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  • 4chan turned five 4 4/4 years old yesterday, October 1st 2008

    File :1222864472.jpg-(48 KB, 453x604, 1218046494979.jpg)
    48 KB Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:34 No.2711290  
    Humans are awesome, continued from >>2709630 and >>2710711
    >> parable one !!HfL9M9xslOG 10/01/08(Wed)08:36 No.2711297
    god damn you, I need sleep.
    that second one, is that archived?
    that's all I ask.
    >> Fapanon 10/01/08(Wed)08:38 No.2711304
    Yes, god bless sup/tg/.
    >> parable one !!HfL9M9xslOG 10/01/08(Wed)08:38 No.2711306
    also, future-talk for "emo" is "blorn."
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:38 No.2711308
    And I'll put it all up on 1d4chan sometime this week.
    But damn it, I need sleep.
    And to finish this thesis...
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:39 No.2711310
    Social insights into Human technological and cultural development

    My lords, though it seems as if "the humans" are diverse, fragmented groups and therefore a weak target, I must urge you to reconsider. Our own singular culture has gone unoppressed for millenia, thanks to the systematic removal of "undesirable traits". Thus, we have been in stagnation without much growth at all. It appears that over the last millenia, humans have gone from a group of primitive beasts to... well, primitive beasts that are able to use sophisticated tools with frightening ease, as well as being able to manufacture as such.

    Rather than their diversity being a weakness, it is a strange strength- each group plays off against the other, boosting technological and cultural gains in leaps and bounds.

    My lords, attacking this race would be folly; indeed, we might think of imitating some of their characteristics to remove ourselves of this period of stagnation we are in.

    I hope this finds you well, XXEIM [4,25th timescale]
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:40 No.2711314
    y'know, we could re-write the entire fluff of Star Thugs and use that as a basis....
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:42 No.2711316
    you already posted this in the previous one, which has already been archived...
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:43 No.2711318
    Who says humans are adaptable, or resourceful? Compared to what? Isn't it just circle jerking to say that?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:43 No.2711321
    You know humanity is badass when one of their elderly members is attacked by a deadly predator, and promplty reaches into its mouth and rips out its goddamn TONGUE.

    >> parable one !!HfL9M9xslOG 10/01/08(Wed)08:44 No.2711326
    we've survived in every environment we can think of, and have made do with the scarcest of resources. I think we deserve a pat on the back for that.
    >> parable one !!HfL9M9xslOG 10/01/08(Wed)08:46 No.2711329
    yeah, but Africa is like Dark Sun. everyone rolls higher stats.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:46 No.2711330
    It's a viewpoint widely supported by the member of my group with a microbiology degree, at the least.
    When compared to animals in a system-by-system basis, we're hardass.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:47 No.2711335
    You're a persistent one, aren't ya?
    What we're talking about is alien perception of humans.
    Given the fact that we're assuming we make it into space,
    we assume that our innate capacity for violence and the hazardous conditions we evolved in do not endear us to the rest of the galaxy.
    >> HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)08:48 No.2711337
    Compared to all the other races found in this new and original /tg/ homebrew setting.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:50 No.2711347
    goddamnit I just posted in the second thread. oh well, reposting.

    Our intestines house microbes that- if one manged to get out to the rest of our body- would make our existence as living organism forfeit. These microbes exist to make it easier for us to pass waste.

    One theory about how Jesus died was that he received a bruise to his heart after he fell down while carrying the cross. Due to having his arms up in the air, he could not breathe as easily so his heart worked harder and harder to pump blood throughout his beleaguered body. The result was the bruised skin of his heart being punctured. Our bodies can and will readily betray us and kill us off.

    While it is possible to suffocate or bleed out on the Crucification cross; it is also possible to die due to pain.

    Did I mention we have enough nuclear devices to utterly decimate the crust of our planet several of tens of thousands of times over? Further proving that weapon technology will always outstrip armor/protection technology; we have no real methods of stopping the majority of the delivery systems for these weapons.

    Did I mention that 30 years were spent with 2 countries with most of these nukes just glaring madly at the other while giving each other the finger and trying to out-research the other? 2 countries out of 192.

    And now we're playing with a device that some think could create black holes and kill us all. Some (possibly unreliable) say it could destroy the entire universe, even.

    On that note, one of our greatest fears with our first atomic device was that it could cause a chain-reaction and destroy our atmosphere. Yes, we did test it anyway.
    >> Fapanon 10/01/08(Wed)08:52 No.2711351
    Says god-damned motherfucking EVOLUTION! that's who.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:52 No.2711353
    Both of those fears are largely unfounded.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:52 No.2711354

    Further evidence, #6 on this list.

    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:53 No.2711356
    It'd be funny to turn this on it's head, now - put humans as the ONLY potentially diplomatic species in a galaxy full of ravening angry folk, and have them build a giant empire simply because they're good at manipulating the other races into attacking their enemies because they look like bigger threats.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:53 No.2711358
    And suffer penalties for starvation and common diseases, then?
    >> Fapanon 10/01/08(Wed)08:56 No.2711366
    Drs. Warren and Marshall isolated the bacteria responsible for stomach ulcers, but the wider scientific community maintained that stress, lifestyle and general whining were the real cause. Dr. Marshall countered with the little known "frat party" method of science, declaring, "I'll fucking show you" and drinking the vial of filthy bacteria they'd culled from the stomachs of ulcer suffers.

    He was positive he was right before he drank it, and when he immediately developed gastritis with achlorhydria, nausea, vomiting and halitosis he was damn sure. We're talking absolutely, positively, "coming down from a mountain and founding a religion" sure.

    "Why, yes, I do regret drinking stomach poison."
    In true movie-style, this was a daring experiment that broke all the rules--right down to the first rule of biology labs: "Don't drink things in the vials here." Suitably impressed, the Nobel Prize committee awarded him and Dr. Marshall the prize, and presumably some breath mints.

    So what could be more disgusting than that?

    This is the most awesome scientist EVAH!
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:58 No.2711374
    That is pretty much how it ha always been in fiction thus far.

    We are the best diplomats.

    Don't fuck this over with that crap now.
    I'm suck of having humans portrayed as weaker in everything.

    Let us be the warrior race in this thing.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)08:59 No.2711380
    Space Captain Smith and its sequel, God-Emperor of Didcot have awesome humans. The great British Space Empire rules the galaxy with a stiff upper lip, good moral fibre, and tea.

    The second book's all about tea, in fact. The Ghast Empire are attempting to take control of Urn, the world where most of the Empire's tea is grown! Only SPACE CAPTAIN SMITH can save them, with the aid of his space hippie psychic half-energy-being girlfriend, his ex-sexbot pilot, and his "colonial" friend, Suruk the Slayer. Together they rally the native Teasmen to take back the world for the Empire!

    The tea must brew.


    It's a good series. Bloody funny at times, and it has the French (teaming up with Gertie).
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)09:09 No.2711408

    Hooray, someone else who's read those books!

