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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1381703803532.gif-(137 KB, 698x900, Villain quest.gif)
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Previous threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Washed%20up%20villain%20quest
Character sheet: http://pastebin.com/a8kFtx4Q

You are a busy man, a very busy man. You've recently decided to send the fellows known as the devilz home. However you have reached an impasse, as it appears many of your henchmen are terrified of these "devilz", especially as they seem to have completely lost their minds. maybe that has something to do with the demon you hit with a train, you wonder what happened to that fellow you'd like to have a discussion of proper manners with him at some point. However you are finding it rather hard to scheme the downfall of these ruffians, due to the screaming emanating from the backyard, where your zombie friend is currently feasting upon a rather unlucky man of the law, maybe you should have someone put him out of his misery.
You've also recently gave Mr. Fritz the rather important task of procuring you a vehicle. You look out of the window and think to yourself as you observe the forest in the distance, why is life so difficult. The day is still young, the city ripe for plundering, and the people still mostly unaware of your magical talent
what do you do
[] switch perspectives to someone else
[] Gather your henchmen, like someone as great as you needs a plan anyways
[] go somewhere
[] practice the mystical arts
[] commit some lesser form of villainy
[] other
>>
>>27726113
perhaps I should wait for a later hour to start
>>
>>27726113
no I'm here im just reading
>>
>>27726113
[X] Let us plot while we swith over to Mr. Fritz to see how exactly he is going to get us a car.

When Mr. Fritz comes back we should proclaim that we should expand! Not by taking out the Devils right away, but by finding us a new lair to house our growing organization!
>>
>>27726113
>practice the mystical arts, in the forest. (Seems like trouble, I like trouble.
>>
>>27726231
Marvelous
So, the forest, it probably has lots of cool things in it
>>
>>27726113
>practice mystical arts
.send a hench to check on the old lady at the card shop
>>
>>27726113
[ x ] practice the mystical arts
Learn the secrets of mystic villainverse.
>>
>>27726303
Bah, You can deal with the devilz later, however you think it would be a good idea to add to your mystical arsenal, Seeing as so far you only have necromancy and trainomancy down, even if the big wigs in those fancy magical collegues you know have to exist do not consider the latter an actual school of magic, you'd like to see them argue when a train is smashing down their tower while you laugh maniacally. You open your mind up to the secrets within and try to focus on a certain idea
what is this idea you try and grasp
[] fire, lighting, ice, the forces of nature within your grasp
[]a beast appearing from the fogs of the void and bowing before your might
[]a serene meadow surrounded by scorched barrens, life and renewal
[] a puppet dancing to a shadowy figures commands
[]other
>>
>>27726416
>[] a puppet dancing to a shadowy figures commands
>>
>>27726416

[] a puppet dancing to a shadowy figures commands
>>
>>27726416
>[X] a puppet dancing to a shadowy figures commands

Got to go with the classics.
>>
>>27726416
>a beast appearing from the fogs of the void and bowing before your might

I want a papa devil to take the devilz back home.
>>
>>27726416
learn how to make fluffy a monster!!!
>>
Rolled 62

>>27726416
>Other
Learn Kung-Fumancy
>>
Rolled 11

>>27726416
>[x] Other
The forces of life and death at your fingertips. An order of your mind, and the very same forces that call the dead back to life can send the living straight to the world of death.

Either that or >>27726504
>>
>>27726416
>[]other
Dark fumes dancing over a cauldron
Bubbles forming and bursting just as fast in a beaker filled with a mysterious substance
A young man lying down, eyes gazing into the void, in his hand there is a few mysterious pills.
>>
>>27726490
A puppet dancing to its puppeteers command, lesser men obeying you despite their own will, mindless shells made to your specifications, dolls given life to do your bidding, control, power. just like that fool who tried to end your life with mere bullets. Your fellow man is nothing more than a puppet, and you their puppeteer, They shall bow, for their minds are your playground, their souls and fates, not your problem
*Sub skill gained Puppeteering *name pending*, You can control the minds and bodies of others, and give life those that never had it* you open your eyes, yes you feel as if you'll be able to enter the minds of others without much difficulty now, especially as very few have as much willpower as you.
what do you do
[] test your new found power on one of your henchmen
[] test it on the poor bastard in the backyard, his screaming is disturbing your train of thought
[] test it on someone else
[] other
>>
Rolled 51

>>27726679
>[] test it on the poor bastard in the backyard, his screaming is disturbing your train of thought
Have him sing showtunes. That'll lighten the mood.
>>
>>27726677
Ooooh
Yes I think I'll make that one of the given options next time around
>>
>>27726679
>[] test it on the poor bastard in the backyard, his screaming is disturbing your train of thought
>>
>>27726679
>[] test it on someone else
Test it on the person in town that handles the most important of all informations...THE MAILMAN!
>>
>>27726679
>test it on the poor bastard in the backyard, his screaming is disturbing your train of thought

Have him dance, that will surely be fun.
>>
Rolled 56

>>27726679
>>27726698
>[x] Test it on the poor bastard in the backyard, his screaming is disturbing your train of thought
I think Puppeteering works as a name.

By the way, where are our first four skeletons?
>>
>>27726783
>By the way, where are our first four skeletons?
I think we should set them to always follow us around, snapping their fingers whenever we walk.
>>
>>27726783
Among the others, but they tend to stand out as they are more lively than the rest. also their eyes have a different shade of mysterious light emanating from them
>>
>>27726814
YES
>>
Rolled 99

>>27726814
>>27726843
Agreed.
>>
>>27726679
test on the poor bastard
>>
>>27726814
I agree.
>>
>>27726814
We may also have to rob a music store in order to get them some musical instruments for an impromptu villainous musical scene.
>>
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>>27726914
>>27726814
>>
also where did we store the undead horde because we could use them as the first wave against the devils
>>
Rolled 70

>>27726679
>[] test it on the poor bastard in the backyard, his screaming is disturbing your train of thought

Let's see if we can convince him that it's infact a pleasurable experience, instead of a painful one.
>>
>>27726971
Good sir, I like how you think.
>>
>>27726783
You decide to test this new power upon the poor bastard in the backyard, his screaming is really disturbing your train of thought. You get up, leaving your cup of tea and rather confused henchmen as you make your way through this hovel, stepping over various pieces of trash, how do they get it this dirty in a matter of two days, you wonder briefly as you open the door to the backyard, which really could use some revitalizing. The most noticeable feature is the man in the middle of it, with the sweet inoccent Matidla Smith with her hands in his guts, pulling loose the various fleshy delights within. She seems to have already completly devoured his right arm, and ate a portion of his face, he looks at you with pleading, tear filled eyes. You raise your right arm, and black smoke gathers around your hand, however it quickly shifts color to various hues and shades. The mans eyes soon change to follow whatever color the smoke around your hand is.
Dance, you command, and the broken man forces himself up, and takes his soon to be murderer into a swinging waltz. The surprise is clear on Miss Smith's face, seeing as she stops with a mouthful of his liver in her mouth.
Sing some show tunes, you command
He opens his mouth to begins a rousing performance. Sadly however, Miss Smith seems to realize what you have planned, and tears the man's throat out, sending him crumpling back down to the ground, the life fading from his eyes like a receding tide, while from his neck bubbles a stream of crimson.

"Oh you're no fun" you sigh as she resumes her meal . Well at least he's not going to scream anymore
What do you do
[] lecture Miss Smith
[] explore
[]take someone somewhere
[] Preform some minor form a villainy
[]other
>>
We may also have to order our henchmen to grow mustaches. We are bringing sexy back!

>>27726964
Good thinking. We can send in our henchmen to finish up the survivors.
>>
>>27726964
Probably somewhere around the graveyard
>>
>>27727085
>[x] Preform some minor form a villainy
Rob music store, force our skeleton and our henchmen to learn some instrument.
>>
>>27727085
>take someone somewhere
Take Miss Smith to the forest, bring the now-dead-man as a doggybag.
>>
Rolled 7

>>27727085
>>27727089
Good to see your writing style is improving. Keep going that way.

>[x] Other

Gather your head henchmen, we need to talk and plan. First subject of the day, all henchmen must grow mustaches. Second subject of the day, how are our drug dealing business going. Third subject, what's the town's current state in relation to gangs and stuff.

I can keep going, if you want me to.
>>
>>27727167
I like this. We should also check with Mr. Fritz what are the key area for drug dealing in the city which would need our unique brand of attention.

