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  • File :1222416815.jpg-(898 KB, 1006x632, Image13.jpg)
    898 KB Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:13 No.2668891  
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:14 No.2668900
    sluxs to be you lol!
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:14 No.2668901
    cage traps and quickly
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:15 No.2668904
    Yes. It sluxs, lol.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:16 No.2668914
    Only one question. Did you make everything out of wood?

    Baring that if you throw enough wardogs at him he'll die through self immolation due to the burning pile of dogs he is sitting on.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:17 No.2668916
    Raise the bridge. Dragons in DF can't fly
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:19 No.2668928
    The correct answer is to take those 40 idle dorfs, activate them, and send them in a massed, unskilled charge.

    The dragon won't stand a chance.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:19 No.2668931

    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:20 No.2668936
    That bridge is over a brook. The dragon can walk over it.

    also: what operating system are you using OP?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:21 No.2668937
    Isn't that a brook? Why the fuck did you build a bridge over it? It's traversable terrain.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:22 No.2668941
    Dude, just have a marksdwarf unload is gyro-stablized, fully-automatic sniper machinegun/crossbow loaded with heart-seeking shape-charge, armor peircing, hollow-pit bolts.

    Seriously, just shoot the thing, Megabeasts are fucking lame in DF.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:23 No.2668947
    It's just a dragon. Don't be a pussy.

    No seriously, it's only a dragon. In terms of sources of danger to your fort, it's barely in the top ten. It might put a dent in your army, but you'll be fine. Grow a pair and meet him on the field of battle.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:23 No.2668950
    sluxs lol
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:24 No.2668954
    Ballistas will miss unless you have a great+ operator, but they will always deal insane damage if they hit.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:29 No.2668968
    Eh, not everything. Just some furniture.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:31 No.2668974
    Okay... getting mah men in position.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:31 No.2668977
    That fucking Dragon doesn't move.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:34 No.2668987
         File :1222418069.jpg-(25 KB, 407x405, AdviceDog.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:34 No.2668988
    What's better (indepedently of quality): Bone or Wooden crossbows?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:35 No.2668993

    No difference. The material used in crossbow construction only affects their damage when they're used like hammers in close combat.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:36 No.2669001
         File :1222418217.jpg-(108 KB, 271x280, Image14.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:38 No.2669005
         File :1222418283.png-(6 KB, 303x144, sluxslol.png)
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    Sluxs lol!
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:39 No.2669012
         File :1222418364.jpg-(66 KB, 224x232, Image15.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:39 No.2669015
         File :1222418384.jpg-(18 KB, 276x248, x.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:40 No.2669019
         File :1222418400.jpg-(19 KB, 276x248, xx.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:41 No.2669022
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:42 No.2669028
         File :1222418565.jpg-(75 KB, 294x298, Image16.jpg)
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    This fucking MORON missed three times in a row, and the fourth shot didn't do anything to the Dragon...
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:43 No.2669032
    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:44 No.2669034
         File :1222418659.jpg-(163 KB, 442x254, Image17.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:45 No.2669037
    Dude, what's with the fancy arrow? You actually bothered to open up Photoshop and fuck with shapes/filters instead of opening up MS Paint and shitting out a crudely shapen arrow/phallus?

    Way too much effort for a DF screenshot.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:46 No.2669046
         File :1222418769.jpg-(3 KB, 147x121, unfunf.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:47 No.2669053
         File :1222418835.jpg-(248 KB, 468x346, Image18.jpg)
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    Yay, finally a guy who can keep up with the Dragon. He actually managed to hurt it and make it bleed.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:48 No.2669058
    Well, no idea. I always have Paint Shop open so blah.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:48 No.2669061
    At least he died happy in a glorious one-sided battle. Look at that smile.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:48 No.2669062
    Shit. Well, when in doubt throw more men at it.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:49 No.2669070
         File :1222418978.jpg-(289 KB, 446x400, Image19.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:49 No.2669071
    Thats just the effect that having all expressive flesh blasted off your face by fire.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:51 No.2669077
    yo dawg i put a dragon in yo fort so you can rage while you burn
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:53 No.2669081
         File :1222419189.jpg-(67 KB, 235x450, Image20.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:53 No.2669084
    Yes he is, oh glorious DF how you can fuck things up!
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:55 No.2669094
    Actually, it's a she. The Dragon is female. Once I killed it, my Dwarves are going to fucking rape the shit out of the corpse.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:57 No.2669105
         File :1222419420.jpg-(141 KB, 449x399, Image21.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:57 No.2669107
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:58 No.2669108
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:58 No.2669110
         File :1222419505.jpg-(49 KB, 465x465, Image22.jpg)
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    Hah, dumpshit fell down. Now it's gonna get what it deserves.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:58 No.2669113
    this dragon is made of epic encounter and win damage
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)04:59 No.2669115
         File :1222419564.jpg-(57 KB, 483x428, Image23.jpg)
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    You fucking MORON...
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:01 No.2669121

