Since the dawn of time, the peoples of the world have had their legends. Be they the titanic figures who forged the great nations, founded the eternal cities, and codifies the very beliefs that millions still hold. Be they the heroes and villains who have shaped the land since with their deeds. Their acts are monumental, their personages monolithic, but it is their stories that truly shape the land. Stories are the lifeblood of a people, they shape their culture, their very way of thinking. And, in every one of these tales, these legends, there is a single shared strand. Everyone must sleep. Everyone must eat. Everyone desires companionship. In all of these legends, these myths, these heroic tales: a single constant. The Tavern.Adventuring is not for you, and no God has made you his chosen. Evil is, well, risky. Politics is boring and deadly in equal measure. Farming? You'd rather plant a hoe into your own head than into the dirt for the rest of your days. No, you will become legend through the clearest, best path you can imagine. Its time to open a Tavern. The Tavern.But first, who are you? We will begin with name and gender. General consensus decides, in the event of a tie I will call for rolls.
Our name is Urist.Our gender is Dwarf.
>>24092031Opportunities for a nonhuman will be, well, limited. Though if this is the consensus it will be so.
Name: PercyGender: Male
Rolled 72Tallius, male.Including roll just in case.
A quick, very general, setting overview.The time of legends is over, and the time of man has begun. In the hundreds of years after the final defeat of the Clockwork Empire, the race of men have swarmed across the continent with nationalistic vigor, initially under the banner of the Lord Protector and from then under his many successors.In the current day, the Protectorate has conquered the known world, and has ruled it for over a century. Nonhuman nations are given internal autonomy, but are heavily taxed, and the nonhumans face economic restriction outside their own lands.Where war has ended, chaos has instead reared its head. The roads are dangerous places, the occasional Protectorate patrol not nearly enough to stave off the onslaught of monsters, bandits, and worse. This gave rise to the modern institution of Adventuring. Taverns, consequently, have become more common to cater to the travelling bands of warriors now common throughout the Protectorate.
>>24092031It's the only correct answer.
>>24092239See if we can get a tax write-off for providing a crucial service to the stability of the nation.
Calling for Tallius Urist, human.Hold for background options, gentlemen.
>>24092374>>24092406>>24092190Three posts for the same thing, each nearly one word. I'mma call samefag.
>>24092463I promise I'll write a novella next time I vote for a Name.
>>24092463There is no way to prove this, or provide evidence towards it. I ask that you simply live with the chosen name, there are many details to come.
>>24092463That third one is me. Dunno about the other two. I can assure you, I am not the other two. I rarely, if ever, make suggestions in Quests. I mostly lurk.
>>24092374The fact that this is such an issue at this point is amusing. This is me, cry more.
You know what we should do? We should do the fantasy version of this. It'll be grand!
Now that we know who you are, namely Tallius Urist, a human who seeks to open a Tavern, we get to how you came to this decision.Are you:> The Failed Adventurer: In your youth, you dreamed of grand adventure. The tales of those who toppled the Clockwork Empire, the companions of the Lord Protector, these things were had lulled you to sleep, gave you purpose. As soon as you were able, you became what you dreamed. You, to put it kindly, were not one of the heroes of legend. Years of mercenary work tired you out, and now you are here, ready to open a Tavern like the ones you spent so many nights at.> The Retired Guardsman: You spent your young years, and then some, in the service of the City Watch of the capitol. You were good at your job, but not exceptionally, gaining a good deal of respect from your peers. Now, with pension in hand, you seek to open a Tavern, a dream you shared with a comrade who fell in the line of duty long ago.> Disgraced Politician: You fucked up. Born into privileged, you had the golden path before you. A cushy position in the senate, and you were not even bad at it. You got some good done. Then, the scandal. You can't show your face there again, that's for sure. In fact, you needed a new name. Its time for the back up plan, now you are simply a Tavern owner, nothing more. Hopefully no one recognizes you.> Amnesiac Barman: Who are you? Who knows? You have a name, and you remember your way around drink, food, and lodging. The rest is known only to the gods, along with why you woke up on a wagon heading to the place where you now stand, money in hand, looking to purchase a Tavern. Its all you know.Choice by consensus, lets be civil, gentlemen.
I call for a Kabuki style joint where all the girls are bards, rogues and monks. The Bouncers are Half Orc Fighters and theres a fortune teller (wizard/sorcerer/what have you) and the bartenders are fighter/rogues or alchemists if we can use the PF class.
