So let's say you wake up in a graveyard and discover you're a long-dead skeleton who's revived magically, and you still have your free will and memories intact.What would you do? How would you react?
First I would sit in my coffin trying to escapeThen I would go insaneThen I would scream forever
After calming down I think I'd make my teeth chatter a bit.I remember playing Warcraft 3 and laughing at the Skeleton's "voice".
>>25864623If I'm buried, dick my way out.If not then learn to play the xelophone
I would scream for a very long time, possibly forever.
>>25864771>dick my way outI think you might be boned, buddy.
>>25864797ya your right. Id probably need protection.
Experiment. I'd remove a limb and see if I could control it while detached.Also I'd see if I could incorporate other bones into my own body.If so, then I'd try to become some sort of skeleton chimera thing.
>>25864623Been reading Mogworld eh?
The first order of business would be to flee into the woods before daylight, don't want the local farmers going on a witch hunt (skeleton hunt)Then I need to find something to cover myself so that incase im spotted I don't look blatantly boneySlowly I would work my way towards new york city keeping to the shadows until I acquire an axe or sword and several guns.On halloween I would show my true form in times square, gunning down innocents and throwing molotov cocktails and hacking off limbs until I am slain, the entire time screaming "SCREEEEEE"
>>25864797It's no skin off my back!
Spin until I can fly.Laugh forever at the people below pointing into the sky and screaming forever.
>>25864623If I can leave my grave, I do. If not, scream forever, I suppose. After leaving grave, attempt to approach and reintegrate with living society. If this works, attempt to piece back together shattered former if life. When approaching/reintegrating with society inevitably fails, wander into the wilderness I guess, perhaps helping/observing from afar. Regardless of success/failure of rejoining society, if not in a high fantasy setting, try to figure out why I'm semi-alive again.
>>25864863Thats actually pretty great. Especially the screeing
hide in barrelspop out when people walk by and rattle my teethif capable of speech go "ACK ACK ACK ACK" before running away into a new hiding spot
Remove my head and put it in a boxStand around and ask people if they've seen my head
We all agree that Skeleton > Zombie, right?I would do what I always wanted to do, get full body armor, a big Fuck Off weapon, and go around fighting evil and telling small children wondrous stories while hiding the fact that I'm a skeleton since it's my super power
Definitely try to turn myself into some sort of giant super-skeleton.Then I'll go fight evil.
Tie various pieces of meat onto my bones and try to sneak back into normal human society. If that somehow fails, make friends with the local dog population.
This is the plot of Medievil, ja?
Hide.I don't want some sort of lab doing experiments with me, they could crack me open or take me apart to the point where i'm a sentinent skull that simply thinks as it becomes insane.Try to find some kind of pleasure that isn't purely psychological. What senses do i have? You didn't say i'm blind, so sight. People seem to assume i can hear, too, so how's touch/taste?
I'd shift into Skelecopter mode and fight crime.
>>25864863scream "OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE EVERYWHERE, THEY ARE COVERED IN MEAT OH GOD"
JUMP OUT OF PEOPLE'S CLOSETS AND ANNOUNCE:"HEY IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAD A SKELETON IN THE CLOSET!"A NEW DAY, A NEW CLOSET
Steal a cloak, a farmer's sickle, and a stick from someone, dress up in them with my new scythe and stand outside people's windows at night.
wasent there a ps1 game where you played a skeleton knight in a museum?
Get more bones to become a bigger skellington, then become superhero!
>>25865196Two of them. Medievil.
Find an exibition, pose as an exibit, and slightly tilt my head to scare anyone that stares into my eye(-holes)
Get a job as one of anatomy model things you see hanging around.
>>25864623I need to find my loved ones, see if anyone is left, OP. I gotta find them! I guess if I don't have anybody out there, I probably just hide in closets and dark places, and pop out to spook folks.
Step 1: Learn to danceStep 2: Dance for the local gravediggerStep 3: Make a point to never be seen dancing by any one elseStep 3: Giggle as he slowly loses his grip on reality
I'll steal a skeleton costume and rob a bank. I have the hostages rush out and in the meantime take off my mask and stuff as many hundred dollar bills in my rib cage as I can. I then hijack the coroner's vehicle and drive it to Mexico.The perfect crime
>>25865198i liked those games
I'd bust out, casually walk into town and do the robot in town square. When someone walks withing two feet of me, I collapse into a pile. Once they take a couple steps back, reform and go about my business. This would continue until I am either destroyed or they try to watch me out of curiosity. If I am not destroyed, I use the attention this attracts in order to communicate with a larger audience via television broadcasts.Then once the whole nation is gripped in dancing skeleton mania, I hold a skeleton press conference revealing something terribly inane and boring. Like a public service announcement only more lame. Maybe I explain the mating cycle of certain species of preying mantis. Maybe I sell the brand of toothpaste that first pops into my head.The whole point of this is to see just how much time I can waste for other people
The only option is to create the world's first endless roller coaster.
