die.
>>27953671>YurimancerNow that's a hero I'd like to train with.
"I don't really wanna bleed much but..." She pushes her way out of Chet's half hug. "I'm willing to train... What're we gonna do?"CM: "The secret training passed down from the greatest hero in all of history... The man who we named S-Class from... YOUR TRAINING IS..! 100 Pushups, 100 Sit-ups, 100 Squats, and 10KM Running! EVERY SINGLE DAY!"
>>27953695No, actually certain amount of bleeding is lethal no matter where you do it.
>>27953671>Yuri>-mancerso, how would that work.They raise the yuri-levels inside their enemy? Raise skeletons of dead gay women? Summon lesbians from out of thin air? Give you extra strong yuri-goggles?
>>27953724Then we ought to start right away.
>>27953724I forgot if additionally it should include not using the AC during summer...>>27953724Uh... Can we see if Rena can even manage ONE push-up first?
>>27953559>I happened to be nearby when the A-Class Villain, The Terrible Tyrant suffered a heart attack. I was forced to joinOh man this entire world is fucked.Still, he seems to know what's what. I say you take him up on the training.
>>27953724Brilliant! Do we earn superpowers the same way?
>>27953724Aight, well 100 sit-ups sounds doable. Those push-ups and distance numbers seem kind of high though. Any chance we can work up to that? Maybe cut off, say, 30% on account of my smaller stature? Less to train, you know.
>>27953724Can't we do, like, office work? Or maybe just intelligence, with no fights?
>>27953724>100 Pushups, 100 Sit-ups, 100 Squats, and 10KM Running! EVERY SINGLE DAY!"YES!"Can I start with like 10 each and add few every other day?"
>>27953724GET HYPED AND DO THIS>>27953714I have a creeping suspicion it's a he
>>27953724Can we start with something simple? No reason to get muscle inflammation or worse the first day as C-class. We'll lose our job if that happens.>>27953671Still better than Fraulein /U/-Boot.
>The Terrible Tyrant suffered a heart attackChange of plan. Induce heart-attack on villains via moe.This is sure to work!
>>27953724That sounds like a lot of like, hard work.Can Rena even do a pushup?
>>27953788Being a completely normal girl?..the odds are not in her favor.
>>27953749I was more thinking of something along the lines of inducing unresistible homosexual attraction in women and possibly shooting lesbian torpedoes.His weapon of choice would be a giant scissor, of course.
>>27953724>The man who we named S-Class from... YOUR TRAINING IS..! 100 Pushups, 100 Sit-ups, 100 Squats, and 10KM Running! EVERY SINGLE DAY!I don't know why I expected anything else.
>>27953822>lesbian torpedoes.Terrifying. Flee on sight.
>>27953776I never got this thing: are all those sit-ups and whatnot dispersed through the day, or just all in one sitting?
>>27953724Good advice but by that way of training, we'll end up losing all our hair. Not sure if it's worth it in the long run.
"That uhm... Doesn't sound too bad. Perhaps we can lower down the numbers just a bit? Maybe 10 pushups and situps and stuff..? Just to start us off?"CM: "Fine! But tomorrow you will do more! And the next day even more! And for the next three years you shall train until you gain your power! It will only be a fraction of 'his' power but it will still make you mighty!""Okay. I think I can do this..."============ 5 Pushups Later==========="My arms hurt..."CM: "Those weren't even full pushups.... Perhaps physical powers aren't your thing..."
>>27953885How do I upgrade my common sense into a superpower?
>>27953860>are all those sit-ups and whatnot dispersed through the day, or just all in one sitting?Yes.
>>27953885Train your mind then!
>>27953885"Perhaps... Are there any other options?"
>>27953885What do you mean, those weren't full pushups?What are the other options that don't require us to move so much?>>27953884It does, actually.
>>27953932It's the freckles and the flat gaze, isn't it?
>>27953885Don't be discouraged. It seems difficult now, but if you keep at it, you'll be able to do the full set surprisingly quickly. It shouldn't take more than a couple of weeks.
>>27953885Well of course it's rough at first, but tomorrow maybe we can do 5 real push ups. And so on and so forth, it's not like we do somewhat poorly at first, and therefore completely write off physical training forever after. That's mad defeatist.
>>27953777>I have a creeping suspicion it's a heA lesbian trapped in man's body?
>>27953965>>27953966Yeah... I think if I keep working at it I'll get it... I just haven't done a pushup since like sixth grade..."Perhaps... Are there any other options?"CM: "Hrm... I'm not terribly good at magic or psionics... Not the best at mechanical enhancements. You can try these!">He pulls a bottle out of his pocket.CM: "This is what I used before I gained my full power. I even use it now when I need a BOOST IN POWER! It will help you in case you are attacked and will be pretty useful until you COMPLETE YOUR TRAINING!"
>>27953969Y-yeah...I hate our generationBut no, I meant just a creepy dude obsessed with yuri
>>27953986Do they come with side effects? Like chest hair and things..
>>27953986where the hell did he get these?Mad placebo in coming
>>27953986Read the list of side effects on the bottle.
>>27953986>Inquire about side-effects.Do we really want steroids on steroids?
>>27953986Okay, thanks. Do they have side effects?And does he have any friends that could help us train? We're not good at physical stuff, but maybe some of his friends could help us figure what we're good at.We'll still train with him, of course.
>>27953986Check if it reads content somewhere on the bottle."Thanks. Any instructions about dosing? Have you... noticed any side effects while using them?"Your Common Sense is tingling about "mysterious power up pills". We might grow a stache too, or something.
>>27953986Is it approved by (Hero) Surgeon General?
> inb4 they're placebos and it's only your WILLPOWER that made you strong
>>27953986We don't need steroids. All we need in pocket sand.
>>27954044Yes! They are perfectly safe.
>>27953986There are probably some wierd ass side effects, but we might need them while we get better at doing push ups
Come on girl, the later already happens every month, you should be used to it by now
>>27953986COMMON SENSE POWERS... ACTIVATE!FORM OF... Peaking under that damn label to see what it is he's trying to feed us.
>>27954063You mean pocket stones?Sand is for Rank-E.
>>27953986>Power-Up PillsHow do these work, specifically? Exactly how much strength will they give us, and how long do they last?>CM: "Hrm... I'm not terribly good at magic or psionics... Not the best at mechanical enhancements.That's an interesting choice of words. Does he mean that he has some skill, but not a lot? Or is he just talking about his level of familiarity?>captcha: glaird RegiusRegius is quite suspicious about this.
>Rena attacked by a villain>start screaming "KYAAA PERVERT">run away while crying>baffled villain immediately arrested by the policeDo we still get paid?
>>27954113He's probably balanced in all that stuff, but his specialty is physical stats. You probably have to know a bit of everything to be an A-class.
"I... I think I'll pass..."CM: "Here! Take them anyway!">He hands Rena the Power Up Pills. There is nothing else on the label... She notices that there is a label on the label. She rips off the outer label revealing... Something not good."Do you know anyone else who can train me..?"CM: "Hurm... WELL there are a few who might be willing to assist you! There is Magical Girl Sparkle, Shadow Man, Anti-Hero, The Rainbow Rangers, Mantis-Shrimp Man, Velocity Raptor. Each of them are powerful Heroes in their own right. I have given you just my own training schedule! If they have something that suits you more do not hesitate to take theirs! All that matters to me is that you are STRONG and SAFE, Rena. I've seen too many people like you fall in the field!""Uhm... Thanks."CM: "No problem! I must go now but if you wish to meet and of those people they would be within the building! Keep in touch, I want to know how your training goes!""Will do.">Chet Manlystache leaves.Huh.He seems pretty cool, I guess.