    Oh shit, get the fuck outta there! What are you doing?! Go, get the fuck outta there you stupid idiot. Fuck, you're all dead! Get the FUCK OUT
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:01 No.2669122
         File :1222419683.jpg-(40 KB, 313x317, Image24.jpg)
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    Hah, awesome. They're actually fighting it while drowning. The battle goes on.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:01 No.2669123
    O god. It's wrong towards the OP, but fuck, this dragon is making my day. It's literally making it's purpose in life that of being an utter arse as far as I see it. And it's SUPER EFFECTIVE.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:05 No.2669137
    They're still fighting, I hope that they can finish her off before they drown.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:07 No.2669150
    OP, thank you for sharing this with us. You made my fucking night.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:08 No.2669155
         File :1222420133.jpg-(63 KB, 355x340, Image25.jpg)
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    Wait, where fuck did it go? I can't find that Dragon.
    I even checked the list of invaders, the Dragon is not listed there, it didn't even give me the message "Slöl Sluxlol has been struck down" or something. What the fuck?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:10 No.2669163

    Deeper level with lava and demons. You're fucked.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:16 No.2669189
    Wait for it...
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:21 No.2669210
    Yeah! Same shit happened to me with a Titan I mistakenly set free in my fortress.

    The fucker met the full force of my military, and it just vanished. No corpse, no record on the unit list, nothing.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:22 No.2669212
         File :1222420920.jpg-(25 KB, 350x300, Image27.jpg)
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    HAH. This fuckfart.

    For her corpse shall never be found.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:22 No.2669214
    It probably drowned. Check the corpse lists in the stocks menu or scroll through the deceased units list.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:26 No.2669230
         File :1222421181.jpg-(141 KB, 332x486, Image29.jpg)
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    The aftermath.

    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:32 No.2669261
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:33 No.2669265
         File :1222421602.jpg-(47 KB, 162x450, Image30.jpg)
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    Great, now the flood is heading to my fort.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:35 No.2669274
    The dragon is dead, but its going to take everyone else with it.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:48 No.2669347
    Well, if Dwarf Fortress wasn't this fucking awesome, I'd be now cursing and swearing for hours, like I do when I play Dungeon Crawl.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:49 No.2669355
    Start digging your way out NAO. I assume that your entrances are cut off?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:50 No.2669356
    That slucks, haha.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:52 No.2669368
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:55 No.2669385
         File :1222422941.jpg-(84 KB, 284x227, Image31.jpg)
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    Also: This is why I hate sculpture gardens.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:57 No.2669390
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)05:58 No.2669394
    You see you set them up on a bridge so when idiots walk in the bridge is set to drop them into a pit that is constantly filling and pumping out water.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)06:56 No.2669532

