"In the world we live in, theology is as serious as it is confusing."For whatever reason, we are inundated with deities of all kinds. Every known civilization on this planet has a pantheon of some sort, led by that race's patron god(dess). Each patron god(dess) has a specific relationship the others in their pantheon. And for every major god or goddess, there are at least three or so demigods in attendance who embody some minor aspect of their patron's chosen element. And then there are the outcast gods (scholars argue whether they still count as inhabiting their pantheons), the unaffiliated gods (embodying ideals common to all sentient beings), the rogue gods and angels, the /rouge/ dogs and angles, and so on and so forth."The connection between a deity and his/her worshiping civilization is just as murky and confusing in its governing rules and relationships. Gods are obviously empowered to affect the fortunes of their worshipers, but so too can the worshiping civilization's actions affect the god's own standing. For instance, the patron deity of the dwarves has been known to beat the everloving shit out of the god worshipped by the humans; it's unclear whether this was the cause of the intermittently ongoing Dwarf-Human Wars, or whether the constant fights between the dwarves and the humans led to that heavenly enmity."Of course, this all leads to the question of whether or not a god can actually be killed, but, of course, no truly civilized race of sentient beings would ever be mad enough to try something like that."(Cont.)
>>24194060-----------------------------------------------Ogir Place (+Floating, +Limbs, +Sandstorm Drill, +Magma Shield, +Steering Wheel)-----------------------------------------------Population: 153/153 ogres (6 dead), 84/84 elves, ∞/∞ patchwings, 50/50 Solar Skellies- [Landmarks] Oasis, Daphnaia, Underground Cave/Quarry [50% mined]- [Food] Cacti(-ow), Fungi, Wheat, Potatoes, Ravager Meat, Milk; Fair Growth (+32/turn)- [Resources] Hellfire Energy [Captive Archdemon Lord], Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles- [Diplomacy] Scaratone [ALLIED; Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]; Felpowder Elves [UNITED]; Achievement Hunter Dwarves [???]- [Key Items] Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I), Crazy Ghost's Books- [Arms] Cactus Maces, Iron Scimitars, Heat-Seeking Rokkit Launchers, Short-Ranged Bow+Arrow, Crude Iron Armor, Demon Helm/Shoulderpads; Ur-Camouflage- [Vocations] OGRES: Geo (∞), Berserks (4), BMasters (1), Rockkits (0), Riders (0), Heallusionist (0)- [Beasts] Giant Bats (trained), Naked Mole Ravagers (trained)- [Settlement] Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Mushroom Farms, Pier, Anchor/Staircase, THE FLAMES OF HELL- [NPCs] Boss Bawss Fistboss [+30 Diplomacy], Geomancer Gubbins [+30 Geomancy, +WE ALL GEOMANCERS NOW, +Ruoumoko], Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin [+Beast Whisperer, Big Vulture], Celicia Silverstone [???], Vultan [???]- [Tech] Fire, Fish, Agriculture[+Protection], Cooking, Tea, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, FStone Airdrops, Airships, Ur-Cartography- [Magic] Geomancy X, Healing I, Illusion I, Necromancy I, Time I, Climate Control 0- [Economy] System=Barter; Currency=Shit- [Justice] Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best-----------------------------------------------ROLLS>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID>90-98: Stupidly Successful>60-90: Successful>40-60: Adequate>10-40: Not So Good>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT >1: LUCKY STUPID(Cont.)
>>24194076So, from where Boss Bawss Fistboss of the ogres is standing, it seems like there's a plan in place for this big old war. Or scrap, or battle, or whatever.According to the Scaratone Queen, their ancient enemies, the Formichroma, will break into the caverns on the edge of Scaratone territory to begin their assault. The Scaratone Queen seems VERY certain that the attack will start at the underground farming caverns and menagerie, given how many times they've already been broken into by ravening beasts. The ogres' allies, the group of explorer dwarves headed by Lockstock, seems inclined to agree with this assessment.Granted, there's apparently a THIRD location on the edge of Scaratone territory that isn't often frequented by anyone. Sure, it's a bit too far to be usable by the sort of army that the Formichroma will probably field, but Boss Bawss Fistboss decided to go and check it out, just to be sure. As for the actual plan of battle...Boss Bawss Fistboss had a chance to look over the battle plans and confer with the Scaratone Queen. From the looks of it, the Scaratones don't have too much in the way of ranged attackers (other than spellcasters), so the beetle-men plan to field the usual groups of scimitar-wielding warriors supported by a handful of geomancers. The dwarves, meanwhile, have fortified the approaches and added traps all along the likeliest tunnels; given their small numbers, they will be working as constantly-tunneling guerrillas, popping up and sowing confusion throughout the enemy ranks.The ogres will most likely join the front lines in some capacity, though the details will be left up to Boss Bawss Fistboss himself. The Scaratone Queen will also be in attendance, sitting behind her army and surrounded by a regiment of her royal guards.[ ] [3RD CAVERN] Sounds good to me. Let's get to looking over that out-of-the-way cave, just in case.[ ] [RE-STRATEGIZE] Wait, that doesn't sound right... (WRITE-IN)
Oh yes. Yes please.>>241940903rd Cavern. Must check it out.
[X] [3RD CAVERN] Sounds good to me. Let's get to looking over that out-of-the-way cave, just in case.Good to see you Blorp.
>>24194090[X] [3RD CAVERN] Sounds good to me. Let's get to looking over that out-of-the-way cave, just in case.
[x] [3RD CAVERN] Sounds good to me. Let's get to looking over that out-of-the-way cave, just in case.[x] [RE-STRATEGIZE] Wait, that doesn't sound right... (WRITE-IN)Let's take some boys and go check this big hole. But leave a few of dem Elves with the Scaratone.
>>24194090Did we inform our allies about the skellies, healing butts, etc?
>>24194342Oh, good point. Might want to make a show of introducing our latest... Assets.
>>24194342... whoops.That'll be factored into the next post, regardless of what's chosen! (Looks like GET TO THE CAVERN ALREADY seems to be the consensus, though.)
Awwwright Ogre Civ!>>241940903RD CAVERN
Well, Hmm. I think our best heallusionists and Gubbins should stay back with the Queen to protect her, being their main target most likely. Elves back there to use their range to fend off attackers is good. Ogres of course will support the front lines. Solar powered skellies, Patchwings, and Vultan will go with Baws Boss (because nothing will happen, right?)Obviously Squiggles and the Naked Mole Rat Riders will protect the Dwarves. Which likely means being sent off as a diversion while the Dwarves do something smart.Ogres make good diversions.Bats can watch Ogir Place.
>>24194383>Alright so just so's you all know, da Boyz got some new 'tings goin' on.>Like, you see dem Boyz with da BIG hats? Dey'ze magic. And what dey gonna do is like, make big flying butts! Don't laugh! Anyway, de butts are gonna be all 'oh boy a person who is hurt' and dey gonna fly over you and make you feel warm and cuddly.>And dose Boyz wit the big sticks? They throw big rocks. If you put people on fire, de Boyz can throw rocks dat hit 'em all da time.>Oh yeah, and don't hurt the skellies. Dey our bros too.
