PREVIOUSLY on A Black Comedy: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=A%20Black%20Comedy======This warehouse is dark, an oppressive sense of evil pressing down from each direction.You stand before a black and bloodied altar, half recognized occult symbols smeared in goat's blood all around you. Daylight creeps in through the crack beneath the door slammed shut by the force of the ritual's completion. Tattered robes stained with midnight litter the haphazard chapel that had been built amongst the barrels of grain, all that remain of a mad cult bent upon bringing ruin to the world. In the back of your mind, a chorus of a thousand screaming voices sings a melody of the sins of man, and the debauched and harrowed afterlife faced by those who choose the side of Evil.In the center, a beast of eyes and blackened fire floats, taking the shape of a set of interlocking wheels bent in some perverse and non-euclidean geometry that your mind cannot fully comprehend. You stare at it, knowing it to be an outsider from the deepest pits, but incapable of placing it amongst the servants of the Deadly Twelve. No matter - your weapon, a glaive of purest orichalcum, stands at the ready. You are the very picture of a hero, facing down...!Okay, you can't say that with a straight face.You were the one who summoned the bloody thing after all. Well, less summoned and more "got a bit carried away correcting the cultist's ritual." Really, it's not -your- fault they all got their souls... eaten? Yes, eaten is probably the best word... by the eye-wheely thingamajig that popped up. You're actually a bit surprised at how powerful this thing seems to be - sure, the impromptu sacrifice has nice tits, but they weren't -that- nice. >Field too long
>>27727696Honestly, you were expecting a babau at most. -Maybe- a succubus or a nabasu, certainly not whatever the hell this thing is. Of course, you don't have much time to contemplate whatever the deuce it is before it turns back to you, finished with its meal of slurried cultist souls. [THE OFFERING WAS ACCEPTABLE, THE PACT IS SEALED] it sort of sings into your mind. [STATE YOUR DESIRE, summoner, AND I SHALL FULFILL IT]>Hold on a second, pact? I didn't sign for a bloody fucking pact.>You ate the souls of Melvin and his followers, any chance you can teach me how to do that?>Well, I do like making people suffer. What can you offer in that regard?>That thing you did, where you threw people around. That would certainly make life a bit more interesting.>[WRITE IN]
Quinn Taylor: http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=651682Miss Blue: http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=652565
Rolled 3 + 2>>27727703>What's the catch momma always tells me to read the fine lines before entering a contract.
>>27727703wtf? i thought we did this part
>>27727703>>You ate the souls of Melvin and his followers, any chance you can teach me how to do that?
>>27727920also greetings from villain quest
Rolled 12 + 2>>27727938shhh, I don't do not want to have boobies.
>>27727703>You ate the souls of Melvin and his followers, any chance you can teach me how to do that?
>>27727864People got buttmad because Quinn misplaced his hyperweapon and they didn't have a chance to nope on out of there. So, while similar choices will lead to similar misplacements of Quinn's hyperweapon, people can't bitch about "muh railroading".
Uhm, the op pic means that we will end up inadvertitely killing ourselves in the worst and most stupid way possible and with the most anticlimatic timing a human brain can conceive?...count me in
>>27727703>Hold on a pact? I didn't sing for a bloody fucking pact! but meh as long as you are here, any chance you can teach me that soul eating trick.
>>27727703>You ate the souls of Melvin and his followers, any chance you can teach me how to do that?Succubus has Polymorph at will in PF anyway.
>>27727962Everything is better with tits
>>27727703>Well, I do like making people suffer. What can you offer in that regard?Guys, guys, why are we picking the known lose-your-hyperweapon choice when we can pick the Kotomine choice?Its like a whole new mystery box!
>>27727996just grip our spear tight, or does it transform into a cup haha
>>27728062fuck it we can find a replacement
>>27728062Because holy shit those ability score boosts and that DR and resistances.
All right, well, the majority vote seems to not care that Quinn'll have to figure out where he stashed his hyperweapon, so off we go!
"That was a pretty neat trick you pulled there," you tell the Demon. "You... I don't know -what- you did, but where you turned them all into a soul slurry and just drained them dry of their -selves-. Man, being able to do that... oh, the amount of death and suffering I could bring in Tepe's name. It would be so much -fun-."The Demon looks at you square in the eye. You return the intense gaze, trying to not break contact with all of the uncountable eyes that dot the figure. Really a bad idea, now that you think on it, considering that whatever the hell this thing is, it's -made- of eyes. And fire, a flame that burns so bright that you honestly can't stare at it for too long, unless you want to burn your sight away.[THIS POWER IS BEYOND MY ABILITY TO GRANT.]Your shoulders slump. Well that's disappointing - you were sort of looking forward to making a collection. A collection of souls, plucked fresh from your fallen enemies, that you might be able to continue tormenting them after their deaths. Creating a little chorus of despair and agony of your own, to sing you softly to sleep every night. Truly a beautiful desire...[HOWEVER, A SIMILIAR ABILITY IS WITHIN MY MEANS. DO YOU ACCEPT, summoner?]"HELLS YEAH!" you all but shout in glee. "Hit me with it, Wheel and Fire Eye Guy. Grant me the power to taste the souls of my enemies, and immortalize their everlasting despair!"[VERY WELL. THE PACT IS COMPLETE.]You wonder for a moment what he means.And then your entire vision turns -white-. Sweet Tepes impaling children in the Black Forests of Wallachia, whatever that thing did to you -hurts-. You hear a silent chuckling, and try to spit at the fucking bastard. You've had worse pains, once, when you were poisoned with that thing that made all of your muscles twitch at once, breaking your skeleton. But this one is less all of your bones shattering simultaneously, and more white hot liquid fire being poured through your veins.>Field too long.
Rolled 19 + 2>>27728109I do, we need it for our paladin
>>27728109in a corps? the cart? stabbed into the roof? in our cunt?
>>27727996Did we get the change shape special quality?Because if so, I hardly see how it matters when it's specifically stated to work indefinitely for no cost.>You ate the souls of Melvin and his followers, any chance you can teach me how to do that?If no change shape: >Well, I do like making people suffer. What can you offer in that regard?
>>27728144You smell the stench of sulfur.You wake up to a strong arm shaking you shoulder - you can feel the gauntlets grasping through your Kikko. For some reason it feels a bit tight, particularly around your chest. Your hair dangles down in front of your eyes - Tepes, how long have you been out? The voice speaking to you is clearly worried - maybe it's Tom or Amelia - and slowly drags itself into focus."Miss," it says. "Miss, are you alright?"You take a look at the fellow shaking you awake - shiny fullplate, reddish-brown hair, almond eyes, and tanned skin.>Okay lad, I know you're stunned by my beauty, but I -am- a man, after all.>That's odd. I don't remember getting kicked in the head by a goat last night.>OH SWEET TEPES WHAT THE DEVIL DID THAT THING DO TO ME?>[WRITE IN]
Rolled 19 + 2>>27728165>OH SWEET TEPES WHAT THE DEVIL DID THAT THING DO TO ME?My hypderweapon!
>>27728165>>That's odd. I don't remember getting kicked in the head by a goat last night.>That's odd. I don't remember getting kicked in the head by a goat last night.
>>27728165>That's odd. I don't remember getting kicked in the head by a goat last night.How bad can it be? like realy.
>>27728165>OH SWEET TEPES WHAT THE DEVIL DID THAT THING DO TO ME?mild panic
>>27728165>That's odd. I don't remember getting kicked in the head by a goat last night.
Damn it. I need to go and I see that this is back too?Aww. We still went demon? At least let's keep it from Blue. It kinda lessens the impact of our evil.
>>27728506It would be kinda funny if we eventually revealed to her that we turned into a demon after she met us, then ask if she noticed the switch
>>27728619True, and the stat boosts and shapesifting will make it even easier to fuck with her mind just change into one of her old friends or something while she has her mind addled by something.
>>27728619So we change from a mortal being literally made of evil and no one can tell the difference? I'm cool with that.
>>27728165>>That's odd. I don't remember getting kicked in the head by a goat last night.
"That's odd," you slur, your voice thick as mercury and your pitch an octave higher than you remember. "I don't remember getting kicked in the head by a goat last night.""Not a goat." You look up and see a walking cliche. Blonde hair, blue eyes, the Sigil of Hector proudly emblazoned upon his armor and a greatsword slung across his back. Really, all the picture needs is a bit of dramatic wind to make that cape of his flutter, and he'll transform into exactly the sort of fellow that you like to torture to death. "Some manner of demon, I believe. See the sigils upon the ground? Some manner of ritual happened here, barely hours ago, given how fresh the blood is upon the alter."His gaze darkens."You need not fear, though, miss," he declares. No doubt he thinks you some armed guard - though why he keeps calling you -miss- is beyond you - contracted by the Wintram Company. "My compatriots have been following on the heels of this black coven of cultists for three months now, but this ritual seems to have backfired. With them dead, the world is a safer place."You turn away from your "savior" to vomit, but nothing comes up. Naturally, the knightly fellow believes that you are sickened by the slurried remnants of the cultists and the stink of death that now permeates the warehouse, and you really feel no need to correct him. You... you... -you did a good deed- by killing those cultists! Sure, they may have been grossly incompetent, but if a pack of goody two-shoes like this guy had been chasing them for months, who knows how much evil they had been doing!"How many did they kill," you ask, "before they met their end here?">Field too long.