    Fix'd for DF's sake.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)07:00 No.2669540
    >> Lady !yjS7Nj9Mpo 09/26/08(Fri)07:07 No.2669555
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)07:41 No.2669639
    Dwarf Fortress: most epic perpetual train wreck among games, ever.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:11 No.2669731
    I fucking hate how Military Dwarves do whatever the fuck they want.
    Sometimes, in the middle of a siege, they simply fuck off and get a drink or go back to sleep.
    I mean what the shit is that about? Fuck.
    Niggerfuck. Triple AIDS fuck!
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:29 No.2669770
    I no longer see the military dorfs as a reliable, well trained force. Instead I see them as Apocalypse Now-style GIs, drafted into a job they hate, just trying to stay alive, shirking and hiding as best they can.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:31 No.2669775
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:32 No.2669777
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:40 No.2669791
    Not the other guy, but when I tried giving my dorfs waterskins they decided to fill them up immediately....from the carp-infested river instead ofthe nearby ponds. Lost two of my military dorfs that way, out of 8. Then I made the entire river Restricted with a cost of 100. And they STILL went to the river.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:43 No.2669800
    That river must be made of beer.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:45 No.2669807
    When you say ponds do you mean murky pools or actual designated ponds?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:47 No.2669811
    smallish bodies of water at least one zlevel deep designated as water sources
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:47 No.2669812
    This makes me hope all the more for booze to be a flowing liquid so I can make a beer moat.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:48 No.2669813
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:50 No.2669819
    If they're murky pools dorfs will ignore them for fresh water. They don't want to drink muddy, brown water.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:50 No.2669820
    This is a very good thread.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:50 No.2669821
         File :1222433416.jpg-(394 KB, 1280x1024, dorf.jpg)
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    My fortress just recovered from a tantrum spiral. down to 18 from 146, though i've got a few (obviously hesitant) migrant waves, which boosted my population to 42. A human messenger got beat up by a tantruming dwarf, and left the fortress unhappy. It wasn't long until a human force of 20 wrestlers/archers assaulted my keep, only to be killed by a hallway of weapon traps. Their weapons will be of good use.

    I'm making steady recovery, though my migrant cheese-makers had to grab a pick since all my miners died in the brawls.

    Right now, i'm making a tower to overlook the entrance of my fortress, with plans for a marksdorf group in the future. I'm also digging graves for everyone who died. 3x3 rooms, it's the least those bastards deserve.

    Pic related. that's my dining hall, filled with abandoned clothing.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:51 No.2669823
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:51 No.2669825
    >down to 18 from 146
    Must have been some popular dwarves.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:52 No.2669827

    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:52 No.2669828
    Actually, the least they deserve is nothing at all. Since the tantrum spiral is over, it's safe to say that most of the Dorfs with friends are now dead. This means you can safely just dump the corpses in a pit and get on with your life.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:52 No.2669832
    I shed a single tear of joy at the thought of a beer moat.

    Man, what if we get blood as a flowing liquid? BLOOD MOAT.

    Hopefully not vomit, though. Vomit moat sounds really bad.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:54 No.2669841
    pff dragons are weak.
    most of the time they will kill themselves with the fires they have set.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:55 No.2669842
         File :1222433731.png-(462 KB, 1024x768, 1220561541993.png)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)08:58 No.2669851
         File :1222433912.jpg-(248 KB, 1280x1024, gobbos.jpg)
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    I don't like the idea of dead dorfs without tombs. besides, i can't make graves for the new dead if i have a hundred waiting already, and i don't feel like designating them by hand


    How the hell do i get rid of these guys?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:03 No.2669870
    A few of them were married. They were killed by goblin bolts because they were all loitering around the entrance when a goblin ambush struck (3 groups, actually)
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:03 No.2669875
    Graves? Dump them in a pit. Be effecient. Like a German.

    You could build an execution chamber for them. Or, alternately, you could throw them in the same pit that the 100+ dead dorfs are getting thrown in.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:04 No.2669878
    OP here.

    The entire surrounding grassland is covered in vomit, blood, a mix of both, and even more vomit.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:05 No.2669889
    How do such small people produce so much vomit?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:11 No.2669903
    watersupply zones only.
    USE 'EM
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:29 No.2669970
    Well, it's not just the Dwarves. The Goblins also love to vomit. Even the Dragon did it.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:38 No.2669992
    Just today, my Captain of the Guard - and the only competent hammerdwarf in my fortress, thus the only one worthy of my artifact warhammer - suffocated. In his bed, in the barracks, while he was asleep.

