> Previous thread here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Unemployment%20Quest> Quest Twitter: @Stratocumulus1You are the Protagonist of Unemployment Quest, and right now you're-Look, I really don't think this is appropriate for the first post. But you *are* in fact currently with Erica, having-Really, let's not. But it's true! The act is taking place! There's no doubt about it!Yeah, but this will be on the catalogue! And people will come across and think this quest is just smut, smut, smut! Think of the letters we'll get!Ah, fine, fine. You are doing something the nature of which will be ALL SO INAPPROPRIATE to reveal, with this girl called Erica, in a changing room. All we want to do is to tell a story, and include all the details, however smutty, and THIS is the thanks we get! This!> cont'd.
Unemployment quest, the most misleadingly titled quest ever>as said by the great Descartes "my Dick is ready"
>>27535236We are unemployed though.
>>27535202You're meant to be in Ellsburn Market this evening, helping your friend Joanna - Joanna Günzel, apparent exile of the Günzel Corp - to sell hotdogs, but for now you're just looking over all your merchandise as Erica pulls on her pants and black top. You grab a t-shirt that you meant to buy, but which is all wrinkled because she stuffed it in her mouth to stifle herself. A lesser man might feel annoyed, perhaps, but you're willing to take this as a compliment. 'So...' Erica says in a light voice, adjusting her clothes and opening the door, 'shall we head... to the counter?' 'Not before you give me your number,' you say, but then as you gather your stuff you walk out and nearly bump into her. 'What-''Erica,' comes the shrill voice of the shop manager you recognise from just a short while ago, 'what's this? Where were you?'> What say? Looks like you're needed to the rescue!
>>27535261We're buying quite a lot, yes? I seem to recall it being something like $800 of clothes.So say something like "Sorry for taking up so much of your employee's time, but I wanted to get all of these, and I had a lot of questions to ask."Manager's less likely to get all suspicious of there's a big sale on the line.
>>27535261Erica was assisting me with some choices for clothing, I am spending a rather large amount so I wanted a second opinion on them
>>27535261Sweet talk the manager telling that she was just helping you pick out clothes.
>>27535309>>27535311>>27535346Probably better if we don't apologise as if we've done something wrong, but yeah, something like these.
>>27535394>>27535346>>27535309>>27535311While Erica is still frozen, you nudge her aside gently, showing the pile of clothes you wanted to get. It's quite an assortment - you're aiming for dapper, so it's mostly shirts, pants, and a lovely business suit. And jeans, more jeans, and some t-shirts. And of course the red and black hat, with a pheasant's entire tail sticking out of the top. 'Excuse me, I was just thinking of buying all these, so I got Erica to help me pick them out. She's been lovely,' you say, choking back a little giggle, 'very lovely.''All of that?' The manager glances you over. 'Well, would you like to go with me to the counter then? And Erica?''Yes!' She trots up beside you. 'Go downstairs to tend the bag department,' she says, and Erica almost flinches. Damn, you haven't gotten her number yet! It also seems clear what the manager is trying to do - sales are credited to the people who made them, and she's trying to close what Erica's opened. Also, you glance sideways at a mirror, and then notice the splotches of red on your jaw and neck, and your cheek as well. Why's she got so much lipstick on? 'Ah, uh, okay...' Erica begins to walk off. > What do/say?
>>27535440Jump over the counter and punch the dickhead in the stomach.
>>27535440I would like Erica to ring these up, it would be a waste for you to fiddle about with all this when the job is half done and you obviously have more important things to be doing
>>27535440Stand up for Erica! Say we'll follow her to the counter.
first this: >>27535504then do: >>27535504We shall defend Erica's honor since we are pub brawlers.
>>27535440No I think Erica will ring these up for me, the customer is always right aren't they?Give the cunt a very pointed look that hints towards unspeakable pain and horrors inflicted upon them and their shitty little store if they push the issue
>>27535440">>27535504do this and remember to write complainant about the management here, how rude they are.
>>27535511> In all fairness, you've already done that, mate.
>>27535516whoops. Linked the samefirst this: >>27535504then this: >>27535454
>>27535454No.>>27535440Why not just say that since Erica was so helpful, we wanted her to ring it up, only fair.
>>27535440honestly at the point she said "Well, would you like to go with me to the counter then" we should have said no. and walk there waiting for Erica
>>27535440Whatever else we do, try to surreptitiously wipe off the lipstick, on the off-chance the manager hasn't noticed it already.
>>27535526in all fairness mate, you write a bunch of dialog (love it by the way) and at several points in it we could have said something to gain control of this conversation like>>27535546or after 'All of that?' "yep, come on ring this up for me " and gesture towards Erica or just pass of the cloths to Erica and have her carry them to the counter to ring up
>>27535504>>27535511>>27535516>>27535520>>27535525You give the nasty, middle-aged- actually she doesn't look nasty at all, and for someone in her probably late 30s she's kept herself quite well. But she *is* nasty for trying to bully Erica out of a sale. 'Well, I think Erica should ring these up,' you say, and both women stare at you in some surprise. 'It's her job, isn't it? I asked her to help me pick all these.'You follow that up with a Death and Suffering Glare at the manager, who unsurprisingly reflects it back onto Erica for a moment before turning back with a smile. 'Oh! Oh certainly sir, I'm sorry. Erica, will you...''Oh god, why did you do that?' Erica whispers as she leads you into a corner, looking back occasionally. The manager stands there for some moments, then she pisses off. 'Now she'll come down hard on me!''What, harder than I did?'She takes up the scanner. 'Technically, you didn't go *down*. My back hurts now. What's your number?' You exchange numbers as she scans each item. 'What're you up to today? Do you do work, or are you just a fighter or something? You've got very nice shoulders.''Thanks,' you smile. 'And for fuck's sake, don't ever wear this hat.'Hmph. > Erica's contact GET. > What do/say? > It's like, 4 now. Do something else? This is the shopping district, and next to it are cinemas and night markets, but the night market's not open yet...
>>27535626Tell her we'll be at Ellsburn. When does she knock off? Maybe she can come with us?
>>27535626I am a freelancer, do jobs where they come for certain peopleNice job since it means I get a decent amount of free time.Technically it isn't a lie
>>27535751>>27535767'Well, I'm a bit of a freelancer, actually. I do jobs when they come, you know, when people give me work to do.''That sounds dangerous,' she says in a voice that seems more suited in the bedroom than the, uh, danger room. 'So you're a fighter, then. Many people do that these days, don't they? Or something like that?''Not necessarily fighter. Punching's not the only thing I can do. Later, in fact, I'm going to Ellsburn Market, and-''What? I work there!' She grins. 'I'm knocking off in like half an hour, and then I get there at six. There's a concert on tonight, so I do the backstage stuff. And, hmm, but would you do any fighting work?''Maybe...''Because I might know someone...' she trails off, then presents you the neatly folded pile of clothes. '$842, please.'> What do/say to that?
>>27535903I think after the convo, let's find a pub or cafe and sit down.
>>27535903Pay the cash and say: "So you mean bouncer work? Sure! Sounds easy enough."
>>27535903Hand over $850Price and a tip, I am interested in that sort of work but it isn't the only thing I can do
>>27535903"Yeah, I've fought for some cash before? What kind of 'fighting' do you mean though?"
>>27535903Don't just agree sight unseen, but tell her that we'll hear her out about the job, sure.