>>27729149"There were two hundred and forty seven disappearances over the last month that we've connected to them," the Knight says. "Mostly shut-ins and orphans - those without many friends, who wouldn't be missed once they were gone. And that doesn't count any... -slaves- that they stole away, though perhaps death upon the alter would have been a mercy..."Your eyes widen in horror.You really did make the world a better place.You stumble for a moment, reaching for your spear, which must have clattered to the ground when the Wheel of Flame and Eyes did... whatever it was he did to you. Tepes teaches that for every man, woman, and child whose lives you save, you must take two more in their place. Given how quick these Knight Errants were to find you after their ritual ended, you'd say about a week's worth of victims were spared the knife. Two score and half a dozen, you'd say - that is your penance for this... this -travesty-.You may as well start now. Papa Vladimir is a God of action, after all...>Assess the knight, look for his Weak Points! [Roll 1d20]>Attack the knight now, while his back is turned! [Roll 1d20]>Fade into the shadows of the warehouse and wait for the rest of his party to gather. [Roll 1d20]>[WRITE IN]
Rolled 6>>27729165>Fade into the shadows of the warehouse and wait for the rest of his party to gather. [Roll 1d20]
Rolled 6>>27729165>Fade into the shadows of the warehouse and wait for the rest of his party to gather. [Roll 1d20]blahblahblah something about a patient hunter blah blah blah
>>27729165>Attack the knight now, while his back is turned! [Roll 1d20]
Rolled 17>>27729165>>Assess the knight, look for his Weak Points! [Roll 1d20]have him help us look for our weapon
Rolled 7>>27729165>Fade into the shadows of the warehouse and wait for the rest of his party to gather. [Roll 1d20]
>>27729277god dammit one off of being divine favour
Rolled 1>>27729165Assess the knight
>>27729737I know right?
[Best of First Three: 17][Stealth Check: 17+12=29][DC = ???][???]Killing this fellow right now would probably be a piece of cake. He's been extremely accomodating in that regard, turning his back to you and regarding you with less suspicion than you really ought to give the sole survivor of a summoning ritual that slaughtered all of its participants. But you figure why kill one now, when you could wait for all of his little friends to come around and kill them too? That way you won't have to deal with the next one who comes in being a pest and warning their friends that something's out to kill them.You slip into the darkness amongst the crates, quietly as a mouse, never taking your eyes off of the Knight. He is too preoccupied with his examinations of the circle, no doubt trying to put two and two together to figure out just what sort of ritual this was meant to be. You make no sound as you step past barrels of apples, crates of nails, bags of flour and crates of every spice you could imagine.Wintram's got a good operation goin on here - you wonder just how much of it he bought legit, and how much of it he had brought in from the bandits on his pay-The sound of metal scraping metal is all that alerts you to a pair of shortsword whipping from the darkness. It was a clumsy attack, but not ineffective - one of them bounced off of your armor with a gong like ring, but the other digs into your side. There is blood, but the wound is superficial, not quite able to slice as deep as it should have."So..." the knight says. "You were the creature that they summoned. A demon taking the form of a woman... I had suspected, but..."Halfway through his sentence, a hawk dives through one of the crates and touches skims you. The claws do not break through the flesh, but even for that you feel stiffer, as though your muscles had been calcified ever so slightly. You snarl into the darkness.>Field too long.
>>27729806You hate being on the wrong side of an ambush. [Roll 1d20]>Attack the Gnome who shanked you with all of your strength.>Attempt to pluck the Hawk out of the air, before it escapes your reach.>Try to trap the Gnome in one of the barrels.>Try to trap the Hawk in one of the crates.>Demoralize them with a display of prowess!>[WRITE IN]
Your Hit Points: [158/170] [1 Dex Damage!]Knight's Hit Points: [80/80]Rogue's Hit Points: [60/60]
Rolled 1>>27729829Attack the gnome and show our prowess by sending it's head flying over to the knight
>>27729829>>Try to trap the Gnome in one of the barrels. then shout the dumb one we caught a demon and toss the barrel into the center of the place
Rolled 13>>27729829>Attempt to pluck the Hawk out of the air, before it escapes your reach.Kill the debuffer first.
>>27729880Not with that sort of role you won't.
Rolled 3>>27729829>Attack the Gnome who shanked you with all of your strengthFuck the gnome, gnomes are fuggly as shit
>>27729752>>27729880Dice a are not liking our glorious return
Rolled 7>>27729829>Attack the Gnome who shanked you with all of your strength.
Rolled 14>>27729829DESTROY THE GNOME
Rolled 8>>27729829>Attempt to pluck the Hawk out of the air, before it escapes your reach.Thank you for coming back.
Rolled 15>>27729829>Attack the Gnome who shanked you with all of your strength.Always hated gnomes
Rolled 14>>27729829>Try to trap the Gnome in one of the barrels.
Rolled 3>>27729829>Try to trap the Hawk in one of the crates.We need to disable the debuffer, and we don't want to risk touching it either.
>>27729829>trap gnome in barrel>hammer nails into the side of the barrel>roll it down a hill
[Best of First Three: 13][Attack Roll: 13+21=34][Iterative Attack Roll: 13+16=29][Armor Class 24: Both attacks hit!][Damage: 33*2=66]You always liked fighting gnomes. Them and halflings - not that you could ever tell the bloody difference between the two - something about snuffing their lives out always tickled you in a funny way. Probably because they look so much like children. You get a halfway decent fight out of them, -and- everyone and their mother get's offended when you desecrate their corpses in the name of Papa Vladimir.And this little cunt, well she stabbed you! Twice! Well, tried to twice, at any rate, though her outher little sword didn't quite make the cut. So clearly your justified by the letter of the law to brutally murder her and violate her corpse in ways that just aren't polite to describe in gentle company!"That was a mistake, lass," you drawl at her, your orichalcum glaive looming in the non-light. Again, you've got an extra octave on you, but in the heat of the moment you forget to care. "See, I don't like it when little twats like you and your friend get clever and start thinkin'."You slam her once with your glaive, ripping through the boiled leather she called "armor" like so much rice paper."See, -thinkin'- people are dangerous!" you chuckle. "You make things difficult on yourself, cause between you, mister white knight, and whatever sloppy bitch what owns the hawk, one of you'll get it in your heads to run!"Your glaive whips around once more, gleaming like bloody golden lightning in the dark of the inventory. The gnome tries to dodge out of the way, but all she gets for her efforts is her guts spilt onto the floor, rather than a nice and clean dissection."And when one of you twits run," you spit, letting her drop to the floor and bleed out. "Then I've got to hunt you down! And you won't be able to get no rest, cause you'll be too afraid of me stepping through your window and carvin' out your entrails!">Field
>>27730599Of course, now that the little backstabber is dead, the good Knight gets it in his head to charge you. He's actually quite fast for all that armor he's wearing - probably a spell or two making it light as a feather - and he pulls out his greatsword with speed that you don't ofte see on the battlefield. Type of thing you usually see from a Sword Saint, if you've still got a head for your obscure techniques - Iaijutsu, they call it."Shut-" He says, as the sword leaves the sheath. It makes a single arc, vaguely reminiscent of a pale crescent moon as it cuts by you, tremendously fast. Oh, this one might be entertaining~"UP!"He skids nearly fifteen feet after his swing, letting the friction ease his momentum before twirling his sword around and placing it back in his sheath. You'd criticize his style, but that' probably the only trick he knows - cutting fast and quick and getting out of reach before his enemy has time to retaliate. Impressive, but honestly, that sort of showboating shouldn't leave the dojo.You turn to him, vaguely aware of the wound he gave you, and grin as you dance out of the path of the Hawk's next dive."Make me." [Roll 1d20]>Pin the Hawk to the ground before it can swoop back up.>Cut the Hawk in two.>Charge the Knight and show him why you shouldn't showboat in a battle.>Charge the Knight and knock him off his feet.>[WRITE IN]
Quinn's HP: [134/170] [1 Dex Damage]Knight's HP: [80/80]Gnome's HP: [-6/60]Hawk's HP: [20/20]
Rolled 16>>27730614>Pin the Hawk to the ground before it can swoop back up."Hmm, I wonder who this belongs to. Familiar, animal companion, shapeshifted Druid? Don't tell me you're into birds Sir Knight!"
Rolled 11>>27730614>>Cut the Hawk in two.Fukken birds
Rolled 9>>27730614>Cut the Hawk in two.Disable the debilitating one. Ability damage is always harder to heal.
Rolled 18>>27730614>Pin the Hawk to the ground before it can swoop back up.
>>27730614>Pin the Hawk to the ground before it can swoop back up
Rolled 16>>27730614Throw the gnome at the knight
Rolled 3>>27730614>Cut the Hawk in two.No need for anything fancy, it's pretty fragile, just chop it in half.
>>27730614>show him why you shouldn't showboat in a battleOh, come on, rule #1 is that you SHOULD showboat in battle! But only if you're good enough.Which he isn't.At any rate...>Pin the Hawk to the ground before it can swoop back up.If whoever belongs to this hawk is even half as attached to it as our Blue friend was to her steed, we owe it to ourselves to extract maximum value out of dispatching it.