>>24194383I can't wait to see our allies expressions.
>>24194090>[X] Examine the third cavern!>... and tell our allies 'bout our newest additions so as to avoid unrelenting terror."... and please do try to be back within a few hours at the most, yes-yes," Queen Kilkkarak chitters, seeming to be tickled pink by Boss Bawss's volunteering to take a look at that out-of-the-way cavern. "Your diligence is much appreciated."The larger ogre nods, doing a quick headcount of the group he's bringing with him. Most of the ogres here are accompanying him, along with some of the elves (and Celicia); the patchwings and the skeletons have yet to come down from Ogir Place, though that'll change soon enough. Without much prompting, Lockstock and a few of his miners decided to accompany Boss Bawss Fistboss to accurately gauge how likely it is that the cavern will be used by the Formichroma.... but there's one last order of business."'ey, Queenie," Boss Bawss rumbles, scratching his head in consternation. "We got a few more friends who'll be helpin' in da big scrap. You think you'll be fine with that?"Queen Kilkkarak blinks at this, straightening up into a more attentive pose. "/More/ allies? How astounding! I can hardly refuse something as heartening as that, yes-yes.""Yah, they're good folks," Boss Bawss nods. "We got da Patchwings on our side, for one, but I think your envoys told you dat already.""How could I forget?" There's something almost dry in the Queen's tone as she responds. "Ruffians of the Scouring Wastes, they're called, and troublemakers after my own heart, yes-yes. Quite surprised to hear of your taming of them."Well, that's as good an acceptance as he'll get. "We also got glowing skeletons."(Cont.)
>>24195027Now THAT causes the Scaratone Queen to stiffen slightly. "... what." Even some of the attendants standing around the queen seem to be taken off-guard at this, chittering in slight distress among themselves."Found 'em in a ruin, and they followed us home. Pretty sure they'll fight for us, so it's all cool." Boss Bawss nods at Celicia. "She can vouch for 'em, even. An' elves don't like necromancy all dat much!""They're not bad," the blonde elf mutters reluctantly."But dat's not da important part," Boss Bawss forges on. "See, we got new healin' magics."Queen Kilkkarak rallies gamely. "Ooh, now that is certainly heartening," she chitters. "Now-""Er, 'heartening' ain't da right word," Boss Bawss hazards. "More like, you know. Butt-ening." He pauses. "'Cause all da healing spells we know are flying screamin' butts dat aren't as scary as they look."Queen Kilkkarak gives Boss Bawss a long, level stare, and the silence stretches on for upward of a minute as everyone in the room digests this new information. (Except for Lockstock, who's doing his best not to snort into his beard.) From the sidelines, Celicia can't help but get the feeling that the normally unreadable queen is trying VERY hard to keep up her unflappable exterior.Finally, the Scaratone Queen opens her mandibles. "... what.""Don't worry 'bout it, dey actually make you feel warm an' cuddly inside. You know, instead of da USUAL feelin' which is just gettin' squished by a butt." Boss Bawss pauses. "... it's a pretty different feeling.""... I gathered as much, yes." Queen Kilkkarak turns to glance at where Lockstock is shaking with silent mirth and pounding the earthen wall with a fist. "You know, Boss Bawss, you should probably go and explore that third cavern already, before your bearded mole-person friend expires from too much laughter."(Cont.)
>>24195044Sometime later, Boss Bawss and his small group arrive at the third cavern. It's... well, he's starting to see why the Scaratone Queen seemed confident that no one would be coming up from this end.For one thing, the tunnel leading down to the abandoned cavern is narrow enough that they had to tromp down in a single-file line; for another, the rough-hewn walls seem to be made out of some pretty damn hard rock. For another..."Aye, it's a dead end," Lockstock confirms, after a minute spent looking over the cavern with a miner's experienced eye. "No hard-to-detect drafts or movement of air, no underground lakes hidin' hidden underwater passages, no strange magic crystals waitin' to whisk some daft fools away into some other hidden chamber." The dwarf shrugs, the tools strapped to his back clinking softly with the motion. "If the enemy's desperate enough to get in, they'll be diggin' for a LONG time. Long enough that Her Royal Majesty up there will hear 'em comin', I reckon. Least we could do is lay a few token traps along the tunnel in an' out, just to be safe."Boss Bawss strokes his chin as he weighs his options. It'll take some time to get back, but there should be just enough time to do a little something extra...[ ] [EXAMINE] Spend some time examining the cave while Lockstock's trapping the tunnel.[ ] [MORE TRAPS] Tell Lockstock to do as much as he can before you all go back.[ ] [LEAVE] Let Lockstock and his dwarves hurriedly trap the tunnel, and then get back to prepare for the battle.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>24195058[X] [EXAMINE] Spend some time examining the cave while Lockstock's trapping the tunnel.PARANOIA!
>>24195058Examine. If we can't turn up anything interesting after the dwarves toss down a few traps, leave.THEY CAN'T JUST HAVE AN EMPTY CAVE.
[X] [EXAMINE] Spend some time examining the cave while Lockstock's trapping the tunnel.Dat funny feelin' in my gizzard...
>>24195058>[ ] [EXAMINE] Spend some time examining the cave while Lockstock's trapping the tunnel.>[ ] [MORE TRAPS] Tell Lockstock to do as much as he can before you all go back.Can we do both of those?
>>24195143Possibly! This will depend on the results of the [EXAMINE].
>>24195164Then I vote for EXAMINE!
>>24195058[X] [EXAMINE] Spend some time examining the cave while Lockstock's trapping the tunnel.After all, Ogres can do some crazy Geomancy, and the bugs have geomancers, so the Formica might have Geomancers being all sneaky with their geomancy to try and hide some tunnel they being geomancing up, right?Baws will smell that magic if it's there, though, so no problem.
>>24195044Would the Queen know what being squished by a butt feels like? I mean, all the bug men have those armored carapace things. Being squished by a soft fleshy butt would feel a lot more pleasant right?
>>24195058Right then, looks like it's all for EXAMINE!>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)Though the roll is less for SUCCESS/FAIL and more WHAT DO YOU FIND
Rolled 88>>24195276HAHA TIME FOR DICE
>>24195276For Miss Fortune
Rolled 1>>24195302forgot dice
>>24195294Stop rolling everyone.
>>24195326>>24195323>>24195294Okay, now stop rolling.
Rolled 72>>24195294>>24195326I'm so sorry Blorp.I'm so sor-pffhahahahaha no I'm not this is hilarious.
Rolled 17>>24195326>>24195294AND SO TRADITION CONTINUES
Rolled 62>>24195276WE FIND
>>24195294>>24195326Well, that was quick.
>>24195294>>24195326Looks like we found the way the enemy is coming in. All of them. Followed promptly with them all being either decimated or turned ally.Because Ogres.
Rolled 73Hahah we're in BUISINESS BABY!
>>24195294>>24195323>>24195326It is like the dice gods are playing with Blorp.
