Nat 20, nat 1 thread?
Natural 1 (Distraction)
Charisma Check (natural 1)
Pretty sure this gets posted in everyone nat 20 / nat 1 thread. It's from a movie titled Ironclad btw.>nat 20>nat 20 on confirm>max damage>target fails Fortitude save against massive damage>Cleave>nat 20 on Cleave target
>>25607008Now if only the movie at large hadn't been the result of...Perform (write script) nat 1Fort check (resist parkinssons) nat 1
I always wonder:Are people making these AWARE that a Natural 20 doesn't do shit outside of combat?
>>25607067It's more that we don't really care, and it's funnier to pretend it does.
>>25607067Yes but they really don't care, it's a joke. If you are wearing fullplate, have 12 str and no ranks in swim you still easily drown with a 20 while trying to swim.
>>25607028>attack nat1.gif>not "e rank in luck.gif"Bitch, please.
>>25607067Skyward vagina disagrees.
Nat 20 Hide
>>25606600Nat 20 (Distraction)
>>25606612we ought to make more of these>Roll sleight of hand check for success in three-card monte>20>Your hands are gone as far as you and everyone else is concerned, you can no longer use weapons, -10 penalty on all skill checks
>>25607199>Roll Intimidate to get the guy you captured to tell you everything he knows.>20>The guy dies from a fear-induced heart attack.
Do Critical Glitches (Shadowrun) count? I like to have critical glitches for enemies as well, and often make them silly or fatal, depends on the training of the enemy.One time, a russian mobster tried to fire full auto with a machine pistol, he wasnt good at machinepistols and had a dice pool of only 2, because of long full auto bursts effect of taking 5 off the dice pool in order to add 5 damage.Rolled the 2 dice pool, both ones, ultra critical glitch.>The Russian first his first two shots, both missing you.>the recoil of the first two shots has sent the gun barrel just under his chin.>the third shot fires right into his skull>He is dead, shot himself in the headI rolled 1d6 to determine how many seconds his body still stands there.He was used as partial cover for a fire fight between two guys who had 4 initiative passes.
>>25607268This guy failed his Throw.
>>25607253>Roll craft to create a makeshift slingshot>20>You have gained a plasma rifle
>>25607268That poor bear! Look at how nice and polite it was as well...Fuck that old guy.
>>25607067>what are house rules
>>25607253>Roll hacking to get into a computer, because you need info from 1 of their databases>20>Your mind is merged with the World Wide Web thus creating skynet.
>>25607309Bullshit for babies
>>25607199>Need to hide from king's men, pose as street performer>Roll 20>Your new career leads you to prosperous new heights>Taken to perform for the king>Recognized, executed
This is some sort of critical success at berserking, I just don't know exactly what.
Looks like I'm out now, so here's whatever this is.
True story: Nat 20 Diplomacy check>"Hey, could you hold these grenades for me for a sec?">Run like hell
>Roll to Detect a hidden door. >Nat 20.> Become aware of everything, and driven mad by infinity.
>>25607365Lame. The whole "Going crazy" angle is always used when people try to get all grim-dark and edgy.
>>25607330>no fun allowed
Nat 1 disguise
>Be in first proper D&D campaign ever>character finds most of the party to be either incredibly dangerous or incredibly annoying>generic dungeon trap goes off, pit opens up>warlock rolls nat 1 and falls in.>Rogue throws a rope to help warlock up>rogue rolls nat 1 on strength check and lets go of rope, which falls into pit.>warlock throws it back up. Ranger tries this time. nat 1's. gets pulled into the pit with warlock.>spend about 30 more minutes trying to haul everyone out of the most generic pitfall in the book (literally)>laugh my ass of the whole time.
>>25607330Look at the grognard cry.
>>25607330>I only play make-believe pretend games like a badass.
>>25607403>>25607402>>25607388Play it right or don't play it at all
>>25607357SHE CAUGHT THE FUCKING FOLDING CHAIR
>>25607414>completely ignoring the first and most important rule of role playing games>have fun, change stuff if it doesnt fit you>>/out/
>>25607414>>25607330Lawful Evil DM detected>PC: "oh no I rolled a 1 on my fortitude">DM: "you die">PC: "but I spent so long on this character, I was just getting to...">DM: "shut the fuck up and deal with it"Yeah... people like you suck
>>25607414Man, your group must love you...
>Roll to seduce the guard>Nat 20>Your display is so arousing the guard starts shrieking as he orgasms right before passing out in a pool of his own spooge, his screams have alerted most of the castle.
>>25607383>Complain about edge. >Nat 1>SO EDGY
>>25607414Best troll all day
>>25607428If you're going to have an enemy use an instant death effect then be prepared to deal with the consequences>>25607431I don't make the rules, I'm just a PC but my group doesn't do any houserules and we have fun
>>25607348>Person seems suspicious, roll for sense motive>20>His entire life up to this point flashes before your eyes as your minds meld together
>>25607381who said he pulled the pins?
>>25607358Whatever it is, it's a critical success.
>>25607436>Player/Characters face when
>>25607357I once played a Sheboon in DnD.
>>25607381Hey, I wasn't lying to the guy or forcing him to do anything. I asked a favor.
>>25607451You probably don't even know the rules well enough to tell.
>>25607460>Person seems suspicious, roll for sense motive>20>Spoil the surprise party he was planning for you
>>25607348Best one.>>25607253Second best.The rest lack any subtlety.
>>25607396Ah - if we're having these...>Playing Elder Scrolls Homebrew>Rogue character is attempting to sneak into a bandit compound.>Proceeds to roll a critical fail - 100 on D100.>Bandits watch as this Khajit sneaks in through the front entrance - making mission impossible and other sneak-music sounds - do a few rolls, hide behind low walls.>Bandits look at each other; "Who's this fucking guy?" They draw steel and charge.
>>25607263I only just realized that massive error*The Russian fires his first two shots
>>25607513What makes you assume that?