We are going to put the rival gangs to a train heading nowhere.
>>
>>27727167
Some of the henchmen have lesser forms a facial hair. You just started said businesses yesterday, however it seems to be doing surprisingly well, seeing as people around this house are trying to forget the noises and sights they have seen since you've made this area your home.
>>
Rolled 28

Design a stylish uniform for our henchmen.
>>
>>27727233
They are currently all wearing suits, less expensive than yours, and with out capes
though you can give them capes if you wish
>>
>>27727226
The only 3 acceptable form of facial hair are the mustache, the mustache with sideburns and the mustache with a goatee.
>>
Rolled 76

>>27727085
Meet the new recruits with Miss Smith and a retinua of skeleton and give them a motivational speech of how through service they shall gain wealth and if they are loyal and display sufficient talent, a life unending may wait them beyond grave, such as with with Miss Smith.
>>
>>27727085
[X] Look into finding a new lair.

This one was fine when we started but it is getting a bit cramped.
>>
Rolled 47

No, only those who display sufficient worth are allowed capes.
>>
Rolled 77

>>27727336
We can talk about that in a reunion with our henchmen.
>>
Rolled 67

>>27727336
Could we try and learn magic that allows us to create our Lair into our private dimension with portals all around the city in secret places?
>>
>>27727288
only mr.fritz should have a cape to show his standing as lieutenant
>>
>>27727167
You stare at the fallen preformer for a few moments, before a thought crosses your mind, our all your henchmen, Only Mr. Fritz has a true mustache, this must be fixed post haste.
You return to the depths of your lair and announce
"ALL OF YOU, GROW MUSTACHES". Your henchmen stare at you.
"Now, or you're getting the most esteemed position of zombie keeper" You say, causing the original batch of henchmen to run off in search of methods of growing facial hair as quickly as possible, However the new ones just stare at you, obviously amused by their eccentric leader. An idea crosses your mind
"Follow me" You order "I wish to show you what you may one day achieve". Their eyes are alight with greed, and you lead them to the backyard. Some recoil, and try to run, but luckily you kept of few skeleton stored in your lair in case of an intruder.

"This is Miss Smith" You say pointing at the young woman eating the arm of the now dead cop "She is"

"IS THAT A FUCKING ZOMBIE" One of them scream as they back up against the wall.

"Yes, but" You try to explain.

"SEE I TOLD YOU THEY WERE REAL" He shouts.

"Yes but Miss Smith is a special kind of zombie, observe" You say "Miss Smith, how does your friend their taste".

"Better than the last one, he almost has a sugary taste to him" She answers with a mouthful of arm meat.

"You see, I have the power to raise the dead" You say "In fact that is the fate of the late skeletons".

"Dayuuuuum" A dark skinned gentleman says, staring at Matilda as she begins to gouge out her meals eyes.

"Yes, if you serve me well you may too earn her reward, eternal life, and wealth" You say

"Wait you pay me?" She asks. Damn, now she's going to demand it.

"But are gonna have to eat people?" The same man asks.

"Perhaps, perhaps not" You say, "I'm still rather new to this whole necromancy thing, now go grow some mustaches, mustaches and sideburns or gotaees are also allowed. With that you allow the recruits to fell inside.
>>
>>27727594
What do you do
[] Take someone somewhere
[] explore alone
[] go into the basement, you'd like to see how this drug business works
[] other
>>
>>27727476
A cape or perhaps...A MONOCLE!

>>27727621
It might be a good opportunity to improve the "process"
>>
>>27727594
>go into the basement, you'd like to see how this drug business works

also, send someone to check on Miss Smith's granny. It would be nice to go to the forest later.
>>
Rolled 98

>>27727621
>[x] Other
Explore the cemitery, and take the four skeletons with you. Given our undead legion is there we could make up a safe base there, or at least take a look on how they are (mis)behaving.
>>
>>27727621
>[X] go into the basement, you'd like to see how this drug business works

Still say we should look into getting a new lair or at least expanding into a nearby building.
>>
>>27727684
You may do so at anytime
>>
>>27727701
Could be church for an old desecrated church in the woods?
>>
>>27727732
sure
>>
>>27727701
Is there a building right next to our building? If so I say we take it over and then connect the two.
>>
>>27727749
I say then that we look for such a building in these most unholy woods. Its thematic and the wood provides natural protection against lower lowlife.
>>
>>27727776
Several
you are in a normal neighbor hood
>>
>>27727650
You are curious about this whole drug business and decide to check it out, however you wish to know what Matilda's grandmother is doing

"You, henchmen 23" You call to one of the newer men, or at least you think he's new "Go to Old Lady Smith's card shop".

"Why, does the little old lady need some roughing up?" he asks trying to look intimidating.

"If you lay a hand on that.... creature" you say "I'll let Miss Smith decide your punishment, seeing as she seems quite fond of her grandmother, just say your buying cards for a birthday or something, but make sure she doesn't leave". He nods and quickly leaves, smelling slightly of urine.
You open the door to the basement, and find yourself greeted by several of those strange guns
"OH SHIT" one of the say noticing its you "SORRY BOSS, WE DIDN'T NOW YOU WAS VISITING".

"I'll forgive you this one time, and only this time" You say as you descend. The room is filled with various beakers, vials, and what look like stoves. almost reminds you of the alchemical lab of The corpse, one of your old colleagues.

What do you do
[] Enchant the drugs (you may choose the effect added to them) roll1d100
[] nod and pretend to listen as they try and explain what all this does, while your really ponder what kind of dog food to give fluffy
[] other
>>
>>27727785
Gentlemen, I agree with you.
>>
>>27727851
>Enchant the drugs (you may choose the effect added to them) roll1d100

EXTRA ADDICTING
>>
>>27727851
>[] Enchant the drugs (you may choose the effect added to them) roll1d100
Make the drug extra addicting and more potent.
>>
>>27727901
>>27727916
no rolls/
>>
Rolled 97

>>27727851
>[x]Enchant the drugs with "submission to Dick Vilain"
>>
Rolled 5

>>27727749
We take that over and form a cult for our personal veneration.
The advantage we have over other religions is that our followers can see what kind of afterlife awaits them if they join.

Joining the cult is not mandatory to be a henchman, however, eternal life awaits those who join.
>>
Rolled 9

>>27727950
Oops

>>27727916
>>
Rolled 78

>>27727950
>>27727901
Woops my bad
>>
>>27727954
aahhahahahahahaha
>>
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Rolled 89

>>27727954
GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
>>
>>27727954
Yet again I can't argue with that.

It's even better since we took the mind control magic upgrade.
>>
>>27727979
well you may have just taken over a good bit of the neighbor hood
>>
Rolled 20

>>27727969
I thought about going with something sillier, like "liquefation", "hallucination inducion", "explosion", "combustion", "turn into corgis", "turn into zombie", alongside a few others, but in the end I decide to go for something more serious.
>>
>>27728001
Well you can always make more
any ideas for the name of this new drug?
>>
Rolled 8

>>27728025
Alabama Liquid Snake
>>
Rolled 13

>>27728025
Smoking trains.
>>
Rolled 85

>>27728057
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crVXb4YGxn8
Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake.
>>
>>27728025
The magic train
>>
Rolled 34

>>27728025
Drug Dastardly? Devil's Dream Drug?
>>
>>27728060
Soul Train?
>>
>>27728025
"Not mind control pills"
>>
>>27728025
Smokestack.
>>
Rolled 5

>>27728126
Dream train.

or

Choo-Choo!
>>
Moustache ride?
>>
>>27727954
You get an idea, an evil idea, an idea worthy of one as villainous as you. You focus your new magic on the current batch of drugs
and the smoke emanating from your hands enters the product
causing it to shimmer through the various colors of the rainbow.
The henchmen look at you and the drugs, as if they expect it to explode in skeletons. Everything begins to shake for a few terrifying moments. and then it stops, it also seems to have somehow finished this batch, though you have no idea how, now the various vials, beakers, and stoves are filled and covered with iridescent crystals, that just bug to be taken, though you lack the knowledge of how

"Uhhm boss what did you just" one of them asks as he prods the new drug cautiously

"Just add some minor tweaks" You say as you leave "It'll give us some patsies if we ever need them, oh and advertise these as Dream train, I expect the effects to be slightly different from its former form"
what do you do
[] go somewhere with someone
[] where is Mr. Fritz (also I must ask, did you ask for a gun on your car in the last thread, because if so I respect you more now)
[] Play with Fluffy
[] other
*Drug gained: Dream train, it sends its users into a dream most pleasant, while making them your puppets for as long as it is in their systems*
>>
Rolled 7

>>27728289
>[] where is Mr. Fritz (also I must ask, did you ask for a gun on your car in the last thread, because if so I respect you more now)
I believe we did.
After that, try to find a new lair in the woods with Mr. Fritz and Miss Smith.
>>
>>27728289
>[] go somewhere with someone
go to forest with corgi and Fritz
>>
>>27728289
>[X] where is Mr. Fritz (also I must ask, did you ask for a gun on your car in the last thread, because if so I respect you more now)

And that we did.
>>
>>27728358
I may require The specifications again
as i have forgot them
>>
Rolled 68

>>27728289
>[x] Other
Take Fluffy for a walk in the dark pog, I mean, forest.
>>
Rolled 71

>>27728388
Roll Royce, black with silver trimming. We need a gun installed on the car and a lavish mustache hood ornament.
>>
>>27728429
This was basicly what we asked for though it should be interesting to see a Roll Royce be turned into a technical.
>>
>>27728339
This seems like a good idea. Also, bring Miss Smith and maybe two of the four skellingtons.
>>
Train of thought
>>
>>27728358
Where is Mr. Fritz, you wonder out loud, as if on cue, he burst through the door, looking rather worse than he did when he left. His hair is matted with blood, and one of his eyes is sporting a lovely purple color. But ignoring that his clothes, the left sleeve is torn off, his shirt below covered in scorch marks, and its more torn apart than the man in the backyard.

