It's fairly quiet in the hanger, Rose and Roy are cleaning and maintaining the crew compartments, Richard and Patrick are down below changing a few worn-out track links, and you're laying over Black Jack's upper glacis plate with a can of touch-up paint fixing some of the scratches and dings that come along with having an active tank.You are Commander Russells, commander of the M26E1 Pershing Heavy Tank "Black Jack" and you've still got a few problems to sort out. First off is the matter of just what crews were exposed to weaponized all-male waterfights this morning, and fixing their fragile psyches. Except Mako- her entire reaction was actually a bit creepy.And you managed to escape La Presidente's office before getting a change to ask her about whether it was still necessary to conscript any girls for her parade float. It's Wednesday, so you've only got a few days to get on that.And then, very suddenly, you're quite soaking wet as a large water balloon>"...ANZU!!!">Stop, assess the situation and proceed logically.>Other
>>26496414>OtherDIVE DIVE DIVE HIT YOUR BURNERS PILOT
>>26496414>>Stop, assess the situation and proceed logically.
>>26496414HONK HONK, TIME FOR TONKS!>other Take cover behind the tank, assess the situation, and return fire.
>>26496414>Stop, assess the situation and proceed logically.
>>26496414>Stop, assess the situation and proceed logically.Also, write ourselves a reminder to install a loudspeaker system on Blackjack. That way, we can hide inside the tank and speak via the speakers. Anzu can't hit us with water balloons if we spend all day inside an armored war machine.
>>26496414>Duck for cover, assess the situation and proceed logically
>>26496505We can also play music. Very loud!Sort of... calm us down.
>>26496414>>"...ANZU!!!"Also, might wanna recheck your tweet, BJ. It links to the /tg/ main page.
>>26496982That's fine, he won't get more the a half dozen posts in tonight anyways.
>>26496520Or terrify/demoralize/insult the enemy.Actually, mount one on the Excelsior! and have them play this on loop while we ride out for the match with Kuroromine:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjKo6Pzr54g
>>26496414GUP QuestAND we defended all our land tonight with crushing victories?ALL IS WELL.
>Commencing summoning spellI SUMMON THEE BLACKJACK! COME BACK FRO THE DEAD AND POST THY NEXT UPDATE
>>26497740Did you provide the proper sacrifices?
>>26496414>OtherUnder attack?Only one thing to do.Commence counter-attack!
>>26497550we'll need to blast this at some pointhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBYzMRhOTCw
Wait, I know we're from the South, but does anyone know what state, specifically?
>>26497903Because if we're from 'bama, I know what we have to do come the Pravda match.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prvyGbBkYw4
You inhale sharply, knowing three things immediately: 1) You're under attack. 2) You need to get to cover. 3) If this is Anzu, she is going to PAY. You calmly, cooly shift your body weight, rolling down off the front of your Pershing and ducking underneith it. You peek your head out from under it, quickly looking around before pulling back further in.As you crawl along your belly towards the rear of the tank, Patrick stops you. "Russells?" He asks from the other side of Black Jack's track assembly. "Why are you under the tank?" He askes."We're under att-" It's too late, though, as another water balloon slams into him from behind."OH GODDAMMIT THAT'S COLD!" He shouts, standing straight up. "ANZU! OH YOU ARE ONE DEAD MIDGET!" He starts screaming in nearly incoherant English.>Stay in cover, let Patrick handle himself.>Get to the hose- we need armaments.>Other.
>>26497903Actually, we're from California. Central Valley to be specific.
>>26498050>>Stay in cover, let Patrick handle himself.
>>26498050>>Stay in cover, let Patrick handle himself.If Anzu wants man meat lets hope she likes pasty white Irish ass.
>>26498087You in the Sacramento Area?
>>26498050>Get to the hose- we need armaments.>Meanwhile, in the sidelines, Momo has a camera prepared and ready to shoot.But since this is Momo we're talking about, her snapshots are probably gonna miss by a mile.
>>26498050>Other Get the hose and provide suppressing fire for Patrick.
>>26498050> tell Patrick to fill up a garbage can will water while you go find anzu.DUNKING TIME
>>26498050>Other.Sneak out from under the tank. We then crawl to the closest water hose we can find. After we make sure its on, we then, keeping close to cover, go and flank Anzu (or whoever is attacking us)
>>26498150...I like this.
>>26498050>Get to the hose- we need armaments.Time to make like John McClane, with water.>>26498087Oh.Well.Damn.A lot of us seemed to be operating under the assumption that we were a Southron.Guess we need some Zep in our playlist then.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ty_WlmIKvYWait, The People's Republic of Commiefornia, where you can't have a semiautomatic rifle if it looks vaguely military, lets us have a freaking TANK? With a functional Ma Deuce?Welp, guess that's politicians for ya.
>>26498196Now now, you CAN have an AR-15, you just have to give it Down's Syndrome first.
>>26498137Actually, North of San Fransisco. Several hundred miles away. But I was thinking somewhere further south more around Stockton.
>>26498050>>Get to the hose- we need armaments.PAYBACK'S A BITCH, HONEY!
>>26498050>Stay in cover, let Patrick handle himself.And we drag Patrick into the cover. We may not get along from time to time but he is a comrade. We don't leave people behind.