>>25865401THIS IS A MAN WITH A PLAN
Wear a Scorpion costume.
>>25864623I'm going to go around the world starting fights while singing this song at the top of my lungs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOZHwWFjb30
Get internet access. Study hard sciences, engineering and I guess occult, too, since there's obviously something going on.Learn, learn, learn. Then create all sorts of neat tech with what I've learned and advance humanity.Eventually, if I find a way, get myself a better body. One that's still immortal, of course.
>>25865616>at the top of my lungsi got bad news for you son
>>25865657I don't care if I have to do it in fucking Morse code those lyrics will be heard.
>>25865657This skeleton doesn't have lungs but I do.
>>25864864I thought you'd be in for a good ribbing.
Probably go give someone a ribbing, no bones about it.
>>25865679Will you be my bard?
>>25865673>>25865679>>25865657would a skeleton with organs be less or more scary than a regular one?
>>25865691Yes. I will skip around singing "Running with the Devil" as loud as possible.
>>25865774Gives the opposition targets so less.
I'm pretty sure I'd pull a Mr.Bones and rock out to the Blues like a badass.Ya dig?
The same thing I do every night. Try to take over the world!
Steal this guy's routine minus the puppeteer:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3W0klg3MzE
>Acquire old military uniform, Prussian/Imperial German Officer's if possible>Bury myself under some dirt in a German townsquareI'd jump out at passers by, asking if they've seen the Kaiser.
Song and dance routine.
Fuck.I can't stop laughing.It's 2AM and I need to go to bed.This is why I love /tg/.Also, I'd become a fashion model. Only people who can into morphology and whatnot would discover that I was crossdressing.Alternatively: find myself a pale horse, and ride it.
>>25867048I'd take to harvesting wheat after dark.
I'd take up terraforming Mars. And then scare the piss out of the first colonists.
>>25867216Oh yeah. Since we don't need to breath space adventures are possible.Just pick a direction.
>>25867229Man, now I want to read a series about a sentient skeleton who drifts through space and has adventures.
>>25867237Half of that series could easily be him trapped in the capsule trying to work out what to do for the next 300 lightyears
First things first, quickly construct a sign that says "FRIENDLY SKELETON PLEASE DO NOT SMASH GOD BLESS" and hang it around my neck.
>>25867250I think the series should start off with him being picked up by aliens, or crash-landing on a planet.
Seeing this thread just reminds me how hard it is to escape from being buried alive, so I'm changing my will to specify that I be interned in a mausoleum so I can just walk out of my coffin and the front door if I am revivified as a skellington.Next order of business is to test my limits and senses. Make sure I can see, hear, all that jazz. Then time to protect my fucking bones. Bones are brittle, yo. Especially when your body isn't like, rehealing that shit and keeping them alive. Marrow is crucial. I'd need to get some crazy PVC bone armor or some shit. If my bones break, I'm totally fucked. Then I start a biker gang.
>>25867250>no bacteria to eat his bones>no way to kill himself>nothing to doEven after you go insane nothing changes.Being an immortal being would suck after some time. Assuming the whole "time goes faster the older you are" thing doesn't affect me I'd still get bored from doing anything pretty fast.Also, skeletor suit and the best he-man live action movie ever.
>>25867291>tfw you google it and it isn't real
>>25867290>PVC>not encasing yourself in titaniumBonus points if you can't feel touch/endure the pain of being submerged into liquid metal.METAL SKELETON BITCHES.
>>25867291>crew described as "sassy"Instant must-read
>>25867289Crash landing on a planet, getting trapped then forced to wait until the planet evolves life to dig him out.Or I guess colonists could find him.
>>25867315Does it run away really fast?
>>25867310FUCKThis book needs to be written.
Anyone ever read the Bartimaeus Trilogy? In the second book, a group of anarchists raid the tomb of the man who founded the British Empire, a powerful sorcerer. When they open the tomb they discover that the sorcerer bound a powerful Ifrit to his bones, trapping it in his decaying corpse for an eternity.Once freed, the rather insane skeleton proceeds to run about London, dancing like a lunatic and murdering random people. It's pretty great.
>>25867315Metal is still really brittle and would negatively impact the freedom of movement of your skeleton joints.
>>25867322Well that also raises the question of how much strenght you have left.If it's magical then fuck yeah it goes fast, if it's based on STR from previous life just switch to aluminum.Though using STR to move a full body on just bones would make you crazy fast anyways.
>>25867332Somehow I don't really think magical skeletons will care.
>>25867321stop applying real world logic to my dreams.
>>25867321>You mean you've been buried here all these years, just waiting to get out? How did you not go insane?>"You know, I really thought I would. I'm kind of surprised I didn't.">...>"Heh heh heh heh heh."