>>27536044>>27535950>>27535919> You have $150 left. You hand over the cash with a little tip. 'What, so you mean, bouncer work?''Huh, that too maybe, if you like carrying stuff around,' she says. 'But actually what I was thinking of was a one off. I've got a friend who... needs to collect a loan, you see, so you know, needs a little bit of intimidation going on...'Huh. So this is the short of rush girls get from shopping! Hands laden with plastic bags, you get out and feel your feet becoming surprisingly sore while you're at it, so you head down to the main cafe, a Carducks Coffee, and get something and sit down. Now that you're a hustler, to be honest, you might want to consider the contacts you've made in your life. You haven't been a very social person so far, unless you count fighting as socialising (it kind of is though, isn't it?), but you do count quite a few friends on your phone, of course. Oh wait, yes, your phone! You fish it out just as someone comes to you and asks if you'd like to order. Woah, since when did Carducks become so upmarket?> What do you order? They serve coffee of all sorts. And cakes. And... sweets, mostly. > Roll d100.
>>27536101> Sorry, just to clarify, you told Erica you'd think about it. Anyway, it looks like you might be meeting later at the Market... > You can call her at any time to make arrangements about the job.
>>27536101Irish coffee, with a shot of real whiskeyAnd something terribly sweet that doesn't go well with it to eat
>>27536101Mocha chai latte with a squirt of caramel flavoring and extra whip cream. Also, a blueberry muffin.
>>27536101Order some coffee. Then go to home and change into your inconspicious outfit. After that call Erica to make arrangments.
>>27536101Just ask for the most homosexual drink on their menu and a piece of coffee cake.
Rolled 8>>27536101Rollan, whatever is good to drink and eat
Rolled 25>>27536101Rollan. Going with >>27536131 for order. Check phone.
What are we rolling for?
Rolled 51>>27536191>>27536206>>27536210>Nobody rolled above a 30.Ain't that just peachy.
>>27536272>>27536269>>27536131>>27536145>>27536156>>27536164>>27536210'Hmm. I'd like some coffee.''Yes, sir, what sort would you like?' The waiter is a pretty no-nonsense looking dude, short-cropped hair. Eventually you ask if they actually have whiskey in the cafe, and he nods. 'Not openly, of course.''Then could I have Irish coffee with a shot of that? Also, I'd like a caramel shortcake,' you say, glancing at his face. RESULT! He gives a twitch of disgust, before burying it hastily under a smile. 'Certainly, sir, of course.'As he goes off you check your phone, only to see a message from Joanna: 'Fuck, everyone came early, good spots all taken! Am in far corner of market now, fuck.'Ah, damn! That didn't go very well at all. But meanwhile, as you're thinking of contacts, you begin thumbing through your list of the people you knew. Your college circles were relatively narrow, but still there should be something to work with...> What were your social circles like in university? Because of your middling roll, you're allowed to choose 3 societies or activities you partook in. And of course your major. The shortcake comes, along with the coffee. Oh, this is pretty good - especially the shortcake. Jo, meanwhile, continues to send you messages whining about how poor the spot is. This is a little worrying...> What do/say? Do you want to head down early? Ellsburn normally opens at 6, but for you it oughtn't be a problem...
>>27536291Sabotaging shit. Fucking the sluts. Crushing your enemies. Also mechanical engineering.
>>27536291Send a message to Jo saying we'll be there soon. Don't leave a bro hanging.
>>27536291We were a chemistry major.We were in a boxing gym, had a pretty tight-knit study group, and were in a frat.
>>27536291>>27536321this,and we were into useless things hence why we are out of work philosophy, parkour, and drinking like a fish
>>27536331Sounds good aside from the frat, maybe we were well known around the college pub and the desperate dregs that inhabited it regularly
>>27536317>>27536321>>27536331>>27536353>>27536359>>27536384> Sorry for flakiness, was having dinner. Done now!> Major still undetermined. Ah, college... you can completely remember not doing much proper work at all. Instead you joined a boxing gym as well as a martial arts club, or at least you did until you got kicked out for applying those skills a bit too frequently in the pubs around campus. You also did quite a few ladies, though you're not sure about their willingness to talk to you these days - some might be, for sure, but others might be a bit more wary. Well, there's never any harm in reconnecting is there... Maybe you should go back to the university one day and check it out. The pranks you played, like putting a drunk housemate at the edge of a four storey building and waking him up (he's fine, he's fine), the parkour classes you sometimes took... Oh well. You reply to Jo, saying you'll be there soon. Then, having finished the food, you realise - why did you eat all that? There's free bratwurst in Ellsburn Market! Oh well... > cont'd.
>>27536475Ellsburn Market is the smaller of the two markets in your neighbourhood, and the rather more hip and 'modern' one. There's concert venues where indie bands and other sorts like to play, and other than the food, the stuff being sold there tends towards the hipsterish - vintage stuff, unconventional stuff, unconventional-looking stuff. Not sure you like it, and not sure why Jo decided to get a sausage stand there. The bus ride isn't too long, and by the time you arrive, the place is already a hive of activity, with people setting up their stalls and activities, vehicles backing in and out of the big parking lot. You narrowly avoid getting run over by a white truck before heading to the corner where Jo is...... it's not that bad! She waves at you, one hand holding a coffee, and wearing a black apron. It's not something you expected to see on Jo, but somehow it looks cute. 'Oi. So what're you up to?''Nothing... much.''Your arms still sore?'No, actually, and you say so. Sex does cure all ills. Unfortunately your admission means you have to carry the condiments and sauerkraut jars and line them up properly on the counter. 'Bit to the left. Bit to the right. Excellent!''It's where it fucking was, mate!' Just then, an announcer says that the market is officially open for business, and you can see in the distance a group of people filtering in. Sadly, they turn right instead of left, heading for the clothes warehouse. 'It's probably going to be a quiet night,' Jo mutters while stirring onions. 'Nice clothes by the way.''Thanks.' Your shirt and jeans combo *is* quite nice, hmm. > What do? While your position isn't disastrous, it's not ideal. You're not in a high footfall area, it seems. > But meanwhile, more groups are flooding in. It's 6 and they're hungry! > Also, your social groups have been taken into account, so you'll meet friends who did roughly the same things as you did.
>>275364753 votes chemistry major1 vote philosophySince that was it I think it was pretty clear
>>27536558Gather a crowd of people with our singing praise about the hot dogs.
>>27536558Let's go divert some traffic towards the sausagesPut that chemistry major to good use and have an "accident" that closes off the main path that people are using so that they have to go past our stall in order to get to where they are going
>>27536558Mention Jo about that job offer we got. We'd need before we decide to take it or not, but there is no harm in telling jo about it.
>>27536603>>27536602These get my vote, use our major to help us do something and while every one is in shock sing about the food.>>27536558
>>27536569I read it as 2 chemistry, 2 mechanical engineering and 1 philosophy, actually. Unless you're voting, in which case fair enough. > Boxing club (expelled)> Martial arts (expelled)> Study group> A bit of parkour (sounds like you could practice this)> Pubcrawling society (yes, there is a pubcrawling society. You were the Chief Steward, meant to keep people from falling onto roads or out of windows mid-crawl. Isn't university wonderful?)
>>27536638Couldn't we major in chemistry and minor in mechanical?
>>27536659This would be acceptable.
>>27536638Ah yeah messed that up sorryThat is a vote for chem though, I didn't post until the update because I thought chemistry had 3
>>27536664I second this.
>>27536638>> Boxing club (expelled)>> Martial arts (expelled)>> Study group>> A bit of parkour (sounds like you could practice this)>> Pubcrawling society (yes, there is a pubcrawling society. You were the Chief Steward, meant to keep people from falling onto roads or out of windows mid-crawl. Isn't university wonderful?)Do we choose these or is this info about our pass?
>>27536693>You were the Chief Steward, meant to keep people from falling onto roads or out of windows mid-crawl.We were a god damned hero.