>>26498050>Get to the hose- we need armaments.
>>26498050> Tell Patrick to fill up a garbage can will water while you go find anzu.THIS IDEA I LIKE IT
>>26498233Er, Black Jack's crew is from somewhere further South.
>>26498142>Meanwhile, in the sidelines, Momo has a camera prepared and ready to shoot.I betting money on it that Anzu will us those photo's as incentive for the ladies to not get knocked out of matches. And the more matches your crew make it, the more lewd the picture you can receive
>>26498150Oh god yes! PAYBACK'S A BITCH MIDGET
>>26498275Or a money-making scheme by selling said photos.>"It's all for a good cause, Commander! Just bear with it!"
>>26498050>>Get to the hose- we need armaments.
So, anons, what were you driving tonight?I, >>26497706 was doing this.
>>26498302>Just bear with it!"Darjeerling, when did you come back unannounced...again?
>>26498337That reminds me.Somebody go kill BlackJack so he gets back to writing.
>>26498050>>26498150>Tell Patrick to fill up a garbage can will water while you go find Anzu.YUS
>>26498337Wait what is that tank with the ? symbol?
>>26498337Victory!Battle: El Halluf Wednesday, August 07, 2013 11:51:34 AMVehicle: M4A3E8 ShermanExperience received: 3,342 (x2)Credits received: 49,983Battle Achievements: Master Gunner, Sharpshooter, Mastery Badge: "Ace Tanker"Did this this morning.
>>26498337And this:Victory!Battle: Redshire Wednesday, August 07, 2013 6:09:41 PMVehicle: StuG IIIExperience received: 883Credits received: 31,683
>>26498050Pull Patrick down with us, give him a mission to get a blank shell, while their attention is on him, we climb into the tank, start it up and prepare to bring the noise!
>>26498447I've never played Clan Wars but I'm guessing it goes like this.In Clan Wars, I believe you only know the tank when you actually spot it. If you never see it, you never know what it was. So whatever tank that was, it was never seen. So I'm guessing some artillery or a really well hidden TD.
>>26498533Oh it was Clan Wars, gotcha.
Anyone else hate it when some fuckass in a light rams your ass end right at the start, and YOU get penalized for the damage he takes because of his own idiocy?Like, I respect the importance of Lights to the team, but christ sometimes I just wanna blow one away, just so I'll actually DESERVE the penalty I take for "damaging him".
>>26498050>Get to the hose- we need armaments.>Other.find the over head lights! see who is attacking us. i fear this problem has festered too long. the girls have come to rape the beefcake.
>>26498338>"I was always here, Commander Russells. Besides, someone from Gloriana wanted Anzu to deliver on a 'special' photo ensemble of your gunner. Even went through the trouble of paying in advance."
>>26498748>Implying Assam doesn't want to send Russells lewd photos of herself
>>26498773>Assam>Eyes for anybody but the Goddess of Ballistics
Does Black Jack have a hatch on its underside?
>>26498799they might. safety reasons if the tank gets flipped over.
>>26498799It was built a couple decades early for that feature.
>>26498773>the Tea girls set up this ambush on the boys just so them selves can have some beefcake. they failed to snag them in the shooting duel with Rose. so this is their plan B.
>>26498838Could have been retrofitted with it to line up with Senshado safety regulations.
>>26498838but, retro actively, can one be installed on BlackJack?
>>26498872>>26498884hive mind!also. time to do the BlackJack QM summons. \STOP GAMING BJ AND POST ALREADY!
I've been wondering, is improvised armor legal in Senshado? There have been numerous accounts of tank crews using spare treads, sandbags, and cages as armor in history. I'm just wondering if it can be allowed.
>>26498196Where did those Southerner assumptions come from, anyway?
>>26499004Might be against the rules--safety regulations, mainly.
>>26499004>>26499020On the other hand we see tanks with extra treads hanging in the usual place, and seeing how the smart shells will rip through other equipment as they should it doesn't seem like a stretch
>>26499005i thought that Russles and crew were from Texas or Kentucky. i'm not sure but BlackJack QM can tell us. .. if he ever stop playing WoT and post.
>>26499005Our first match was in a desert
>>26499057He already told us. We're Californians.
>>26499064That was Arizona.When people say "Southerner" when referring to where in the US someone is from, they mean The South, capitalized. Texas is the furthest west that's considered "South" rather than "Southwest" and even it isn't usually included.Also, although Florida is on this pic, Floridians are more Yankee than most Yankees.
>>26499005Drawl, general slow-talking levelheadedness. Also, a least from my encounters with immigrants/tourists/foreign exchange students, the South and/or Midwest is what non-Americans think of when they think of America.
"Patrick!" You shout. "Dammit listen! GET UNDER THE TANK!" Somewhere else in the hanger you hear Richard call out as he's hit- too far away for you to help, the poor bastard.A few seconds later, Patrick is under Black Jack with you. "Did you see who hit us?" You ask him, peeking out from under the tracks- you can't see anything aside from the 38(t)'s tracks on one side and the PzIV's on the other. "Is it Anzu?""I think so." Patrick says. "I'm going to wring her neck!" He grumbles."Wait, just wait." You say, glancing back down at him. "We need to do this right- we need our vengence to be so sure and... vengeful... that she never thinks of doing something like this again. On my word, we get out from under here and split up...">"You get the hose, I'll get a trash can...">"You flank from the left, I'll distract from the front.">"We need to find Richard!">Other.