    They're pretty legendary.
    >> part 1 HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)09:31 No.2711473
    They're coming for me..
    They've killed the rest of my brood, slaughtered them all with... Fire, fire that comes from the tools in their hands. I collapsed a portion of the rock-wall to keep the from me, but they know I'm here. I didn't seal off the tunnel. They can see me around the debris. Soon they will kill me.
    I've spent a lot of time here, in this brood-ship. I helped carve it out of the living rock of my homeworld. We knew that we wouldn't live. We knew we wouldn't come back. We had hoped it wasn't so, but still we knew we must give our lives for the hivecluster.
    We came here to study the species responsible for destroying so many of our worlds. We are still several hundred light-years away from their source, but we have intersected a wave of signals coming from their planet. As best we can tell, this wave was caused by their attempts at long range communication. Judging by the speed of the signals and the distance from the source, these signals are hundreds of years old! I have been studying these signals, and through them, their culture for long enough to have molted twice now. We stayed to long, and the humans found us. Why haven't they come through to kill me yet?
    >> part 2 HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)09:33 No.2711479

    "Why haven't we gone through to kill it yet?" The private was irritated. He didn't like these bug-holes. This was the last living bun on the whole damn rock. He just wanted to blow it and get out of here. "Hell, we could just vent our atmo in there, gas him like the bugs they are. I think we should have done that in the first place."
    "It's Dangerous, just sending some grunt like us in here. We don't know what we might run into." Agreed another private.
    "Yeah, look at Jerry, he got bug juice all over his pants!" The group of men all laughed. Truth is, this was cake. Bugs never could put up a fight, and barely could even crack open the armor on a EVA suit, let alone the combat gear they had on.
    "Shut up. We have orders, we follow orders. And right now, we need to get ready. The Captain himself is coming down here. He wants to see the bug. The men all fell silent. When the captain got there the charges were set, and the men saluted.
    "At ease. Sargent, blow open this hole. I want to see this bug up close."

    >> part 3 HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)09:33 No.2711485

    They sure took their time... I know they set up their blocks of fire. They waited for what seemed like cycles, until another human came in from their ship. After that, the wall exploded. This is it. Time to go with honor.


    They are not killing me. The new human has come close to me. He is unarmed, but even so I know that he could kill me, with his hands, with his legs. But he does not strike. He says something, and I don't quite get it. I have studied the humans for a long while now, but I still was shocked to hear it speak in person.
    I took a breath, and an insane idea came to me. It's worth a try, after all, the worst that can happen is that they kill me, and I am already prepared for that. I think hard, and recite the human greeting phrase I learned.

    >> part the end HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)09:34 No.2711489

    Every Jaw was hanging open. The Captain was confused, and horrified. The men all began talking at once.
    "Did... that thing just FUCKING SPEAK?"
    "Yeah... I think it said...No way.."
    "But they aren't even sentient!"

    They all fell quiet, and the alien repeated itself.
    "C...can..I b-b-buy you a b-b-beeeeer?"

    The Captain let out his breath. "Shit."

    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)09:36 No.2711498
    Hope this have some sort of good end...
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)09:37 No.2711506
    Cue horrible guilt for killing other sentient being?
    And cue peace between the two species?
    >> Dagda !hTbo821v7U 10/01/08(Wed)09:47 No.2711556
    People get hung up on the obvious with humans- that they could digest us, that they're filled with acidic liquids, and so on. But frankly, that has nothing to do with what makes them dangerous.

    I employ no hyperbole when I say that humans are addicted to adversity. It sounds bizarre that evolution could lead to such a thing, but my years of research have inevitably led me to this conclusion. They poison their food in order to render its consumption pleasurable, use deceptive statements in routine discourse, and experience intense amusement when presented with overtly paradoxical concepts. When engaging in cooperative enterprises, it is the laborers who are pitied- the decision makers are envied, their positions seen as rewarding. Contrary to popular conception, they do not enjoy war; but their aversion is borne out of fear of collateral damage and resource consumption, not the stresses of the various intellectual and physical challenges that such conflicts pose. Indeed, rather than the apocalyptic effect such challenges have on most societies, human cultures thrive on them like a pheonix does on the flames; progress in times of war actually accelerates on all fronts, social, technological, and so on.

    We all know of their tenacity, but I am far more disturbed by two virtue concepts that humans hold in high respect: "love" and "hope". The former has seen some discussion in public media as of late; a form of instinctive, unconditional blood oath ingrained into all manner of social relationships. But the latter is even more terrifying; it is the conscious, irrational choice to focus on improbably optimistic potential results. I can't make this shit up.
    >> HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)09:47 No.2711557
    This is based on the earlier thread's idea about a captain who saves a xeno race that was being attacked by a different alien race, all because of of the first xeno race's members bought him a beer one.

    Combined with an earlier idea of the humans raging through space killing everyone and everything , then suddenly stopping for no known reason. I figure finding out that their foes are thinking beings works for that. It doesn't stop humans from still being the badass enders of worlds as all the aliens perceive them, tho.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)09:48 No.2711562
    Fuck, the second one started autosaging too? I hope that one got archived as well
    >> Dagda !hTbo821v7U 10/01/08(Wed)09:49 No.2711563
    Also: Read http://tailsteak.com/archive.php?num=110. You can browse the story using the lower set of arrows.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)09:51 No.2711574

    Puts me in mind of David Attenburough, famous for his documentaries of the natural world.

    One a year the greatest scientists and naturalists in the world get together at a summit. Attenborough was scheduled to give the openign speech and give out several awards. As he was preparing to speak a man came from the sidelines and spoke to him.

    In front of a completely packed convervatory holding the best and brightest scientific minds of the generation he stood up and announced over the microphone, "Thank you all for coming. I apologize, but there is a volcano erupting in Hawaii and I need to go see it."

    He left to applause.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)09:54 No.2711585
    Just because they speak doesn't mean humanity would stop killing them. Look at our weeaboo neighbours.

    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)09:54 No.2711589
    In all my years serving the Senate as a herald, nothing has inspired confusion and fear in me more than human "sports." While many of them seemed to be simple games, I was shocked to find that some were, simply put, humans savagely beating each other for the sake of savagely beating each other. I've heard rumors that there are similar competitions using live weaponry.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)09:55 No.2711591
    In 1929, Werner Forssmann was a surgical trainee who wanted to learn about the heart. Unlike other wimpy doctors at the time, instead of learning about it from books or dead animals, he went for the more classic investigatory approach of "poke it with something."

    Without any supervision, advice, or regard for that concept you call "survival," he cut a hole in his arm and pushed a catheter all the way up the limb and jammed it into his still-living heart.

    A female nurse had volunteered for the procedure, and while he wouldn't risk anyone else (perhaps shouting "Dammit, it's too dangerous!"), he needed her to hand him the necessary surgical tools. So he laid her on the surgical table, gave her a painkiller, then performed the procedure on himself while she wasn't looking. That's right, this guy shoved two feet of cable into his own cardiac system as a sleight-of-hand trick, thereby permanently upstaging David Copperfield 27 years before he was even born.

    He then walked--WALKED, mind you--with a tube hanging out of his fucking heart like some kind of price tag to the X-Ray room and presumably said "Hey guys, check out what I just did."
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)09:58 No.2711596
    I like Master of Orion's take on humans. We're the diplomats, but everything makes sense in a brutal "all must die" sort of way.

    Humans are diplomats, where the base strategy is research essentials and trade for tech, pit races against aech other, hope a few whip each other out, and buy yourself enough time to buy an asskicking fleet and commit universal genocide, or become voted to the head of Space UN, or wipe out an extra-dimensional threat...I think transcendence also can occur.

    All of these options are generally horrible when you consider the cost to get there, but the truth is, everyone's just as resource hungry and genocidal as the rest. It's just a matter of who can access what resources, and how aggressive they're going to be.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:00 No.2711599
    It's worth mentioning that multiple times in our history, people have managed to survive wounds that should have been lethal. I'll see if I can find the name, but I remember that there was a marine who had been shot over ten times, with multiple shots to the head, multiple stab wounds in his arms and had been hit with shrapnel (is that the right word) from a grenade. He was taken to a military hospital, he was declared dead on arrival with a quick glance only to have him cough up blood onto the doctor who had just declared him dead.