Rolled 63>>27730614>>27730720Why the hell not! sounds fun.
>>27730792That was my thinking as well. Worst comes to worst, we can cut its wings off and leave it to bleed to death with no way to reach the sky. Or bring it home and eat it.
Rolled 20>>27730720Let's do the Carrie shall we?
Rolled 17>>27730792This is true.I'd rather show him how to showboat properly. Give him a glimpse at true brilliance before his miserable life is over.
Rolled 91>>27730903well i guess the gnomes are aerodynamic projectiles.
[x]pin hawk to the ground[x]suspect you are a succubus now[x]mentally flail around trying to activate related powers
>>27730614Use the stored spell on the knight, the disarming one.
[Best of First Three: 16][CMB Roll: 16+22=38][Hawk's CMD: 24][SUCCESS!]Not particularly wanting to have to deal with the cawing little shit and its... you're fairly certain the spell imbued to it is Calcifying Touch. Point is, you don't want to deal with that sort of shit, as you like not being turned into a statue. Really, it's your ideal state of living, being fleshy and whatnot - even if whatever the fuck that demon did left you a bit tight in your armor. So as it fails miserably to dive into your face and deliver its master's spell, you pull out one of the many hooked daggers that you like to keep on you, and stab it through the wing before it can pull up and swoop off into the rafters.For the first time in pretty much ever, you're kind of thankful that ol' Wintram never followed your advice and tiled the floors. You blade sinks into the wooden planks near as easily as dirt, and it's hooks grab on to the wood, leaving the feathered turd flopping about like a fish out of water."I'll deal with you later, little fellow," you say, stroking it's head before you get back up. "Got a friend who knows how to cook all sorts of poultry up just fine - a sprig of thyme, a bit of lemon, and a pinch of garlic and you'll be readdy for any table...""I said..." the Knight seems to think you give a rat's arse what he says, and looks to be readying that silly bit of Dojo showboating."You know, that's not really all that impressi-""SHUT UP!" There is a decisive clang, which to the more dramatically inclined would have been the perfect noise with which your end - as a villain - would be marked. Unfortunately, the rules of Drama do not interact all that well with the rules that your universe runs by, as while sparks do fly from the impact, you have lazily caught his blade with your glaive.>Field too long.
>>27731317"I mean really," you continue, unfazed. "I imagine it looks cool enough that all the sluts what mold their breastplates to their tits are lining up at the dojo to see what you can do with your other sword, but really, the technique has no staying power." You grin. "That gnome bitch must have been really disappointed to find that out, I imagine."You've got a bit of Opportunity here to use. [Roll 1d20]>Turn the tables and trip the pretty boy up.>Flip his sword out of the way and try to impale him.>Unleash that spell you caught from that cleric.>[WRITE IN]
Rolled 6>>27731347>Flip his sword out of the way and try to impale
>>27731347>Unleash that spell you caught from that cleric.Get rid of his sword then kill him.
Rolled 12>>27731347>Unleash that spell you caught from that cleric.After that, we're going for the legs. Crippling people is always fun.
Rolled 1>>27731347>>Turn the tables and trip the pretty boy up.Speed seems his advantage, rather than skill.
Rolled 7>>27731347>Unleash that spell you caught from that cleric.Let's have some fun with him.
>>27731419Yes there we go. You know the description of to the pain from the Princess Bride? Let's do that to him.
Rolled 14>>27731347>Flip his sword out of the way and try to impale him.See if we can't disarm him and if possible while doing so get his sword stuck into the ceiling. Then take out his legs and mock him for not being able to reach his weapon. Without his weapon he can't really do much to us.I wouldn't use Burning Disarm because he can elect to just take the 5d4, I think it's 5d4, damage from it and not lose the weapon. Which doesn't really help us much.
Rolled 15>>27731347>Unleash that spell you caught from that clericand the go with destroying his legs.
>>27731462The quote for these."'To the pain' means that the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists, next your nose... The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right... Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why: so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish; every babe that weeps at your approach; every woman who cries out, 'Dear God! What is that thing?' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what 'to the pain' means; it means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever."
Rolled 7>>27731347>unleash the spell from the cleric
>>27731347>>Unleash that spell you caught from that cleric.>>27731464>I wouldn't use Burning Disarm because he can elect to just take the 5d4, I think it's 5d4, damage from it and not lose the weapon. Which doesn't really help us much.Even if he doesn't drop his weapon, we're still at an advantage against him, and unloading our stored spell means we have the opportunity to store something more practical the next time we come up against some sort of caster.That, and he's also very likely to have to try and drop his weapon, seeing as a spell-storing weapon requires a damaging attack to connect in order to cast the stored spell.Taking an attack from us will probably put him to an HP value where he can't really afford to take 5d4 damage on a whim.
>>27731413>>27731419>>27731453>>27731487>>27731534>>27731571It's a level 1 spell, one of two things will happen, he can drop his weapon on a successful reflex save if he so chooses, or he can take at the maximum 5d4 damage, which is on average about 12.5. If he's at all smart he'll take the damage and keep the weapon, and we can do a lot more damage than that by just stabbing him so honestly it's best to just kill him, or disarm him normally.
Rolled 5>>27731347>Unleash that spell you caught from that cleric.I really do like the dialogue in this quest.
>>27731601He seems dumb enough to drop it. It's not like we'll have much trouble killing him anyway.
Unleashing a spell from an orichalcum blade is a bit trickier than doing so from one that has been enchanted as "spell storing," mostly because the material sucks up magic harder than a five copper alleyway whore. It's not just a catch and release, all you've got to do is stab someone and the spell gets released - though it's not like you -can't- stab someone and release the spell. You just have to have a working knowledge of magic, or else all it's really good for is parrying spells once it's had its full.Fortunately, you're not the type of fighter what just sits on his thumbs and hits people as hard as he can. You've got some brainmeats on you, and you've killed enough spellcasters to get a working knowledge of how magic works, even if it isn't exactly your cup of tea.Your glaive flashes, a bright redness welling up from it's core and jumping from the edge of your blade onto his. The greatsword glows with a crackling flame, turning white hot for the briefest of instants, just enough to sear the other fellows hands. With a yelp he let's the sword drop before it has a chance to catch his hands alight, and you kick it away."And now your weapon's fallen off! And speaking of castration, I think we'll..."Something hits you, that really should have hit you a few minutes ago. Not, of course, whatever ray spell the wizard in the corner was casting - you side step that pretty easily and chortle a bit when the Knight catches fire. No, what hits you comes as you try to form various metaphors implying the knight's impotence, how he's less than a man, and other insults revolving around the fact that he doesn't have his sword anymore."Sweet Tepes on the fields of Wallachia!" You swear as it hits you. "Oh that mother fucker! -My- weapon's fallen off now - that son of a bitch turned me into a woman! This is -worse- than the time I helped that aberration out.">Field too long.
>>27732152[Roll 1d20]>"Well, I guess I can make up with it by piercing you through with my mighty lance." >Have existential crisis in which you repent and join a Helenistic Convent. Or at least pretend to, so you can get a better shot at the Wizard. >Trip the Knight. Then imply you're going to do horrible things to him.>[WRITE IN]
Rolled 20>>27732178>"Well, I guess I can make up with it by piercing you through with my mighty lance."
Rolled 3>>27732178>"Well, I guess I can make up with it by piercing you through with my mighty lance.">>27732200Nice
>>27732178>Trip the Knight. Then>"Well, I guess I can make up with it by piercing you through with my mighty lance."
Rolled 10>>27732178>>"Well, I guess I can make up with it by piercing you through with my mighty lance."
There's only one thing to do: after this battle is over we must make sure the transformation hasn't affected our mind and sexuality. If we can't bring ourselves to brutally rape the we captured paladin, then obviously our mind has been warped female as well
>>27732200Who needs a lance when you've got a LANCE.
>>27732178>"Well, I guess I can make up with it by piercing you through with my mighty lance."EXCESSIVE COMPENSATION IS GO
>>27732224And the best part of that 20? First roll in the quest. Never bothered rolling before now.
Rolled 12>>27732178Pin knight to floor with lance (tightly!)Serpentine run til we can grapple the caster into submission. We may not be trained hand-to-hand but its still better over nearly any skinny spellslinger.
>>27732235We do have a mostly-dead gnome here that we could use for the same test, you know. Well, if she gets stabilized, anyway. Not going for the dead chicks.On the other hand, I guess we could just sort of gauge our emotions while we torture the male heroes to death and try to judge whether we feel more like we normally do when we're brutally slaughtering a man, or like we do when we're brutally slaughtering a woman? Not exactly a foolproof test, but who knows...
>>27732313I meant the one that's already trussed up that we brought to the manor and have been basting like a fear turkey
>>27732348I know who you meant. It's just, we've already spent a bunch of time on that one and we've got a lot of evil in our heart; why not spread it around? We've got to kill 43 more people even after these adventurers just for penance. Well, 42 if the hawk is a person.
>>27732390If it's a familiar it only counts as part of a person.
>>27732348Speaking of her, are we still consodering using profane gift to boost her "charisma" (if you know what I mean)?