>>26499146>>"You get the hose, I'll get a trash can..."
>>26499115well, this is an alternet reality. hopefully California didn't become a ruined shit hole it is here and now.
>>26499146>"You get the hose, I'll get a trash can..."
>>26499146>"You get the hose, I'll get a trash can..."Water Tank?
>>26499146Hose and Can.Prepare the BEEF for maximum trollfactor.
>>26499146>"You get the hose, I'll get a trash can..."Shall we dunk her headfirst or feet first?
>>26499146>"You get the hose, I'll get a trash can..."this is just water folks, not us dodging live ammo. also, SEE WERE THIS IS COMING FROM!
>>26499146>"You get the hose, I'll get a trash can...""And If you see Richard, get him to distract her..."
>>26499146>You get the hose, I'll get a trash can...Anzu wants to play, let's play!
>>26499165Well, they let us have a TANK, with a functional Ma Deuce. If they were as shitty as in real life, I'm pretty sure grandpa would have packed up his tank and left.
>>26499146>"We need to find Richard!"No one gets left behind, soldier! You and I know that!
Wait.Our last name is Russels.Our first name is "James", isn't it?
>>26499120>Floridians are more Yankee than most YankeesUh, no. South/Central Florida maybe, but have you ever been to north Florida, especially around the Flora-Bama line? Just because dying Jews from New York like to shit up the big cities in south Florida doesn't mean that the rest of Florida is automatically Yankee.
>>26499146>Other.get out from under the tank and zerg rush the attacker.tackle them with our wet bodies.
>>26499146>"You get the hose, I'll get a trash can..."Also, grab something metal and bash out SOS on the underside of our tank. Hopefully the two inside get the message.
>>26499229Nah. that's our grandad
>>26499275Quick question while you're here BJ, Is BlackJack th Tank the only piece of military hardware that Russels likes, or is he more of an overall Armyboo?
>>26499275COMMENT NOW! don't leave us hanging here BJ QM!
>>26499146>other Get the hose and provide covering fire so that Richard can get the trash can.
>>26499306i am guessing more of the former than latter. Blackjack Tank IS his family tank and treasure.
>>26499146>>"You get the hose, I'll get a trash can... If you see Richard have him keep distracting her."
>>26499146how dark is it in here anyway QM? and is there any high points people can get to?
I just had a completely random thought.Obviously, in this particular universe, armored vehicles are fairly common, at least compared to our world.Would they have something similar to Top Gear?
"You go find a hose- a firehose if possible- and I'll get a trashcan." You say, pushing yourself backwards towards Black Jack's aft. "Hopefully Richard can keep distracting her long enough."Patrick nods. "Got it. I like where this is going." He says with a evil smile before disappearing out Black Jack's front.A quick look around shows you that neither Anzu or any of her lackeys in line of sight so you dart towards the back wall. A few steps and you're nearing the Auto club's storage area where you're quickly able to locate a large plastic drum. "Perfect!" You say, grabbing it to head back towards Black Jack."And what do you think you're doing?" A voice comes from behind you- Satoko, the leader of the Automotive club is standing behind you, clapping a near-comically oversized wrench in her hand.>"I'm borrowing this for a few minutes.">"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew.">Other
>>26499832>OtherTake off shirt and throw it at her.> "Here. Compensation for letting me use this for a tiny bit."
>>26499832>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew."
>>26499832>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew."Ask her to join us
>>26499832>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew."HONESTY IS BEST POLICY
>>26499832>>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew."Just be completely honest. We can always bargain with her later.
>>26499832>Otherwe're already wet again. give her the beefcake hypnoisis. then go get those who started this.
>>26499832>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew."I'm sure she has her own grudges against Anzu.
>>26499832>I'm borrowing this for a few minutesNo time to explain, but we need the bucket!
>>26499832>>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew."
>>26499832"Borrowing this to go do some cleaning.... I'll return it once we've finished..."
>>26499832>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew."The lines have been drawn. Which side are you on?
>>26499832>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew. You wouldn't happen to have a fire extinguisher or two to spare would you?"
But what if it's not Anzu?What if it's Yuzu? Or Duck Team?.........Right, stupid question
>>26499857this plus this.>>26499888and a bit of this..>>26499868FOR THE WIN!if we're to turn on the girls. might as well excite them all if we can.
>>26499857The last thing we need right now is another group of women vying for our bodies, much less the group of women who repair and maintain our tank.
>>26499922I did it for the chuckles. I admit it! I'm sorry!
>>26499832>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew."Honesty is the best policy.Also if this has motor oil in it or something we should know
>>26499941Shoulda gone with a BP. Fuck da slow ass IIV.I wuv you my sweet Black Prince~ yes I do~ More then my T29 I do~
>>26499832>"I'm borrowing this for a few minutes.">"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew.">>26499922Tank is repaired to perfection, every time.We have also installed blowjob machine. Ignore fact that looks like living girl.
>>26499941I don't suppose anyone know where an archive of that thread is, do they?Regardless, you sir, are a scholar and a Gentleman
>>26499941Turns out the competition is holding liquids and gasses.