>>24092698Politician for sure... you can serve low class dealings to high class patrons because of who you used to be and who you knew.
>>24092698Lets go for Adventurer, even more opportunity for shenanigans. Inn of the last home and whatnot.
>>24092698Failed Adventurer, for sure. We're one of those people whose best just isn't good enough.
>>24092698There are bonuses attached to the backgrounds. These will be rolled or after one is chosen.
>>24092878No because we wouldn't even have the entrepreneurial spirit to want to open up a tavern at that point.
Disgraced Politician Could become very interesting. Also do we get to pick the scandal?
>>24092935It will be left vague. For now.
>>24092917No, that's the point - we really really wanted to be hero, but weren't just good enough. So we settle into the next best thing, opening a tavern so we can hobnob with them.
>>24093124I'm vehemantly against having a character with such a defeatist outlook towards his bar. We don't want to open the 'Moe's for Adventurers".
>>24093124I prefer politician over a failed fanboy, really. I'm envisioning a Tyrion Lannister kind of guy.
>>24093188>>24093206Failed adventurer would be funnier, though. Besides, everybody loves the underdog, right?
That's two for politician, two for adventurer.
>>24092698Amnesiac Barman. We are mysterious!
Politician, feels more interesting
Politician it is. Hold for more.
>>24093359Can we have the scandal be something really embarrassing? Like we were caught trying to solicit gay sex in a public bathroom?
>>24093400Soliciting a Centaur diplomat at the 14th birthday of the Kings daughter.
I'm going with adventurer
>>24093359Your position in the senate was not what you would call exciting, but you occasionally did some good for your constituents and lived in the comfort you were promised. Then, you decided you wanted more. You got political, rather than living simply as a politician. And you made enemies. Powerful enemies.This, you now realize, was your downfall. The scandal came without warning, ruining your reputation and making you both outcast and fugitive.Now, here you are, what little is left of your former life is on your back and in your pockets.Tallius Urist, that is your new name. That is who you are now. Time to open a damn Tavern.I need five d100s for bonuses and negatives. High is good.
Rolled 32, 58, 23, 73, 27 = 213>>24093471Rolling
Rolled 28, 62, 91, 12, 46 = 239>>24093471
>>24093438And it caused an international scandal and almost took the two countries to war! We were driven out of the high society and had to start living in a some town in the provinces. But just to show the neighsayers we're trying to rebuild our reputation...
>>24093487Apologies. One roll at a time.
Rolled 28, 69, 78, 96, 46 = 317>>24093471
Rolled 19>>24093507Oh shit.
Rolled 10>>24093507Got it! So >>24093495 is the first one, here comes another.
>>24093507Hey OP, could we have a centaur stablehand? Also, could we have a crippling fear of riding?`
>>24093471One of our enemies should be the guy who was responsible for making the party for King's 14 year old daughter, since our unfortunate advances ruined it, and his chance to kiss up the King.
So many low numbers! This is great!
>>24093583He's stuck as the minister of food health inspectors now, instead of being a grand vizier or something. Please let's do this, it'll be cool!
>>24093528>>24093499>>24093438Great idea I can already see this thread is going in a great direction.
Name of our tavern: Shrieking Cock. It's logo is a brilliantly colored fowl who is being choked. We are famous for having the strongest beer on tap on this side of the river, and you have to be at least level 12 to even try it.Very traditional, see.
Let's hire only the bustiest wenches to serve in our establishment, and promise them that we have a strict no fondling-policy, enforced by Helga the Cave Troll Female Impersonator.
>>24093670We also serve small snacks that are guaranteed to be the smallest on this side the river, too. Find a smaller snack and get your money back!
>>24093438>>24093499>>24093528Blatant Fetish Quest is the other way, guys.
>>24093670No wait, screw the Cock. Our logo will be two gilded horseshoes nailed together, we're going to be called the Golden Arches!
>>24093707THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS!
>>24093575>>24093540>>24093526>>24093520>>24093495That's one bonus and four negatives.On the bright side of your current predicament, your former self was so affluent that even the meager remnants of your fortune would shame most men. You have a good deal of startup money.Unfortunately, your crime, veracity of accusations notwithstanding, was serious enough that there is a significant bounty on your head. You will be hunted.Speaking of pursuers, there is one you fear above the others. Lucretia, your wife, or rather, ex wife, wants your head. Who could blame her, with what you are accused of? It was a political marriage, you always thought it a sham, but her rage is as real her family's resources and influence.Being a man born into social standing, you know little of the streets you are now forced to inhabit. Out of your element, you may be taken advantage of.On that note, you have almost no contacts. The few people you trust knew the old you, not Tallius the commoner.Hold for possession list.