"Hey boss" He forces a smile, tossing you a set of keys "fancy meeting you here"
what do you say
[] JOHN, IS THE CAR ALRIGHT
[] Mr. fritz, what happened
[] *stare*
[] othere
>>
>>27728503
Demand Mr Fritz ammend his attire, this is no way for a lieutenant to be looking.

and then if we have time ask him what happened.
>>
>>27728503
[X] Mr. fritz, what happened
>>
Rolled 63

>>27728562
Lets do this while twirling our mustache with one hand and pointing at him with our cane.
>>
>>27728562
>>27728600
I support this action.
>>
Rolled 47

>>27728503
In one hand, it'd be amusing to ignore his state. On another, I don't think we should do that to our best lieutenant. So many choices.

>[x]Reprimand Mr. Fritz for not having dressed up properly before talking to you. Then, congratulate him for his work and tell him to call Miss Smith and Fluffly. In the meantime, discover what your new car entails

This may be too much, but eh... Also, this >>27728600
>>
Rolled 25

>>27728600
Mr. Fritz, this attire is unbecoming of my first lieutenant. You will fix your attire before meeting me next time.

Now I assume your presence here means that you either completed the task I gave you or encountered some obstacle. Which is it?
>>
>>27728600
You stare at your second in command, scanning his various wounds and bruises, while twirling your mustache. You point your cane at him, causing him to flinch.

"Mr. Fritz, That is no way for a lieutenant to be looking, go fetch yourself a new set of clothes and bandage up your wounds, blood is ever so hard to wash out" You say calmly. He stares at you, before shaking his head and limping away

"Right away boss" He groans.

Soon
"So there I was" He tells the other henchmen "I'd just found the car the boss wanted, complete with that gun, which I wasn't expecting to find already attached to the car". He gulps down some beer.

"When, suddenly, two bastards in bathrobes jump out of the trunk" He says "demanding I turn over all the corpses I'd raised, I of course said I don't know what you're talking about".

"To which the responded by calling down lightning and hell fire upon me" He says rubbing his bandaged head "the rest is a bit of a blur, until I put a bullet into one of their eyes, hit the other in the groin with a tire iron, and drove off, luckily I had already paid for the car".

"That is ever so interesting Mr.Fritz" You say as you stare out at your newest possession, oh its a beauty, you can't wait to kidnap someone with it

what do you do
[] wait, did John say they had called down lightning and hell fire
[] Take someone for a ride
[] show Mr Fritz your new Drug, Dream train
[] other
>>
>>27728637
We "did" manage to repair Miss smith a bit so we could try to repair his suit, heal him, and remind him that to always be properly dressed.
>>
Rolled 79

>>27728803
>[] wait, did John say they had called down lightning and hell fire
We may have to check up on that.
>[] Take someone for a ride
Take Fritz and Miss Smith for a ride downtown.
>>
>>27728803
[X] wait, did John say they had called down lightning and hell fire
>>
>>27728803
>Take John for a ride to the forest, bring Smith. Ask him more about the men.
>>
Rolled 84

>>27728803
>[x]Wait, did John say they had called down lightning and hell fire?
And what this guy said >>27728839
>>
>>27728839
Sounds good to me.
>>
>>27728803
Take john and ms smith to the forest of random encounters.
>>
>>27728839
"Wait did you say something about lighting and hellfire?" you ask.

"Yeah" He says getting far to close to you "Came right out of their hands, they screamed something about stop resisting arrest and assault on officers".

"How strange" you say "it would appear their are other with my gift in this town, besides of course that....thing". The henchmen ponder this revelation, however thankfully they are quite drunk, so they don't start screaming in fear.

"Mr.Fritz, gather Miss Smith" You say standing up "the two of you deserve a reward".

"T..thank you boss" He says exictedly as he runs into the backyard "Come on, the boss is gonna give us something, LET GO OF THE LEG, NO YOU CAN'T BRING IT".
Soon
Mr. fritz stares at you most displeased.
"Our reward is" he says slowly "a ride in your car".

"Yes, I feel as if you have earned the privilege of being allowed this honor" You say.

"....Thanks boss" Mr.Fritz mummers.

"I wasn't done eating him" Matilda sighs as she stares at the window, looking at the pedestrians with longing in her eyes.

"Where are we going anyways" John asks.

"The forest" You answer. He bites his tongue as his eyes twitch for several moments.

"Jus...l...lovely" he says.

Soon,at the entrance to the forest, you come to a fork in the road
which way do you take
[] right
[] left
[] Make your own road roll1d100
>>
>>27729124
>>27729124
Can't believe I didn't notice I wrote their instead of there
oh well it sounds the same
>>
Rolled 65

>>27729124
>[] Make your own road roll1d100
Why even include ther options?
>>
Rolled 7

>>27729124
Make your own road!
>>
Rolled 86

>>27729124
>[x]Make our own road
We should have brought Fluffly. Also, I have to go, sadly. Will this thread be up tomorrow by the same time? Because if so I won't be available.
>>
>>27729184
if I have time
but so long magic dice man
>>
Rolled 31

Make our own road
>>
Rolled 76

>>27729124
>Make your own road roll1d100
>>
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>>27729184
Farewell, your rolls will be missed.
>>
>>27729184
"WE MAKE OUR OWN ROAD" You shout as your push the gas pedal as far down as it will go.

"BOSS WAIT" Fritz shouts as you plow into the forest like it was a virginal maiden, the foliage parting and breaking. Miss Smith doesn't seem to notice or care. You run down several kinds of wildlife. All the while Mr. fritz bites his knuckles, fearing his hard work would be for not
and then you stop, mainly because you find yourself in a clearing with a lake in the middle, a lake so pure and innocent
what do you do
[] get out of the car and observe the waters
[] bah, boring, FORWARD TO GLORY
[] wait why didn't I bring my dog?
>>
Rolled 39

>>27729311
>[] get out of the car and USE OUR MAGIC TO AWAKEN THE LAKE!
>>
Rolled 4

>>27729311
>[] get out of the car and observe the waters
or let lose a corrupting black wave to wash over and infect the very land with our might
>>
Rolled 98

>>27729311
>[]FORWARD TO GLORY
>>
>>27729311
[X] Wait why didn't I bring my dog?
*suddenly the dog shows up*
Bah, boring, FORWARD TO GLORY!

I like how we are slowly tearing away our lieutenant's sanity.
>>
Rolled 45

>>27729359
This
>>
Rolled 79

>>27729359
This
>>
>>27729311
[X] bah, boring, FORWARD TO GLORY
>>
Rolled 1

>>27729359
"How quaint" you say "a lake". You open up the door, wondering briefly why you didn't bring your dog as he hops out behind you.
"Boss wait" Mr. Fritz says "....you know what have fun, I'm sure you can handle anything this place throws at ya". The grass is covered in dew and softly dance in the wind, you slowly approach the waters, your loyal companion happily running about and enjoying the new aromas. The air is fresh and pure here, and there is a calming presence, however the second you step on the shore, the water surges and out of the depths rises.....
>>
Rolled 2

>>27729474
A maiden dressed in pure white robes, her skin a light shade of blue, her eyes a calming shade of blue. along her neck hangs a necklace of stones, her ears are pointed.
She looks at you and smiles
"Its not often I get visitors out here" She says with a voice like a soft breeze"Get ever so lonely". She obviously isn't human, but she seems friendly enough
What do you do
[] greet her
[] Mr.Fritz, open fire
[] leave
>>
Rolled 98

>>27729364
And completely unintentionally to boot
>>
Rolled 10

>>27729534
>[] greet her
what kind of a gentlemen would we be if we opened fire on a lady
>>
Rolled 87

>>27729534
some one is getting tied to some tracks and getting hit by a train of D
>>
>>27729534
> greet her
Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly the third at your service, my lovely lady.
>>
>>27729534
[X] Greet her

First: find out who and what she is.
Second: Try to recruit
Third: If recruitment fails, mind control
>>
Rolled 16

Ask her if she wants to do some drugs.
>>
Rolled 82

>>27729534
Greet her, of course
>>
>>27729596
"Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly the third" You say with a bow "at you service, my lovely lady". She copies the gesture.

