You're the soul of a swordA big fucking swordYour soul is mostly contained in the jewel in the pommelThe weapon smith has finally finished youSo, what do you have to say about that?I'll be drawing shit
>>24112454Nothing, I lack a mouth.
So wait, am I a big fucking-sword, or a Big Fucking Sword.Because if I'm a Fucking-Sword, I wait until nightfall to come alive and fuck my owner's wife.
>Boy, I wish I could chill stuck in a rock for some centuries.
Rolled 4, 10 = 14>>24112547seconded.
well the first thing we should do is search for our One True Wielder. Whether she be a little waif or he be a strapping barbarian of a man.
Check if you can move yourself.
>>24112454>The weapon smith has finally finished you>So, what do you have to say about that?Ow ow ow ow fucking ow my fucking everything?
Rolled 7, 7, 7 = 21>>24112504Cute, very cute. But you have a voice I can hear.Now, let's leave that be. Looks like you're going to be bought soon. Your life of being on a shelf is soon ending.
>>24112643This!"We have to find the One True Wielder
>>24112697WILL THE NEW OWNER BE WORTHY?
>>24112714>>24112723WILL HE BE STRONG ENOUGH TO PREVAIL?
>>24112697>Rolled 7, 7, 7 = 21>JACKPOT!
Rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 11>>24112697Yell "FOOLISH BUYER! I CONTAIN SO MUCH POWER YOU WOULD EVAPORATE IF YOU SO MUCH OF THOUGHT TO WIELD ME! NOW LEAVE, SO THAT A MORE WORTHY SWORDSMAN MAY COME!
>>24112714>>24112723>>24112643Yep, I remembered.Shakugan no Shana obtains her sword this wayhttp://shakugan.wikia.com/wiki/Nietono_no_Shana>>24112723>>24112752She beats the sword while sword was in the form of an unbeatable samuraiI dont know if it's relevant, so...
>>24112723Oh dear, very worthySeems you were luckyThe legendary treasure hunter Delilah "Little Girl" Nochas has set her eyes upon youBefore she takes a hold of you, I suggest you start doing something a tad impressive
>>24112941Do nothing, the treasure hunters always suspect the ones that are ordinary to have some sort of super power
>>24112941Let's gleam with the light of a thousand treasure-piles! Nothing flashy, just something golden and smooth along a couple faces.
>>24112941>>24112968Then as she picks us up, start speaking about being the chosen one to defeat the dread villan (insert evil despot here) and that she needs to train to become worthy enough to weild me.
>>24113067We got this in the bag.Nobody can resist the "awakened sword that blabs about destiny" sword.
>>24113067Training? Nah, this is a magical girl kind of thing. We just need a spiffy enough transformation sequence, and we've got this in the bag.
Rolled 9, 4, 8 = 21>>24112968You're a tad slow... even for a sword...She's got in her head to test you out on a rock nowAwaken something, anything, and obliterate that rock if you wish to stay in one piece
>>24113144Whisper things that lower her self esteem, like "This won't make your parents love you". Then shatter that rock into small chunks.
>>24113102Well, let's hope she transforms into something older. I just started this "Sword of Destiny" stuff, and I don't want those other "Swords of Legend" making fun of me because my weilder is crying about how "MY CRUSH DOESN'T NOTICE ME, WAAAAHHHH!!!"
>>24113144Refuse to cleave the rock because thats just pointless destruction.Offer your maker as a better test dummy, see how easy you cut human flesh
>>24113144"...kid, the fuck is wrong with you? Who the fuck tests out a goddamn sword on a rock? Try me out on that tree there, you dumbass."
>>24113237"Whoa kid, whoa, whoa. Not on that rock, that's not what swords are for! You know what swords are for? Cutting flesh and spilling blood. Spilling blood is pretty great, you should try it. Come on, let's go find something that'll bleed real nice when it's rent in twain."
Rolled 2, 5, 8 = 15>>24113237>>24113306Congratulations, your spontaneous growth of lips and vocal chords have given you a chance to voice your grievances.Sadly, none of these are grievance an experienced treasure hunter cares to hear. She has stuck you in the dirt and walked away as you shout obscenities at her back.
>>24113377"You get your tiny ass back here, you ungrateful runt."
>>24113377 "NOT ONLY A SISSY, BUT A COWARD. A REAL HERO WOULD USE ME TO SMITE SOMETHING"
>>24113377Chase after her, and continue listing grievances. She should learn how to treat her equipment better, damnit, and if she refuses to learn from a goddamn talikng sword, then she diserves what comes to her!
