What will you be in this land of daemons and men, brave player?Perhaps a mighty Slayer, seeking noble death to atone for his sins?Perhaps a zealous Witch Hunter, cleansing the land of the daemon, the witch and the heretic?A simple farmer? Or an elven highlord?
>>25267569First for grot
So no being chaos or an Ork planning to lead the best wagh ever?
>>25267599Vote countedNot working off first come, however
>>25267643You can be whatever you like friend, all ill need is a few seconds to give it some stats when you all decide
>>25267643Worth mentioning, you decide where you start outThe more powerful you begin, the more powerful the person or event about to fuck your shit up will be
>>25267599Second for Grot.
>>25267723Eh lets just start out as a black ork then grot seems a bit limiting. In time we can get big and strong enough to lead one.
Ok guys, I need a final decision so i can commence stattis y'all upWould you like to be a grot or a black ork?First 3 posts after this decide (majority)Bear in mind, I can probably make a more entertaining quest for a black orkBut you never know, also, please be ready to roleplay as an ork, i do like my players to type what they say etc
Depends if we are a dark goblin or a normal one.
>>25267946Shit, posted before finishing.My choice is Black orc unless we go night Goblin.
>>25267946Well, you're what you want to be
>>25267901Black ork. Grot will end horribly and goblin with us as a suicide bomber.
>>25267981>>25268031Thats one vote for Black Orc and one backup vote for Black OrcWe have winnerStatting up now, you will begin in the place marked on the map with the red dot
also gimme your name fellas
>>25268109Naffzod Beardsplitter.What I'm trying to say here is: fuck dwarves.
>>25268109Kurzak Bigtoof, Black Orc. We mount the teef of our enemies on our glorius shield
>>25268186YOU IZ NAFFZOD BEARDSPLITTER, DA BIGGEST, BLACKEST, MEANEST ORC IN ALL DA MOUNTAINZYou scream at the assembled gaggle of snotlings and barely orcs before you.You are truly a massive specimen, thick black hide like the gnarled bark of a tree, and tusks to tear a dwarf in two with.But these things? Pathetic, all of 'emWhat can you expect? Da big boss got krump'd by that crazy orange fur dwarf not long ago, and most done a runner since...They all stare at you, idiot jaws aslack
>>25268091Zogda Zod. Or as the grots and goblins call us the Stompiest(we like stomping shorties).
>>25268268So weze got uh gaggle of snotsand few orcs. Crap that ain't no proppa wagh. So first thing say if any one wants to be the boss the gotta duel and krump the current boss. If there are no takers order the orcs to look around we gotta figure out wherez we atz and move before more shorties findz us why we iz still able to be easily krumped.
>>25268268You should of waited for more names/votes before settling as a heads up.
>>25268268"So 'den "boss", what'cha gonna do 'bout dat crazy orange stuntie?"Says one of the less pitiful goblins in the crowd, and is met by much nodding and agreement>Hmm?
>>25268389needed to get going, and the name was cool, apologies manI'll wait for consensus on actions however, worry not
>>25268391"DIS"Stomp that git, then ask go looking for the shortie.
>combat actions roll 1d20 by the way thankyou
>>25268391>Lead Army to the roof of the world>goal: arm wrestle archaon - dead or alive
Rolled 12>>25268466>Rolling to stomp a grotIf we fail this one we might as well start looking for another warband to join.
>>25268391You'z the boss now. Who cares about stumpy? You can take i'm.
>>25268545You turn an' look at dat dumb grot"Wot am I gunna do?" you ask himThe grot folds his arms and nods"I'll tell ye wot im gunna do"He leans in close, sarcastically cupping one of his ears"DIS!"You say asu raise yer foot above 'im, and see da beautiful moment when 'e realises just ow zogged e izYou bring it down like da foot ov gork 'imself, and de grot iz but so much soup"Anyone els got any kewshtuns?">No one pipes up
>>25268618"Good, now take me to dat shortie so I can krump him real good and make a cape with his beard!"
>>25268618Now if we could only figure out how stomp humies, other orcs, and not just shorties...
>>25268656>"Good, now take me to dat shortie so I can krump him real good and make a cape with his beard!"One of the orcs pipes up this time"But boss, we 'ent seen 'im since he krumped bigger boss... im an dat yellow fur 'umie went furver up da mountains."