>>25867339I'd care if I were a magical skeleton. I got business to take care of, yo. I don't need to be breaking all my skeleton bones before I can get my murder on.
>>25867321>planet evolves to dig him outHoly shit, i'd make my own spaceship before some fucking bacteria landed there and became sentinent and inteligent.It would still take millenia.
>>25867310>he's never seen old Fark photoshop entries
>>25867342>>25867347I'm not very good at this. Still a series about a mentally deranged skellie having space adventures would be awesome.
>>25867355Just pick up some other bones as replacements, then.If you're giong on a killing spree there'll be lots of spare ones for you.
>>25867368Oh hell yeah, I'd read the fuck out of it.
>>25867373Ship of Theseus moment: at what point in your replacement cycle do you stop being your own skeleton, and therefore cease to be?
>>25867373It's like you're not even concerned about bone transplant rejection. You could have some kind of hyperacture magical rejection due to the mana or whatever dark necromantic glue binds your unholy shell together and bones would start popping off like the buttons on a fat person's shirt.Shit, son.You're not ready to be a skeleton.
>>25867357Thats even provided the planet can support life.Which it probably won't, if you're lucky the system's star might take the planet and you out at some point.Or it might not and you might end up stuck on a planet drifting through the cold blackness of space forever.
>this whole thread>no one wants to make a duo with a regular human, pose as his doll and make him the most rich and sucessful "ventriloquist" ever/tg/ please think of the comedy.
>>25867386Years of horror movie and comic logic dictates that swapping your skull or mummified heart is pretty much the final horizon.
>>25867386Never switch your skull or alway carry a pice of yourself attached to your current body.
>>25865774If it bleeds, we can kill it, gentlemen.>you show up>which variety would you like to be?
>>25867394You would be compared to Jeff Dunham. And fare poorly. I couldn't live forever knowing I was a poor man's Jeff Dunham.
>>25867393>not spending a few thousand years building a literal tower of Babel that actually brings you past the atmosphere and allows you to manually leave the planet by jumping outside of its gravity
>>25867391I'm magically moving through the air, and you can stop that just with some other bone type? That kind of blood reaction nullifies magic?Shit, on my next playthough i'll make a small bag with a bit of blood from every character i find, then throw it at the strongest necromancer i find. then punch him to death. then punch his lich-self to redeath.
>>25867400>>25867401So the skull is the animate part of you, with plug-in bones? Step one, get that shit reinforced and made shock-proof. Step two, time to kill me a gorilla. Or five. Or better, a horse and a crocodile.
>>25867386As long as your consciousness persists it doesn't really matter, since that's separate from the actual bones (unless explicitly tied to, say, the skull or something).Living humans go through something similar, many of the cells in our body have turnover rates and after a few years the majority of what's "us" isn't the same assemblage of matter it was before.
>>25867419>wanting to spend millions of years just floating around until you get suck up into a star or anything else that'll disintegrate you.
>>25867419Maybe just find a barren planet and spend billions of years building random crap on the surface or drawing rude words all over one hemisphere.Then when someone finally lands you can be like "it was just busywork".
>>25867419Well I guess that could work.But now I've just got an image of a skelton trying so many different ways to get off the planet like Will E Coyote.
>>25867431And take their bones.Make a bad-ass bone body with their body bones, and a bone armor with their skulls. Shit'll be fearsome.
I'd rustle the old bones before searching for a way out.Then I'd find a computer and get to rustling /x/'s jimmies.
>"Gnaw on my bone cock baby."
>>25867409Only human sized
>>25867443>not building a manual atomic pile>and then a bomb>and then launching yourself, Orion style, back into GLORIOUS SPACE
>>25867428I think he means that you can't just plug and play bones together like that unless you're casting necromantic spells yourself. YOU are animated by bonemagic. Random bones you find wouldn't be. I imagine that similar gender/race/etc bones may be compatible to your necromantic weave though.That's why you couldn't just jam a gorilla femur in there; it'd go all wonky.
>>25867419You're really going to build a space elevator on some backwoods planet using nothing but sticks and rocks?If you say so, skelly-man. It'd almost be easier to single-handedly build up the tech base necessary to construct some first or second generation liquid fuel rockets.
>>25867471Learn necromancy myself by hunting down my necromaster/the hard way.Make myself virtually indestructible.Also, is a skeleton that knows necromancy automatically a lich?
>>25867492You know considering the prior knowledge you'd have, It may only take a few thousand years to get to that point.
>>25867498I.... don't think so, but then again most skeletons aren't sentient, so I'm unclear on how that works.
I'll become a Gashadokuro.