>>27732348I agree with this man
>>27732390Eh, I guess gnomes just don't do it for me. And testing whether or not the tranformation has affected our mind by how much we DO want to rape the knight seems like it'd be prone to false positives. IOH GODDAMMIT we're going to have to convince all of our contacts of our identity until we get a girdle of gender changing.
Oh MAN. Ive been awaiting the return of this quest.
>>27732313Depends how quickly we work out that we have turned into a succubus.Because they have Change Shape.
Rolled 17>>27732559We should shapeshift into her elf companion before raping her
>>27732577I think we have to figure out shape shifting before we can use it.
>>27732539You are aware we could just change our form AS WE ARE A GODSDAMN SUCCUBU
>>27732606Funny how useful that could be in non-rapey situations too. But that is a discussion for another time.
>>27732577Now we're getting edgy.Which is appropriate, I guess? It just seems a little tasteless though, resorting to rape right away.
>>27732577We've already set the course for stockholm syndrome/apprentice with our captured pally. Rape is a fools choice to base that allegience on.>amixpla Godchtulu wills it so
>>27732692This anon has his head on right.
[Best of First Three: Natural Twenty][CRITICAL SUCCESS!][132 Damage Total]"Ah, well, I suppose I can make up for it," you say regretfully. "I mean, it won't be the -same-, but since the gnome whore's already dead and dying, I may as well pierce you through with my mighty lance.""What..." The Knight stammers out. "What the FUCK?""Indeed!" you say. "Only with less my penis in someone's vagina and more symbolism. Cause I'm a dame now."Before the Knight can further respond, or even gather his wits about him and flee from the scene, you lash out with you glaive, impale him through his chest. With... actually a bit less effort than normal, you're surprised to admit... you heave the impaled knight up over your head and into the air. And then, because you really don't want to leave the metaphor alone, you start pumping the spear up and down, giggling girlishly as the now -thoroughly- dead Knight starts bouncing.You turn to the Wizard, who has now pissed herself in fear, catch her eyes with a malicious grin."Oh, hey! You haven't ran away yet." You state, as if you were greeting an old friend. "I'm going to be perfectly honest: if you value your life, that's probably a mistake. Because as much of a blast as this extended metaphor is - and believe me, it's quite amusing - there just seems to be something missing. Probably because he doesn't have any jiggly bits bouncing around with him, and so he's just sort of flopping there.""You... I'll... stay... stay back...""But I'm bored now," you say, tossing the Knight's corpse off of your blade. "And, well, you do have jiggly bits. So I imagine you'll be a bit more fun.">Field too long.
>>27732821The wizard has enough time to cast one of her spells, and unlike that Halfling from the other day, she's actually competent enough to understand spells of the fourth order. Of course, of all the spells she had to use, she used -that- particular spell; one that is -hilarious- when it's used on people who aren't you. As you are today, having a mass of writhing black tentacles springing up around you is downright compromising, it is. >[Roll 1d20 for a Reflex Save]
>>27732844Well THAT's not a very polite way to start off a tryst.
>>27732844Surely there must be a spell more effective than......unless. Oho! Could it be that this fine lady could be a fellow degenerate?Don't worry, you poor little thing. We're more than willing to share a couple tips. Glaive ones.
>>27732876This should suffice. I hope.
>>27732844Man, with that opener on her part I kind of want to keep her instead of killing her. I bet a trained mage of her power could be sold for a shitload on the black market.Why is the world so full of people worth collecting and corrupting?
>>27732953Think we could just fail this on purpose?
Rolled 4>>27732844We must regain our weapon, see if the girl is hot and take her to the paladin and how her how we break a person
Rolled 2>>27733035Or just turn her into a cockslave
>>27732844Capturing this girl could be fun, we could use her spells to break her and BlueMaybe even stabilize the gnome so we have a hand puppet as well
>>27733041>>27733054Not with rolls like those.
>>27733083I...think she's a goner.But this:>>27733041I s a fairly reasonable concept. Anything we do to the wizard in front of the Paladin is just another innocent she can't protect. Until we give her ways to stop us that slowly lead her down the path of damnation instead.
[Highest of First Three: 17][Reflex Save Roll: 17+12=29][Reflex Save DC: 10+4+8=22][SUCCESS!]"That wasn't very funny," you spit at the sorcerous whore. "It's only funny when it happens to people who aren't me."She starts at you, wondering just how you managed to go from the middle of a slick and writhing mass of tentacles to right beside her. You have half a mind to just kill her where she stands, for putting you through that. It -amuses- you when other people get caught up in a pit of rubber that latches on to them obscenely, pressing them into compromising positions, before crushing the life out of them or ripping them apart. Especially when they're innocent maidens with plenty of -confidence- who can't help but get flustered over such uncouth treatment.The irony of your thought process is completely lost on you. Mostly because you don't consider yourself an innocent maiden."I... how..." the woman - a half elf, now that you've got a good look at her, raises her staff, as if to abjure you. The fact that she isn't noping the hell out of here means that she isn't half as clever as she could be - you -know- that there's a fourth order spell that let's you teleport around. You know that if you were a wizard, you wouldn't go a single day without preparing that trick. Hell, back when you were facing -serious- threats, you used to never go out of town without a scroll or three with it."Well you see I'm very fast," you say. "And I'm not much of a clingy person. Don't really like it when a bunch of Tentacles appear out of no where and think they can violate my personal space either. Because I'm the one who's suppose to be doing the violating around these parts.""Strei-" The staff glows with power, cueing you to slam you weapon into the bitch, disrupting her concentration and breaking her spell.>Field too long.
>>27733369"No," you say. "No more magic. No more spells. We're done here." [Roll 1d20]>Take her head off. And the other's too, to make a puppet show for Ms. Blue!>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.>Just kill her and be done with it. You've got business to take care of.>[WRITE IN]
Rolled 2>>27733369>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.but make sure she lives.
>>27733388>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.You know you want to
Rolled 7>>27733388>>[WRITE IN]FIST HERWhen shes out of it, bring her back to Ms. Blue
Rolled 14>>27733388>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.
>>27733388>let the dm write smutty tentacle porn scene
Rolled 3>>27733388>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.She made the bed already, might as well use it!
Rolled 17>>27733425I throw my dice in for this as well
>>27733388>Take her head off. And the other's too, to make a puppet show for Ms. Blue!
Rolled 2>>27733388>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.Having her live would be nice, we can keep on doing stuff with her then, and we ought to be able to take the proper precautions to keep her from casting and escaping. Also, we should take her spell book, those things sell remarkably well.While she's getting grappled and we don't have anything better to do than watch we should probably see what it's like to have sweater puppies. Try groping ourself, because let's be honest, that's the first thing a lot of people would do if they suddenly changed genders.
>>27733388>>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.
Rolled 14>>27733388Throw her to the tentacles after tearing her robes off if she survives it then we can take her to the dungeon to break alongside BlueThen see if the gnome is still alive, if she is try to stabilize her, if not then get working on making her and the knights bodies into proper offerings to papa vlad
>>27733388Two pets are better than 1. Throw her to the tentacles if she's likely to survive, but otherwise KO and add her to our collection of people to break to our will.
>>27733388Grapple her, and see if we got those soul draining powers after all...Come on, guys. Succubi gonna succ.
Rolled 8>>27733388>>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.I hope the roll is too decide how much pleasure she will enjoy, yes?
>>27733388>>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.Naturally.Petard hoists are a tried and true dramatic device.>>27733518I agree that we should probably investigate how to turn on the soul vacuum sooner rather than later, but there's next to no risk of the tentacle field actually killing her, and she'll be easier to manage after they've softened her up a bit.
>>27733518second thisGotta get a hand on these powers of ours and taking a soul ought to get us somewhere with that.
>>27733425Could we absorb the spell into our sword for later after we've got our jollies?
>>27732348Does that mean we're going to fuck the fear turkey?
>>27733833Yeswe are going to fuck the fear turkey
>>27733833Not until she begs for it.
Rolled 12>>27733894Princess Zelda begging, I almost feel bad
>>27733892>Posting direct R63 of Alucard instead of the actual GirlycardWhy?
Rolled 18>>27733388>Grapple her, and throw her to the tentacles, see how she likes it.
[Best of First Three: 13][CMB Check: 13+21=34][CMD: 10+3+2=15][SUCCESS!]"Well, actually I lied," you say, dropping your spear and cracking your knuckles. "There's going to be some magic after all! Just not any new ones - you've already casted all the spells you'll cast today. And for the rest of your short and painful life, I imagine~"The half elf tries to struggle, but from her strength she'd have a difficult time breaking her way out of a crumbling sack of burlap, let alone the vice grip you have her locked in. Woozy and bleeding as she may be, you force her onto her legs, and drag her over to the ball of slime and rubber straps that she had conjured just for you~. He struggles intensify as you get closer, but the odds are all but non existant that her efforts to break free succeed. "No... please don't do this," she begs as one of the tentacles reaches out, carressing her face. "I'll, I'll do anything, please! Just... just... I can't... they'll rip me apart before I can..."You turn her around, a fake and cocky smile spliting your face like an open wound, looking into her eyes as tears stream down. She forces a smile at you, at once horrifies at whatever favor you might ask of her, and relieved that you aren't going to throw her into the bed she made. You hold her up even as she tries to drop to her knees, as if she thought you were looking for something like -that-. "Have fun," you whisper.You push her into the pit. The tentacles wrap around her even as she tries to keep a smile, as if she thinks this is some big joke, that you're just a sadist who gets off on her fear. But while you won't deny the latter, this is no joke. The writhing black things wrap around her arms, catch her legs to spread them apart, and even bind her breasts through the thick cloth of her Mage's Guild Robe.>Field too long.