Honest Truth: Last Game session for my party became, very briefly: Critical-mania.>Enemy wizard is standing on a overhead ledge with their back to a wall, casting spells down at us.>Party archer attempts to pin his hand to the wall.>Gm gives her a penalty, but lets her try.>Nat 20.>Confirm: Nat 20.>Enemy spellcaster cannot cast if you disable their hand...>Paladin's turn, he's smiting some evil.>Nat 20, Confirms>Kills it>My turn comes around.>Zapping with Vicious Mockery>20.>GM's turn>out of 5 monsters, 3 get 20's.By the end of the encounter, we had 13 critical hits performed. Everyone had scored a critical hit except for our Dwarf Fighter.
>>25607357>>25607423Fucking Hulking Hurlers.
>>25607199>Attempt to cut through a rope>20>You have split the atom
>>25607589>not playing an epic level hulking hurler and throwing asteroids at Neutronium GolemsStep up sempai
>>25607357Rolled a 20 to chimp out.
>>25607557>Dwarf Day Afternoon>In theatres July 12
Confirm critical hit.
>>25607357I believe we just call this one RULES OF NATUREhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuGlP8zaw_I
>>25607314That cheeky fucker continued dancing afterwards
Note: The group I'm in these days does ERP. Big whoop.>Playing Savage Worlds, Slipstream setting>Playing a Valkyrian, Mechanic and back-up pilot>Party finds a crashed ship on a frozen planet, goes to investigate>Find lots of funny-looking pills around>Only way to test what they do is to take one, so my character takes one>Roll Vigor periodically to resist effects>Two Critical successes, then one crit failure>Benny to recover, adds another crit failure>Pill is ecstasy, kicks in in the blink of an eye>Holy shit everything is wonderful, I feel so happy, hey douchebag I despise, come have sex with me>Ecstasy wears off after fading to black>Character is now thoroughly confusedAnd then in another game I'm in with this group...>Be playing Black Crusade>Playing a Psyker with a wicked case of amnesia, uses a serial number branded on her arm as her name>Party is investigating a chaos group performing a ritual on a wind turbine, my Psyker is freaking out at what they're trying to do>Don't stop ritual in time, the Turbine sends off a blast of energy into the air>Roll willpower. Fuck yeah, Willpower's my best stat>Roll a 100>Somebody fuck me now, I've never felt this horny before>Is now an apprentice to the powerfist-wielding Chaos Marine in the group after she, well, serviced him. Couldn't be happier.Fuck if you guys judge me for being in a ERP group and liking it, those were the first two times I actually had fun getting a critical failure.
>nat 1 on a will save to resist fear
>>25608396>Somebody fuck me now, I've never felt this horny beforeba-dum-tss
>>25608396>being this defensive without being attackedshiggy diggy
>>25607423She threw a table, then batted one chair down with her purse, and caught another one.The fuck happened to piss her off so thoroughly that she'd just throw a table and then just deal with someone throwing two folding chairs at her?
>>25606683In his defense, Drow women have spiders EVERYWHERE.
>>25608544I don't know but if we find a way to utilize such rage we may have a very potent weapon on our hands
>>25608544Clearly she's the deity of rioting
>>25607067god i wouldnt want to play in your group
>>25608097Holy shit my sides
>>25607606Time Lords mentioned in that????
>>25607189i lost my shit
>>25607357nat 1 at having time
>>25607606What the fuck?What are these things?Who the shit makes them?
>>25607189>ocarina of time speedrun.gifExplain, please.
>>25608707They're golems made from dead stars. They also have a typo on the CR, they should be like ~972. They're made by Time Lords which are basically "I AM the campaign setting, personified," which can generally only be killed by ONE spell they're not immune to and ONE specific weapon that exists within them. To clarify:Universes are sentient and sapient. They produce golems made from the hearts of stars, called Neutronium Golems to carry out tasks for them here and there, usually to provide sunlight to solar systems within them (the time lords) that have had their suns burn out or to crush the shit out of really uppity deities trying to control or kill the time lord.
>roll up a nosferatu who was a detective in life>say he has a police issued shotgun>roleplaying for days>get to a combat scenario>celerity up to an enemy vampire in a subway station>"Describe how you attack, anon">"I put the end of the barrel at his temple and pull the trigger">ST laughs and extends the reroll range of the dice all the way to 8>get a retarded amount of success>several of his buddies run away
>>25608707>Who the shit makes them?basically, sentient universes
>>25608761http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M7IINwTFVwIt's about timing when you do a certain glitch. Do a couple backflips and walk sideways out of ghoma's door, and it teleports you to Ganondorf's castle
>>25607253I managed this as a level 1 town guard, i used my strength for the check and said i lifted him off the ground, screamed in his face for the info, spittle hitting him in the eyei got like a 38 or something with the house +10 to the result from a nat 20 rule
>>25608833>watermelonThat's a cabbage.
>WoD>Staking Vampire we need to capture alive>Str check>successes, successes everywhere>you strike him so hard you rip his heart out of the body>he crumbles to dust in front of youThanks Obama
>>25608841Ah, cool. Thanks.
>>25608833That is not a watermelon. That is a head of lettuce. You can tell because of the leaves, and because, of all the pieces that fly off of it, not a single one is red.
>>25608831Also people who try to escape their own universe, they also wreck the everloving fuck out of them, basically for when players hop the rails so hard they end up in a completely different setting, like going from Eberron to Forgotten Realms.
>>25608888Cabbage is nothing more than the poor man's Watermelon.
>>25608997Why do they wreck the everloving fuck out of people who try to dimension hop?Do universes hate people doing that?
>>25609045because every 10 hours spend on /tg/ there is 1 in 20 chance of acquiring new fetish (unless you're already maxed out)
>>25609039Well, considering that, when you go through, you're removing some of the universe's potential energy in the form of whoever you take with you, I'd say that that might not be very high on their list of, "things I enjoy having happen."
>>25609142Sounds about right.
>>25609181So Neutronium Golems are universe plugs?
>>25609045As someone who isn't into BE, I blame the fact that it's Malon.