    While that is most definitely an extreme example of what we're capable of, the fact that it happened should be enough to make human toughness legendary in the galaxy.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:00 No.2711601
    One thread might have some interesting points, two would be pushing it, and three is just calling out for sage because there's only so much circlejerking a fa/tg/uy can take.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:03 No.2711611
    Well, you've followed the conversation around through three threads so far, so I guess I can see why you would be sick of it.
    Maybe there's some other site that can commiserate with you about the Elven Holocaust/fursecution? This thread is for Homo Sapiens, the biggest baddest monkeys in this jungle made of stars.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:06 No.2711622
    Have to say, pretty decent story.
    Got some more, maybe for when they save the xeno to repay them for almost killing them?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:07 No.2711624
    It's only three threads because there's been enough demand to create a new one. It's petering out in this thread, so it'll probably be the last, and you can get back to your skub.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:07 No.2711625

    Ah right, I get tired of constant LETS MAEK HUMANS MORE AWESOM circlejerking threads and so I must be a furry.

    Have some more sage with your BAAWWWW WHY DOESNT PEOPLE KNOW IMMA AWESOM
    >> HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)10:09 No.2711632
    Hope. Yes, brood-brother, Hope is what makes the humans dangerous beyond everything else. No species in this universe can cope with it, none of us can destroy it. Even in war, humans are terrible foes, a handful of them able to stave off hundreds of our warriors. But even when the numbers our on our side, even when we are able to whittle them down one by one, hope makes them continuously dangerous. A lone human, backed into a corner, is more dangerous than a whole platoon of humans near one of their ships. That lone human will, against all odds, often charge into our forces! He will defeat many of our forces before dieing himself. We have never been able to capture a human in combat, and we have never seen a human surrender. Even our attempts to paralize them with various chemicals have failed. We injected what would be a lethal dose (about a human measurement "gram") of C8H10N4O2, a known poison, only to find that it made the humans more lethal in combat! It wasn't until after the war we found out that C8H10N4O2 acts as a stimulant, and is present in many of their beverages.

    [[here it is worth noting that humans backed into a corner during the war were probably members of their military caste, and that they did not believe that we would take prisoners, as they did not believe us to be sentient. Human history has shown us that many humans will accept surrender, but only against overwhelming odd guaranteeing complete defeat. even in odds where victory will result in massive losses, the humans still fight. Their belief that victory in combat at the cost of a large percentage of their numbers is... frightening.]]
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:23 No.2711694
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:43 No.2711779
    I've heard that it's common practice in human society to have only one breeding partner. Disgusting, isn't it?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:45 No.2711791
    I was going to rage over the "no human surrender" until I read the last few lines. Still, think this is a bit OTT for humans. Come on, NO human simply gives up when out of ammo and surrounded?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:47 No.2711799
         File :1222872461.gif-(44 KB, 800x380, 047.gif)
    44 KB
    I honestly dare you to find a scientist more fucking insane than this one.
    >> HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)10:49 No.2711806
    I'll write more as I can. Right now I'm having trouble continuing without proper names for the setting, the different species, etc. I'm reading the first thread now, I actually missed it.

    Humanity is an interesting case. Certainly they could defeat us within a few cycles if they wanted to. They could probably defeat every other sentient race we know of, even if we all banded together for defense. Luckily, the Human race is not a single entity. Many humans have no or very little connection with others. Their warrior caste is not as plentiful as we once believed. Many of their number are competent at fighting, but they work for themselves, not for the whole. They are led by a group called the "government". The government makes rules that the other humans are supposed to follow, but not all of them do! The government has to enforce these rules with the warrior caste. The warriors are dedicated to their government. We estimate that roughly half of the ships, weapons, and individual humans are directly controlled by the government, while the others are called 'civilians'. After the great wars, the government is the organization that stopped the conflict and started the current policy of peace with us. The civilian people are sometimes very violent however, and all humans are very quick to anger!

    When you meet a human, take note of their coverings. Some have the symbol of their government. You can be sure that most of these humans will not attack you unless provoked. if they donot have this symbol, you would be wise to be wary. The 'civilians' may be friendly, they may be neutral, or sometimes they may even be violent. some civilians will attempt to engage in trade, others will attempt to kill, even without provocation or reason!
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:49 No.2711810
    Would you, if you were convinced they weren't sentient?

    I sure as hell wouldn't, since it seems a much better idea to just take as many as possible out with me.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:50 No.2711819
    This hasn't been mentioned yet?


    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:50 No.2711820
    Well, it's been proven many a time that if a person is backed into a corner, they are far more likely to fight than surrender. Surrender is not instinctual, and while we as humans can overcome those instincts, it's still not natural for us to choose surrender over a last stand.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:53 No.2711833
    Obviously humanity is the sole shining star in this galaxy of retards you've invented. So alien empires don't understand oxygen? Love? Fighting a war with bad odds? They've supposedly had a history, and clawed their way up to dominate the galaxy, and they can't comprehend the concept of hope? They've dealt with a wide variety of different alien species, but something that drinks alcohol is WHOA SHIT FAR OUT MAN? And there's 3 whole threads of this self-gratification bullshit? Fuck you, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:56 No.2711841
    You're missing the point.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:57 No.2711848
    Hell, if I was unarmed and facing troops with sharp teeth, my death would be freakin' useless and painful. I'd hide instead of running out screaming (though if there was no place to hide, I might...)
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)10:59 No.2711857
    I have recently made a discover which shows that our understanding of the Terrestrials societies are far from accurate. Up until this point, all documents have referred to a "Warrior Caste." But my most recent study has revealed that very few human societies actually function on a Caste-based system. I have discovered that the human warriors are, in most cultures, volunteers. The very thought of someone willingly joining the human war societies fills me with great curiosity and fear of what goes on in their minds.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:01 No.2711867

    What exactly is the point then? Humanity isn't awesome if you put it up against a bunch of easy opponents. "Alien" doesn't mean "Moron".
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:03 No.2711875
    You know even from a purely biological standpoint humans are prety top tier on earth.

    Strength : Prety impresive for our size if properly trained.

    Vision: Top notch, only a few animals have better daylight vision then humans, birds of prey and horses are good examples. Night vision is shitty but thats why we don't hunt in the night time, we go around in the day when all the nocturnal animals are sleeping.

    Endurance: Not many animals have the long term endurance that humans have. Only wolves and horses come anywhere close to our level of physical stamina.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:04 No.2711882
    All of them understand oxygen, where the crap are you getting that one from?

    In regards to the other claims of not understanding things like love, hope and the like. Yes. Yes it's entirely possible that they might not understand these things. Things that aren't human won't think like humans. While not sentient, most animals do not have concepts of love or hope, so why is it so very hard to imagine that an alien race might not have concept of these things either?

    As for the whole beer thing: Think about it, we're WILLINGLY consuming poison for our own enjoyment. Doesn't that seem a bit insane? Now imagine that you're from a society that knows that this is poison, and has never had similar traditions.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:04 No.2711885

    See you don't realise that the fact is that the dumbfucks contributing to this thread don't realise that.

    It's just like every fucking tv series/comic where humans are the only ones who have complex characters, as opposed to one-dimensional alien cutouts.

    As someone already said, this thread is just neckbeards trying to make themselves feel better.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:05 No.2711891
    No, but alien in this case does mean non-human. Now, tell me, why would a non-human's mind work just like a humans? Why would they automatically understand the same things we understand?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:09 No.2711913

    Why wouldn't a society advanced enough to invent space travel have the concept of inebriation? You pull up comparisons to Earth animals, but animals aren't sentient. Another sentient race might not THINK like us, but it would have the capacity for THOUGHT and would be able to at least abstractly comprehend what other sentients are doing and why. I'm assuming this for the races described in this thread. Why? Because otherwise communication with them would be completely impossible and thus it would be impossible to render their communication into text understandable to a human.