I'm pretty sure we don't even have a tavern yet kids. We might want to calm it down
>>24093891This is fucking great! Love it!
>>24093891Pfft, we're a man of good breeding so we're not put down by temporary inconveniences. Just because we don't know anything about barkeeping doesn't phase us, we just need to hire a good manager. It's not like we're used to doing work anyhow.Stroll into the finest drinking establishment in town, pop down a large bag of money and tell the proprietor that you want to buy the premises and all the good therein.
>>24093943Also, ask for a reputable interior designer, we're going to show these rubes what 'class' means!
>>24093943This without slamming down the bag of money. As a politician we would know how to negotiate to our favor.
>>24093891In the possession of Tallius Urist the commoner.8,000 Gold Senatorial signet ring.Concealed dagger, inscription reads "Imperator".Dignity.
>>24093966Let's face it, our protagonist isn't the sharpest fork in the shed. If we're being hunted by powerful enemies, ex-wives, the smart thing to do would be to keep on moving instead of buying a tavern and staying put. However, since this is the Tavern Quest...It seems that we need to utilize all the skill our money can buy. If we make a grandiose show of our wealth, we start to draw in all kinds of useful hirelings.
>>24094071Your words are wise, however I don't think that using all of our money as a blunt instrument to shock commoners into our employ would be someone who had the face and knack to get into the Senate, even if it wasn't enough to navigate those treacherous waters it'll be enough that he knows not to waste resources.
>>24094055>DignityThey might've taken away our oiled pheasant brunch and exotic ladyboy manservant, but never our dignity!
>>24094071First of, we should hire some kind of protection, a personal bodyguard. We are hunted.
>>24094055So, what kind of a town are we in? Are we a long way from the capital?
Do we have any leverage on other politicians and knowledge of things that might be useful in the future?
>>24094126True, seconding this. Could we get some kind of a paladin or knight, perhaps?`
>>24094126Indeed. Someone who's appearance screams "You don't wanna try and pump my ass full of seed."
>>24094193Unless we're into that, of course. But definitely someone who would feel dutybound to block all kinds of unsolicited ass-filling attempts.
>>24094193A particularly ugly and amoral sellsword?
>>24094055Where are you, Tallius? Where do you search for a building in which to establish your new life as Tavern owner?The Capitol: Your enemies live here, why not be reborn right under their noses? Wide variety of available locations, and diverse clientele. Property cost can be prohibitive.The Road: You want to attract adventurers, bring the tavern to them. Unfortunately, you may also have bandits come to you. Regulars are also unlikely.Village: Everybody will know your name. You will have to work for anyone important to care.Other suggestions for location may be written in. Consensus rules.
>>24094193>>24094249Well, do we want someone who looks extremely menacing or do we want someone who appears nondescript and won't be suspected as the guard until their steel is already sticking out of the troublemaker's chest.
>>24094277We should hire a death-dealing mime.
>>24094249'amoral sellsword' doesn't sound like primo bodyguard material, though. We'd do better with someone with strong ethics and personal convictions, a holy warrior or a bureaucrat or a holy warrior bureaucrat, for example.
how about this
Rolled 28>>24094269Ancient city over run with looters and such.
>>24094288A full contact mime accountant would be ideal. Where's the jester's guild in this town?
>>24094277What if he, or she's a mute?
>>24094290Bit light on body armor. Could she take a blow for us?
>>24094288What if the mime is actually a sorcerer, and his or her spells are Force based?
>>24094269Get out of the Capitol as quick as possible, atleast for now. I say we set up on the Road.
>>24094290Lolifags pls go. No thank you. We're running a tavern, not an underage Japanese panty store.
>>24094338my good man it was a fucking joke calm down
>>24094294We start a tavern next to ancient city ruin, where adventurers gather to rest and restock. We can also hock the artifacts they find, and even best we can pay with store credit! Everybody wins, especially us!
>>24094269Road, specifically try and find an important crossroads that either adventurous or trade goes through. Lets start thinking profit here.