>>25268715>>25268715Slap that bitch."THEN WE IZ GOING AFTER 'EM, GORK AND MORK WILL GUIDE DA WAY, NOW FOLLOW"Start marching in a random direction.
>>25268918>"THEN WE IZ GOING AFTER 'EM, GORK AND MORK WILL GUIDE DA WAY, NOW FOLLOW"You zog 'im round da noggin to get ya point acrossAnd den begin marchin up da mountainzbehind you, you hear a muttering of "I loike new boss's style..."________________________________After days straight marching, where an awful lot of the grots and smaller orcs simply collapsed and died as you moved up the mountain, and the snow started becoming thicker, you finally hear a bestial howl coming from a cave nearby, with smoke billowing out of itOne of the goblins still with you leans in and says"Da runtherdz sed orange stuntie went furver up dan dis boss"
Da route ya took up da mountainMoight'a got a bit lost, but gork'n'mork guide
>>25268986>>25269040Meditate about this information. The gods have never failed you so far, so you must be in the right direction.Go with your boyz to investigate the cave, whatever beast made that noise must be real nutritive.
>Warhammer Fantasy quest>without using WFRP rulesWhat is this I don't even. Where are the D100s?
>>25269097(would if i had it, using d20 for now)
>>25269097So far I don't mind the the d20, but at least I hope that if magic starts appearing we get some good'ol warhammer disasters.
>>25269061Meditatin? Wotz dat?Enyway, you step over to the mouth of the cave, and smell the scent of burnt flesh and brimstone from withinA smile tugs across your orky tusks, and you turn to your few remaining boys an' grotz"Looks loike meat's back on da menu boyz..."Roll 1d20 please
Rolled 15>>25269209What's the worst that can happen?
>>25269234You trounce in to da cave, and walk furver in to the darkness until you reach the charred corpse of a 'umie in what was probably once ded shiny armorLyin' next to 'im is a massive golden hammer... wiv skulls on da ends and lotsa shinies... could do wiv more spikes thoAs you kneel down to inspect the corpse, you hear one of the grotz squeal, and turn around ready to smack 'imBut out of the darkness comes a weird... horse chicken thingy... and it slashes its claws across your face, ripping your facemask off and snapping a tusk!
>>25269325It's on now.Create a distraction, send your boyz charging the demigryph, while we regain composure(by the way what weapons do we have?)
Pick up da 'ammer an smash dat chickens head in
Rolled 20>>25269459>>25269462Rolling for these in sequence (if the distraction works rolling for taking the hammer shouldn't be necessary, if it fails we can roll for it)
Krump im good in the head wiv da 'ammerDice+1d20
>>25269459>>25269462>>25269587"'Aw zog! Get 'im boiz!" you shout to the ladzAnd they run at the beast, one manages to get a knife in its leg, and is rewarded by being disembowelled by da battle chickenYou pick up da 'ammer from the floor and swing it 'round, an connect wiv its beak, shatterin' it to piecesYou snap it's ead sideways and it falls, thrashin' to da floor as the rest of da boyz move in and start cuttin' it upLooks loike good eatin'
>>25269645"WAAAAAAGH"Now back to business, check that dead humie to see if it's the one we're looking for.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH"You howl in to the cave, over the body of the fallen battle chickenTo be met by a much louder, deeper howl from further on down the caveYou feel a warm breeze come down through the cave along with the howl, and hear the shifting and collapsing of rock, and the sound recedesYou kneel down to check da 'umie, but its not 'im. Da umie wasnt wearin armor, an he 'ad a glowy sword, not a big hammer, an' e never 'ad a battle chicken neiverYou see a bit of yellow hair gripped tight in his hand though... that looks loike 'im
Also, make sure we get the best part of the battle chicken.Grab one of the smaller Orks and tell im "Oi! Dats moine! I getz ta eat da best part", cuff him across the head for good measure
>>25269801Well, we know where we're going now.Before we go depper though, how many orcs and goblins do we have under our command? And what's our equipment?>>25269814Asserting dominance is always good.