>spend a few months enlisted in some necromancer's mindless undead horde>constantly making smalltalk and sarcastic MASH-style jokes>none of the other skeletons ever respond>pretend to be inanimate whenever heroes come to smash shit up
>>25867498No. Lich is soul trapped respawning skeleton.You gotta lock away your soul, then cause it to reanimate your skeleton perpetually.Now you are a lich.
Man, I remember reading an old Dragonlance book where there was this boss as fuck Skelly. At one point, the characters are in the villains lair, and they come across a narrow corridor. At the other end there's a crumpled old skeleton in battered armor with a bastard sword clutched in its lifeless hands.And when they try and pass it, it springs to life and cuts them a new one. Everytime they try and challenge it, it just stands there and hacks them to bits. It was great.
>>25867492No, no. Not a space elevator. Literally just a fucking tower. Straight up. No moving parts. Nothing fancy. No different really than a mountain that is so tall it pierces the atmosphere.The planet may be devoid of all forms of life, so there's possibly no plant/dead stuff/reactive/fissionable material. Might be the only option depending on the planet.
>>25867573Maybe it reaches the planet's moon.
>>25867550Do you remember which one? I take it that wasn't Lord Soth?
>>25867573It might also need to be a last resort, because that teeny delta-v of you hopping past a terminator line and off into the void isn't going to get you anywhere that ISN'T here for a long, long time after that.
>>25867595Nah, Lord Soth has personality and shit.
>>25867573>No different really than a mountain that is so tall it pierces the atmosphere.Physics are going to guarantee your tower pretty much never happens. There's a reason planets are more or less spherical.
>>25867608yeah.. that skelly sounds badass though
>>25867610Physics hasn't met a determined skeleton yet!
>mars rover runs into a skeleton drawing a pelvis in the sand
>>25867610I don't see how physics can prevent a primitive or even advanced space elevator.
>>25867633>skeleton goes out into space and leaves weird creepy monuments and stuff on all the planets Humanity expands through, one step ahead of the colonization ships
>>25867640structural stabilityshear forcegravity
>"Fucking finally, no more diabetes."See if I can mess with my limbs.Be 2 spookyBecome military operative or superhero, depending on whether or not the government hunts me down.
>>25867657All of which are mitigated by the fact that he is using the ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET as the base for this structure.
>>25867595Nah, it was.... one where a water elf comes to get an amulet of clairvoyance from Flint, but Tasselhoff steals it. The villain is a Red Mage who leans towards darkness, and they end up allying with a tribe of people who have wings made of fire, if I remember correctly.Sorry if that's a bit vague, it's been a long time.
>>25867662>find out you have bonebetes>must constantly eat pieces of yellow chalk or your bones don't move right>eat too much yellow chalk and your bones seize up entirely
>>25867669Do you even know how gravity works? Like, at all?
>>25867669Erosion, settling, and gravity would all conspire to rob you of more than one skeleton can output.
>>25867676CURSES UPON YOU NECROMANCER WHO DECIDED ONE LIFETIME OF THIS DISEASE WASN'T ENOUGHI become an economic lichpin of the chalk industry
>>25867680Enough to know that it will not prevent a properly moored, balanced structure from piercing the atmosphere, yes.
>>25867675Wanderlust, that's it. I remember thinking it was awesome because this group of heroes literally couldn't get by the skeleton. They couldn't outfight it with melee, and there were some pretty skilled fighters in the group. In the end one of the fire guys went supernova on it.
>>25864623Do you even have to ask? I'll find myself a wheel and roll around killing adventurers.Its like my life long dream.
>>25867693We don't know the status of the planet at all to determine whether or not erosion will occur, let alone settling or what gravitational forces are even present on this planet to rule out Tower of Babel scenario.
Kill that necromancer Zarok and become a true hero!
>a group of skeletons who ride around the universe on a space pirate shipi'm stealing this idea
>>25867640Problem 1: StabilityThe taller your tower gets, the greater amount of pressure it's going to exert on the base. Eventually it will be unable to support the rest without collapsing. Additionally, the taller it gets, the more significant an even tiny variance in evenness of the material affects stability, causing it to become off-balance and topple.Problem 2: Angular velocity/shear force. The planet is presumably spinning. The base of the planet and thus the lower portions of the tower have greater momentum than the upper portions. Eventually the force of the angular momentum will shear/snap the tower in twain.Problem 3: Available mass and gravityThe way to circumvent problems 1 and 2 would be to construct your tower as a pyramid. However doing so would require using a significant portion of the planet's mass. Eventually the planet would become so imbalanced that gravity would undo your efforts, this is why planets are spherical, not pyramidal or cubical, gravity pulls everything into a uniform spheroid.
>>25867724This is why I love /tg/
>>25867710Do you kill them physically, or - going off that picture - to you get to them on an emotional level and hope the kill themselves after they are dead inside?
>>25867714Just curious, when would erosion NOT occur?
