ITT we pretend Earth is a homebrew map>RussiaSomeone had to fill some space
"So you spent all that time making names and borders for all the other continents, but Australia and Greenland are both just one country? Brilliant, mate."
>>26799273Why is there so much water. I bet Greenland is really powerful.
"Hey, it kinda looks like it all fits together. Why not just mush them into one big continent to keep things simple?"
>>26799273Why does The United States of America have that other part on the other side of Canada?Also, somebody was pretty lazy when they were filling in North America. Just three countries? Everywhere else has like thirty.
Yeah there's almost literally no way all those bullshit kingdoms are going to be relevant.I know we said we wanted more politics in your next game but this is absurd.
>>26799273Not really, OP.
Why is a placa\e called the United Kingdom smaller than most of the regular nations.also >Greenland and Icelandsomeone got lazy near the end.
Turkey? Really? Yeah, okay.
>>26799453I'm also pretty sure they swapped Greenland and Iceland at some point (printing error?), I mean there is more ice in Greenland than in Iceland, and there is practically no green in Greenland.
>>26799273Why are there two Koreas, I bet their copies of each other cause OP can't into imagination.
>>26799273The shape of South America countries is too unrealistic. Come on, Chile is just fucking stupid.
Fuck you babby 4th edition faggots. 1st edition Pangea fo lyfe.
>>26799596Nah, they're probably in some trivial civil war over something stupid and have been for longer than they remember.I read Gulliver's Travels in high school too, OP.
I mean it's cool and everything, yeah, man. I'm just sayin', ALL those islands are part of Canada? None ever rebelled or anything? Just putting some ideas in your head, dude.
Why are all the fat people in Europe in such a small island? Doesn't make much sense to me.
>>26799667Dude, Pangaea was crap compared to Rodinia.Though admittedly, some of the design notes for Pangaea Ultima look like it will be pretty cool.
Looks like you did Europe and Africa first, started getting lazy with South America, and then just gave up about halfway through Asia.
Guys, we need to come up with a better name generator. I mean, come on, New York, New England, New Zealand?
>>26799273shit/10 rivers dont even form like that you fucking moron
>>26799385Oh my god this is literally the player part of my mind every time I try to homebrew a detailed map
"Italy" is shaped like a foot.I wish the DM would stop injecting his fetishes into the game...
>>26799386Those don't count, those are from the later gazetteer when they realized they needed to add some details to the big blank they'd left on the map.It's pretty clear they never had any of that crap in mind when they made the original map.
>>267996671st edition was incomprehensible. The setting is better, but you only even know that if you read the wiki, because the rulebooks are in gibberish.
>>26799772You, you, take that back you double nigger! Rodinia was only a proof of concept sketch and was never meant for actual play. There is a reason why any trace of the Rodinia map was wiped out, you know.
>>26799800Are you serious, what kinda pervert made this map, the fucking US has an erection while Norway is an erection.
>Republic of the Congo>Democratic Republic of the Congo
>>26799800just look at "sweden" and "finland" (which probably is inhabited by merfolk, OP being the lazy fuck he is), and tell me what they look like together..goddammit OP
>>26799780I can't see the first Zealand. Did you forget to name one Zealand?
>>26799273>Hey you know what would be cool? If we had a country running up the whole side of a continent.>no, GM, thats not cool, thats impractical. Also, there are a bunch of mountains exactly there. How would a nation even be able to support itself there?>They are just really chill about it>Okay, how is the coutnry called?>Chile>Goddammit
>Lesotho>implying countries inside other countries could survive
Inb4 russia curbstomps everyone. Seriously OP, how is this map even sustainable? Greenland and russia would win every war ever. nobody could stop them.
Why does Australia have an island at the bottom? if you compare it to the rest of the map it should have revolted by now
>>26799800Yeah, Italy is absolutely retarded looking.So is Japan. It's shaped like a fucking bow and guess what samurai warfare is all about? Bowmanship on horseback.I know some parts are sort of realistic, but other parts are just stupid.
>>26799813Only to Babby-1st-Global Map DMs like you, it is. They should have let perfection be, not creating more and more "continents" just to segment the market more, the money grabbing faggots. Fuck, we even now have "sub-continents" I mean WTF? How many Mary Sue land masses do we need? Look at Australia. It is overpowered. 9 out 10 most poisonous snakes in there? Check. Super speshul snowflake marsupials poisonous duck/beaver? Check. Giant boxing-jumping rats with pockets? Check. I say scrap everything and start again.
>USA has like, one piece of land up past canadaWhat the hell? Canada should've totally taken that shit.
Why does the united kingdom have a bunch of bullshit islands across the planet from their main landmass?
>>26799914thats a mistake. Look at how the border is a straight line for some reason. Nobody would intentionally put such a retarded border on his map.
>>26799934they are all kingdoms that are united in that nation equally, obviously. There is probably a council of kings or something where every island has the exact same say and all that jazz.
>>26799866Uh, yeah. For some reason it was misspelled in the rule book. The original one was called Zeeland.
>>26799940Looks like OP got lazy. Canada is fucking massive! Why does it hold all those islands? Seriously, those should be seperate countires. Otherwise the sheer population of Canada would let them fuck up the whole north america.
>SwitzerlandSomebody has a major boner for Rozz Switzer...
>>26799818>There is a reason why any trace of the Rodinia map was wiped out, you know.How do you cope with being wrong all the time?
>>26799951Shit, that's kind of a cool idea actually. but why are they so spread out? why not just do the same thing with all those countries in the earea between the Atlantic and russia?
>>26799986Rodinia was just pangea but for age of sail fags. >Muh Tallships
Does anyone have a scan of the new Global Warming add on? Currently, I am playing as the Netherlands but I'm thinking of getting the Canada starter pack because I'm told the new add-on will give some great economic modifiers.