>>25607299But that's not how this is supposed to work.>Roll craft to create a makeshift slingshot>20>You have invented the nuclear bomb ushering in the third world war, the blood of millions of innocent lives covers your hands
>>25607253>Under water too long, make endurance checks to hold your breath.>Nat 20>You can stay underwater indefinitely, but can no longer breathe air.
>>25609366>the plasma rifle has stability of it's 40k namesake>burns your arm off the first time you attempt to use it
>>25607253>Roll animal empathy to calm a wild bear>Nat 20>You perform a mind-meld with the bear. The bear absorbs your thoughts and memories, you absorb his base instincts.>Reroll your character>(Or just play as the bear)
>>25607253>Roll status to learn who is King of this land>Nat 20>It's you. You are King.
>>25607253>Roll religion to learn who is the God depicted on this altar.>Nat 20.>It's you. You are that God.
>>25609418>become Sir Bearingtonwhich is awesome
no, this is basically a /b/ epic fail epic win threadfuck off
>>25607253>Roll dexterity to perform a contortion act.>Nat 20>Your body folds in on itself like a mobius strip.
>>25609470>badwrongfunHow about you fuck off, because everyone else seems to be having a good time
>>25607253>Roll language to see if you understand Goblin>Nat 20>Goblin is your first language.>Because you are a goblin.
>Roll seduce on the King as a man>Natural 20>he becomes homosexual and his dynasty extincts
>>25607253>Roll healing to suck the venom from a snakebite>Nat 20>You drain the victim's body of all its fluids.
>>25607253>I pat the rogue on the back for a job well doneRoll>What? No, I'm just...ROLL>Nat 20Oh shit!...>What happens to him?...>Oh God...He really appreciates the gesture. Your relationship improves by 1 degree.>Oh thank God....>......>Then he explodes, doesn't he?Yes, then he explodes.
>>25609517Desired effect achievedThe venom does not kill the person
>>25607304"Hey buddy, I's jus gonna take a lil bite outa you hand here, otay? Jus gonna...">"No! Bad bear! No.""Ow, hey, I sorry guy."
>>25609045Really, you're upset at finding sudden enlargement of breast and implied lactation arousing? Really kinda vanilla , so don't let it get you down. Buck up and explore your new interest and remember, you could have found something more embarrassing, lord knows I have.
>>25609455>Roll a History check to see who the skeleton in the coffin is>Nat 20>It's you, you are the skeleton>You die
>>25607293thats more of a failed catch
>>25609142Remind me what the cap is again? I've heard different numbers from different rulesets.
>>25609575Let that be a lesson to ya. Don't give the GM any ideas.
>>25609699The soap turned into a cake, you would have to roll a natural 1 to have SOAP turn into CAKE.
>>25607008this reminds me of what its like laying seige to a castle in Mount and Blade
>>25609730yeah, but the didnt even move his hand to catch it
>>25609745it turned into a cake, he was all, fuck this shit, might as well take it like a man.
>>25609674... more embarrasing? so like how my character once discovered he had a fetish for smoked cheeses?
Latest games with friends.>Handle Animal check>Nat 20>GM gives me animal empathy with my horse and gives me a permanent +4 when handling it.
>>25608544I'm pretty sure that's their mating ritual. The female demonstrates her strength and fitness by hurling a table. The males, if pleased by her display, will throw chairs in response. If the female catches the chair, she has agreed to begin the courtship proper.
>>25609766I sense a story.I'm not sure if I want to hear it or not...
>>25609730I think you mean the opposite of what you said.
>>25609787thats just statswouldve been better if you had taught your horse to speak like an english gentlemen
>>25609799not much to it really, i played a bard who, regardless of how high my cha was, would fail his rolls with the opposite sex, unless there was smoked cheddar/whatever in the room, so he started associating sex with smoked cheese...
>>25609871W... wait, are you saying that you're angry? Is that--I think the formatting is making your meaning a little unintentionally compromised.
>>25609871would you like a pic?it illustrates your point quite well
>>25609900he's saying that you should kill yourself for putting an emoticon.It's not that fucking complicated.
>>25609900I'm not the guy who posted the emoticon, for the record.I mean that perhaps you should have put some sort of spacing or intervening words between the ">" and the ":)".
>>25609900We don't do emoticons on /tg/ :)
>>25610087Or anywhere else on 4chan for that matter.
>GMing Black Crusade.>Slaaneshi apostate rolls fellowship on convincing priest to sleep with him. (make it a -30 modifier)>Rolls 10>Priest get gangfucked by Slaaneshis.One of the players was a CSM, and the final fight was to take on a dreadnaught that had found them with a SM squad. CSM(Sliver was his name) readies a chainfist he stole from a SM Captains corpse. Runs up and hits. What does he hit? Double 10 out of 2d10. Zealous Hatred. Maxes out damage.>No face to describe my fury when he one-shots my dreadnaught.
>Roll for Internet Lore> Critical Failure> XDDDD
>>25610087I would really like to know the story behind this manner.
>>25607358And now I like holstauri again.
>>25610201it's mostly because are a cheap and faggoty way of communicating emotion, and they make you look like a 12 year old.look at the following> thanks for the monster girl dump :)> thanks for the monster girl dumpor> lel, get a load of this nigger! XD> lel, get a load of this nigger!one looks annoying and immature, and the other looks like it's from 4chan (which is annoying and immature, but less so than emoticons)the only emoticon we accept is ;_; ,simply because it conveys a fairly wide range of emotions in a way that makes sense (muh feels, no sleep tonight, ETc...)
>>25610281Oh, i understand the difference and all those. I just wondered if there is some kind of story behind it.
>>25610330I don't think so, i just think it is an axiom of 4chan to be honest, most people who have been on here for any length of time all innately understand that emoticons are for fags.
>>25610201Emoticons can be used for two things:- convey the tone of your post in a way written text just cannot do- be a shiteating teenage memespouter thinking the internet is his fucking blogSince 4chan is an Imageboard, you can and should post a picture if your post needs context, even a shitty reaction pic will do better than a smiley. This means that anyone using emoticons is either not even trying or in the second case described above.
>>25608686Not those Time Lords. In Immortals, Time Lords are essentially sapient universes. The books themselves are pretty bad but there are some cool concepts sprinkled in.Nexus dragon whip.