    And the oxygen thing is from the first thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:14 No.2711936

    Why would they be unable to at least abstractly comprehend basic concepts? "Group cohesion": I can't see an advanced spacefaring race not understanding this. "Mating instincts": Also not difficult to understand for biological creatures. "Ingesting small quantitites of toxic substance to achieve a euphoric effect": Nothing difficult there for a species with any kind of reward mechanism built into their biology. Et cetera. This shit is gradeschool level.

    Alien species would be truly terrifying if they really couldn't understand any of this. It would be impossible to communicate with them or understand or predict their actions. The only way such a situation would be resolved would be with the total extinction of one or the other species.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:18 No.2711954
    You know when you see someone else do something clever and go "Damn, well why didn't I think of that?" That's what I'm saying this is. Their development does not need to mirror our own, and we may have explored concepts they never thought of and vice-versa.

    And again, what's to say that their minds would work in a way where they just don't have concepts of things like Love or Hope? Why does everything have to think just like humans? It's entire possible that these are emotions that they just can't feel, and thus, the concepts of them would confuse them even if they did take time to try to figure out just what Hope or Love is.

    Or do you seriously think that sentience that mirrors humanities own is the only possible form of sentience.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:23 No.2711979
    There is a difference between understanding something and having an abstract concept of it. They could know that love is part of the human mating ritual, but be totally confused by what love is beyond that. Same with hope, they could understand the concept but that's as deep as the hole goes.

    And seriously, if you found a group of people that drank let's say mercury by the glass and got a buzz off it, wouldn't that seem strange to you, more so if you found out that it was still poisonous to them, albeit not as poisonous to you. That's what this would be like. It's not that they don't why we do it, it's the idea seems stupid to us to willingly ingest poison.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:23 No.2711980
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:24 No.2711989
    Right. These are things the aliens presented here understand. They just don't understand why we do it.
    As I see it, your complaint stems from the fact that this is all a 'circle-jerk' for humanity.
    What we're trying to do is to explore possible views of alien life as they see humanity.
    If you don't like the way we're doing it so far, you're more than free to post how you think it would happen.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:32 No.2712035
    Begin transmission::
    To date, my mission has proved fruitless.
    I have scoured all available sources pertaining to their disgusting method of producing offspring. While being horrific in its lack of efficiency, I have yet to find the tangible evidence of a key qualifier for human mating.
    My vision-stalks have withered from exposed prolongation to the bestial recordings of the act of human procreation. My tendrils dulled reading the datasheets describing the biological methodology. I have searched their history, finding only that even these creatures do not know how to produce a tangible shred of this essential aspect. They debate and they describe, but reach no concensus. I tire greatly in this mission, and long for the spore-baths to soothe my ills. Yet until I find tangible proof that this 'love' exists, I remain firm that it does not exist.
    :: end transmission.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:48 No.2712128
    Clarification: Aliens understand Oxygen. But humans requiring Oxygen to live is as incomprehensible to them as a species breathing zyklon b is to us.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:51 No.2712145
    OP of first thread here. Jesus Christ, Anon! Good job.

    I'm going to finish my commute and then post the shit I wrote this morning.
    >> HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)11:51 No.2712149
    A History of Humanity
    by Crex'la Veshnole, Historian of the Yurilt

    First, Humanity had no contact with the other races. They developed inter-stellar travel, allowing themselves to begin expanding. The first human settlements were commercial endeavors, then when the number of settlers increased to a point the Human government was formed. Centered on earth, the government began connecting the settlements, and providing protection from other humans who became pirates, praying on their own species.
    First contact for them was achieved by The Collective, or as the Humans call them, the 'Bugs'. Unfortunately, first contact happened as a Brood-ship of the collective experienced a calculation error. They did not expect the planet Sol III to have such a powerful magnetic field, a field that disabled most of the passengers on the brood-ship. It crash landed on Sol III, in a part of their world near a military training facility. One member of the crew managed to activate a propulsion field to reduce their decent, saving the ship and surrounding area from total destruction. The Collective's rock-crystal based technology was mostly destroyed by the impact, but the passengers survived. The humans watched as the delirious passengers crawled out of the ship. The passengers died, poisoned by the oxygen in their atmosphere.

    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:57 No.2712184
    Ain't Zyklon B a nerve gas?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:58 No.2712192
    One of the points of these threads is that the people who talk about "OMG aren't humans great they're so smart they became the dominant species on the planet with no physical advantages, just intelligence!" are silly. Humans have major physical advantages - see the previous comments on how they are the goddamn terminator and can follow prey for days until it literally collapses and dies.
    >> HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)11:58 No.2712193

    The humans did not know what to make of this. This was their first encounter with an alien race. Human scientists could not find any form of technology as they knew it in the brood-ship. seeing the acid production and manipulators of the insects, they concluded that the large rock was naturally formed, with the 'bugs' forming within it as larvae. It wasn't until later that humanity became concerned with this race. A human colony was decimated by one lone human, who, having gone berserk, killed the rest of his friends, then took a walk in vacuum.

    When the human government sent a military vessel to investigate, they found the a group of the Collective has taken the colony. The Collective was only there to study the humans, but the military saw them as responsible for the deaths of their civilians. The First of the Great Wars began shortly after that.

    Humans usually killed any part of the Collective they encountered in space, their ships armed with powerful weapons. It wasn't until one ship attempted to board and capture a brood-ship that the humans realized that their foes were sentient.

    This was what ended the last great war.

    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)11:58 No.2712195

    That's the idea.
    >> HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)12:01 No.2712214

    During the last great war, humanity mad contact with several other races, as the Collective began to petition their allies for assistance.
    A Vuux warship mistakenly attacked and destroyed a Terran colony ship, after hearing of how horrifically powerful the humans were. By the end of the last Great war, The Vuux Homeworld was wiped clean by humanity.

    Our own race, the Yurilt, encountered the humans as we sent our ships to the aid of the Collective. Our forces were decimated. Humanity seemed to be a race of insane murder machines. Rather than just blowing our ships apart, they preferred to board our ships, sending INFANTRY into our capitol ships!

    Even the relatively unarmed Trade Combine got involved, after A group of humans... Human civilians... STOLE one of the trade combine's ships. Notice, that even while their military is busy in war the civilian population is capable of incredible feats!

    After the great war, the Human race fell back for several earth-years, not expanding any further. Very few races interacted with them during this time, as nobody wanted to go anywhere near "Humanspace", near the 'demons of war'.

    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:03 No.2712226

    'ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!


    ...I mean, FUCK YEAH, HUMANITY!
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:04 No.2712233
    >Clarification: Aliens understand Oxygen. But humans requiring Oxygen to live is as incomprehensible to them as a species breathing zyklon b is to us.

    different anon here. the problemn is, you'e treating the very idea of "alien" as a one-way street.

    Why shouldn't an alien breath zyklon B? It's an alien. It is nothing like us BY DEFINITION, so why should the differences be considered unusually startling? I think that's what the other anon is being annoyed by.

    and yeah, only caught snippets of the dicussion so far, but I see the other anon's point. All you're doing is reversing type, saying that humans are unique because aliens don't have something that humans do. And while that makes for some amusing tidbits, it's really not a good way to go about the whole aliens thing.

    Finding a better way to do it, unfortunately, means a big messy discussion about how the mind works and how individuals and groups view the world. blah.

    For good aliens, I like PETER MOTHERFUCKING WATTS' Scramblers; highly intelligent, utterly non-sentient, attempt to exterminate humanity because they perceive sentient communication as, in effect, a biological weapon.

    You gotta admit, that's pretty goddamn alien.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:04 No.2712234

    Except that every possible view winds up as HUMANS ARE GRRRREAT!

    It's all a bit bizarre, like some form of attempted reinforcement of self identity.