>>26799940>the border is a straight lineExcept that's wrong. See, to the south?Clearly there's some kind of "disputed border" conflict going on.
>>26799986Rodnia was just pangea with >Muh longships
why does indonesia look like 2 sausages, a fat chicken, some weird ass half bird thing and a cross between the letter K and a giraffe? what the fuck OP
>>26799971What if Canada has a sever frost giant problems so that's why they cant take the place
>entire middle east filled with religious fanatics>itsy-bitsy country right in the middle filled with fanatics of another religion>hasn't been conquered yetAre you trying to set them up as bullshit mary-sue heroes or as unrealistic enemies?
>>26800062>implying that they are all not secretly from the same faction.Top lel.
>>26800048Holy shit, you're right! It DOES look like the ingredients for my mum's gumbo!
I'm reading the background for the setting and it doesn't make any sense. Why was WW1 fought again? It seems like it only happened to give Hitler a backstory.
Why the fuck is south africa filled with humans? Wouldn't the orc populations on the rest of the continent have pushed them out by now?
>only 4000 years of written history>hundreds of thousands of years of 'prehistory' where nothing happens
Kazakhstan looks pretty interesting- centrally-located and one of the larger countries. I bet they show up a lot in this setting.
>>26800109It happened over a sandwich. Yeah.
>>26799971I think the United States used to be bigger. See how it's separated and the northern bit has a chunk of the west coast, but just a sliver next to Canada? Canada must have expanded west into United territory for access to that coastline and cut their Western neighbour in two. Maybe Canada had more Eastern coast originally, and they handed that over as compensation? Shit, I can't wait to play those two off against each other.
>>26800048They all eat foods with coconut milk and all they have are wavy daggers and have been enslaved for 350 years by a small trading kingdom. I think OP dislikes this one.
>>26799991maybe its a confederacy? Like, they dont hold any military power, but are economically the biggest player around. In history theyve traded with each other using seaways and they realized that in one nation of united kingdoms they would prosper even more. So they werent chosen for geographical, but for economical reasons
>>26800109Because they like money. Seriously, I gave up playing when after spending all my money on all of the Italian and Japanese Battle Packs to augment my core British Empire forces only to have their alliance chart changed in WWII.
>>26800122Did you even read the backstory?. The orcs were wiped out long ago, and those people inhabiting South Africa (lazy-ass name) are half-orcs.
>>268001433/10 shit lore
You put United states of America on there twice. Or is it like a United Northern states/southern states thing?
Why the hell is there a country named Chad? I thought you hated that guy.Also, Niger AND Nigeria? That's just lazy.
>>26800109It was for the "horrors of war". All the shit they used, all the gasses... basically, it was for the geneva Conventions fluff to have something to lean om.Also, to give Hitler a story. Seriously, rejected art student just wasn't cutting it.Real question is why this little korea there is allowed to talk so much shit without anyone caring.
>>26800109Bullshit political alliances built up over hundreds of years. (I can only assume that the authors are fans of George R. R. Martin, it'd explain why some of the factions in that edition were so batshit insane,.)
why the fuck are there so many "stan" kingdoms and why are they all poor?
>>26800146Dammit, now I want an alternate history game about this.
>>26800227There was some guy in the fluff named King Stan, ruler of Stanstan. After his empire broke up they all renamed themselves.
>>26800219Because they're little and full of shit.
>>26800134Oh, you missed it. It's like 7,000 years or something. Goyim Incorporated really outdid themselves there. What does it describe? What happened in these 3,000 years?What's left in your wallet? That's right, nothing!
>>26800260>King Stan, ruler of Stanstanthat one got me
>>26800146I wonder what each counties plan of action would be
All these nukes and the cold war and everything, and only two were ever used? Why were those in the setting in the first place? It seems like GM was working towards something metaplot wise then forgot all about it.
>>26799273> Republic of Congo> Democratic Republic of CongoSeriously guys?Seriously?
>>26800260Bullshit, no way. The "WWI fluff" (also horseshit, The Onion is not a source, it's parody fluff) is more believable.
>>26800254Just play Europa Universalis
why didn't china attack the roman empire? the roman empire was clearly afraid of them yet all they did was trade using a road and then an ocean due to all the bandit encounters there
>>26799273>western hemisphereokay I got bored of thinking up names.
>>26800342Why did medieval Europe never attack Japan? Did the Japanese have some kind of superweapon?
>>26800358Didn't they force a tsunami to defeat attackers
>>26800321Previous PC group, maybe? Built something the DM didn't realize would be broken?
>>26800342In earlier additions there were really bad land attrition modifiers so it made it impractical to move troops across large areas. At a certain point they struggled to move troops across their own lands.Mongolia tried at one point but they showed up -- no joke -- almost a thousand years late.
>>26800329>also horseshit, The Onion is not a source, it's parody fluff>Even in character, I must partypoop
what's with the naming system in china? what, did they just drop metal spoons and whatever sound it made became the character's names?
>>26800321Up through '98, there were more than 2000 detonations!You don't hear about most of them because they were tests!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLCF7vPanrY
>>26800374a typhoon, they summon typhoonsOP as fuck for an island nation
>>26800358made me laugh, arigato
>>26799563Dude, look at the map. The map generator coloured it green, and some chucklefuck decided that Greenland was a real name.
>>26800172>area drunkard declares war on IrelandEvery time...
>>26800377>that ridiculously huge amount of grasslandForget border-drawing, that's clearly where they said "fuck this terrain-building shit"
>>26799273Can we use the actual map? iceland is tiny in real life, not the size of africa
>niger>nigeriaFuck off /pol/
>>26800408If they are so powerful why haven't they take over that region. Could the other nations made something to stop the typhoons?
>>26800426That projection sucks and you suck for posting it.