>>25610378>not punctuatingSaved it anyway.
>>25610405have a free picture
>>25610378Everyone knows the only acceptable emoticons are <:3c and :V anyways
>Roll heal check to cure Venereal Disease>Roll 1>Accidentally create airbourne AIDS
>>25610378this guy gets it, on normal forums where image posting is difficult (for instance, BBcode, while easy, is more tedious than 4chan's system), emoticons are normally acceptable (unless spammed)we on 4chan however, have the ability to go beyond 2-4 character representations of emotion
>>25610378>first pic: reality>second pic: how I choose to perceive people who do what I don't want them to>so you'd better do what I say or I'll project SO MANY imaginary character flaws on you
>>25610439Adam please go.
>>25610445Eh, it could have been worse.
>>25610439what about ;_; ?
>>25610493Less acceptable, but still not faggotry like the rest.
>>25610445>airborne AIDSNah, a mutated form of AIDS that also happen to be airborne. Zombie AIDS.
>>25610466>explosive>inflicting heavy blunt traumawut?
>Roll to disable trap>20>Trap becomes so safe you convert it into a panic room and jodie foster kills you for it
>>25610509To understand this, you must understand how massive pressure waves interact with flesh.
>Roll listen>20>The sound or air particles moving deafens you permanently
>>25610378don't really need emoticons for this site, just use reaction images to convey the tone of your message. for example:I'm getting Married!
>>25610547Invest in manacles to keep your guests in their seat until you are well away from the wedding.
>Roll Handle Animal>20>Arrested for bestiality
>>25610557I rolled a nat 20 for Handle Animal to "work with" our Sorceress's familiar (a bobcat, since she took the Improved Familiar feat.)My character is now the bobcat's "second favoritest human ever."
>>25610445>roll heal check to cure unknown illness>Roll 20>creates an aggressive antibody that kills all diseases/viruses/ailments everywhere>humans evolve over the next millennium to not have an immune system, all disease is dead>alien plague>kills everyone
>>25610547Marriage makes everything more interesting, from ceremonies at the church to cold-blooded murder.
>>25610547Thing is, not everyone has many reaction images but it's fairly easy to construct emoticons.
>Roll Survival>20>Spend 10 years building a farm and planting vegetables. Totally fail current mission
>>25610617>don't have enough reaction images>lurk on 4chan for a week>you now have enough reaction imagesuntil then, you can spell out your posts tone and put English class to good use.
>roll perform: percussion>nat 20>I accidentally create dubstep.
>Roll Intelligence check>1>Forget to breathe. Fort save or death.>20>Live forever
>>25610646This man speaks the truth.
>>25610547If the married are dead, does the formula changes to "Until life do us part"?
>>25610679more like rolled a 1>Craft music>Roll a 1>Dubstep
>>25610698More like "Until fucking paladins do us part"
>>25610646But then I'd have the same reaction images as everyone else, which would make me appear very generic. Besides, reaction images haven't even been a thing for that long, I'll catch up next year or whatever when they become mainstream enough there's a popular website with a tag system.
>Contemplating meaning of life>DM: roll intelligence check>20>Realize you are a character in a D&D game
Nat 1 on Animal Empathy.
>>25610736you would have the same emoticons as everyone else too.
>try to kick a low-health party-member who is on the ground to wake up (didn't know he was low-health since it was dark and I was just arriving to the scene)>roll 20>accidentally killed himNot really, but we played with the idea for a few minutes with DM
>Cleric: Roll knowledge religion>roll 20>become Nihilist, lose all powers from your deity
>Attempting to repair damaged armour>20>The armour surface gleams so brightly and flawlessly that in bright sunlight it starts fires. >End of campaign loot chest after defeating the BBEG in his inner sanctum>1>Find a stash of porn and used wank rags>Gryphon following the party for reasons of its own. Injured after aiding the party in a skirmish>Handle Animal to get it to calm down>20>The gryphon is now hopelessly in love with the party rogue and gets intensely jealous of women he talk to.
>>25610736Jesus christ. I actually hate you. I legitimately hate your guts and wish you harm. 10/10
>playing "on 4chan" RPG>which board should i go to?>roll intelligence>1>/tg/
>>25610829>The gryphon is now hopelessly in love with the party rogue and gets intensely jealous of women he talk to
>>25610829Dunno why, but the gryphon thing sounds like a recipe for something hilarious.
>>25610855>playing "On 4chan" 3rd Edition>roll intelligence to begin browsing>nat 20>close browser and never visit website again
>>25610855Could have been worse. Imagine a campaign set in /po/. Nothing ever happens.On the other hand, /x/ makes an awesome setting. Business as usual is weird and vaguely scary shit like you're living in Halloween Town, but once a month the hordes of /b/ invade. You have to defend your board against the shitstorm of half-rotten memes, armed with nothing but willpower and half-baked creepypasta.
>>25610881We should totally type up the rules of this:'ON 4CHAN' RPGABILITIES:Typing (in WPM)Wit Trolling'Mad'ness (From 'U' to 'not even')Age (either 12 or 32)Skills:GreentextingLinking other postsCross Linking between boardsSpoiler UsageGoogle/Reverse image searchINVENTORY:Gore picsReaction picsEpic thread picsloli/waifu pics"czech my dubs" picsNeckbeard
>>25610867>>25610856From that point onwards the campaign turned into a serise of implications he had to mack on it to keep it interested in helping us (the gryphon turned out to be female).It did however come in handy when the campaign really ramped up in intensity.
>be prince>rollin for charisma>nat 20>become incredibly humble>become epicurianist>abdicate to pursue a simple life>king and queen are to old to bear another heir>kingdom falls into dissaray
>>25610986> bear another heir> bearI know this was intentional but still.
>>25610972GM: You see a troll thread!>Its an atheist Troll thread!Pic is "This is what atheist actually believe"Roll a Trolling Check.>1You are trolled! You reply with a huge rant about how Atheism isn't a religion!>You just made some neckbeards day!>anon gained +2 Troll points!