>>24195294>>24195326Oh god, my fucking lungs
I think we made Blorp commit sudoku.
>>24195762I think you mean seppuku
Lemme guess, we're gnna find a cave leading to the God of the Underground, who will proceed to decide "Eh? War? Fight on your side? Sure, why not. Been boring anyway."
>>24195805No, no, I meant sudoku. Our luck is truly a puzzling thing.
>>24195827We'll find the god of the Formichroma and challenge him to a Krumpin' duel.And then proceed to roll 99. In the five posts after Blorp asks for rolls.And then the thread will end with Blorp needing to go cry for a bit because all that prep for the war was wasted.
>>24195058>>24195276>>24195294>>24195326>[X] Examine further!>[X] More traps!>88 - STUPID LUCKY>1 - LUCKY STUPIDBoss Bawss glances around for a moment before looking back to Lockstock. "How 'bout more than a few traps?"The dwarf overseer-slash-prince strokes his beard thoughtfully. "How much more?""As many more as we got time for."Lockstock can't help but let out a guffaw at that. "Hah! I like yer way of thinking, lad. I'll see what we can do, but after all the trappin' we did for the other spots, I don't think we got enough bombs left in us-"Another dwarf clears his throat. "Actually, we may be a wee bit mistaken in that. Me and the boys, we've been double-checking the ledgers, see- turns out Geargrinder tallied up the munitions wrong. We got more bombs than we know what to do with right now."Lockstock quirks a bushy eyebrow. "Well, well, well. Too many edition wars, not enough counting, eh? I'll be havin' a long talk with him once this all blows over." With a shrug, he slaps Boss Bawss on the back. "Looks like ye'll be getting yer wish after all- more traps than you could shake a pickaxe at!"As the dwarves get to work, Boss Bawss takes another, slower look around the otherwise featureless cavern, narrowing his eyes. After a few moments, the larger ogre kneels down and starts running his hand across the bare floor, as if looking for something.Celicia turns away from watching the dwarves at work, tilting her head in curiosity. "What's wrong?""Not sure," Boss Bawss rumbles, his voice a little distant. "There's somthin' off 'bout this place. Can feel it in my gizzard."Without another word, Celicia tenses up slightly, surreptitiously slinging her rifle down into her arms and giving it a once-over. She's learned to trust the ogres' instincts on this sort of thing. "Good news or bad news?" she mutters back."Not sure," Boss Bawss repeats. "Dis place feels too old, it's not-"It's then that three things happen at once.(Cont.)
>>24195896First, Boss Bawss unconsciously draws upon the geomancy innate to all ogres, and his hand brushes away about two layers of stone to reveal some sort of etched tile depicting something with far too many eyes and legs.Second, the tile begins glowing, reacting to the unintentional use of magic.Third, Boss Bawss, along with the ogres and the elves closest to the larger ogre's kneeling form, disappear from the cavern.There's a moment as Boss Bawss adjusts to his sudden displacement, calmly looking around their new pitch-black surroundings and ignoring the startled gasps from his allies (and a twitchy "/Boss Bawss what did you do NOW/" from Celicia)."... whoops," he rumbles.As if triggered by that word, a pair of glowing eyes snap open above the startled group, bathing them in an unholy red glow. This is followed by a breathy, scratchy hiss. "Yesssssssssss..."... which is, in turn, immediately followed by about fifty more blood-red eyes snapping open, illuminating the area in that dim crimson light. There is the sound of many, many legs slowly scratching across the floor around them, moving in closer."Yesssssssssss...!"[ ] [AGGRESS] GODDAMN, KILL IT WITH FIRE[ ] [TALK] HOLY SHIT, WHAT ARE YOU[ ] [WAIT] GOOD GOD, WHY ARE WE HERE[ ] [FLEE] FUCKING HELL, RUN[ ] [WRITE-IN] STOP WITH THE CAPS LOCK ALREADY
>>24195911[X] [TALK] HELLO MY NAME IS BOSS BAWSS WHATS YOURS
Rolled 57>>24195911Write-inRoll to seduce
>>24195911Talk!If we can talk to the dead, we can get through to a giant arachnid.
>>24195911>[WAIT}GOOD GOD, WHY ARE WE HERE>[TALK] HOLY SHTI, YOUR EYES ARE AWESOME, I'M THE BOSS, WHO ARE YOU?
>>24195911>[X] [TALK] GREETINGS, MY NAME IS NOT SPACE GHOST.
>>24195911TOO MANY SPIDERS!! REALITY OVER-RIDE ALEPH NAMBRA TEN DASH THREE! THIS IS NOW A GIANT ROCK WALL!
>>24195911>[ ] [TALK] HOLY SHIT, WHAT ARE YOU>That image name...Let's try talking first.If that doesn't work, THEN krumpin' time.
>>24195911>[ ] [TALK] HOLY SHIT, WHAT ARE YOUSeconding >>24195934
>>24195762>>24195805>>24195835This is what was going through my head.
[X] [TALK] YESSSSSSSS... what?
>>24195911[X] [TALK] HOLY SHIT, WHAT ARE YOUWe can totally diplomance giant horrible spiders!
>>24195911[X] [TALK] HOLY SHIT, WHAT ARE YOUExcept not panicky. A calm hello, introducing ourself, asking who he is and a quick apology for bursting in like this unannounced.
>>24195911[ ] [AGGRESS] GODDAMN, KILL IT WITH FIRE[ ] [TALK] HOLY SHIT, WHAT ARE YOU[ ] [WAIT] GOOD GOD, WHY ARE WE HERE[ ] [FLEE] FUCKING HELL, RUN[X] [WRITE-IN] Oh, is that BAWSS BOSS, who has a +30 to DIPLOMACY, in a situation where FRIENDSHIP could get us another ALLY? Don't mind if we DO!
[X] TALK TO MY LIPS, BITCH!
Rolled 16>>24195911Of course we're talking!>iatedied clockWh... what?
>>24195911I think this god is an enemy of the Formichroma.
>>24196218I think this god is spiders with a direct portal to the home of our buddies , and should probably be a solid rock instead, where's Gubbins when you need him?
[X] [FLEE] FUCKING HELL, RUNTIME TO GO! WE MUST REPORT BACK!
>>24195911>[X] Talk!As the scratching sounds close in with alarming speed, Celicia, at least, reacts instantly, quietly snapping out orders with the calm air of someone who knows she's about to die. "Spider-type demon, class unknown, aim for the eyes. Don't get hit by those legs, they'll drag you in. Everyone, fire at-""Hi!" Boss Bawss says cheerfully, completely unperturbed by the Cthulhuan menace closing in on them. "You got nice eyes."The elves pause halfway from readying their rifles to stare at Boss Bawss. The scratching sound stops, and there's a sense that the eyes are also staring at the ogre. The world seems to be plunged into silence."Hi," the rasping voice of horror replies uncertainly, unsure as to why this strange being isn't adhering to the usual rules (i.e. incoherent screaming, desperate genuflecting, etc). There's another short pause. "... thanksssss?" it hazards."Never seen dis many big peepers that glowed like dat before. Dat's somethin' real unique you got there. Wot's your name?"Staring up at the monstrosity standing over them, its bulk obscured by shadow, Celicia can't help but get the feeling that the demonic arachnid has ducked its head to hide its blush.(Cont.)