"It is very nice to meet you Mister Dastardly" She says "What brings you to my lake".

"A hunger for adventure and desire of the unknown" You say "And if I may be so bold to ask your name".

"I am the lady of the lake, if I have another name, I have long since forgotten it" She says.

"How unfortunate" You say shaking your head "and you certainly aren't human". She frowns.

"You are correct" She says "I am a spirit of nature, to be precise this very lake, of which I cannot leave"

"A Spirit you say" you say "I've dealt with similar things before".

"Wait you know of spirits" She says sounding excited and reaching out to you "Perhaps you could free me from this curse".

What do you day
[] I'd be happy to oblige roll1d100
[] I'll be sure to visit
[]ahahahahhaahah, (train)
[]write in
>>
Rolled 93

>>27729744
>[] I'd be happy to oblige...for a PRICE! roll1d100
>>
Rolled 91

>>27729744
Say we'll break the curse if she serves us.
Also, ask what kind of curse.
Rolling for curse break though
>>
Rolled 36

>>27729744
>I'd be happy to oblige roll
>>
>>27729801
Sounds good to me!
>>
>>27729801
"I'll be happy to oblige" You say with a smile as you arms crackle with arcane energy "for a price of course".

"Oh anything just please release me from this accursed lake" she says excitedly. You can see it, the pure white chains binding her to this spot, you focus your power unto them in the form of a might spear, shattering the ages old sorcery. A horrible wail shatters the serenity of the meadow, followed by a bright light and deafening bang. You get knocked back from the force of it, and as the smoke clears you see a figure standing up, with some rather grotesque horns upon her head, almost like a stage. its eyes are like shattered glass, and upon it back gosamer wings spread

"Free, finally free" She shout as she approaches you axe in hand "and know to deal with you, foolish enchanter". You smile.

"Did you forget the mentioned price?" you ask "You belong to me now". and it is then when the new chains and shackles appear, a dark shade of purple.
"Noooo" She moans "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!". She is dragged by an unseen force, her needle like teeth gnashing impotently.

"Welcome to the cause, my cause" you say as you command the chains to place her into the trunk of your car, which with a click of a button, opens up "I hope you'll find your new lease on life to be most pleasant". And with that you get back into the car, Mr. Fritz covered in sweat, and Miss Smith apparently asleep in the back seat.
you drive off back into the woods, ignoring the screaming emanating from your trunk.
You have gained minion: Lady of the lake (an ancient creature of magic, bound to a lake by a great wizard long ago)
>>
Rolled 2

>>27730115
Strangely, you find yourself in front of a cottage. It seems out of place, almost supernatural.
What do you do
[] investigate
[] train it
[] leave
[] bah enough of this forest
>>
>>27730135
>[] investigate
>>
Rolled 71

>>27730135
This gon' be gud
>>
>>27730135
[X] investigate

This forest seems like a fun place.
>>
>>27730204
woops, my choice is to investigate
>>
Rolled 69

>>27730135
>[] investigate
Potential new lair!
>>
This guy will totally becoma a lich one day.
>>
We are in dire need of a better lair, complete with skulls and throne(possibly made out of skulls)
>>
Rolled 98

>>27730317
Why not a skull made out of thrones?
>>
>>27730242
You get out of the car, Miss Smith groaning as the screaming wakes her up. John looks at you for a moment before continuing to stare at his shoes. You feel a sense of welcome as you walk towards it, with its gnarled trees and bushes, and the dead deer ensnared in vines, you look through the windo to see a skeleton with a sword jammed through its skull, and broken sigils and runes everywhere, weakly glowing at your presence.
"A new master?" a voice asks
how do you reply
[] yes
[] no
[] yes,a train master
>>
Rolled 75

>>27730361
>[] yes,a train master
Choo-Choo motherfucker
>>
>>27730361
>[] yes
>>
>>27730361
[X] Yes.

This seems like the perfect place and some some reason I can only imagine a look of glee on Dastardly's face when he sees this.
>>
>>27730361
>yes,a train master
>>
>>27730473
oh look a tie
>>
>>27730502
Shall I combine them?
>>
File: 1381717768409.jpg-(477 KB, 1536x2048, Andover_ties.jpg)
477 KB
477 KB JPG
Rolled 75

>>27730502
No, THIS is a tie
>>
Rolled 2

>>27730543
>combine "yes" and "yes, a train master."
Mmmkay
>>
>>27730543
As long as the "train master" bit doesn't summon a train.
>>
>>27730395
"Yes" You say "a train master",

"Oh joyous day, we simply must test the new master" a voice says. A dark wave flows from the house, and the ground cracks open, releasing a horde of skeletons dressed in various armors from long ago. You laugh, child's play, they surround you, a legion of the dammed and a strange tune begins to play (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhZpmFORHBA)
but the question is how do you deal with them
[] CEASE (necromancy) roll1d100
[] Mr.Fritz would you be so kind
[] CANE BATTLE roll1d100
[] train
>>
>>27730619
My thinking exactly.
>>
Rolled 95

>>27730642
>[] CANE BATTLE roll1d100
Lets try not getting more otherwordly attention for now.

Now, lets get cracking.
>>
Rolled 77

>>27730642
>CANE THESE DISRESPECTFUL CORPSES
>>
Rolled 17

>>27730642
We "could" use cease...but where would be the fun in that! CANE BATTLE!
>>
>>27730642
>CANE BATTLE roll1d100

WE'LL DO THIS LIKE A TRUE (GENTLE)MAN!
>>
Rolled 6

>>27730739
2tired 4life
>>
Rolled 15

>>27730678
You smile, the song turning your blood into fire. And then you begin to laugh
"I'll do this alone" you say "but I appreciate the worry Mr. Fritz". Axes, swords. spears, things you don't have names for, it matters not what these bones hold FOR YOU HAVE YOUR CANE. One swings, aiming for your neck, it receives a quick strike to the spine, you hit with enough force the send him tumbling down into pieces. The others do not respond, just keep shambling forward, you tip your hat, and charge, you eyes filling with images of battles long since passed, and blood long since spilt, Crack crack, you smack a two headed one down to dog treats as you dance under the blades of two others, causing them to strike their brothers. You jam your cane through the eye holes of a skeleton that still somehow has a beard, knocking his skull clean off, causing him to swing wildly into the crowd. A skeletal rider and his horse grab you, but soon what was his is now yours and you are riding about the battle field, striking down these poor excuses for warriors like a god of war, eventually the horse is rekilled and you find yourself locking swords (well cane and swords) with a skeleton dressed like a king. He starts to get the upper hand, until you push away his blade and headbut him, cracking his skull like an overripe fruit. After that things fade out, and when you come too, You are on top a pile of bones, covered in what appears to be a mix of battle armor engraved with imagrey of bones and death and ritualistic robes, a dark purple with a ragged hood, and sleeves that seem to vanish into nothing. In a momment it vanish, blown away like smoke in the wind
"Excellent work sir" A voice says "I hope to serve you well". You open your hand to find a amulet with a purple oval stone in the middle, held in place by wicked looking iron spikes
>>
Rolled 10

>>27730928
New lair gained
Cottage, a strange cottage in the woods, it appears to have been owned by someone with similar talents to yourself, you can appear here by clutching the amulet and walking through any old door
New equipment gained: The reapers Vestments *name pending, worn by a corpse raiser like yourself long ago, these robes and armor are perfect for any necromancer who likes getting his hands dirty
>>
You stare at your new properity, and feel a sense of joy
what do you do
[] order your passengers out of the car to explore it with you
[] enter it alone
[] MORE FOREST
[] The henchmen simply most hear the good news
>>
Rolled 27

>>27730995
>[] order your passengers out of the car to explore it with you
Of course.

We should then prepare new lair party and party as if it was the 1900s again!
>>
>>27730995
>[]order your passengers out of the car to explore it with you
>>
Rolled 96

>>27730995
>order your passengers out of the car to explore it with you

Fun for the whole family!
>>
>>27730995
>[X] order your passengers out of the car to explore it with you

Oh a new lair to explore!
>>
I'm going for a quick walk
discuss things among yourselves and I'll return shortly
>>
Rolled 43

>>27731095
>I'm going for a quick walk
You may not.
>>
>>27731095
A walk through the woods?
>>
>>27731095
plsno
>>
>>27731482
Back>>27731303
kind of
>>
>>27731788
You still here?
>>
>>27731831
We're still Mustache Twirler!
>>
Rolled 25

>>27731864
*twirls mustache*
>>
>>27731831
*Barks like a corgi*
>>
>>27731831
I am always here.
>>
>>27731026
Well I hope you are.

You order your passengers out of the car, excluding the thing in the trunk, and order them to follow you into your new abode.

"No, its fine" John says as he's dragged by a rather sour Matilda "I'll watch the car, I won't let nothing touch it".

"If I have to go, your pansy ass has to go" Matilda growls.