>>27536659This is the combination of kingsIt leads to all possible pranks and awesome homebrews
>>27536693> This is your past. THIS WAS YOUR LIFE. And now it's better still. >>27536602>>27536603>>27536616>>27536666>>27536664>>27536659> No worries. Chem major, Mech Eng. minor. > How the hell are you unemployed then!?Within about half an hour, the food hall is thronging with people, and even with your corner position Jo is beginning to make some sales. She points to a batch of bratwursts she made earlier, while you are opening buns with a bread knife. This is pretty soothing work, actually! Zip, open, zip, open... 'Go cut them up and get out promoting!''What? But the buns!''Never mind the buns! I'll handle the buns!' She wheels around. 'Yes, you'd like two?'Well then, a man's gotta do, etc. etc. You cut the stuff up, load it onto a tray, and run out, dodging some crowds and heading for the main central area where people are all gathering. At first you circle the area, trying to find a way to solve your position problem, and then something hits you. There is a strut, holding up some banners and signboards, which is rather loose. The banners and signboards are situated over the central, 'main' corridor of the warehouse; if they come down, then people will have to move left or right, and if they turn left, they will pass your stall. 'May I have a sausage please?' A little girl asks you. You give her three to shut her up while you examine the screws. It won't be hard to knock it loose... but people might get injured. > Knock the thing loose. It's not stones, it's just like some banners. > Dude, don't be a dick, your'e dropping things on a crowded warehouse. > Also, give a sales pitch, and roll d100. If no sales pitch is given, then your attempt to push sausages will be penalised. Start hustling, mates!
>>27536792Maybe we only barely scraped by with a 2.0 GPA and couldn't actually make it in the field?
>>27536760Or we find a new way to cook meth. It's almost like some tv show.
>>27536792We kept procrastinating and sleeping with coworkers.
>>27536792Maybe we fucked up big time? Like, we were a pharmacist who got caught selling painkillers, or a researcher who caused a fatal accident.
>>27536792>> How the hell are you unemployed then!?LIKE A BOSS! Cause we like it!
>>27536792We were lazy and spent more of our time and knowledge playing pranks and making beer than actually applying ourself to workHw else do you expect we managed to spend every day drunk while we were unemployed?
Rolled 93, 3 = 96>>27536792>> Knock the thing loose. It's not stones, it's just like some banners.Can we also get a roll for making sure no one gets injured?
>>27536792>> Dude, don't be a dick, your'e dropping things on a crowded warehouse.dont wanna injure children.
>>27536850Fair enough. You can roll for that. Specify which is which, of course. What are your rolls for then?
Rolled 88, 31 = 119>>27536889First for safety, second for pushing hotdogs.
>>27536904>>27536850>>27536904At least we know they are safe, but good god do we suck at selling, anyone else want to roll?
Rolled 36>>27536792Knock it down quietlyAre you good folk hungry? Do you want some nice thick juicy meat? Come get a nice fresh hotdog, proper bratwurst in every bun. Your choice of toppings and my guarantee you will like them so much you will want to get down and gobble another one down the smart innuendo isn't flowing and I don't want to make a tonne of cheap dick jokes
Rolled 33>>27536792"Come and have our thick and soft sausages. Experience what it is like to have an orgasm from a sausage in your mouth"gotta have the cheesy sausage talk
>>27536929>inb4 arrested for sexual harrasment
Rolled 57, 98 = 155>>27536889
>>27536889Do you take best roll of one each or do you take them in pairs, i want to know before rolling.
>>27536968support a fucking speech if you dont right one.
>>27536968> Oh damn! I'll take this one. > If it's 2 rolls, I'll take the one with the highest total, even if the rolls are ridiculously uneven. Because living on the edge is fun, no? > I'll have to do a little retyping, give me some minutes!
>>27536968>>27536926>>27536923>>27536904>>27536850>>27536840>>27536968> Wait, do you actually brew then? Where do you do that? I'm open to ideas, as long as not too outlandish (you do not own a full microbrewery out in the countryside). While considering whether or not to physically 'improve your sales', you can't really also think of something to say for improving the sales otherwise. This is a vicious cycle! If you can't sell honestly, then like any man with his back to the wall, you'll have to... You loosen the appropriate bolts with your feet to your satisfaction, before walking out into the milling mass of people. 'All right, then, anyone up for some thick, juicy sausages? Your choice of topping! They're thick, snappy and perfectly grilled! Slap a great long sausage between our fresh buns and gobble down the lot!'... To your surprise, this pitch actually works even with the skinny jeans and broad-rimmed glasses crowd! Clearly you've been ironic enough, even though to be honest you were not being ironic at all. The bar's pretty low when you're trying to be cool. Two minutes later there is a loud creak, and then a FWOOOMP and much screaming and excitement as the stand topples and banners flutter and slap down across the central aisle. By then you have managed to get yourself reasonably out of range, but the screams draw your attention nonetheless. What's there to scream about, for god's sake? No one's injured! ... Or is anyone injured? People are turning their attention from you to the incident, and while you're looking yourself you bump into someone. 'Oh, sorry- hello. Would you like sausages?'The blonde woman in a plaid shirt and denim shorts smiles and takes a sample. 'Mmm, they're really quite tasty. Almost as tasty as you're cunning.'Wait, what. > What do/say?
>>27537063Give her the confused look.
>>27537063She clearly wants a sausage, what's the problem?
>>27537063"I am glad you enjoyed them. Care to have another one?"
>>27537063A small setup in our room, we made a still when we were in college by fabricating pieces one at a time then sneaking them out into our houseThen we just built it and had a few smaller barrels worth going at all timesAt most we had a small closet devoted to our side pursuit and we supplied our house with free booze in exchange for our share of rent
>>27537063Keep going with the hot dog puns, and mention if she wants an answer to go a hot dog.
>>27537132I think moon shine would be easier anon,
>>27537063Well I will admit my pitch was good for improv but I wouldn't say I am cunning just based on that
>>27537126This. The D.
>>27537150Moon shine generally needs a larger setup and heatHome brewed beer, wine and a few other things can be done with yeast, water and a bucket if you really want
>>27537161Aw yeah, give her the D.
>>27537161i wonder if op will give us disease for spreading the love.
>>27537213Near future sort of setting like this humans eliminated all STIsBecause when choosing between curing cancer or curing dick rot you know what almost every man ever would choose
>>27537238>Because when choosing between curing cancer or curing dick rot you know what almost every man ever would chooseand its not like woman ever have enough influence to have any say on this decision, so std cure it is.
>>27537132>>27537150> Continue discussing this, I will work this in. I take it you haven't told Jo about it before.>>27537097>>27537119>>27537126>>27537133>>27537154>>27537161You give her a confused look and a smile. 'Hmm? Oh, it was just a bit of improv, not cunning at all. But if you'd like more sausage, well, you could try some more...''I think I will,' she gives you a sly smile and takes a piece, dipping it in mustard. 'Well, if you'd like even more, our stall is just behind there,' you gesture towards Jo's stall. 'And perhaps if you'd like other foods...'But before you can say more, a muscular man comes up and puts his hand around the girl's shoulders, and she throws the piece of sausage on the floor before leaning back to kiss her apparent lover. Well, this is slightly awkward. You step back just as the muscular man breaks away. 'Mmm. So, you're selling here are you? Are you new around here?'Somehow you have the feeling he does not mean to teach you any ropes if you said you were indeed new... > Roll d100 for perception. > What do/say? You can see that the crowd is, indeed, being redirected, and that many more people are now thronging Jo's corner of the stall. She actually makes *really* good bratwursts! The collapsed banners are still attracting lots of attention though. > Holy shit, there must be like 300 or 400 people just out here, many from the young crowd. You have no complaints whatsoever.
>>27537238this would be a funny question asked to us where we would state that he wouldn't be a man if he didn't decide to destroy stds.
Rolled 54>>27537279Give them all the D.
Rolled 73>>27537279I still think she wants it.
>>27537271> Well, not to be sexist, but I think both genders are on agreement that both cancer *and* STIs are quite undesirable. It's not like women don't get infected as well... >>27537203>>27537161>>27537213> Temper thy lust with prudence! Also temper it with a lot of other things. You're in Cloverdene, a relatively young portion of the City, so there's plenty of fish. Actually much of the eastern Peninsula is a pretty young and modern part of town.