>>24196377"Coreweaver, Unsssspeakable Horror of the Deepsssss," the demonic being hisses in a breathy rasp."Dat's a nice name. I'm Boss Bawss Fistboss," the larger ogre adds, tipping his hat in the direction of the shadows. "It's nice to meetcha, Corey- can I call you dat? We're all ogres here, 'cept for da guys who're elves. So, wot is dis place?""My home," Coreweaver hisses shyly. "My citadel. My refuge. Yessssssss... you are interesting. Eons have passsed. No one has ever talked to me like thisssss before. No one... has passed through this way either," the demonic entity adds- before the eyes jolt, as if the entity suddenly sits up straighter."Wait..." The eyes brighten up, and there is suddenly a spark of excitement in her voice. "Wait... thissss entrance! It cannot be! You found my losssst temple...? Yessssss...!"Boss Bawss scratches his head. Well, it SOUNDS like the demon thing is a little friendlier now. Maybe she'll be open to some questions.[ ] [PRESS] Temple? Whaddaya mean by dat?[ ] [LEAVE] Erm, how do we get outta here?[ ] [AGGRESS] Her guard's down! Kill 'er![ ] [WRITE-IN] [INFORMATION] What does Coreweaver know of...?[ ] [WRITE-IN] [ACTION]
>>24196390>[ ] [PRESS] Temple? Whaddaya mean by dat?>[ ] [WRITE-IN] [INFORMATION] What does Coreweaver know of...?Formichroma
>>24196390>[x] [PRESS] Temple? Whaddaya mean by dat?
[x] [PRESS] Temple? Whaddaya mean by dat?
>>24196406Basically this, honestly.
>>24196390[X] [PRESS] Temple? Whaddaya mean by dat?There was like, a hallway, and a cave. And some tiles that looked interesting, but I didn't get a good chance to see 'em 'cause I had to magic them clean and the magic brought us here.Is that this here 'Temple'? I've heard other species have those, but we Ogres don't. Should we get one, do ya think?
>>24196390[X] [PRESS] Temple? Whaddaya mean by dat?[X] [WRITE-IN] [INFORMATION] Hey, do ya know dem bug fingies we'r fightin'?
>>24196390[ ] [WRITE-IN] She's blushing, flirt with her, ask about her interests.
>>24196377>>24196390>Celicia can't help but get the feeling that the demonic arachnid has ducked its head to hide its blush.>"My home," Coreweaver hisses shyly.>"Wait..." The eyes brighten up, and there is suddenly a spark of excitement in her voiceShy Spider Demon Godess? Fuck Yes!
>>24196390Press. Gotta get our bearings and figure out what's going on.
>>24196390PRESS!And ask bout the Formichroma, I guess.
Rolled 53>>24196462Like I said before, I roll to seduce.Regqrdless of it having been a joke the first time.
>>24196553Hey, if she falls in love with Boss Bawss, she might even weave some nice clothes for Ogir Place out of her own silk.Demon queen spider silk armor for the giant golem home?Iit could happen.
>>24196597No romance for the Bawssman. He's got no time for dat! Too busy helpin' Ogres and stuff.
>>24196621I didn't say Bawss was going to reciprocate, just that the demon spider queen might fall in love if he keeps up the flattery.
>>24196650>the demon spider queen might fall in loveKind of like the Scaratone Queen?
>>24196597It would have to be unrequited. Bawss has a whole mess o' people to look after and I just don't see him being able to get into a relationship no matter how weird. And he's too dense anyway. He is an Ogre after all.Then again spider demon with a crush on him that he never gets is adorable as fuck.
>>24196658GIRLS CAN'T LOVE GIRLS! GIRLS CAN'T LOVE GIRLS! GIRLS CAN'T LOVE GIRLS! GIRLS CAN'T LOVE GIRLS!
>>24196726So we can't have awkward loving friendship between the Scaratone Queen and the Coreweaver? How depressing
>>24196658Ogre Quest is the most disturbing harem anime I've ever seen.Elf, Bug Queen, Giant Demon Spider. And didn't that bound demon lord flirt a little, too?We have to watch out the necromancy we do on our Holy Solar Skellies, or we'll end up with a Lich who likes us, too.
>>24196658Do we roll for anything yet, Blorp?
>>24196882N-N-NO, WE'RE GOOD FOR NOW
>>24196943I kinda want to use the goddess intervention on a roll to flirt with the demon spider queen.
Rolled 73>>24196963Boy you don opened a can of Dune worms.
>>24196963lets save it for the inevitable boss fight against the evil bug leader.
>>24196963While that would be funny as all hell, we should save it for the fight.
>>24196963Save it for the fight.
>>24197014Agreed. We have a suit of TOTALLY NOT MAGITECH ARMOR from last time.Plus the healing butts should help a lot.And we aren't even rolling for anything yet.
>>24196963Like we need any help with that. Ogre seduction is best seduction.
>>24197096I mostly just wanted to do it to see how hard the very idea would make Blorp cry.
>>24197115Shame on you. He goes through so much already.Don't worry, Blorp. You're our little trooper.
>>24196878>And didn't that bound demon lord flirt a little, too?I think thats more between him and Gubbins.
>>24196390>[X] [PRESS] Temple? Whaddaya mean by dat?>[X] [ASK] - an' whaddaya know about the Formichroma?There's a short pause after Boss Bawss asks his two questions."My temple, my temple... centuriessss ago..."There's a rattling sigh from somewhere above them, and a good chunk of the eyes go half-lidded in fond remembrance."Left the demons and their warsss. No use for archdemon lord overseer, not against mere mortalsss." There's another wistful sigh. "Found a small, fearful people, on this very land... small, fearful, and deliciousss. They even began worshiping me. Did not even need to ask for a nibble every now and then... they gave me sacrificesss. Yessss... even after they lost their land, lost this temple, they continued worshiping me. Built other templesss..."Suddenly, there's a new tension in the air, and Coreweaver's eyes seem to narrow, the glow growing less uniform and more chaotic, casting shadows inside with its dim red light."Then, betrayal... the Formichroma birthed a prophet with new powerssss." The breathy hiss sounds more and more like it did when the ogres and elves entered Coreweaver's sanctum, and Celicia gives a start when she realizes she can place emotions to the tone: bitter and sad. "No longer did they need me, fear me, respect me, admire me. No longer a symbol of the world's cruelty... just something to be conquered! Yesssss..."The eyes move a few meters lower as Coreweaver seems to slump down a bit. "Jussst a tool," she hisses mournfully. "Nothing more. Nothing more..."(Cont.)