>>27954133>>Rena attacked by a villainess>>start screaming "KYAAA PERVERT">suddenly Yurimancer's power is maximum>Yurimancer saves the dayFIFY
>>27954148>Mantis-Shrimp ManHoly shit
>>27954148>Velocity RaptorYesYESThe rest sound stupid, creepy, or both. This guy sounds AWESOME.
>>27954133>arrested by the police>policeIn this verse, they might be even more incompetent compared to Heroes.And SWAT probably only has disco guns or something.>>27954148>Mantis-Shrimp Man>Velocity RaptorThese we gotta see at least.
>>27954148>Check database on those heroes he listed
>>27954148See the Rainbow Rangers first.What happened to Silver?
>>27954148I'm tempted to try the pills.
>>27954148mantis shrimp man go! Though he sounds physical as hell, but it will be awesomeMagial Girl Sparkle could probably help
>>27954148Try 5 more push ups. C'mon, you wanted to get in shape for a while now anyway. What better moment there is to start than now when your life might depend on it?
>>27954148>Mantis-Shrimp ManMantis Shrimps are badass. Let's train with him.
>>27954148Magical girl! She might be able to get us a lead on magical girl powers!
>>27954148>Velocity Raptorgotta go FAST
>>27954148>Anti-heroIf someone might some way to be a hero without fight its this guy.
>>27954148Check the heroes he listed and also #1 hero.Then disregard results and ask for training from velocity raptor.
>>27954233not sure if want...
>>27954244If he's the person in the middle here (>>27953198), then he looks more like someone who never left the middle-school syndrome phase.
>>27954254Of course you do.
>Velocity RaptorPlease, be cute girl with roller blades.Please, be cute girl with roller blades.Pretty please with a sugar on top.
>>27954148http://www.cracked.com/article_18837_7-superpowered-animal-senses-you-wont-believe-are-possible_p2.htmlThe mantis shrimp is a badass
>>27954294He's gonna be MM's opposite. She's kind of an anti-Villain with her no kills policy and making lasagna. This guy by extention should be an utter asshat.Why would we want that instead of VELOCITY RAPTOR?
>>27954306Kyubey, pls go.
>mantis shrimp manThat's a noHe's a phys fighter, we're not good thereI say we go become a Magical Girl
>>27954349Is there a problem?
>>27954378The mantis shrimp's best superpower is it's fucking eyes
>>27954148>Drug #17That is significantly less inviting.>Magical Girl SparkleThat is significantly more inviting. She sounds like fun!>captcha: dogist ThisDogist? There aren't even any dogs around.
>>27954207Hold on, before we pick let's see what these guys are like...>Anti HeroOh, Anti-Hero is a girl.>Rank: C-Class 1>Powers: Super Strength, Reality Warping, Enhanced Durability.>Note: Known to kill Villains.>Shadow Man>Rank: C-Class 2>Powers: Invisibility when in shadows.>Note: Mostly for information gathering.>Magical Girl Sparkle>Rank: S-Class 3>Powers: Energy Projection, Enhanced Durability, Flight, Summoning.>Mantis-Shrimp Man>Rank: B-Class 1>Powers: Very High Strength, Speed, Super Seeing.>Velocity Raptor>Rank: A-Class 23>Powers: Speed, Strength.>The Rainbow Rangers>Ranks: D-Class 90,91,92 for Maroon, Teal, and Gold.>Powers: None.>Note: How have they not all died yet?
>>27954327That'd be awesome.
>>27954420>inb4: Doge superhero
>>27954446>>Magical Girl SparklePhysical we know, let's try magic.
>>27954446>>Magical Girl Sparkle>>Rank: S-Class 3>Rank: Sor boy, here we go...
>>27954446This must be suffering for you Larro, because I know what Velocity Raptor is, an
>>27954446>The Rainbow Rangers>Powers: None.we belong together
>>27954446>Mantis-Shrimp Man. Seriously, Mantis Shrimps are awesome.
>>27954446>MGSShe's been through some shitLet's go to her!
>>27954446S-sparkle looks so disillusioned...I'd say Shadow Man (teach us how to avoid attention maybe), Sparkle (might be we can magic) and Velocity Raptor (awesome) are our best bets. Anti-Hero still looking asshat as fuck.
> Anti-Hero> Realty WarpingOh, fuck, I just figured it out. Her power isn't being a dick, it's getting the opposite of her enemy's power.
>>27954446Check S class #1then depressed looking sparkle
>>27954446>MGS>that PTSD thousand yard stareI bet she drinks like a fish or something.
>>27954552It can be both...
>>27954607Quite possibly.Pic somewhat related.
>>27954446I think we should meet with Sparkle just to see what up with her
>>27954611It can be both, sure. We won't know until we meet her, though.For now, let's see Sparkle. Maybe get her some lasagna, she looks sad as fuck.
>>27954720I suspect she had her crew of life-long friends that also were magical girls but were all killed, maybe beheaded
Alright, first is Magical Girl Sparkle.>>27954584>[Classified]>Rank: S-Class 1>Powers [Classified]Welp... That didn't work.>Rena makes her way around the building asking different heroes until she locates Magical Girl Sparkle. She is drinking out of a juice pouch and when she notices Rena she stares at her.>Rena stares back, unsure of what to say.MGS: "... What the fuck do you want?"
>>27954780Where do I get sparkles like that?
>>27954780Not a promising start."Train me to be a magical girl plz ty."
>>27954780NOPELet's look for someone who won't instantly kill us upon opening our mouth
>>27954780How'd you get to be so sweet?
>>27954780/u/-boatsbut seriously, something along the lines of I'm new and was hoping to get some help so I don't end up as monster food
>>27954780We're a newly recruited hero, and we were hoping to learn from someone experienced.>captcha: whichJin grieve
>>27954780"Hi, sorry, my name is Rena, I'm new to this hero business, and Chet told me you might be able to help me with my training?"
>>27954780"Did you get your tickets... to the gun show?">Proceed to flex our sick muscles from doing 5 pushups>Maybe kiss them as well
>>27954780Perform 360 and moonwalk towards the door. It's certainly one of those stranger heroes.
>>27954809>>27954819>>27954827>not only talking, but also being rude to herWELPWe're so dead. SO DEADWe might even suffer fate worse than death
>>27954780C-can you teach me magic?
>>27954780Um... so, I'm new here, I want to get a few tips on... not dying horribly?
Rena, just be your usual lovable moe blob and it will be fine
>>27954780"Hi, sorry if I disrupted you from something. I'm Rena, I'm new on the crew. Just wanted to introduce myself and ask if you'd have any tips how to handle myself. Chet Manlystache said you could be great inspiration for me. Or something along these lines."
>>27954874>Implying a PTSD Magical Girl cares about people being rude
>>27954914Unless it enrages her even harder
>>27954899This sounds good>
>>27954780Yep. >>27954706 Called it. She's Murderface-tier.
>>27954780Wait wait wait.. is her left arm stump at the elbow?
>>27954874Fine. We'll pull out our guitar and shades and serenade her.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pFx7bTz7xM
>>27955008We're gonna eat that guitarSeriously, we came to the wrong neighborhood
"Hi, sorry if I disrupted you from something. I'm Rena, I'm new on the crew. Just wanted to introduce myself and ask if you'd have any tips how to handle myself. Chet Manlystache said you could be great inspiration for me. Or something along these lines.">She drinks more from the juice box. Rena notices the box is labeled XXX.MGS: "He did, huh? Guess he must think you're not completely worthless. Yeah, I can help you train. Do you know any magic?""Ah, no."MGS: "Any sort of skills I can work on with you?""Not really."MGS: "Any sort of powers?""I can throw a rock."MGS: "... What the fuck are you doing here, kid? You're going to die. Goddamn... Look, I can't work on you if there's nothing there. What I can do though is make you a Magical Girl. Of sorts. The creature I contacted with is dead but I can grant you some powers.""Really!?"MGS: "Yeah." She takes another drink. "But you do know that once you go down this path there's nothing but suffering, right? Sure you can help a few people and make some money but for a lot of people that's just not worth the risks."