Rolled 69>>27537271>>27537238Not to mention that many STDs /do/ cause cancer so you can get two birds stoned at once.>>27537279
Rolled 17>>27537279fuck here is hoping for 80+See what they want and if the lover is up for a threesome.
>>27537279"Not really, I've been here all summer!"
Rolled 12>>27537319>69It would be Hexer who rolls that...
Rolled 83>>27537279try to figure out what they want, and keep flirting.>>27537279Lets make some beer.
>>27537307i unfortunately deleted cum-store guy's photos.
>>27537334I have no idea what you're trying to say, good sir or madam~!
Rolled 90>>27537354Was he the guy who jacked off everyday to fill up numerous milk bottles and them drink them and post them on 4chan?
>>27537354>Fortunately, I deleted cum-store guy's photos.FTFY
>>27537354>cum-store guy's photos.He usually makes a yearly post around Christmas, unless he stopped doing that.
>>27537279Nah, been around here for quite a while. Just generally I am behind the scenes instead of being shunted out front to play monkey for the crowds
>>27537354Heres a consolation prize.i wish the person who made this didn't waste so much space.
>>27537310>>27537312>>27537314>>27537327>>27537352> Incidentally, here's a map of the City, which I've taken again and improved somewhat. You smile. 'Well, I might have been here all summer. Would you know?''I think you'll find we would know,' the woman says, and then slaps his hand away as he makes for her chest. 'So you *are* new, if you don't know Tomas over here.''Would knowing you be of benefit to me, Tomas?' Your mind is already racing, the blood draining into your arms from all the other places where your blood normally drains. (Don't tell me, I'm not interested.) Damn! Holding a tray of sliced bratwurst only hampers you, but you don't really want to throw all of Jo's handiwork away... ... wait a minute. That thought gives you a sudden dread, and you glance over at Jo's stall, still clearly visible from where you stand. The crowds are walking down the aisle, sure, but they're not stopping by hers, because there are two men currently hogging the space. They look like they're arguing with her. Shit. You blink as one of them makes a jabbing motion with her finger at Jo, mouth wide open, yelling something you can't hear. Shit! 'I think it's more like, not knowing me will be a loss,' Tomas says, and moves the woman aside. 'Go get some hotdogs, Kseniya.'> Shit. What do now?
>>27537462Why go when I have more here KseniyaDrop this guy with a knee to the nuts and then the head go ambush the two harassing Jo
>>27537462I want to beat the fucker up, but i don't want to waste jo hard work.
>>27537462Show those ruffians what for!
>>27537462"Dude if you want a fight just hurry and get over with it. If not get out of my face so i can carry on minding my own business."
>>27537462LET'S GET OUR GAME FACE ON!
>>27537496>>27537462This, but instead of the nuts do a throat punchu!
>>27537527We have our hands full with delicious sliced bratwurst though, if we throat punch we lose the tray
>>27537462"What loss would that cause me Tomas? You are disturbing my business with your huge bulk so please move away if you dont wan any sausages."Lets try to getout of this without a fight. worst case scenario we can say at least we tried.
>>27537527>>27537462A throat punch should stop him longer than a kick to the nuts.
>>27537543look>>27536638We were in the martial arts for some time and the boxing club, plus the parkour club probably helped us with out balance.
>>27537462"Would you mind me putting this try down before I hand you your own nuts? Thanks. Oh, and your woman wants me."
>>27537508>>27537496>>27537499>>27537506>>27537512>>27537527>>27537543>>27537550'Oh, a loss? Really? I'm suffering a loss from you blocking my way, so if you don't want to buy stuff, maybe move aside?'Meanwhile you can tell a crowd is already forming around you. Everyone love a good fight these days. Problem being not many want to do it. But certainly Tomas looks like he's spoilin'. 'Look, boy, you put that tray of your girlfriend's sausages to one side, before I slap it out from your hands. I'm giving you a chance. Go on then.'You smile and back off, but just as you place the tray on a nearby table Tomas charges and hits the table, flipping it and sending the tray flying into the air, scattering sausages like meat-based confetti at a wedding of tigers. Jo's work! Son of a bitch! You advance as well, knowing what is now inevitable, but then Tomas quickly turns on you. A fierce wide swing is dodged, a straight punch is parried by both hands with a stinging impact, and then he swings at you one more time, which you manage to sidestep just in time. > Righto! What do? Fight is on! You haven't had a good fight since... oh, it *has* been some time actually. > Whatever you do, roll d100. I don't remember if I used d20 or d100 in the past. But d100 is BIGGER, so we use that.
Rolled 59>>27537649Do the THROAT PUNCHRollan
Rolled 10>>27537649I think a good, old fashioned throat punch should settle his beef.
Rolled 99>>27537649Tomas is kill
Rolled 21>>27537649Throat punch, knee to the balls, and maybe a kick when he's down for good measure. Then go settle the matter with Jo's stand, preferably with fists.
Rolled 61>>27537649When he throws his straight punch, , have the proper timing to throw a hook to his forearm, and follow up with a combination of strikes to the body or to the head by getting in close. Also tire him out.
Rolled 81>>27537649Sweep the legs
Rolled 10>>27537649>Throath punch.That should stop him from doing anything.>Break a kneeThat will put him to ground.>Smash nuts with foot.Make sure you smash them both nice.
Rolled 14>>27537720>>27537704>>27537649>>27537649These sound good, parry his next punch and disable his arm then do a swift kick to the nut causing him to leave his throat exposed then do a throat punch. and while all this is happening knee him in the nose.
>>27537745Basically, fuck his shit.Then again, maybe we should do it with a minimum of damage, if he has to go to A&E then it'll raise questions.
>>27537745>>27537649To piggy back on this do a suplex to make it hurt more.
>>27537699>>27537699o wow, pulled it off, also matching dubs
Rolled 59>>27537649Do this.
>>27537699>>27537662>>27537691>>27537704>>27537720>>27537723>>27537728>>27537745> That's a lot of planned violence being unleashed here.> 99: CRITICAL. Tomas does the classic muscle guy mistake - he thinks he is going to hit someone for sure, because he's big or something, so he puts all his weight into a punch that will break the opponent's everything. Mind you, if his swing connected, it probably *would* break your everything. But it didn't connect, and as you deftly step aside, bracing your foot against another sturdier table, he hampers his balance further by lunging at you and throwing a straight punch. A slow, straight punch, aimed at breaking your facial everything. You grin and, turning aside to your right, lift your left hand to push the fist away from you, knowing he has no leverage to keep it from such a parry. Then, as he steps forward and belatedly attempts to wind up his left hand for another go, you simply raise your right arm and send it barrelling into his throat. PKKRT! Tomas' eyes shoot open, then he spins so you can see his face as he falls. It's a bit like electric shock mixed with cat attack and sudden realisation of erectile dysfunction, you would say. 8/10 for surprise. Then time seems to flow back into normal, and you skip back lightly as Tomas bangs his head on the side of the wooden table and crumples into a hacking, head-clutching heap. Kseniya doesn't rush up like a girlfriend might; she simply looks at you, slightly surprised. Meanwhile you run off to check on Jo, who is already backing past the counter. The two men are advancing on her, and you spot another one coming from her side. Has she seen that other guy? > Attack the two facing Jo. > Yell at Jo to look out. > Go for the flanker. > Other. > Lest you forget, Jo does know how to fight to. Or at least throw a proper punch.
Rolled 61>>27537882>> Attack the two facing Jo. >> Yell at Jo to look out.
Rolled 78>>27537882Go for the flanker, punch to the side of his head.