>>24197196"Wow." Boss Bawss's brow furrows. Worshiped for all those years through thick and thin, and then just thrown away? "Dat's a bleedin' shame. Someone like you, ya don't deserve somethin' like dat.""Sssss..." Given how its eyes move once more, dipping down and shuttering quickly, there's that strange sense that the demonic arachnid ducks its head. "M-Mere flattery, mortal... i-it'sss not like I haven't heard such thingsss before...!""Nah, I'm an ogre." Boss Bawss looks up and meets the entity's eyes again. Coreweaver looks back down, blinking in confusion. "I ain't good at sneaky stuff like flattery or anythin' like that."Celicia palms her face, not sure whether to be exasperated, horrified, or just plain exhausted. Just when she thinks Boss Bawss couldn't ever top himself, he goes and does something like /making an arachnid demon blush multiple times./Now, how to proceed...?[ ] [ELABORATE] Conquered by the Formichroma? How?[ ] [AID] So, seems like you're in a pickle...[ ] [REVENGE] Actually, we're fightin' da Formichroma![ ] [FLIRT] And may the gods help us all.[ ] [WRITE-IN.]
>>24197206[X] [HUGS] LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE NEEDS A HUUUUG
>>24197196>>24197206[X] [WRITE-IN.]ALL THE ABOVE.Except instead of flirt, hug.
>>24197206[X] [FLIRT][X] [AID][X] [REVENGE]
>>24197220Oh GOD yes. Hugs all around.
>>24197220Ogres are big and strong, ogres give the best hugs.Also, [x] [FLIRT]
>>24197206[ ] [REVENGE] Actually, we're fightin' da Formichroma![ ] [FLIRT] And may the gods help us all.But, But I. . . Damnit![X] [ELABORATE] Conquered by the Formichroma? How?[X] [REVENGE] Actually, we're fightin' da Formichroma!
>>24197206>[ ] [ELABORATE] Conquered by the Formichroma? How?>[ ] [AID] So, seems like you're in a pickle...>[ ] [REVENGE] Actually, we're fightin' da Formichroma!Mainly Elaboration, with a fusion of Aid & Revenge thrown in.Ask how they did it, 'cause we're also fighting the Formichroma right now.Also, Tsundere Spider Demon!
>>24197206[X] [AID]Oh hell with it. This is Ogre Civ.[X] ALSO HUGS
>>24197220[X] [HUGS] LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE NEEDS A HUUUUG
>>24197220Seconding. Even giant spider demons need hugs. And offer her a hat, too. Customary ogre greeting, hug and a hat.
>>24197283Actually, you know what, forget this.Go with >>24197249 instead.Also hugs. Because god damnit Ogre Quest.
>>24197206You better make the Flirt scene a deleted scene for when this is all over, even if its just Bawss fanfiction from the journal of Scaratone Queen/Coreweaver
>>24197313This, then we can offer our assistance
>>24197206[ ] [ELABORATE] Conquered by the Formichroma? How?[ ] [AID] So, seems like you're in a pickle...[ ] [REVENGE] Actually, we're fightin' da Formichroma![ ] [HUGS]
>>24197344Yeah, a Deleted Flirt Scene sounds fun.OH!Also make one for what would have happened if we chose to fight the demon.
>>24197344>>24197450I HAVE THE BIGGEST Backlog of bonus things to write RIGHT NOW
>>24197450I do think it's interesting how little fighting we wind up doing."Look here's this horrific and altogether strange being that poses an immediate threat!""Time for hugs!"Fukken Ogres.I'm looking forward to some actual battle.
>>24197499>I'm looking forward to some actual battle.We fight with words.LITERALLY>>24197488Then get to writing!This isn't a Monthly quest!
>>24197512Don't get me wrong. I love the diplomancing silliness. But variety is the spice of life.>>24197488Have we ever had a regular quest replaced with just an entire thread of you writing that backlog? Because I'd be down for that.It would be like a clips episode.
>>24197488That you do Blorp...Ah, before I forget, this is your twitter right?https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest
>>24197548I was thinking a post-quest montage of what couldve been.
>>24197488Don't give him more stuff to do guys! He only gets to do threads until around 1:00 AM. That's why we move so slowly every week.
>>24197206>[X] [ELABOR/AID/VENGEANCE]>[X] HUG AND A HATWhatever the reason, Boss Bawss appears totally oblivious to the demon spider's reactions, instead giving her a serious nod. "So, wot 'appened between you and the Formichroma, anyhow?""Sssss..." Coreweaver glowers at nothing in particular. "Ssssold out by one of my own kind. Treacherous demon... gave the Formichroma the means to seal me. Held at bay, I am... with the prophet's unique giftsss."Boss Bawss mulls this over for a second. That seems pretty straightforward. "So if we krumped da Formichroma's prophet, would dat help?"Coreweaver blinks. "... w-what? But... why would you even think about...""Well, we was gonna krump da Formichroma, ya know." Boss Bawss grins up at the demon. "It's a bonus if we can free somethin' like you as well, 'cause you've been wronged by them, too. It's a win-win thing!""Sssss... s-sssss..." The Unspeakable Horror of the Darkest Depths stammers for a solid five seconds as she's taken off-guard by Boss Bawss's willingness. "Is that truly what you think...?"In response, the larger ogre lumbers up to the closest appendage and then, without warning, wraps his arms around it in true ogre fashion.(Cont.)
>>24197744ROLLTOHUG>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Rolled 15>>24197753ROLLIN TO HUG
Rolled 64>>24197753Hurr how do i hug.
Rolled 38>>24197753Welp here goes nuthin'.
Rolled 84>>24197753HAHA TIME FOR FAILURE
Rolled 34>>24197762Well fuck. We fail at hug.>>24197753Hoping for the best.
>>24197762>15>not so good>hug;_;
Rolled 22>>24197753USE GODLY INTERVENTION ON BEST HUG
Rolled 54>>24197753>Hugs for the Hug Throne
Rolled 44Does diplomacy count towards hugs?
Rolled 1>>24197762>that rollDid we just crush her hopes and dreams? We get her all hot and bothered and botch the most important part!
Rolled 8Once more with feeling.
Rolled 43>>24197783>>24197794>>24197797If only they had com first
Rolled 32>>24197753I call for divine intervention!
>>24197794>>24197797>>24197809Too late ;_;
>>24197809Pretty much, son.
>>24197783>>24197794>>24197797Oh man. These doubles are beuatiful.>>24197809You're beautiful too.But anyway, guys, what's the worst that can happen from a below average hug?
>>24197821>too lateWE ARE OGRES!NOTHING IS TOO LATE
>>24197821GUBBINS! REWIND TIME FOR BETTER HUGS!
Rolled 47>>24197821Nothing is too late with Gubbins on our side.
>>24197809Yes and no. Don't worry, guys, that 15 doesn't necessarily affect the quality of the hug!It just... means things will be a little harder.
>>24197836>>24197836>>24197845>>24197855INDEED!TIME IS OUR BITCH.BLORP! GIVE HUGS! GOOD ONES!(this is getting silly)
ok the question is now, do we use out fate point? i think we have one.
>>24197880>It just... means things will be a little harder."Oh shit, uh...Do I wrap my arms around your abdomen or legs or...this is hard!"
>>24197888I think we can recover from a botched hug, guys. Let's keep that intervention in reserve.