    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:40 No.2669998
    LOLWUT. Maybe his upper body was severaly wounded and he gave in?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:41 No.2669999
    We need a drawfag to draw Slol Sluxlol as embodiment of all the dickery in dwarf fortress.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:42 No.2670004
         File :1222436539.jpg-(55 KB, 1280x1024, durr.jpg)
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    I have the lamest artifacts ever
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:44 No.2670012
    God, I can't stop lol'ing over that. It's somewhat iconic for adventure mode too, for the characters and their victims to have turn-based crotch-kneeing contests, followed by distance barfing bouts. Very dorf-like, as well; if it moves, hammer it in the abdomen.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:44 No.2670013
    It's likely he had severe injuries and went to bed to rest but succumbed to his injuries.

    Maybe you should have made him a decent armor/shield dorf too.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:46 No.2670015
    Now that I remember to look at the originan subject of the thread, I can't help but lol some more. Dragon comes in, fortress DROWNS. Tzeentch, anyone?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:46 No.2670016
    >Neversquirted, an Iron Ring
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:46 No.2670020
    "We're putting the band back together"
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)09:47 No.2670023
    Neversquirted... hmm, magical dwarven contraceptive?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:24 No.2670125
    In all my time on 4chan, I have never LoL'd so hard on any thread. Ever. God, i love you /tg/
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:30 No.2670143
    Agreed. I tried to find some more dorfan fortan threads on 4chan archive, but failed. Is there a different /tg/ archive site, or have people just not fukken save'd these awesome threads of dwarven misery?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:38 No.2670163
         File :1222439891.gif-(47 KB, 384x369, Slol_Sluxslol.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:40 No.2670173
    A dragon just appeared at my fortress. For some reason it threw itself into the local volcano. No attacking of dorfs, no burninating things, just straight into the volcano. WTF??
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:42 No.2670181

    You are not Shitashi.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:47 No.2670202
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    Awesome story op.
    So archive this people
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:47 No.2670206
         File :1222440475.jpg-(132 KB, 1194x824, SlolSlukslolthedickerydragon.jpg)
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    Here you go, until a drawfag decides to do it properly.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:48 No.2670210
    They think they are lava resistant lawl.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:50 No.2670212
    It probably selected one of the volcano dwelling creatures as it's target. Not realizing that it was not immune to magma.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:55 No.2670233

    But the entrance to my fortress was nowhere near the volcano, and other than the occasional fire snake, there's no creatures in the volcano...
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:57 No.2670237
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)10:59 No.2670243
    its the doing of the dragon fire immune tag. Dragon fire immune makes it immune to its own fire so it doesn't roast itself when spiting fire. It implies fire immune which doesn't do anything without proper temperature settings on the creature but makes it think it is immune to lava. This is defiantly in the vein of DF logic as a dragon can breath fire but dies if near stuff that is ON FIRE.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)11:49 No.2670471
    Blud maot is easily acheived by just having a normal moat filled with water and dropping dead things into it.

    Hasta be a fresh kill though, during the aftermath of a seige, I take off the valuable metal bits from the dead goblin soldiers and dump/designate everything else into the fucking moat. MAOT RUNS RED WITH BLOOD.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)11:54 No.2670492
    Shit, can you imagine being a human trader come to the place to trade your goods and you cross over scorched landscape littered with old goblin corpses and a moat with so much blood in the water that it's red?

    I'd turn around and leave.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)12:08 No.2670559
    Did you have magma forges and such? If so, it may have used pathfinding and thought "hey, I can get to the cream filling if I sneak through that tunnel of red jello"
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)12:34 No.2670655
    Drawfag here, working on despiction of the memorable Sluxlol floodpit fight.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)12:35 No.2670663
    Traps. 5-6 stone fall traps are pretty much a guaranteed kill, as is a cage trap.