>>25610986FUCK. WHY THE HELL DOES IT AUTO PUT IN 'dbuses and' ? im getting sick of this...
>>25610972>>25611027I want this made.get 'er done teegee
>>25611038>See dbuses and>Roll not to get mad>1>get mad
>>25611052oh god... I knew i would have to....but ..... fuck..... i know it's gonna be a glorious waste of time... ah well... I'll get typing
>>25610573>improved familiar>not choosing small air elemental>not getting a tiny cushion>not reducing yourself to tiny size>not riding around on the cushion over your small air elementalStep up sempai
>>25611023....That's the correct spelling
>>25611038are you on a unix os?
>Walk in the street>Get mugged by some hobo>Roll intimidation>Nat 20>Everyone in a 10km radius is scared>Even your mother>Get sent to Bel-Air
>>25611027atheists on 4chan have really shitty rolls apparently
>>25610972>>25611027GM (moot): Alright, you run into a "rate me /b/" thread.Player 1 (Anon): But we're browsing /trv/!moot: Yeah, make a Trolling check.Player 2 (Tripfag): I rolled a 24, so I pass.Anon: I roll a 45. Close, but I pass.moot: Jan, what about you?Player 3 (Janitor): I rolled a 98...moot: You fall for the extremely poorly-veiled trolling and, in a fit of rage, you delete the thread causing another thread to pop up openly taunting you. You take 1d4+2 Cancer.
>>25611101Just low intelligence modifiers
>>25607396>Playing Halo homebrew>Kill elite, so much blood is on me I count as blinded>Elite starts beeping>Roll Athletics to run away>Nat 100>Roll Perception to run in the right direction>Nat 1>Run into a wall so fast I get knocked out>Die in plasma explosion
>>25611052>>25610972Needs Edgyness, Newfaggotry, OldFaggotry, meme creation, Shoop skills, Drawfag skills, Hivemind.... ummm... so much more.....
>>25611087>no friends>everyone is afraid of you>feel hopeless>start to cry>open the door to your closet>get on the floor in the fetal position>do the dinosauryou become extinct[/spoiler[
>>25611127I would argue wis. A wise man would know just to keep their fucking mouth shut. A super intelligent man can still be a loudmouthed child (looking at you Niel De Grease Tycoon)
>>25611027GM: You encounter a 'wat do' thread on the first page.> I make an offhand comment about something totally unrelatedGM: Roll for derailment.> Nat 20GM: Thread delves into an in-depth discussion about theoretical physics. Science has advanced 30 years because of it.
>>25611116AHAHAHAHAH cancer!! yes cancer can be your hitpoints. When you reach maximum cancer, you become a summerfag!...or something
Rolled 2>>25611127rolling for troll check...
>>25611182YOU WERE TROLLED!!!+4 Mad points.take D6 Cancer
Ok so the "on 4chan" RPG has to actually invlove going on 4chan.Its like... 4chan is the Dungeon. You generate a character, and then venture forth, roleplaying your character, and rolling checks to see what you post on and how you post.
>>25611170Effectively, yes. I'm a little sad I didn't think to roll heehee with the d20 idea, but I was thinking Cancer could be something like a Sanity system, where you have a threshold based on your cumulative Trolling, Wit, and Mad stats. But it could double just as effectively as a Health Point system with a similar threshold.Also:moot: After returning to page 1 on /co/, you encounter a Roasted Bread thread!Janitor: I want to try and delete it!Anon: No, let me try to outwit him, first.moot: Alright, roll a Wit check against his Trolling.Anon: Oh, shit. Nat 20.moot: You successfully convince Roasted to give up his endless tyrade and are hailed as a hero on /co/. Screencaps of your thread are reposted for weeks.
>>25611163And that, children, is why we have DnD 3.5 to thank for the LHC
>>25611127>>25611182YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ATHEISTS ARE THE SMARTEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET OUR INTELLIGENCE SCORES ARE PROBABLY FAR HIGHER THAN STUPID RELIGIOUS ONES FUCK YOU THE SMARTEST PEOPLE OF ALL TIME WERE ATHEIST STUPID FUCKING CHRISTFAG
>>25611266hmm, maybe like the following formula?maximum cancer before raeg = (trolling X wit) - madthe better a troll you are, the more used to cancer you are, the more witty you are, the better you can defeat cancer, and the madder you are, the easier you submit to RAEG
Rolled 2>>25611317forgot to roll for cancer
>>25611266Nah. Cancer should be like the state of the board you're currently on. Too much cancer and the board becomes unlivable. It's up to YOU to defeat the trolls and save your board!
>>25611320also, i think one of us should post a thread tomorrow about this pseudo-omebrew
>>25606138Nat 20 baby.
>>25611317>tfw I am an atheist>tfw this is what leddit atheists are like>tfw they are the 'poster boys' for atheism
Once I was playing 3.5 and our party Bard decided to write a song about our latest adventure. He rolled a nat 20 on the Perform check, so the GM decided that the song he wrote would become a big hit throughout the kingdom.Somewhat ironically, it was such a big hit that it actually became something akin to a folk song, and thus the Bard couldn't really take the credit for writing it, so ingrained it became in the public consciousness.
>>25611320I like it. But what would Mad be for, otherwise?Maybe your tenacity? The ability to re-roll against failed Trolling or Wit rolls? Maybe an all-round modifier for rolls, like Luck? Or should it be scrapped and replaced with something more viable?>>25611339I was thinking of a way to incorporate that. I suppose "Mad" could replace the previous notion of "Cancer" and Cancer could be some tangible goal for the players to strive towards to cleanse boards.
>>25611385It's the same with anything anonWhen you think of conservative you don't think of someone trying to instill moral values, you think of some crazy bible thumper trying to get doctors put to death for abortion and taxing you to deathWhen you think of gays, you don't think of two normal guys sharing a beer and watching football while holding hands, you think of someone in a leotard with their dick hanging out marching down the streetEveryone thinks the worst of everyone else, EXCEPT when that group somehow includes them.
