First reply ending in an even numbered postcount makes the decision, or the third odd ending one.If OP requests a roll, the next roll linked to the action, or the next unattached roll is used.Current Assets:Daya, your minotaur mate.35 Minotaur warriors3 AlraunesElyria, a dryad pregnant with your child90 skeletons60 catgirlsUnknown, leader of the catgirls. Dark-haired, incredible fighter.Three SuccubiOne blue slime girlOne ImmortalSome non-fighting catgirlsSpells:+2 to raise dead+2 to fleshcrafting+2 to bonesmithySpike arm covered by ethereal hand.
Spell ListFeel free to reroll or support existing suggestions if none are successful. Invalid suggestions are ignored in the counting. Very small questions or actions may be answered without a page.
Fuck I forgot to put text adventure quest in the title again.Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Text%20AdventureTwitter: @tgtextadventure
>>26858696whoops.Will bump occasionally with highlights
Bump of support. Kept up with the quest through the archive. Have class soon, keep up the good work op.
>>26858764Thanks.Just gonna chill and bump every now and then until regulars see this.
>>26858803suggest a threeway
>>26859091Find Elyria, explain how screwed up things got with minotaur marital traditions. We had no idea about any of that.Meanwhile, how is she? Is she hurt?
>>26859294>Stop whining about sex. We have a minotaur tribe after our heads.Send off a skellington diplomat.
Also: we got the alliance on alert now. One of those spheres flew of to that big city. Hoolios, or what it's name is.
Rolled 9>>26859409MIND CONTROL ATTEMPT. GO.
>>26859450Dicegods. Why? Why are we punished like this?
>>26859473http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJNU3Zddt30THE JEWS, I TELL YOU.
Rolled 2>>26859569Attempt to GRECO-ROMAN WRESTLE out of the grip and pin her.
>>26859631Well, fuck, do we break our own bones?
>>26859631Also I wanted to pull a move similar to pic related.
Rolled 18>>26859637First even ending post, so lemme try save this>>26859569Attempt to mind control them both
>>26859673EMPEROR BLESS YOU.
Rolled 20>>26859682That post doesn't count. Or if one would reroll for it, the dice roll of 18 wouldn't.So. Fuck it I'm rerolling for this >>26859673 guys idea. There's nothing what could go wrong I believe.
>>26859720The random number god has blessed us
Rolled 11>>26859802find an unconcious guardgently slide your cock into his mouth
>>26859862Don't do it.
>>26859862There are no unconscious guards.This is invalid, thank god.
>>26859802find grave yard raise army
>>26859888All the dead in the area have already risen to your aid. They stand in your army in the village square.
>>26859802Find out why did dodo leave earth.
>>26859912than heal our selves and see how many people we just got control of
>>26859912We should release control of Elyria when she comes around.
>>26860023Tell her that she had too much to drink, but shouldn't worry about it.Then start caressing her.
>>26860036>Caress them both.FTFY.
Rolled 6>>26860023claim to be a eunuch, this way we can escape being her mate
>>26860205OUR MINDS ARE INTERWOVEN. CREATE THE TRIUMVIRATE
>>26860205"I think there's been a few misunderstandings here"
Need an even or the third odd reply guys
Rolled 18>>26860205Attempt to regain control
>>26860454Keep the minotaur bitch mindless until we find something to do with her, free Elyria of our control.
Rolled 10>>26860454Try to not fuck up
Rolled 10This: >>26860477Also,What is with the guards we controlled?
>>26860490Threesome with completely mindcontrolled puppets.Sure sounds exciting.
>>26860454get daya to agree to break shit offlightly fuck with her head if we need to
>>26860503They were killed in the monstergirl fight outside the facility. The girls didn't distinguish between them and the others.
>>26860490>>26860508>Mindbreak>Not completely fucking sexy
Taking a half hour break. Be back soon
Rolled 15>>26860678Try and mindbend them in their sleep into not wanting to kill eachother/you.
>>26860678Communicate telepathicallyAsk them if they have calmed down enough to be allowed their brain privileges back.
Rolled 19>>26860713yea its nap time after this prepare a defense and rule of the city, then plan the take over of the next alliance city
>>26860678>She moosLold at that, everything else is berry nice indeed.
>>26860678Let's go back adventuring, take our revenge on the Jester. It's been too long since we last adventured.
>>26860984We have to bitchslap the alliance first.Then we can descend on the Jester with all the fury of an angry god with an army of monstergirls and skeletons
>>26861021No, man, we need to fight something, get in some danger, get some insane rolls, do some crabwalking, all that shit
Not because I need to but because I want to
Well? What do we do?
Rolled 2>>26861903well in terms of playing this >>26860756 is the valid post. But I don't know where OP is.
>>26860756And we're back. Sorry for the late return, had some internet troubles.
Explain the situation to the girls? How we are all connected now and what not maybe?
>>26862131Well ok. If she gets too annoying we can just get rid of her like we did of the rest of her family>implying we care
>>26862131Okay, well now that that's settled, let's go home and plan our next adventure.I want to check onThe skeledogThe skeletrollThe three skeleguards (not exactly skelegntons)
>>26862131Can you give us an overviwe of the current situation?I'm kind of out of out of the loop.
>>26862233>>26862234These are compatible yes?
>>26862234Go through the archives and read the first post of each thread. I recap the previous chapter.