>>24094339My bad. Terribly bad form of me, I'm sorry. Won't happen again, I promise.
>>24094324>>24094358I'd still propose to set up shop next to a popular adventuring location, it'll save us lots of trouble in the long run.
>>24094310Mutes cannot yell 'Look out, sir!' very well, though...
Rolled 6>>24094348Agreed, like this idea.
>>24094385"Popular adventuring location"? Like the local dragon's nest or Lich's tower of death?
>>24094385>Set it up next to a popular instance location.>Advertise your brew as being particularly stout and "healthy.">Adventurers assume your beer regenerates HP and/or mana.
>>24094409Next to it, anon, not on top of it. If the adventurers use the tavern as a save point there'll be lots of high level PCs around to defend it anyway.
>>24094358Fuck it lets do the Road. Being fucked to death by bandits while our gold sits there watching helplessly isn't the worst ending.
>>24094417Agreed, this is great. Need to name it though. Something easy to remember
>>24094417How tongue-in-cheek is this quest going to be? Because if we're assuming this is a a stereotypical DnD-esque world this would be great.
>>24094437'Centaur's Arse', named after a significant event in our life.
Can't we flee to the New Land? Set up shop at the frontier and be trailblazers!I assume there is a recently discovered continent somewhere OP?
>>24094459Our jingle could be: "Home is where the Hearthstone is."
>>24094417We could have a Red tap and Blue tap. Red tap produces regular beer, blue tap produces hipster beer.
>>24094517*Ahem*You're forgetting about the yellow and green tap, which holds "exotic/foreign" brews.
>>24094517We are not selling 'hipster' beer. This is an establishment for warriors and tradesmen.
We should name the tavern after our dear wifes cunt
>>24094540And the cursed Black tap that reaches into the seven hells itself, and bilges up the dreaded 'Liche's Piss'.
>>24094497Fuck yeah, this! Lets be Al Swearengen of fantasyland!
>>24094568Sorcerers are totally hipsters, though.
>>24094569'Portal of Hell' sounds foreboding, though. We need something more...cheerful. Cheering. Cheerio. Cheered.
Setup on the Road, more specific, in the New Land, far from the reach of our cunt ex-wife. I like the name The Hearthstone aswell...
>>24094640The Angry Mare.Has a good ring to it no?
>>24094575Is drunk traditionally freezing cold. It's said to steel one's resolve and increase endurance. Only for the stout of heart.
>no contacts>no street knowledge>Everybody wants you dead or worseForget the tavern, we're better off killing ourself.Or fleeing the country.
Origin. Ancient Capitol of the Clockwork Empire. The place that separates the adventurers from the pretenders. Filled with man slaying automata, lost technology, and many things undreamed of by man.Your parents told you stories of Origin. They were the scary ones. But you never got anywhere by listening to mom.The road leading to Origin is well travelled by the military and adventurers alike, though it has reason to be. Monster attacks are common. You find several buildings for sale in the area, it seems turnover is high here.Choices in next post.
>>24094773>you have to have fort save +10 or better to order this beverage
>>24094777That's defeatism, sonny! No nobleman of good breeding is daunted by having a couple of enemies, why, they're practically what makes life worth living! Let them come and see what Tallius Urist, esq., is made of!
>>24094722How about Monstrous Cock? We could have a giant hen on the front yard, to lure in tourists.
>>24094883The only thing we have is money. If we leave the country we leave our bounty, our wife, and our reputation far behind. We're in a better situation in another country. Part of high birth is knowing how to get work done. Not stubborn idiocy.
>>24094937Then again this is called Tavern Quest, not Runaway Quest. Besides, you can totally buy yourself out of problems.
>>24094932>5 coppers to ride the monstrous cock>family tickets for half price!
>>24094773>yfw Lich's Piss requires to to sign a waiver, like those "Too hot to handle" wings at some restaurants.>yfw Lich's Piss can cause negative level drain>yfw Lich's Piss is served in the skull of an actual Lich.Bonus points if the skull hurls insults and crude jokes at the person drinking from it.
>>24094932I don't know, I still like Hearthstone.
>>24095011Put it into a human skull, just make really high grain liquor and dye it somehow. Market it as such. Make a killing
>>24094959Why are the two mutually exclusive? We run away...and make the tavern in another country.
>>24095024Let's compromise and call it 'Monstrous Hearthstone Cock'.