    Considering that every (and I mean EVERY) novel (or bit of fluff) has a human as either:
    a) the plucky zero-to-hero who impresses everyone and against all odds changes the world
    b) the withdrawn hero who has unimaginable power but will only come forth to change the world when the mood strikes him
    c) the wildcard in a plan who though sheer luck and bravado foils the evil plot and saves mankind/the galaxy/the universe

    It's all a bit too much. As some others have said, it's all really just about insecurity.

    There's a lot of haet for the so-called 'superior' races like elves (eldar for 40kfags), but in every scenario the supposedly superior standing is simply a device for making players feel good about somehow emerging triumphant against the odds, even though their opponents weren't actually superior in the first place.

    'Superior' races are set up so that players can feel good about humans defeating 'uppity xenos scum'.

    If these races were so superior, how is it that the humans keep winning when it matters?

    It's not that the humans are badass, it's simply that the enemy is made out to be superior when they're actually severely hindered due to game rules/plot.

    tl;dr humans didn't/don't win against the odds, they're just knocking down fall guys
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:06 No.2712245
    Where the hell are you from?
    We're from Earth!
    Where you come from
    Do you put the kettle on?
    Kick it
    Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah
    Nah Nah Nah Nah
    We're Humans
    We're gonna smash one more than you
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:06 No.2712246
    Great, looking forward to this.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:07 No.2712250
    >Except that every possible view winds up as HUMANS ARE GRRRREAT!

    ...I think that's the general thrust this brainstorm is aiming for, so it's not real surprising that that's how it works out.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:09 No.2712265
    I often think that "ork", "orc" etc. is code for for "Fuck Political Coirrectness. Humans conquer and enslave the universe while drinking, smoking and being totally unashamed of it"
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:10 No.2712274

    Thank you for not bothering to find out what we're trying to discuss and only reading the first line. You're a real credit to /b/
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:10 No.2712276
    So Humanity won't enter the fray again to pay back our debt to the species we almost slaughtered?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:11 No.2712287
    This is why humans terrify the xenos scum: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QR2zXbg5fP0

    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:11 No.2712288

    We're da Ummiez, and we're da biggest an' da baddest boyz around!

    We'll smash yer 'eadz in and loot yer shit!
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:12 No.2712295
    Finns. In. Space.

    Also, Space Toyotas.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:13 No.2712300
    >Thank you for not bothering to find out what we're trying to discuss and only reading the first line. You're a real credit to /b/


    Not everyone has the time to read ~600 posts on a weekday night, much as they might like to. We can only judge from what we see. And now, Scramblers.

    magine you're a scrambler.

    Imagine you have intellect but no insight, agendas but no awareness. Your circuitry hums with strategies for survival and persistence, flexible, intelligent, even technological—but no other circuitry monitors it. You can think of anything, yet are conscious of nothing.

    You can't imagine such a being, can you? The term being doesn't even seem to apply, in some fundamental way you can't quite put your finger on.


    Imagine that you encounter a signal. It is structured, and dense with information. It meets all the criteria of an intelligent transmission. Evolution and experience offer a variety of paths to follow, branch-points in the flowcharts that handle such input. Sometimes these signals come from conspecifics who have useful information to share, whose lives you'll defend according to the rules of kin selection. Sometimes they come from competitors or predators or other inimical entities that must be avoided or destroyed; in those cases, the information may prove of significant tactical value. Some signals may even arise from entities which, while not kin, can still serve as allies or symbionts in mutually beneficial pursuits. You can derive appropriate responses for any of these eventualities, and many others.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:13 No.2712303
    >>2712300 cont
    ou decode the signals, and stumble:

    I had a great time. I really enjoyed him. Even if he cost twice as much as any other hooker in the dome—

    To fully appreciate Kesey's Quartet—

    They hate us for our freedom—

    Pay attention, now—


    There are no meaningful translations for these terms. They are needlessly recursive. They contain no usable intelligence, yet they are structured intelligently; there is no chance they could have arisen by chance.

    The only explanation is that something has coded nonsense in a way that poses as a useful message; only after wasting time and effort does the deception becomes apparent. The signal functions to consume the resources of a recipient for zero payoff and reduced fitness. The signal is a virus.

    Viruses do not arise from kin, symbionts, or other allies.

    The signal is an attack.

    And it's coming from right about there.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:14 No.2712305
    dammit, don't stop now!
    This can't be how this ends, can it?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:15 No.2712308
    Dat kinda orky
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:17 No.2712315

    That is partially where the idea of 40k orks was spawned from.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:18 No.2712317
    Yeah, and the rest of the inspiration for orks is what happens AFTER the match, when the brawling starts.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:19 No.2712324

    So, in other words, 40k orks=people in the future among other aliens.
    >> HiddenKrypt !kbKrhQTmts 10/01/08(Wed)12:19 No.2712325
    I might have more writefaggotry for you guys later, but right now I have a party to get ready for. I'll keep my eyes on the archives for this, and if it goes to yet another thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:20 No.2712329
    After the Match? you mean during the Match
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:21 No.2712335
    You know instead of humans as the crazy warlike brute maybe humans are "the swarm" IE there are billions of humans on earth. Thats alot of fucking people. Maybe other races are limited to millions or maybe just hundreds of thousands. They are the size of elephants or whales and can't understand how such small creatures could posibly be intelegent.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:22 No.2712340
    could you at least tell us if humanity gets to come out and fight again?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:23 No.2712345
    I like Dave Campbells latest series:

    The hero is a survivor of the first battle of the Great Intergalactic War between two human faction.
    At the time and now his faction has no contact with alien the other faction might. But the authoir has aliens in them having humanity space gate technology, or rather Novabombs with a travel option. It is unknown wether humanity has knowingly contact with aliens however.
    But is rather openly hinted that both the great war and the gates are employed as crowd control by the alien to trim back or exterminate humanity for their warlike ways (and/or the other faction trying to pull a fast during first contact).
    Anyways some century or so later he rescued and through some betrayals on part od the enemy (killing the admiral in charge of the fleet that picked him up), him being still listed as active on the navy list thus being older in grade than anybody else he winds up in charge of the fleet.

    To discover:
    -Tactics have devolved to rush the enemy. Mostly by having anybody with tactic education killed off and ships being lucky when still existing after two years of service.
    -Said rushing is justified by invoking his name.
    -What Rules of War ? Dusting planets, shooting PoW the works.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:26 No.2712354

    You mean Salted Bomb spam?!
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:26 No.2712356
    It's gone slightly downhill in books 3 and 4, but it's still not bad. Hopefully the fifth book'll be good and humanity'll get together to beat up some aliens soon...
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:28 No.2712371

    I wish I could understand your beautiful alien language.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:35 No.2712406
    What the fuck, humanity? What, seriously, what?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:36 No.2712413
    >I wish I could understand your beautiful alien language.

    "salted bomb" refers to an enhanced-fallout nuclear weapon. cobalt jackets are bolted to the nuke, which does nothing for the yield but increases fallout exponentially. Good for making blasted wastelands of drifting ash that will never know the sweet touch of life again.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:38 No.2712419
    Only in ancient times.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:40 No.2712424
    You.. do know that paper is still made out of mashed up trees, right?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:41 No.2712426
    oh GOD, /b/ has just doomed us all
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:41 No.2712428
    Hence why people refer to some comics as DEADTREES.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:46 No.2712461
    Why do you think the Doomsday Device was probably a Giant Salted bomb or cluster of them. A sickening idea.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:46 No.2712462
    Mostly kinetic weapons. Used liberally.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:47 No.2712468
    You heard about humanity's obsession with the process of reproduction? They use art, literature - they use every existing form of communication and media in order to display their strange fascination with copulation. Not only that, but they combine the process of reproduction with other fixations that they possess - inflicting pain on one another while copulationg, copulating using a bodily orifice other than the one designated for such a process - the list goes on without number. It's as if each human has its own idea of what their process of reproduction should be like. Can someone please explain why these creatures are fascinated by the prospect of such a simple biological process?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:54 No.2712497
    >Why do you think the Doomsday Device was probably a Giant Salted bomb or cluster of them. A sickening idea.
    what, you mean in Dr. Strangelove? Yeah, it's a cheery thought, innit?