>>26800426>"the actual map"you mean the map that just changes sizes for some things for balancing purposes? Its retarded
>>26800435Typhoons don't work all that well if you're away from the waterThat and I think they have some kind of shrine that lets them do it, they can't move that.
Fucking bullshit 'Antarctica'Who the hell makes a desolate frozen location and just leaves it empty? I mean, you established that damn near every inch of the setting has been explored thoroughly already, there's nowhere to actually adventure except for Antarctica, but there's nothing thereSeriously, can you even into adventures?
>>26800426Chucklefucks decided it had to be a GLOBE. Never mind that makes it stupid-hard to map properly.
>>26800342China has a long history of getting their shit kicked in by the French; I expect it wasn't any better in Roman times.
>>26800453Your group just hasn't dug deep enough under the ice
>>26800453>here be monstersDo you know NOTHING of adventuring?
>>26800186Then what the fuck are the big savage things in the rest of africa?
Also, what's with Ireland? They're clearly dwarves, why are they letting goddamn prissy faggot elves conquer their land and call it 'North Ireland'?Way to fuck up Elves vs Dwarves
>>26800426I just fucking despise that particular map projection because the first time I saw it it was billed as a way to 'properly indicate the relative size of different continents and make Africa look big and scary and Europe and America look like tiny worthless former partriarchy oppressors' or some shit like that.Because cartographers back in the bad old days were really more worried about subtly sticking it to brown people instead of ANYTHING else.
>>26800482Three quarter orcsUnless you mean the SHITTON of monsters that infest the place. My party ran into a "Large grey creature with curved tusks" once, decided to fight it, and got our shit kicked in.
>>26800486Because elves typically kick dwarves' asses in most fantasy settings.deal with it
I'm reading up on the Ethiopian cow-herders. Batshit crazy, they shoot their best cow in the neck with an arrow, catch a bowlful of blood, patch up the cow wnd drink the blood. What the fuck???
>>26799273So how do any of these small countries survive without being taken by the bigger
>>26800062>everybody attacks them together in '67>they win in 6 daysEither GM is in love with the little fucks, or they need some serious nerfing.
Who the fuck did they put in charge of Norway, and why are there all these fjords and fiddly bits up there?
>>26799273>Uruguay>U r gayVery funny Anon,
>>26800489It IS better at demonstrating relative size. It's still shit compared to an actual globe.
>>26800489>Because cartographers back in the bad old days were really more worried about subtly sticking it to brown people instead of ANYTHING else.um, yeah? nationalism is foreverif you had two maps that both get things done alright, and one of them makes the landmasses closer to you (i.e. more relevant to you) look bigger, which one would you choose?are you so violently anti-liberal that you have to lapse into delusion?
>>26800557Enormous technological superiority due to American and to a lesser extent European help, while the Middle East got none.You'll note that now that Russia's decided to become bros with Iran and Syria, Israel's all of a sudden lost their bravado.
>>26800499Fuck! 3/4th orcs?! What're the stats on those things? +2 Spesshul?
>>26800588Are YOU so deluded that you seriously think there's a conspiracy to keep the nig man down behind even something so simple as a map?
>>26800608well they seem to have very low intelligence so they can't be that bad
>>26800597>GM's pet theocracy>massively nerfedTop lel. GM fiat is a helluva drug
>>26800597Goddammit, why do the Devs keep changing Russia's fluff? First it's Mongols, then it's Royalists, then they're some wacky radicalist economic experiment, and now they're the same LOLFREEMARKET but cranked up to eleven, because it wasn't retarded enough before. Make up your fucking minds!
>>26800446All projections suck equally. Yes, even the pseudocylindrical ones. The distortion isn't removed, it's just pushed somewhere else.Example: sure, the Goode homolosine (AKA orange-peel) projection does a pretty good job of avoiding distortion in the areas where people actually live, but that doesn't change the fact that trying to navigate either of the poles with that projection would be like trying to untangle a 4-dimensional Rubix Cube. Oh, and northeast Asia/northwest North America is fucked all to hell.
>>26800565Some Autist named SlartiBartFast. The guy was a pretty good dude, raging autistic though. He loved his Fjords.
>>26800588Yes, I am rabidly anti-liberal.If it's to make the relative sizes of continents more accurate, okay, I dig that, I appreciate that. I don't need your activism all up in my cartography.
>>26800616It's not "oppress the nig", it's simple ego. Remember, cartographers were paid by rulers.
giant grey tusked beasts with the power to lift giant logs with their noses are afraid of small rodents? who the hell made this bestiary
>>26800533Its meat you can drink and you don't need to kill the cow!When you are a nomadic herdsman free protein is awesome
>>26800666They also, as it happened, tended to utilize rulers quite often.
>>26800678Well everything in Africa is so fuckhuge/murderous that it wouldn't be that surprising that it would be startled by something so small.Although even with the penalty vs small rodents, the rodent still needs to make a fuckhuge intimidate roll to actually scare it.
>>26800626Well, he did seem to stick them in the one single specific point in the region that doesn't have the setting Spice equivalent literally bursting out of the ground.
>>26800690Shit, is it bad that I want a blood-cow now?
>>26800499If you think that's bad, my party went to Australia. Poison saves every other round, I swear. And then saves against heat. And then the crocodiles and dropbears show up.
>>26800732Dude, I don't see a Dropbear in any of the Monster Manuals. Is that some homebrew shit?
>>26800732What about the exploding trees?
>>26800732and suddenly, boxing kangaroos
>>26800732Shit, even the trees are poisonous, my party tried to eat some leaves after we got all our shit stolen in our sleep by the native tribes (those boomerang things are OP as fuck by the way) and it nearly killed us.Then the dropbears fell out of the trees and killed us.
>>26800738Did you check under "Bear, Drop"?