>>27734022And then they pull, and don't stop.The screams it gives - it, for that tortured thing can no longer be called a person - are a soft and pleasing symphony. You almost wish the Knight and the Gnome were still alive, that they're voices might add trombone and flute to the wizard's saxophone. But what is done is done, and you are left to enjoy the chorus of a wizard drawn and quarted by her own spell, too wracked by pain to dismiss it.You...>Look for a cage to put that Hawk in. You know what Ms. Blue will be dining on tonight.>Take inventory of the changes that the Demon made to your body.>Make a proper sacrifice to Tepes out of the Knight and the Gnome.>[WRITE IN]
>>27734037Check over our body, see what happened to usThen pick up the bird and start planning how to cook it up for ms Blue
>>27734037>Take inventory of the changes that the Demon made to your body
Rolled 7>>27734037I thought, we were going to save her for later tortured?What happened to that?
>>27734037>>Look for a cage to put that Hawk in. You know what Ms. Blue will be dining on tonight.Might be a druid instead of just a familiar, so better to make double-sure it's dead and not going to werebear out on us while we're distracted.Shame we didn't take the wizard alive though.
>>27733926I had no girlycard
>>27734037Wait, that kills her? Hmm. I was hoping more for tentacle rape.>[write in]Fish her out.Theres more fun to be had with her.
>>27734037>Make a proper sacrifice to Tepes out of the Knight and the Gnome.Another scarecrow?
Rolled 19>>27734037>[WRITE IN]rescue the girl for our own nefarious purposes
Rolled 17>>27734037what? stab the spell to dismiss it her and blue will be bff then one will kill the other
>>27734091She's dead, anon.>>27734037>Make a proper sacrifice to Tepes out of the Knight and the Gnome.Scarecrows!
Rolled 14>>27734110>>27734113Psst. She's dead. That's kind of a side effect of being drawn & quartered.
>>27734037>[WRITE IN]Save the broad. This might start being some stockholm symdrome on her too."Now lets not try that again, shall we?"
>>27734037>Take inventory of the changes that the Demon made to your body.But we can do that while impaling corpses.
>>27734037This was not what we asked for. Almost all the tentacle votes specified that she should be kept alive....oh well, I guess. There will be others.
Rolled 1>>27734037Fish her out
>>277340751d6+4 Damage Per Round and 7 Hit Points left happened to that.She had 40 hp (twice the Hawk's 20), and got hit by an AoO when her spell got interrupted for 33. Since I do average round up to simplify things, she took 8 damage per round after you pushed her in.
>>27734037She's still screaming? Then she's alive! End the spell before it finishes the job, stabilize her, get her healed up, and take her to the dungeon.
>>27734180Dammit. I'll have like to know that doing so would have killed her.We can pull her out and stabilise her right? -1 should be savable.
>>27734152>>27734168What part of "she was ripped to pieces immediately" are you guys not getting? Granted, it might have been better if OP had specified that pushing her into the spell would've resulted less in tentacle rape and more in bloody evisceration, but who gives a shit? We still have Blue.
>>27733566>there's next to no risk of the tentacle field actually killing herWHOOPS.>>27734180>got hit by an AoOAh, that'd do it.>>27734037>Look for a cage to put that Hawk in. You know what Ms. Blue will be dining on tonight.First things first; our tits aren't going anywhere, but we don't want the hawk flapping itself to death while pinned to the ground.Then>Take inventory of the changes that the Demon made to your body.
>>27734091>>27734110>>27734113Let's not. With the paladin, it was justified because corrupting something so entirely pure is hilarious, but this is just a random wizard chick. Sure, 4th circle spells, but otherwise unimpressive and no different from the next random whore.Just leave her to die and make some scarecrows.
>>27734037She's dead? A pity, but we'll run into more female Adventurers with lots of -confidence->Take inventory of the changes that the Demon made to your body.
Rescue her, stabalize her, get her healed up a bit, then cut out her eyes, tongue, eardrums, hands and feet before dropping her off naked at a whorehouse
>>27734240>done, and you are left to enjoy the chorus of a wizard drawn and quarted by her own spell, too wracked by pain to dismiss it.She's being torn apart, but she's still alive enough to suffer. We can still fish her out and stabilize her.
Rolled 7>>27734180Would've like to know about this earlier
>>27734273but I want a spell monkey
>>27734180There's still time before she hits -10. We can still get her out.
>>27734273Why not use her as a musical instrument?
>>27734280Waste of a perfectly good plaything.
>>27734300She's already doing a wonderful job of that. I feel making it a permanent thing would ruin the beauty of it. Twice as bright, half as long, you know. Except with screaming.
>>27734302>>27734282>>27734280This is silly. It's just some random adventurer.Why make all the extra effort when there are more important things to worry about.
>>27734379why else are we playing this quest? because it entertains us
>>27734379In the end, everyone is just a random adventurer, a random victim, a random contact. If you put time and energy into making them special, almost anyone can be made to produce something rewarding.
>>27734037>Take inventory of the changes that the Demon made to your body.Play with the boobs. common, you know you want to
>>27734379But I want a musical instrument.
>>27734379Because she's a competent wizard, and a personal enchanter can be really useful. Besides, I hate wasting things which could be better enjoyed with time and slow breaking.
>>27734180Huh, I thought these were just the ones that *GRAPPLED* things -- not ones that dealt damage per round.Because, yeah. I was actually expecting fun of an entirely *different* sort than this -- I didn't want her to die so quickly and cleanly.
>>27734037>Fish her out
>>27734302Nah, too much effort. Let us simply enjoy her sweet sweet cries of torturous pain.
>>27734504The post ended and I was ready for fap material.Then the next post happened.
>>27734519No pain no gain
>>27734391>>27734411>>27734476>>27734431Too much effort. It just ruins the moment to backpedal now.
>>27734513Fish her our then keep breaking her in front of BlueTell her that if she can keep her alive for a week then we will let her go then on the last day just fucking obliterate her in front of Blue, I'm talking chunky salsa effect all over her as she tries in vain to heal the girl
>>27734519You're probably too lazy for some fun.
Rolled 7>>27734539not really, he had a different idea to kill/torture her, he may be a litttle annoyed and we must use her for how easy her party members died and won't satisfy his god
>>27734571it never hurts to have spares
Really people, stop being greedy. We can't just go around collecting every random woman that tries to kill us, we'd have too many to count within a week. Let's just focus on Blue for now, then we can pick up more later.
>>27734571>Really people, stop being jealous. We can't just go around collecting every random woman that tries to kill us, we'd have too many to count within a week. Let's just focus on Blue for now, then we can pick up more later.I don't see what jealousy has to do with it? Its more a matter of misunderstanding what was going on.Hell, if you really don't want her to survive this ordeal? You can still just choose to energy-drain her to death, stealing her soul. Its what we wanted to begin with -- soul-stealing ability.And starting off with a cute half-elf would be cool.>>27734603>Really people, stop being greedy.Well, why NOT be greedy? What's wrong with being greedy? Greed is a sin after all.Plus, we don't have to capture her for good; we could just kiss and energy-drain her to death.
>>27734603But aren't we Evil? Greed's right up our alley
so...wait. did we get turned into a succubus or not? i'm confused. also we totally wrecked that party. I think we should start focusing more on magical power, since that is the real path to power if we are playing a 3.x system.
>>27734670It's pathfinder dumbass
>>27734631>>27734634They really need to remove the minute-long timer on deleting your post. I saw the typo the moment I hit the button, but it made me wait forever to correct it. Apologies.
>>27734551That's not a bad idea actually, hell I'll second that!
>>27734670Yes, we're a succubus, no, we're not going to suddenly become a wizard. We're level 10, I'm pretty sure that's the level cap, and even if it wasn't switching over to wizard would be incredibly silly and sub-optimal. Besides, we currently have greater teleport and a laundry list of other useful things at will, as well as dominate person 1/day. We're doing pretty okay.
>>27734683which is 3.x, which still means that magic is the true path to power. we could have so much fun with Dominate ____ it's not even funny.although the melee focus is a bit better for the storytelling though, and crossclassing spellcaster/melee is even more terrible than normal melee.>>27734716well fuck me sideways, we apparently already got all of the cool spells anyways. Lets roll with this. We need to set up a dedicated torture dungeon.(also I have no idea how to play a melee character, we always had them as NPC followers in my games...they usually died a lot.)