>>26862233This.Also bring our Army. We'' march into town as victors (and as advertisement for our new and diverse brothel back in business)
Need an even reply or third valid odd reply for this >>26862131
>>26862315Then I'm just gonna re-roll for this guy >>26862233
>>26862233The skeledog is captured or dead.The skeletroll is part of your armyThe skeleguards are dead, killed by the monster girlsYou heard about a new Jester cave, and a snake problem in Belltown a couple chapters ago. >What do you do?
>>26862430Let's get a little organized first. Get into our town, reopen the brothel get guards and scouts going. If we can send some sneaky propaganda with the 'benefits' of joining us to neaby villages that are not in the Alliance yet.Then we can go adventuringSnake problem?>Ara ara~
>>26862430We overrun the Jester, of course. That asshole.
>>26862430Let's see what happens if we let the two go for now. We need to find a way to deal with our problems that isn't mind control.
>>26862430>Jester CaveFffffuck that guy. Let's go steal his shit.>Snake problemOn the other hand, lamiae.
>>26862466But yeah, this first.
>>26862505We all know what's coming.
Rolled 7>>26862562Stand up on a pedestal. Ready your shouting voice and charisma. Announce to the town that Mr. Bone's Brothel is back in business with new tastes, as well as security service.
>>26862576Ok that's the plan for dealing with the people.What about logistics? You have several hundred assorted monsters.
>>26862505Better yet, ORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!
>>26862594"WHO WANTS TO HAVE SEX"
>>26862562Speak with the major, say we run this shit now. He can do most the political and organisational stuff, give him pretty free reign but also make clear that we run this. The town is now free of the alliance, blabla. Tell him to gather support for our cause.We appoint our skeletons to wall and patrol duty, 24/7. The catgirls that are better at fighting come with us, that one leather girl (totallynotcatwoman) can train our militia. There have to be some former guards left, appoint the experienced ones to train a regular militia, benefits include cheap entry into our reopened brothel.Other than that our town runs normally. Explicitly forbid the girls (especially cats) to rape townspeople at random.>>26862594It kinda sucks having to type out longer stuff since people will get the short and stupid blurts out much easier and faster.
>>26862656Which is why I leave it to chance. It seems to have worked out in this case.
>>26862656As for logistics, if it really comes to that, offer free sex to the man who cares to quarter one of our girls (and death to man who mistreats them). This adds to advertise. Keep the more dangerous ones at our personal place.Later, we'll earn enough cash to make a brothel proper.
>>26862684I can samefag something stupid 3 times faster than I can type out a paragraph though.
>>26862686Our mansion/brothel is freaking huge though, with an even bigger park. Most of the girls prefer to stay outside anyway.I don't think space is a problem.
>>26862562"I'M MAYOR NOW.I HEREBY DECLARE THIS TOWN TO BE A FREE HAVEN FOR MONSTERGIRLS AND HUMANS.FUCK THE ALLIANCE Y'ALL! ALSO I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU ALL KEPT THE RAPING TO AN ABSOLUTE MINIMUM SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO REMOVE YOUR BRAIN PRIVILEGES."Set up skellington patrols and guards. Also, equal opportunity employment for monstergirls and humans in positions of government.
>>26862727OP said there was an issue of logisitics, I presumed that was the case.If not, is food an issue? Having the town feed them out of their own pocket for now would be good.
>>26862756Well we threw the alliance out, which no doubt used the resources of the town as well, and it was still running apparently.If anything our girls take less food than the alliance, especially if sufficiently supplied with semen.
>>26862705True but if that truly becomes a problem I can just invalidate the retard posts.
Maybe we could look if the phylacterys are still there. If so we can examine and learn to create them.
>>26862790That is a terribly good idea.
Put "quest" in the OP so it can be filtered.
OP can you be more specific about these logistical issues?
>>26862656>>26862686>>26862853Space and nothing else. Most of the monstergirls live off semen and eat and drink as a treat.
>>26862825I forgot, sorry.I didn't realise people filtered these quests out so often.
>>268629331.) Send scouting parties consisting of girls and guards to other towns with both flyers and offers of meceranry work.2.) Also look for some good engineer's and builders, and offer both cash and sex to design and build a brothel3.) Post a bounty for the Jester. A big one. Like "free sex for life to the man who captures him alive, 50 years dead"
>>26862933Can we get a quick description of all our left over girls fighting skills? And if you like (you apparently do) also their appearance?
>>26862965Most people don't, but the ones who do get really, really pissy about it if even one slips through.
>>26862994They use our luxurious mansion for now, I think that's pretty good already, we just need more room. How about just expanding it and putting maybe a bar or something into it too?
>>26862933Acquire slimegirl waifu, send the others off to do whatever they want but preferably find a job doing something.
>>26863006The three alraunes each have different skin tones, pink, white, and yellow. Petals protrude from their body, forming rudimentary clothing that flap as they move around. They are all have short hair, with petalled crowns.The blue-slime girl is a translucent, young girl made of blue jelly. She breathes bubbles of air, that visibly float into her body and dissipate, evidentally sustaining her weird form of respiration.The immortal is a totally normal 12 year old girl, except that she is actually 485 years old, and cannot die by any known means. She is regenerative and wise far beyond her visible years.The succubi are horned and tattooed intricately over their mostly exposed bodies. Each is winged, with a horned tail and shorts horns sprouting from their silver hair. Naturally they are all incredibly attractive, and ooze sexuality constantly. The three catgirls are little more than children, useless in a fight for sure. They giggle among themselves.