>>27954780"I need help with not-dying."
>>27955070Well, you did say I was dead otherwise.
>>27955008And then she kneecaps us.I want One Punch Man silliness in this quest, not Midoriquest.
>>27955070Is there a better way?
>>27954780S-Class rank 1 is Blast?
>>27955070What sort of suffering we talking about here?
>>27955070Probably better than dyingAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>27955070"How much suffering?"
>>27955070>Do you have any advice for alternate routes of progression then?
>>27955070"I was pushed into this business, honest"Also decline. This might be the easiest way to get powers, but we're not really dedicated to this whole hero thing, to ruin our life like that
>>27955070I-I-I don't want to be a magical girl anymore.Sure I want money and yeah I guess I have to help people, but all that dosh isn't worth it if I'm dead inside.
>>27955070"... this is one of those madoka things, isn't it."
>>27955070Well, that sounds like a pretty raw deal. Do you know anyone that can help a normal person learn how to survive against crazy villains? Preferably someone who won't try to feed me dubious pills or get sweat and mustache wax all over me?
>>27955070Ask about how much suffering, then decline, and apologize for bothering her.
>>27955070>What the fuck are you doing here, kid?Pretty sure Rena has been asking herself that every single second since joining up. That said, MAGICAL GIRL TIME
>>27955070Nope, i don't think we enjoy suffering.Let's see the rainbow rangers and ask what is their secret
>>27955070MAGICAL GIRL TIME. YES.
"How much suffering?"MGS: "It's hard to say. But quitting is always an option. You can do so right now, before you go further along. If you really want to stick with this thing the least I can do is give you something to help you out.""I think... I'll decline for now. Sorry. Do you know any other ways someone like me can gain powers?"MSG: "We all have our own ways. Some were born with them, some worked hard, some contracted with a lovecraftian creature to gain their powers. You don't look like you were born with anything special, you sure as hell don't look like you have the smarts to make anything, and there is a shortage of shoggoths to contract with. Honestly? Your best bet is to simply keep doing what you're doing. You are here because you did something right. Just keep doing that and you'll be fine."
>>27955070"The worse kind of suffering than Chet's workout routines?" smile awkwardly "Well, yeah, I kinda got press-ganged into this by Rainbow Rangers without having much choice about it. I'll think about your offer and get back to you if I'm up to it. I assume it stands as long as you're around, right? Oh, by the way, if there is something I can do for you or you'd just like to chat, let me know." Think: "This girl needs a cheer-up like, seriously." And hope she can't read mind.
>>27955231Well, sounds like it's time to go talk to Anti-Hero.
>>27955231Right. Now to search for more rocks..
>>27955231but what we've done so far is be polite and eat lasagna! And it almost killed us!
>>27955262how about lead rocks?Very small and fast lead rocks?
>>27955118AU. Or long after the end of OPM. Really long.
>>27955231HerIs her hand a prosthesis? Oh god...Well she's nicer than I thought.Say that we got in by throwing a rock into villain's face, so we must find someone who can make us throw rocks better. Does she know anyone like that?
>>27955296I think ordinary rocks are more readily available, anon.
>>27955231Okay. Does she know any particular villains or dangers to watch out for?>must be doing something rightIf anything, I'd say it's the fact that we talked to Monster Maestro like a regular person. So... maybe our thing is to see whether villains are really that bad, and hopefully keep them from ~becoming~ that bad.
You know, maybe if we put several overpowered powers in our data file, the supervillians wouldn't attack us so often.You know, "she's too strong for us to approach her".
>>27955298Wasn't OPM a villain in one of the past threads or something? We didn't see him, we just looked him up or something.
>>27955231Let's go to Mantis-Shrimp Man to learn how to see better.
>>27955339>You know, "she's too strong for us to approach her".All this will do is make us a target for up and coming B-ranks.
>>27955231"Okay, soooo, work on my bluffing skills and find better rocks to throw... Do you know if there is any way to quit this job?"
>>27955342No, we did not. It was speculah on the Number One villain.
>>27955231Thank her for the rather in-depth advice.Well... Back to basics.We got mace. We can throw sand or a rock.I say escalate it to a taser. We're still trying to be non-lethal, right?Or we could fork over $3,000 to the Hero Association and choose actual powers.
>>27955231"Thanks for the pointers. I'll be going now, see ya later."I'm leaning towards acquiring a slingshot.Or seeing Velocity Raptor.
We can always become a gadget hero.Who uses diplomacy and her cuteness to get her way. And if that fails, rocks and mace.
>>27955375>We got maceSince when?>>27955338>If anything, I'd say it's the fact that we talked to Monster Maestro like a regular personSo, friendship powers?
>>27955375Buy a Taser? Maybe a small club?
>>27955433>Since when?Since thread one.
"Most of my powers involve throwing rocks and talking to people. And eating stuff."MGS: "Then that's just how you do things. How long have you been doing this?""Two days."MGS: "That's two days more than most people. So, I think you'll be fine. And if you ever want to become a magical girl.""I'll keep that in mind. Thanks a lot."MGS: "Mhmm.">>27955375>>27955433I do still have my mace. And I've packed a few rocks away just in case.>Rena waves goodbye and goes off to meet Anti-Hero. She isn't hard to track down either.When she notices Rena approaching she smiles.AH: "Hey there, rookie! Heard all about you! C-Class in such a short time? That's gotta be a new record. Congrats."
>>27955483awkward thanks and request or aid
>>27955483HOLY CRAP IT'S YOU FROM THE FUTURE.
>>27955483Why does she kill villains anyway? Won't that cut off a stable source of income for Heroes permanently?
>>27955483Hey, thanks. Introduce yourself, ask for some tips and advice, you know the drill by now.
>>27955483"Are you me?"
>>27955483I've got a bad feeling about this one Scoobs.I hope there's no newbie crushing.
>>27955479Oh, mace is a pepper spray or something?>>27955483Thanks! You look like a nice person, so why're you named "Anti-hero"?
>>27955512If her powers are the opposite of her enemy's, I guess shit happens.For example, if she's fighting a dude made of fire, she pours water on him and accidentally puts him out.
>>27955483"Thanks. Guess I got lucky with this one. Still learning things on the go. Would you mind giving me some pointers how you handle stuff? Chet Manlystache already tried to pass his knowledge on me, but I don't think I have enough chest hair to pick it up properly."
>>27955483"what's up with your hero name and can you teach me some skillz?"
"Thanks. Guess I got lucky with this one. Still learning things on the go. Would you mind giving me some pointers how you handle stuff? Chet Manlystache already tried to pass his knowledge on me, but I don't think I have enough chest hair to pick it up properly."AH: "Hehehe. Yeah I don't think anyone can be more manly than that guy. You wanna know my secret? Never give up! Even when things seem hopeless you keep fighting! When they kick you down to the curb you drag them down there with ya and kick the crap out of em!""Huh. Okay. So just keep going?"AH: "Yeah! Even after you've ripped their hearts out you keep fighting! Make sure that they're not getting up! Break their legs if you have to! Or remove them, whichever works best! Just don't let up until you're sure you've won!"..."Hahaha, that's all metaphor, right?"AH: "Huh? Naw, I'm totally serious. It's the only way you can be sure those evil bastards are really done for! One time this D-Class tried to fool me by giving up so I used my super powers to kill 'im! No one's getting the drop on Anti-Hero!".....................