A thought occurs to you that it might have been amusing to keep the spell slinger alive, and take her home to torture in front of Ms. Blue. Well, it's too late now, and even if you did want another pet, it would lead to a whole headache of negotiations with Lady Carrowmere to borrow her dungeons. But where Ms. Blue is a rare commodity - most female paladins dont have that type of figure! - there are plenty of busty half elven wizardess in the world just waiting to be kindnapped. They spend most of their time in their libraries, after all, and even the most fit of them are never quite as lean as the usual warrior.But what's done is done. Perhaps, if you really want this one, you can take her head and get a shady priest to raise her. Sure, it's hard to find anyone with knowledge of fifth order spells, but you know one or two. Hell, one of them owes you a favor, for killing her husband so she could fuck that bard's brains out."Welp, let's see here, what can I do with you two..." You say, looking down at the corpses of the Knight and the Gnome. "Hah, I really don't have the time to make a proper sacrifice out of the two of you - business to attend to, ya here. So don't be rising as any positive energy spirits at high noon three days hence, understand?"Well, they're dead, so they can't actually hear you. You shrug, bringing the blade of your glaive down onto their necks, and taking their heads. It's a simple enough process to store them away right and proper in your haversack, and you do the same with the Wizardess' head when she's finally done with her dying thing.A bit too much alacrity on that, unfortunately. Barely had twelves seconds before she got ripped to bits, and her magic stopped supporting the spell. Somewhere along the line, her head got popped off by the tentacles - that's probably what killed her - so you don't even have to cut it off yourself.Convenient!>Field too long
>>27734789You manage to find a cage among the crates and barrels. Probably meant for a more conventional familiar type, for a kid fresh off to Wizard School with an animal she hasn't properly bonded yet. You ease the wounded hawk into it, but vaguely remember that putting it in your haversack will only get it killed, so you leave it out until you're ready to leave.As for you new... assets, you suppose, how thoroughly do you examine them?>Just a quick look, to see how big a set of bindings you'll need to be able to fit into your armor.>A bit more thoroughly - take off your tunic and give yourself a once over in a mirror, see if you're hot, at least.>Quite thoroughly, why not put them to the test. Lady Carrowmere did say that women have some advantages over men, in certain things - a theory that intrigues you now that it's relevant.>[WRITE IN]
>>27734808>A bit more thoroughly - take off your tunic and give yourself a once over in a mirror, see if you're hot, at least.
>>27734808>>A bit more thoroughly - take off your tunic and give yourself a once over in a mirror, see if you're hot, at least.
>>27734808>Quite thoroughly, why not put them to the test. Lady Carrowmere did say that women have some advantages over men, in certain things - a theory that intrigues you now that it's relevant.It's not every day that you grow a pair of tits. They're right there and everything, how could we not grope them? It'd be walking into an orphanage and not making at least one child cry.
>>27734808>>A bit more thoroughly - take off your tunic and give yourself a once over in a mirror, see if you're hot, at least.Poke ourselves here and there.
>>27734808>AS LEWD AS POSSIBLE, then shapechange back into our old form because we used to it.
Rolled 15>>27734808>A bit more thoroughly - take off your tunic and give yourself a once over in a mirror, see if you're hot, at least.>Quite thoroughly, why not put them to the test. Lady Carrowmere did say that women have some advantages over men, in certain things - a theory that intrigues you now that it's relevant.Can we gain our hyper weapon though, gender bending is fun, but I hope it's not determinant
>>27734808>A bit more thoroughly - take off your tunic and give yourself a once over in a mirror, see if you're hot, at least.No time for extended masturbation, but we can afford a minute or two to check things out.
>>27734808>>Just a quick look, to see how big a set of bindings you'll need to be able to fit into your armor.We're still in the middle of a place in which an evil ritual took place.We've had one adventuring party show up already -- let's not lower our guard in case anybody else shows up.(I mean, its one thing if we decide to stick around to ambush anybody else coming -- its another thing if we get so distracted and pre-occupied that somebody gets the drop on US.)Plus, uh... Don't we have other business or something...? I forget -- whats the timing on our business-related stuff like?>>27734711Ah I see. Well, I replied to both versions anyway. Nothing wrong with greed after all.
>>27734845How about we find an orphanage and put them to the test for real?
>>27734861I don't think we know how to shapechange quite yet. Might want to take a moment to figure that part out, actually.
>>27734862what is "our hyper weapon"?>>27734875I change my vote from ">as lewed as possible" to this.>>27734884o.o>>27734898agreed. Game question: do we know how our powers work?
>>27734808Quite thoroughly, but see if we can influence things, maybe if we need to then we can bind our breasts or something to fit under our armour
>>27734808>Just a quick look, to see how big a set of bindings you'll need to be able to fit into your armor.Let's bug out, get back to somewhere that isn't the scene of a demonic ritual and filled with corpses, you know somewhere not suspicious, and then go to town on our new body and inspect every nook and cranny.
>>27734808>>A bit more thoroughly - take off your tunic and give yourself a once over in a mirror, see if you're hot, at least.Considering how confident we are, it'd be a shame if we weren't equally -confident-.Going to be interesting when we head back to the Carrowmere estate if we don't figure out how to shapechange by then.
>>27734910>what is "our hyper weapon"?Think about it. What won't we have anymore in this form?
Rolled 11>>27734910our penis
>>27734910In game, Quinn hasn't the foggiest idea what that Demon did to him. He knows that it turned him into a dame, he knows that he's a hair stronger and quite a bit quicker than he used to be, and he noticed that he's a lot tougher than he used to be.He knows jack shit about any of his abilities just yet, though.
>>27734925>Not getting your rocks off in a warehouse full of corpsesPleb
>>27734996>>27734999all of this "hyper weapon" and "confidence" is confusing me. Is there a reason we cant just say penis and breasts?>>27735005well this will be awkard. lets go back to the lady and explain the situation to her, she might be able to help us.
>>27735005But we do have knowledge: planes.
>>27735047knowing about the elemental plane of fire won't help us figure out that having breasts means we are now a succubus. hell, half of the things in the monster manual have breasts in some form.
>>27735072You identify outsiders using knowledge: planes.
>>27735047And once we have a chance to sit down, think about it, and so on we'll probably work it out. We do have a lot of knowledge in the planes and in religion so we almost certainly know what we need to know about demons to work it out and probably know a lot of what succubi can do. It's just that life has been rather hectic for our dear Quinn ever since he changed genders.
>>27735029>lets go back to the lady and explain the situation to her, she might be able to help us.I'm just going to go ahead and say right now that going back to Carrowmere without being in our original form again is a HORRIBLE idea. And didn't we have an errand to run for her today?
>>27735005>He knows jack shit about any of his abilities just yet, though.Presumably we know for sure that we should be capable of some kind of soul draining, since that's what we asked for in the first place.We also probably should've recognized in at least some capacity that we have permanent Detect Good active, since odds are at least one of the adventuring party we just dispatched was of that alignment.>>27735047And this doesn't hurt either.
I wonder if we could gain some talent or affinity for spellcasting now?We've gotten a huge boost to our Int and Cha... and even our Wisdom is pretty respectable right now.Plus, we have some innate supernatural abilities, which means we've got more magic to work with and test out.Also... There was the fact that the ritual the cultists were doing? It was a 9th level spell. That tells us that there's a certain amount of "fluff" involved in higher-level stuff.Plus, the very fact that we were able to complete the ritual-spell just using our knowledge of magic...It seems to hint that in this setting, theres a bit more to magic than just "get levels, cast spells."Becoming a demon might mean that we have more options open up to is, in terms of magic and rituals and crap.
>>27735110oh. maybe then.>>27735124huh? why? and what was the errand? we were going to sell our loot..did we do that? we have a lot more of it now. are we set on keeping the lance/glave?
>>27734808Quite thoroughly. In the middle of all them sexy bodies.
What are our current goals?I suggest:figure out why we have boobs.sell our loot.get some better gear/weapons.torture the captive some more.???
>>27734808>>Quite thoroughly, why not put them to the test.Blood makes it better.
>>27735225resurrect dead wizard for more entertainment?
>>27735225may I suggest rubbing her face in our "confidence"
>>27735242Do you really want to spend a diamond on that?
>>27735242Nah, it probably takes a lot of effort to get a resurrection. I'd rather we spend the favor/service on something more important and relevant, rather than just a wizardess we ran into and killed within 5 minutes.>>27735225>Ask Lady Carrowmere for instruction and "instruction."She can probably help bring us up to speed the best. As well as genuinely teach us some things now that we've got a new form. All the better to prepare us for tormenting Blue and everyone else.>>27735254I think I'd prefer shapeshifting shenanigans -- we can turn into her friends. Hell, we can turn into HER!
>>27735283We could have her raised as some amusing form of undead. That's usually less expensive.
>>27735110He'll definitely know he's become a succubus. Are you implying Quinn HASN'T fucked one before?>>27735283>implying we won't just fucking steal it
>>27735242there is an endless supply of torture dolls available for much cheaper than a resurrection spell.
>>27735283what quality would the diamond have to be?
>>27735124We're on good enough terms and know enough about each other to prove we are who we say we are. Our other contacts in the city will probably be more leery and it might make it more annoying to get work done without our rep, but we can hang out in Carrowmere until we work out our ability, we may owe her another favor but that's within our means.
>>27735358Very expensive quality.
>>277353585000 gp worth
WRITE FASTER please. please please please this is so good.