>>26862994No bounties for the Jester. He's ours and ours alone.
>>26863114I don't want to go near the guy again, not after last time.If we really want him that badly, then lower the bounty dead to 10 years.
>>26862933We're gonna have to deal with Taya eventually.
>>26863107>The immortal is a totally normal 12 year old girl, except that she is actually 485 years old, and cannot die by any known means.I take her and a part of skeletons into the jester dungeon, to fuck him up.
>>26862933Expand the mansion.Begin plans to turn the entire town into one huge, never-ending party. A party so good that the alliance won't fuck with us because they might get left out.
>>26863107I missed a chapter or 2, what happened to our cat girl army?also, archive where?
>>26863107Ok, the loli, the succubs (I assume the wings are functional) the slime and the alraunes could be useful. Furhtermore I think we should also take Katya with us on adventures.Anyone else I'm forgetting before we go snake hunting?>hora hora hora
>>26863143>Implying she won't conspire with him, a fellow immortal, and make a deal and they fuck us bothI say we keep a close eye on her. Befriend her if possible.Treat her with the respect she deserves if she does have the intellect and wisdom of the centuries. Offer her whatever she wants, she can choose not to have sex, ect.
>>26863167The catgirls are supreme distraction tools. Don't underestimate that.
>>26862994ARCHIVE: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Text%20AdventureTWITTER: @tgtextadventure
>>26863238Get to know the immortal better.
>>26863238Gather our party, investigate snake problem.We take with us the immortal (attempt to become friends), the succubi, the slime, the 3 catgirls and the alraunes.
>>26863260Oh and Katya too, I want to get to know her too.
>>26863238>disregard bitches>acquire powerI, FOR ONE, HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN, GEORGE, JIMBO, HEADLESS AND SKULL MACE AND I WANT THEM BACK.Back to our lair to study necromancy.
>>26863280Money is power. Sex is Money.We need resources if we're going to go scouting for more dead things.Also, we haven't forgotten them and that terrible accident. George's skull is hangs in honor on our belt (alive too I bet).
>>26863312Money won't help you stop fucking up those necromancy rolls that cost you your entire army and one hand.
>>26863337No. But it does provide skeletons, cadavers, armies, useful things.Still, increasing our personal skill should be a priority.
In Chap 4 there was the Quastion, if we still have Georges head on our belt. Well... do we, OP?
>>26863350George had an esteemed place in your basement, but it was ransacked by the alliance. You assume it was destroyed by the alliance when they realised a chattering skull was useless.
>>26863384Remind her that anything she wants, she gets. Also ask how goods her sword arm, or any kind of weaponry, and if she's interested in following our adventure personally.
>>26863409They killed george.They KILLED GEORGE
>>26863434Well, he was a skull to begin with. But I guess you shouldn't speak ill of the dead.
>>26863409>>26863434Huh? Feorge was already dead before, and we had his Skull on our belt, i believe. Well I'll be watching it up
Rolled 14Go back to liar, read up on necromancy, recreate George, Jimbo and Skullmace.
>>26863528>>26863547This, but also ask some of the alliance guards if they know who sacked the town and if any of them personally went into our house.There's still hope to find George. Never forget.
>>26863528We need to talk to Elyria I should think. We can't just mind control all our problems.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/26809233/#p26811751http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/26809233/images/1377393027699.pngWell, we had him on our Belt, until we became unconcious for quite a time. But just details.Anyways. He's gone. Alliance threw it away, since it was just a dead skull to them.Also to the matters at hand: reroll for >>26863547
>>26863637Give them appropriate wear.A captains helm for Jimbo.Armor for MaceGeorge get's a robe/cape/accessory thing, he'll be our personal assistant.Go to the dungeon. It's MAGIC time. I say we try to repeat our first experiment with a moderate amount of skeletons (none of the named ones) and read every single page of the book.
>>26863644Disregard this. My internet went nuts for a moment.Maybe we can enhance the Skullmaces Weapon with our majick
>>26863730>Jester's New Cavewot? I hope you mean ours.
>>26863730I think he meant we go to our dungeon to become better at magics.
>>26863753Did dungeon not mean the Jesters new dungeon?
Rolled 15>>26863813>Go to the dungeon. It's MAGICPretty sure he wants to make a huge fucking skeleton golem again, but without our named guys.
>>26863813Prolly not. I mean I'm just saying it because I really want to go investigate those snakes.But we should train first.
Rolled 7, 13, 1, 12 = 33>>26863900Attempt another bonegolem. This time nothing that is autonomous, just a big fuck you button we can push.Also become better at the whole "control skeleton while still alive thing" I think this could be very useful.
Rolled 2>>26863928You just had to roll all 4 dice on your own, didn't you?
>>26863973You're not helping either.
>>26863928Oh dear.OP, don't forget we have +2s for some of these.
>>26863928I just wanted a fuck huge skeleton man. Now we're gonna get a fucking skeleton dog or something like those assholes in Dark Souls in the Tomb.
>>26864091I imagine a bone golem to be nothing but a fuckhuge skeleton. And even if we get a dog, why not? Sounds awesome.