>>24197845>>24197855Yeah, I wondered how long it would take for that to come up.>Fail time manipulation roll>Just make the hug long and awkward for everyone>>24197880Oh you!You're just glad there's finally a sane roll.
>>24197880The post you just quoted rolled a 1.Take that into account. You saw it.
Rolled 24>>24197880Wait. Its a spider demon right?Every roll made could be for each ogre hugging one of her legs! Super group hugs!
>>24197880...Awwwww, the Formiwhatsits made it unable to receive hugs? The bastards
>>24197880You better take the triple dubs and the 1 into account, dammit.
Rolled 70>>24197880"I was thinkin', -SHUTUP BOYZ- I was thinkin' bout givin yous a hug... where do I hug?"
>>24197908The potential for failure is what makes an adventure interesting, friend. Otherwise it's just masturbation.
>>24197906... Gubbins isn't actually here right now, come to think about it.To be fair, I never actually wrote it out or asked who would be coming to the strategy meetings, so that was my bad.(Though even so, the risks of failing a time manipulation roll are pretty high, especially in proportion to redoing a hug.)>>24197925... fff they are REALLY late compared to the rest of the rolls, given that they were likethe eighth through tenth rolls, and then some(And sadly, there aren't any gimmicks, like consecutively numbered dubs or anything this time)
>>24197947Plus, ogres successes are hilarious. Think of how funny ogre FAILS are!
>>24197974>(Though even so, the risks of failing a time manipulation roll are pretty high, especially in proportion to redoing a hug.)You may be underestimating the Ogre Civ players. Consequences is like a foreign word.That being said, I definitely don't want to redo a hug with time magic. That's silly even for me.
>>24197762Can we use a goddess intervention here?
>>24197974Fair enough. Oh well, at least I will get the satisfaction of a truly transcendental godly intervention bonus, so long as your mind doesnt snap writing it.
>>24198058Stop that right now.A mediocre hug is fine.
>>24198058It's a hug. It's a mistake we finally Don't need to reroll. Besides, I want it incase we need to combo move the Formichroma boss into an aerial finisher from Ogre Place.
>>24198058>>24198075>>24197888So I'm hearing some calls for a Goddess Intervention! Might as well put it to a vote while I get the next post written up:Goddess Intervention for the hug?[ ] [YES][ ] [NO]Yes, this will actually have a noticeable impact, somewhere and sometimeAnd I am fine with either outcome
>>24198128Yes, ogre hugs must always be the best hugs.
>>24198128noJust roll with the failure lads. It makes the eventual good roles even sweeter
>>24198128Positive or Negative impact?Or is it a mix of both that leaves the resulting state we're in more or less the same?
>>24198128>[ ] [NO]Naah. I'm okay with one fuck up.
Rolled 94>>24198128This is going to be the best hug in the history of time!*Beat*Waaaaait are we calling in our god to help us out with ANOTHER GOD?Almost had me there Blorp...
Rolled 53>>24198128>wasting the luck we've accumulated on a hugI can't possibly see where this will go wrong.
>>24198128[X] [YES]I know what you're thinking, this is stupid. However, we want to have her fully on our side, not halfway to our side, then finding us stupid and weak when she's released to eat our friends.Plus, and the slow rate these threads move, and the fact I believe our intervention fills in two threads not two turns, we'll likely fill it again before we fight the end boss.Plus, Ogres. Our luck fails us so irregularly we might as well depend on it for the war.
>>24198128Perhaps not the best idea, but the idea of blowing a goddess intervention on a hug is too ogre to resist. Aye!
>>24198128fuck......YES.You just opened a can Blorp. Let's do this shit!
>>24198128No intervention.If this spider thing turns out to be mad with us, we can wrassle with it until we figure a way out, drag it with us, and then use MOAR OGRES GIVING HUGS to befriend the shit out of it
>>24198175Well, just to clear it up, Coreweaver technically isn't a god. Just a big terrifying demon spider that super-primitive people thought was one.
>>24198128Nah. Ogres hug well enough that a 15 aint gonna hurt.
>>24198178Plus, another added bonus, Demon Overseer.Think how that could help us with our Demon furnace. Ehh? Ehhh?
>>24198128No. No no no. We may be silly people playing a silly game, but there are limits!>>24198178Almost convinced me but still no.
Rolled 13>>24198198Worst comes to worse, we can just plop a hat on her head and have ourselves a silk mill. We have another demon as our furnace afterall.
>>24198205We already no how to motivate the thing. Make try to outdo an elf.
>>24198214Alright, fine.But when the war's over, and she's free, and our friend, and we leave?If she ends up eating the Queen, it's your fault.
>>24198128just an fyi, this is a hug, aka diplomancy, so we just got a 45, an average success.
>>24196878this is canon with my intrests
>>24198221Exactly. Either way, no rerolling to hug the fifty-eyed giant spider demon andohgodijustrealizedwhatweargeedtohug.
>>24198247We'll just roll proper diplomancing later during the post war cool down.
>>24198178Those are some good points, so one more for Yes.
>>24198128No. As Dwarf Fortress says, losing is fun! Having a bad roll every once in a while isn't bad at all.
>>24198247We're ogres. We're like an entire race of idiotic, impossibly lucky Nanohas. Nobodies eating each other unless its sexy timez shit.Actually in that context... Nah
>>24198289This is true, but losing is better when it's something unimportant, like a hand, but losing at hugs? never.
>>24198316Dude, we already have a potential giant bug girlfriend, and are either trying to ship the dwarf and the elf leaders for delicious irony, or something else that I'm missing. We do NOT need a spider entering the relationship barge.
>>24198289Losing in a game that takes months upon months to progress is not fun, and while I agree using the intervention is frivolous, Blorp has implied GOOD THINGS may come of it.So I will vote to use it.
>>24198361All I hear you trying to say is that ogres don't give the best hugs.
>>24198377No! The spider is GUBBIN's to make a move on.
Rolled 74Archived for posteriors.
>>24198128I vote yes
And that's how we used up our quest time arguing about whether or not to call down a divine intervention for a hug.This isn't normal, but on Ogres it is.If Blorp wasn't already writing I'd be changing my vote from No to Yes, you convincing bastards.
Another vote for yes.
yes. Use the intervention on the hugs.we must acquire the tsun spider
>>24197744>>24197753>15 - Not So Good...It was a good hug. A solid hug. Even for the fact that Boss Bawss has never hugged a many-legged demonic monstrosity, it wasn't that bad- he managed to fully wrap his arms around a furry segmented insectoid leg. No ogre hug lacks in passion or enthusiasm, that's for sure.And in hindsight, that was the problem: the hug was too good. For a demonic unspeakable horror that has known nothing of ogre hugs, let alone the feeling of being wanted by ANYONE... It was just too much all at once."SsssssSSSSSSeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!?"Coreweaver's eyes aren't the only things that are glowing red right now. In fact, the arachnid's entire BODY seems to be lighting up crimson, and its many, many legs buckle as the demonic spider entity very literally goes weak at the knees. And the resulting impacts echo throughout the sanctum of this strange place, nearly deafening everyone standing in Coreweaver's space.More to the point, all those uncountable legs were supporting an equally large body.Boss Bawss has just enough time to look up and blink before a multi-ton demon arachnid collapses right on top of him.(Cont.)