>>25269814You notice da uvva gits started on da chickenand stomp over to where they're eating, and smack da boy eating its heart across da head"Dats moine, zog fer brainz, I getz ta eat da best part."He falls back and nods, raising his hands up and whimpering at you"Roight boss, roight you iz"You eat heartily from the battle chicken before the rest move in>Wot now boss
>>25269855Yev got 4 orcs, and 6 gobbos left nowAn yer>Slightly damaged orcish armor>Sigmarite Warhammer of Smiting>Ded big shield>Da old warboss's 'ead
Have the gabbos go scout to see what the sound was. They are expendable of course.Make sure give give one of them a big kick to get em motivated.Also, what do we know about our 4 boyz?
>>25269890>ten soldiersWell shit, we might be in deep shit.Alright, we can't possibly start a warband where we are, so our only chance of success is getting in that cave and hoping to find something good or a worthy fight.
>>25269942Tell them they are our most trusted warriors (and the only ones...) for morale.
>>25269942>>25269967"U iz my most trusted warri...warr...foightas, roight?"you say to the goblins huddled around you"So i needz ya to go down in dat cave and tell uz wat we'z goin ta see"They all nod emphatically at you, and hurry down the cave with due haste_________________________________After about 15 minutes wait, where you continue picking at battle chicken cutlets, two of the three goblins you sent return, one patting down a constantly re-lighting fire on his hairthey run screaming towards you"BOSS ITS DED BIG AN' ITZ DED SCALY AN' ITZ DED KILLY, IT GOT BLUB" says the not on fire one, you know his name to be Glob, and his friend is Grub
>>25269948Your forgetting that over half of them are fucking snottlings. We need to hold up some where and let da spores build up a bit in order to get some fresh meat.>>25270071In dat case lets krump im. Order our boyz to follow behind us and have the snottlings lead us to it for a good krumpan.
Eh I dont think we want any part of that.I think its time for a little orcish cunning. Lets try and bluff our way - say that the yellow hair in the corpse's hand means its the human we were looking for.Then yell at the gobbos for taking so long, knock one of em in the head for punishment, and we should head further into the mountains - try and find more orcs/dwarf
>>25270169Mork smiles on this one clver git.Take your helm as a sign of respect, then leave for a land with more people to krump.>>25270118As long as we are in this mountain any new gobbo will die due to the cold, that's how weak they are.
>>25270214But da bastard has got a supa killy weapon. I want it after we kill him we can leave and find somewhere warmer.
>>25270214other than the dwarf we need to find us a shaman!
<DM BATHROOM INTERMISSION, YA GITZ>
>>25270249My orky instinct tells me this is one of them fire lizards. We should come back when we have more boyz, the gods will show us the way back when it's time.
>>25270295That just makes im a better foight.
>>25270316I'm da boss and I say we iz going out.
Orks may be the toughest and the greenest... but Orks also know that discretion is the better part of valor.I say we get right sneaky, bluff our way out and leg it. We dont have enuf boyz to get in a propa fight yet
>>25270214>>25270295>>25270169Ya notice dis is probly one of dem fire lizzerds uve 'erd aboutProbably best to come back when you get more boysSpeakin' of more boys... you'ze now down ta 5 gobbos and 4 orcsMaybe its best to go lookin' fer more boys first?You pick up yer helm, and go in search of more krumpable people>Use the map, highlight where you go, highest roll on 1d100 wins
Red Eye Tribe is near by. We should go over there, Krump some git and take over his band.
>>25270449To the next closest tumble
>>25270526No objections to this, the wastes are a good place to find foights anyway
>>25270526>>25270594"Roight den"You say to your lads"Since you iz all so little an stunty, we iz gonna need to go get more ladz, coz more ladz means bigga fightz, and bigga fightz means bigga ladz, ya see?"They all nod, transfixed by your mystical wisdom___________________________________You begin tromping back down the mountain, your remaining lads in towOn the trip, one of the littler gobbos falls in the snow, and the rest use 'im as a snackAnd you notice one of the others, Glob, cradling a little fire in his hands somehow... getting warm off it'cept theres nothin' in his hand... just fire, floatin' dere
>>25270526Well make the gabbos carry all the meat from the battle chicken. Tear its skin off and make cloaks out of the fur - its roight cold in da mountinz. Plus we look right scary wiv battle chicken cloaks
>>25270703Da ladz took the liberty of doin' thisThe gobbos got a knack fer skinnin' and dey look right snazzy in dere new battle chicken cloaksDa bigger orcs dont need dat sorta nonsense, so dey just took a bit of meat wiv em
>>25270699We got a shaman, nice.Ascend him to your second in command, five him the head of the demigryph made-a-hood as a sign of status.