>>27955628"But what if he actually wanted to give up?"
>>27955628...Are you me from the future?
>>27955628"Wow, you sure showed him!"
>>27955628How did you get superpowers?
>>27955628That's scary.Anti-Hero is scary.
>>27955669>And then she mentions "naw, it was a 'her', she sicced some monster at me but they were small-fry to my might."
>>27955628uuuuh, that sounds pretty harsh.I don't know how comfortable I am with that.How bout all that reality warping listed on your profile as a hero?
>>27955628I don't think we will eat lasagnas following this path.
>>27955733Unless we consider lasagna a metaphor.
>>27955747...blood and gut lasagnas?
>>27955628"Hahaha." awkward "You seem like a kind of gal that really likes her job. Not sure if I have THAT much enthusiasm in me as well. Heck, I'm not sure if anyone else can. But yeah, never giving up sounds good, I'll try to stick to it."Basically each of them has give un piece of actually useful advice. "Keep training every day.", "Stick to what you're good at." & "Never give up." are something we can work with.
"But what if he actually wanted to give up?"AH: "Trust me, newbie. When a villain fights you it's for keeps! They may 'claim' that they don't want to die, or that they quite, but that's really just a trap. Trust me.""Okay..."AH: "I like your sweater! I use mine as my costume to. I think you and I might have a lot in common. We should totally hang out some time.""Yeah... So, how did you get your powers?"AH: "I was just chilling outside when I saw a shooting star. I made a wish that I could get powers and it was granted~""Wow, really?"AH: "Hell no! I got mine from drugs and magic. Lots of drugs and magic. See this eye patch?""Yeah..."AH: "If I take it off I unleash a terrible demon that could destroy this entire building. Magic. You can get any kind of power you want if you're willing to sacrifice some things."
>>27955747Cold lasagnas of justice?
>>27955747>Anti-Hero is future Rena that has never tasted Monster Maestro's lasagna
>>27955780So it was more magic and less drugs, or did the drugs help to come to the decision?
>>27955780Let's try and escape to velocity raptor.
>>27955812She's the anti of the hero closest to her.
>>27955780New goal: Carry tools to apprehend villains nonlethally, so we don't have to become like this.
>>27955780>"But I had lasagna with a villain yesterday, and she was nice."
>>27955786>>27955757Lasagna is a symbol of Rena's simple life before, and immediately following her acceptance as a hero. It's the warm and comforting side of life, where the bad guy is just a girl trying to follow in the path of her siblings and the highlight of the day is dinnertime.
>>27955780"Don't come near Monster Maestro, ok? She's my arch-enemy and all. Not fair if you finish her."We have to protect MM from her
>>27955840Nonono, Anti-Hero doesn't need to know that.
I'm going to be depressed if Saitama is long dead. He was too good for this sinful Earth.
>>27955780Now I REALLY think we should renegade and join Villains just so we could protect MM sisters from such monstersNot that we can...
>>27955780I'd like to point out that, if villains expect to be ruthlessly murdered, they'll have little reason not to fight to the death, and won't consider turning themselves in.But I think the best thing to do here is to be as non-confrontational as possible.
>>27955870>so we could protect MM sistersI don't think we could offer much protection for them.
>>27955926That's what I said
>>27955870>Now I REALLY think we should renegade and join Villains just so we could protect MM sisters from such monstersThe younger sister, probably. The older one eats people.In any case, that goal would be better served by staying on the "Hero" side and hopefully keeping them from getting too crazy.
"Hahaha. You seem like a kind of gal that really likes her job. Not sure if I have THAT much enthusiasm in me as well. Heck, I'm not sure if anyone else can. But yeah, never giving up sounds good, I'll try to stick to it."AH: "Awesome! I'm serious about hanging out some time, too! Maybe we can take on some villains together!""Hahaha, yeah."Not happening.>>27955856"Oh, also. Monster Maestro and her sisters are my arch-enemies. I got dibs on them, okay."AH: "No problem sister! They're all yours! When you beat Maestro you totally need to stab her with those stupid sticks of hers!""Totally..."Oh god oh god oh god oh god.>Rena flees.Velocity Raptor next...>Velocity Raptor is within the Science section of the building. Cyborgs and people with coats walk about. Rena is directed to a smaller room. Within it is...>Velocity Raptor.VR: "Hmm? Greetings. You are Rena, correct? It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Dr. Roberts. You may call me Velocity Raptor."
>>27956010Can... Can we ride you? We've always wanted to ride a dinosaur
>>27956010".... Are you a Yoshi?""Can I ride you?"
>>27956010Extend our hand for a hearty handshake."Nice to meet you.What do you have a degree in? You have a cool hat. Can I ride you and go really really fast?"
>>27956010>"Hi! I'm trying to get stronger, and was wondering if you had any advice. After the last person I asked I kind of need it..."
>>27956010Are your powers scientific in nature? Do you know how I could get something similar? All the magic powers seem to be incredibly scary and have huge drawbacks.
>>27956010YeeeeeaaaaahhYOU HAVE THE COOLEST SUPERHERO NAME EVER
>>27956010"Hi, Velocity Raptor. Cool shades! Mind telling me what's your expertise? Is it speed as your Hero Name would imply or am I guessing wrong? I'm stilly trying to figure out what to focus on in my training so any pointers would be handy."
Yeah, after all this the "befriend all villains" plan looks like the less crazy option. Sparkles did say to keep doing what we were doing, after all. We should ask around for a Charisma-based power or something.
>All that "can I ride you."C'mon guys, he will have us for... an easily swayedy girl. We are not that kind of girl!
>"Can I ride you?"Slight problem with that."Hi, Velocity Raptor. Cool shades! Mind telling me what's your expertise? Is it speed as your Hero Name would imply or am I guessing wrong? I'm still trying to figure out what to focus on in my training so any pointers would be handy."VR: "My power certainly comes from my speed, yes. That and my talons. As for advice... My biggest bit of advice for you is to always fully research something before you just dive in. I made the mistake of transferring my brain into a raptor's body before looking into exactly what it would mean. I was too eager to gain power and while I may have it I must always pay the price. I've said the same thing to every rookie and only a few actually listen. I hope you do."
>>27956010Ask him if he can go fast, and if so, how fast.
>>27956139But he looks so cooOhI get itFuck you
>>27956156"Thanks for the advice! It's really useful. So...can't you transfer back or something?"
>>27956156I think you should pet the raptor, Rena.
>>27956156Where'd you get the raptor?Can I have a raptor.
>>27956156So what you're saying is that it'd be a bad idea to swap brains with Kitty?
>>27956156>"My biggest bit of advice for you is to always fully research something before you just dive in."worth noting along with>"Keep training every day.">"Stick to what you're good at.">"Never give up."
>>27956156That's good advice. So how do common sources of superpowers work, specifically? For example, we've heard of people contracting with magical beings; what do those contracts commonly entail?>captcha: his dototelAlso pet his dototel.
>>27956235Pretty sensible if generic advice so far. Too bad it's all been delivered by insane people.
>>27956258Well, we can like... take the best of each attitude and combine it into our own methods.I wonder what Rangers Will have to say (my guess is "TEAMWORK - art of making sure enemy always has people to shoot at that aren't you").
>>27956156Can we get a power suit? Seduce one of the scientists and have him make you one.