>mfw the Anti-Magic Device is a disco ball.>mfw the place has an "alignment detector" set-up in the front>mfw there's a "Evil" and "Non-Evil" section, for those who want to practice their Evil responsibly.>mfw every table has a Bowl of Neverending Cocktail Nuts.
>>24094781Crossroads: This building, an old watchtower and barracks from the time of the Empire, is as lose as you can get to Origin without being able to smell the death. Needs repairs, stone work. No furnishings. 6000 gold.Nearby village: Gearwatch is the last human settlement on the way to origin. A hardy own, popular with adventurers. For sale is an old Tavern, the owner was murdered in a bar fight so the price is low and the town is the seller. Fully furnished, but little room for addition or growth. 5000 gold.Wizard's tower: The former home of a well known Mage, Khaldun. Not a traditional choice for a tavern. Has a unique charm, partially furnished. Somewhat out of the way. 4500 gold.
>>24095074But what about our vengeance and return to high society, in triumph? Running away would be accepting that we lost, and we can't have none of that while we still have our dignity.
>>24095114>Bowl of Neverending Cocktail Nuts.No no, if they never run out they won't buy more! Instead, we should buy our nuts from the elemental plane of Salt and charge extra.
>>24095120Wizards tower, price is right and it has "a unique charm."
>>24095120Wizard's tower all the way. It's got some furnishing and will attract helpful clientele. Having an influx of wizards is always good for business. Also not that much money, we can make it a destination.
>>24095169*demiplane of Salt
>>24095122We have a PRICE ON OUR HEAD. We are beyond vengeance in this place. People are willing to pay for our death. Our first customer is going to take one look at us, realize we're the guy that the guard wants, run outside, and show them where we are, and collect his money."Oh, but we'll get a bodyguard!" Yeah. Find a sword for hire that'll guard a guy with a bounty on his head instead of killing us for the bounty.
>>24095177>>24095174Well it's cheap, but that 'somewhat out of the way' part worries me a lot. Can we attract enough people to be profitable? We really, really need an attraction to lure people in, like a bird of gigantic proportions or something.
>>24095120Crossroads. I like the idea of being in a village and all, but having a watchtower sounds pretty badass. And if we become really, really popular its not unheard of for small towns to grow around a location like this. The future Mayor Tallius Urist esq. has a nice ring to it.
>>24095194Your face is not well known. The previous you was well known for his illustrious beard and mustache.
>>24095120Wizards tower. This is an adventurers bar.Plus, we can defend ourselves from bandits and bounty hunters with it. Not to mention the magical shit that's probably hidden around.
>>24095213Barnes and noble tavern. Instead of a coffee bar it's a real bar. The tower becomes a library that houses books scrolls and eventually forbidden lore.
>>24095194A-ha! We just need to hire an outlaw like us to be our bodyguard. Let's find who's the most wanted man in the country and hire him!
>>24095120>CrossroadsWE FEAR NOTHING!
>>24095213These adventures spend so much time adventuring, a wizards tower would feel like home to them.
>>24095230I like you, OP.
Please tell me I'm not late. I'm begging you. Reading up now.
>>24095236Forbidden erotic lore, you mean? I like the way you think! Our private porn collection, open only to the select clientele!
>>24095258You are, but I forgive you, friend.
>>24095258Relax, we're just beginning. Just agree that the tavern will be known for its big bird mascot and is called 'the Monstrous Cock' and you'll do fine.
>>24095213Periodically hire Necromancers to raise some skeletons in the basement.
>>24095261>succubai and incubai work as the librarians>Seraph barmaids"I'm an equal opportunity employer."
>>24095305Just hire some hot Half-Elves dude, no need for meddling in dimensional beings.
>>24095301And have them wrestle, right? Sounds good to me. We could buy all kinds of exotic skeletons for the amusement of our clients.
>>24095120Definitely the crossroads. It's expensive, but popular. We'll make our money back and have a profit going quickly. And its an old military outpost, so it must be fairly defensible.
>>24095326Half elf, half incubus, sounds like a plan. Where's the nearest fertile elf woman?
>>24095120Crossroads has my vote.
>>24095120Wizards tower is the best option. You can't -not- pick the tower.
>>24095351Another benefit of crossroads is that since it's the closest safe place to sleep next to Origin the adventurers will be drawn there for R&R. Also, I'm sure that Zarus' Witnesses won't bother to come so far.
Crossroads and Tower are tied.
>>24095383But the mage tower is magic.