"You're an idiot, Quinn," you finally admit to yourself. "What were you thinking when you consented to that bloody demon's deal - that it wasn't going to screw you over? Think about it man, they follow the same God that you do - and like hell would you give someone straight forward assistance if they weren't a drinkin' buddy."You sigh as you take off your kikko. There's a great deal of relieved pressure as you snap open the restraints, which is at once a point of pride and at second a point of frustration. You know, at the very least that you've got quite a bit of -confidence- to be backed up by your regular confidence. Certainly enough -confidence- to shame Ms. Blue for her lack of -confidence-, which may well be something you try at one point.The sad thing is, if you're going to be walking around with that much -confidence-, then you're going to either need to bind your tits and go around looking like a useless flatty, or you're going to need to get your armor refitted. There's a mirror tucked where you found the cage, and you borrow it for a moment to step back and admire."Well hot diggity damn," you say, nodding at your image. "Quinn, you make one fine dame, ain't that the truth."The transformation certainly did a number on you - your hair is bleached with sunlight now, a gold and silky blond that went and tied itself up nicely into a braided bun, except for two locks hanging down the side of your eagle like face. But honestly, you're not looking above your neck all that much, because your tits seem to want to burst free of the confines of your tunic, and get some air.And frankly, you don't see why not."You know," you say, staring at your topless form, "If I were a bloody poet, I'm sure I'd have -words- to say about these knockers. Tepes putting children to the -pike-, I've got the sort of tits that kings would go to -war- over.">Field Too Long
>>27735536You contemplate that thought for a while. Perhaps sometime later, if you wind up stuck like this.Before you get yourself too involved in something that might lead to any reinforcements those Knight Errants might have had getting the drop on you, you throw your tunic back on, leaving the laces at the top undone for the sake of your ability to breath, and your armor, though you don't fully strap it up. There's still some work to be done, and you -will- need to find a way to prove to Tom and Amelia that you're you.[Roll 1d20 to find loot before you leave!]>Go to the Wintram office and see if the Old Man is still there.>Head to the Bazaar, and sell off some of these materials that are weighing you down.>Head to the Magic District, and find that apprentice who owes you -favors-.>[WRITE IN]
Rolled 15>>27735554>>Head to the Magic District, and find that apprentice who owes you -favors-.
>>27735554>Head to the Magic District, and find that apprentice who owes you -favors-.We can get a verification on our race while we're there, maybe some tips on shapeshifting.
Rolled 16>>27735554>Head to the Magic District, and find that apprentice who owes you -favors-.resurrection time
>>27735554>Head to the Magic District, and find that apprentice who owes you -favors-.Maybe he can get our form back?
Rolled 12>>27735554>Head to the Magic District, and find that apprentice who owes you -favors-.
Rolled 7>>27735554>Head to the Bazzar
Rolled 11>>27735554>>Head to the Magic District, and find that apprentice who owes you -favors-.As much as I like Saber Extra I'd like to get our original form back
Rolled 3>>27735554>Head to the Magic District, and find that apprentice who owes you -favors-.Easiest way to find out what the hell that demon did.
>>27735596Nigga we a succubusyou can't undo that shit
>>27735554>Head to the Bazaar, and sell off some of these materials that are weighing you down.We can haggle like a motherfucker with this newfound -confidence-. >>27735589That's a total waste of money. It's a magic district, I'm sure we could find a cute elf wizard there, she'd might even stutter a bit and wear glasses, and just kidnap and torture her, no need to bother with an expensive resurrection.
Rolled 16>>27735615Shape Change functions as an at will polymorph spell.
>>27735615He might have meant just figuring out what we turned into, and figuring out how to shapeshift.
Rolled 19>>27735615I'm perfectly fine with just shape shifting back to our old form. Not everyone wants to be the girl, little or not.
>>27735618If it's a favor, I doubt it'll actually cost us
Rolled 19>>27735615shapechange bitch.>>27735536sell our shit.
>>27735615We have change shape. We can become a fucking albino dwarf if we want to, turning into our old male form is dead easy. Though this form does have advantages, we can start wars with our tits.
>>27735554>Head to the Bazaar, and sell off some of these materials that are weighing you down.We gotta get rid of some shit yo. Extra cash is also very nice to have as soon as possible.
>>27735618Breasts. Just say "breasts">>27735650close enough.
>>27735589>>27735642Ok, yeah, this is getting to be a waste of time, since obviously some people here are NOT going to shut up about the damn wizard girl until we've incinerated her remains and shoved her soul into a shoggoth.I hate to lose a trophy, but can we junk the wizard head at the earliest opportunity?
>>27735554>>Head to the Bazaar, and sell off some of these materials that are weighing you down.And how much does a severed head go for these days anyway?
>>27735642Don't go burning through our favors like that. Favors are worth more than gold and can be far harder to get.Wasting them on this stupid elf bitch is silly. She's not important, we could find an even better elf wizard if we shopped around a bit.
>>27735738agreed. some bitch cant let the fucking wizard go.
Rolled 7>>27735738This. No need to waste money on a generic npc.
Suddenly something strikes you. Something that you really ought not to have forgotten."I almost forgot the best part about murder!" You say. "Taking their stuff."The Knight's armor has got to be worth a pretty penny, even if it did prove ultimately useless. It's not like most soldiers who'll but it will run into -you- after all, which is the main reason why the sap died, not any deficiency in his equipment. His sword is nice too, not quite as enchanted as your Glaive, but it's a -jovar- set to burst with ice. And if that scabbard on his back is what you think it is, a keener blade of that size would be hard to come by. For some reason - Tepes knows he couldn't actually -use- them - he had a pair of Duelling Gloves, not dissimilar to your own.The Elf of course is the big jackpot - somewhere nestled between her corpse's cleavage is an enchanted necklace, engraved with a rune of protection that you vaguely recognize. Also on her torso is a pair of spellbooks with enough spells and personal notes to be worth twice what that halfling's was. And, of course, when you gather her arms, you notice a pair of rings - one with a shielding glyph, and one with a protection rune.The Gnome doesn't have much of anything, unfortunately - just her magicked shortswords, and the armor that you wound up tearing up. You're probably missing something - she was a sneaky little cunt, after all - but you haven't the patience to take that much time searching her.Everything in your haversack, you take off to the Mage's Quarter. Mayhaps you'll find a stuttering little thing just perfect to torture infront of Ms. Blue, but really - business before pleasure. You've got a spell on you to diagnose, and three spellbooks now to put on to the market. And three places where you think Mr. Finnegan might be holed up at this time of day.>The Wand and Broom, getting himself a drink.>The Guild Library, doing research on one spell or another.>His apartments, getting blown by a five copper whore.
Rolled 15>>27735826>>His apartments, getting blown by a five copper whore.
>>27735826>>The Guild Library, doing research on one spell or another.
Rolled 19>>27735826>His apartments, getting blown by a five copper whore.
>>27735826>The Wand and Broom, getting himself a drink.Dude's named Finnegan, of course he's out drinking.
>>27735826>>The Guild Library, doing research on one spell or another.Well, that'll probably be the most useful place for him to be.
>>27735826>>His apartments, getting blown by a five copper whore.
>>27735826>The Guild Library, doing research on one spell or another.It's worth going here anyways.
>>27735826>>The Wand and Broom, getting himself a drink.
>>27735826>His apartments, getting blown by a five copper whore.And if he tries anything, he's getting punched upside the head.
You head to Finnegan's apartment. Given his work ethic, and the fact that he ought to be doing that whole student-of-magic thing that he likes to play at, the boy is no doubt lazying about on his bed with a five copper whore gently suckling his cock. That it also happens to be the closest to the Wintram Warehouse of the three possible destinations also factors in to your decision. May as well start with the first thing first."Swanky as I remember it," you say to the stable hand, who is torn between staring at your chest with poorly disguised lust and staring at your cargo with poorly disguised confusion. You hand him the reigns and a platinum. "If anything's missing when I get back - and I will know - I will have you and your family hunted down and hung up by your entrails."The stable hand nods, giving you a look. In all probability, you're the fifth or sixth person to say that to him today, and the twelfth or thirteenth who subtley implied it. Oblastgrad is just that type of town - the powerful prey and the weak, and the weak either meekly obey or get power on their own.Tepes you forgot how much you love this city.As you progress up the stairway and down the hall, to apartment number two hundred and thirty seven, the rather raucous noises proves that your guess was not quite accurate. Clearly, Finnegan isn't being blown by a two copper whore, but is engaged in a rather vigorous round of the horizontal tango. You pinch the bridge of your nose at how fake the woman's voice sounds, and prepare to barge in.Now, there are several ways you could do this.>The way where you're boring, practical, and violent.>The way where you wait for them to finish before stepping in.>The way where you kick things into maximum overtroll, and have a bit of -fun- with it.>[WRITE IN]
Rolled 17>>27736175>>The way where you kick things into maximum overtroll, and have a bit of -fun- with it.Attempt to grow a dick
>>27736175>The way where you kick things into maximum overtroll, and have a bit of -fun- with it.How is that even a question
>>27736175kick the door in. lets not waste time dealing with skank and scumbag, get this over with
>>27736175>The way where you kick things into maximum overtroll, and have a bit of -fun- with it.Definitely overtroll.
>>27736175Go in and act like his lover and kick the whore out.
>>27736175>The way where you're boring, practical, and violent.But less boring and more barging in and just start angrily talking and mocking him without missing a beat.
>>27736175>The way where you kick things into maximum overtroll, and have a bit of -fun- with it.
>>27736175>>The way where you wait for them to finish before stepping in.
>>27736212The first is Kool-Aid man, and is fairly straightforward.The second is snarking the fuck at them in your head.The third is to abandon all pretense of shame and fuck with them (not in the fornication sense, but in the trolling sense).