>>27956235Sounds great so far. We'll be the best hero ever if we stick to this advice.
"Where'd you get the raptor?"VR: "Science.""And now you can't turn back?"VR: "I'm afraid not.""So now brain swapping with kitty."VR: "I do not recommend it.""Well thanks for the advice, I've been getting a lot of good ones today. So I met Magical Girl Sparkle."VR: "Oh boy.""And she said that she gained her power by contracting with a... Thing. Is that common?"VR: "Not so much anymore.""Why not?"VR: "Before that 'thing' used to contract with a lot of people and give them powers. Then, once they grew in power, he would devour them whole. Magical Girl Sparkle killed that thing and once she did absorbed the power of all her friends who had been eaten by it. That creature was the only source of power giving contracts that I'm aware of. At least, what's offered to heroes. Like I said, always be aware of what you're getting yourself into when it comes to gaining power. Magical Girl Sparkle just didn't know.""Wow... That's kinda really really sad. Well, thanks again."VR: "My pleasure. Good luck out there.">Rena pets Velocity Raptor. He makes an odd chirping noise. He seems pleased enough.So, what's next? The Rangers? I don't think they have much to offer me, honestly.>Rena's Morpher beeps. There are villains around if she feels like dealing with them.>>27956321I'm not gonna seduce anyone. I don't think I even can.
>>27956366See what's the beep, and if it's something bad, get the Rangers to help us out. Or help them out.
>>27956366Look for the villains! But all stealthy-like, don't want to engage an A-rank one.
>>27956366Might as well go deal with villains with our friendship ability. All the powers/heroes here are just way 2 scare.
>>27956366What if Rena *doesn't* try to advance in rank?What if Rena irks out a comfortable living beating D/low-C class villains with kindness, rocks and lasagna? Informing them that they should probably change their ways but hey, if they don't want to, just be careful out there and don't hurt anyone?
>>27956366Let's call up Chet and have him back us up as we try to handle the villains
>>27956366It's GO TIME!>[x] check on the villainLet's put what we have learned to good use. We can see the others later.
If you guys wanna take on a villain roll a D50 to see which one is there.
>>27956366We'll want to check on the baddies to see if we can deal with them.Might also want to pick up some handcuffs or rope to apprehend them, if we don't already have those.
Rolled 4>>27956366>I don't think they have much to offer me, honestly.One of them can offer possible connections since she's the Mayor's daughter.>>27956414Rollin
Oh boy, I'm in time for Hero Quest!>>27956235Well Rena, even though the people you been given advice from have... a questionable degree of sanity, the overall advices are sound! Taking all that into account, you must train yourself to become...!An accountant or a doctor like your mother wanted. Wait, that shit would require years of school and loads of money, fuck that shit. Uh, become a poor man's Batman (or whatever this universe's equivalent is)! >>27956366Alright, showtime kid! Pick a reasonable target, study 'em a lil', and take them down! ...Or, maybe, I dunno, somehow befriend them. Hell if I know how you're going to accomplish that. Good luck, kid.
>>27956366>Magical Girl Sparkle killed that thing and once she did absorbed the power of all her friends who had been eaten by it.
>>27956414I'd rather we avoid them, but I think /tg/'s rolling addiction is going to win.
>>27956414We should check who it is and prepare ourself before we go after them. That's the advice that Raptor gave us, after all.
>>27956435We can always save up for college from what we make in this Hero gig.
Clearly befriending is the only way to go. We need to gain a Charisma type superpower. >>27956467Didn't we already drop out?
>>27956479>implying we can't enlist again once whe've mastered the art of self-discipline
>>27956454>>27956418>>27956420Good idea... Let's see...>Queen of the World>Rank: B-Class 17>Powers: Extremely High Charisma, Summoning, Minor Teleportation, Super Strength, Reincarnation.>Notes: 2 kills (fight to death against A-Class Heroes), annoyance.
>>27956569...Doesn't sound like a good match-up for us.
>>27956569>Super StrengthThat sounds painful. For us.
>>27956569We should probably go to make sure that someone is there at least, but not directly engage unless we have to. At this point, we're probably better off helping civilians get away than fighting her.Ready our rock, anyways.
>>27956569[THE WORLD INTENSIFIES]
>>27956569Well we can always flatter her for long enough to run away.Mostly I propose running away. She's too much, Rena! You don't want to die to a B class!
>>27956569We could go politely ask her to stop.Pretty much all we COULD do.OH! We should ask her how we could do the reincarnation thing!
>>27956569The trick is, since we're new and low rank, she won't know who we are.So with the help of a tough hero, we could do it. What we could do is act like a normal civilian and pretend to be enamored and act like her follower (name alone should dictate she has a high ego), and then after learning about her and when her guard is down, have our strong hero helper to come in and help finish the job.
>>27956569Can we alert someone appropriately powerful?
>>27956569>ReincarnationYeah... No way. She's gonna stalk us for the rest of our life on the off chance that we actually win.
>>27956569Well, if there's no heroes on hand, you should at least make sure that there's no civilians in danger- even if you don't fight, getting civilians clear of danger might make you some money.But try not to engage yourself. It sounds like it could be painful.
>>27956569Why not talk to Shadow Man? His whole thing is information gathering. He'd be a great contact to have regardless.
>>27956569Oh... snap.I guess as long as we don't provoke "fight to the death" we should be fine, but she's one that can probably out-charisma us.Taking Chet into this one might be bad idea, she's they type to get into fight macho style and get gibbed in the process...Let's try diplomacy and if things go downhill, tactical retreat...
>>27956569>2 kills (fight to death against A-Class Heroes)Does that mean she was killed twice in the past, or that she's only known to have killed two people?If it's the latter, then she seems relatively harmless. We probably can't take her in a straight fight, but we might as well go and see if we can help. Best-case scenario: we can talk her out of whatever she's doing.
So...We're fighting DIOHow do you guys feel about that?
>>27956569She looks Egyptian! Egyptians love cats! Offer her to play with our kitty if she's nice!
>>27956621I approve this.If she asks we are not on duty
>>27956569Her only kills are when it's kill or be killed, we should be relatively safe trying out diplomacy.
>>27956649>she's they typehe's the type
>>27956569...Well, shit. >>27956599>>27956642These guys seem to have the right idea. Sure, you can't exactly do anything directly, but you can at least get the civies out of the way.
>>27956673That's ImPosing.>reference trolCleayeah, she's totally referencing troll Cleopatra
>Hero Quest>close to Summoned Hero Quest>tfw Darnell is dead
>>27956673Like a rainbow in the dark.
>>27956673I feel like we shouldn't talk to strangers, since they'll only bring us down.
Yeah, no. If she starts actually fighting I am so out of there. But I guess I should at least make sure no one's getting hurt. That's what heroes do, right?>Rena sighs and makes her way towards The Queen of the World.>She sees her sitting atop a golden throne laughing as people carry her along.QW: "Faster, slaves! At this rate we will never reach this the city council in time! Faster!"
>>27956673Well, if we do go and fight her I have a feeling we'll feel like Danny...
>>27956814You should ask her where she's going.Make sure to flatter her, call her 'oh great and powerful ruler of blah blah blah. You know the deal.
>>27956615>>27956673Please, she can't even shoot high-pressure bodily fluid from her eyes. She's nothing compared to Dio. I bet she doesn't even pose.
>>27956838She's going to see the city council.
>>27956814"Wouldn't it be faster to use a car or something?I mean people aren't all that fast, especially when carrying thrones."
>>27956814We should call a taxi for her. We can even pay for the ride.