    That's why you have a 20x3 weapon trap corridor at your entrance.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)12:39 No.2670677

    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:02 No.2671100
         File :1222452142.jpg-(94 KB, 1055x769, Sem Título-1.jpg)
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    drawfaggotry done!
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:03 No.2671102
    another drawfag here, requesting a description of one scene you would like to see drawn
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:03 No.2671105

    Fuck awesome.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:05 No.2671113

    So much more kickass than mine. Then again, I don't expect much from a combination of MSPaint and poor to none drawfag skills.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:09 No.2671123
    Today I decided to test my new artificial volcano.
    Pumps getting magma from depths of the earth were made from resistant materials - bauxite, iron and nickel silver. Pumping system was already tested before. It was safe - even though it wasn't all covered in hatches to stop magma.
    I decided to use it to fill small hole I built.
    I deconstructed some of the walls around to put floodgate there - of course magma resistant one.
    But then I've seen my fail. Not dorf scale fail ("WHAT IS THIS RED THING RUSHING THROUGH DINING ROOM?") though. Magma fell through stairs and started burning my axles and mechanisms. It melted mechanism supporting entire pump tower, which then promptly deconstructed...
    I learned 2 things:
    Use bauxite mechanism as support
    Quadruple-check everything before you do something dwarfy.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:12 No.2671137
    >Quadruple-check everything before you do something dwarfy.
    No if you double check you are doing it wrong.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:13 No.2671142
    This image is brilliant. It captures the very essence of Dwarf Fortress.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:18 No.2671163

    I like how, in both of these, Slol is grinning.

    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:19 No.2671170
    If you're careful enough, you can simply use wood and stone for all your parts.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:22 No.2671180
    Not grimdark enough to be essence of dorf fort.
    Lacks madness, fire, magma, guts, massacred puppies, dorf babies acting like shields, epic fails killing millions, "fuck the world" lever and dying nobles.
    If all of this could be crammed into one horrible image it would depict dwarf fortress.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:23 No.2671185
    Won't wooden pump heat up when pumping?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:32 No.2671231
    You don't seem to know how dwarf fortress works.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:39 No.2671270
    Try this: Make a kitchen out of ice (water). Then make the kitchen cook a meal.

    The kitchen will melt into a puddle.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:42 No.2671288

    You're welcome.

    Personally, I love Dorf Fortress because of the epic stories that come of it because of the immense amount of risk there is from a few dwarves trying to eke out an existence in a world filled with hostility. It is like the old european sagas of heroes and monsters, but with more 'everything dies catastrophically' in it.

    I haven't played it myself, but will try sometime this weekend.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:43 No.2671291
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    This is my impression of the incident.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)14:50 No.2671324

    If you're unlucky, it will be like Beowulf, and its mother shall arrive shortly.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)15:00 No.2671393
    I'm playing Dwarf Fortress right now. It's been a year now and still there's no sight of immigrants.

    Everything's going very well. Boringly well. Nothing is happening.

    I suppose I just need some kind of project to keep the dorfs and myself occupied. Any ideas of what to do?
    My seven beginner dorfs have these main skills: miner, mason/engraver, stone crafter/mechanic, grower/cook/brewer, fisherdwarf, woodcutter/carpenter, administrator/architect.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)15:07 No.2671444
    Carve out 400 bedrooms for your next immigrant wave. They show up in massive numbers when your not expecting them.

    Your cheese, potash, and lye makers will make great soldiers. Build some fortifications for them.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)15:08 No.2671453

    Why the hell didn't I think of that?
    brb, putting my miner and engraver to slave-level work.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)15:10 No.2671470
    Well I do have about 300 rooms, but I guess another 100 wouldn't hurt. Also, I already have in-fort fortifications from where my future marksdwarves can fire alongst a long corridor in case anything gets past the stone traps at the entrance.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)15:11 No.2671479
    make a glass house for your future mayor with a tower that pumps water up and out onto the glass house.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)15:18 No.2671513
    S'pose I could. Gonna need to keep that brewer brewing though. Don't want any sober dorfs working, now do we?

    Some time in the future probably. I haven't really mastered the art of pumps and pipes and all that and I suppose you would need metal parts in order to do that as well as a glassmaker, neither of which I have.

    Congratulations on your breed of communist dorfs.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)16:00 No.2671765
    dragons think they are magmaproof.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)17:19 No.2672355
    What is that brown stone you're digging into? Mudstone? Bleh.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)17:23 No.2672415
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    I don't know about your dwarves but I would not want to sleep in a room that looks like it was dug out of solid crap.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)17:24 No.2672416
    Look Dwarves, I didn't have rough gems the first time one of you decided to make an artifact, why would it be any different the next five times?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)17:47 No.2672625
    yeah well you wouldn't want to subsist entirely on booze and mushrooms either. the problem is that you're just not dorfy enough
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)18:10 No.2672811
    So I recently ran into the problem of having too many goddamned dogs in my fortress (gobelves are on the other side of the world, and no megabeast attacks). I initiated a puppy genocide plan, which took two seasons to kill the last of the bastards.