>>26499832>"We're going to dunk Anzu for waterballooning our crew.">>26499922>implying Dorikin is not best Garupan
>>26500001Probably not, same as this.
>>26499922i don't know if we can AVOID that point now. might As well see if she can resist our beefcake or join in our revenge aginst our common foe, Anzu! i am sure she can pin alot of the misery of so much work on her head.
>>26500001Check the foolz archives. This was in an /a/ thread if I recall correctly.
>>26500103Thank you kind sir. It was indeed
>>26500067>Deadliest Panzer is a show in-universe>Yukari HATES it, and goes off on screaming rants, usually including the phrase "Russian Bias" if anyone brings it up
>>26499980>IIV.>Not actually a roman numeralDo you perhaps mean VII?Also>Implying the Black Prince wasn't the slowest Churchill Variant ever builtWoT stats can fuck right off, having about as much historical accuracy as Hitler's magical occult space penis.
>>26500186>Doesn't know about Hitler's magical occult space penis.Wow get a load of this pleb.
>>26500314You mean the one he never got working, because he needed his missing ball for it to function, and The Rifle Brigade put the kibosh on that?
>>26500186Oh quit bellyaching, of course the KV-2's turret could rotate backwards while on an incline, boilerplate makes tanks invincible, KV-1S was equipped with a 122mm cannon and the ELC AMX was a thing.
>>26500186Actually, I think the Black Prince is fucking slow in WoT.I don't know if that's historical, but since it means a non-Russian tank is slow and useless, I'm sure they put it into their game.
>>26500370Either way.BP is the slowest Churchill tank on record IRL.It makes out at 10.5mph on roads and ~7.5mph offroad.It goes nowhere fast.
>>26500370Or in the case of French tanks, SANIC and useless.
>>26500366From what I hear the KV-1S may be losing that 122mm.Also, giggity.>>26499832>>"I'm borrowing this for a few minutes."We can just send her pictures of the aftermath.
"Oh... This little thing?" You say, glancing at the barrel.Satoko nods. "That's property of the Automotive club." You nod. "Well, Anzu waterballooned my crew. We're going to fill this up with water and, depending on what opportunities present themselves, we're either going to dunk her in it or dump it on her." You shrug. "Sort of playing it by ear right now."Satoko stares hard at you. "You aren't going to use that for it..." She says, but before you can protest she grabs the barrel from you. "You're not getting anything done with that fifteen gallon water bottle- let me show you the twenty-fives."You smile and follow her to upgrade your weapon.>"Thanks, we'll get her once for you guys.">"We owe you one for this!">Other.
>>26500418nope, the slowest here is the BJ QM's posting speed.
>>26500453Yes, but he's not a Churchill tank. Also;>>26500448Irony.
>>26500448>>"We owe you one for this!"
>>26500448>"We owe you one for this!"
>>26500448>"We owe you one for this!">"Thanks, we'll get her once for you guys."
>>26500448>>"We owe you one for this!"I'm sure if we leave the terms of how to pay the debt to her it won't involve anything too lewd, right?
>>26500448>>"Thanks, we'll get her a few times for you guys."
>>26500448>"We owe you one for this!"Inb4 beefcake engine repair scene
>>26500448>"We owe you one for this!">"Thanks, we'll get her once for you guys."BASED AUTO CLUB
>>26500448>>Other. I guess I'm even more in your debt than I already was.As far as she is concerned we already do owe her.
>>26500448>"Thanks, we'll get her once for you guys."seems to hate the Anzu as much as we do.
>>26500448>"Thanks, we'll get her once for you guys."
>>26500448>We owe you one for this?
>>26500532"What did you say about me, Russels?""I just said that you're pretty. Even when you're covered in... engine grease, you're... No, especially. Especially when you're covered in engine grease."
>>26500585At first, I was kinda eh about the Auto Club.But you, you magnificent bastard, are making me change my opinion.Though Duck team is still best team. And Orange Pekoe is best garupan
>>26500585>at practice the next day"Guys, why is there an ass print and greasy handprints on the hetzer?"
>>26500489No, certainly not. I'm sure everything will be totally fine and not lewd at all.
>>26500448>"Thanks, we'll get her once for you guys.">"We owe you one for this!"And then Anzu was drowneded.>>26500446I will believe it when I'm not getting 2 shotted by it.
>>26500489>>26500532>>26500585>>26500634>>26500638yes, YES! i think we just found the right girls to match up with the loose spares on the team.
>>26500634>"Guys, why is there an ass print and greasy handprints on the hetzer?">Smirkingguyupans.jpg
>>26500656All we know is the 1s is getting nerfed. Could be an rof change, could be getting the 107 instead of the 122, could be just a turret rotation nerf. We don't know how they're doing it.Sage'd for Wot stuff.
>>26500638>hook up with a mechanic girl>not lewdDude, the only way it could get more lewd was if we found her a cherry 1967 Shelby Cobra GT500 fastback.
>>26500715No, confirmed for losing the 122. ITs getting some sort of 100mm.
>>26500771Huh, what's the source on this?
>>26500763Red American car, you say?
>>26500899Not red."Cherry" is a term that refers to a classic car being in perfect condition.
>>26500980Virgin condition if you want to get technical.Dat feel when a car is a wizard.