>>27956814Awkwardly introduce yourself and ask if she'd be so nice to stop being mean to those guys.If she wants to, we could get her a cab, there's no need to be so pushy. Or we could drive her there.
>>27956864>>27956838Err, right. I meant to say "Ask her why she's going there"Why did OP have to run so early...
>>27956814...those are civilians, aren't they? The one's she's making carry her and her throne.How bad does it look for the people carrying her, because they seem pretty unhappy.Any sign of any other hero?
>>27956673Dio? Pfft, please, sure, she's got super strength and practically can't die, but that doesn't mean-->Suddenly realizes that stopping time and appearing elsewhere when time resumes could possibly look like teleportation to an outside view.>Can possibly also "summon" minions by stopping time, grabbing them from where ever, planting them near her, and resuming time.>Has ludicrous charisma, said to be one of Dio's defining traits....Oh fuck. Uh, kid, you might wanna keep your distance from this one.
>>27956814I'm tempted to just drop marbles in the way of her carriers.
>>27956814Ask if she wants us to call her a taxi. Better not to be presumptuous.
>>27956814Discreetly trip the people carrying the throne, making her fall on the ground. Don't let her know it was you no matter what.
>>27956867>>27956875>car/taxiNot pompous enough.
>>27956814Why do you want to see the city council, lady?
>>27956814Throw a rock at her.
>>27956814There's a garage that specializes in thrones over that way *point at the opposite direction of City Council*.I heard the if you like thrones, they'll put additional ones and stuff.
>>27956814Assuming slavery is illegal in this world, we should probably let her know this.
>>27956905Bad idea. That's likely to injure them, and only annoy her.
>>27956905>>27956897No. Very no. Do you really want the people to accidentally get crushed? Just think of the docked pay!
>>27956814...At the risk of getting whisked up by her honeyed voice, we might wanna ask her what she plans on doing at the council. Also, take a glance at her slaves. Hopefully, they're just mooks, rather than civilians that got roped into working for her.
>>27956814Ruin her dress and flee.Or ruin her dress and make it look like accident.She'd never dare to show up in front of the council in dirty clothes.
Why is she showing herself in front of the council at all?She's a goddamn QUEEN, and of the ENTIRE WORLD, no less. She should go home to her palace and call them to come to her. This is beneath someone like her.
>>27956814What's the time? If we're lucky, her slow and inefficient transportation will have made her late, and the city council is closed.
>>27957025Or we might go to the council and inform them that they might want to close earlier today.
>>27956969The people working for her look like they're wearing the same kind of stuff as her. I'm gonna guess they're mooks but unless she summoned them...>>27956931It's pretty illegal."Excuse me, Oh Great and Powerful Leader!"QW: "Hmm? Who dares call out to me!?">She spots Rena and has her people stop.QW: "Who are you!? And why are you not down there helping them move me!?""Ah, I'm Rena, Your Super Awesome Majesty. And I was just wondering why you needed to go see the City Council so bad."QW: "Is it not obvious, slave? They have denied my request to make Queen of the World day a holiday here. I am going there to pay them a more personal visit and FORCE THEM TO AGREE! MWAHAHAHAHA!"...That doesn't sound like that bad of an idea...>>27956969Wait, no, that's a horrible idea. Stay focused, Rena.>>27957025"You know at this rate by the time you get there it'll be closed."QW: "... Is that so?""Yeah. I can call you a taxi if you want."QW: "A what?""A taxi. It's... It's a car that you use to get to places."QW: "A what?"...
>>27957078Silly Queen, the Council doesn't even HAVE the authority to do that!
>>27957078"Um... a horseless chariot? Actually, I thought you'd parade in this town on a chariot or something. Your Queenyness."
"a magic golden chariot"
>>27957078Wait why are we being helpful, curse that charisma. Wanted to direct her home.
>>27957025Its a faster throne that requires less people to make it move
>>27957078"It is a great and fearsome invention, oh queen, designed through years of hard labor and dangerous experiments by your loyal scientists! With it, you can move far faster than these weak, pathetic slaves such as I can ever hope to carry even your feather-light frame, oh radiant one. Don't worry, they made it safe. As your loyal servant, I can call for it, to get you to the council faster."
>>27957078Teach the Queen about cars.
>>27957078"You do realize what century it is right?"
>>27957124>>27957130>>27957144Oh, idea! Let's direct her to a used car dealership. Then watch them go head-to-head, charisma vs. charisma.
>>27957078It's a machine that could get you anywhere you want faster than slaves, that can be pimped out, and that's cheaper to maintain than all these mooks.
>>27957078We need to stall her until more powerful heroes come to deal with her."Oh mighty queen of the world, we just recently kinda got started in the hero business. Since you've fought many I'm sure, would you have any pointers to give us on how to start?"
>>27957078Well, keep focused on task and don't follow her words, but I'm pretty sure it's illegal to force the city council to do stuff. Don't you normally have to fill out forms and things like that?Well, try to explain things more simply?Failing that, maybe try to distract her? Don't let her get to city hall- her voice might be enough to force them to do what she wants. I mean she doesn't even know what a Taxi is. Those are not a recent invention.
>>27957183Why would she help someone who is in the business of stopping her?
She really should get on with the times.Offer her to teach her all about the wonders of the modern world.We'll befriend the Queen.
>>27957078>inb4 she forces us to drive>inb4 she forces us to drive on sidewalks, through peopleBut yeah, better to see one than to hear a hundred timesCall her a taxi
>>27957078"Car is basically horseless chariot made of metal that runs on refined earth-oil. It runs as fast as a horse and only needs one charioteer to steer it. They usually make them out of common iron, but I'm pretty sure it would be possible to have one crafted of gold and decorated with gems..."
>>27957078Uh, Rena? I know you mean well, but...you DO realize allowing her faster transportation means more likely chances of the council becoming nothing more than her lapdogs, right?>>27957178...This...this is a bad idea, but dang it, I'm tempted to see it--I mean NO! Bad idea, bad idea! Besides, the Hero Association would probably bitch us out for helping her out.
>>27957078I remember now larro sucks at drawing cars.
>>27957210Just to throw her off a bit. Any time wasted is our gain.
>>27957169Pretty sure she got that right.Just missed the difference between AD and BC.
>>27957222The way I(And hopefully the hero association) see it is, if we get her a car, she won't need slaves to carry her throne around.
>>27957222EhHelping her means distracting her from causing chaosThat worked for us so far
>>27957130"A golden magical chariot."QW: "What!? I must ride this!""Of course. Only the best for you. However, I gotta say the Council can't really declare anything a national holiday."QW: "They can not? I thought they were the slaves that ruled this tiny land?""Close but not quite."QW: "It seems my information may be a bit dated then...">Rena's Morpher beeps. It appears that Magical Girl Sparkle is on her way. If Rena can stall her for a while longer...QW: "Slave Girl! Call me this 'Taxi'! I will use it to travel and speak to the king of this land! I will seduce him and then he will make every day a day to worship me!"
>>27957178Oh man. This. Do this.With our luck, the dealer will turn out to be a wanted con-man that she'll blast into unconsciousness for us.
>>27957325Call the taxi
>>27957325Oh Queen, I shall thake you to the chariot-master!Then take her to a used car salesman.
>>27957325"Umm. We don't have a king."
>>27957325Have Taxi go to Sparkle. :)
>>27957325Uhh... That's going to be a problem.I'll do what I can, but first, you wanna get some lasagna? I have a friend who cooks a mean lasagna.I could fill you in on how the world works in the meantime.
>>27957325I think we should double time it, don't wanna see the killings happenCall the taxi, direct it to mayor and whatnot
>>27957325Call a taxi, then begin explaining that there is no one king in this land, and tell her about the system of government.