>>25864623Wow, this is like the fantasy version of my dream where I wake up and I'm actually a robot.
>>25867330Yup, I liked that part. Although the golem part was also nice.
>>25867734Yeah, yeah, Solar Wind Erosion over millions of years..I'm talking about water/wind/atmosphere; near-to-immediate erosion worth mentioning that'd have an impact on building a planet-escaping ziggurat.
>>25864623I would begin a tireless journey in search of those that will accept me and can help me better understand why I've become Mr. Bones.Also I'll probably take time out of my journey to learn to tap dance and play the trumpet.
>>25867746Man, I loved that series.
>>25867700Aw shit, I remember buying that book.. and it was fucked up. Like a third of the book was missing, and replaced with duplicate pages of the first third of the book.
>>25867757Man, that's sketchy as hell.
>>25867757I have a copy of the Iliad with the first 30 pages or so replaced by the table of contents and first twenty or so pages of an unrelated and very boring short story collection.
>>25867774>from Homer's "eh, whatever" period
>>25867291>Heinsightin hindsight, when this was shopped, it should have also been writteneven if it was just a writefag in a thread or two
>thread about magical skeletons degenerates into the plausibility of cross-necromantic bone transplants, bone-diabetes, and the feasibility of constructing a terrestial-to-space ziggurat in unknown atmospheric conditionsFuckin' /tg/.10/10.
Become a world famous rockstar.
I'd love a Star Control 2-ish space adventure where you just stumble upon an animated talking skeleton on a barren world."Captain, please take me with you! I'll be a great help, I can feel it in my bones!"
skeletons = dogssummoned demons = catsprove me wrong
Become the most vicious pimp in all of Vegas.Super Bad-ass Sweet Daddy Bones.
how does one play skeleton hero? honestly I can only play Mary Sue Heros as fuck! Paladin good guy! Tell me smar/tg/uys how does one play something evil?
>>25864623I'd keep myself busy through eternity by volunteering (or getting paid well) to do jobs that would kill fleshies. Like... that japanese nuclear reactor that got flooded in the tsunami, the elderly were volunteering to clean our the reactor because they would die from natural causes before the cancer would kill them, i'd go do stuff like that. Deep sea exploration. or shoot me to mars. not needing to worry about water, food, air, radiation shielding, I could spend a coupla centuries setting up a forward base on mars (with whatever supplies, tools, maybe even some robotic helpers) for the eventual human landing. Would be a lot easier to get a foot in the door if there was a dome colony already constructed when you arrive.
>>25868091who says skeletons are evil you mortist
>>25868091Exactly the same way you play something good.The best evil feels it's actions are justified.
Probably just make bad skeleton puns.
>>25867905Skeleton:>You want me to do a thing? I will go do the thing.Demon:>I hate you. I hate this place, I just want to fuck shit up and rest.Sounds about right.
>>25868134idk man, bone cancer might still be an issue.
>>25867905Except you can't summon a cat. They come and go at their own leisure.
>>25867905Agreed.Dogs respect kids, and worry about them.Cats sit on their faces/chests so they suffocate.Also, some dogs are capable of remorse. Some skeletons are too.
Well real life isn't medieval fantasy, so I'd walk to a police station and explain what happened and make a load of money and fuck bitches with my bones.
Start a theme park
>>25868305people seem to have this thought that cats have humans serve them and they do what they want, you are fucking stupidI have met one cat that wouldn't come to be pet when I called it, I have met two dogs that won'tGuess what, hold a piece of meat and any goddamn cat on the planet will be your bitch
>>25868400Many cats I've seen don't even give a crap about meat, why are these assholes such picky eaters
>>25868349Demons eat kids while Skeletons will...what do Skeletons do with kids?
>>25868408cats are carnivores you delusional fuck, they are not goddamn intelligent creatures that do what they want, they are equally as smart as a fucking octopus or a racoon
>>25868417help them find their parents
>>25868423Just because they're carnivores doesn't mean they'll eat anything you put in front of them. I'm not sure what point you're trying to make.
>>25868417Sing and dance for themDo that thing where they roll their skull along their shouldersSkellies are natural showmen
>>25868423Nah. Cats are way dumber than raccoons.
>>25864623If I can escape my coffin, I go and find how I was ressurected. Then I go seek out my descendents, and see if my sons and daughters were as big as a disappointment as I thought they would be. Then I play the final version of dwarf fortress for the rest of my days
find slippery jon and head to Lowlead City
>>25864842Not just me that gets this eh?