>>27537882>a bit like electric shock mixed with cat attack and sudden realisation of erectile dysfunctionI lol'd.Anyway, let's run over and take that flanker down. They obviously have no honor, so neither should we,
Rolled 26>>27537882> Attack the two facing Jo.Clothes line one with a straight arm held at neck height.
Rolled 51>>27537882> Go for the flanker.
>>27537882Fuck up the two approaching Jo directly, yell to her to watch out for the asshole at the sideSee if we can't take down one of them with a cheap shot from behind, if we could manage both with a good solid hit from behind then even betterLet's show why we got kicked out of both martial arts and boxing clubs
Rolled 1>>27537882> Go for the flanker.She can handle herself for a minute or two
Rolled 82>>27537882we wreck the flanking guy
>>27537882Were we using a metal tray for samples?Because, you know, if we were, it'd be pretty easy to knock a few IQ points off everyone.Can we loot a piece of broken furniture?
Rolled 49>>27537913>>27537920>awww yisss, guna fuck up some shit>>27537945..dammit.
>>27537938Yeah, that makes good sense actually. Let's fuck 'em up, hopefully Jo can deal with that one guy.
Rolled 27>>27537938Yup, fuck honor this is a street fight.
>>27537953We aren't rolling yet anon its that people forget to take off their dice.
>>27537941YOUUUUHow many rolls does OP take?
Rolled 86>>27537882>> Yell at Jo to look out.>> Attack one of the the two facing Jo.No reason we cant do them both at the same time. We arebehind him, so go and hit the guy in the ear. Then groin if his legs are apart, otherwise punch the right side of the stomach, aiming for internals. That will put one of them down and we'll be up one on one with the other.
>>27537882> It's a draw, 5-5, as far as I can see... > Typing on that basis!
>>27538027You run up, shoving past the crowds which are now also forming an open space around, and position yourself behind the two attacking Jo from in front. Jo spots you before you can warn her about the man on her flank. 'Hey!'Oh, thanks a fricking lot Jo! But then you see it is a ploy as well, since Jo has already noticed the man who is attempting to creep up on her. So instead you rush up behind the two, only one of whom realises she's yelling at someone behind him (how thick are these guys?) and it just beginning to turn. Excellent!You run past the slow one, then lean your entire weight into a high punch, slamming into the faster guy's face just as he's revealing all its chiseled glory to you. Not interested! As he spins, he then crashes into the counter before falling, and a jar of sauerkraut falls on his face with a thud. You have no time to celebrate, though, since the slow guy is reacting. He's a lot faster than you thought! You step forward to avoid a swing, parry another one, but a third finds its mark, knocking breath from your chest and forcing you against the counter. He advances, intent on boxing you in and beating the fuck out of you. > What do? The counter is not that high, about waist height, and lined with glass jars of sauerkraut and squeezy bottles of mustard and ketchup. Oh it's not like you don't know what a fecking hot dog stand looks like!> Roll d100 for any action.
Rolled 59>>27538090Glass him
Rolled 47>>27538090>Squeezy bottles of ketchup and mustard his eyes and then break his ribcage in half with a Foot of Fury.
Rolled 11>>27538090We used to box and know his weakness are his legs, go for those mother fuckers.
Rolled 39>>27538090>>27538124Well those are Jo's stuff...How about we punch that fucker and go on the offensive before he can?
Rolled 52>>27538134>>27538120>>27538090These blind the fucker than go for the legs.
>>27538124Thank goodness I'm not the only other bastard on this thread who thinks it is entirely appropriate to smash a glass into a face while fighting
Rolled 33>>27538090Blind him then go for his legs.
>>27538155There are no rules in a fight, all is permitted.
Rolled 16>>27538155I wanna go more Jackie than Statham, though, hence the squeezy bottles.
Rolled 88>>27538090throw ketchup to face. he'll rais his hands to his face, use opening to punch guts.
>>27538155That's how we do in Great Britain.
>>27538188Sorry, that's how we do in Glasgow.
>>27538216Do what you gotta do in a war zone
>>27538227too fuckin' true mate.
Rolled 62>>27538172>>27538170Go Jackie Chan on him, squeeze condiments on his face and push-kick him back.
>>27538148>>27538147>>27538134>>27538124>>27538120>>27538106>>27538158> 59: Well, ambivalent... You don't really want him damaging the counter or sweeping away all your sauce, so as he advances, you grab the nearest thing to both your hands. You want a sauerkraut jar! Please let it be a sauerkraut jar!But for some reason all the sauerkraut jars have run away, so just as the man comes in range you grab a bottle of squeezy sauce and spray it at him. It catches him by surprise at first, but dismayingly it's only ketchup! Now he looks like he's bleeding but his eyes aren't even stung. Still, it is enough time for you to push out and break his containment tactic. You take a jab in your right ribs like a pro, and another one to your left shoulder, but soon you're too close for him to punch and you spray a long, satisfying squirt of ketchup into his face. As he stumbles back, he somehow still manages to parry your punches, until you manage to blind him properly with another long squirt of ketchup. Then you turn around to see Jo weaving, dodging past one blow and another, replying with a jab to the chin which connects, but then being shoved back hard. She's doing damage, but the guy attacking her is *tough*. > Beat him down properly? > Go help Jo?
Rolled 19>>27538237Punch him in the face and go to Jo.
>>27538216>>27538227Point.>>27538237Make sure that guy won't be getting up for a little while, then go help Jo.
Rolled 88>>27538237> Beat him down properlyOne thing at a time
>>27538237Solid punch to the temple or trachea on the blinded guy, then go help Jo.
Rolled 54>>27538237Let's get our fist to fuck his mouth.
Rolled 27>>27538260this beat the fucker up good before helping joe.>>27538237
Rolled 69>>27538271Fuck, dice roll in wrong box.
Rolled 36>>27538237>> Beat him down properly?Let the bitch deal with one guy. she wwanted this line of job, let her do her part. this is the third guy we take out, she should be able to deal with one.
>>27538298after we take out this guy, i say we stand and watch jo's fight, not go help her (unless things go really bad). she really should take care of that one guy.
>>27538321No, we stand on the sidelines and snipe him with ketchup.
Rolled 84>>27538237>> Beat him down properly?KUBO, BLESS MY ROLL.
Rolled 63>>27538321Or we just grab a piece of scenery and turn his skull into a divot.
Well i'm guessing we are making out to look ridiculous since we just throat punch a guy a moment after we are fighting a guy with a bottle of ketchup in one hand squirting it into his eyes every once in a while.
Rolled 87>>27538237>> Beat him down properly?
>>27538321>>27538237> Finish the guy seems to be consensus!Not much time to waste! You grab the ketchup-ed guy by his collar, and sock him properly in the jaw, feeling something give momentarily under your fist. He lets out a groan, then slumps on his back and turns to the side to spit out a tooth. Your fist has got ketchup all over it; it looks like you've pulled his heart out through his rectum or something. Also, your fists HURT. You didn't think to bring your gloves in today! You weren't expecting to flip hot dogs *and* fight! But then you get up and turn around, just in time to see Jo do something you haven't seen in a while. The guy attacking her lands a fierce punch on her neck, eliciting gasps from the crowd as she spins and lands apparently on her stomach. Fuck!Just as you're about to step up, though, you notice her arms have caught the fall, so she's lying as if in a push-up. Wait, this stance... you've seen a visiting master in martial arts teach this before. The guy comes up, bends over and begins jabbing his finger again. 'You's the kind of stupid fucking bitch who don't know what's good for ya, well I tell you-' He's cut off halfway as Jo's arms push herself off the ground, her feet somehow dance into a wide, low stance, and she throws a left hook that elicits even more gasping. You swear you can *hear* the crunch from here, as her whole body extends like a spring, sending the first right into her attacker's neck. He turns, stumbles a few steps, and falls face down into a sack of buns. Fight's over. You glance around. Yeah, over. The crowds are beginning to applaud, for god's sake. > What do/say? That... that was the Toad Stance!