>>26864143Recover for weeks, read up on necromancy to get +x to rolls. Try again.
>>26863999My bad, doesn't change the outcome.Only the bonesmithing first value gets the +2
>>26864143Welp. At least it's gonna fuck up the alliance good.We recover, let's get to know that particular catgirl.>>26864174I think we should stop with the constructs. It is simply not meant to be.
>>26864189>I think we should stop with the constructs. It is simply not meant to be.You can't stop it now. The bone golem is happening. You can't prevent it.
Rolled 4, 1, 12, 3, 15 = 35>>26864274Rollin'
Rolled 20, 16, 2, 4, 18 = 60>>26864274HAHA, TIME FOR 1S
Rolled 13, 7, 8, 19, 16 = 63>>26864274Lord have mercy
Rolled 11, 2, 17, 2, 6 = 38>>26864274It's HAPPENING
Rolled 1, 15, 14, 5, 20 = 55>>26864274PAPA NEEDS SHOES
>>26864307This one wins, right?Is it happening?
>>26864329First linked or unattatched roll.Sorry
>>26864342I thought it was first even or 3rd odd?Bullshit!
>>26864342We are so dead.
>>26864342>If OP requests a roll, the next roll linked to the action, or the next unattached roll is used.captcha: indicates failure
When we survive that we shoild totally build this.Pic stolen from /vg/
>>26864475>helilich.jpg>not skelekopter.jpgapply yourself
>>26864567don't tease us like this man
>>26864368I thought you meant the roll linked to the winning action, which is always the third odd or first even ending post number. I'm confus, Mr Bones. But w/e, it's your adventure.
Rolled 12>>26864587Telekinesis it into the sky, through the roof, and hope the fall fucks it up.
Rolled 8>>26864587Oh no, not our floor!Cast mind control at it, and get our skeletons in here. Or whoever is near and can help us.Where is that damn cat when you need her?
>>26864587If we ever. EVER. try to make one of these again (and we won't for a LONG time) I demand we build a containment facility to house these loosed creatures. We can't just let them run off willy nilly with all our power when we can hold them, sihponit back, and possibly break their loyalty.
>>26864607>Third odd ending post or first even ending post>Action is locked in>Requesting a roll>First roll linked to me or the action, or first unattached roll is used, no need to wait for the third odd/first even.Otherwise we would be here all day. The rules are established in the OP and I never bend them to prevent controversy/.
>>26864587Feed Elyria to it.I ain't raising no kids.
Rolled 3>>26864659Well, perhaps, but in this case, this was kind of a special scenario, because aside from the roll, someone could have described what they want the extra D20 to be used at.
>>26864655Why not use the alliance town's facility? They seem to had things set up pretty well, they even had nocromancer oriented rooms and equipment.The hell are we doing practificing necromancy under a brothel?
>>26864682We're not very bright.
>>26864655Shit I also had the idea of building a safe place for building monstrositys last night. totally forgot about it.
I just remembered this exists, do you think we should try make it?http://supocalypse.wikia.com/wiki/Double_Skeletal_Dragon
>>26864698We're a fantastic pimp, tactician, manipulator, healer.We're good at everything but Necromancy.
>>26864732Only after wea). build a wizard facility properb). take over the wizard facility proper in alliance townc). fucking STUDY necromancy, holy crap
>>26864732>http://supocalypse.wikia.com/wiki/Double_Skeletal_Dragon>30 meters long>weighs 2 tonsPFHAHAHAHA
>>26864732You know if you build that you will immediately have to fight it.
Rolled 19>>26864772DICE GODS. HEAR OUR PLEA
Rolled 18>>26864772force/darkness push!
Rolled 11>>26864772Pull it apart with shadows
Rolled 10>>26864772Dive in the shadows to get into a better position>>26864804Holy crap, we found our Dice God Cleric
>>26864804So, uh...... this is the first even response to the post. But... what's the action? Just "get lucky"?
>>26864820Taking this one guys.
Rolled 16>>26864834No, we clearly rolled 19 for divine intervention.
>>26864843I agree. We rolled 19 for Lady Luck's meddling
>>26864955Call the cavalry, guards, minotaurs, everyone (why didn't we prepare this earlier)."Bring it down! Bring it down! Bring it down!"
Rolled 4>>26864955Restrain it with shadows to make it easier for her to kill it.
Rolled 13>>26864978Well. At least it's not a 1.
>>26864977>why didn't we prepare this earlierSeriously. Two critifuckups, weeks of healing, and we haven't learnt our lesson?
>>26865010Of course not, we are more than only slightly retarded.
>>26865010Dude, don't you want a golem?
>>26865030I want a golem.But I also want us to be able to make one in the first place. And not to get massively fucked over if we fail.Next time, we're using the alliance facility. If we're going to ever do a next time.
>>26865048>If we're going to ever do a next time.No brakes on the retard train.
>>26865030Hey yeah, now that I think about i.... NO, WAIT, THAT'S THE KIND OF THOUGHT PROCCESS THAT GOT US ON THIS SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE! Altough yeah, bone golems...
>>26865048>implying that as soon as we survive we aren't trying againYou can't stop it.
Rolled 16>>26865085Plus, once we have a bone golem, he can help us make more bone golems and subdue the failures and sex up the monster girls!
>>26865118For that, we'll use the Rape Troll as the base.
