It is dusk. The last traces of sunset come in through the thin arched windows in the top floor of the True Cronen royal palace. The bright stars of The Captain begin to come out and shine down on the city below. The velvet curtains are open, but the crown prince is not enjoying the view, because he has burst into golden flames from the inside and is gasping his last on the tastefully carpeted floor.Some time later, a pale, trembling young maid runs through the halls of the third floor, throwing open every door she passes, already hoarse from shouting. "Fire! There's a fire!"Behind the last door she's thrown open is the king, sitting with his feet propped up on a footstool, reading a broadsheet and taking his evening toddy. He gives the girl an exasperated look. "Stop that immediately. You're making a damned fool of yourself.""But there's a-""I heard you the first time, girl. There are proper channels for such reports. What if I'd been entertaining company? You'd have spoiled your king's whole evening.""But wouldn't-""Pull yourself together, fetch the court wizard, then find Wallis and tell her I gave you a disciplinary warning. And while you're out, fetch me another hot toddy."
The crown prince is dead. The city-state of True Cronen is in deep shit. Your first choice is which member of the household you'll be playing. Your quest is probably to sort out all this spooky magic murder shit that's going on. If you select the murderer, your quest will instead be to not get caught. The maid who just got scolded The king A humble butler The senior maid The king's surviving son The ambassador from the Commonwealth, True Cronen's only neighbor, who will probably be blamed for all this. The captain of the guard The Queen Consort, the king's young tart of a trophy wife The court wizard The king's spy/torturer The freakishly disfigured royal jester
>>27357077WE ARE A PRETTY MAID
>>27357077> The king's spy/torturerCould be interesting.
>[X] The ambassador who will probably get blamed for all of this
>>27357077 The king's spy/torturer
>>27357077Let's go for something new and exciting>maid
>>27357077> The king's spy/torturer
>>27357077Gonna have to go with maid. Can't not pick a maid
>>27356979[X] The freakishly disfigured royal jesterSounds challenging to play, so this is my choice.
>>27357077[X] The freakishly disfigured royal jesterThe best thing about the jester is that he can generally say what he wants without getting executed.
>>27357077 The king's spy/torturerSpook time.
I like how the votes are almost perfectly divided between grimdark murderboner and 2moe4u animu waifu.Never change, /tg/. But seriously, please change. Maybe just a little?
>>27357077You know /tg/. You know it must be Maid.
Oh yeah, and some general rules: When you're suggesting a new course of action, whatever seems the most popular or interesting will get picked. When you're selecting options from a bulleted list, feel free to resort to rolling d% or checking dubs. If you need to roll to see if an action succeeds, I'll tell you; don't just roll for that automatically.
>>27357077 The king's spy/torturerSpies are cool.
>>27357077>>27357206>Never change, /tg/. But seriously, please change. Maybe just a little?Alright, then.>Maid
>>27357077Going to go with Maid because fuck murderboners.
>>27357077 The maid who just got scolded
>>27357077After reading the bullshit in the QTG, Maid for spite
>>27357077[X] The court wizardUNSPEAKABLE POWEEEEEEEERS.
OP, since maid and spy/torturer seem to be winning by a landslide, I suggest doing an anti-samefag poll between the two.This is done by presenting the choices like so1. Maid2. Spy/Torturerthen people have to quote your post with either 1 or 2 in their post and nothing else. The anti-flood system prevents individuals from reposting the exact same thing over the course of five minutes, so it's incredibly difficult to stuff the ballot.Naturally, anyone who doesn't follow the>>postnumberVoteformat should be ignored.
>>27357286Invisible characters say fuck you.
>>27357295Can't you just copy and paste into word, like with rigged dice rolls?
>>27357077> The maid who just got scolded>Offering a Maid optionOh you poor fool, there is only one way this ends...
>>27357305Not easily, since body text that's not displayed isn't copied directly like the email field. You'd have to do a Page Source check.
Rolled 23>>27357286How about 1d100?Rolling for spy.
>>27357328Rolling is terrible.
[x] The maid who just got scoldedSeems to be a divisive opinion, but extremely popular. Let's do this.You name is Columbina, and you don't have a surname because you are pleb trash. Your family were longshoremen who arranged to have you educated by saving enough to give the Maiding Guild a suitable bribe. You've tried to make the most of their sacrifice, and you've recently received the ultimate in appointments: serving in the Royal Palace itself. You seem to be doing a shit job of it, though.Next choice: during your apprenticeship, when you moved from house to house under the supervision of your teachers, cleaning bedpans and doing all the other undesirable work dumped on you, what method did you choose to practice? being friendly and cultivating relationships with your employers, even at the risk of speaking out of turn hiding in plain sight, which can also be extremely useful.
>>27357370>Hide in plain sightWe are the shy maid
>>27357370Aaaand I'm out, Jester was clearly the superior choice.
>>27357370> hiding in plain sight, which can also be extremely useful.
>>27357370>You name is Columbina, and you don't have a surname because you are pleb trash....FUCK.[X] being friendly and cultivating relationships with your employers, even at the risk of speaking out of turnI remember when Oliviera threw a brush at me because I was "too obnoxious". Fuck that bitch.>>27357394See ya. I wanted Wizard but such is life.