>>26500763I don't know where the hell we'd find a Mustang on a carrier, let alone a Shelby Cobra fastback.Personally, I've been more of a fan of Buick Grand Nationals.
>>26500899>Kay>wearing thigh-highs>not wearing tube socks, blue jeans, and work bootsInsufficiently blue collar. Also needs more Springsteen. Better luck next time.
>>26500899Is there more?
>>26500771And I will believe that they're not thinning the armor or knocking a few kph off the top speed when I see it.Because I trust this company so fucking much.
>>26500814Can't remember. only know its the current plan.>>26501054The thing has shit armor. people just don't know where or how to shoot it. I eat them for breakfast with my Hellcat.
>>26501053One or two...>>26501138Well I say the same thing about the IS-3 and IS-6. I rarely have trouble putting shells through their front in my Tiger.
>>26501138Of course the thing has shit armor. That's why they keep nerfing it.
>>26501182...got any Erwin?
>>26501230I do (Not the guy that posted the other stuff) but I don't know where it is.
>>265012302 parts of it, even.
As you scuttle back towards Black Jack with your twenty-five gallon barrel you turn and look back towards Sotoko. "Seriously, I owe you one for this- Anything you need just ask!"She smiles wickedly. "Go give that tiny little troll hell! I'll think of something!"As you move back to the active battlefield you look around from the rear corner of the Panzer IV, Miho looks at you from the top of its hull. "Uh... um... Commander you're uh..." She gulps audibly. "You're all wet again...">"Yeah, Anzu's fault... Seen Patrick anywhere?">We don't have time for this... Find our Radioman!>Other
>>26501138I mostly use a T-34 and they still give me problems. The T-34 is kind of fragile, though. Armor's too thin to bounce much of anything and its guns are kind if meh except for the rate of fire. Which means fuck all against a KV of any kind if you're looking at the front.
>>26501182not enough revolution references.>"Yeah, Anzu's fault... Seen Patrick anywhere?"
>>26501387>>OtherBlame Anzu. Speaking of which, where is she?
>>26501387>>"Yeah, Anzu's fault... Seen Patrick anywhere?"
>>26501387>"Yeah, Anzu's fault... Seen Patrick anywhere?"Our Jimmies remain unrustled, Miho.
>>26501387>"Yeah, Anzu's fault... Seen Patrick anywhere?"here we go again with Miho.
>>26501387>Blame Anzu, sorry gotta go find Pat!OUR PEOPLE NEED US! WE MUST GO
>>26500899>>26501182>>26501265>>26501278There probably aren't any Nekota ones, are there?Liking the tall shy girl who gets no screentime is pain.
>>26501387"Hey, Miho! Wanna give us a hand with this? We're hunting Anzu."
>>26501387>"Yeah, Anzu's fault... Seen Patrick anywhere?"
>>26501434There is one, just not quite what the other ones are.
>>26501387From the way you're talking I'm willing to bet you are too.In all seriousness: >"Yeah, Anzu's fault... Seen Patrick anywhere?"
>>26501389Shoot the designated weakspots, aka the mg and the driver's view port.>>26501387>"Yeah, Anzu's fault... Seen Patrick anywhere?"
>>26501278You have and Miho or Yukari ones?
>>26501389And therein lies your problem. Your trying to fight a Kv-1 with a gun thats a pile of shit. Russian 76mm's suck such nuts.Just try to flank and hope you've got a wing and a prayer.
>>26501502The only gun that should be used on the T-34 is the 57mm. That thing is a machine gun.
>>26501389The 57mm on the t-34 has more than enough pen to eat a KV-1 alive.Just dont shoot the beak or tracks and you should be fine.
>>26501389Either weakspots or go for sheer audacity.Track then start moving towards his side. Make sure you keep him tracked and you stay out of line of fire. Eventually you'll be able to flank him. At that point you can shoot the engine to set him on fire. Or alternatively the ammo rack or whatever you prefer.
>>26501501Have one for Yukari and another one involving the Sodoclones,...I'll have to check to see what else I have.
>>26501541>Russian tanks>igniting in WoTHAHAHA! The things run on something only slightly more combustible than muddy water.
>>26501387>"Yeah, Anzu's fault... Seen Patrick anywhere?"We need bait
>>26501387>We don't have time for this... Find our Radioman!I am wearing my business socks. Just so you know what time it is.
>>26501563Aim for the obvious gas tanks.May take more shots than German BBQ
>>26501563I never said it'd be easy. There's a variety of choices when taking on a heavy and it depends on your own abilities. Shooting the engine is easy because it's almost always at the same spot. Other options include taking out the turret so he can't keep up with you circling, shooting the gun, keeping him tracked while your arty gets its gun lined up or whatever you please.
>>26501582>posting schoolgirl Anarchy sistersThat's against DA RURUS!
>>26501543And here's the last one for now. Off to work with me.>>26501563I think I've killed more Russian tanks with fire than I have German or American.So many stupid Russian drivers have a bad habit of showing my Tiger their backside.
>>26501387>We don't have time for this... Find our Radioman!NO TIME MIHO, WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!