>>25865127first prize to you
>>25867229>>25867237>>25867250>>25867289>>25867291>>25867320>>25867321>>25867325Captain's Log- Earth Year 2058Location: High Orbit Around Stellar Mass P-31 Auraxia I like to think we could have prevented this. As I sit here on my bunk, listening to Cadet Brimley clattering around outside in the messhall, I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of deep seated regret for the hand my crew and I were dealt all those many years ago. Navigator Pressley likes to assure me that it wasn't our fault, and that everything that happened was out of our now flesh-bare hands. I'm not hardly as optimistic.idfk I'm drunk
Travel to Paris, start exploring the catacombs there. Once i find the right place, set up a drug lab and become the undead psychedelic king / evil meth lich depending on my alignment.
>>25869212How does a skeleton become drunk?
>>25869241bone marrow saturating capsules
>>25869212>Navigator PressleyWait, is this fucking SHEPHARD?
>>25869257SO IT BEGINS
>>25868230Only if the bone tissue is still living. Cancer is cells that have grown the wrong way, but if you have no living bodyparts, you can't get cancer.
>>25864623An hero myself
>>25868305summoning rituals are basically the sound of cans being opened to demons
>>25869741It means you feel it because you imagine it strongly enough. Like people who think they are pregnant, so they start to develop all the signs, but actually aren't.
>>25868230What is the cancer going to impede, exactly? Your essential biological systems?
>>25868408My cat eats everything, waffles, crackers, dairy, meat, popcorn, cake, cookies. Everything. It's distracting
>Learn magic>Acquire cool hat of euphoria >Become a detective, then spend the rest of my days wise-crackingJust kidding, I'd scream forever
>>25869867I'm gonna kill you! Brandish kazoo!
>>25869233>you start getting involved in various community and charity efforts as part of a diguise, doing them more and more until your start up your own charity.gentlemen, i present to you..Breaking Good
>>25869891Say, how is that series? It seems interesting, but it is in one of the worst genres. Young Adult.On topic: I'd wander around the country, looking in people windows.
>>25869891The first two books are great but it really hits its stride at the third. The next two are just as good, but the latest was quite luck-luster compared to the rest. Don't be too worried about the whole Young Adult tag.
>>25869867That anon needs some therapy.
>>25869892Now when I count three!
>>25869867You're a nut! You're crazy in the coconut!
>>25864623Second chance at life? Become the hero I never was (pic related)
>>25870062He was white as a sheet...
>>25870093And he also made false teeth.
I'd get some treasure and a "map" to even more treasure. Then I would get myself a nice throne room and sit on the throne with the map clenched in my hands.Eventually some kids show up and take the map, hoping to go on a quest and becoming legends. At this point, I get up from my nap and spook them away.And if they end up being brave and serious about becoming heros, I kill them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLrnkK2YEcEFuck, now it's stuck in my head.A MAN WITH A GOLDEN EYEBALL
>>25869867>>25869892>>25870010>>25870049>>25870062>>25870093>>25870113I love you guys.
>>25870082Get over to /v/, faggot
>>25865038>skeleton>make friends with the local dog population.
>>25864623Why can I think?What the fuck is holding me together?Can I feel? (the answer to that is "no")I have no sense of equilibrium...I can't feel the ground under my feetI can't feel my center of gravityI can't talkwhy
are we from gallowmere?do we dance?we should worship Hydra>man, I miss that quest...
Learn to FIDDLE
Once I'm done freaking the fuck out, begin the long and laborious process of unearthing myself. I have eternity, so fuck it.Once I'm out, I creep out of there, find a whiteboard and a marker, and make myself a celebrity.
>>25870238>not birthing more skeletons
Does anyone have that table where you roll things like Spooky and Scary? There was an image made related to it too.
>>25870303Obviously becoming a famous skelly means I can make all my groupies into skelly.
GUYS!GUYS, IF THIS HAPPENS WE ALL HAVE TO MEET UP FOR SYNCHRONIZED SPOOKING!WHERE IS OUR DESIGNATED SKELETON MEETING ZONE?
>>25870379Based on this thread it'll be on a massive fallen space tower on a small planet near Tau Ceti.Also we'll be performing Frontier Psychiatrist.
>>25870195>Darkness>Imprisoning Me>All That I See>Absolute Horror>I Cannot Live>I Cannot Die>Trapped in Myself>Body My Holding Cell>Landmine>Has Taken My Sight>Taken My Speech>Taken My Hearing>Taken My Arms>Taken My Legs>Taken My Soul>Left Me with Life in Hell
>>25870379Make it somewhere the normals can't get too, like the middle of the ocean or something. Maybe Point Nemo? The furthest you can get from land?
>>25870397Ooh I vote for Disney. It is the magical kingdom after all.
>>25870401>CRAAAAAWLING OUTSIDE MY SKIIIIIIIN
>>25869931It has some cool ideas, but overall it's pretty shit. Saying that I'd read it just because skeletons.
>>25870397Seconding Disney World
>>25870416We can even all squat in The Haunted Mansion and no one would ever catch us!