Hey, OP.... doesn't the extra d20 you gave us in >>26864274 make us *more* likely to critfail? Isn't that kind of a problem, given how massively we've fucked up every single one of these?
Rolled 10>>26865123Dark Energy crush all three of it's skulls.
Rolled 16>>26865123Attempt to peer into the creatures mind with every last bit of magic we have.
Rolled 11>>26865123Attempt to pull the mind fragment we put into it back into us.
>>26865148That dice determines ability. So a critfail would give it a slightly detrimental ability that it would have to use.In addition to the critical rolls, you seem to end up with them in the control step of construction, which is done in the same order every time.
>>26865189Yes, but if we critfail at any stage of the process we're kind of screwed. (And apparently the DC for each individual roll is really quite high even with our +2. What are the actual success/failure boundaries? Can you tell us that much, at least?)
There better be some coitus at the end of this, or this is going to be the shittiest day we've ever had.
>>26865259Surely we've had plenty in our weeks of healing.On another good note, we should be extremely wealthy by now.
>>26865259How about surviving this day first?
>>26865309We have other priorities.
>>26865278I don't know about that wealthy part, we kind of trash our mega brothel every month trying to make yet another construct.
>>26865278Not if we're knocking crystal chandeliers off the ceiling.Also, why aren't regular whores plotting against us? They must be plotting against us...
>>26865342Who cares about them?
>>26865342What makes you think there are regular whores at all? This is a place where sex is almost always commonplace. Walk into any woods and you can find a sexy-crazed monster girl.
>>26865342Well shit, I never even thought about the regular whores, I mean we never mention them, but I'm pretty sure we have those.
RECOVERSTUDY NECROMANCYDO IT AGAINI WILL HAVE A BONE GOLEM, OR DIE TRYINGFINAL DESTINATION
>>26858529Fucking put quest in your fucking quest threads
>>26865377ugh, well at least somebody is impressed with how we fight, not our necromancy skills.We need to get out of this place. How's that job hunt going?>>26865392It was one mistake dude, this is the first time.
>>26865248each roll is a stage1. Body Construction2. Power3. Mind and It's control over its body4. Loyalty5. Magical ability.So the dark creature failed mind, and thus barely had one, and also failed loyalty.Success depends on the difficulty of construct, but generally below a 50% total value it gets bad.Constructs are powerful, and therefore hard to create. They also make badass boss fights.
>>26865377Recover and attempt to create tiny Bone flying scouts
>>26865377Let's assemble a team to go investigate that snake problem. I'm tired of this place.>>26865392qq
>>26865377Alright there guys, let's try out those Alliance facilities, maybe they have some kind of room you can flood with positive energy, kills the baddy and heals any cuts they made? How 'bout it?
Rolled 13>>26865377make another
>>26865378>what makes you think there are regular whores at all?Mostly paranoia. Also because we can't get that stinking rich without attracting SOME attention, so I'm constantly worrying that someone is targeting Mr. Bones even if we can't see them, which is perfectly reasonable. That's just another form of paranoia isn't it?
>>26865435Stop already. It has lost its humor long ago.
>>26865377Also, what would be a rough guesstimate of our stats, from what I can glean we must have hella crazy dex and strength, no wis or cha, and maybe a bit of int.
>>26865452You can't stop it.
>>26865460>and maybe a bit of int.Haha, no, none at all.
>>26865460Low actual strengthHigh dexterity since you pick up rogueish qualities from dark magicLow wisdom, fucks reliabilityHigh intelligence, potential for powerful magic is highCharisma, pretty poor. Generally get sex by mindbreaking, getting raped, or reward,
>>26865460No cha? The leader of the catgirls only slept with us because she tought we were pretty, we have plenty of cha. We're the chaest
>>26865495>High intelligenceHow come we make such bad decisions and planning then?
>>26865511High intelligence, low wisdom. Read again
>>26865511We're not very wise
>>26865511That's your fucking fault.>>26865507Low charisma doesnt mean ugly, and a horny catgirl does not a handsome man make.
>>26865511Well, its because WE play the character.
>>26865540I'd say we're more of the embodiment of non-existent wisdom. I mean sure we know how many spiders you can fill a vagina with, but what application could that ever have?
>>26865566>I mean sure we know how many spiders you can fill a vagina withWe do? Ought to make some spider skeletons one day and see if we're right.But beyond that, who else things a horde hive of tiny spider skeletons to unleash on your foe is a good idea?
>>26865566Well none since it's not actually that many spiders. I remember it was somewhere around 130, no?
Shit is the quest going downhill in quality? The suptg votes are dropping like a brick.
>>26865603What's the status on our great job/mercenary hunt? Any of the guards report anything?
>>26865611>spider >skeletonYou know that is going to look like a normal spider because exoskeleton?>>26865621>waah, write quest in your title or imma downboat you >:(
>>26865621Relax, there's always this group that likes to downvote every new quest or something. Mentioning it doesn't help either.I like the quest as is.
>>26865603Consult with Daya, Elyra, and the Immortal on what our next move should be.
>>26865621/tg/ now hates quests if you haven't noticed
>>26865618I haven't actually saved that image, but 130 spiders could potentially cause a ruckus, I mean just one widow spider usually gets people to scamper about.
>>26865645It'll still be pretty fucking awesome.On another note, does that mean we can control any bug we happen to see?