Float after her. "Cmon, kid, you aren't just going to throw away a magic sword you paid good money for! Look, we got started on a bad note; what say we make things right? You use me on things that aren't giant rocks, and I slash them in half! It's win-win!"
>>24113377Insult her treasure hunting license, im a fucking talking sword, DO YOU HAVE A TALKING SWORD OF COURSE YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOURE A SHIT TREASURE HUNTER
Rolled 6, 3 = 9>>24113414She points out that didn't make any sense, but is going to give you one more chance.Seriously, don't blow this again. She promises to swing at a tree, just do your thing.
>>24113527Yell hurtful things at the tree as you slice it in half.Or set it on fire as you slice it in half.Either or
>>24113527chop down the entire fucking forest in one swing. Then tell that cunt to never doubt me again.
Very well, sap is tree blood. Just make sure to wash us after words."By the Power of Grey Skull! We Are the SWORD OF POWER"Then friendship beam the tree into splinters.
Rolled 2, 8, 7 = 17>>24113527Tree explodes. Forest explodes. Orc camp explodes.
>>24113527Split the tree into a bunch of tiny saplings, that's impressive, right?
Slice all the way through the trunk, the rest of the tree turns into a sword as it falls.
break her wrist. Lets find a better owner.
Put on a fancy light show.
Oh and makre to absorb the power of the tree afterwords. With every foe slain our power, and our wielder's strength grows.
Rolled 9, 5 = 14>>24113557>>24113568>>24113620As you scream mean things at the tree, you blaze with glorious flames.The swing unleashes powerful energy that collides with the trees, turning them into powder kegs. Any and anything in the forest is now ash.Possibly the next town over, but I'm not going to look at that right now. Right now you've got an astonished child wielding a weapon that just leveled a forest.Gloat.I'm serious.
>>24113819[-Insert gloating here-]
Rolled 2, 2, 4 = 8>>24113819"NOW, you're going to not use me on rocks anymore? Because I don't think that you want a face full of gravel, right?"
Hah! A forest slain in our name. No longer shall you be known as Little Girl. You are now Destroyer of The Dark Woods (and possibly innocent villages, oops)
>>24113819Look at all this strength I got. I'm a beautiful, huge, throbbing sword. I know you want it babe. I only ask for the small payment of a litre of blood from your enemies once a week.Not so bad, eh?
>>24113819"THIS IS WHY I CALLED YOU A COWARD! YOU DONT HAVE THE GUTS TO USE ME!"
>>24113819"This power will be yours if you just buy us for 19.99 gold pieces tax included"
>>24113819hot enough for ya? Take off your pants.
>>24113902Let's wait until she's older and has some nicer tits before going that route. We're playing the long game, my friend. Besides, I don't really want to see lolitits so early in a thread.
>>24113989Dude, who knowh what might happen in the early future. I don't want to get NTR'd without having stabbed her in the maidenhood.
>>24113819Bathe in the sap/ash of your enemies.
Rolled 5, 10 = 15>>24113893>>24113861>>24113870She's thoruoghly impressed and plans on keeping you, but...>>24113896She's still got to pay for you.No worries right?Wrong, you just wrecked the smith's secret naughty toy stash. He's upping your price as well because you weren't that powerful when she left. So, what say you?
>>24114079"What is stopping the child doing to you what she just did to that forest, village and goblin encampment? I'd arguably say she gets me for free."
Rolled 4, 2, 3 = 9>>24114079(to blacksmith)"Well, you still have a hold on me, right? Only a complete dumbass would raise the price on a forest-destroying super sword while it's in the hands of a potential buyer. You don't look like a fool, so why act like one?"
>>24114079Quick, cleave the blacksmith.
>>24114079Beg your creator to let you go with the lolititsNo father wants his son to go virgin and possibly gay, even for swords
>>24114079"Kill him, child. Satiate the blood pact and we shall be bonded, and my power yours"
>>24114079"Look, all that stuff I said about how awesome spilling blood is? Yeah, that didn't stop being a thing. With some hard work we can get some proper demonic energy flowing, and then it's a quick rise up the ranks and you'll have a layer of hell to call your very own!Or you could, you know, just make a down payment and use your treasure-hunting to pay the rest in installments. That's an option, too.
>>24114173OhOkaySeems the smith didn't quite think this through. He happily accepts the original price and even gives our wielder a huge discount of -119.99With that, we're off.And that's the story of story of how you came to be and found a worthy master.Since you're a sword, you're basically stuck doing nothing but being swung around.ButYou're going to be there to dig deep and pull something out your non existent ass for her time and time again. And you're able to pull alot out your non existent ass apparentlyGood god.