>>25611385I hate that mentality. If there is one thing in the universe that should not have a poster boy, leader or anything of the such, it's the absence of a belief in something..
>>25611385I know that feel bro
>>25611424But they do believe in something.They believe in not believing.
>>25611476So you can't be free of belief at all? Even if you've never heard of X, you are practising a belief of not believing in X?
>>25611476Nah. We're just repelled by the idea that you better apologize for being born, or else Jesus will torture you in Hell forever for not liking his best selling book.
>>25611400I like that idea for mad, you succumb to cancer more easily >FUCK THIS SHIT!but you also get a chance to reroll, maybe on a coin flip?>NO, FUCK YOU!
>>25611163>You created a "That Guy/DM" thread on /tg/. Roll 1d20 to determine the initial post's image>Roll 1>Your OP pic is more interesting than the proposed subject and, this being /tg/, your thread was utterly derailed. Roll 3d20 and 1d100>Rolled 17, 8, 12>Rolled 88>Your thread was irrevocably, undeniably derailed after 37 posts>Thread is now 287 posts long, and people are trying to determine how many H2O2 and hydrazine elementals are necessary to create an adamantite rocket capable of reaching relativistic speeds in D&D 3.5. You lose 25 Internets, gets +3 Mad and a temporary -2 Wis
>>25611422>someone trying to instill moral values...I still hate that sort of people, with all my heart.
> mfw this game gets made> mfw it gets super popular and spreads to the other boards> mfw you'll never be able to tell if people are genuinely posting or playing "On 4chan"
>>25611550>people are trying to determine how many H2O2 and hydrazine elementals are necessary to create an adamantite rocket capable of reaching relativistic speeds in D&D 3.5This may just trump the peasant rail gun in awesome 3.5 science.
>>25611550Oh crap, wrong image. Also, forgot:>Player's face when
>>25611560I never said that was good, I just meant that what people view others as is almost always different from what they view themselves as.
>>25609710Different threads have different caps. Check with OP for this thread's max count.
>>25611571>mfw dice rolling is put on /b/>mfw every post has 25d100 rolled>mfw /b/ has a new get system
>>25611603You've already gone and rolled low. You're ensnared now.
>>25611550I JUST LENT THAT BOOK TO A GUY IN MY PATHFINDER GROUP ON FRIDAYLIKE WHAT THE FUCK
>>25611625I'm an anarchist and I occasionally get flashes of conspiratards in my mind when thinking of "my people". Might be internal doubts, or I just had a bad day. Could also be due to the rise of American style libertarianism.
>>25611550>Using Internets as currency/experienceBrilliant.>>25611549Something like that, but you can make a Mad check to... I dunno', maybe it could be like a Will save. I'm having a hard time thinking of a use for it, but maybe that's because the stats are too limited. "Wit" and "Trolling" seem like two sides of the same coin, whereas "Mad" doesn't have a partner stat, like "Patience" or "Tenacity".
>>25611664hmm, lets pair some stats up to fix this>Wit: your ability to think rationally and decisively>trolling: your ability to think irrationally confrontationally>mad: your temper and patience for faggots and cancer>white knight: your pity for faggots and cancer?
>>25611664>>25611723Just counter stats with themselves.
>>25611550DM: Alright, you've stepped through the cross board portal into /a/> I ask for sauceDM: Roll 3d100> 18, 3, 84DM: Sauce is Boku no Piko, Boku no Piko, and... Boku no Piko. Save vs. sage.
>>25611385And Christians feel the same way about their shitty poster boys.The ones you really gotta feel sorry for are the Muslims.
>>25611750You mean, like, simplify them down to single stats and have low scores mean one thing and high scores mean another? I was thinking of this, but I'm still stumped as to a third stat to accompany, let's say, Wit and Mad (Trolling can be an action performed through Wit). So far I'm coming up with Wit as the Intelligence and Wisdom analog, and Mad as the Fortitude and Strength analog, but nothing for Dex or Charisma. Those two seem too specific.Maybe it could be a two-stat system, unless each player plays a Janitor or Namefag or something, in which case something like Credibility could account for likelihood of being called a samefag, getting saged, getting trolled, etc.
>>25611571this is what i got so far...
>>25611790Fuck! sage has to be one of the skills....ahahah so much gold in this threadperhaps some good threads should remove cancer and MADnessI think "Laughter" can be used to cancel out MADness, but not Cancer... nothing can cancel out cancer....
>>25611814hmm... how about ToA? (time of arrival)the longer you have been on 4chan, the better you can react to situations, and the more charismatic you become (people venerate those from 06' like they are gods anyway)
>>25611846Can I just say, I love how /tg/ takes the simplest ideas and fucking runs with them. Respect from /m/
>>25611846bretty good so far
>>25611803Christian here.We are so sorry about whatever you see on TV.
>>25611814Maybe have each function like a separate class? Namefags get bonuses to trolling, but penalties to getting Mad. Janitors can outrite kill a thread, for good or evil. Only anonymous can deliver.
>>25611915thank you, good /m/usician.we like to get shit done, and shit comes from all places.
>>25611894It isn't edgy. Most people prefer to make up their own ru- oh I guess it is a little edgy.. still nothing wrong with refusing to take your morality from out of some book written thousands of years ago
>>25611929atheist here, we're sorry for what you see from leddit.
>>25611885I dunno, glancing at >>25611846 I feel the Knowledge skills would cover Oldfaggotry and such pretty well. I'm glad those came up, too, because despite being here since only about '09 or '10 I pride myself on my research into old shit.I like >>25611880's idea of a cancelling MADness/Rage, but "Laughter" might not be it. It brings to mind those "You laugh, you lose" threads and those are unpalatable.>>25611933I think we should get to classes after the core stats have been established, but I like what yer gettin' at.
>>25611957Native American shaman here, we're sorry for... wait, what?