>>26865603Ask the Immortal how not to fuck up our Necromancy.
>>26865679Let's keep to skeletons, gooey bits lead to situations like Skullmace Jr.
>>26865676Does it? Thing is tiny and slow. I'd want to get some big, fast ones. Big ass Wolf spider or something.>>26865679Yes actually. We can also control everything with an endoskeleton. Just bend manipulate the bones like we want, or even easier bend one leg a little bit in the wrong direction. I assume pretty much everyone would listen to us after that.
>>26865621How many times must I say it? Don't pay attention to the votes because they mean nothing nowadays.
>>26865763Seriously.The moment fucking BLEACH QUEST got gold rating, it became clear that votes were meaningless.
>>26865726Pretty sure the number of wolf spiders that would fit in a vagina would be significantly lower. Maybe in the high teens if you really packed them in there.Hell of a lot more deadly though, I guess.
>>26865628>>26865650Combined. Made sense.
>>26865946"I like popcorn too, I wonder if they'd go good with caramel"Next course of action, the Jester. I say, we dig out the tunnel, hell, hole the hole mountain. Send word for engineers and professional dungeon explorers, to dig out any trap mechanisms.
>>26865946Right then. I don't think we're good enough to take on the Jester yet. Take Katya, the immortal and some skeletons and see what is with these snakes.
>>26865946Which one is Daya? And what happened to Palla?
Rolled 16>>26865946Attempt highly dangerous diplomatic manuveur
>>26866051Daya is the minotaur leader of the tribe and your life mate.Palla rejoined her tribe once the centaurs were released from the alliance harem.
>>26866002Fuck. We should not mess with that fucking clown. You remember what happened last time.>roll1d1000>1
>>26866076We're not messing with him.Our army and engineer's are.We'll dig the fucker out.
>>26866090>implying he is there
>>26866099Even if he's not, might be some treasure in there. At least we can boast that we've triumphed over the Jester and he ran away in shame.
>>26866230Fuck the rules.Buy catapaults.Start a siege
>>26866247This. Tear to the ground. We're not going in there with 500 men, let alone 5.
>>26866230Fuck the rulesBuild skeleton catapultsStart a siege
>>26866247I like your style.
Well there goes Elyria, she had a good run I guess.
>>26866230It sounds like we will get brainwashed into waifuing yet another chick if we succeed. We don't need that shit. Go find some snakes instead.
>>26866247>only catapultsWe should initiate operation: fuck youPoison the groundwater, use catapults to throw rotting cadavers over the walls (which we then control) and let the skeletons handle all the siege equipment. We work 24/7 and since we don't have to worry about supply lines with undead we ARE going to starve that fucker out.
>>26866313It's of no difference.As much as I'm, and I'm sure the actual Mr. Bones, is against the idea of loli's, our true heir should be of the immortal.
>>26866335>Implying an immortal needs food>Nor has a stockpile worth centuries
>>26866355Not all of his minions are going to be so high class though. That would be bullshit. If only he remains it's good enough for me.Actually that is precisely what I want.I have a feeling the fucker is a lot less dangerous than he appears, hiding behind his puzzles and traps.
>>26866424Scout out the area with bird skellies.
>>26866424Wait, sieging the castle isn't a valid option? >>26866270 Why?>>26866399We don't even know what kind of minions he has, or if they eat, or if it's not a crazy automated castle.No, you're right, we shouldn't use just catapaults. Battering rams, siege towers, anything that we can throw against him.
>>26866468Didn't actually reply to the post.
>>26866468>Wait, sieging the castle isn't a valid optiony u not want play OP's riddle game?
>>26866468By the rules the valid reply is >>26866322I think sieging is a very valid option but now we do this first. And don't let us backtrack to the Jester again. Let's get over with the snake thing.>Hora hora
>>26866424Tell them we'll get rid of the snakes, if they promise to help us siege the Jesters castle.
>>26866424Do this >>26866455If nothing dramatic seems to happen go into the town, without the girls at first.
>>26866492It quoted a post that replied to the post. You're just buttmad people didn't want to play your riddle game.
>>26866547No you just can't read.
>>26866547OP's word is law man. This is Mr. Bones's Wildride.I distinctly remember him saying it has to be a response to the actual thing a few chapters back.
>>26866424Go rescue the lamiae from the villainous, monster oppressing townfolk.
>>26866547>It quoted a post that replied to the post.>First reply ending in an even numbered postcount makes the decision, or the third odd ending one.>>26866573It says so in every OP
>>26866547I don't know about that, he probably did have a contingency plan incase we didn't play his game, and to be honest the last back up I remember involved us getting a new one ripped open, literally.
>>26866547>First REPLY ending in an even numbered postcount makes the decision, or the third odd ending one.I establish the rules. I follow them to the letter.If I don't subvert them, the outcome is more trustworthy.
>>26866590>>26866615>First reply ending in an even numbered postcount makes the decisionWhich exactly why that was the post that should have been used. There is no stipulation that says it has to quote the post by OP, and he has not followed this rule in the past. That posted ended in an even number, and made the decision. He just pulled out this new rule out of his ass now.
>>26866667Just let it go man. We'll deal with the Jester in full force later
>>26866667Interesting. Now quit your bitchin
>>26866661search for a brain, break it and use the damned thing
>>26866667I'm not going to delay by arguing.Call it OP bullshit, and carry on.