>>27357370>hiding in plain sight,
>>27357370>ColumbinaIt's us. We're the killer.
>>27357370 hiding in plain sight, which can also be extremely useful.
>>27357370>[x] hiding in plain sight, which can also be extremely useful.you can't be friends with people who can have you executed for shits and giggles
>>27357370[X] being friendly and cultivating relationships with your employers, even at the risk of speaking out of turn
>>27357370[x] being friendly and cultivating relationships with your employers, even at the risk of speaking out of turnKohaku mode engaged.
>>27357370[x] hiding in plain sightAll your teachers, and most of your fellow students, gave you the same advice: don't get noticed. Do exactly what is asked of you, don't even give them a reason to know your name. If they don't notice you, they can't punish you. And you tried, you really tried. But shit, this building is on fire!You sprint through long corridors and spiral staircases until you reach the court wizard's quarters. They have their own wrought-iron staircase that leads up to an observatory on the roof, but fuck it, you're not going up there. You pound on the door. "Your eminence? His Majesty requests your presence immediately! He needs you to put out a fire!"Nilssen, the court wizard, arises lazily and opens his door with a grumble. He does most things with a grumble. Without a word to you, he shuffles in his half-fastened robes out the door and toward the stairs you just went up.He'll probably be able to put out the fire. Like all wizards, he knows the secrets of the stars and constellations and can request their favors. The trouble is, there have been a lot more people learning those secrets lately, and a constellation can only help one person at a time, so magic has been getting less reliable since the time when court wizards were the stuff of legends. You remain worried.Next choice! Tell Wallis, your immediate supervisor, that the king gave you a disciplinary warning, like you were told to do. Don't. Who's going to notice in all the confusion?
>>27357571>[X] Tell WallisWe beta and truthful.
>>27357559we hisui now>>27357571> Tell Wallis, your immediate supervisor, that the king gave you a disciplinary warning, like you were told to do.Hope that he brushes it off because it is not important.
>>27357571>[x] Tell Wallis, your immediate supervisor, that the king gave you a disciplinary warning, like you were told to do.mention it briefly, likereallyfuckingfastandunderourbreath and then yell about the fire
>>27357571[X] Tell Wallis, your immediate supervisor, that the king gave you a disciplinary warning, like you were told to do.
>>27357571Tell the truth
>>27357571[x] Tell Wallis that the king gave you a disciplinary warning.You're not sure exactly where Wallis is. She's been a maid here longer than anyone else, and she wanders from place to place, bossing around not only maids like you, but also butlers and even some nominally higher-ranking people. There's no malice in her, though, just occasional exasperation. She's never raised her voice to you, but she frequently gives you looks like you're just the worst.You find her in the kitchens, eating an excellent-looking dinner. "Wallis, ma'am?" "Not now.""But... His Majesty told me to tell you that he gave me a warning for bad behavior.""Again? Captain's Cock, what did you do?""I...er... raised my voice. Very loudly. Because there was a fire.""No kidding. How big?""Very big. It might be on the whole top two floors by now."She continues eating. "Huh.""Also, I need to bring His Majesty a hot toddy. Can I get into those drawers under you?"She reluctantly shuffles out of your way so you can get at where the liquor is kept. "Careful now. This from the king will be your second warning. One more fuckup and I'll be expected to make an example of you."People seem to be taking this fire extremely well. What do you do? Bring the king his hot toddy by the most direct route possible Take detours o the way up to warn the servants you consider friends
>>27357827>[x] Bring the king his hot toddy by the most direct route possiblewarn our amigos on the way back
>>27357827[x] Bring king his hot toddy by the most direct route possibleThe king is my top priority and I don't want to get scolded for taking too long.
>>27357827>[x] Bring the king his hot toddy by the most direct route possibleWe can't fuck up again.
>>27357827[X] Bring the king his hot toddy by the most direct route possible
>>27357827>[X] Take detours on the way up to warn the servants you consider friendsNeed to get to know the layout of the palace, do we not?
>>27357827 [x] bring the king his hot toddy by the most direct route possibleYou bring the heated cocktail back to the king's study on a silver tray by the most direct route possible. You pass by some guards and a butler you know who seem none the wiser to what's going on.When you reach the king's study, he's not there any longer, and the door's been left open. Where could he have gone? You've got to get him his drink before it goes cold or you could be flogged or worse.You try his bedroom. He's not there.You peek out the window to look down at the front door and the courtyard. Maybe he escaped the palace. You see no evidence to that effect.Maybe he's in the guest bedroom where the Queen Consort officially stays, for the sake of propriety. Nope. That room gets little use anyway.What if he's upstairs where you saw the fire? Fuck, are you going to have to go up there? You suppose so. As you climb the stairs, smoke gets in your eyes. You're afraid that it will make you sick. You try holding your sleeve up to your mouth to filter your breathing. This is not how you thought your evening would go.The smoke is nigh-impenetrable in some of these hallways, but you don't see the glow or hear the crackle of flames. Good, the court wizard must have succeeded. Soon you hear the sounds of shouting to guide you.They lead you to the crown prince's room - or what remains of it. The wall and part of the ceiling have been utterly destroyed, letting in the moonlight and the fresh night air. All the furniture is in blackened ruins, but the smoking floor seems safe to stand on. The king and Nilssen are standing there, pointing and yelling bloody murder at each other. The king is justifiably angry that his palace had been defaced, but you've never seen him like this. Could it be something else?Oh, of course. There's a charred corpse at your feet. It's the prince. You were the last one to see him alive.Roll d100 to not completely freak out. Also, what do?