"What strange minions you have lord" the voice says.

"I've had stranger" you say.

The door opens by itself, welcoming you inside, it looks like someone tried to burn, exorcise, and demolish the place, Well they didn't do a very good job of it. There is a picture above a fireplace, that quickly shifts into a representation of your own. in a whirl the papers and bloodstains on the floor vanish, and candles are lit, giving the place a nice, homely feel to it, Well at least you think so. There is a skeleton sitting in a chair, wearing similar vestments to the ones you donned in the battle against the dammed, in his hands lies a book wrapped in what appears to be human skin. there is also a set of stairs leading up and down
and a few other rooms in your new home.
what do you do
[] take the book
[] take the sword embedded in the skull of the former owner roll1d100
[] go into another room
[] other
>>
Rolled 53

>>27732001
>[] take the sword embedded in the skull of the former owner roll1d100
>>
Rolled 61

>>27732001
Upgrade our cane to sword cane.
>>
Rolled 67

>>27732001
[X] take the sword embedded in the skull of the former owner and THEN take the book.
>>
Rolled 29

>>27732001
>take the sword embedded in the skull of the former owner roll1d100

Also, want that cute little bookie
>>
>>27732054
You grab the sword and feel your flesh begin to burn
you recoil from it as it glows with a holy light
what do you do
[] grab the book
[] try again roll1d100
[] have someone else grab it
[] other
>>
Rolled 14

>>27732001
Take the book to see if it has the secrets of pulling out the sword.
>>
Rolled 11

>>27732117
>[] try again roll1d100
Why the hell not, WE ARE BETHANY!
>>
Rolled 100

>>27732117
>have someone else grab it
"John, it seems we are in need of someone whom have not dabbled into the dark arts. Something tells me an undead wont help either.
>>
Rolled 2

>>27732117
>[] grab the book
Lets just grab the necronomicon instead
>>
Rolled 52

>>27732117
Try try again!
>>
>>27732164
SO
what do you wish the new dark blade to be called?
>>
Rolled 92

>>27732164
!!!
John: Paladin Mode activated.
>>
Rolled 86

>>27732188
Choo-Choo!
the devil's comb
The RailReaver
>>
>>27732189
Do you wish John to become a holy warrior working for the lord of the dammned
or do wish to pervert this great blade into a tool to be held by the dammed
>>
Rolled 15

>>27732244
Lets go with blade held by the damned.
>>
>>27732260
Sounds like a plan to me!
>>
>>27732244
That's a good question, it could be quite dangerous with a holy warrior close to us. It could also be very usefull.
>>
>>27732188
The blade should be called..... THE ALTERNATOR
>>
>>27732164
You grab the blade, its weak attempts at being perverted to your side of the endless battle of morals, like don't tie a maiden to a rail, or don't feed a man screaming to his dead wife, WHERES THE FUN IN LISTENING TO SUCH BORING RULES. smoke rises from your hands as your force your will and power into the blade, causing it to scream, though it seems only you can hear its pained squeal as its morality and sense of justice are burned away by your whims. You plant your boot on the skull as you tug a pull at the blade, with some effort you manage to pull it free, the skeleton crumbling to dust as the souls of the dammed violate the blade in your hand. The room falls silent as you observe your latest toy
it is (also vote for a name)
[] a sword clear as day, or rather knight
[] A great axe, great for crushing and chopping at pillars of justice
[] a scythe, perfect for reaping mortal souls
[] other
>>
Rolled 57

>>27732419
A cane!
>>
Rolled 80

>>27732419
>[] other
A minigun.
>>
Rolled 92

>>27732419
A cane named kaine.
>>
>>27732468
ahahah oh god
>>
>>27732419
The Rail, great scythe of the damned.
>>
>>27732479
Will it be one of those cane blades
>>
Rolled 26

>>27732419
>[] other
a Monocle with blood red lens
>>
>>27732468
If we just turned it into a minigun of doom I am going to die laughing.
>>
>>27732524
ok, I love that
>>
Rolled 41

Ah damn I really wanted a minigun.
>>
Rolled 24

>>27732534
Of course!
>>
Rolled 50

>>27732534
Sure, why not. A cane blade of EVIL.
>>
>>27732556
Rolling means nothing for this action
>>
>>27732556
Same here, would of been a interesting transformation.
>>
Rolled 18

>>27732578
I know, I am just way too lazy to erase it from my email field.
>>
Rolled 30

>>27732578
You can't stop me.
>>
>>27732578
so far two votes for cane blade
1 for scythe
1 for minigun
1 for monocle
>>
>>27732622
ok two for minigun
>>
>>27732622
[X] Minigun

In case I wasn't clear.
>>
>>27732648
so let another tie
>>
>>27732672
SO, minigun or caneblade
and if so what will itss name be
>>
Rolled 81

>>27732672
I's suggest rolling to break the tie then.
>>
>>27732694
Mini gun, duh.
>>
Rolled 1

>>27732696
I agree
1 for cane blade
2 for a godamn mini gun
>>
>>27732744
Well, we tend to end up in canebattles. So this is good.
>>
>>27732744
FUCK
the one time I don't roll a 2
ok
>>
>>27732694
We could always COMBINE the two!
>>
Rolled 12

>>27732777
How about the sword cam transform at will?
>>
>>27732777
One end is a blade the other can open up to be used as a gun.
>>
>>27732777
THE CANEGUN
GENIUS!
>>
>>27732744
Voting for Sword Cane
>>
Rolled 9

>>27732816
can not cam
>>
>>27732825
Exactly!
>>
Rolled 44

>>27732777
A mini gun cane sounds more ridiculous than what a Saturday morning villain would even have.
>>
>>27732841
>27732841
You can channel magic through it
dark bolts of death and neeeeeeeehing
>>
Rolled 38

>>27732853
Considering the tone of the quest, it wouldn't exactly be innapropriate.

>>27732825
That's fine too.
>>
>>27732853
Oh god do I have to rewrite the thing now
>>
>>27732853
If the penguin can have a umbrella gun we can have a cane minigun.
>>
>>27732853
Well obviously, it's monday.
>>
>>27732899
The Captain is correct, there is precedence in Saturday morning cartoons, I think we should get this.
>>
>>27732744
"Well done new master" The voice says "That old thing was being quite the bother" the cottage seems to repair itself, scorch marks leaving the surfaces that cover it

A cane......its a cane, no wait this part slides back revealing a blade that writhes with the souls of the dammed, and if you twist it this way it turns into a minigun that is surprisingly light, truly this weapon reflects your inner conflict between glass and random violence. You can feel the shear wrongness of this weapon, perverted by your hand, its like your child in a way,
Miss Smith seems to perk up a but
while Mr. Fritz seems ever so slightly ill
you now have two canes, one too many
You suppose you could gift this cane to one of the people in front of you
or perhaps your dog
what do you do
[] swing your new weapon
[] give your old cane to someone
[] explore the cottage (where)
[] other
(also need a name for this abomination of a weapon)
>>
>>27732966
Give the old cane to Miss Smith
>>
Rolled 16

>>27732966
Give the old cane to Mr. Fritz, he didn't get a reward yet for the car.
>>
>>27732966
[X] Give your old cane to Mr. Fritz and pick up that book!
>>
File: 1381725416251.png-(71 KB, 288x222, dog.png)
71 KB
71 KB PNG
Rolled 60

>>27732966
Give it to fluffy
>>
Rolled 71

>>27732966
>other
pick up that book from before
than give the old cane to Mr. Fritz since he as done well so far, even if he is skittish
>>
>>27732966
Name the canegun, Sexy.
>>
>>27732966
You heard it here folks! Our inner conflict is between glass and random violence!
>>
>>27733089
Shhh
they won't notice if you say nothin
>>
>>27733052
I agree with this.
>>
>>27732966
Naming it Kaine the cane still sounds good to me.
>>
>>27733052
You look at your old cane, fondly remembering your time together, that time you stole an entire bakery's worth of goods, the time you kidnapped a whale for no reason besides your pool seemed empty, or that one time when you and your nemesis were captured by savages and had to work together to escape, so many happy memories. You feel tears forming in your eyes
"Mr. fritz" you say holding back sobs "take good care of her". You carefully hand him your oldest friend

"....Ok?" He says "not the reward I was expecting, but its something".

"Just be gentle with her" You say

".....Sure thing boss" He says forcing a smile.
*sad music plays*
what do you do
[]explore the cottage(you can also grab the book as a free action)
[] return to your henchmen
[] more forest
[] other
>>
>>27732966
Give our old cane to Fritz, we need him to be fancier if he is to be our right hand man.
>>
Rolled 88

>>27733188
>[]explore the cottage(you can also grab the book as a free action)
It should be a move action
>>
>>27733188
Explore the cottage and grab the book
>>
>>27733188
>explore the cottage(you can also grab the book as a free action)

Both of these actions, s'il vous plaƮt
>>
>>27733188
(also need a name for the tri weapon)
>>
Rolled 36

>>27733188
>[]explore the cottage(you can also grab the book as a free action)
>>
Rolled 87

>>27733245
The roundhouse.
Kaine, the cane that can.
The Roulette
>>
>>27733245
Kaine the Cane
>>
>>27733276
>Kaine, the cane that can.