    >Mostly kinetic weapons. Used liberally.

    RKVs for the WIN.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:54 No.2712502
    So mass drivers and Asteroid drops?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)12:55 No.2712504
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)13:01 No.2712536
    RKVs are just plain nasty, but take up far too much energy for their payload. Stick to stuff like biological weapons or Von Neumann devices, which pay for themselves.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)13:10 No.2712576
    a Bioweapon can backfire and VonNumans are a bitch to use... just hope it doesn't go off too early or you're fucked
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)13:25 No.2712671
    >RKVs are just plain nasty, but take up far too much energy for their payload. Stick to stuff like biological weapons or Von Neumann devices, which pay for themselves.

    RKVs are fast, which is the best thing a weapon can be. There's no way to intercept, shield against or dodge them, and you sure as shit can't fight or cure them after they've hit.

    Worth every penny.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)14:26 No.2712970
    You do know that by the time we're EXPLORING SPACE we'll have moved beyond paper, right?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)14:32 No.2712994
    Maybe, maybe not. I mean, look at BSG. They still use paper quite prominently.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)14:35 No.2713015
    Why DOES Moot want to be the little girl?
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 10/01/08(Wed)14:36 No.2713025
    If you need to ask, you will never know.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)14:38 No.2713030
    I mean, has he ever given any personal reason?
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 10/01/08(Wed)14:42 No.2713060
    Wishing to be the little girl is not something you decide. It is only for a destined few.

    It is his destiny.
    >> Mask of Winters !!5tEp50WeGgS 10/01/08(Wed)14:44 No.2713072
    Wouldn't he have been, y'know, born a little girl if it were his destiny?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)14:46 No.2713082
    What will we be using to write on then?
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 10/01/08(Wed)14:48 No.2713089
    See? You will never understand.
    >> Mask of Winters !!5tEp50WeGgS 10/01/08(Wed)14:52 No.2713112
         File :1222887146.jpg-(23 KB, 350x232, asshole.jpg)
    23 KB
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 10/01/08(Wed)14:52 No.2713113
         File :1222887146.gif-(14 KB, 450x450, Science.gif)
    14 KB
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 10/01/08(Wed)14:55 No.2713124
    I cannot train you.

    You are impatient.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)14:56 No.2713136
    If he was born a little girl it wouldn't make any sense WISHING to be the little girl, now, would it?

    Also, RKVs as I said ARE very surekill weapons, but the amount of energy getting them up to speed could probably be used to settle a couple of colonies. Not to mention you need quite a bit of room to accelerate. And the target's infrastructure is gone. Best used on wholly unsalvageable and utmost deadly targets.
    >> Old OP 10/01/08(Wed)15:11 No.2713215
    I've figured out why humans are the way they are, it's their lengthy gestation period. I was serving in a freelancer company out by the [Horsehead Nebula], and one of our ground-pounders was a human. So, we're sitting in the belly of a dropship, all worried about the thundering explosions outside when we get the red signal. It's time to fight. We're doing final diagnostics on our suits when our squad-head shouts, “Are you ready?” And the human shouts back, “I was born ready!”
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)16:09 No.2713558
         File :1222891774.jpg-(240 KB, 1280x1024, 1194220629550.jpg)
    240 KB
    From the first thread:
    >I'm now imagining an entire human division >throwing up the horns before diving into battle >with the foul otherworlders.

    >That and tanks equipped with massive banks of >speakers blasting AC/DC and KISS as sonic >warfare. The aliens are surrendering and >whimpering, and their captors are headbanging >as they direct them to the back of the lines.

    I'm suprised noone's posted this in response yet.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)16:51 No.2713839
    Well, shit. This is like, almost exactly the topic my book was about. I'm gonna keep writing it anyway, and say you guys stole my idea. kay?
    >> Amazing 10/01/08(Wed)16:55 No.2713863


    Put your tentacles/claws/appendages in the air, or we WILL put on Iron Maiden.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)17:07 No.2713917
    How about if humans turn out to be one of the longest lived races?

    Other races live shorter lives, giving a slightly faster boost to their tech levels and get to space in a shorter period of time, so they avoid using up all the resources on their own planet before managing to get off it. Humans manage to do it in a longer scale of time, so end up one of the longest lives races.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)17:50 No.2714115
    You are now hearing Row Row Fight da Powa

    Human theme http://cgi.4chan.org/f/src/gurrenlagann.swf
    >> Old OP 10/01/08(Wed)17:55 No.2714145
    I keep listening to this while typing for these threads:
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)19:05 No.2714537
    Here's a random idea:

    Other races in the universe have developed racial empathy, telepathy, hive minds, or otherwise some kind of non-physical communication. Because of this, they all assume that everyone else in the universe speaks truthfully, because you can't really lie to someone who can read your mind or emotions as easily as your words.

    Enter humanity, who is the only race to NOT have psi-powers of some kind. While other races find such mental loneliness almost crippling, humans are used to it, and therefore, bring the ability to lie, cheat, and otherwise bluff their way across the universe. Humans are the only race in which lying is an accepted part of society.

    This immediately places humanity as premier diplomats, as their negotiation skills cannot easily be countered. Without psionic contact or intensive observation and study of human communications, alien races have almost no way of attaining an advantage in negotiations.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)19:10 No.2714565
    Pretty sure I've seen stuff along those general lines. Here's the issue. Let's say the aliens realize this about humanity, which they will eventually. Such a fundamental difference will lead at least some of the aliens to conclude that human is fundamentally psychopathic and/or insane, and needs to be purged, or at least strictly contained. How do you get around that?

    Cause I mean, if I were a psychic race that didn't even have a notion of lying in my society, and I ran across a race of people who kept telling me false things... I'd assume they were all evil or defective.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)19:45 No.2714759

    The easiest way to get around the "purge humanity" problem is to have tech parity among the major powers. You can't easily purge a group that's of the same military might as you.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)19:47 No.2714768
    Since we assume humans are so badass normally compared to these aliens, how would they react to the GRIMDARK humans of 40K and similar universes? What would they do should they encounter, say, an Eversor assassin?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)19:50 No.2714786
    >humans diplomats


    the entire POINT of this is for humans to be badasses and NOT the diplomats/underdogs for a change. asshole.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)19:52 No.2714793
    The Eversor's heart would explode, as it is no longer in a universe where living things can have that many combat drugs.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)19:58 No.2714819

    Star Trek has human diplomats because they're pacifists.

    My idea is that humans are diplomats because we're naturally a bunch of conniving bastards who will shank your mother in the back, hold a bloody knife, and say "He did it."
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)19:59 No.2714826
    so? it's still humans are diplomats, lol! we've had that! we've had that too much! I'm tired of that!
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:01 No.2714837
    So basically this whole thread can be summed up with:

    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:03 No.2714843
    Humans: We will pierce the heavens with our drill!
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:10 No.2714865
    From the human perspective, we are of course completely normal. It's that alien race A. thinks we're this and alien race B. thinks we're that.

    Though if you go by Pratchett, one thing aliens agree on is that humans are crazy (but that's usually followed by "*humans and all alien races but mine are crazy*")
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:10 No.2714868
    Man, there's a trope for everything. Screw tvtropes, sideways.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:31 No.2714960
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:34 No.2714986
    By the time they notice there is only a handful of them left stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:35 No.2714996

    I have to agree with this guy.

    You see humans every day. Why on earth would you want a fictional setting with humans and not something more fantastic?