>>25611978>late 11' fag here. I too enjoy the history of 4chan
>>25611723Nah, White Knight would be one of the classes. That one guy in every tumblr feminism/woman logic/camwhore/porn//soc/ thread that can't shut up about the degradation of women in our society, white male privilege, gender roles and so forth.Other features include:>Name/tripfags: Anti-bards. By seeking a form of identification while in an anonymous imageboard, you immediately take a huge reduction to charisma. The bonus might be reduced through time and actions, by taking attitudes that prove you have a decent reason to distinguish yourself from other anons. Examples of good reputation namefags are... the judge from the Ask a MtG Judge Anything threads on /tg/, or known storytimee Dan Dashly on /co/. Probably half a dozen more around, I don't pay them much attention.>Janitors: the equivalent of a low-level city guard. They don't have many chances to fuck someone up, but they can run up to their commanders (Mods) and have the Bannhounds released on your wake.>Summerfags, trolls, cancer: things to be defeated and destroyed.
>>25611941Ah, /m/ is Mecha, Music is /mu/.Hilariously though, people make that mistake all the time! Like, at least twice a day.
>>25611978lulz? Lulz are still cool right?
>>25612006>or known storytimer Dan Dashly on /co/"Storytimee" sounds like somenone's doing it for him, had to correct it.
>>25612050yeah he's a storytimER
>>25612036God no. Don't ever, ever say it again. Not ironically. Not asking if it's cool. Not even quoting anyone. Forget about it.
>>25612036nice we can use Lulz to remove MADness.>>25612006>>25611978>>25611933>>25611814>>25611664>>25611320So many good ideas!I FUCKING LOVE YOU /tg/+10 to my Brofist score
>starts as nat 1/20 thread>becomes thread about building 4chan the rpgNever change /tg/ never change.
>>25612025shit, now i feel like a faggot. what's the nickname for browsers of /m/ then?
>>25611894>>25611942>I guess it is a little edgy.. still nothing wrong with refusing to take your morality from out of some book written thousands of years agoOh please. I have no problems with that.I have problems with assholes going "Hey, listen!" every family visit. Fucking Protestant cunts.
>>25611846>10 greentext>10 spoilers>Tell the best and funniest stories of all time.>Have my stories retold again and again in thread threads and copypasta.
>>25612143I think it's /m/echs?
>>25612165min/maxers plz go
>>25612128thanks anon, I love you too>>25612131I hope /tg/ never changes, and I hope OP isn't too mad.wait...>I hope OP isn't too mad.idea! if you are the OP of the thread, all posts that are not on topic temporarily increase your MAD by 1d4 if you fail a roll at the beginning of the thread.
Rolled 48>>25612036Let's ask our panel of judges.Also, I'm trying to work with the idea of the Three-Stat System, so here's my ideas:MAD (Body) - Ability to continue responding to troll threads before -- or even while accruing Rage. Used to brute force through Trolling, attack Newfags, and report rule breaking.Wit (Mind) - Ability to troll and counter-troll, as well as calmly discuss topics or derail threads. Used for the purposes previously listed, as well as Saving versus Trolling (Will, as opposed to MAD's Fort).Cred (Soul) - Ability to deliver, as well as convince others to ignore trolls and diplomatically better threads. Also allows you to keep-up with growing trends and discern trolls from genuine idiots. Allows a passive approach to trolling through storytimes and image dumps while ignoring the perpetrators (Reflex versus Trolling).
>>25612143/m/omma's boys/m/aljusted young /m/en/m/oby dicks/m/azingers/m/anchildren
>>25612238I like it
>>25612143Oh no worries my good fa/tg/uy. A point of amusement comes from /mu/ trolls knowingly trying to start a /mu/ discussion on /m/. Last time that happened, this took place.
>>25612257wow, that's a lot. should someone type up a compendium of all nicknames for the goers of all boards? like this?we/a/boo/a/nimoo/b/tard/b/ro.../m/omma's boys/m/aljusted young /m/enfa/tg/uysca/tg/irlsdevou/tg/uardsmanelegan/tg/entlemen...and so on?maybe even have these be the 'factions' of boards in the 'on 4chan' RPG?
>>25612202>>25612165MY FUCKING SIDEEEEEESSSSoh sides should perhaps be part of it?Sides Scale:[on body] [left your chair] [left room] [left city] [left country] [in orbit]So: Classes:WhiteknightOPNewfagOldfagTrollVanilla Poster (unmemorable posts, no one ever replies)Reddit 12 year oldOP class:Roll for random post(D6):1)>X is kill >no 2)Rate my Cawk3)Whoever roll 69 is going to see some serious shit4)Atheism Troll Thread5)Post ending in X eats own Y6)Steam begging thread
>>25607253>roll haggle to get price of item down a bit>20>the shop keep apologizes profusely but he simply does not have enough money to give you to take the item off his hands and it would be a breach of trust to not give you anything to take it from him
>>25612370my favorite was:stardus/tg/atherers
>>25612050Other features:>Grammar NaziThoroughly despised by those who do not appreciate orthography,could be compared to a good-aligned necromancer: his intentions are good, but his means are seen as questionable (no one likes to be corrected, after all. Some can take it well, but I've never met anyone that sounded pleased after being corrected, specially if it happens with other people around). Usually considered an annoying cunt by those unable to properly spellcheck or write, and an annoying paragon of grammar by everyone else. Stats to be added later, since we're still working this out.>>25612165Is that you, Waffle House Millionaire?>>25612204Also, it would be nice to increase/reduce the penalty based on the board you're in. If you're on /tg/, a derail is almost expected, so you just flip a coin to determine if you get mad, and, if that happens, flip another to find out if you'll gain 1 or 2 MAD (heads/tails). If you're on /gif/ or any other board that's somewhat difficult to derail, roll 1d6 or higher.If the thread is deleted or you're banned, you receive a +[x] MAD modifier based on how much of a newfag are you. Newfaggotry is not an objective stat, determined, by, say, the amount of years you've been on 4chan, but rather one's capability on researching and knowing the site's own culture. Problem is, how the hell do we stat that?