>>25270699>hers, Glob, cradling a little fire in his hands somehow... getting warm off it>'cept theres nothin' in his hand...promote that bugger, tell him 'es in charge o that gabbos, and they gotta make the fire every night. cept we dont have any wood so he better keep that up or well krump him and eat him
>>25270699Oi, see if youz kin frow dat fire at somefink
>>25270755>>25270763Noticing this, you pull him up"OI! Glob!"He cower as you grab him and shrinks back"You'z got magick?! Noice! You're in charge of da gobbos now Glob, best not let me down, roight?"He nods at you timidlyYou hand him the head of the battle chicken as a prize"Dis should make a good shamany 'eaddress Glob, 'ere ya go."His eyes glisten, and he takes the head nodding and trembling with a mix of fear and happiness"FANKS BOSS!"He goes over and promptly begins bossing the rest of the gobbos around to begin skinning the head for his new badge of office___________________________________You arrive in da blasted wastes, an from da ridge you're at you'z can see da Red Eye Tribes smoke rising from the distance>Wot now boss
>>25267569Oi! We'z not on a WAAAAAAGH! We's mukkin about!
>>25270857POIPE DOWNYE'LL GET YER WAAAAGH WHEN ITS GOOD AN' PROPPA
>>25270854Ask our shaman what he finks. Dats 'is job now
>>25270854We'z go down to da Red Eye's. If da boss dere really iz bigga an meanna dan uz, we'z juz gotz da do da proppa ting, and join up wid hiz WAAAAAAGH. If we'z can krump 'im, krump 'im
>>25270857>hould make a good shamany 'eaddress Glob, 'ere ya go.">His eyes glisteWe gotta change that roight quick. Time ta stomp down there and use our 'ammer to bash in some gits brains and take his stuff. Since were such a small group though, maybe we should wait until night time ta do that... ya know when all the boyz is asleep.
Anyone try the ipad game? its pretty fun
>>25270941Cunningly brutal, I loike it!
>>25270886"OI GLOB!" you roar towards the back of the trainGlob comes foward, bowed in obesiance, wearing his ded fancy new battle chicken headdress"y-y-Yes boss?""Wot dya fink about all dis?""Err, we probly dont av enuff boyz round to charge em boss. I bet deyz drink from dat water wiv da logs in it doe...""Yer, and?""Well..."He reaches in to a pouch at his waist"I gots deze boss... I was growin' em for a while wen I waz old boss's brew boy."He holds out a few hideously ugly, faintly glowing mushrooms that seem to ooze thick black liquid from their underside"You can bet dey'll all be too sick ta foight back when we roll in after deze babies."
>>25270941>>25271021'Ey dere! We'z need da gobbo fer anee magiky tings dat we'z find. Iz nod like he'z gonna troi and take obba or anyting. He'z juzt a scaredy grot!
>>25271077Real sneaky, let's do this.
>>25271077Dats ded cunnin' dat is. Do it
>>25271077Den roll em in dere ya stupid grot!Give him a smack upside the head as we say this
We sneak in, kill da boss while dey all pukin' they faces off
>>25271164Exactly then after we getz their attention and see if any wanna try krump us to be the boss. S that wayz we krump them instead. Gotta take care of any potential challenger you see.
Roight sneaky. Mork approves
TEEGEE, I'Z PROUDZ A YA. NEBER FUGGET DAT
>>25271123>>25271130>>25271134>>25271164>"Den roll em in dere ya stupid grot!"You smack him upside the head as you say this"Yes boss!" he nods his head so hard you think it might fly offAnd then he points towards the waterfall at the other end of the camp"But boss, we needz someone ded strong ta block it off, so's da nasty dont all wash away see?"
>>25271256OI, STOP MUCKING ABOUT AND GET TO PLOTTIN', YA GIT.
Oi, roll 1d20+6 for me ya filthy gitz
>>25271268Flex our arms and say "IZ KNEW DAT YA GIT! IZ GONNA TAKE CARE UB IT"See /tg/? We can keep this guy and steal his ideas all day long. Stupid grots
Roight, dats easy!
Rolled 19 + 6>>25271299AWRIGHT
Rolled 19>>25271299ROLLAN BOZZ!