>>26800738I don't know. My GM swears he's not making this shit up.
>>26800738>DropbearThe DM's a pussy. Bunyips are worse. >We're gonna camp here by the billabong. >Alright. Roll for exhaustion.We rolled. >You all sleep deeply, especially Bob.Next morning, Bob's disappeared.
>>26800821Instakill while you're asleep if you're too fucking tired? Fucking shit!
The UK is such a rip-off of Westeros.
>>26800821Jesus, he went easy on us.So, anyway, after barely surviving Australia, we go to some (mercifully cooler) island where everything seems really chill. We're going on adventures doing quests for all these nature spirits until we piss off the local lord and all these assholes in wooden armor come at us with masterwork bastard swords. God damn, the DM wouldn't shut up about those masterwork bastard swords. I tried to buy one later on, but the smith wanted something like 20,000 GP.
>>26800760Last person who checked there didn't come back.
>USAStupid mary sue bullshit, I'm going to give them a black president, drones, and torture to make them more realistic and gritty.
>>26800489Africa really is huge though.
>>26800656Speaking as a liberal from a family of liberals, we don't give a shit about your cartography.Go take your tinfoil hat back to pol.
>>26800875don't forget robbing and spying its own citizens and world-wide propaganda
>>26800875Nah, man, you're missing the point of that nation. Everyone thinks it's all MUH FREEDOMS, but it's really just bread and circuses while slaves or the poor struggle to make a living. It can be compelling roleplay if done right.
>>26800533They used to do that during times of famine in the British Isles too.It survives to this day as "black pudding", which is a form of pudding made from blood.
>>26800896Aren't those a ooze monster or something?It's funny because Gygax.
>>26799273There are like a load of interesting looking islands north of 'Canada' (though they're part of the country). Why did they spend so much effort on that bit when it's just part of the other country? You could have northern raiding tribes there who attack the mainland.Also>Turkeylol, named after poultry.
>>26800888Are you an American? Because if so that's more of a "USAmerican not caring about geography" thing, and less of a liberal thing.
>>26800887>China 9,596,961>America 9,629,091>China is biggerIlliteracy and immapacy aside, illogicacy seems to be a bigger problem.
>>26800911And then they named their neighbour "Hungary".The GM was running out of steam filling in these bits I imagine.I also asked him why the USA's people were so optimistic and active compared to Europes pessimists, and he just showed me this map he made.I hate that guy.
>>26799273>What shall we call this island?>Island?>Too literal.>Ireland?>Welcome aboard.
>>26800920It could be because of the taiwan thing. China could be considered quite a bit larger, because they claim that they rule all of taiwan, and taiwan maintains that it rules all of china.
>>26800920Is Alaska in there?>>26800931Half Ent nation, actually. Or at least, that's how it started, after they killed off the Lizardmen living there.They encourage everyone to come live among them though, including the surviving lizardmen from the countries to their south and the half orcs from Africa.
>>26800942>taiwan maintains that it rules all of chinaYou've got to admire their moxy if nothing else.Also the GM really got lazy on character creation. You've got black hair and brown eyes unless you start of of European descent. Great.
>>26800219>Doesn't realize it was over some shit splatbook that had France and The United Kingdom, two long lasting enemies suddenly allied, oh and they felt the whole alliance thing was getting stupid, especially after the whole Prussia and Two Sicilies (what the fuck there was only one sicily according to most splatbooks) uniting shit so That place with Italy and Germany wasn't more a massive clusterfuck.And then they went and fucked it all up with the goddamn breakign up of Austria-Hungary, Yes Austria (supposedly means east-kingdom in one of their bullshit conlangs) and a country that sounds like hungry and is supposedly populated by people in the same language group as the people in Finland and Estonia.
>>26800887Forgot alaska mofo, and why isn't russia in there?
>>26800965Hey, there are some middle easterners that can have red hair. Granted they are all inbred and poor as fuck, but still, they are there!
Why the fuck does Britain give two shits about some penguin-smeared rocks on the opposite side of the world? Why is there a war over these fucking pebbles? You just wanted to make a war for the sake of making a war, didn't you?
japanese being at peace with the rest of the world for centuries then suddenly attacking USA for no apparent reason. seems logical.
>>26800857I see someone's read the Hundred Years (pffft more like short bursts of war that lasted 116 years, fluff writers cannot into math) bullshit fluff.
>>26800972I never got that myself. Have you ever looked at the languages anyways? I think that they literally just made a language group for "Other". Fenno-Ugric? What the fuck is an Ugric in the first place?
>>26799273I am looking at this index of tiny fucking nations that are too small to appear on the map, the fuck GM did you just get lazy or are your art skills as bad as your naming skills. I mean for fuck sake, so much stan shit and land shit and things that end in a? Next thing your going to tell me is that there are other hidden divisions on each of these countries by "county" or "state" or "region" just to fuck with us. Also, the fact that a whole continent isn't pictured because "there isn't much on it" is fucking bullshit. You got the final fucking boss there and you just don't want to tell us don't you! I swear you have been reading too much fucking lovecraft.
>>26801021It was a tribe... they now use Fenno-Permian, since Perm (har har we'll call this principality Perm, but have it not lastl) was at least a real thing.
>>26800887Bigger is not always better. How much of africa is desert again? Seriously, let's not start there guys, from this source material the GM gave me the place- even with all it's resources looks like a shit hole. I guess the kids pick against for some reason.
>>26801016>Hurr durr I'll change the two warring factions from York and Lancaster to Stark and Lannister and no-one will ever know.
>>26801047At least that makes sense.Also, what's the supposed link between the languages? Estonian and Finnish seem to have very little in common. And Hungarian? And then those various languages in Russia.Was there even any reason for anything in this?
>>26801063Dude, don't get me started on how much of this bullshit reeks of tolkien.