>>26500446>From what I hear the KV-1S may be losing that 122mm
>>26501517I only use the 56mm. The mg port and driver hatch are damned small, though. I can't hit them reliably. Also, the T-34 has really fragile tracks. I hear the various tracked alerts interrupted by the bail out alert so often it's actually started to sound weird hearing one without the other.
>>26501652One problem there.Rommel was strongly opposed the "Aryan master race" bullshit. He repeatedly risked his career and even life by refusing to obey orders to execute Jewish POWs, and to deport the Jewish population of France.
>>26501703The almost vertical front plate that has the mg port and hatch on it is only around 87 effective armour if you're shooting it from the front, so theres no need to aim at the port specifically unless they're angled properly.From the side you can pen it just about anywhere except the tracks.
>>26501734>implying history team can get their facts straight
>>26501734Take it up with /a/, they wrote it.On another note, GEN Patton took Rommel's desk and it's currently at the US Army's NCOPD facility in Germany.
>>26501777>implying the resident Rommel fangirl wouldn't know what Churchill said about the man by heart"His ardor, and daring, inflicted grevious disasters upon us. But he deserves the salute which I made him, in the House of Commons, in January 1942. He also deserves our respect, because although a loyal German soldier, he came to hate Hitler and all his works, and took part in the conspiracy to rescue Germany by displacing the maniac and tyrant. For this he paid the forfeit of his life. In the sombre wars of modern democracy, there is little place for chivalry."
You peak around the corner again, cursing the fact that you'd left your binoculars in there with your helmet. "Yeah. Anzu's fault." You pop back around and look up at Miho. "She was telling me how she wants to use my crew to motivate the rest of you..." You say looking around. "I don't think that'd even work... on... you guys... Miho, eyes up here."Miho shakes her head. "Oh, sorry!" She says blushing. Her eyes darting back up to look at the wall behind you. "Um... so... What are you, uh, doing now?" She says, looking at everything in the room except you."We're going to find Anzu and we're going to destroy her. Our retribution will be so swift and so... retributive..." Miho isn't listening any more, here eyes having shifted back down to your soaked shirt. Dammit.>We don't have time for this... We have justice to dispense.>"Miho, we need to talk...">Other.
>>26501792>"Miho, we need to talk..."
>>26501792>We don't have time for this... We have justice to dispense."We'll try to talk later. Gotta go!"
>>26501789>GEN Patton took Rommel's deskOf course he did. Patton was Orky as fuck.>>26501792>We don't have time for this... We have justice to dispense.I thought I'd made it clear to you. My eyes can only see one path and that is the path with the most amount of Anzu-soaking. Justice, is always there, and the path I follow, is justice
>>26501792>"Miho, we need to talk..."I'd say that it's working pretty well so far.
>>26501792>We don't have time for this... We have justice to dispense.Drag her along. She can stare as long as she wants--as long as she helps, I'm fine with whatever she does.
>>26501792>>We don't have time for this... We have justice to dispense.First, crazy-ass revenge mission. THEN un-mindfuck the rest of the team.
>>26501792>"Miho, we need to talk..."Address the situation with Yukari if we haven't already.With can lift high the black banners of vengence on the midget in a little while.>>26501828It's good to be the general.
>>26501792>Other."MIHO, we are in a COMBAT SITUATION. GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!"
>>26501792>Other."Miho, we need to TANK..."and then we roll out inna panzer 4
>>26501792>>"Miho, we need to talk..."Need her to focus."Tank Commander Miho, Attention!"Her old school probably drilled something in her to snap her out of her stuper
>>26501792>>We don't have time for this... We have justice to dispense.Soon we gonna be rollan in bitches.
>>26501792>We don't have time for this... We have justice to dispense.
>>26501792>[x] We don't have time for this... we have justice to dispense!However, as soon as Anzu's dunk'd, we need to have The Talk with the girls.
>>26501792>"Miho, we need to talk..."Time for awkward talk.
You sigh and look up at the blushing Panzer IV commander. This needs to be addressed soon, but there is something that is much more immediately useful right now. Justice cannot wait. "Hey, do you see Patrick anywhere?"She blinks out of her trance. "Oh, um..." She points over towards the 38(t). You follow her finger and see him, attempting to hide his gangly Irish form behind its turret with a kinked hose cradled to his chest."Thanks." You say with a smile and a nod, dashing over towards you radioman. "Patrick! See Anzu?"He shakes his head. "Negative- what's the plan?">"We find her, grab her and dunk her.">"We fill this up, lure her over here and dump it on her.">Other
>>26502305>>"We fill this up, lure her over here and dump it on her."
>>26502305>>"We fill this up, lure her over here and dump it on her."Always.
>>26502305>>"We find her, grab her and dunk her."Let's make some midget soup.
Anyone else notice that nearly all people in Chinese tanks are the biggest shitlords ever? I always know when I see a Type whatever, they're going to be the ass ramming allies and blaming them for the damage or nudging allies out of cover or charging alone into a field and blaming us when they die.
>>26502305>>"We find her, grab her and dunk her."DUNK.
>>26502305>"We find her, grab her and dunk her."Let's get her ridiculously wet.
>>26502305>>"We find her, grab her and dunk her."More difficult, but oh so worth it.
>>26502305>"We find her, grab her and dunk her."
>>26502339Yeah, Chinese players are dildos.
>>26502305>"We find her, grab her and dunk her."The perfect plan.