Rolled 9>>27538403Yeah, i didn't know where to go with the sentence, so it ended up being a mess.
>>27538415> Argh, so many votes unseen while writing. I beg your pardon!
>>27538415Give the crowd a bow, then help Jo tidy up.
>>27538415"Holy Shit! Was that the Frog Stance?" Test her.
>>27538415Now who wants to buy a sausage?
Rolled 16>>27538415Peddle dem hotdogs man.
Rolled 37>>27538415FLEX HEROICALLYIN THIS MOMENT WE ARE EUPHORIC
>>27538415"Nice moves you got."Well, seems the crowd liked the show, they'll probably buy hotdogs right? Sell some.
Dont do anything ridiculous like a bow or a salute or a stretch or anything. Just sell them sausages.
Rolled 98>>27538454>>27538452>>27538483Rolling for GLORIOUS IMMORTAL MARKETING TECHNIQUE.
>>27538483Where's your showmanship bro?Do you even prize fight?You can't not do something after we just fucking wreck a couple of dudes with our fists of fury.
Rolled 54>>27538500We did good.
>>27538504I didnt say do nothing. We'll do something alright. We'll sell hotdogs.
Rolled 3>>27538500Fuck, dat roll. Peddling sausages gets my vote. We could say something like "THESE MEN WANTED TO STOP US FROM DELIVERING THE DELICIOUS TASTE OF SAUSAGE TO YOU. WELL I SAY TO THEM, NOT ON MY WATCH, RUFFIANS!" and do the whole gladiator-type thing where we raise our arms for applause.
>>27538415Toad Stance? She was also trained by a street boxer!
>>27538570>not leaving it at just "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? ARE YOU NOT HUNGRY?"Are you euphoric, Anon?
>>27538570This is very, very silly. Let's do it.
>>27538613>>27538611Wait no. changing vote.
>>27538570>do the whole gladiator-type thing where we raise our arms for applause"Is this not what you wanted? Are you not well-fed? No? Well then, have some delicious hotdogs!"
>>27538415> Got called away for some BS. Just reading your stuff now.
>>27538642> 98: Attention is FULLY DIVERTED to bratwurst. You hurry over to Jo as the crowd closes in, shifting those assailants away. 'You all right?''Nguh,' she mutters, cradling her face. 'My face. *Again*!''How did you know the Frog Stance?''It's the Toad Stance, man-' she catches herself, but too late. 'Well, I had teachers when I was a Günzel.'You frown at that, your euphoria slightly darkened. Surely Joanna is *always* a Günzel. But instead of saying more, you turn around to the crowd which is now looking at you. It seems they probably think you're... a couple of some description. 'Well, people,' you say, 'Looks like someone really didn't want us to sell bratwursts! And I guess there's only one way of showing them who's boss. WHO WANTS SAUSAGES!?'They don't quite reply like a battle-mad Roman crowd, but they do form a line that is very long indeed, and soon you are stuck at the counter slicing buns full time as Joanna turns ze bratwursts frantically. 'Thanks very much,' she says, softly, after some minutes. 'Yeah, whatever. We're doing this together.''You can leave me be and go do something else, you know,' she says. 'The bratwurst won't go faster. I can slice the buns.' > If you choose to stay, we will timeskip all the way to much later when the crowd thins. > Or you can take the offer and go off looking for... whatever you look for, you sex-crazed punch-swinging beast.
>>27538722>not being husbando
>>27538722What sort of time is it now?It would probably be worth catching up with Erica to ask about that job, but if it's still fairly early, stick around here for a while.
Rolled 71>>27538722It'll look a little weird to all those people lined up if we just wander off.
Rolled 75>>27538722Entertain the crowd.
>>27538773Plus we can also take two customers at a time.
>>27538722Tell jo about that other job. After that go find erica and get the details on the job so we can decide if we are gonna take it.
>>27538802we'll probably won't need to bother with it. with how well today's sale is going, we should be set for a week.
>>27538820yeah, but it's got poon and and fucking someone up, two of our three most favorite things.
>>27538820But it is also worth making contacts, and even if we don't take it, it's worth going to find out about it.Still, we don't need to go yet, at least stick around and help Jo out until the rush of customers dies down.
>>27538841after we tell joanna about the job, she'll probably tell to go check it out. so we dont need to be staying.
>>27538820But we do want to help out Erica, and we'd have another contact in her friend who needs some money. But we should help get this queue cleared away.
>>27538799>Plus we can also take two customers at a time.LEWD!!
>>27538869You use a back door on a house. What's the difference?
>>27538891My back door doesn't moan when I open it.
>>27538908That's because it's properly lubricated.
>>27538908You need to move, then.
>>27538772> It's about quarter past 7 now. >>27538773>>27538787>>27538802>>27538820>>27538838>>27538841You look at Jo as she wipes sweat off her forehead. 'Yeah? You're going off now?''The fuck I am, you handle those sausages,' you mutter, and rush back to replace some empty sauerkraut jars. Those fuckers really are going overboard with piling sauerkraut on their bratwursts! 'Also, I have an, um, friend who was telling me about a certain job.''Oh yeah? Thank you! That's $5, please!' 'Thank you! Yeah, was a job about... I don't know, getting back a loan or something...''Thank you! That would be $10, please! Enjoy! That sounds dangerous.''Well, I don't know, I'll have to-' but before you can finish, Jo suddenly grabs you and shoves you towards the grill, exchanging places. 'What?''Serve the next bunch please,' she mutters, and turns around to slice bread. You glance back to see a group of six or seven people, all wearing suits or business dresses and with beers in their hands. 'We'll have, uh... four bratwursts please!''Five, Merton!''Okay, five!' Then 'Merton' looks past your shoulder. 'Wait a minute, is that...'> What do/say? One last bratwurst is still grilling. Jo has clearly met someone who knows her, but until you get five bratwursts you can't send the fuckers packing!
>>27538937Pretend there is nothing unusual and serve them as normal customers.
Rolled 53>>27538937"Where do you fellows shop? I've just come into some wealth, and you chaps look positively spiffing."
>>27538963Too much, but I agree, we should talk to them to keep them distracted.
>>27538937Give 'em four, thankyou and goodbye, oh, my mistake, here's the fifth thankyougoodbyeawaywithyou.
>>27538937"Him? Craigslist ads, man. I wanted a girl, instead I got a crossdressing skank. At least he's cheap."
>>27538937'My little brother, creep. Keep your mouth to your sausage!'
>>27538989This gets my vote.
>>27538937"What about him, ser?"
>>27538963>>27538989>>27538991Yeah. Something ridiculous to keep their mind of what they're about to realize.
>>27538963>>27538989Combine this two.
>>27538989I don't know if the tone came through but this is a great time to vent some roomie/sexual frustration frustrations at Jo.
>>27539090I dunno man, I took it as more because these guys are drinking, and when we were drunk, we thought Jo was a dude, so they might buy it too.
>>27539019>>27539018>>27539013>>27538989>>27538963>>27538977>>27538978>>27538960Well, let's do what you can! You stuff a bratwurst bun into his hand as he's about to speak. 'Well, there's one!''Oh okay. But that girl-''What, him?' You stuff another one in his hand. 'I thought he was a she too when I first saw her. I wanted a girl to help me out, add a bit of charm to the shop, you know?' Stuff a third one! The damned bratwurst won't grill! Don't look at it. It's just like boiling water. 'Anyway, where do you get your suit?''Oooh, Merton, someone finally asks about your suit!' It's a sprightly-looking brunette, actually, hair tied in a power braid, and who then turns to you. 'He got it at Grenville Street. Just like Jonah over here. They make suits to order.'You know what Grenville Street does, bitch. But you grin. 'Is that so? Well, that explains how well they fit then.''Say, Tallie, that guy looks like Johanna, doesn't he?' Merton points out. But before Tallie can say a word, you stuff the fourth bratwurst bun in her hand, and then take the fresh one off and put it in a bun quickly. 'It's a she,' Tallie nonetheless says. 'That's defo a she! Merton, you of all people can't spot a woman when you see one?'For some reason that makes you feel jealous, unjustifiably so. > Bloody hell. What do/say? > Also, it seems the crowds are finally beginning to thin. Maybe Jo can handle the rest from here on out... or you can let *her* free instead.