>>25870404That's actually pretty smart, I vote the Sahara Desert.>>25870397>>25870416>masses of skeletons arrive at Disneyworld>everyone thinks Disney is pulling some sort of promotional act>good times and fun had for all>all while employees are trying to keep their cool and contain the situation
>>25870430>Hey Bob, when did this ride get so many skeletons>I dunno Bill, but I dont gotta clean em so I dont give a fuckI'm in.
>>25867753Making a tower that pierces that atmosphere is going to be pretty difficult if there is no atmosphere.
go out and find some hot dudes to bone
this is 2spookyan anon that didn't say "scream forever" is lying to themselves
You're going about this the wrong way, just be simple.>Escape grave>Test senses>Acquire hooded robe>Travel only at night>Stay in a small town>Become an urban legend>Continually scare the fuck out of kids/drunk people.
>>25864623-Join the Skeletal Army, get benefits from Non-Human Resources office of Dark Lord Wossname.-Convince fellow Skeletal warriors on the proper usage of tactics and not advance one by one towards a hero like in the movies.-Bitch constantly about the lack of fluoride in the office water dispenser.-Constistently make boner/boning/bone jokes on tavern wenches.-Start a blog and leak out information of apparent mistreatment of skeletals within Skeletal Army. Call it Skeleleaks,-LAUGH AT ARCHERS, FOREVER.-Forever have a phobia of bludgeoning weapons.-Install lightbulbs in my cranium to be xtra spooky.-Start an anonymous support group for living people suffering the effects of the realization that they have skeletons inside them. Call it "Association of Skeletons for Incarnated Skeletals (ASIS)."
>>25870540We can scream forever at Disney World.
>>25864878You now realize how badly drawn the left hand and the cane is.
>we ride the rollercoasters at Disney>the loops take out half of usIt will be a mess, all of our bones touching each other
>>25870660You could say that we loved Disney World to bits.
Approach NASA and hire myself out as a Deep Space Explorer.Shit would be neat. Observe:>No need of food.>No need of air.>Have the patience of stone>PERFECT.>Can fit into small spacecraft,>No need for advanced maths I can pilot this shit.>My hollow skeletal frame can serve as a chassis to be fitted with computers, cameras, and other equipment.>Boldly go where no man has ever gone before...and yet be no man at all!Only downside is I would need a degree in Astrophysics, chemistry, geology, and in the case of Aliums: Biology. Or else i'd be yelling basic shit such as THIS ROCK IS COLOR RED AND IS VERY VERY ROUGH back to NASA HQ from Mars.
>>25870720>NASA sends waves of Skelenauts to colonize and terraform MarsNot only is that awesome, but it doesnt lead to armies of giganigga roaches.
>become frontman of a metal band
>>25864623Well the first thing I would do, would be to hide inside a one of the old spooky boat rides. While the riders of the boat ride are spookied out from my sudden and random arrival, i'll use one of my expertly hidden hands to cut a tuff of hair from them. I would then over time glue the collected hair to myself, that one day I could leave my spooky house prison and rejoin the warm living with all my glorious hair. Oh and of course be screaming forever.
I'm fighting crime, that's the only acceptable option.
>Even as a skeleton the economy still bones you>Bagging at Walmart>People have still seen weirder shit at Walmart
>>25868423>implying that Cephalopods are not intelligent>implying that Molluscs, such as the Octopi, have not been observed to possess what we see as higher cognitive capabilities when compared to many beings within the kingdom of Animalia
>>25868423>Implying cats are anywhere near as smart as octopi. >or, for that matter, as smart as raccoons. Cats are dumb. Like, really dumb.
>>25870781>skeletal methheads shopping at Walmart, shoplifting to feed their addiction
>>25871160Addiction to what?
>>25871195presumably meth, given the mention of the skeletal forms being "methheads," as they say. Although really who knows what skeletons are in to.
I'd pimp my body out to science in a bid to learn why skeletons are coming alive, in exchange for cool upgrades like skull lasers and a robot exoskeleton.Then I'd travel through space.
>>25871334Is that why theyre always cackling madly inside of barrels?captcha: Jaafar rivethi
>>25871471So in short you'd become Skeletron, huh?I'd search space for Deep Rot. Clearly if Skeletrons are a thing, so too is Deep Rot.
... Honestly?I'd flick lit matches onto people while they try to take a shit.
>>25867216Actually a skeleton would be an incredible asset to NASA.
>>25864623>Try to fap>feel bad>try to cry>Feel worse>Proceed to go get some clothes to hide my boniness >find nearest carousing tavern, slowly warm up to everyone>Proceed to make bone puns and random crap>become friendly neighbour hood skeleton and answer peoples questions about life and death.
>>25873008>implying a skeleton wouldn't be an incredible assest everywhere forever
Where did this "scream forever" thing come from? Google sin't helping.