>>26801063Wasn't that the War of the Roses?
>>26800965It's mostly that they agree there is only a single China, they just disagree as to which government is legitimate.
>>26801085Crap wrong war, I mean France and England were always at war then in like the 1800s after a huge ass one, suddenly, we friends now.
>>26801124Oh and Russia is definitely where the fluff guys were getting even lazier than Africa, land of Desert and Grassland. it's like Norway in one part, then BAM tundra and steppes.>>26801076Lots of changes in how people said certain words.
>>26800859Now I wan't to know more, what were the wooden armored sword wielders called? Never heard of them!
>>26801155Don't get me started on Russia. Look at that little spec of land called Sochi. Holy shit. It's like a fucking paradise. I think the GM wants us to start in Russia with how he is handling it. And if you look in the recent history material, the fucker was bigger. >>26801124Dude, at least isn't fucked over with wildlife and land like Australia is. Seriously, that's the last place we need to go. I don't want to do with any of that shit. I mean sure Africa sucks, but Australia? Fuck that noise. Right next door is that fucking peaceful place New Zealand (where the hell is old zealand?!) let's start there. >>26801132No big deal, the fucking source material for this shit is intense. I don't have enough beer for this campaign, especially with the fact that we can really only play humans or occasionally dwarfs.
Why'd you make Croatia look like a kobold eating Bosnia?
>>26801219So I wasn't the only one who saw that.
>>26801199And when they decided to split Russia up, they ran out of ideas halfway through naming the countries that emerged from it, which led to a lot of them having names that end in '-stan'.
>>26801199Uh dude, they're not Dwarves in the fantasy sense... well unless you mean aSoIaF.
>>26801244I mean in that sense. Sadly. I just want a little more diversity, granted the human subdivisions are cool but shit man, can't we have an elf or dwarf or kobold or shit, I would take orcs at this point. Do you have any idea how good a fucking warforged would be in this setting? Also, looking at this, I am pretty sure, there are dragons and the GM isn't talking about them. Like the whole country of switzerland just stinks of "here there be dragons" with all that gold and mountains. Also what the fuck is up with Svalbard and this little fucker called "Sealand?" Or this little US state called "Hawaii?" I just got through the middle east back story and this United States shit is confusing the fuck out of me. Anyone got the story on south america? Region seems pretty cool compared to most of the cluster fuck.
> borders drawn in straight lines> Every second war has "Hurr religion, durr ideology" tagged on> aforementioned WWI BS> Ancient civilizations X, Y and Z? "Oh, they died suddenly, lel, couldn't think of anything so deal with it"
>>26801239The GM just started naming things after himself or his cat, -burg
>>26801284What confuses me is how the U.S. has a shit ton of states, some of them in random ass places, and then this weird hand full of 'territories'. What the fuck OP? I thought it was the United States.
Look, straight line boarders aren't realistic. Real life boarders follow rivers, mountains and other natural barriers. They're not straight lines like you sat down with a ruler alright? Now make that wiggly and shit.
>>26799378Straight line border between "USA" and "Canada" across lakes, mountain ranges and forests? Unrealistic. Fix that shit.
>>267996671E Pangaea sucked. All you have was desert in the middle. Encouter tables were pretty unimaginative too.01-95 10d6 Lystrosaurus96-00 consult special encounter tableSeriously...my players got tired of that so fast, they researched a Summon Meteor so big, it rebooted the fucking planet.
Also, that Pacific Ocean's a waste of valuable space. Put another landmass in there so your players won't tire of flying/sailing over ocean/ocean/ocean for like...3 straight sessions.
>>26801509>doesn't know about the line of cut trees.This nigga can't be serious.
GM didn't even finish naming everything>"Central African Republic"lazy shit, i am disappoint
>>26801538It's there for the "East/West" dichotomy that's never really explained and never comes up. I think it's essentially an artifact of a lost expansion or some trashed piece of fluff.
>>26801509>he doesn't know that Canada and the US actually have posts and clearcut entire sections of land to form an actual border. And that it's not even remotely straight.Lul
>>26801539Never been to a place 8000 miles from where I am, so yup, I'm very serious.
>>26801538How would ever get your PCs to fight giant squid if you didn't make them cross a Goddamned ocean now and again?
"U R Gay"
>>26801617Giant squid encounters are mostly Atlantic anyway, according to the Expansion Sourcebook with Newfoundland in it. And too high CR for parties that can't fly yet. I assume those Humboldt Squid off the West coast of North America are the mid-level, aquatic baddies at least according to Monster Manual: Aquatica.
>>26801538A footnote in one of the recent campaign packets said something about massive islands of trash forming there, so I guess they're planning to introduce a goblin nation?
So I was looking at the bestiary for this Australia area.Holy shit, what kind of shit DM designed this place? I'm seeing so many bullshit monsters here. Hell, one day it's giant rats that kick your face in, next day we get killed by a swarm of poisonous spiders, birds, and everything. And then there's this...shit, platypus thing? I can't even tell what I'm looking at. A beaverduck thing? Oh, and of course the shit DM makes this thing stab you with neurotoxin. Why the fuck not?
>>26801629So now the GM is confirmed as immature fuck. Can this map get any worse?
>>26801076>>Estonian and Finnish seem to have very little in commonIt's the same language, except Estonian is spoken with a red clown nose.
>>26799913That sounds like the perfect place to put the last boss or a kingdom of undead. I mean, anyone who grows up there must be some sort of badass, right?
>>26801838I just read that book man... what the fuck. The people that live there apparently don't give a fuck. I can only assume they will get massive bonuses/immunities to poisons, fear and a number of other things. Unbalanced as fuuuuck.
>>26801838Oh and lets not forget they lay eggs... that's right it's suposedly a mamal and lays egs, just like this shit right here, named after the mother of monsters.