>>27539090You vent sexual frustration by calling people crossdressing skanks?
>>27539112Well, yeah, it's (not-so)subtle self-mockery and making fun of Jo as well while creating a (kind of) plausible story about how we wanted a girl and when "Jean," got here it actually turned out he was a "Jon," but by then we were already in too deep.Plus it's fun to make fun of friends.
>>27539122>For some reason that makes you feel jealous, unjustifiably so. Did I miss some subtext in this post, why are we jealous?
>>27539124In bizarro-quest worlds I do.
>>27539149I think it implies Merton is good at hooking up too. But so are we.
Rolled 59>>27539149We didn't notice she was a girl till we saw her clit.
>>27539149The joke is that they can tell he's a she, but we couldn't tell he was a she until it became plot relevant.>>27539122"I thought so too when I saw that ass but then when I saw the sausage that lurked just under it I reconsidered. A hole's a hole right, though?"If we can't win by distraction then we'll win by disgust.
>>27539122Just say something about how amazing modern surgery is, and get them to move on.Then when they're gone, we text Erica and ask about the job.We can ask Jo about the whole Merton & Friends thing later when we're in a less public place.
>>27539122"She almost fooled me too at first sight, but i am pretty sure she's actually a he. I had to learn it the hard way.That'll 20(?) dollars, thanks you"If they pay they have to go. There is line of people there.
>>27539207>>27539211>>27539197>>27539175> You're selling sausages, for Heaven's sake!>>27539166>>27539161>>27539150>>27539149>>27539124You glance back at Jo, consider making a horrible joke, but then it occurs to you that you're in the service industry right now. WHY OH WHY ARE YOU IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY? But anyway. 'Well, like I said, Tallie, I thought so too. And I seen women like Merton does I think!' You grin at Merton, who gives you a slightly disdainful smirk in return. 'But no, it's a guy. We're all made different, aren't we just?''I suppose,' she says, and then you close the deal. 'Right, $25 please!'Jo mutters thanks as you serve another two customers before making sure those suits are out of earshot and visual range, and hand over to her. 'Will you be off then? About that job thing?''Just give me a second...' You text Erica asking about the job, and inserting a little flirting there as well, but after fifteen minutes of bun slicing you still get no response. Just then, Jo taps your shoulder. 'Stop slicing, we're out of bratwursts! Sorry everyone, we're out!'Damn! It's only 9 and you're out? You must have lost about 10 or 15 people there. But still, as you glance at the cash box and see it overflowing with notes, it feels pretty good. You help Jo to close up the place, just as someone from the adjacent stall comes up to you, with two plastic boxes. It's a Thai stall, you notice. 'Oh man, thanks! You shouldn't!''No no, take it. Thanks for beating those bullies up. They extract fees from us.'You sigh. Everywhere, these days, people are trying to extort each other, or to make up some 'service' that needs paying for. You take the boxes. It's green curry! Jo grabs her box and sits down, bending over to smell the curry deeply. 'Ahhhh...' then, looking up at you, 'well, you *are* handy with your fists aren't you?'> What do/say to Jo?
>>27539341>"Sure am.">Kiss fists>"I call this one "Cooking LSD And Calling It a Thesis," and I call this one "Jackie."
>>27539341You still haven't gotten a reply from Erica, by the way. But then you can hear music, so she's probably running the concert now.
>>27539382Well, it's not like the vic's gonna extort himself. We can get to it after the show or another day.So, what exactly does Gunzel Industries do?
>>27539406>So, what exactly does Gunzel Industries do?Everything, I think is the answer to that.
>>27539382Piling on, just how dystopic is the city?
>>27539341Enjoy delicious curry."Yeah, but you'd be amazed how many potential employers didn't appreciate my fine punching skills."
>>27539489>>27539470>>27539448>>27539406>>27539376'Yeah,' you say. 'They've got names, all right? This one's called Jackie.''Is the other one called Pikey?''Bloody hell, how'd you know?''Because I boughtmemaacaravan! And sheztrreblipartiatodeperiwinkleblue!'You burst out laughing at Jo's rendition of that old movie. Oh, good old days when they made films like that! The curry is delicious, you have to say. 'So what exactly does Günzel Industries do?''I think it's easier to ask what they *don't* do,' she mutters. 'Those guys were from the consulting branch. So business consulting's a big line. But so's shipping, and pharma, and agrotech, and construction.''Do those guys know you? They must be pretty high up in the hierarchy if they do, surely?''Nah, I just did an internship there. Earlier I was a little stupid and thought I could disguise myself and work in Günzel. It's so big after all, right? But, fucking hell... they rumbled me after two weeks.'You nod. Just then, the phone buzzes. It's Erica! 'I'm just handing over, give me ten, where r u?'Jo begins speaking as well. 'You know, tomorrow, I'm going to take the van and go haul some rubbished smartphones. Just a quick carry job, those things pay damn well these days. There's gold and silver and coltan in them, so...'You glance up at her, mostly thinking about Erica. That girl's got moves. As you well know. > What do/say? > I'm honestly surprised you aren't trawling a market full of tipsy people like a predatory... predator.
>>27539593Jo's job sounds easy enough, so yeah, we can agree to that one.It's going to end in us fighting someone, and we all know it.
>>27539593Text Erica, suggest to meet her somewhere nearby, then we can head over there in a few minutes when we're done talking to Jo.
>>27539634It's a shakedown, not an execution. We roll around with a tire iron or a base ball bat, tell him to pay the cash, if he refuses then we break a knee or beat him senseless or whatever our beau wants.>>27539593"Sounds easy. Can you handle the clean up? I've got a vic day gig about to start.">text back Erica saying you'll meet her near the stage. Probably best to keep Jo and Erica separate.
>>27539693I was referring to the smartphone thing.
>>27539693You got confused there. Erica's friend's is the shakedown.
>>27539715I doubt it. Besides, she can handle herself.
>>27539693>beau>Noun>A boyfriend or male admirer.>A rich, fashionable young man; a dandy.wat
>>27539593We can do prowling later. Tell Jo that job sounds good, we'll join her. Then we go see Erica. We need to take Jo on a date one day.
>>27539593Tell Jo that depending on how soon the person you're going to meet wants this loan collected, you may or may not be around tomorrow, but if you are, you'll join her for the phone thing.
>>27539741Beau. Man.It was a subtly homoerotic way of saying whoever's calling the shots on how broken the vic gets.
>>27539765>>27539753We don't need to babysit or smother her. Damn girl, let a girl breathe.
>>27539792I thought the 'so...' at the end implied she was asking if we wanted to come with.If she isn't, then I guess leave her to do it on her own.
You consider the question. Seriously, you didn't quite think Jo was this much into cutting deals and figuring out angles, but it's nice that she's doing this. Then again, this wasn't quite what you're going to do with your unemployed days. On the other hand, given you haven't been contributing many ideas or much money to the common good, you're beginning to feel like a little bit of a deadbeat. Slacking is fine, but that might cross the line... 'That sounds pretty easy,' you say to Jo. 'It isn't, really, we'll have to find some way to forestall other potential buyers. There's sales happening tomorrow and the day after, but honestly I'm not sure we're well prepared for tomorrow...' she looks worried. 'Then do the one after. And prepare for that properly.''You're helping with that, yeah?''I could, sure. But I'm off to see my friend about the little shakedown.''Yeah go on ahead,' she waves you on, 'I'll clean up, then I'm going to the music field too.'The music field turns out to be a mass of people dancing to all sorts of different music; you heard some pretty indie-sounding rock just now, but now it's all gone very reggae. No complaints about that. Squeezing your way past the bump and grind, you eventually make your way around the stage, and catch Erica locking up a guitar case. She turns around and jogs up to you, grinning in an anticipatory way.'So, how're you? Why have you got bruises?' She says, stepping closer. > What do/say? There's plenty of people around, but they're either cleaning up or also dancing.