Rolled 98>>27358120politely inform the guard of dead royal son
Rolled 76>>27358120Give the king his hot toddy.
>>27358204SMOOTH OPERATIONS ENGAGED.And yea, second. Be suitably frightened but matter-of-fact
Rolled 3>>27358120Give the king his hot toddy, as instructed.We shall complete our maidly duties, corpse-strewn floor or no.
>>27358204I'll take this 98 and go with >>27358258>>27358226
>>27358204You've been terrified for much of your life. This is no different, you tell yourself. You've got to be one cold-blooded motherfucker if you want to survive. Bottle that shit in! Maid, do your duty! Never mind that you're pretty sure that crunching sound just now was you stepping on the prince's hand by accident.Normally you'd be expected to set the tray down somewhere, but there's no furniture left remaining intact and upright. So you're going to have to be the furniture. You stand a convenient but inoffensive distance away from the king, hold the tray out primly, dig in your heels, and wait."It was those self-righteous Commonwealth bastards, I'm sure of it! They haven't forgotten! I bet they know!" The king snarls."They don't know; nobody knows," Nilssen answers."How did they even reach this room? Did some damn coward wizard shoot a spell all the way from outside the walls? Are they still here?""Some enchanted object smuggled in, I'd surmise. The smuggler would be long gone by now.""I don't care! I want this place locked down! And get the ambassador here! I'll torture him so hard he forgets how to be a lying little shit!""I'll take care of it."The king finally notices you as the wizard departs. You startle him a bit. "Oh, it's you. Bloody hell, how long have you been there?" He takes his toddy and drinks it with all speed.You say nothing. You just smile.Someone else seems to be on their way to warn the guards, so you can do something else if you want.
>>27358485>You say nothing. You just smile.Damn we're COLD.I think we should organize cleanup? And new furniture, stat.
>>27358485go gossip with the other maids
>>27358485I'd say take a walk through the palace. Collect our thoughts, see the sights, think what to have for dinner. That sort of thing.
>>27358575>>27358625You withdraw and leave the king to seethe over the death of his son. Time to spread the news, you suppose.You sleep in a shared suite with all the other common maids, and they're often found there socializing, so that seems like a good enough place to start breaking the news. You find three of the other four maids on call sitting on the floor around the stove, heating some big pots of water. They smell you before they see you.Esther, the one who graduated the guild at the same time as you, wrinkles her nose. "What is that? Oh, hi, Columbina. You smell like smoke! Like, so much smoke! What happened to you?"You explain the whole story and suggest that cleanup should begin soon.Petra, a maid of maybe 30 years with a permanent wheeze, gets all emotional when she hears that the prince is dead. "I think I'm going to be sick..." She excuses herself from the room, sniffling. The others seem game to help you They turn off the stove and head to fetch some large dustbins, mops, heavy brushes, and spare furniture. They hope to impress Wallis by taking care of business without having to alert her. They go with or without you. Outside the suite, you hear heavy footsteps, probably the guards moving to cover all the exits. Tell Wallis about everything Go with the other girls to do the heavy cleanup Clean yourself off and change clothes so you no longer smell like a bonfire
>>27358905>[x] Tell Wallis about everythingJust give her the cliff notes.prince burned to death. me and the other maids gonna go clean it up. brb>[x] Go with the other girls to do the heavy cleanup
>>27358942You used to wonder how Wallis can be as cold-blooded as she is, but tonight you think you've gotten a taste of why and how she manages to do it. You catch he cleaning up her late dinner."Wallis, ma'am?""Hmm?""The prince died. We're gonna go clean up.""Have fun.""They're locking down the castle.""You have anywhere to be?" She quips."No, ma'am.""Off you go, then." She's probably going to turn in for the night. Her shift is over, anyway.You head back up to the top floor to join your fellow maids. They're starting by hauling away ruined furniture, curtains, and other items from the rooms that don't contain a murder scene. You help them for a while, do your best, and nearly exhaust yourself. You figure that it's good that people probably can't smell you sweat under all the smoke.Suddenly, you feel an armored hand placed on your shoulder. You turn around with a squeak. The captain of the guard is there. "Columbina, right? We have reason to suspect you in the murder. You need to come to the Tradesman for questioning."By the Tradesman he means the Right Honorable Master of the Guild of the Unspeakable Trade. You've never seen him, but you've heard the stories. Visits from him do not end well. You may be well and truly fucked.(Well, I think I might call it a night. Next time I won't have such a late start. Anyone have a preference as to when you'd want to pick up again?"
>>27359200Thanks for running. No preference since I'm GMT anyways.
>>27359200oh just do it in early evening