    Humans in power armor or full plate I can stand, but shit, playing an ordinary joe when you could play something much more awesome (like ANYTHING from World of Darkness) is just silly.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:35 No.2714998
    The funny thing is that for the first long while it will work
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:37 No.2715005
    GTFO you self hating humie.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:37 No.2715010
    so... it's either A. humans are special or B. humans are the baseline.

    I'd prefer to go with humans are special, myself.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:39 No.2715018
    OH SHIT.

    Does the internet in any way make it off planet? Like some people get the net by satellite. Do these signals make into space like radio waves. We may be giving the xeno scum advance warning with these threads.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:40 No.2715026
    Making them piss themselves before first contact happens officially? Sounds like a good idea tbh.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:43 No.2715049
    >just silly
    No, not really. You fail to understand how badass humans are- given proper effort. That is why we play these games, we DON'T want to have to spend all day practicing swording, getting fit, etc.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:47 No.2715067
    Go to the gym you lazy fuck. You're gonna make us look bad.
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)20:49 No.2715078
    4chan, SA and similar websites become dens of xeno-hating, pro-humanity people who rally up the population with mindless propoganda and anti-alien slogans.

    An army marches under the banner of BoatMurdered...
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)21:00 No.2715150
    One last bump for this awesome thread. I shall make another tomorrow.

    HUMANITY, FUCK YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)21:09 No.2715193
    And there's a trope for humans being NOT special, what the fuck is your point?
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)21:40 No.2715222
    oh shit, you're right! if they see my weak and flabby form, they won't be afraid of me! terror -MUST- be maintained!
    >> OP 10/01/08(Wed)22:01 No.2715283
    In setting, I called the Union's galaxy-wide internets the "AENet"
    >> Anonymous 10/01/08(Wed)23:48 No.2715700
    "Much Speculative Fiction presents Puny Earthlings, physically, mentally, culturally, morally, and in most other ways inferior to all other aliens. (Or to put it differently, many Fantasy and Science Fiction authors are fond of a kind of masochistic reverse racism in that their elves/aliens/whatever are always better: technologically and culturally advanced, or physically stronger, faster, tougher with fangs and claws and superior senses blablabla, while humans are invariably weak, slow, uncoordinated, cowardly, and so on.) To balance this, and to explain why we still manage to stick around, it is also made clear that there is something special, something unique about the human character: mankind seems to have a certain adaptability, or resilience, or determination, or curiosity, or independent spirit, or zest for life — basically Western, humanistic values in a nutshell — that somehow allows us to transcend our weaknesses and earn the admiration and/or fear of other, more advanced civilizations. Apparently everyone else is stuck in a rut, possibly as a result of being a Planet Of Hats."

    Yeah, that doesn't really apply to the original theme of these threads, which is that humans ARE pretty bloody impressive physically, compared to everything else on the planet, and so there's no reason to assume we'll be the weakest, slowest things in the galaxy, and therefore no reason to wank about how morally wonderful we are, or how smart/cunning/brave/determined we can be to make up for it.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)00:14 No.2715874
    Personally I think spacefaring humans would end up living up to our own alien stereotypes. We'd abduct alien species to study them. Also, we'd probably all be robots by then, since mechanical bodies are more efficient and I'd be pretty surprised if we didn't have the tech to pull off Ghost in the Shell style stuff by the time we manage serious space travel.

    tl;dr version: humans become sort of like necrons whose main goal is research rather than wiping out all life.
    >> 008 10/02/08(Thu)00:28 No.2715968

    Medical officer's log. We've pulled into a high orbit above this new planet, those tools back home on Earth haven't put out a name for it yet, so we're calling it Planet Frank, after the janitor since he won the bet. Anyways, we sent down an abduction craft to pick up one of the locals, bipedal, advanced enough but don't seem to have an interest in space. The last one wasn't anything special, weak, frail and it died when we hit it with the anal probulator. Found out my assistant lubed it up with hot sauce as a practical joke. Killed the poor sod alien from poisoning, not that it matter's, it's not people after all. Funny though,us abducting and probing, just like those crackpots in the 20th century would recount with their encounters with the so called non existent Greys. Maybe we're just doing it because deep down, this is how our subconscious tells us things are done.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)01:42 No.2716337
    Just read all three threads. I'm inspired. What is the best system for this? I'm thinking FUDGE. Humans only. No psionics. Final destination.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)09:39 No.2718008
    This thread, much like Humanity, is too awesome to disappear just like that...at least until new writefaggotry is added.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)10:31 No.2718216
    So, what happens when a xeno discovers the concept of GAR?
    >> Human History Temporary Writefag 10/02/08(Thu)12:30 No.2718925
    The Terran Trade Federation is a conglomerate of planets and various species in the space around the human home world known as Terra, Earth, and occasionally Sol-3. The history of the Federation is one of violence and expansion. Its origin is found by examining the start of human expansion beyond the Sol system.
    Roughly 200 human years ago (2012 AD by the Human calendar) the Vauun sent a warship to conquer the Sol system using the methods common to the quadrant. That method being a show of force with relatively small losses to the enemy. The ship edged into the system and monitored the primitive radio communications that emanated from the third planet in the system. Deciding that this was the world to tame to gain control of the system's sole inhabitants, the Vauun ship approached the planet ignoring attempted communications from the species. The communications amazed the Vauun science officers, who wished to study the species longer, for they depicted members of the species living in areas that were wholly uninhabitable to Humans and yet they had thriving communities. The captain of the ship decided that the lack of FTL ships indicated that this species would be easy to cow.
    >> Human History 2 Temporary Writefag 10/02/08(Thu)12:30 No.2718928
    Entering orbit over the third planet the Vauun declared themselves rulers of the system using the inhabitants own crude radio signals. The ship then made its show of force by glassing the Sahara desert. Few lives were lost but the power available to the ship had been proven. The Vauun began preparing to set down and accept the species' surrender. Instead it was met by military aircraft. The missiles of the jet fighters punched through the hull of the ship which was designed for space travel, not withstanding direct assault. One of the jets got lucky and disabled the ship. It crash landed in Africa, mostly intact.
    The human governments used the confused prisoners of war and the technology on board to recreate not only a Space Fold drive, but finally find the solution for a viable fusion generator. This generator was relatively inexpensive and was more efficient than the generator that powered the original Space Fold drive. The Vauun had just handed a very warlike species the means of getting retribution for the attempted invasion.
    >> Human History 3 Temporary Writefag 10/02/08(Thu)12:31 No.2718932
    Since the Luminum were the commanding force of the quadrant for many millennia, the idea of the victor being decided through a non-lethal show of force was standard among many races. Even the Kestral, with their powerful forms, used discussion and debate as their main form of decision making even from their earliest histories. It was the introduction of Humanity to the quadrant that changed the nature of war.
    United in the face of possible invasion from space Humans went into space with a mean disposition armed to the teeth. It had taken only 3 human years for a human armada to be built. They raged across their little corner of the quadrant winning battle after battle against the Vauun and their allies. In space the idea of actually killing another sentient was unimaginable for many species and their lack of action (and ship armour) made them easy pickings for the bloodthirsty humans.
    >> Human History 4 Temporary Writefag 10/02/08(Thu)12:31 No.2718934
    Planetside, the Humans penchant for warfare amongst themselves had caused them to grow strong and tough compared to most of the quadrant's denizens. The infantry energy weapons of the Vauun were designed to wound at worst, and their targets were generally not as resilient as humans. These energy weapons generally only gave Humans rashes.
    Six months into the conflict the Vauun and their allies finally decided to examine the communications to see who exactly they were fighting. The discovered a species that ingested poisons recreationally. They kept animals which could bite through flesh and bone as pets, often for their children. They used oxygen, a gas that creates fire and destroys metal, for breathing. This was a species that terrified the Vauun, and they had released them into space.
    >> Human History 5 Temporary Writefag 10/02/08(Thu)12:32 No.2718936
    The Vauun surrendered unconditionally both from despair and as penitance. Their allies were not so fearful. The war raged for 8 human years across numerous systems. More and more species got pulled in as they banded together to fight the Humans and later the Vauun. As the war continued its nature changed. The allied forces began to adopt Humanity's ways of war. Soon enough it stopped being a veritable cake walk an became an actual war for Humanity. Shortly after that it was realized that the front would soon become too big for the population of Earth to sustain despite the nearly global draft. Humanity called a cease fire and struck a treaty with their former enemies, even giving back a number of systems, particularly those that were home worlds. This show of good faith was the corner stone of the Terran Trade Federation.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)12:32 No.2718938
    ITT (and its predecessors): People who should read or have read Alan Dean Foster's Farewell to Arms.
    >> Human History 6 Temporary Writefag 10/02/08(Thu)12:32 No.2718939
    Since then the Federation has been able to form strong bonds with its former enemies and neighbours, creating an alliance based on co-operative protection and trade. This alliance has allowed the Federated planets to remain free from the control of the Collective and the Empire.
    Despite these good tidings, Humanity is still viewed as one of the quadrant's boogeymen since the species as a whole is generally tougher and meaner than most of the quadrant's denizens. This stereotype of humans as warmongering brutes isn't helped any by the mercenary companies which were formed by the young soldiers of the war.
    >> Human History End Temporary Writefag 10/02/08(Thu)12:32 No.2718948
    After the Human War ended they had no where to go. Most of them considered the military their family because the relatively low casualty rates meant that many had served since the start of the war. They had joined willingly for adventure, the chance to go into space, or just to fight for Humanity's survival. Many had entered the military straight from high school and had no skills other than war. So many went looking for places to ply their trade. With the San'Oril system a neutral zone and the skirmishes that arose on a frontier there was much need for armed men willing to fight. Humanity had single handedly changed the face of war in the quadrant, for even the races that hadn't been involved in the Human War saw what was happening across the quadrant and began to change their tactics. The Human veterans were proven soldiers and found lots of work. They formed various mercenary forces ranging in size from single platoons all the way through to full armies, many of which still exist today.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)12:37 No.2718991
    Fuck yeah, this thread reawakens!
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)12:48 No.2719079
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)13:04 No.2719171
    Dear god, this thread is still around?