>>26801838The GM guide has campaigns graded by difficulty. The modern ones anyway.Starter-easymode: Fennoscandia, western Europe, Japan, Canada, New Zeland.Easymode: USA, rest of Europe, parts of Asia.Rough mode: Russia, Central and south America, Greenland, India, Parts of China.Hardmode: rest of china, rest of Asia, parts of the Middle East. Also parts of Middle-south America.Fuck the players-mode: Africa, most of the middle east.Special mode with easymode access to tech, gear, information and medics, but with the environment rules fucked over until only the insane are willing to try: Austalia. For specialised players only. ("Fuck off, we're full!")
>>26801967D-did the badger die?
>>26800678Size bonuses to dodge. They can't hit something that small for shit.
>>26802009>>26801999It's a badger. It's the only thing in existence that can fight its own weight in bees and win. The badger is fine.
>>26801984You will be poisoned by an egg-laying mammal mode: Australia.
>>26802034Poison not meant to kill mind you. Poison that specifically is meant to cause as much pain as possible.
>>26799273>Russia>getting invaded every single fucking century>all of them defeated>russian people are tryhard angsty grimdark hardass people to the maxGUESS WHICH NATION IS GM'S SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE>Vladimir Putin>former special agent>knows kung-fu>badass all aroundoh great, a fucking self-insert. Fuck you.
>>26799273why the hell the usa guys call themselfs america?How other players will know if they are talking about USA or america continent, when they use the word
>>26799986>Pangea -> PengaeaYou have to be kidding me
Rolled 45>>26802138They got rekkt by the mongols.
>>26802141Because in general the continents are referred to in the plural.
>>26802182Yeah, that's only a background story.
Okay, I just skimmed thorugh the background lore of North and South America.They created a shit ton of different civilizations and cultures, some at their time more advanced than those of Europe.Some of them basically elves, but very bloodthirsty, wars up the ass.Human Sacrifices, sciences and shit.And then they threw the whole thing to the shitter.Apparently they wanted to throw in more "oh so gritty dark and edgy" and had all of those civilizations just murdered and enslaved.Come on, this setting has so much creative decay it's unbelievable.Great setting of different adventures thrown away, now the whole South America holds no meaning whatsoever.Might as well be ocean which additionally this world has too much.
Why the fuck didn't the countries in Europe just invade Japan and China in the "middle ages" (nice naming faggot)? They had like iron man amouring technology against some manlet faggets in wool and leather, they would have raped them. I mean obviously you had no problem doing that in South America. Who never invented the WHEEL???? How the FUCK can you not invent the wheel, it's literally the most basic technology there is.This setting is totally unbelievable.
>Papua New GuineaWhere's Old Guinea? You need to think your shit through properly
>European//North African Backstory>RELIGIOUS WAR>RELIGIOUS WAR>RELIGIOUS WARWe get it faggot, you hate religion.
>>26799273Those are some bullshit names that you just made up on the spot. Totally immersion-breaking, that's not how naming nations works faggot.
This thread needs to be archived so that whenever someone complains about a custom setting map, they know they are being a faggot.
>>26802483The most stupid thing in the whole setting is this "Christianity".I mean sure, nice premise for a campaign if you choose to play during the first and second centuries.(By the way the whole time counting is retarded. Before Christ, Anno Domini? First substract years until you hit 0 and then add? To make things more messy, there are several other ways of counting years.)But then it goes full retard by making majority of the Europe and North America follow the religion.It isn't even one of the interesting ones.This is trying to be too realistic at times, which is jarring because so much implausible politics happen.
>>26802661Also if you read the fluff it seems this "Jesus" guy was actually born 4-5 years AFTER 0AD. Lazy editing right there
Just read up on modern history of the "USA", its based around materialistic consumerism culture, and everyone in the country keeps shooting each other. But get this the government totally lets them do this and claim its the peoples "rights".Lol, and best of all they are supposed to be the "the most powerful nation"This is bullshit, who honestly would play this shit?
>>26802661You do realize that there are other systems of counting time like Anno Hiragae, Ab Urbe Condita, Samsavartas, the Kooki system of Samurailand, Being just a few, and all are massively different than the Anno Domini/Common Era one.
>>26802685Same level of Stupidity is the creator's pet Israel.They're allowed to do what they please, because they just bring up the genocide."Hurr we have the right for this land because we lived here thousands of years ago and then we moved away but now we want back. You cant deny this because then you surely hate us, don't forget the genocide."
>>26802710Yeah I know, they clearly though this would add depth to the whole setting but it's just convoluted as fuck.It's a game, no need to make shit so clandestine.
>read history>tiny-ass Germany conquered almost entirety of Europe and other parts as wellThat's unrealistic as fuck. What, the other countries were busy smashing dicks or what? That could never happen.Now why Russia hasn't conquered the entire world yet is the actual mystery.
And the Germans! Got plundered during the war, massive emigration of intellectuals, everyone hates them, and ten years later their economy is alright again?
>>26802764Uh dude it wasn't Germany, that was part of what said conquering thing was part of.If you want to get technical it was tiny ass Belgium.
>>26800965>You've got black hair and brown eyes unless you start of of European descent. Great.And people claim only having people of European descent around is not diverse...
>>26802804Even then it's more likely to be black hair and brown eyes.>>26802783And crap, I guess they were talking about Germany during that WWI pt 2 bullshit.
>>26800965>Stockholm/Finland>The chance of being me is about the same as being a noble in the 1600th century.Feels good man.
>>26802961we have nobular statistics for the years 160,000-160,100?