>>24095488But the Crossroads will have awesome business and is a fortress.
>>24095488And the crossroads is money,
>>24095482I will throw my vote behind the crossroads, then.
>>24095482I vote Crossroads
>>24095510Crossroads wins.Give me thirty to eat,then we go from there.
>>24095488Nothing can beat that. I vote tower.
>>24095502The crossroads is a money vaccum. It's the most expensive building, it's broken, and its unfurnished.The tower is vastly superior. Plus, people travel for greatness. We're not going to be some swillhouse on the border.
>>24095488I know! It's such a hard decision. I'm gonna say crossroads now, and we'll buy the tower when we have extra cash.
>>24095543We could claim that the guard tower of crossroads is magic, though.
Might be interesting to make this something like the fantasy version of Polar Bear's Café.. If anyone would be interested in such a thing.
>>24095625But we don't want to open up a homo restaurant...?
Rolled 40, 97, 4 = 141>>24095537The contact for the selling of the crossroads property is a grizzled old soldier with a hobbled leg, by the name of Sullivan. Seems the old outpost has been property of the Protectorate military for years now.You arrive there by carriage, your coins clinking in a pouch by your side. The dilapidated watchtower looms.Sullivan is before you, the old soldier and two of his men mounted on horses, forcing you to look up at the man." Yer the buyer, nah? Ya heard the price, right by you?"Haggling attempts should be accompanied by a d100 roll. Taking first three linked to this post.
Rolled 43>>24096079Bring it on! We're not beating the 97, but we can try!
Rolled 91>>24096079I see a building barely standing on its own timber, and word has it unfurnished. You can not possibly expect 6000 gold for that heap.
>>24096079LET'S DO THIS.
Rolled 36>>24096079>>24096133Well that was embarassing.
>>24096079Tell the man that you need to renovate and refurbish the place, promise to pay for the work with a share of the tavern. Offer something between one fifth and one third, depending on how much you think it'll cost.
Rolled 58>>24096123What he said.
Rolled 20>>24094290That bitch has a penis.
>>24096183woops, did not mean to roll there.
>>24096123What this person said
Rolled 65>>24096079Also, take a look around the place and the grounds first, complain that the roofing is patchy and there's no plumbing. And the cellar smells funny, might be a ochre jelly infestation. Haggle down the price.
>>24096114>>24096183>>24096204Guys, you gotta write down how you haggle, you can't just roll and expect results.
>>24096114>>24096123>>24096143"I see a building barely standing on its own timber, and word has it unfurnished. You can not possibly expect 6000 gold for that heap."Sullivan raises an eyebrow, apparently surprised and even somewhat impressed by your assertiveness.Still, he has a job to do. " Heh, spirited, I'll grant ya. Five thousand, or sod off the Lady Protector's land." He seems unlikely to back down.
>>24096233Or you could read what we did put and realize we were essentially repeating what >>24096123 said.
Rolled 86>>24096263I'm calling it good enough. Don't push our luck this early, we might just insult him.
Rolled 8>>24096263Ohh come now, your commission will be all the same no matter the price. I'm buying, your selling. Give a man a decent price and its one less thing you have to worry about soldier
>>24096263Appear to think about it for a moment, then take his hand in a firm grip and accept the deal.
>>24096340Should we not both spit in our hand before we shake.
>>24096263"I don't know. There's a wizard's tower for sale for nearly as much, and it'd be far less work to fix up. Make it 4,500 and I'll give you and your boys a discount once it's up and running if you ever come by.
Rolled 42>>24096418Forgot my roll
>>24096418...I actually really like that.
>>24096418His boys?As in the entire Protectorate Army?Stop. Talking.
>>24096418I'll vote for this as well. Maybe 4700 though.Also, coincidentally, I must leave this Tavern quest that I just found to go to work. At a bar.
Rolled 74>>24096543I meant the two guys flanking him. Although a general discount for the military might get us some measure of protection eventually.
>>24096340>>24096314>>24096306"I don't know. There's a wizard's tower for sale for nearly as much, and it'd be far less work to fix up. Make it 4,500 and I'll give you and your boys a discount once it's up and running if you ever come by"Your hand shoots out. Sullivan seems pleased, and grasps it firmly upon dismounting. " I don't know where ya came from, with yer chiseled jaw and bag of gold, but you can make a damn deal, ha. You'll see me and the men by, now and then, hopefully not on business, eh? If ya need us, the post is just up the road. Good luck, yer gonna need it out here." The gold is exchanged. Your pouch feels lighter than you can ever remember it.He remounts, nods towards you, and departs with his men, galloping down the road towards the post he mentioned.You stand alone, just you and your new property.What do you do?