>>26502305>>"We find her, grab her and dunk her."Patrick, fancy some midget tea?
>>26502305>"We fill this up, lure her over here and dump it on her."Manhandling japanese schoolgirls is tricksy.Besides, if you beefcake, she will come
>>26502305>OtherHide under the barrel with the hose, use Patrick as bait, then ambush the perpetrator with a hose down.
>>26502371What even is the point of the Chinese tree? It's just the Soviet tree but worse.
>>26502697It's just like it would be if they put in a Japanese tree.
>>26502371Hey now, I'm going down the Chinese Tree, and I don't do any of those things.And I'm LOVING my Chinkanese Stuart....I may have to start down the American Light Tank line after this
>>26502305>[x] "We find her, grab her and dunk her."We are coming for you, Anzu.
>>26502723>going for the autoclapperscancer, etc etc
>>26502697The higher tier lights are pretty fantastic.Unfortunately lights in general arent all that great anymore.
>>26502723You're the exception that proves the rule.
>>26502708To be fair, at least the Japanese made their own tanks. the chinese ones are just soviet tanks painted blue.
>>26502723The 2 stuarts play rather differently. The Chinese one has a normal gun with decent pen on it. It plays light pretty much any other light.The American one has a howitzer on the other hand. So it becomes a very different tank requiring different tactics.
You hide behind 38(t), glancing around to make sure Anzu isn't sneaking up on you. "Right, so I'm going to fill this big ass barrel with water, then you and..." On cue, Richard ducks behind the tank with you. "Richard here are going grab the pipsqueek and we're going to dunk the waterfighting out of her."Patrick nods. "Sounds good..." He looks around. "Where is she anyway?"You look around. "No idea, haven't seen her since this entire thing began." There's no shortage of places to hide in the hanger, though. "We need to lure her out, give her a target..."A great Commander knows that when there's a hard job, one that requires sacrifice, it's his job to do it. "ROY!" You shout. "Get out here, I need help!" You're only pretty decent.A few seconds later, Roy pops up from the Gunner's hatch. "What is it?!" He says, annoyed. And he's immediately hit with a balloon..."She's above us!" Richard hisses. "In the rafters!" You look up and see her- there were all manner of catwalks and platforms up there for storage and access to various roof-mounted equipment.>Get the sprayer...>We need to lure her down.>Other.
>>26502818>>We need to lure her down.
>>26502740Wait...the Chinese ones have auto-loaders? The fuck....well, I've still got my Patton, T95, and Tiger II...I'll complete the Chinese line to just complete it...seems the easiest to get all tanks on.
>>26502856I think he's talking about the American light tanks.The Chinese DO have autoloaders though. Only on the 59-16 I believe.
>>26502818>Get the sprayer...RANGED COMBAT IS A GO!
>>26502856Autoclappers are american autoloaders, just like Autobagettes are french autoloaders.I think the 59-16 is the only chinese tank with an autoloader, and its not very effective.
>>26502818Hose her down!Literally!
>Get the sprayer.Time for some splash damage.
>>26502818>Get the sprayer...>We need to lure her down.
>>26502818>[x] We need to lure her down.>[x] "You can only see our shoulders from up there!"
>Get the sprayer.If we have a hose attachment, we can make it rain on her and switch to pressurized blasts when she darts out.
>>26502818>Other.Fire sprinklers. ACTIVATE!Hopefully, without need for setting things on fire first.
>>26502976Do you really want to destroy everything in the hangar?
>>26502917Carlos I swear to god...
>>26502976This.WE SHALL TAKE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE DOWN WITH US
>>26503090And then russel runs into yukari completely wet and see through
>>26503066What? She made us all wet. We gotta stick it to her, Anon. Water we waitin' for?
>>26502818>We need to lure her downI don't want to make a little girl slip, fall from the rafters, and split her head open. That is not senshado
>>26503165GOD DAMN IT CARLOS.
>>26502818>Richard..Since when did Richard pop up?
>>26503212"You weren't exactly sure before; the spray of water had mostly blocked your field of vision. But the sound of sickening crunch of bones shattering on concrete removed all doubt."Shit, did she fall down!?" Patrick stammers in a near-panic.You, however are already running towards the Pz IV, behind of which the whole messy scene unfolds.The disfigured remains of the bratty half-pint color the garage floor red, with Miho on her knees next to what remains of Anzu's cranium, just hovering her hands over the body, clearly still trying to help her but being in too much of a shock to do anything. Even you can pretty much tell she's dead with one look.
We all know that this most probably isn't Anzu... Right? I bet my monies at freshmen.
>>26503428Yeah there's no way it's actually Anzu.
"You've got a good position up there, Anzu." You shout from behind the 38(t). "Too bad the only thing you can see up there is the shoulders..." You look at Richard and Patrick, and they immediately slip off to set up the rest of the plan. "Missing the show all over again, aren't you Anzu?"You pop your head up over the 38(t)'s hull. Anzu's already on her way over towards the ladder- she's looking away at the moment, so you signal to your crew mates to head that way. You smile; as much as they annoy you sometimes, you can always count on them to work well with you when it counts.As she sets foot on the floor, Patrick and Richard are ready to move on her.>Take off your shirt- it's a small sacrifice for JUSTICE.>"Patrick, put your shirt back on!">Other.