>>24114402Tempt her with power.It'll be hilarious.
>>24114402reveal our ability to materialize our fighting spirit in the form of a shota.
>>24114402Whisper naughty things in her ear at night.
>>24114451Whisper paranoia in her ear. Occasionally turn out to be right.
>>24114402Ask her if you can cleave her hymen
>>24114402"Look, kid, I know you may well be tired of hearing this, but you'd be surprised out how many treasure hunters don't think about how they plan to retire! You've got to start investing in your future right from the get-go. Now, I know gold seems like a safe investment, but here's a hot tip: it's going to flood out in the future, what with all the gold we'll be putting back on the market. But you know what currency grows at a steady sustainable rate? Souls. Minimal inflation, great market value, spends on big-ticket items easily. You can build a real cushy nest egg if you start saving them up now."
Rolled 9, 6, 6 = 21>>24114402Now, first things first. YOU are going to practice your stances and swings with me for AT LEAST one hour every morning. I don't want my first wielder to die on my watch, and you need some muscles and bigger knockers to use me to my fullest extent. Second, keep me relativlaly rust-clean and sharp, and keep me by your bedroll everynight. Orcs always are a problem around here, and those goblins are sneaky bastards, too. Do those two things and I'll give you all and more of what I just showed you. Deal?
>>24114576Do that. You are RESPONSIBILITY SWORD!
>>24114528>>24114451>>24114545Naughty paranoia that ends up turning her into the BBEG? I'm in.
>>24114576This.>>24114578Followed by this, plus a getting to know you Q&A session.
Rolled 6, 2, 4 = 12>>24114495>>24114451You materialize in front of her, and make her an offer>>24114578>>24114576You get her to listen intently, she gladly accepts your terms and spends years working hard according to your instructionsYou send her on a path completely different from the one she started on. No longer afraid to take on harder tasks, she makes a name for herself downing monsters of all sizes. With an overzealous attitude, she drops heavy clothing and armor to maximize her speed. Her training and regiment however, does nothing to increase her bust size, and however strong she gets, her muscle never get much definition to them. But she's doing well for herself.And has you to thank for it.Now she's joined up with a party and they have plans of handling a dragon that's been causing damage throughout the landOh dear.
>>24115020Wait, so we have muscle loli now?
>>24115020And how will killing a dragon be a problem?
>>24115020 While she sleeps, ask the party wizard for a little polymorph here and there in return for making the dragon fight easier.
>>24115020Well, it's not all bad. AT LEAST THAT ASS LOOKS FANTASTIC! And goddamn, those legs!
Rolled 9, 7, 9 = 25>>24115159Attempting to become a real boy!
Erm, sorry. I meant>>24115020Attempting to turn into a real boy!
>>24115182>>24115221We are the pinocchio of fire and death
>>24115357>Those breasts.THAT IS NOT A LOLI.YOU SLANDER THE NAME OF LOLI WITH SUCH AN ABOMINATION.
>>24115379Shit, wrong one. Rather, like this.
>>24115411...Meh. I've seen worse muscleart meant for "personal" use.
>>24115431Exactly! We need to find a wielder who isn't flatter then a 2x4 AND looks like she is a major 'roid user.
Rolled 3, 10, 3 = 16>>24115221>>24115312>>24115182CongratulationsYou're now a literal real boyBut she needs a sword and you were the best piece of work she had.Better find a way to rectify this
>>24115758Attempt to turn back into a sword
>>24115758Turn her into a sword.
>>24115636Nonsense! Proper demon lor--warriors have STYLE. Our current wielder has that down pat.>>24115020Alright, kid, we've come a long way together, but a dragon? We're stepping things up a league. Dragons are assholes with every damn advantage they could possibly get, but we can handle it, because 9999 times out of ten thousand they're dumb as rocks about actually using them, and when the job's done, there's enough gold in that hoard to collapse the market. Seriously, dragons are morons when it comes to financial planning. The main thing you have to worry about is getting in range; the bastard'll definitely try to breathe some kind of nasty shit at you; I can deflect it if you get me in the way, but you'll have to be quick about it. Once he thinks you might actually get in range to bring the pain, he'll either try to take to the air or eat you. If he's dumb enough to try and eat you, cut his fool head off. If he tries to fly... well, you'd best run faster so you can get on board, because once he's in the air if you aren't on top of him, our job just got a lot harder. Sound good?">>24115758"Er, sorry about that, don't know what I was thinking."