>>25271306We be a black ork were smarter then that. As in we steals his ideas and make them even BETTER. That is when were not coming up with the bestest ideas of all.
>>25271349>cheatingYOUZ A FAGGOT
>>25271349You take anuvver look towards da kamp, and like a punch from mork 'imself, da brutal kunnin' hits ya roight between da eyes>Pic related, 10000 hours in paint
>>25271349Well then, that's that.
>>25271376Eh? what did I do?
>>25271380Well, git on wit it!
>>25271391the plus six. You were trying to ensure we got a high roll no matter what, or at least not a shit roll. Unless you selected a familiar text from a list like I do when rolling. It's alright though
>>25271423Oh, OP asked for the +6 there.For a moment I thought my extension made a noko effect and hid my roll.>>25271380MOVE DOSE ROCKS
Also, while we are at it, lets send the other 3 gabbos ta sneak in to find out who da big boss is an where he sleeps. that way we know where ta go when we ant to crump em. Also, orcs dont care bout gobbos anyways.
>>25271474>>25271415Sneekier dan da sneekiest sneek, you sneek over ta the back a' the mountain an' start climbin' up towards dem suspiciously convenient rocksClearly, dis was da blessins of GorkYou reach the summit, and man, dem roks is lookin ded bigger about nowDa little ones nearly as big as you!>Wat now boss?
>>25271507Das Glob's jobYou make a mental note to propa krump 'im if you get back and e's not done dat tho
>>25271538We push em ova, den hide till da rukus stops
>>25271569Roll a 1d20 ya git!>Target 16>Each roll after first gets a mounting -2 penalty>If you fail, think of a new way to approach it, creative license and that
Rolled 15>>25271650Oi, I needs bigga numbas
>>25271672sheeeiiiittttt. maybe we send the gobbos in ta poision dere food
Rolled 19>>25271650MORK 'EAR ME
>>25271773ZOG ME DEM ROKS IS 'EAVYYou've managed to budge it a little, and it looks loike if dis one gets propa rollin, it'll take da rest wif it down da hillSome orcs below in da kamp 'ave started pointin at the trickle of dust an dirt down the hillside doeThe sun's beginnin' ta set
>>25271773Oi, is dissun too late?
>>25271856>It ent too late, but its wun off target, so i gave ya sumfin fur da trouble, da roks nearly dere nowLooks loike dere might be some boyz from da camp climbin up to check it out now tho, you see a couple torches ascending the cliff where the rocks would roll down
>>25271906Leggit before dey see us
>>25271906Krump one an den da udders will join uz! Or juz tellz em we'z gonna start a Waaaaagh!
>>25271906Misdirection! Yell out 'Dis is from (next closest clan that ain't us goes here) We gunna smarsh ya good!' Then high tail it out of there
>>25271949They might suspect. Before legginit, write "no one wuz 're" in the ground.
>>25271970Now daz brutally kunnin. Gork wud be proud
>>25271978haha thatll totally work. Do it
>>25271978That's hilarious. Lets do this. Leave the smallest git behind to witness it as he hides.
>>25271949>>25271970"Dis is from da Red Face Clan! Gobbos for life!"You shout in a flash of brilliance, before running for cover under a rocky outcrop further back, hearing an orc on the slope shout "Zog! Its da Red Faces!"And they begin climbing all the fasterAs one approaches the ridge where that rock is, he plants his hand in the scree under the rock, and accidentally digs out some of the dirt holding it in placeYou hear his screams as the rock rolls across his arm, slowly at first, then picking up speed, rollin down da hill, flattenin' 'im an 'is mates before knockin da rest of da rocks an' trees in to da river, dammin' it gud!>Zoggin gud job boss! Wot now?!
>>25272003>>25272009(well find a chance to do this fellas, i'z luvin it)
>>25272043Cheese it! We hide and then poison the water
>>25272043Let's get back with the rest and brag about our performance, then proceed with the plan.
>>25272043>Gobbos for life!