>>27736175>>The way where you kick things into maximum overtroll, and have a bit of -fun- with it.Duh.
Rolled 15>>27736175>The way where you kick things into maximum overtroll, and have a bit of -fun- with it.Pierce her with our hyperweapon!>Damn it, the other hyperweapon!
>>27736175>The way where you're boring, practical, and violent.No time to wait, there's people to kill! Innocences to defile! Profits to be made! Also we should probably get this over with and get back to our cart before we have to hunt down thieves all over the city.
>>27736244Heh, make sure to ask him about supporting his *child*. The filthy skinflint hasn't paid us the child support he owes... Or whatever makes sense in setting.
>>27736175>Have a bit of -fun- with it.All work and no play makes Quinn a dull... boy?>>27736231This is a pretty reasonable way of going about things, especially if we do so brandishing some sort of weapon.Confuses the shit out of Finnegan and scares twice that amount of shit out of his lady friend.
>>27736244Oh, well, in that case, combine one and two.Kool-Aid man shifting perfectly into overtroll.
>>27736175>The way where you kick things into maximum overtroll, and have a bit of -fun- with it.Because if we don't use this form to fuck with people than Tepes might be ashamed of us. And we don't want to make Papa sad. Go in, weapon drawn, like a woman furiously scorned. Once the whore books it we can collapse laughing.
>>27736231>>27736305>Go in and act like his lover and kick the whore out.>This is a pretty reasonable way of going about things, especially if we do so brandishing some sort of weapon.>Confuses the shit out of Finnegan and scares twice that amount of shit out of his lady friend.Yeah, sounds fun.
It takes you a second.You have to mess with your throat a little bit, to get the voice right. It's actually something you've got some practice in these days, as you pulled this sort of thing with Tom once or twice. Back when Amelia thought it would be funny to switch out your Belt of Giant Strength for a Girdle of Femininity. You still haven't gotten her back for that, but it -was- pretty funny, so can forgive her.You kick in the door, brandishing you glaive."FINNEGAN FIONN FLANAGAN!" You shout, trying to match the subtleties of his Emerald Island Accent. "I SWEAR ON ME MOTHER'S GRAVE, IF'N YE TOOK ANOTHER ONE OF THEM THREE COPPER WHORES TO OUR BED, I'M GONNA GUT THE SLUT, AND -CASTRATE- YOU!"You hear a muffled 'what' coming from the bedroom - which is odd. The man's too concerned with his choice of company bringing in fleas to take them into his bed. You've walked in on him before, he tends to just bend them over his kitchen table, if he thinks their clean enough to make proper use of. Regardless, you muster all the violent indignance of a scorned Emeraldian Housewife, and march over to the man's bedroom. Your boots are unfortunately tuned more towards silence than stampeding, so even your strongest stomp only comes off as a muffled thud, and from the sound of it, the two keep going at it without a care.So you kick open this door, and brandish your glaive.You're actually somewhat surprised at what you see - surprised enough to not immediate get on the man's case. Sure, he's every bit as balls deep in the whore's cunt as you would expect from the noise she was making, but this is not his usual fare. He must have really come into a windfall to afford a girl so young, with a pair of tits perky and firm as over-ripe melons. You'd estimate that she'd go for eight or nine gold, maybe even a platinum, per hour - and that's at a whorehouse.>Field too long.
>>27736329Did he die?
>>27736729To rent her for the day must have cost Finnegan a small fortune. Probably a virgin too - if he was going to splurge, then knowing his habbits he'd go all the way."Och, what the hell is -THIS- mess," you spit at him. "Here I am, the mother of yer children, working me ass off day in and day out on tha ramparts to afford to feed our little flock. How much did this one cost you, ya daft bastard? Ten, twenty platinum?""Uh..." the girl says between bounces. "Who the hell are you?""Who the hell am I?" you scream. "You little tart, I'm the wife o' tha farmer what's been plowin' your fields for god knows how many hours!""What?" she spits. "Finnegan and I hav-""Oh god it's you." Finnegan states. "Uh, ah, honey... could you not... uh, bounce so vigorously? I um... need to... ah... deal with this... ohhhhh. Okay. Okay. You can stop now, I'm finished.""But I'm not," the girl complains."Yeah, well, that's Quinn Taylor," Finnegan says, "And I'm fairly sure that if you don't stop, he's just going to cut your head off. Man does -not-... uh... like to be held waiting.""Honey, that's a woman," she says."Yup!" you declare. "And mine are bigger.""I-I'm sure they are," Finnegan says. The girl stops her bouncing, and looks at him indignantly. "No, honey, just, uh... get a robe on and go make some tea. I'll make the scary lady go away...""She doesn't scare me!" the idiot whore declares."She should.""I should.""Well who the hell is she, then?" she says, getting off Finnegans cock and giving you an eyeful. "She can't be your wife - that's my job.">You married a whore? I thought you had pretenses of class, Finnegan.>Finnegan, how could you!?>Well, if you don't let me talk to your husband, that position will be vacant soon.>[WRITE IN]
>>27736734No, just a really long post.
>>27736741>Well, if you don't let me talk to your husband, that position will be vacant soon.Imply that we are in possession of a bag of headsAnd that there is room for a lot more in said bag.
>>27736741>>Well, if you don't let me talk to your husband, that position will be vacant soon.
Rolled 3>>27736741You married a whore? I thought you had pretenses of class, Finnegan.
>>27736741"I can't believe you got me at my own game!"That's probably the one situation where we get trolled more then he...
Rolled 19>>27736741>>Well, if you don't let me talk to your husband, that position will be vacant soon.
>>27736741"Wait! You got married Finnegan? I have to say I didn't expect that. Damn. Well played.And you sweet tits, he obviously didn't marry you for your brains if you're not scared of the obviously crazy person who just kicked your door in and is waving around a very sharp glaive. I take my tea with two sugars, get to it."
>>27736741You're no fun Finnegan, i had an all plan to have some fun, though it wouldn't be unpleasent for your wife since i assumed she was one of those two penny whores. So i forgive you for destrupting my fun plan.Anyways, as you can see i need a professional opinion on some matters."
Well, since things are dying down and I myself am getting a bit tired, I'm going to call it a night. Next thread will be... let's make it this Thursday, though after that I'm gonna try to move it to a Sunday schedule.Archive is here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/27727696/
>>27736741>>You married a whore? I thought you had pretenses of class, Finnegan.
Rolled 11>>27736741>Well, if you don't let me talk to your husband, that position will be vacant soon.
>>27736808Why do I feel this is so unlikely?
>>27736808But things are not dying down...Well thanks for the run. Don't leave for so long again.
>>27736828They kind of areIt's that time. /tg/ as a whole has massively slowed down.
>>27736845There are still a dozen votes in a few minutes, i wouldn't call that dead. But it doesn't really matter.>>27736808Thanks for the thread.
>>27736808Just caught up to the end of this. Oh well. Thanks for the thread man, appreciate it. I really missed this quest.
>>27736741>>27736795I like this way of handling things.A little bit of griping at how his having settled down ruined our obviously brilliant plan, maybe congratulate him on his having upgraded from his usual fare, then into business.And file away for next time that we probably shouldn't keep wielding our incredibly valuable and conspicuous glaive next time we decide to fuck with people who know us. We've got a haversack full of assorted implements and whatnot that we could've easily grabbed instead.>>27736808G'night.
...Has anyone else looked at the loot that we've picked up? Because I have, and holy fuck.We have a little more than 210,000 gp worth of stuff on us; and that's not including Quinn's own gear.I think we can afford to build our own manse guys - or if not a manse, than at least a damned nice house. Preferably with a rape dungeon to keep Blue in like Carrowmere has.
>>27737324Well, it'll take a while to liquidate all of that and we won't get full value for it if we're fencing it. For example it's hard to find someone with 32,000 gold lying around who wants to buy a +4 equivalent magic weapon at full price. But we can get a fair bit of dosh.I would object to that idea due to it tying us down to one place and us needing to be free to travel, but we have Greater Teleport so we can get a nice place pretty much anywhere we want and teleport anywhere we want to go.
>>27737399I'd rather we have a dwelling on a seperate plane or something.Instantly accessible from anywhere.
>>27737399Oh god I can see the cycle now.>Go adventure.>Kill, maim, torture, rape, all in the name of Tepes.>Come home after a nice long day of slaughter.>Finish our day with a nice relaxing couple of rounds of "Break the Paladin".
Just read the entire thread. This is fucking amazing. My sides are dying I think I broke them.
>>27737414Well Greater Teleport doesn't allow planar travel so that just doesn't work unless we have some other method of getting there. But between Greater Teleport and Ethereal Jaunt we can get pretty much anywhere we want in the Material Plane.We can only teleport ourself and 50 pounds of stuff which means bringing Blue with us is more difficult though still possible. Living creatures can last in a bag of holding for 10 minutes, and she'd last even longer if we gave her a bottle of air, so if we need to we can just throw her in our bag, teleport, and then pull her out.Also, since we can cast Vampiric Touch at will we should probably have that loaded into our Glaive whenever possible. It adds 10d6 damage to our attack and gives us that much in temporary health which is exactly what we want on our first attack.