Gets my vote.
>>
>>27733276
I like what you did with my name, I vote for this.
>>
>>27733276
I like the last one
>>
>>27733323
I'm with you on this one
>>
Rolled 2

>>27733269
You decided to grab the book, seeing as it is now yours, You flip through it a bit and quickly realize it is a book detailing the creation of different undead monstroitys
How quaint. Item gained: Neeeeehcronomicon (allows for other undead besides skeletons and zombies)
You decide you need to find what this new home holds, you push open a door and find a.....torture room. Well it looks like one, it has an iron maiden in the corner, and a blood stained table adorned with tools made for ruining flesh and mind, also several sets of manacle on the walls....and ceiling
Well this will be most useful
what do you do
[]more exploring this house
[] test this room out
[] Bah, times to see if the henchmen need feeding
[] other (
>>
Rolled 9

>>27733323
So am I
>>
Rolled 43

>>27733358
>[]more exploring this house
I hope there is a spa and multiple bathrooms!!
>>
>>27733358
[x] Bah, times to see if the henchmen need feeding

I'd vote to test the room out but sadly we don't have any suitable test subjects unless the gift to Mr Fitz was to soften the blow before we turned him into a Zombie
>>
>>27733358
[X] Explore the house

We leave when there is nothing else to see!
>>
>>27733358
>more exploring this house
EXPLORE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS MOTHER
>>
>>27733358
Test the room on that thing in our trunk
>>
Rolled 3

>>27733512
What a joy this place is, you throw open another door, and find, a bed room worthy for one such as yourself. it even has a small bookshelf, a mirror, and another door. The bed is rather large, and looks like the one your friend Tina used to own, she was a succubus, who strangely never sucked the damn "heroes" dry, eeeh maybe she was catholic or something
there is a window, that opens up to a view of the forest, it is also reinforced. It also carries the faint smell of lavender
"Does it please you me lord" A voice asks.
"Most certainly" you answer.

What do you
[] explore
[] return to the first lair
[] Bring the thing in the trunk inside
[] other
>>
>>27733597
[x] Bring the thing in the trunk inside
Immediately after finding the swanky bedroom, we go for the enslaved spirit-girl? I guess even the most villainous mind has a few mundane priorities.
>>
>>27733597
[x] Bring the thing in the trunk inside
>>
>>27733661
Would you fuck what may be a fae
Heavily based on the same thing from NWoD?
>>
>>27733661
Hey, this house already has a BDSM dungeon in it so why not?
Also
>Bring the thing in the trunk inside and put in the torture room to keep it there.
>>
>>27733597
>Bring the thing in the trunk inside
We can bind her to the house right? For now atleast, until we unleash the devil on the devilz.
>>
>>27733696
Normally, no.

When we have a functioning "You belong to me" binding on one? There's not much we wouldn't do to them.
>>
>>27733704
actually I decide what appears when you explore this place via 1d4
other possibilities were, library, satanic worship room, and pool
>>
>>27733597
>[X] Bring the thing in the trunk inside

I doubt we will do anything besides bind her here for the moment while we explore some more.
>>
Rolled 1

>>27733777
OOOOOh this should be interesting

You decide not to open that door yet, and leave the cottage

"Oh thank the lord" Mr. Fritz groans. You pop open the truck and force the creature to levitate in the air, her face amusing you to no end as she spits sap with every word in some long lost language, And then she sees the cottage
"NO NOT THERE" She screams "NOT AGAIN". She seems to recognize this place, perhaps whoever bound her used to live there.

"Oh godammit" John says as you proceed to make your guest comftarble in the one of the many manacles of this torture room, causing her to writhe in pain,

"What?" you ask "its just iron". She responds by crying like a deer caught in a bear trap. Bah, builds character
What do you do
[] Test this room on her
[] open the door in your bedroom
[] Return to the lair (the methlab one)
[] other
>>
>>27733864
>[] Test this room on her
till she loves us
>>
>>27733864
A follower that hates us isn't as good as one that fears us, make her bind herself to us in some manner that makes her want to keep us in perfect health or something.
And if she doesn't find out why she fears this place, and then add some new things for her to fear.
>>
>>27733864
>[] open door in bedroom
>>
>>27733864
Give the nice fae lady some drugs. We can atleast let her have some fun. (and you know, the drugs have a very nice side effect). Oooh, maybe she knows about other places of power in the forest?
>>
Rolled 47

>>27733864
torture her until she is ours fully
>>
>>27733864
Open the door in the bedroom.
>>
>>27733864
>[x] Test this room on her
Now I'm curious
>>
>>27733930
the room that currently resides in it is quite fancy due to the 3 and 1
>>
>>27733937
This
>>27733953
>>27733918
These prove that we have a BDSM dungeon.
>>
Rolled 96

>>27733953
>>27733937
Thisis my fetish.
>>
Rolled 1

>>27733986
You think about giving this strange creature some dream train, to test out its effects, sadly you did not bring any, and this angers you slightly. But a true gentleman would never harm a lady, but fortunately you aren't a true gentleman, and she isn't a lady. Oooh what's this thing do, ooh that scream sounded a tad musical, lets see if we can reproduce it, are you crying honey? my aren't you the strangest beast I've ever seen. Now lets see what happens when we put this there.....and this here, oh its like the symphony. However you quickly bore of this strange creatures musical cries and bird calls, so you leave her to think about what you forgot to bring
What do you do
[] open the door
[] ask why Mr fritz and miss smith look so terrified
[] return to methlab
[] other
>>
>>27734043
Me to my brother
>>
>>27734060
(also tell me when I should archive, or one of you gents could do it, don't panic, we aren't stopping anytime soon)
>>
>>27734060
>[] ask why Mr fritz and miss smith look so terrified
>>
>>27734060
>[X] ask why Mr fritz and miss smith look so terrified while we make our way to open that door.
>>
>>27734060
>[] ask why Mr fritz and miss smith look so terrified
>>
>>27734060
>ask why Mr fritz and miss smith look so terrified
>>
>>27734161
seconded or somethin
>>
>>27734125
archive, please good sir.
>>
Rolled 4

>>27734203
"Why are you two staring at me jaws agape and eyes wide open like a maiden on a rail road" you ask.

"You didn't close the door" Mr.fritz replies "dear lord was it really necessary too do that thing with the....I don't even want to know what that thing was, so many spikes.

"You made a corpse terrified" Miss smith says "Good work....I guess".

"Thank you miss Smith" you say as you return to your bedroom, no longer able to resit the temptation of THE DOOR
you throw it open and are greeted with a warm breeze....its a garden....no its a bathroom....its a garden and a bathroom, how peculiar, especially in a place such as this, whoever made this place had fine taste, though you wonder how the managed to create what appears to be a small pocket world for the soul purpose of relieving themselves
truly they were a man of class
what do you do
[] close the door and test it out
[] explore
[]return to methlab
[] other
>>
Rolled 10

>>27734331
>[x]return to methlab
>>
>>27734331
>explore
How many more rooms are there? I
>>
>>27734331
>[x] return to methlab
>>
>>27734370
A very good question.
>>
>>27734401
I don't know
>>
>>27734331
Go to the methlab and get the Dream Train, then return and use it on the thing from the lake.
Also name the thing from the lake.
I propose Viviane or Ninianne
>>
>>27734322
done
>>
Rolled 13

>>27734433
>Viviane or Ninianne
Viviane
>>
>>27734433
I support this course of action.
>>
>>27734433
How about Nessy ?
>>
>>27734433
You decide to return to your lesser lair to gather Dream train and tell your henchmen of your new home, much to the joy of Mr.Fritz

"Let me gooooo" the creature groans from within its new home.

"Silence Viviane" You command.

"My name isn't mmmmmmph" She begins

"You know I wish it was the easy to shut up my girl" Mr. fritz says.

"I wish it was that easy to shut up the creeper who wants to sell snuff films starring me" Miss Smith says.