>>25272081>>25272126You remember da most brutally kunnin' teachins of allWen you gotta go, you gotta goYou cheese it down the mountain, back to the rest of your krew and hide with them in the bushes as you watch Glob toss the shrooms in to the water and poke back in to the treesAs you wait while the sun goes down you turn to your other boyz"Ay, dyu see dat? Barely even 'ad to flick dat rok I did."You flex at them, and they all marvel at you"Woooooah boss, u'z ded kunnin!"As darkness falls, you begin to hear the sounds of hurling and flatulenceThe sounds of a plan coming together
>>25272206>at them, and they all marvel at you>"Woooooah boss, u'z ded kunnin!">As darkness falls, yTime ta find da big boss n crump him good, make sure we kick and punch every puking/incapacitated ork on our way in to show how big n strong we are
>>25272206Make doubly sure they understand how awesome we are, then we needs a snack.
>>25272311>>25272313You continue flexing at them until the sounds of flatulence and vomiting become a vile symphony in the night"Yer, wivout my taktikul finkin an' massive arms dis wudda never worked, jus you all remember dat."Your band of young orcish disciples nod at your words"Now boyz, now its time ta go kommando."One of da lads beginz takin off his pants"NOT LOIKE DAT ZOG FER BRAINZ."You Zog 'im round da noggin"Follow me and don't make no noise."They nod emphatically
tactical orks?how about a WAAAAAAGH
>>25272431Roight, lets in dere and stomp em good. Glot, werez da big boss at you git!?!?!?!
If you wish to stealth roll 1d20If FUCK IT WAAAAAAAAAAGH then give me your WAAAAAAAAAGH FACE
>>25272484WE DO DAT WHEN WE GET ENUFF BOYZDese dumb gitz, dat's why you iz a foighta while I iz da boss.
>>25272495Glob comes back from the trees"OI GLOT"He shrinks before you again"WEREZ DA BIG BOSS AT?!"He whimpers to you "In... in dat tent on da old statue boss, da stachoo wiv da axe in its hands!"
>>25272513Fuck it WWWWWAAAAAGHHHHHHHH we gotta show em whose boss round ere.Also, they should be too sick to stand up
Rolled 12>>25272513WAAAAAGH. But no noise. Stealthy WAAAAAAAAAAAGH.
>>25272579OI! We'z waaaghing, but we'z doin brutally kunninglylylyly. Cuz we'z smert. Iz youz zum grot braind gobbo?
>>25272579>>25272586>>25272648Youz lead da way through da kamp, WAAAAAAAAAAGHING as you goBut mekkin' sure to be proppa quiet like, only zoggin a few of 'em round da noggin on your way roundIt looks loike extra guards got posted, but theyre all lying face down, rocking back and forth in front of pools of their own vomit or worseYou pass unhindered up the statue towards the tentYou smell the scent of burning smelly stuff inside, behind ded fancy lookin' curtainz
>>25272723Dun get any dirt on doze kurtainz. Deyse gonna be ourz zoon. Run in side and zog whoever's in dere. Iz godda be da bozz
>>25272723Tell glot to burn dat tent down propa, den we gonna bash 'o ever comes out roight good in the face
>>25272826OI. I TOLDZ YA DAT WE'Z GONNA KEEP DEM FANCY KURTAINZ, AN ANYTING ELZE INSIDE. IT'S ALREADY OURZ, DA GROT IN DERE JUZ DUN KNOW IT YET
>>25272805>>25272826"Oi glot, use yer sparky fire handz fing on dis 'ere tent. We'z gunna smoke 'im out. Not on da curtainz, like, dey'z nice."Glob nods and summons a little ball of fire and sets light to the back of the shackWhat you see next is not normalDa fire goez massive, and ded green, and sorta goes a shape were it lookz like a gobbos 'ead."Boss, I fink das magic..."Says your resident magic expert>Wat do>Combat action are 1d20>Roll 1d10 for me also please
Rolled 18 + 1Oh zog
>>25272997>cant roll 2 dice at once buddy, ill take the 18 for the combat action though
Rolled 4>>25272935(Was driving home)Lets find da boss
Rolled 5>>25273049Oh thank goodnes- I mean, DANK GORK AN MORK
>>25273056Da big fiery gobbos tongue comes outta its mouth an' lashes across ur face, you feel it scorch your eye propa gud'urts like a zogger, an' u cant see from dat one now>>25272997"WHY YOU PIECE A ZOG!"Your warcry pierces the crackling flames and the sound of hurling orcs as you charge through the curtains and deliver a mighty foot of gork to da gits faceJumpin fru da curtains you smack 'im in da chest wiv yer new 'ammer, and smash him fru da side of the hut, in to a pool a vomit below.But as you do, you notice, e's a gobbo... an' not just a gobboDa biggest zoggin' gobbo you ever seenE's nearly as big as you!e's gettin up again>Oh zog wot now boss!