>>24115810Yes! Do this one!
>>24115758I turned into this form because I need a little mana transfer.Catch my drift?
>>24115851>mana transferShe probably wouldn't catch our drift.
>>24115758Tell her to fuck offJust because she's the DMs favourite DMPC doesnt mean we answer to this little bitchThen walk awayIf she's in to murder, then I guess she'll just murder us
>>24115851>>24115874Worth a try. After all, she'd make a terribad sword.
>>24115758Fight dragon by having her wield me like a sword. Kill dragon with the power of akward childhood crushes.
>>24115810No, WE are the sword.SHE needs to be the SHEATHE.HINT HINT.
>>24115948This, but more politely
>>24115784This. We'll get to >>24115810, or >>24115851, or >>24116043 after the dragon's dead.
Rolled 6, 3, 4 = 13>>24116008And it was awkward as hellBut somehow you both pulled it off, and you're a human. A human sword... Honestly, are you even in my jurisdiction anymore? Oh well, do you want to be a human forever?
THREAD IS ARCHIVEDhttp://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/24112454/
Rolled 3, 7, 4 = 14>>24116286WaitWhat?
>>24116264No being a human sucks turn back into sword form and go into human form to give her the dick
Rolled 5>>24116264Well, since I'm stuck like this until I figure out how to turn back, you want to go steady, Delilah?
>>24116264Naw, we gotta be a shapechanging sword , eternally trying to tempt the owner with whispers of power and shoto forms.
>>24116264Nah, go sword.
>>24116264For now. But first things first, some fucking clothes.
You bastards realize what we are right? We're a magical weapon that can be human. WE ARE SOUL EATER.
>>24116264I demand a bigger leaf!
>>24116392Do we even have a name?
>>24116451Yes. Big Fucking Sword. Wanna know why we're called Big?
>>24116462OOH, I choose Baltir F. Swarth!
>>24116532God damn thats fancy. Thats three gay peacocks fancy. I like it!
Rolled 3, 6, 3 = 12>>24116323And once you're clothed>>24116305You ask her to be by your sideWith an awkward silence, she slowly works up the courage to utter these words"But you've always been at my side"Shit, gives me diabetes just looking at herBut you got the girl, congratulationsYou lucky motherfucker
>>24116561THANK YOU, GOOD SIR! IT IS WONDERFUL TO MEET SOMEONE WHO CAN APPRECIATE MY TALENTS! AND WITH THAT, I BID THIS THREAD ADEUUUUU!!! (flies off on a pair of cute pumps that shoot rainbows from their heels)
>>24116616Question: If we have children with her, would she give birth to daggers?
>>24116616PROCEED TO HEARTFELT ROMANTIC KISS!
>>24116616Okay, look, someone has to be a sword.We can't fuck up generic antagonists without a weapon.This is silly
>>24116687Hey, we might be human now, but we're still Big Fucking Sword. A heartfelt, romantic, FOREST DESTROYING kiss.
Rolled 2, 6, 8 = 16>>24116687Rolling for it being totally fucking romantic!
>>24116687And then turn into a sword right before she kisses you.
>>24116717Bitch we killed a dragon in our current form. EVERYTHING ELSE CAN SUCK IT, WE KISSING OUR BELOVED RIGHT NOW. TENDERLY
>from talking sword to waifushit in 13 postsGod fucking dammit, /tg/ yall gay as hell.
Rolled 7, 9, 10 = 26>>24116747NO. We'll be swordin' it up later, now we're gonna do real boy things.
>>24116768Well yes. Yes we are.
>>24116768not gay just... strange. and lonely.
>>24116788oh god I'm so lonely. And its sunday, its not even socially acceptable for me to drink.
>>24116806>on /tg/>caring about what's socially acceptablei shiggy diggy
Rolled 10, 6, 9 = 25>>24116806Do what I do. Drink mouthwash and cry in the bathtub with the shower running.
>>24116840>>24116850I've got to maintain some level of decorum or I just become that weird loser who drinks all the time.
Rolled 5, 2, 7 = 14>>24116532Official because I'm lazy and it's glorious>>24116687>>24116722>>24116723I have no words
>>24116889OUCH. That hurt, anon. That really hurt...
>>24116788I just wanted to be a fuckin sword and do sword things, mang.
God. Hey God of Weapons. Better kill the love interest or forge a new sword. All this kissy googoo is making me puke.
>>24116889Here's what I do, now bare with me because y'all may find this difficult to believe. Play tg and, here's where the plot thickens, have a social life. Shit just go real.