>>25612286>>25612312Following that could result in certain skills.Shitpost (MAD) - Pushes thread towards bump/image limit without contributing. However, contributes to Cancer if used too often.(Counter-)Trolling (Wit) - Incites Rage in other posters who fail to Save versus Trolling; vacates threads if Rage gets high enough, but may contribute to Cancer if targets successfully Counter-Troll.Delivar (Cred) - Reduce Cancer and liven good threads. Can also be used to Storytime, increasing threat of Trolling but decreasing Cancer.Report (MAD) - Attempts to have rule-breaking posts/threads deleted, improving quality of threads. Fails if Mod roll is too low, and may cause Shitposting in retaliation.Derail (Wit) - Attacks well-meaning threads that may be rule-breaking or topically off-board. Can also be used to upset Newfags, or just OP.Sage (Cred) - Attempts to calmly defuse cancerous threads and convince people to abandon the thread, ignore the cancer, or, albeit difficulty, convince Trolls to abandon their crusade.Etc.
>>25612165Tell us some more stories, Waffle House Millionaire!
>>25612498>Problem is, how the hell do we stat that?just go with the objective stat, a well learned newfag is still a newfag, albeit one who is not a summer as others.
>>25612500>Report (MAD) - Attempts to have rule-breaking posts/threads deleted, improving quality of threads. Fails if Mod roll is too low, and may cause Shitposting in retaliation.That would only make sense if they rolled for whether or not they reported and left it at that or reported and left a smug "I REPORTED YOU" message
>>25612492Why not Carro/tg/ardeners?or Violen/tg/astrophiles?What about hazma/tg/ingers?I can keep going.
>>25612607Maybe it could use some elaboration.Think of it like a, I dunno', Spot check.You could roll Report and have modifiers based on whether it's super risque material (CP, compared to a Clown in the Woods) or run-of-the-mill rule-breaking (Spoiler'd porn, compared to a gerkin-wearing peasant hiding in some bushes). You could roll high and luckily attract a mod to do something (I shouldn't have said "Mod roll", that was my bad) or too low and nothing happens. If you fail the roll, you may accrue MAD and get penalties to subsequent rolls (roll low enough and you DO announce your report, effectively nullifying further attempts/pushing your towards report spamming and/or inciting Cancer.)But there's plenty of room for better-thought-out skills, those were some hastily-cobbled examples.
>>25611846Need some way of accruing experience and skill points. Also some sort of listening to the board and it's tastes and changing to either accommodate them or not.
>>25612875would it be a good idea to do experiance through internets? Like you have to buy your levels and if you lose internets without any you go down a level?
>>25612912Wouldn't Internets work better as currency? Maybe have something like lurk be the exp analogue.
>>25612912Yeah positive things would be:Brofist: You and another anon connect well -D6 MADnessSides=Orbit: Removes all MADnessInternets=only obtained when another anon SPECIFICALLY gives you internets.The anon will determine how many internets you get."All my internets" counts as level up. Add 1 ability point, and D6 skill pointsOtherwise after 10 intenets, you level up.Lolz: 10 lolz make your SIDES advance one tick towards orbit (there are 10 ticks on the SIDES scale, where 10 is SIDES=ORBIT)
>>25612912I don't know, it could work, but there should be some level or stat that goes up as time progresses that you cannot really get rid of some sort of tracker of time and site age. Also some sort of disillusionment meter or other system that makes it harder for even the oldest and best characters to preform at their best.Maybe even a fetish or a normality meter or free thinkingness meter to counter the other one.
>>25612912Yeah, I'd say things like Contribution/Delivaring, vacating Troll threads, generating Original Content, etc. could all earn a player some Internets, which could be spent V:tMB-style on skills that become more expensive as you spend points on them. Of course, if the system/player wanted to be more passive or have a more diplomatic time, Lurk, as per >>25612980, could suffice, but it lacks the active growth that Experience in games seems to indicate. While it translates better for the system from the source material, perhaps Lurking could net other advantages, like bonuses to rolls due to identification of common elements within a board (or website, if the setting branched out.)
>>25612875maybe chart of what the board is doing and its tastes at the timeneeds some GM wizardry to come up with something though it shouldnt be hard
>>25610629>Roll Survival>Nat 20>Find a freshly roasted chicken with sides like that dude from All Quiet on the Western Front.I like my way much better.
>>25613121oh yeah that's what this thread was originally about>Roll balance to avoid falling on something unstable>20>The entire universe adjusts so you are perfectly balancedYou guys talking about the 4chan rpg may want to make another thread
>>25613491>roll to seduce the dragoness>nat 1>Dragoness is so appaled she spares you out of spite and then becomes a feminazi against a "mans world"
>>25613522is that roughly how this rad fem shit got started?
>Roll to make Nat20/Nat1 Thread>1>Thread derailed into 4chanRPG
>>25613804im surprised that this is my only relevant picture
>>25613877Here is a classic that was in use 7 years ago and will be for many more to come.
Behold, the Thread roller.Took me a while to work out what kinda dice you'd need to throw to get 62 different results...a bit of handwavium in there too.....
>>25609575Omae wa mo shindeiru.
>>25614002thanksheres something i made earlier today
>>25614327Thanks, I think.
>>25614069>12d6>Number most likely rolled is 42, leads to /y/>Why /y/, why not /b/ or /tg/ or...>Wait a second>We call each other faggots a lot>Therefore the gay sex board should be most likely>motherofgod.jpgYou magnificent bastard you. Well done.
>>25614466hahahah i didn't even realize.... and i've never been on /y/ until 1 second ago....holy shit.... the trolling will be.... EXCEPTIONAL!
>>25614401its ok, ill probably never use it either
Rolled 1, 5, 4, 2, 4, 5, 6, 4, 1, 1, 1, 2 = 36>>25614588this time... whoops fucking capital D
>>25614614hmmm... /ic/ - Artwork/Critique
>>25611846Being a tripfag or avatar fag would give you extra cancer but +4 to trolling maybe. Like a prestige class.Every boar is like a dungeon and you get folders and items from them
>>25614842Its gonna be so awesome.I saved all the ideas from this thread.unfortunately... we have hit the bump limit...I'll make a proper thread once I've typed more up
>>25614881be sure to link it here, im interested in the system
>>256149344chan RPG continued discussion here;>>25615127