>>26503480>>Take off your shirt- it's a small sacrifice for JUSTICE.
>>26503480>Take off your shirt- it's a small sacrifice for JUSTICE.
>>26503480>Take off your shirt- it's a small sacrifice for JUSTICE.In which we make things so much worse.
>>26503480>Take off your shirt- it's a small sacrifice for JUSTICE.So sexy it hurts
>>26503480>Patrick, put your shirt back on!"She doesn't get to see.
>>26503483>>26503486>>26503503>>26503509Oh god we're digging ourselves ever deeper.
>>26503527Sooner or later we'll dig ourselves back to America! Get a decent burger while we're at it
>>26503527All the way back to America baby.
>>26496414>girls und panszer >main characters are maleFuck me thats some dumb shit.also>girls und panszer>not yuri
>>26503527Know next thread when everything's fucked, we could have stopped this.
>>26503549go back to /a/ yurifag. The world is not 100% female
On an entirely unrelated note-remember how I keep going on about taunting Pravda with the story of the IS-2? I just realized it's entirely possible for theirs to be the same tank, albeit with extensive restoration work.that'd be a hell of a vengeful ghost
>>26503558>implying we'll get that far next thread
>>26503558BJ could have never let this happen.It's common knowledge that the average human doesn't know what is best for itself!WHY DID YOU LET US DO THIS BJ?
>>26503587>inb4 theres a big ass "768" on the side of the turret
>>26503558>Next thread>Implying we're even going to finish this fight this thread, or the nextPlease, the only quest on /tg/ with a slower pace than this one is F/SA, and thats only because AC-Guy can't go two posts without a rabid fire-breathing demonic vorpal moose busting through the wall and trying to kill him.
>>26503480>>Take off your shirt- it's a small sacrifice for JUSTICE.LET'S DO IIIIIIIT
>>26503667I felt that this thread went slightly faster this time though
>>26503655>>26503587I don't really know much Eastern Front history, and my google-fu is failing me, what's the signifigance of "768" in relation to the IS-2?
>>26503802Tis the number of the one Grandpa gutted back in Korea
>>26503802Here, 768 was one of the IS-2s used in the Korean War. The MC's tank also served in that time period and is semifamous for firing a shell straight into 768's barrel while it was also firing. As you might imagine, the gun was totally fucked.
>>26503808So, not anything real world history?
>>26503822It was a real is-2 captured in korea
>>26503558I know, I know, and with full knowledge of the irremeidiable ensuring shitstorm, I hereby declare:>Take off your shirt- it's a small sacrifice for JUSTICE.
>>26503692It went "faster" because of the sideposts. Blackjack remains faithful to his "update every hour" routine.
>>26503843Revenge against that sneaky bastard is worth the price! ANY price!
>>26503480>>Take off your shirt- it's a small sacrifice for JUSTICE.Fuck it let's do this.
You take a breath. Justice requires a price, and you were going to talk to them about it anyway. "May I be forgiven for what I must do..." You say quietly to yourself, before peeling off your shirt. "Hey Anzu! Over here!"Her head snaps to look at your, her mouth dropping open. "Russells? Where is your-" And then the attack happens. Not from the front, but from the sides- two crewman than she didn't even know were there. "ACK! UNHAND ME!" She screams and they drag her towards the barrel of water.You calmly step over towards. "Have your fun up there, Anzu?" You say smugly. "Wanted to get the girls nice and motivated, I suppose?" Justice feels good."I don't know what you're talking about!" She says, trying to squirm out of your crew's grasp. "I was up there getting some... wiper fluid... stuff. I dunno, Miho sent me up there!"You blink. Wait...Crap.You see Miho and Hana rise up from behind Black Jack, a water balloon in each hand, and then they loose their rounds.
>>26503991HEY GUYSREMEMBER WHEN THE FIRST CHOICE OF THE THREAD WAS STOP AND ASSESS THE SITUATIONAND WE ALL PICKED BLAME ANZUWE FUCKED UP
Tomorrow on Girls und Panzer Quest!>THERE WAS A WATER FIIIIIIIGHT!>The team works out some frustration.>We get help from Anzu with things.Girls und Panzer Quest will return tomorrow (Or is it tonight?) at 5PM PST!
>>26504022meh who cares, her karmic debt can handle some misplaced blame.
>>26503991...Good show Miho, good show.
>>26503991Damn, and I was counting on some hot freshmen action.
>>26503991... Is it too late to trip the fire alarm and soak everyone?
>>26504027We best be boldly striding right at them while half naked.If they've got over their hormones then great, resume water fight.If they haven't, loudly explain that they have until you get over there to get over it or you're upending the Anzu dunk tank on them.
>>26503991I bet this was all Hana's idea! Beware the silent ones, for they are the most devious indeed!Ah, well...
>>26503991>Water balloon fight with Miho and Hana
>>26504085We will become Poseiden, lord of the ocean, drenching all who can not bare to gaze upon our frame.
>>26504089Personally, I'd put money on Mako. Never trust a girl who sleeps that much, for hers is the mind of a schemer.
>>2650399Miho is Creed come in the guise of a Japanese schoolgirl.
Good showI only made it for the end, but this is probably the best part I've read so far.