>>26800489/pol/ please leave
>>26799843>Play the congo
I fucking love you /tg/
>>26800489Well sort of, nationalism was present in map-making in that map-makers tended to put their country in the middle of the map, which is part of why a lot of maps tend to center near Germany, because a lot of map makers were from there so it became "standard."The real reason that the sizes were distorted wasn't because map-makers wanted to stick it to brown people, it's because Mercator is actually a pretty damn good projection for navigation. If you're using a map to sail a ship (or fly a plane maybe*) then a Mercator projection is probably what you want to use.So because of that it gained widespread acceptance. The issue is of course that it was put up in schoolrooms and used as a standard map for everyone, and unless they're schools that teach navigation then they completely misrepresent actual sizes, which for most applications is more important then having straight rhumb lines or being conformal in any way really.Equal-area maps would just be so much better for classroom and standard usage. Gall-Peters is the most commonly used of these, and so should probably be promoted, but personally I like the hobo-dyer a little better, I just prefer the look. Honestly though if Mercator is going to be overtaken by anything it'll be plate carrée, just because equirectangular works so damn well for digital applications of any kind. That's fine, because while it's not equal-area, plate carrée has a lot less area distortion, so it's helpful there as well.*I don't know much about flight navigation, but I assume the same properties (conformal, straight rhumb lines) that make Mercator good in sea navigation would be useful for flight as well.
>>26804752As a Navigator, I can back up that the Mercator projection is pretty boss. Gnomonic a shit
>>26802775That's nothing compared to Japan. Xenophobic militant bastards for years, then in the last few years of the setting they turn into the primary cultural exporter of cute girls and pornography.What the fuck happened to them? They were better as an island nation of barbarians or as the Britain of Asia.
>>26804752I used to do a fair bit of flying, and you would rather use nautical charts, VNCs, TACs and so on. However, I never flew long range, and would assume that if flying by the seat of your pants over a long range, a Mercator would be decent compared to other full global projections.
Lol only one playable race, nice variation there GM
>>26805152Dude did you notice their technology sector? Japan's obviously being set up for a robot revolution, maybe the robo-girlfriends will want to stop being used as a kitchen
>>26805696Oh don't get me started on that. For thousands of years you have these Neanderthal guys, big strong and smart with massive disease resistance, and they get driven extinct by the weaker Homo Sapiens. It's really disgusting when the only way a gm can think of to make their favored race look good is to tear down a more interesting one
>>26805152After they won WW2 they really had no more need to be warlike and could just kick back and have fun.
>>26805792What's so important about hat damn war anyway? It's not a world war anyway, Mars didn't even invade
>>26805819It was the last real war where great powers could fight each other. Then nukes happened and now the only wars left are great powers bullying lesser nations, or lesser nations fighting amongst themselves.
>>26799848why not inhabited by bears? heck, why are none of the countries inhabited by bears, wtf GM?
>IndiaOkay, so apparently this nation pretty much gets it's own fucking subcontinent or something (named the Indian subcontinent hurr durr). And it's got this weird tumor area that's barely connected to the rest of the nation. How has that Bangle place or Burma/Myanmar (Which is it? I don't know, they even use both names at times) not taken that place over?And apparently there's some country that's just randomly in the middle of South Africa. How does that even happen? Africa's borders in general are just a mess.
>>26801538I can't tell if he sneezed on the map or if it's intentional, but it almost looks like there's an island chain right in the middle.And the United States have it for some fucking reason, despite not being united with the rest of the country. What the hell.
>>26806115It's called Hawaii and they invented a sport where you paddle out to sea with a plank and then stand on it
>>26806508Creativity is cool and all, but sometimes you need to take a step back, look at what you wrote, and ask yourself "is this fucking retarded?"
>>26805819>Mars didn't even invade
>>26805696>Whites>Blacks>Asians>Irish>Slavs>NativesThere are plenty of races.
>Greenland and IcelandYou're just fucking with your players now.
>>26806649>NativesYou must not be keeping up with the newest edition m8. Now Native just means your player is from the same country that his race originated in.What you want is aborigines. Although that's being phased out for the upcoming Political Core expansion.
Playing a character whose skill specialties are tied up in drink petro is not my idea of a good time, or anyone's really.
>>26799273>leaving out Antarctica>leaving out the ice caps
>>26806750shit, here's the properly cropped version
>>26806649Too much race mixing by the late 20th century and beyond, in my opinion.How the fuck do you keep all the core racial abilities balanced?
>>26802138OUR CAUSE IS JUSTVICTORY WILL BE OURS
>>26805792Well I suppose they WERE the empire of the rising sun and I suppose a sun DID rise on them so to speak. Twice.
>>26800965Taiwan claiming the entire PRC is just the beginning. They also claim all of Mongolia and parts of Myannmar, Bhutan, India, Japan, Russia, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Tajikistan.
>>26806910Aside from China and Mongolia, they only claim small little corners here and there.
>>26806931That almost makes it worse. How do they expect to get China back when they alienate all their potential allies with petty claims?
>>26806661You think that's bad? I've been reading up on all those -stans.According to his made up language, stan means "land". Land of the Kazakhs, Land of the Afghans.And then of course, there's Pakistan. Which is apparently an acronym. Because everyone knows country names work like that. And it just so happens to mean "Land of the Pure" as well. And then people use "Paki" as an insult.How is going around calling people "pure" an insult? This setting's awful.
>>26802138Check out his inventory. Where the fuck did he get a "superbowl ring +1"?
>>26806649Blacks. +4 to running checks and a +1 speed to boot. Dafuq is that all about? And gets Intimidate as a bonus class skill?
>>26807532There are mammals in Africa that run as fast as a car, I'd learn to run fast really fucking quickly too if I lived there.
>>26799343You know what's pretty interesting? Greenland looks huge in that map but it's actually less 1/3 of Australia's size which looks extremely tiny due to the projection used.