"I wish it was that easy to shut up the voices in my head" You say "......I'm joking, the only voice in my head is my conscious" that makes them look at you even stranger

The ride back is uneventful, besides a few robed men asking for directions, and a pack of horse headed men chasing down some maidens. Soon the familar neighbor hood comes into view, so peaceful, so serene.
Then you notice the gun fire and actual fire, everywhere, several men and women wearing red masks appear to be assualting your lair
what do you do
[] Mr fritz, man the gun, Miss Smith follow me
[] Oh bollocks to this, have a ticket home, courtesy of me (train)
[]Test out your new weapon roll1d100
[] other
>>
>>27734610
>[x] Mr. Fritz, man the gun, Miss Smith follow me
Do this while commanding you're undead army to come and help.
>>
>>27734610
[x] Mr fritz, man the gun, Miss Smith follow me
>>
>>27734610
>[] Oh bollocks to this, have a ticket home, courtesy of me (train)
Soon you will know the full power of my fully operation TRAIN!
>>
Rolled 97

>>27734610
>Test out your new weapon roll1d100
CANEBATTLE EXTREME
>>
>>27734610
>Mr fritz, man the gun, Miss Smith follow me
>>
>>27734610
>[X] Mr fritz, man the gun, Miss Smith follow me

Time to test out our new toy!
>>
>>27734444
feel free to thumb it up
>>
Rolled 50

>>27734610
[] Mr fritz, man the gun, Miss Smith protect him
[]Test out your new weapon roll1d100
>>
>>27734692
And we should probably use that undead army
>>
>>27734702
and by thumb up I mean votes
old habits die hard I guess
>>
>>27734685
Oooh, a nice roll. I HOPE IT'S NOT WASTED *hint* *hint*
>>
>>27734704
Thinking about it that sounds like a better idea.
>>
>>27734685
"Reaping activated, don the vestments sir, and make these mortals quake in fear" the voice from the cottage says.

"Mr Fritz, man the gun" You say as the purple robes and death inspired armor reform upon you "Miss Smith follow me".

"Gentlemen" You say to these infidels attacking your holy temple "Perhaps we could work out an agreement".

"There he is" One of them calls out.

"KILL IM" Another cries

"Just what are you wearing!" one with a lisp shouts

You close your eyes as a tune begins to play (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7exPsqt_Z0Y) as you reveal your blade, it's edge looking like a hungry mouth to feed. So you do, moving as quick as death, you cut these heretics down, your little monster drinking deep their blood. The noise of battle dims, as you cut them down. You decide to test out its other setting and laugh as you see your foes turn to paste at the force of your minigun, a few even turn their guns upon themselves and their comrades as you enter their broken minds and make them your playthings.

"Excellent work master" the voice commends as you drive your blade into one of their eye sockets, before turning the poor sod into jelly with its second setting "Look at them fall like stalks of wheat, Feast my lord, feast". and with that, a purple light gathers along your arms and covers all else, and with a horrid wail, your foes are no more, or at least they are when you come to again, holding someone's arm, Miss Smith making quick work of a still living lasses guts, and Mr.Fritz cursing and shooting at the retreating devils. Your normal suit returns as the vestments vanish into a purple smoke and enter the amulet around your neck

"Jesus christ boss" the fat man says "You slaughtered them like animals".

"YA SENT THEM BACK TO THEIR FATHER" The formerly bearded man shouts in joy as he hops around firing his shot gun

"They ain't gonna fuck with us anytime soon" Mr. Fritz says

"G...get her off of me" The lass begs
>>
>>27735019
to which Miss Smith responds by breaking her neck like a twig
What do you do
[] make chase
[] get the dream train, and some henchmen and check on Viviane
[] Raise the fallen (as what)
[] other
>>
Rolled 12

>>27735043
[] get the dream train, and some henchmen and check on Viviane
[] Raise the fallen (as what)
try and raise one of each new undead from our book and send them after the ones who fled
>>
Rolled 20

>>27735043
>[] Raise the fallen (as what)
skeletons, they don't deserve to be ghouls
>>
>>27735043
What can we raise the fallen as?
>>
Rolled 32

>>27735019
Am I the only one that thinks the beared man is BRIAN BLESSED?
>>
>>27735113
his beard reappears as his identity is revealed
>>
>>27735094
Anything
but you need to roll to find the page that contains the information
>>
File: 1381732156915.gif-(1.75 MB, 300x174, Brian-Blessed-1.gif)
1.75 MB
1.75 MB GIF
Rolled 99

>>27735128
>>
>>27735162
should I add him to the notable members
>>
Rolled 55

>>27735143
rolling for page in book
>>
>>27735043
Combine the corpses of all the fallen into one big abomination and then give chase with our latest creation.
>>
>>27735228
gonna need a roll for that
also I respect how you do not care about the fact you may have just eaten their souls
>>
Rolled 72

>>27735143
Rolling for Spectral dead
>>
Rolled 64

>>27735246
Hey, those souls were tasty
>>
Rolled 89

>>27735228
I was thinking this but wanted to make sure.
>>
Rolled 100

>>27735196
I would like that
>>27735228
rollan
>>
>>27735363
Well that seals the deal.
>>
>>27735363
And suddenly we have created another undead that could think.
>>
>>27735363
Slow Clap
>>
Rolled 41

>>27735363
Woo my first crit!
>>
>>27735363
Any dice roll limits btw? Like a cutoff or something?
>>
>>27735253
You flip through the NEEEEHCRONOMICON
ignoring the whoops and cheers of your henchmen, and the fact that the large man just regrew his beard
Oooh what's this? Spectral undead, well that sounds interesting.....wait, what's this
Abomination, well whatever it is, its big, ugly, and you appear to have just the right ammount of body part
How quaint.
You smile as the gore around you begins to stitch itself together with Threads of purple energy, Soon a lumbering creature, with three arms made out of broken corpses, and wearing quite a red masks over its three faces rises before you, it kneels before you.

"Most excellent choice master" the voice says.

"What is your bidding" It asks in your head.

"Hunt down your so called friends who left you to this fate, add them to yourself, then when you are done, go into the forest and hide until my command, do not touch anything in there" you say

"Your will is my command" it says in your head as it lumbers after the Devilz "Stop running "friends" I just want to "hug" you"

"Now how are you going to hide that" Mr. Fritz asks.

"I don't know" You answer "But it seems like a nice enough fellow".

"I'm glad you didn't turn me into that" Miss Smith says.

"oh I still could" You say, causing her to look a tad frightened "But I won't, it would be quite the waste"

"THAT WAS A WORK OF ART IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF" the bearded fellow bellows.

"Well I wouldn't say art" that fat one says
what do you do
[] have a brunch with your henchmen
[] dream train + fae =?
[] Follow your new creation
[] other
>>
>>27735363
>>27735397
yep
>>
>>27735476
>[] dream train + fae =?
Profit
>>
>>27735476
> [x] have a brunch with your henchmen
Catch up with what has been going on while we were in the forest.
>>
>>27735476
[X] have a brunch with your henchmen
>>
>>27735476
>dream train + fae =?
>>
>>27735455
no
>>
>>27735584
>>27735543
shall I brake this tie myself or?
>>
>>27735587
Life going to be dangerous when your a mustache twirling villain
>>
Rolled 45

>>27735584
This
>>
>>27735593
We could do both!
>>
>>27735648
Brunch with a drug induced fae and our henchmen sounds great
>>
Rolled 16

>>27735668
Change vote to this
>>
>>27735584
"So boss" one of your henchmen asks "What we gonna do about the devilz?"

"Nothing now" You say "bring me copious amounts of dream train, I wish to test something"

"The what" he asks "is that the stuff twitch took that caused him to start drawing shit all over the walls".

"Perhaps" You ask "Bring it here, Mr. Fritz, Gather the dead, Miss Smith....enjoy your meal, I'll be back for brunch soon".Soon a bag of your creation is given to you, you clutch your amulet and walk through the front door, and enter your cottage instead of the house

"Welcome home master" the voices says

"Oooh Viviane" You call out "I have a present for you". You shake the bag as you enter her room.

"Noo" She mutters "I can smell the taint on it".

What do you do
[] force feed it to her roll1d100
[] says its candy roll 1d100
[] throw some at her hoping it gets in her mouth
[] other
>>
>>27735668
Vote changed. Why didn't I think of this. We could also introduce our henchmen to the house spirit.
>>
>>27735709
You can summon your henchmen via other
>>
Rolled 67

>>27735708
Continue testing the room on her until she asks to be given our present.
>>
>>27735708
>says its candy roll 1d100

Well, it may be just as.... tasty and fun atleast.
>>
Rolled 9

>>27735708
>[x] says its candy roll 1d100
It's a little different though because instead of being sweet for you it makes you sweet on me.
>>
Rolled 15

>>27735749
aaaand I forgot to include the roll... again.
>>
>>27735749
You forgot to roll friend
>>
Rolled 8

>>27735708
It's wonderful candy!
>>
Rolled 12

>>27735775
>>27735759
>>27735757
This is going to go great I bet.
I want it to be candy, amazing candy.
>>
Rolled 89

>>27735793
Not with those rolls!
>>
>>27735757
>>27735759
>>27735775
I don't think she believes us
>>
>>27735803
I am debating whether that 89 counts
>>
Rolled 63

>>27735813
Flip a coin
>>
>>27735813
It didn't link to the correct post I'd say no
>>
>>27735813
It should be counted, it was a nice pun.
>>
>>27735801
"It's candy" you say with a smile. a long tongue emerges from her mouth, grabbing the bag from your hand, or you think she's doing that, when you very suddenly feeling a piecing pain in you arm.