    My problem is that two of my dorfs did the strangest thing. One wanted to put a puppy in a cage, the other wanted to butcher it. They kept grabbing the puppy from each other, and after about 15 minutes of watching this debacle I had them both jailed for idiocy.

    So my question is, what is an appropriately dorfy punishment which I can unleash on these two?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)18:15 No.2672857
    Cage them via the sleeping trap exploit?

    Have them fall asleep on a wooden club trap?

    Drop them in a room with a well, and drop food in every now and then?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)18:25 No.2672935
    You mean the Feature
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)18:46 No.2673061
    Sorry, but this is epic.

    A dragon emerges from the wilds, torching everything it comes across and entering the local Dorf Fortress. In order to wipe out the local Dorf population, it rips open a floodgate - and is unwittingly swept away by it into a pit below, with a Dorfen martial champion. When the water was finally drained out of the flooded Fortress, neither of them could be found.

    This is the tale of Slöl Sluxlol, draconic disciple of Eldrad.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)19:04 No.2673187
    I have a tale to tell.

    Some of you may have heard about me ranting about my fortress, Buzzardloved, before. Well, I finally had to abadone it last night as goblin raiding parties came pouring in. We already had massive problems with hordes of skeletal undead (especially giant eagles) coming out of the hell pit that was our chasm that was about five away from the entrance to my fort.

    So I decided to try and reclaim it. Seventy dorfs went in, all of which were either hammer, axe, or marksdwarfs.

    None came out.

    It turned out that quite a lot of the roving dead had decided to make my previous fortress they're new home. And that reclamation forces don't like it when their friends die.

    So after mowing down the about one hundred or more undead that now stalked the halls of Buzzardloved, the tantrums started. We lost maybe about five people.

    They all killed each other. Any that didn't die went insane.

    So then I tried to reclaim it again. How many undead could there be left right? Fucking hundreds. And now miasma was choking the halls to, where the previous reclamation force had fallen. They suffered the same fate. Faster, in fact.

    I am now attempting to start another Fort on an area almost exactly a like. The only difference is that there are also zombies.

    Has anyone else ever had this problem with reclaiming forts?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)19:16 No.2673275

    Is that gold?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)19:24 No.2673315

    What is the point of compartmentalizing your workshops? I realize that it's used to lock dorfs in when they go nuts, but most of them just go emo and mope around. The few that do go berzerk are easily taken care of. Is it just for the convenience, or what?
    >> Anonymous 09/26/08(Fri)21:58 No.2674349
    It's a trully complete DF thread! It has drawfaggotry, epicness, humor and a handfull of WTF.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)03:44 No.2676733
    If nothing else you're proving the name to be apt.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)10:59 No.2678752
    Let's see if I can bump this thread.
    Everything on front side is worthless at the moment.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)11:02 No.2678765
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)11:09 No.2678792
    My dorfs all just rushed outside to drag stuff to the trade depot and all started vomiting everywhere.

    What happen!
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)11:13 No.2678803
    Clean fortress in not a fortress.
    Entrance can be either covered in vomit or permanently closed.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)11:28 No.2678859
    archive, now
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)11:32 No.2678867

    Acclimatised to caves. Daylight=bright
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)11:35 No.2678885
    OP here.

    Holy shit, why is this thread still alive?
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)11:36 No.2678894
    Because of fucking epic self-flooding dragon.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)11:45 No.2678937
    Thanks to him, my only source of water during the winter was destroyed, which of course caused about five deaths, which made A LOT of people unhappy.

    Right now, I'm fearing for my fortress as everyone is feeling pretty shitty, especially the nobles, but they always do.

    God, this aftermath... it's neverending.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)12:40 No.2679187
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)12:49 No.2679208
    This happens to me occasionally.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)12:50 No.2679213
    Fuck, I pissed myself laughing. Brb, changing trousers.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)13:02 No.2679266
    I just noticed my fort's name is 'Rapelabored'.