No because I want to see what kind of we drop on our enemy during the war
hey guys, wouldn't Boss's +30 count towards the hug, as it is a form of diplomacy?thus turning the non-so-good 15 into a adequate 45?
>>24198488Some time later, Boss Bawss wakes up with a small headache and both Celicia and Lockstock looking down at him worriedly."Oof." They quickly make room for the larger ogre as levers himself up, looking around. Seems like they're back in that dead ended third cavern, with all boys (and elves) accounted for. Except for one thing.Boss Bawss frowns, still looking around as if a gigantic demonic arachnid will pop out from around the corner. "Wot 'appened to Coreweaver?"Celicia cuts off the dwarf before he can say anything (like go "who now?"). "Keened a little in distress until we confirmed you were still alive. Then she started shrieking, because..." The elf grimaces. "The Formichroma's goddamned prophet apparently decided to summon her right there and then. Coreweaver is still a captive, remember? So he started pulling her out of her own pocket dimension, which booted us all out back here."Boss Bawss furrows his brow. "... huh." He levers himself back up to his feet, no worse for wear. "Guess we got another reason to beat da snot outta dat prophet, yeah?"Celicia studies Boss Bawss's face for a moment. And then she smirks, revealing her teeth in a feral grin. "Fuck yeah."Lockstock looks back and forth between the elf and the ogre's matching expressions of determination. "... alright, seriously, what in the world did I MISS?"(Cont.)
>>24198502Ah she can be summoned. Like for the war against us.Fuck.And now I'll forever wonder what would have happened had we used our intervention there.
>>24198502WE MUST NOW RESCUE A GIANT SPIDER DEMON THING,! And I cannot believe I just said that. Ok, who do we ship the spider with people?
>>24198535It would have OUTRIGHT BROKEN the control on her.So yeah, when Blorp HINTS that an intervention is a good thing, USE IT.
>>24198502OKAY, I'm gonna start typing the next post. And by "the next post," I mean "the beginning of the battle."While I'm doing that, battle plans. So far, we got>>24194452which is:>Ogres on the front>Celicia + Elves: Shoot from back lines lines>Gubbins + Heallusionists: Guard Queen>Squiggles + Rough Riders: Guard Dwarves>Bats: Guard Ogir Place>Boss Bawss + Vultan + Skellies, Patchwings: Do their own thingSound right to everyone? I'll let you guys hash it out if needed while I type.
>>24198548Nobody, the tsundere spider demon queen has an unrequited love for Bawss, and occasionally gives him gifts she "made too much of"Like spider-silk armor for Ogir Place.
>>24198561But it's always a good thing to use!
>>24198561Well at least we have a solid target for it now. Beating the shit out of the prophet.
>>24198571Probably better to scatter the Heallusionists throughout the battlefield to maximize effectiveness. Other than that I like it.
>>24198561Or we wait to hug her again on the battlefield and this hug will be the hug that breaks the chains of slavery and opens the floodgates of friendship, freeing Coreweaver and harming their prophet all at the same time.
I have a plan. A brilliant, brilliant plan.Figure out a way to amplify sound and give everyone earplugs. that way the enemy will hear nothing but wailing butts, a memory scarred into their mind after this fight
>>24198571Hmm. We could Move Gubbins and teh Skellies to OPgir Place, give him a skeleton crew to run the ship on, try and call in an "Ogir Place raid" if need be, using our greatest Geomancer to rip open the battlefield if all seems lost.Patchwings are numerous, fairly useless, and uncontrollable. We could use them with the main force to hound retreating formichroma. Don't let them regroup, keep them running.Baws will, of course, lead from the front.
Did we bring the OgreTek armor for Boss Baws?
>>24198599Nah just freeing her, unless it opens prophet/boss guy up for>>24198118Fucking love combo moves
>>24198599>I don't want to fight you Ogresssssss!>It's ok spider lady *hug*>*Magical overload and backlash as bindings break and the prophet looks on powerless as the demon turns and begins wreaking havoc and turning the tide of battle*So much more dramatically appropriate.
>>24198616I didn't ask because I assumed the answer would be 'FUCK YEAAAAAAH'
>>24198599>>24198628How about we hug the Prophet instead?Back-breaking bear hug
>>24198648YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT
>>24198649We can finish the Ultimate Combo by hugging him. With Ogir Plase. That turns into a piledriver.
>>24198608That implies anything is gonna be hostile after the fight. We are literally equivilant to magical girl shows so far. Everything we've met either becomes our friend or stops existing in any meaningful fashion
>>24198667What he said
>>24198649Now you have me imagining Boss Baws inventing his own martial arts based on the use of hugs.
>>24198670Well, what about the Demon Furnace?See, there's a third state. Used as an appliance.
>>24198697So, jujitsu? Only renamed as Bawsjitsu?Icahn dig it
>>24198723Ogir Kan Du."Did he just just fifty feet in the air, then leap from a falling leaf to cut through a dragon with a kick?""Ogres."
>>24198706>implying Cuddles doesnt secretly love usThere is also that earthen demigod we accidentally bound thats not too thrilled about us
>>24198723Ogrese Hug Jutsu
>>24198668So this, except reversed.
>>24198749He got over it. He acts like our Captain Planet now.
>>24198747That's elves in a year. We are hug style.
>>24198697Fistboss of the North Star?
>>24198776You are already loved*sparkles and forgiveness burst from the target*
>>24198776Fistboss of the Ogre Star
>>24198776>>24198794>>24198797this quest is becoming something beautiful...
>>24197762So kind of late to be noticing this and not sure if it even matters, but did anyone notice the time of the post 00:18:18.
Huh. Well, we all agreed on our starting tactics fairly easily.By which I mean only like, one dude could be bothered to add anything at all.Ogre Quest: We debate the roll on hugs for ten minutes, spend ten seconds on our battle plans.
>>24199153just the thread I was waiting for
>>24199153That about sums it up.
>>24199153Battle plans?WE ARE OGRES!
>>24199153That's because our battle plans are piss simple: make them hold still long enough to smack and/or hug. Exploding is a viable alternative to hug when it's something that's to much of a hassle to try and make friends with it.