>>24096616Shit I really need to pay attention to whats in my email field. I'm rolling when I don't mean to and not rolling when I do want to.
>>24096634EXPLORATION AND CLEANING MONTAGE!
>>24096634Shake the pouch. Resolve to fill it up ten times over.Now..lets have a look inside and see what we're getting ourselves into.
>>24096616True enough. We'll think about that once we've got business running though.
>>24096634Head to the nearest settlement and put a Help Wanted notice in whatever serves as the common area. Something along the lines of:"Help Wanted- Someone who knows their way around tools and weapons. If interested, come to the old Crossroads guard post.
>>24096759After looking around and figuring out what needs doing first, of course.
Did the crossroads outpost have any kind of name other than "Crossroads"?
>>24096667I vote for this
A quick survey of the land reveals you have a good deal of work to do. Within the barracks are a number of long tables. These need to be refinished, and are more appropriate for a mess hall than a Tavern. The first floor is spacious, at least. Plenty of room to put in a bar and proper seating. Upstairs are the former bunk rooms, easily convertible into rooms for rent. They need only to be furnished. At the end of the central hall is a larger room, possibly good for a sitting room or reading area. Or even your own bedchamber. The tower intrigues you, but they were not kidding when they said it required stonework. The upper rooms will have to wait until you have the stairs repaired.Your course of action?
>>24097106Well we need some labor and raw materials. Lets try and salvage the chairs and benches. Cut them between the legs so they can still stand.
>>24097158This might be a bad idea we aren't a carpenter.
Rolled 81>>24097106Two options1: we go to Gearwatch, see what we can get there.2: we find an adventuring group going into the city and pay to tag along, see what supplies we can scrounge up.
>>24097106Need some agreement, or you lot can roll.
>>24097106>>24097371I say that we should go see the guards and ask if they might be able to help.
>>24097371Go to gearwatch and see if we can hire some cheap labor and get some materials.
>>24097431This, look for a carpenter and local suppliers for food,drink, oddities.
>>24097431>>24097371If they disagree for reasons other than having to man against the Clockwork place, then say that the positives our tavern will give to their morale will outweigh any temporary negatives.
>>24097440Gearwatch is a half day's journey by foot. Not having anything of value or anyone to steal, you feel relatively secure in leaving your new acquisition unguarded.An exhausting journey brings you there. You are reminded that your former life included carriages to sit in and servants to carry you. You also make mental note to purchase transport while in Gearwatch.The town is a rough looking place, half Clockwork relics and half thatched huts and woodwork. The people seem a hardy sort, many of them bearing scars that tell of past trouble and stares that tell of worse.Still, the place seems to thrive. It's precarious position seems to lend an urgency to town life that is missing elsewhere.The square is a bustle of shop stalls and passerby. It is midday, around lunch time.You know you need manpower, tools, furnishing. But where to start?
>>24097685We really ought to have started up business here.At any rate. We're going to need a Carpenter, someone to supply drinks and a barkeep.
>>24097685Labor is key our people will know the material we need. Time to find A Carpenter, someone to supply drinks and a barkeep. as well as a cheep serviceable horse.
>>24097685We need fantasy home-depot. Also a carpenter would be nice though we need to ask around.
>>24097685A carpenter and stone mason, but first let's get something to eat and drink ourselves and see what the local competition is like
>>24097685Carpenter and stone mason. Someone who can supply us with drink and food. A cook... We should learn to bartend personally. Later we will get bar wenches and a bouncer or six, but getting the place fixed up and getting the basics are most important.
>>24097873With our numerous enemies in mind it would be great to get a bouncer early.
>>24097977Oh shit, apparently we're a master at renovation.Maybe we should switch from bartender and become a general contracter.
>>24097706>>24097734>>24097740>>24097793>>24097873You resolve that finding the people you need is the first order of business, and that material will follow. You, frankly, don't know how to properly go about this. Approaching the nearest stand owner,you resolve to ask.Dialog plus d100s, please. Link your posts, need three.
Rolled 47>>24098089"Know where I can get a good carpenter? Maybe a stonemason, too?"