>>26866661Talk to it.
>>26866661Send in a skellie and have it walk without rhythm, so it won't attract the wurm.
>>26866692We shouldn't just kill the thing without asking who'se going to pay us."If you're good at something never do it for free"
>>26866733Tell them we'll get rid of the snake, if they promise to help us siege the Jesters castle or pay us with what little they can give.
>>26866733Talk to citizens, discuss your (hefty) reward for killing that big ass snake.
>>26866667I don't know what you're seeing or what you're on about but this look entirely correct to me.Are you sure you understood the rules?
>>26866761You know the town's deserted right?
>>26866776>You see people begin to filter out of their homes...>>26866733
>>26866776I thought "people begin to filter out of their homes" meant that there are, actually, people.
A snake has an exoskeleton right?We should start buffing up on our magical skill, this is gonna be a big one.
>>26866829A snake has an exoskeleton right?No.
>>26866829Is it possible to dominate its mind instead
>>26866829No, they don't. They're reptiles, not insects.
>>26866838>>26866851Oops, my bad.Well, it might be too big for us anyway.
>>26866829No, but it does have a skeleton.But if we can't control a golem sized loose skeleton, we sure as hell won't do a thing to something the size of a mansion.
>>26866844We tried that. Now, of course, we were out of range, but bet your last dollar on that, if we get within reach, it'll attack.
>>26866864>Too big for Mr. BonesI take that as a challenge.
>>26866864I think so to. Conventional "I cast magic missile" won't help us here. We'll have to be inventive, which means we are going to fail horribly.
Rolled 20>>26866894What? Failing in dice rolls? Insanity.
>>26866927Fuck you, nat20-waster
>>26866927OH. MY. GOD.
>>26866764>26866270 was the first even post
>>26866979Give the immortal a sword.Have her get eaten by the beast.Have her try to kill the thing from the inside out while we think of a better plan.
And >>26866322 was the first even post to reply.You clearly have not understood how this works.
>>26866979Fuck dusk or dawn, we attack now. Charge blindly into the desert
>>26866998Meant to reply to >>26866959
Rolled 2>>26866979>>26866927I waste my 20 on a fucking joke.Goddammit.
>>26866996We Pinnochio now
>>26866998Actually, you are clearly blind.>>26866230 was the first to respond. Followed by >>26866270
>>26866979I was hoping for a more tangible reward personally.
>>26867037>No.26866247Err, I meant >>No.26866247 was the first response
>>26867042It doesn't get any more tangible than "you can stick your dick in it"
>>26867037Holy shit you are retarded. I'm not going to reply to you anymore.
>>26867037>>26867072Are we still on this? Can we just agree that I'm a prick and move on?
>>26867084Stay mad, you're still wrong.>>26867104I think we agreed on that already, some people still struggle with basic reading comprehension though.
>>26867104Move on? You're talking to the guys who try to raise monstrosities from the grave every time they get a chance, after it has gone wrong time and time again. They'll never let go.
>>26867115Little did he know, that my five year plan had finally come to fruition. Finally, I had revenge on anon!
>>26867130It's not the monstrosity part that's wrong about our attempts, it's the lack of a contingency plan incase things get monstrous that's the problem.
>>26867148Or the usage of already existing and efficient necromancy and monster experimentation facilities.
>>26867179Well, tell her in case things go south, she should try that. And charge blindly into the desert
>>26867179Well at least that's one back up plan, we're starting to shape up into a fine dark lord with thinking like that. We should see if they know ANYTHING else about the snake than it coming out a dawn and dusk.
>>26867179Send skeletons to lure it out and then try to mindrape it
>>26867179Set up traps and wait for the snake
>>26867179I actually have no idea how to beat this damn snake. I think it might be a bit too big for us to do any real damage to it. If we're lucky we tear out a rib, only the thing has 580 more.One thing I know about snakes though is that they have a very slow digestion and not terribly aggressive digestive fluids. We could last in there a while.
>>26867248We could last even longer if we got ourself a comfy meatsuit.
>>26867248Can't we just cast "Death" on it repeatedly? Sure, it's got a big brain, but Death will kill it sooner or later.
>>26867248Our magic works around in the ground, let's not forget that, and we can tell where it is from any dead things left in it's stomach, I mean we do have a spell for that.
>>26867339That means we have to get in reach. Of a GIANT snakes head. I don't know how far our reach is but that doesn't sound safe at all.
>>26867339That's not much of a strategy, tho. Besides, how many good rolls would we need for this, four in a row? What are the odds?
>>26867352Even better.We can reanimate the things in its stomach. it might not kill it but that has to be uncomfortable.
>>26867359>What are the odds?Never in our favor, that's for sure
>>26867379Maybe we can try to make a golem inside that thing! Our golems always turn out great after all!
>>26867415Tell the immortal to get in and start hacking.Get some skelebro's in there too, maybe they can help until dissolved by acid.Try cracking it's bones from the inside or something.
Rolled 6>>26867415try this >>26867412Think about it, even if we fail, we'll succed, the thing usualy goes berserk! We just have to get out of the way
>>26867412Woah>>26867415Try this >>26867412
>>26867415Go to the edge of where the snake is and wait.
>>26867451Sounds like a good plan. Snakes should have the skeletons of their victims inside.>>26867415Wait for the snake.When it's found, get Imm and the skelebro's in . Feel around for more skeletons inside, and then try to break it's bones where you can.