>>25865038>if that somehow fails>somehow
>>25873465>THE RIDE NEVER ENDS
Scream forever in my coffin.And then dig.And then Donate my life to science.SCIENCE!Scream of science forever.
>>25864623>Find some clothes (preferably a tattered robe)>Levitate into a book store>Take my required reading material>Make my way into the new york sewers>construct a laboratory>Kidnap people>Practice my necromancy >Become a Lich>Build an army>Make news with all the kidnappings>Decend my evil magick upon a town ending in -Shire>???>I dont fucking know im a skeleton
Be spooked forever
>>25864623I'd only want to socialize, but I don't think I should.
>>25874741Well aren't you a spooky, scary skeleton?
Fight bad guys I guess.
>>25870137THAT BOY NEEDS THERAPY
Find a crew, sail out to sea, ask women if I can see their panties.YO-HO-HO-HO-HO YO-HO-HO-HO!
>>25870423Am I the only One?
>>25875132THIS MARROW CAN NOT FE-EEEL
Become SKELETON-MANSTRENGTH OF MAN AND SKELETONWEAKNESS OF NONEAND FIGHT CRIME WITH SPOOKY POWERS
well, other than a screaming fit, probably find my way into a library or some such.>discover you're a long-dead skeleton>long-deadGotta get a quick history lesson and get up to speed. I mean, apparently there's magic and shit around now. Ignorance is a horrible state of being. Maybe there are undead rights? Maybe everyone things I'm a monster. Or just some lost grandpa that needs help finding his family. After that, you know, there are a lot of open source projects that need help. ETERNALLY
>>25875360>no rib drums>no ribbings
>>25865994I think you are mixing up your cartoons brah.
>>25867699The main problem with stuff like this is the material collapsing under its own weight, not being able to handle the weather conditions, etc. etc.If you're doing this by literally just shovelling fuckloads of dirt on top of itself to create a mega mountain then aint nothin' gona stop you apart from erosion, and maybe not even that if there's literally not atmosphere/water/wind
>>25867394>wanting to do Achmed the Dead TerroristIt was kinda funny when you saw it the first time. Second time I was bored out of my skull.
>>25868134You still shouldn't help out at nuclear sites unless absolutely necessary, as your bones will absorb untold amounts of radiation, especially as you seem to be inherently magical, and then it would emit them in possibly lethal amounts for decades, possible over hundreds of years, depending on the scale of the disaster.
>>25875571After "Arguing with Myself", Jeff Dunham's career went into a sharp decline.
>>25864623Find the nearest Necromancer, fuck his shit up, reclaim my jaw (if possible) and show that bastard Gargoyle who's the real hero of Gallowmere
>>25869257mass effect 4: radical skeleton adventures
>>25869212Where is the sass anon. You said there would be sass.
>>25876053I got that reference!
>>25864623try to talk, try to dance, try to pick things up. see is anyone can understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.
>>25877671What's the best instrument for a skeleton to learn? Fiddle? Xylophone?
Follow people around, saying boner occasionally and giggling about it.Gotta do something with your undeath, right?
>>25877742talents vary. experiment till you find the instrument for you.the ribcage expands and contracts so you could mount a bellows in your chest that vents into a special adapter who's shape is manipulated by your teeth and learn to play Trombone.
>>25877869>Tromboneheh heh heh heh....
So, guys. I've read through this entire thread, and as always: You amaze me. My plan was simple.>Assuming I still have my five senses>Assuming I can't feel pain>Assuming I don't need to breathe, eat or drink>Assuming my Skull is the thing holding me togetherWakre up in the grave. At first I'd be terribly shocked. Then I would think about my Situation. I'd probably try everything to leave my grave. I'll probably use a rib or whatnot to get out. I'l try to do this unseen. I would then proceed to steal some clothing, a cloak or whatnot, hiding during the day. I would then rob a local store to archieve a pen and some paper. With this I'll write a letter to my family, explaining my situation. I'll tell them to meet me somewhere, probably at night. If they realize it's my conciousness, my dad would probably take care of some cabin or something, far away from the rest of the world. I believe my family would come and visit me fairly often, I'd then get them to bring me my books, my PC, a bed. (I hope I can sleep, even just for shits and giggles; it's like my favourite thing to do.) After I require Internet connection, read enough books, played enough Vidya I'd probably go on /tg/ and start a thread about what others would do if they became a skeletion.
>>25878086OH GODmaybe the skinwalkers will help us kill the skulptingtops.
>>25878086sounds like a plan.
>>25878086>I'd probably go on /tg/ and start a thread about what others would do if they became a skeletion...huh. Welp. How's undeath treatin' ya?
Reenact Shakespeare in the middle of a storm outside a one-man research outpost.
>>25878736Skeletons are immune to skinwalkers because they have no skin.