>Britain>Little Archipelago conquers half the goddamn world>Loses it allGoddammit OP. At least stay consistent with your damn Space Filling Empires. You already had the Russian Empire/Soviet Union, why did you need for this tiny island to nearly rule the world?Also, USA is too big. It should suffer a civil war or something to break it up. Maybe political/social/economic problems? I think there's an article about the southern part having slaves and the north being pissy about that and interfering with the souths shit. You could use that. And a giant rainforest that takes up more than half a nation? Why not just make the rainforest its own damn nation with elves? Brazil is stupid, but I love the little story about columbus. Fucker thinks he's found INDIA of all places when he finds the western continents. Hilarious
The fuck? The line between Canada and America looks really lazy. Is there some kind of wall between America and the Northlands?
>>26801181Not sure what their warriors were called, but apparently their swords were called catanas.I think my GM just got lazy after watching too many lolcats.
>>26799273>footbinding>gay pedophilia>transsexualsAsia was obviously somebody's magical realm. Can you even play a serious, non-ERP game set there?
>>26800921>>26800911He'd probably just finished Thanksgiving lunch and, being a fat fucking neckbeard like all those who live in Yankieland, he was still hungry.
Lol just read the statlines for the "Jew" religion they're fucking shit, the only positive isbeing adept and bank management. As if anyone has time for that ingmae
>>26808455>gay pedophiliaYou haven't heard about Greece yet, huh? Or read the Decadence of Rome splat?
Why the fuck do the two largest religions and a third minor one all come from the same damn region? It's like OP is trying to make a place that's caught up in never ending holy wars. Can you even get blessings from your god if you play a paladin in this game?
Holy shit, compare the modern beastiary to the one for "prehistoric" games. The stats on those things are fucking crazy. How the fuck cam you even beat a dimetrodon? I understand having legendary creatures, but that thing could kill a Tarrasque in one round.
>>26801651>He hasn't looked up the spirit monsters that occupy the area.Basically, take all the giant monsters from the atlantic, give them magic and resistances to everything. And then make the fuckers smarter than the PC's. Its fucking game breaking.
>>26801984>He thinks New Zealand is easy mode. Sure, if your players aren't retarded enough to piss off the stupid amount of nature spirits and shit that live there. Then you get a giant eagle that carries people off to eat. Jesus, fuck that.
>Entire continent covers the southern pole>No one has any claims thereYou could've at least put some beastmen down their OP. Like fucking bear-people or something, but noooooo, it's just huge penguins on their epic journey to mate and raise young, and empty wastelands. Talk about wasted space
>>26800907nah, its a sausagecant they think up a new modifierseriously how many completely different things are they calling 'pudding'
>>26810079>tea is water pudding>meat is chewy pudding>bread is munchy pudding>chips are crunchy pudding>vegetables are green pudding
>>26808174>It should suffer a civil war or something to break it up.Did you even read the setting chapter? They already had one ABOUT THE EXACT ISSUE YOU BROUGHT UP. But then afterwards they just went right back to normal.Jesus, it's comic book levels of status-quo in here.
>>26810274And then the former slaves get their rights after one of them makes the corniest speech ever. "I have a dream" Really? You're going to go that blatant about making these civil rights people white knights?
Well you guys seem to be critical of this setting, but personally I think it's pretty deep and realistic.Just have to start at the beginning and follow it through with a global mindset.
So, anybody check out this tree that is supposed to be an obstacle? Apparently it has poisonous leaves, bark, and fucking spikes on it. And it's fruit explodes. Not a 'poof' explosion, it explodes and sends out shrapnel. Clearly, they are a symbol of hatred for a particular area by the local deities.
>>26810147im serious, roast batter is puddingsteamed cake is puddingbread poached in milk is puddingblood in guts is puddingfat in guts is puddingthey need to come up with new terms for them allalso, why does the rest of the UK not just kick out the southerners, they've got nothing in common with the rest of the kingdoms
>>26810383The fuck are you talking about?
>>26802194>The Europes>The Asias>The Africas
>autosageNew thread? Maybe this time with a focus on a specific country/region/time period?
Has anyone read up about this guy Genghis Khan? The guy who reckt Russia. Turns out character gen in the 'modern' era has a 1/3 chance of having a direct blood relation to him. I mean, how much sex can one man have?
>>26811345is that a challenge
Guys this is hilarious. If you look at the EXTENSIVE lists drawn up in the fluff (too much free time on the creator's part), you'll see that some leader characters are actually animals. Some mayor of some place in Texas is a 'beer drinking goat'.
>>26808455And what is with all the various spirits that have sex with you before murdering you?
>>26811515It's to promote fidelity and abstinence before marriage. Simple.
>>26811548Well it didn't work and now I am missing a spleen.Why is healing so hard to come by in this shit game? Think I have about an hour or two to survive unless I can get the DM to agree to houserules.
>>26811578Shouldn't a day or two of bedrest heal it up? That's the rules my GM has been going by.
>>26808247No, that's who runs that part of russia.It's mini atheist israel.Apparently one wasn't enough.Also, plot hole! That was around during WWII! Why didn't the jews go there?
>>26811614No, our GM thinks everything has to be 'dark' and 'gritty' and 'realistic' He is such a 'that gm' he won't let me roll up a new character until everyone else dies.Pretty sure he is planning to use the Valhalla supplement after that.
>>26811628Because they should have been given part of Germany instead, in reparation to them. However, instead of that, the remaining Jews (most of which were hardened, jaded people) invaded Palestine and occupied it, turning it into Israel, an Apartheid state that treats Palestinians as second-rate citizens within their own country.
So I just read about this place called the Congo, apparently they're in the middle of a ginourmous civil war where there's bandit armies pillaging the countryside while its neighbors steal its natural resources and everyone with a gun is raping every man woman and cow they can get their hands on. Op even 40k isn't this grimdark tone it down you pervert