>>27539891"Had an argument with some guys about a hotdog."
>>27539891"I asked somebody to ask me about my wiener and they slapped my bratwurst right around. Then I broke their jaws with my hands.Sup wit u?"
>>27539891'Messed some people up properly over bratwurst.' If she doesn't mind, give her a little kiss. 'How about you? Tell me more about the job.'
>>27540030>If she doesn't mind, give her a little kiss.I know it's weird, since we were fucking her in a changing room earlier today, but kissing her seems kind of odd.
>>27540102That's because a kiss is intimate, bending her over like a cardboard box...isn't it.
>>27540137That's it, yeah, I just don't feel like we're really in a place with any of the women we know to go around kissing them.Nothing wrong with that either, not looking for a waifu.
>>27540152>not looking for a waifuYou sure you're on the right board, though?
>>27540181I'm not saying this quest will never involve our protagonist hooking up with someone in a more serious sense, but I know that /tg/ has a bad tendency to rush these things and make shit get really intense really fast.
>>27540196Well, that would be on account of our resident autists who can't tell the difference between a healthy relationship and a cereal box.Not that you're wrong, though. Shit gets weird when the only thing you've done is fucked her once and now apparently that means we're ghetto dating, but the beauty of quests is that we can outvote and/or freeze out the spergs.
>>27540221>>27540181>>27540196>>27540152>>27539949>>27539951>>27540030>>27540102>>27540137'Well, I messed someone up over bratwurst. Guy asked about my wieners and tried to knock those hotdogs. So I broke his jaw.''Dear me! Are you okay?' She reaches for your visible shoulder bruise, and you lean in for a quick kiss which turns into a few quick kisses. 'I take it that's a yes then.''Yeah, mostly. So, tell me about this job you have for me. Is it going to be soon?'Erica first moves the guitar cases over to a very, very goth woman, and then leads you aside, past a bank of speakers against which a couple is making out. It's a good thing those speakers aren't connected, or they'll be deafened if it's turned on. 'Well. The job basically is this. It's one of my friends, right, he lent a sum of money to this guy to run some shows with a band. But that guy took the money and just disappeared. He hasn't been returning calls, but basically we've seen him here and there, so he must be in the City.''Righto. So I find him, and mess him up?''No, not really! Well. If you have to, I suppose. But preferably no. Just make him cough up the 800 bucks. My friend says you can keep any excess if you get it from him, he just wants his 800 back.'That sounds pretty generous, you think. 'So, what else are you doing this evening?' Erica says, and then gestures towards the rearmost warehouse. 'I've got a friend in there who sells necklaces, going to say hi to her...'> What do/say?
>>27540287"Sounds easy. Next time you see him send me a text and I'll get it done."I haven't made up my mind yet. We sold out at the cart after that weird thing with all those banners happened and then some thugs tried to shake down a couple of vendors. What's cool in the area?"
>>27540287That sounds good. Depends what we can squeeze out of the guy, right? Ask about the friend who sells necklaces.
>>27540287Tell her we don't really have any plans for the evening, and go check out the necklace selling friend, always good to meet more potential contacts.
>>27540347>>27540348> Right, just a couple more posts for today, I believe. Thanks for fighting and playing!'Hmm, well that sounds pretty easy. So are you going to be my eyes and ears?' You watch as Erica takes out a cigarette from her pocket and lights it. 'Hmm? Well, I can tell you if I see him, he sometimes hangs out around clubs and bars. But I'll tell you, sure. So what're you doing?''I don't know, it depends what's cool around here...''Well, I'm going in to see Alexis, that warehouse sells some interesting trinkets and stuff. So if you've got a girlfriend to tend to, or whatever, that's one place to consider? Or just gifts in general?''She's a regular, then?''Yeah, been here a few months now.' Draaaag, Puff. 'Or you could just listen to the music. They've still got acts lined up all the way until midnight, and it's only 10 now, so there's much dancing to be done! I'm actually famished, but most of the food stalls are closed by now aren't they?'> Head to see Alexis. > Bring Erica to try and get food. > Let's head off to see Jo instead. > Other.
>>27540499Food, fighting and fucking and I dont believe we grabbed any Bratwurst
>>27540499"I maybe saw a couple still serving, but we got a big crowd because of the throwdown. Nobody was really expecting that sort of draw.I need to walk the bruises off. We can swing by a cart and you can eat and we'll check out the vendors in the market or back alley or whatever it is."
>>27540543>>27540551> Right, last post for today. @Stratocumulus1 for details, as usual!> Any questions, suggestions, etc. welcome. Again, this is a game where the MC's constantly trying to work angles, so player plans and ideas are awesome and will be considered. 'Hmm, well, I don't mind going to see Alexis,' you say, rubbing your chin. Come think of it, you kinda need a shave now. 'And then maybe we can get some food over in the warehouse? The fight was a big draw, so I don't know but they might still be open.''Heh, didn't think you could draw business with your fists, eh?' Erica grins and points you towards the warehouse, still smoking. 'I think you'll like Alexis. She's a bit of a freelance person herself, really, loves the spare time, doesn't really like being locked down in an office.''I think these days there aren't offices for all of us anyway,' you say. As you enter the warehouse and walk over, though, you soon spot some familiar faces at what is probably Alexis' stall. It's Merton, and his bunch of friends and consultants. 'Hello there, you're the bratwurst man aren't you?' Merton points at you as you get closer, and Erica seems a little baffled. 'What're you doing here? And where's your assistant?'Damnit, man. > What do/say/ignore?
>>27540728fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Not these corporate tools again.Been fun, though. I had an idea about printing off fake ID cards for high schoolers to get their drank on, but I don't know if that's feasible in this setting.
>>27540765> That's been noted, actually. > Facilitating the access of underaged people to alcohol, or indeed of people in general to psychoactive substances of most sorts (the drug laws in the City are crazy strict), is a possibility. The risk is considerable, but the reward is of course high. > If you want more information on certain communities within the neighbourhood you can work on, feel free to ask. In general I can say that the neighbourhood is quite commercial, and has a beach park and some big shopping districts, and other parts of it are young with plenty of students, etc. > All in all, Cloverdene is reasonably wealthy by Peninsula standards, but there's pockets everywhere of course.
>>27540728"I was going to buy a bracelet to go with the suit I'm going to buy that's just like yours. And I don't know where he is, why?"
>>27540807What would happen if we...tried to get a real job?Certainly in the grimdarkness of the 21st millennium, there's at least one job a chemical engineering major can work without getting a face full of porkchop or megacorp.Hmm. What about rolling around the local bars? Most of them are full on pubs with their own distilling and brewing gear. Maybe we can put our education to use by combining our passion of copper stills and getting sloshed.
>>27540883The hell, that sounds like work, steady paid work.>unemployment questYou read the title right? We just want to fuck and fight, preferably just fuck.
>>27540902How bout if we sell the booze we made, then?And then ditch the pimp hat for a fedora. Also, how are the gangs in this area, is crime rampant?
>>27541017>unironically suggesting a fedoraAre you euphoric?
>>27541716No, he is just on OkCupid
>>27541755I think I gagged on my own disgust.At any rate, we don't have the cash to support any sort of profit-making brew. Not to mention we'd be dealing with the pigs pretty quick. That's why I suggested a pub alternative.