>>27957325>Call the Taxi!A wise move, oh queen. Truly, this humble one is awed by your impressive foresight.
>>27957325>Call me this 'Taxi'! I will use it to travel and speak to the king of this land! I will seduce him and then he will make every day a day to worship me!"This... might actully improve things for everyone. I mean if president of Rena's time is anything like they made them in early 21st century.On serious note... "of course, but the ones you can see on the streets are merely common metal painted yellow. A fake pieces unsuitable for your majesty. Getting proper gold one might take a while to arrange. Oh, they can also come with bar of drinks and television showing images of news around the world and stories complete with sound, would you like these included?"
>>27957325"Uh, your highness, with all due respect...how...old are you?"In before everyone declares I'm an idiot for suggesting that. And likely for good reason.
Call her a taxi and do >>27957358
>>27957078I don't think the city council is actually capable of deciding what is and isn't a holiday. In any case, she's entirely capable of having her own Queen of the World Day party, right? There's no need to gain the approval of mere mortal authorities, is there?>captcha: cannot SwiditBut even a queen can't swidit. Some things are simply beyond anyone's reach.
>>27957325>>27957427Good call, we should probably get her a limo.
>>27957325Every day? If people spend every day worshipping her, they'd hardly have time to serve her other wishes!
>>27957427Of course there is always the limo
>>27957428You're an idiot
>>27957428>Uh, your highness, with all due respect...how...old are you?"No! Seriously, Anon, this should be basic knowledge. You never ask woman her age! Especially if she's vain, egoistical and got superpowers.
>>27957447>>27957471Can we afford thatDo we even have money on us right now?
>>27957486Besides, she's obviously in her 20s. I mean, we wish we looked that nice. Maybe she has some tips to improve our charisma?
>>27957499I'm pretty sure the Hero Association can be billed for expenses while we are doing hero stuff.
>>27957478>>27957486Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought. But let's be fair, if I didn't toss that one out, someone else would've. And legitimately thought it was a good idea.
>>27957486Neither do you lie to a womanNeverNever ever
>>27957427>>27957447>>27957471It might even come with a driver that doubles as a butler. That's pretty much the only servant she'll need.
>>27957505>asking villainess for tips
>>27957325It's times like this where history classes let us tell people who are ACTUALLY ancient from ones who are simply delusional."Not a problem, my lady. Oh, and I'm not a slave - I haven't been contracted or paid."Call her a taxi and have it take her to the airport, ostensibly so you can fly to the UN. Then contact Sparkle and tell her you're taking her there to delay and provide an clear area to fight - the tarmac.
>>27957514But we gotta pay the driver somehow>>27957516I doubt itThat question came out of nowhere
>>27957523Do we really want to hook up a villain with someone who is actually competent?
>>27957519Well, unless you're woman yourself...
"A wise move, oh queen. Truly, this humble one is awed by your impressive foresight."QW: "As you should be! Now, make haste!">She calls a taxi and the two of them enter it. Rena gives him directions and they drive.>Rena's Morpher beeps again. It seems Magical Girl Sparkle has cancelled assisting for the reason of 'Sorry, didn't know you were dealing with her. Good luck'.... Damn>The Queen of the World looks out of window as they ride along.QW: "This is much faster than what I had! With this we should reach it in no time! Hahahahah!... I just realized, it's Sunday. I don't think they're even open."Your Awesomeness, I don't mean to sound rude but how old are you?"QW: "Hmm? Age means nothing to a perfect being such as I! Faster, driver!">>27957499I have money. Lots of it.Bluuuuuhhhhh.... I think I'm screwing this up
>>27957554Who says he has to be competent (besides being able to drive)?
>>27957561Shank her while she's distracted, it's our only chance.
>>27957561Uh....your highness it seems that the City Hall is closed. Maybe you could invade at another time (please?)
>>27957561Message Chet and MGS asking for help.
>>27957561Okay, this is bad. Not only do we have no backup, but we also have to get to the head of state, not city council, in a reasonable time and without going broke on the fare.Any ideas?
>>27957561If they're closed it'll be safe to take her to the right building.
>>27957561"Wanna see how fast we can really go?"Redirect her to highway away from the town.
>>27957561>I have money. Lots of it.Yeah, but, like, on our person. In pocketsAlso, I dunno, city hall open?
>>27957561Well, we're stuck with her now. Let's distract her enough so that she forgets all about this bullshit. Ask her if she'd like a guide and someone to fill her in on how the world runs. Get her ice cream. Get her to an amusement park. Just waste time with her.
>>27957596Ask them to stay in the sidelines in case things go bad, but we can still solve this peacefully.
>>27957561Well the Queen is not doing anything illegal (yet) so there's no need for us to put on any hero moves. She might snap though once she sees they're not open.However... she might be wanted for other stuff. Like killing those two heroes. Maybe we should check that out before helping her any further.
>>27957578He is a butler, of course he is competent.
>>27957561Good luck Rena. I think this is the end.
>>27957561I say go with these:>>27957371>>27957441>>27957358Turn it into a night of teaching her about the modern world and sidetrack her.
>>27957605I like this idea. Let's play tour guide
>>27957602ThisThis is a good distraction if we need one
>>27957561If she's so powerful and beautiful and all why does she cares if people worship her or not?And if she wanted to be loved why doesn't she become a hero? People love heros!
>>27957602Hmmmm...get her carsick, blame the weather in this town, convince her to go home and tend to her immaculate body and health?
>>27957605Take her to the wonders of clothes shopping and shoes.Then a hairdresser, then a masseuse.Man, Rena is gonna be broke after this unless Queenie forks some jewels or gold.
>>27957561Lets introduce her to the internet. As a way to reach hundreds of potential slaves.
>>27957561>"Your Awesomeness, I don't mean to sound rude but how old are you?"OH GOD, WHY WOULD YOU ACTUALLY GO WITH MY SUGGESTION--->She just brushes it off....huh. Didn't see that coming.As for Magical Girl Sparkle cancelling, image related. Hell with it, might as well distract her by showing her a day through the town and it's modern conveniences.
>>27957588Bad ideaBaaaaaaaaad idea
>>27957561Tell her that they aren't meeting today, as it is a Sunday which people take off, and she will have to try tomorrow.
>>27957561"Oh queen, might I suggest that it would simply not do to speak with a ruler while not fully prepared?In your wisdom you surely see the value in carefully researching the way of the world, yes?Shall I have you taken to an expert?"New plan: We hand her off to a college professor in the hopes she either passes out from boredom or enrolls in classes.
>>27957618He doesn't have to be REAL butler.
>>27957647Lol tell her this and convince her to become a hero.Pro strat.
>>27957561Why don't we suggest that she become and idol? That way millions of people will see her. And an Idol Agency might actually be open.
>>27957650We'll put it on the tab of the guys hiring us.Besides, if we manage to befriend her, we might turn her into a hero as well.She seems nice so far, if a little demanding.
>>27957714That...actually doesn't sound like a bad idea. Wonder what the pay is for turning a B rank villain into a relatively harmless idol?
>>27957714Heh, that might just work.
"Uhm... Your Awesome Majestryness?"QW: "Yes, Slave?""It turns out they're actually closed today."QW: "... Excuse me?""They're not open."QW: "... THEY DARE CLOSE ON ME!?" >Rena can sense an immense pressure coming from the Queen of the World."B-but it's okay! They'll be open another time! And since you're already out and about how about I could show you all around! I'm sure there's lots you don't know about this city! I could buy you things!"QW: "... Offerings are always accepted.""Driver, take us to the freeway."We're getting far away from town.This is gonna hurt my wallet...--------------------------------------------------------->A few hours of shopping later and Rena and the Queen of the World found themselves outside of an ice cream parlor. Rena is nearly flat broke.QW: "This has been an amusing day. Each time I return to this plane I forget what I had learned about it previously so this was a nice surprise. I like you. Become my slave, forever!"<Roll to resist!>
>>27957855Okay but I don't do physical labour. Also I'll need lasagna.