>>24198502Boss Bawss Fistboss honestly did not think that waiting would be the hardest part.It didn't take too long for the Scaratones to get their forces mustered up. Whatever kind of a ruler their queen is, she knows her way around the logistics of moving large numbers of personnel through the winding, not-always-wide tunnels within the Hive, getting the soldiers in position while evacuating the workers to a more secure location.Similarly, the Queen also had a contingency plan for the possibility that the Formichroma would split their forces and attack BOTH the farms and the menagerie, thanks in part to the dwarves' presence- simply seal off the entrance to the main hive and knock down the walls between the farms and the menagerie, and force the enemy to funnel their forces into the waiting arms of the Scaratones.It also didn't take too long to integrate the disparate ogre/elf/dwarf/etc forces into their insectoid allies' defensive lines. Standing among the hundreds upon hundreds of shorter Scaratone warriors are the ogres who tower over their allies. Even if they weren't immediately obvious, the fact that no one ogre seems to be kitted out the exact same way makes them stand out even MORE.Behind the front lines of ogres and Scaratones, and closer to the Scaratone Queen's position, the Felpowder Elves stand tall and vigilant (though not nearly as tall as the ogres, obviously), their standardized uniforms and weaponry allowing them to match the Scaratone army's professional air. Smack-dab in the middle of the line is Celicia, an unlit cigarette between the veteran's lips- some sort of tradition of not lighting it until the battle's won, as far as Boss Bawss could figure out.Boss Bawss takes a moment to wave happily at the elven leader, eliciting a reluctant, slightly embarrassed limp-wristed wave back.(Cont.)
>>24199451Conversely, the dwarves are completely unseen right now. That's to be expected, given their role in the fight: dig and dish out chaos where they can. Given Beastkrumpa Squiggles' rapport with the ogres' naked mole ravagers, the beasties who can dig like no one's business, those boys went to keep an eye on the dwarven engineers.The Queen stands at the very back of the battle, taller even than the ogres who dwarf her own subjects. Surrounding her are the terrifying royal guards, who seem to be all chitin, shell, and muscle- along with Gubbins and a good chunk of his Heallusionists, on the off-chance that the Formichroma will go straight for regicide.As for Boss Bawss... well, he's sitting right in his intimidatingly arcane Ogretek Armor, with the vicious-looking, wildly-staring vulture-like Patchwings perched on his mech. Surrounding him are a small horde of animated skeletons, the sun's glow emanating from their eye sockets and rib cages.... come to think of it, he's gotta look pretty villainous right now. But that's a good thing, according to everyone he's talked to: Boss Bawss is being held back as the mobile-suited wildcard of the battle, with the expectation and hope that he'll charge in when and where he's most needed.Before Boss Bawss Fistboss can reflect on this any longer, the far wall of the cavern suddenly starts to crack, and a relentless scratching sound begins echoing through the chamber."Wow!" Vultan the Patchwing caws out involuntarily, fluttering his wings. Unsurprisingly, the ogres' avian(?) allies(?) didn't need too much convincing to fight alongside the blue-skinned humanoids, as evidenced by Vultan's next action: he turns to shoot a rapid-fire question to Boss Bawss: "Ogres? Ogres fight? Fight-fight?"Boss Bawss glances back. "Ogres fight Formichroma. Patchwings fight?"Vultan flutters his wings, puffing out his chest. "Fight! Fight! Fight! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!"(Cont.)
>>24199471The larger ogre can't help but crack a big toothy grin as the rest of the Patchwings take up the call, briefly filling the air with raucous cawing. Yeah, it's nice having someone who'll have your back.Soon enough, the far wall of the cavern collapses, revealing a virtual honeycomb of tunnels all terminating to face the Scaratones. The Formichroma, insects who share a precious few similarities to the Scaratones, have fielded a force to match the beetle-men's numbers, and the crimson and ebony soldiers quickly file out in an eerie sort of unison to form ranks to face down the ogres' allies.Boss Bawss remains calm and relaxed, even as the Scaratones break out into whispered hushes, as the elves prepare their rifles, and as the patchwings swarming over his mech start fluttering their wings, eager to take to the air and tear apart their foe. The skeletons, by contrast, stand completely still, as if not even bothering to react.And then the prophet of the Formichroma stands to the head of his peoples' formation, completely unarmed. It's someone that Boss Bawss Fistboss remembers well: the gold-plated Formichroma in the suit of silver armor. That terrifying insectoid who almost tore through the ogres and elves at Daphnaia, all those days ago; that being with the ability to assume direct control of his own people."Usurper!" the gold-plated Formichroma yells, his strange, many-harmonics voice carrying easily. "And the allies of the Usurpers. You, who shattered my people and stole our ancestral homelands. You, who committed unspeakable war crimes, forgotten by all but the victims. Today, you will face justice at the hands of the Formichroma."(Cont.)
>>24199483The silver-armored, gold-plated insectoid raises one segmented arm, summoning his red-and-black shield from thin air, a simple, serviceable thing of metal. "I am of two prophecies: the first, a beacon of hope for my people, has been fulfilled. It was I who stopped the useless squabbling among my own people. It was I who united the two Formichroma clans, the crimson and the midnight tribes, making us stronger than ever before."The prophet then raises his other hand into the air. "And I am of the second prophecy yet to be fulfilled, one that spells doom for the enemy we have united against. I will be the one who rights all wrongs that our enemies have committed against us."The gold Formichroma gathers magical energies in his hand. "I have no name! But in your fear, your scholars have called me the Yellow Ant, He Who Unites Black and Red! I will be the doom of the Scaratones!"And then the Yellow Ant summons his sword to him, a weapon that resembles some terrifying insectoid monster... with way too many red, glowing eyes.Boss Bawss sucks in a breath at the sight of the sword, his eyes widening as he suddenly realizes that he's seen that sword before, and that he's heard its name."Howl! Coreweaver!" the Yellow Ant roars, pointing it at the assembled Scaratones. As one, the Formichroma, black and red alike, begin to charge into the fray...And Boss Bawss Fistboss nearly shatters his Ogretek Armor's armrests into splinters under the force of his grip.(TO BE CONTINUED.)
>>24199483YEAH WELL.... YOU'RE A POOP HEAD!
>>24199509THE BASTARD IS USING HER TO KILL PEOPLETHAT...THAT...DOUBLE BASTARD
>>24199509ALRIGHT, it's getting sort of late, and I think this is as good a place to stop as any, especially since it'll take some time to get the battle underway. (And also since I didn't think it would take this long just to write the damn intro, h-haha... ha...)The next thread will be Wednesday the 17th, at 8 pm EST (or sometime thereabouts)!Thanks a lot for following, and I hope you guys enjoyed the thread! If you got any thoughts or comments, leave 'em here.
>>24199509DO IT BOSSKICK SOME ASSROW ROW CRUSH THE PROPHET! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V7aUT13qtM
>>24199471>Vultan>DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnTHypbLlkEI am now imagining a patchwing with the hearty voice of Brian Blessed and it is glorious.
>>24199550Don't forget to post your twitter, it helps us find you faster.https://twitter.com/BlorpQuestCatch ya next week.
>>24199509Oh, We gonna KRUMP this guy so hard.
>>24199509>Yellow uniting Red and BlackYou glorious motherfucker.
>>24199544Well, uh. I wouldn't say Coreweaver never killed anyone herself.But yeah. He turned her into a sword. Haaaarsh.>>24199801Is....is this, like, a reference to something? Like...the flag of Germany? Are....are we fighting German ants?
>>24199616RIGHT, that's also a thing. Thanks for the reminder!>>24199801>>24200377>pic relatedimplying I hadn't set this up starting from Thread 7