    Sweet. Thanks, anonymous, you are awesome.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)13:28 No.2719315
    I have waited YEARS for something like this. I thought I was alone in my fatigue at the Poor, Hapless Humans Are Obliterated By Superior Aliens trope.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)13:30 No.2719335
    This, also I'm sick of the Poor, Hapless Humans Obliterate Superior Aliens Just Because They're Human trope. I mean, fuck, humans aren't poor and hapless, and after a while you get sick of authors fapping to how weak and puny their humans are and yet overcome such huge odds just because they're special.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)13:36 No.2719370
    I say again. Alan Dean Foster's A Farewell to Arms. A scout ship from one half of the galactic war goes looking for species that can help them, and finds Earth. They consider it to be an almost uninhabitable planet - hurricanes are a feature of gas giants, not settled worlds! - populated by a terrifying race of ogre-like savages who not only don't fear and abhor violence, but seem to -thrive- on it. I don't recall it explicitly stated, but it's hinted that we're the only sentient species they've found with an adrenal system.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)13:39 No.2719394
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)13:54 No.2719481
    "Obviously humanity is the sole shining star in this galaxy of retards you've invented. So alien empires don't understand oxygen? Love? Fighting a war with bad odds? They've supposedly had a history, and clawed their way up to dominate the galaxy, and they can't comprehend the concept of hope? They've dealt with a wide variety of different alien species, but something that drinks alcohol is WHOA SHIT FAR OUT MAN? And there's 3 whole threads of this self-gratification bullshit? Fuck you, /tg/."

    You assume aliens will be similar to humans. This is a great mistake.

    "'Superior' races are set up so that players can feel good about humans defeating 'uppity xenos scum'.

    If these races were so superior, how is it that the humans keep winning when it matters?

    It's not that the humans are badass, it's simply that the enemy is made out to be superior when they're actually severely hindered due to game rules/plot."

    You need to read about the Xeelee. Scifi does not always end well for humans.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)13:57 No.2719498
    Will hive minds inevitably kill or absorb creatures that are not part of the hive mind?

    I would think any creature that isn't part of the hive mind is a neutral at best.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)13:59 No.2719511
    Is it possible to expand through space without becoming a cyborg at least?

    We have discussed how humans are tough and I agree with that consensus. But space radiation is nasty. Doesn't any space faring race have to mechanize itself to a substantial degree?
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)14:17 No.2719589
    The problem with hive minds is twofold - firstly, without FTL comms there is an upper bound on the size of any given hive, even if it is sodding huge, and secondly, as you kill it, it gets dumber.

    This leads to them shitting themselves when they realise that humans AREN'T just another species of hive, and that each human is effectively its own small mind.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)14:19 No.2719594
    Nah, you can shield against it. It's hard, but interstellar travel is also hard. You can also use Sufficiently Advanced medical tech to supplement the shielding.

    Or just upload and use spaceships the size of a coke can which drop into the outer system and start building factories and facilities.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)14:19 No.2719596
    Well, if humans are any indication, our rate of progress in space travel compared to that of our ability to mechanize ourselves would indicate you're more likely to develop the methods to become a cyborg or the like before you develop super space travel.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)14:20 No.2719601
    Also, "hard" in this context means Battletoads, not Halo.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)14:22 No.2719613
    Yeah: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_pacemaker

    Not sure if there was anything relevant before that, but the dates put cyborgs before space travel.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)16:21 No.2720279
    is that actually moot?
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)16:53 No.2720487
    we DID rape some filthy xenos before that, and did manage to force them away from our galaxy, while gaining the power to only be second to the xeelee themselves, which is pretty damn fucking impressive.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)17:08 No.2720609
    So we are one of the species that stop others from doing what they want?
    Fuck yeah /tg/.

    More of the same, please!
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)17:15 No.2720663
    ITT sagefags forget the original thread posited peaceful xenos and assume that the aliens must be stupid for not being slavering Giger-style monsters.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)17:17 No.2720674
    Fuck yes. I'm fucking sick and tired of humans either being the baseline wimpy faggots or pyjama-wearing starfleet faggots. Time for the Klingon equivalents to shit themselves at the prospect of humans for once.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)17:20 No.2720698
    Heres a though...
    If the bug types can change their own biology the same way tyranids and such can, does that mean we could be seeing hot alien women descended from bug aliens in an effort to get us on their side?

    Would be kind of fun to see them experimenting on something like that, at least in its early stage as humanity gets scared at the prospects of something like that happening, possibly the only thing that could scare us.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)17:22 No.2720711
    I don't see that becoming a problem. Fuck alien bug, shoot alien bug, have alien bug corpse stuffed and mounted. Reap satisfying conversation at dinner parties.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)17:27 No.2720742
    Can Love Bloom between an alien that went from buglike to hot alien woman and humanity at large?
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)17:28 No.2720746

    Suffer not an alien to live, gentlemen.
    Shoot to cripple, save ammo.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)17:29 No.2720756
    oh come now.
    They can't be THAT bad.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)18:00 No.2720931
    >Yeah, that doesn't really apply to the original theme of these threads, which is that humans ARE pretty bloody impressive physically, compared to everything else on the planet,

    Actually if you compare humans to say, a chimpanzee, or any animal built for to hunt, we're pretty much made of paper.
    >> Anonymous 10/02/08(Thu)19:15 No.2721342
    Holy Shit this thread is still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    For The Glory Of Humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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