>>27957855What's the dice, yo
Rolled 3>>27957855Rolling-- wait, what die?
Rolled 10>>27957855Shit shit SHIIIIIII---Wait, how high are we talking here? 20? I'm just going to assume that.
>>27957855I hope we can get recompensation from hero association, on grounds of deusing a potential disaster...
>>27957880>>27957882>>27957884Whoops, 1d20 will do. My mistake
>>27957855Do a barrel roll!
>>27957880Oh wow. That's alot better than the 10 I rolled. Hope it's supposed to be a d100. Kinda.
Rolled 75>>27957855"I'll do you one better - I'll become your friend!"
Rolled 18>>27957906>that picToo cute
>>27957906Ah. Well. >>27957884 here.I'm sorry I failed you all.
>>27957906Well, the first roll was >>27957880 and he used a d100, so we can just divide the result by five.
Rolled 3>>27957906Yeah, what ARE the rolling conventions for this quest?>>27957927Don't think this will work, but I like it.
Rolled 18>>27957855>>27957906We no Mind slave
I guess this is why she's registered as a villain in the records...
>>27957967Well, if we're her slave, she can't hang out with us, right? It'd be beneath her.
So how's this work? Best of three or what? Not looking so good to be honest.
>>27957906high or low?
>>27957855>Flat brokeThat 5000 didnt last long.At all.This mission had better pay well.
>>27957921>>27957931IN BRIGHTEST DAY, IN BLACKEST NIGHT, NO EVIL SHALL ESCAPE MY SIGHT. LET THOSE WHO WORSHIP EVIL'S MIGHT, BEWARE MY POWER, GREEN LA--Oh shit, wrong hero. Still, that should be enough willpower....hopefully.
>>27958033We'll get the Hero Association to pay us back for this.
>>27958060And considering she's a B rank, we should be paid rather nicely.
<High roll is best. Results are taken out of an average at the time I start writing the update.>>Rena has failed to resist the Queen of the World's Charms."Yes, my Queen."QW:"HAHAHAHAHAHAH! You're mine now!"====================================>You are now Magical Princess Sparkle. She is an alcoholic, unusually powerful, and magical S-Class Hero. She is sitting around now wondering why The Queen of the World hasn't been reported as defeated yet.
Rolled 8>>27958000You mean you don't play chess with your most competent slave/best friend/advisor? Man, you must live a lonely life.
>>27957855>QW: "This has been an amusing day. Each time I return to this plane I forget what I had learned about it previously so this was a nice surpriseWe need to buy her a diary.
>>27958069Reflect on how we got a sweet robot arm.
>>27958069Well that's what happens when you hit way outside your weight class
Rolled 32BAD END
>>27958069I think it's time to snipe that mark. We should be able to muscle out some of the mulah if we go in and save the day.Even if it doesn't need saving.
>>27958069FUUUU---Uh, right, might as well check out where the kid last was with her.
>>27958069"Goddammit kid. Don't get yourself killed so fast..."Go check it out.>AverageThats doesn't bode well for our rolls in the future
Rolled 12>>27958069Call up whoever was dealing with her and find out why she hasn't been defeated yet. While enjoying my juice box.
>>27958069Find Rena. Chew out the Queen for using mind control. That's why she doesn't have any friends.>>27958070She probably is lonely.
>>27958069We got magic, right? Magically locate Rena, check on how she's doing
>>27958069Let's check why the other heroes are slacking off. Queen is a mere B-class so we really shouldn't be bothering and stealing someone's thunder who needs the victory more.
>>27958069Remember that Rena has no powers and was probably only distracting the queen
Rolled 19>>27958069How long have we been drinking this juice box? It can't possibly be the same one we were drinking before, right?
>>27958069Raise a drink to her. At least she lasted two days.
>>27958141It's a magical juice box, I ain't gotta explain shit.
>>27958069As usual, you're left cleaning up every mess in a 100 mile radius. Clean up the Queen quickly so you can return to lazing about.
As a reminder, we're at page 8 now.
>>27958069Are there ever any modifiers, or is it just flat luck?
>>27958172By lazing about, you mean possibly brooding over your past and lost friends, right?
>>27958069Suddenly realize we expected a C rank with no powers or equipment to beat a B rank villain that killed two A rank heroes, and was probably only trying to survive long enough for backup to get there.FEEL BAD ABOUT DROPPING THE BALL ON HER LIKE THAT, THEN GO RESCUE HER!
>>27958141The bottom of it connects to the plane of everlasting whiskey.
>>27958069Better make that best out of 5 or something, averages usually don't work. With the typical nat 1 as a critical failure and nat 20 as a critical success.
>>27958191Should I start a new thread or wrap it up here?
>>27958227New thread if you are up for it. I know I am.
>>27958227NEW THREADThis is amazing
>>27958227Wait til ya hit p10. You still have a bit of time after that
>>27958227new plz plzplzplzplzpzzlzpzlzplzpzlzplz
>>27958227New thread. Just archive this one before that.>>27958223Nah, Protoculture drew it in a drawthread a while ago.
>>27958227New thread. Currently archiving.
>>27958213What kind of whiskey?
Alright, I'll update to a good stopping point then make a new thread.
>>27958267And Archived: suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/27953159
>>27958298Ah, yes, the whiskey of choice of magical girls everywhere.
>>27958221<I think I'll use that from now on>>>27958084Science team made it after my old one was ripped off.>>27958129...>>27958144You tried, kid. Seeya.Wait. I should help her.>>27958141Magic.>>27958117>Magic>>27958117....God dammit...
>>27958386Can you remotely break the curse? No need to get up or anything.
>>27958386SAVE THE DAY HERO
>>27958386We should probably try to take care of that.What methods can we use to counteract the charm that the Queen has on Rena?
>>27958386Don't you have an A-class minion you cans end to save the day instead?
>>27958486We did encourage that girl to do her thing so maybe... we're resonsible? Since magical girl's life is suffering, perhaps we should see it that way?
Rolled 7>>27958413>>27958465Send magical message directly to Rena's brain:"ur a faget"That should snap her out of it.
>>27958386Yeah, responsibility's a bitch, but someone's gotta do it, otherwise this world would probably turn to shit (or even more into shit, depending on how you view the world). At least it'll allow you to show off a little, just like back in the old days, when you didn't know jack shit about the details involved in your powers.
>>27958386I wish i was being brain washed. That's why i drink in the first place
>>27958465There's killing The Queen of the World. She'll just come back to life and it will break her hold.>>27958527>>27958537>>27958439Yeah. It is my fault.I think I'll go save her...>She sighs."Time to get... Magical."I hate having to say that.
>>27958386Dosh is on the go. Better go grab it. Magic ain't gonna keep refilling your glass forever...Besides you always wanted to upgrade your arm to cannon arm. Magic is nice but it never hurts to have a backup piece for times you meet those pesky anti-magic villains.
>>27958583>theme melody & transform sequence
>>27958605What I wouldn't give for Larro to make a transformation .gif
>>27958583> "Time to get... Magical."We'll be kawaii as fuck. And we'll hate every moment of it.
>>27958764 new thread
>>27958583Hey don't throw your juicy box on the ground!