"You will not harm the master" the voice says as Viviane twitches from some unseen current. You glare at your torn sleeve as you proceed to empty the bag into her open mouth. Her eyes switch to various colors, before a loud screech fills your ears, and images of glass cities among toadstools and men made out of spider webs fill your mind
roll1d100 to not lower sanity
>>
Rolled 37

>>27735904
rollan
>>
Rolled 24

>>27735904
We be high as a Kite
>>
Rolled 26

>>27735904
Come on one I want us crazier
>>
Rolled 81

>>27735904
sanity? who needs that?
>>
Rolled 92

>>27735904
I'm not sure if I want my sanity to stay intact or not. I will let the dice decide.
>>
Rolled 42

>>27735904
Sanity is overrated
>>
Rolled 2

>>27735904
>>
>>27735952
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" You find yourself screaming, and then the images stop. Viviane's eyes stop switching colors. It appears your minds were briefly linked, and it appears they were not compatible, perhaps something could remedy this problem.

"You should be ranting right now" She says staring at you.

"You saw into my head" You laugh wickedly as you touch a iron mask "I'm not a normal man".
You can't understand the emotion in her eyes, but you hopes its fear. Then you remember, she tore your coat
what do you say
[] NO ONE TOUCHES MY COAT (beating)
[] think about what you did (iron mask)
[] oh come on now, I think we could get along if we tried roll1d100
[] write in
>>
Rolled 35

>>27735904
rollin
>>
Rolled 72

>>27736041
[] NO ONE TOUCHES MY COAT (beating)
[] oh come on now, I think we could get along if we tried roll1d100
Yell the second one whilst beating for the coat tear
>>
>>27736041
>[x] NO ONE TOUCHES MY COAT (beating)
We be unstable
>>
Rolled 77

>>27736041
>NO ONE TOUCHES MY COAT
>>
Rolled 38

>>27736064
You have my vote great sir.
>>
Rolled 30

>>27736041
>oh come on now, I think we could get along if we tried roll1d100

She'll pay us back for the coat, later.
>>
Rolled 27

>>27736064
this
>>
I'm starting to feel a bit squeemish, but don't let that stop you.
>>
>>27736041
She's a fae, isn't she? Aren't they supposed to be excellent tailors and craftsmen? Force her to make us a new set of stylish clothes to replace the ones she damaged. The best she can make, and no nasty surprises.
>>
Rolled 16

>>27736041
[X] think about what you did (iron mask)
it's such a shame about that terrible reaction to iron
>>
Rolled 16

>>27735904
The visions taste of yellow and spite.
>>
>>27736064
You feel the familiar burn of rage seething within you. You grasp her by her horns.

"NO *SLAM* ONE *SLAM* TOUCHES *SLAM* MY *SLAM* COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAT *SLAM* *SLAM* *CRACK*" You scream as you beat her head against the wall, cracking it with the last blow. she begins to beat, that's when you start to hit her, and hit her hard
"COME ON NOW" You scream into her ear "I THINK WE COULD GET ALONG IF WE TRIED". Sap begins to stick to your hands, and once again honey pours from her eyes, the sound of birds chirping emanating from her mouth calming you down enough to let you think clearly. There is sap stuck to the wall, and parts of her antler have been broken off. Your watch tell you an hour has past. She makes a sound like a bird chick being squashed underneath your boot.
What do you do
[] apologize
[] Continue
[] leave
[] other
Captcha: John ihowed
He knows
>>
>>27736157
If only you had said this earlier
>>
>>27736219
It's not too late! Order her to make us a replacement coat. Until it's finished she's not allowed to take any action not directly necessary for working on it.
>>
Rolled 51

>>27736219
>[]other

give her another offer to join with you
>>
Rolled 36

>>27736219
Ask her if she would like to get along yet.
Then make her fix our coat.
>>
Rolled 57

>>27736219
Didn't we heal miss smith? If so we should restore the fae a bit and then proceed to make demands or torture
>>
>>27736313
>>27736313
no
Through necromantic energies
if you had focused on the serene glade surrounded by burnt barrens
maybe
>>
Rolled 12

>>27736313
We could only heal Miss Smith because she was undead and we know necromancy. But we could try and focus on healing and maybe learn that magic. I'm rolling to learn healing, (this fluff will increase my roll) We notice that there is little difference between the undead and the living body and channel our powers to heal living tissue instead of dead.
>>
>>27736219
>[x] apologize
Don't know what came over me, I'm usually so well collected with my behavior.
>>27736313
I think that's because she was undead, still I'd be willing to shove some necrotic healing magic in to her to see what happens.
>>
Rolled 27

>>27736345
Can fae become undead?
Like the chick from Overlord 2
>married dent
captcha you so crazy
>>
Rolled 8

>>27736219
[] apologize
>>
>>27736304
I vote for this
>>
>>27736393
".....Sorry" You say as you remove your coat "be a dear in fix this". You place your coat on the blood covered table. And with a thud the manacles unshackle themselves from around here wrists, letting her fall into a crumpled heap on the floor. You briefly think about the differences between the living and the dead, but quickly forget about this train of thought, as you realize you don't care
what do you do
[] explored
[] return to henchmen, for brunch
[] summon henchmen for brunch
[] other
>>
Rolled 55

>>27736448
[] summon henchmen for brunch
>>
Rolled 99

>>27736448
>[x] explored
Since we're here after all.
>>
>>27736448
>summon henchmen for brunch
>>
>>27736374
perhaps
>>
Rolled 91

>>27736523
I vote to reward/punish her next time by trying to do that then.
>>
>>27736507
You focus for a moment, holding your amulet, and with a loud thud all of your henchmen appear in the torture room, looking surprised, horrifed, and confused by the creature on the floor.

"So about Brunch" you say, not caring to notice some of them look rather hurt "Oh stop screaming, its not like I have time to torture all of you"
what do you do
[] show them around the place
[] introduce them to the voice
[] take them for a hunting trip
[] stop for tonight
[] unless you wish to find the satanic worship room real quick
>>
Rolled 72

>>27736588
>[] show them around the place
>[] introduce them to the voice
>[] unless you wish to find the satanic worship room real quick
These please
>>
>>27736588
>introduce them to the voice
This ought to be good
>>
>>27736588
>[] introduce them to the voice
eat brunch, and then
>[] find the satanic worship room real quick
>>
>>27736588
>[x] unless you wish to find the satanic worship room real quick
>>
>>27736602
"This is my home" you say as you show them the main room.

"IT IS RATHER COZY' The bearded man says.

"Are we a cult now?" the fat man asks.

"We weren't already?" You ask "aw well, its not like it matters".

"Hello" The voice says "I assume you are the master's minions"

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT" That fat one says, hiding behind a much smaller henchman

"Just the voice" You say.

"And what is it exactly" one asks

"I don't know, but he's a rather nice chap" you answer "Now I simply must show you around".

"If its okay I'll just sit in the corner eating snacks" The fat one asks.

".........F....fine" You say "But it comes out of your paycheck". With that a great deal of henchmen sit around and and eat the various foods they fell with

"Do you wish me to punish them sir" the voice asks

"Not let" you answer

you throw open a door, and find a......a......Satanic worship room? judgeing by the basin filled with dark liquid in the middle of it, and the blood stained altar
well, this is unexpected
You wonder what would happen if you offered a life to what ever force this room is made to honor
what do you do
[] end here
[] LETS MAKE A DEAL WITH SATAN
[] other
>>
>>27736696
>end here
This has been great but I gotta get some sleep
>>
>>27736696
am I alone?
>>
Rolled 21

>>27736696
Invite Viviane and the abomination to dine with us
>>
>End here
When can we expect to see the next installment of our evil baby?
>>
Rolled 42

>>27736696
[X] End here

Love the quest but sleep is calling to me!

Keep up the great work.
>>
>>27736754
I understand, thou is just a simple mortal
>>
>>27736767
When are you planning to continue this?
>>
>>27736762
Anything
though if you deal with satan you may encounter a similar offer to what the "hero" of the black comedy quest thing encountered
then again you may just see a demon screaming impotently as a train rams him through hell
>>
Rolled 84

>>27736788
Can we keep going until we make a deal with train demon?
>>
>>27736802
Test
>>
>>27736818
its your choice
>>27736787
Possibly tommorow
I might do so throughout the week
but I to have other things to do
thought friday is definite
and the weekend nearly so
just look for the top hat at the start of the thread around 5pm est
>>
>>27736831
but I feel this is enough for today
>>
Rolled 21

>>27736848
Night
>>
>>27736858
so long Fiendish fuckers
rest knowing you beat the shit out of a fae for tearing your coat


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