Rolled 18>>25273211zogg his knobb
>>25273211>da second jump fru da curtains is coz he flew through anuver pair>soz, 'ad a brainfart coz is breakfast toime
Rolled 2>>25273211Oi! Don't let 'im get up! Smash him propa
>>25273271Jesus Christ, I roll nothing but 2's
Rolled 17>>25273211Gittin back up iz ya? Fink agin!>Smack 'im wif da hammer, awmost werk'd da firs toime
>>25273245>Zoggin 'ell boss, dese rolls!"I'z gonna Zog you, little gobbo!" you shout at him"Stupid orc! You can't defeat Gliblob the Unknowable!" he replies in his shrill little gobbo voice, charging up a nasty lukin bit a magic in his 'andsYou leap frum da statue, yer 'ammer high an' land, 'ammer first on the little zog, and asplode 'is noggin in a shower 'a brains and bits of boneThe spell in his hands releases, and the explosion knocks you back against, and slightly in to the marble of the statue Dat zoggin' 'urt
>>25273329Speakin uf hamma, once we dun 'ere we gotta make it more killy. Put some spikes on it, maybe we'z put dis big gobbos face on it. Ded 'ard killy
>>25273211>in fru da curtains you smack 'im in da chest wiv yer new 'ammer, and smash him fru da side of the hut, in to a pool a vomit below.>But as you do, you notice, e's a gobbo... an' not just a gobbo>Da biggest zoggin' gobbo you evKick im in da teef!Oi! MOI EYE!
Rolled 12>>25273376Pain don't 'urt. Not bein' da biggest zoggin' boss 'urts, and we don't 'urt no more do we boys?
>>25273376Find the biggest hunk of his noggin as a trophy
>>25273376Time to assemble our new crew o ladz - we'ze in charge now and they best no forget it! Tell Glob ta look around for anything usefull magic like in what left of da tet. Also the 4 boyz with us origionally are our new Nobz
>>25273417Your boyz, and a few of the less debilitated Red Eye tribe orcs edge over to where you're imbedded a foot or so in to the statue"Zoggin' ell boss, don't that 'urt?" asks Glob>"Pain don't 'urt. Not bein' da biggest zoggin' boss 'urts, and we don't 'urt no more do we boys?"The orcs and goblins around nod and shout"NO BOSS!"You hear them shouting WAAAAAAAGH in the name of Naffzod Beardsplitter, an boy duz it feel gudThey seem to largely be getting over it by now, and all are coming to howl loyalty to their new, kunnin, brutal masta!>Zog me boss, gud job.>TUNE IN NEXT TOIME ON ORC QUEST YA GITS, OR ILL KRUMP YA>If anyone is interested, finish HP was 18/70 this sessionDID YAZ ALL ENJOY ORC QUEST YA ZOGGIN GITS?
>>2527355318? Nice. 1 HP is enough to bash some gits. Was good fun OP. I will keep an eye out for the next one
>>25273553IT WAS ROIGHT ORKY, BOSSWAAAAAAAAGH
O, and by da way, any git who can guess 'oo da orange stuntie and da yellow 'umie is winz twenty teef
>>25273614Gotrek and Felix?
>>25273641Dey just moight be yer big badz boyo
>>25273553Good on ya We Shall, I had a roight Orky time. Lookin forward to next time's WAAAAAGH, maybe find some beards to split?
>>25273687Stunties best watch out now we've got some boyzWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
>>25273667WHERE'S DA TEEF YA GIT
>>25273728IN YER GOB, C'MERE ILL NOK EM OUT FOR YA
>>25273743DON'T MUK UP ME FACE
>>25273765CROIKEY GUVNA WE'VE GONE COCKNEYVote me up on archive ya gitz, so lots nobz see our fread and play wid usGoodnoight an' gork bless
Just how big an ork would we need to be to kill Gotrek? Dats rite scary
>>25273667Oh by all that is gork and mork please no. That duo is beyond unstoppable.
>>25273818Nothing can kill Gotrek thanks to his curse.