>>26867445>>26867451>>26867468The snake isnt here. These are invalid.
>>26867468No number reply's remember, you have to explicitly state what you want.
>>26867493But this isn't >>26867482that goes without saying, of course.
>>26867493Well duh, then we approach it without waking it up, hopefully and do this >>26867412>>26867415
>>26867507No he can support another post.As long as he links to my post and makes it clear.
Rolled 12>>26867415>>26867493Ok then, we go towards the snake and try to engage it. That sound good?
>>26867415>Still cockblocking immortalGoddamnit. Poor loli.
If the whole animate a golem inside the snake thing doesn't work, we could try to make a dark energy spike while the snake slides on the groud, possibly gutting it.
>>26867580If only she weren't loli.She's technically the best potential for an heir out of all of them. Assuming she's at a childbearing age (which she isn't). Can she still choose to age more?
>>26867616Nope. She can get pregnant though. Immortal pregnancy is supernatural, since it always kills the mother at the birth of the new child.
>>26867686We'll make a note to discover in vitro fertilization later.
>>26867616Get her pregnant. She gives birth to a daughter and dies. We now have a totally loyal Immortal. Create a phylacterion and put it inside her or someting. We are immortal ourselves now.
>>26867720it would take years for her to grow up and then she is just a normal child, no knowledge, no experience. Totally useless.
>>26867724If we have time, make sure to tie the Immortals sword to her hand or something so she doesn't lose it in the beast. If not, just sned her and some skelebros at the monster with good luck, get in, and just randomly hack at anything and everything.Then, run away, have your other allies distract it, feel around it's interals for skeletons, and animate them too. Make them batshit crazy on ripping up stuff.Break it's bones.
>>26867616But I'm actually okay with loli.*Especially* if there's a lamia involved in there somewhere.I never asked to be this way, I swear
>>26867738It's clear Mr. Bones has a thing against loli's, but we'd still want that immortal necromancer heir of our legacy.>>26867757I am supportive of this.
Rolled 3>>26867724Animate own shadow, send it to fly into things nostril.
Rolled 9>>26867724Cast death. Repeatedly.
>>26867724SPAM DEATHAlso I'm pretty sure the Immortal chooses to become pregnant, right?
>>26867724Let's try this >>26867757
>>26867724Imma and the skeletons, get to chopping ya gits.
>>26867793Yeah. Immortals have mental contraception.
>>26867779And fucked we are. Let's hope we get swallowed, and don't die in the proccess. I really want to try the golem shit.
Alright everybody! It's the shadow in nostril I suppose, so let's all think what might happen? Maybe the shadow will still be attached to us and pull us in with it.
>>26867746Useless to us, perhaps, but she'd have the blood of a necromancer and ensure the survival of our line.
>>26867850Wait, are all immortals female?
>>26867830Good chance that doesn't happen. Reptiles can't actually chew, they just hold and swallow. And if it's that big I bet it just wouldn't care and just swallow us.>>26867850And we would lose a valued ally with what 400 years of wisdom collected?
>>26867875>And we would lose a valued ally with what 400 years of wisdom collected?Who says we have to do it now?On our deathbed, perhaps.
>>26867884Ha, she'd never fuck an bedridden old necromancer. And we can't force her, mental contraception.
>>26867746I thought Imm would give birth to an Immortal.She said so here >>26863384.The point in my post was to get the Phylac safe.>>26867864>Wait, are all immortals female?Look >>26863384"We have sex with a human male""She grows up"Seems like it. >>26867875>And we would lose a valued ally with what 400 years of wisdom collected?Thats a fair point I haven't considered
>>26867922>Ha, she'd never fuck an bedridden old necromancer.Oh ho, after all the years we've known her by then? And all the experience she's had with other old men, probably.Besides, I'm sure we'd find ways of spicing things up. Bearing our child might be the goal, but that doesn't mean it'd be the main coarse or we can't make it fun.
>>26867944Sure she would give birth to an immortal.An immortal but otherwise completely normal baby.The value of immortals comes from the extreme amount of knowledge and skill they have acquired over a long, long time.Which is why that baby would be totally useless, unlike Imm.
>>26867965We can and all, but think. She's perfectly capable of fucking everything without getting pregnant because mind contraception. Why would she want to do it for us, why'd she want to bear our child? A good night of romance is not a good reason to give up immortality, y'know. She'd just let us die and keep going, because she can and there's not a single good reason to sacrifice herself.
>>26867779Sorry guys, It's 3:30am and I need some sleep. I'll pick this up again tomorrow.I figured this is a decent chapter end. Check out the twitter for updates and the archive links: @tgtextadventureArchive to catch-up: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Text%20AdventureGoodnight guys.
>>26867965Now I'm imagining a decrepit old but powerful necromancer, sitting in a lavish throne room while a town sized orgy goes around us.>>26868035We'll keep Imm to our last breath that's true. But years down the line if we can ensure the survival of our bloodline and have our other children raise what could potentially be the most powerful necromancer ever seen, why not?
>>26868074Her mother found a good reason to give up her life for Imm, whatever it was.
>>26868116I'm not saying there aren't ways, I'm just saying that Mr Bones has none.
>>26868169For now. Obviously now would be a terrible time. But one day.