    God damn it. I knew trying to colonize on a Terrifying desert was going to be a bad idea.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)13:03 No.2679271
    That's okay, my last two were Hammeredanus and Rapeforge.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)13:06 No.2679281

    How did that one work out?
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)13:10 No.2679299
    Survived for two years before a really popular noble got pissed off and tantrumed because nobody made 30 crystal glass dildoes or something. I mentioned it in another thread the other day. The original expedition leader was one of the last ones to lose it. Right in the middle of a crowd of children, which he used his legendary hammerdwarf abilities he gained from a string of Goblin sieges and antman raids to knock children into the nearby magma pool. He even picked up a couple and actively moved them over to the magma, and drop them in.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)13:17 No.2679335

    Right now I'm going to mess with Rapelabored for a while, and then go back to Buzzardlove v.2: This time we have zombies.

    Which is refreshing actually. I mean, we still had yearly casualties due to the hordes of undead (especially those fucking Cave Swallowmen) but they were all skeletal. All of them.

    Even the fucking troglodyte tribes, with their undead troll overlords, were fucking skeletal.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)13:27 No.2679398
    I had a fortress named Rapeforge once.

    It died of my elite hammer-champion with adamantine armour and an artifact steel shield going apeshit after her husband got caught on the wrong side of my noble deathtrap.

    I had 120+ dorfs. All died.

    Nowadays I take SPECIAL care to keep my champions ecstatic.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)13:30 No.2679415
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    I disagree.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:07 No.2679631
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:07 No.2679635

    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:09 No.2679654
    So... how about that obsidian? I hear it's like glass, but naturally formed and black.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:10 No.2679657
    I don't know about you but I'd where a crown made out FUCKING OBSIDIAN!
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:27 No.2679750
    Obsidian is awesomest rock.
    It's worth 3x as much as normal rock (flux ones are worth 2x normal rock) and you can use it to make badass swords which are as effective as STEEL ones.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:42 No.2679826
    why are my barracks covered in random bits of clothing, do they get knocked off sparring dorfs or something, and if so why don't they put them back on? :/
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:45 No.2679849
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:47 No.2679866
    Maybe your fortress is a nudist colony.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:52 No.2679902

    What Comic?


    What is your operating system and game-screen dimensions? I fail at making my screen bigger.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)14:57 No.2679929
    Cool tileset, which one is it?
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)15:00 No.2679943
    Looks like a sperm impregnating an ovary...
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)15:00 No.2679949
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)15:02 No.2679960
    I read that and I just want to know what happens when they come out the other side. I'm not even that freaked out by what happened.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)15:05 No.2679973
    It needs to look like that for Dorf incest to take place.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)15:05 No.2679975
    So I was thinking of building an underground trade depot to counteract the wave of vomit flowing out of my fortress whenever the humans arrive (it's not as fun as the wave of magma I use for the elves).

    Is it even possible to build a depot underground using ramps, or will the traders just fuck off and take their wagons elsewhere?
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)15:07 No.2679983
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    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)15:10 No.2680002
    Can't you just build an entrance into the side of a cliff?
    >> Anon 09/27/08(Sat)15:13 No.2680015

    I did this, it works fine.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)15:14 No.2680017
    Using ramps works fine, just make sure you're building wide enough, and check depot accessibility to make sure nothing's messing it up.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)15:58 No.2680303
    Help! I cant seem to find adamantine nor glowing pits on my map, despite the fact that massive tunnels crisscrossing the lowest level on my map and that the site finder said I indeed had these features.

    Can anyone tell me how large adamantine deposits and glowing pits are?
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)16:05 No.2680348

    Same question. What tileset is that?
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)16:12 No.2680435
    You have no pits then.
    Use site finder next time.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)17:56 No.2681325
    Dwarves will throw their old stuff away once they can get their hands on some more fancy clothes.
    Unfortunately, since those old clothes still belong to certain Dwarves, you can't dump them.

    Just ignore them.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/08(Sat)18:04 No.2681383
    Where did OP's posts go?

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