>>24116920Great! Now let's find something to kill!
>>24116977Motion has been seconded, all in favor say Aye.
>>24116920Well, let's go have some more adventures! (buys a new sword, heads off into the nearby ruined dwarven city)
>>24116923>>24116931Seconding these two
>>24116768Did you not know that /tg/ stands for "totally gay"?
>>24117019Morph back into a sword.We're like the opposite of a prince frog.Only a sword.
>>24117027That joke is old as fuck
>>24116923>>24117003Nay. ADVENTURE AND ROMANCE AWAIT!
>>24117047I know that.
Rolled 3, 8, 2 = 13Alright, this is getting silly, I'll check back on them when they go back to having weaponsI'll try to come back Tuesday. Work in the morning
>>24117038I can dig it.
I have a feeling we're gonna get attacked by some elves for all this forest destroying.captcha: inseCo agreesSee? The mighty god inseCo agrees with me.
>>24117101Awww, bye god of war. BRING BIGGER SWORD NEXT TIME.
>>24117137And less transformation faggotry.
Wanted to let you guys know before I hide this thread, that this is the best quest thread I've seen in a while.Carry on Questfags
I think the grand consensus is that we need more sword and less shota
>>24117203Romance, yes. Naked ten year old boys, no.
>>24117203we always need more sword
>>24117248I want neither. In fact, the funniest part of all the waifushit was her swinging around a naked shota to slay a dragon
>>24117271Waifus and rediculousness... CAN'T WE HAVE BOTH AT THE SAME TIME?!
>>24117425Because waifus are inherently boring, detract from the ridiculousness, and attract swarms of people who want nothing more than more waifushit.
>>24117425Why do people want waifushit anyway? Never really got that...
>>24112454I know my stats would be something like;Big Fucking Poisoned Blade.Damage: 1d10. Critical: 19/20.x2.*The damaged for must make a successful fortitude save DC 13. Initial damage: 2d6 con. Secondary damage: 2d6 con. If the striken foe is immune to poison, they take +3 damage from the big fucking poisoned blade instead.
>>24117464True... I'll be fine with turning back into a sword while we adventure, anyways.>>24117466Crushing social awkwardness and mental disorders tend to help.
>>24117585Yeah, but how can people even relate to the character so fast they want waifushit after five posts? I could understand if it was something that developed over time but this here is just silly.
>>24117771>Six quest posts in we destroy a forest by making it explode.I didn't think this was meant as a serious Quest Thread in the first place...
>>24117830Yeah you have a point. Its just that it seemed to completely change the way the story was developing thus far.
>>24117830>>Six quest posts in we destroy a forest by making it explode.Which is a hell of a lot different than>KISS HER KISS HER TREASURE HUNTER-CHAN IS MAI WAIFU
>>24117891True, but I still say that the quest might be saved WITHOUT killing our partner. OP just needs to keep the story focused on how we're a sort of manisfestation of the sword, and leave out any time jumps or things like that. It would also help if we get more out of Miss Loli's life story, why she went out treasure hunting and where the story is set. Stuff like that'll help with keeping the story somewhat realistic.
>>24118059Killing our partner? What?On the other points i agree though. But i still don't like the waifu aspect.
>>24118059All of that stuff sounds boring as shit compared to the Big Fuckin Sword doing Big Fuckin Swords things I signed up for.
>>24118079Yeah... The waifu part is a bit... much. Let's start slow with the relationship, let OP play up the fact that the MC's are sort of the odd couple."SHE'S A TREASURE HUNTER!""HE'S A TALKING SWORD!""THEY'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP!"
>>24118166Also what this guy >>24118105 said. More burning everything would be nice.
>>24118240Damn! I forgot! We need to murder the shit out of that blacksmith!
>>24118059>>24118166Awkward teenager romance, Ahoy!
>>24118166Actually i would think it would be better to just finish all the romancing bit here with them being perfect for each other. He goes back and forth from sword to boy when needed and they go around being awesome not-awkward adventure couple! That burn down everything!
>>24118390Exactly. It works for me. I second this.
I capped the thread for you guys, but it was too large to post here. So here you go: http://imgur.com/iAF6L6K
>>24120132I capped the thread for all you guys, but it was too large to post here.
>>24120132You can just archive it, you know.
>>24120212But I wanted to save all of the good parts, and non of the shitty posts.
>>24120212Also, I felt like being autistic.
>>24120408>and non of the shitty posts.But you saved all the waifu shit.
>>24120473To each his own.