Rolled 94>>24098089"I'm looking for a carpenter and a mason to furnish and renovate a tavern"
Rolled 58>>24098089"Good afternoon sir (or ma'am?). Could you direct me to a carpenter?"
>>24098089You there, OP?
>>24098135"I'm looking for a carpenter and a mason to furnish and renovate a tavern"The fat merchant looks at you, then nods his head slightly." You want Santher. He handles those things around here. He's down the street, across from poor old Donner's tavern."As you leave the square, you think about the oddity of this Santher bing both stone mason and carpenter, though it makes sense as soon as you enter his shop, built into some old Clockwork structures. Santher is an Elf, something you have not seen often, having lived in the Capitol your whole life. Its unnatural lifespan must have allowed it to study both disciplines. Till, you doubt there are two such craftsmen in Gearwatch, so you resolve to do business." Can I help you, human? You smell new, and your apprehension about coming inside my shop is unnecessary."Response? Include rolls to haggle.
>>24098348...Are we seriously going to have to roll for every goddamn thing?
>>24098386QQ more kid. Looks like someone doesn't have the dedication to run a tavern!
>>24098386Rolling is fun faggot. Don't wanna roll? Go read a dam book.
Rolled 61>>24098348I've bought a fortress, recently, planning to renovate it into a tavern. The problem is it needs a great deal of work, and is almost completely unfurnished. I came to hire a carpenter and stone mason, and was pointed in your direction.
Rolled 37>>24098348HAGGLE LIKE THE FIST OF THE NORTH STAR!Saying >>24098446
>>24098386This is a quest where the main action is economics. You are going to roll for haggling, yes. Or don't, and let Santher name the price. Upon you.
>>24098461We're a little low on gold to be letting people name their price at the moment.
Rolled 56>>24098348I need someone to help me turn some ruins into a tavern, From what I've heard, you seem to be the only person around here who could help.
Rolled 43, 9, 58, 80 = 190>>24098446>>24098453>>24098483>>24098493IGNORE ME
>>24098453>HAGGLE LIKE THE FIST OF THE NORTH STAR!So what, we throw coins at him until he agrees and/or is knocked unconsious?
>>24098566>So what, we throw coins at him until he is forced to agree from hitting the correct pressure point and/or his head explodes in a gory mess?Fixed!
>>24098566Fist of the North Star, not Negima. No, we need to meditate and shoot him with a beam that causes him to feel so much pleasure he either works for us or twists up and rips himself apart.
>>24098446"I've bought a fortress, recently, planning to renovate it into a tavern. The problem is it needs a great deal of work, and is almost completely unfurnished. I came to hire a carpenter and stone mason, and was pointed in your direction."Santher is inscrutable." Well human, I am both of those. I am known as Santher, and I will make this simple for you. The crossroads outpost, yes? It's a dump, and of area fool. Out of pity, I give you a fair price. Solid thousand and ill do what you need me to, I'll even hire men to do it quick." iHe seems to know his business. Accept?
>>24098716and of area fool" And you are a fool"Damn iPad.
Rolled 90>>24098716"Seven hundred and you and your men drink at cost."
>>24098716"Excellent. My name is Tallius Urist and I appreciate your business."
>>24098758Ooh, I like this one.
>>24098758" A thousand and a half. Or find another craftsman in Gearwatch."Santher grins evilly. " You won't, but you're welcome to try."
>>24098601Sorry, I assumed just throwing coins wasn't compatible with Hokuto Shinken.
Rolled 99>>24098989"If that's the game you want to play, I have no qualms in finding another craftsman to send all of my work to.""Good Day."
>>24098989Thanks!*Turn around and walk out*
Rolled 7>>24099036>>24098889>>24098758>These fucking rolls.
Rolled 94>>24099074>anal devastatedGet recktd, elf.
>>24099036>>24099038"If that's the game you want to play, I have no qualms in finding another craftsman to send all of my work to.""Good Day."You turn to leave.You are stopped by Santher's voice." Human, wait! Eight hundred and I will bring the men and the material. I know the property, and can get you a basic tavern setup."He sounds desperate.The politician in you, your old self, is laughing his ass off. You've won. Utterly.
>>24099206Note to self: Buy "Look at how big my dick is" cigars.
>>24099206"..It's not Human Mr. Santher. My name is Tallius Urist. And You have a deal."
iPad at critical battery. If someone could archive I would be most appreciative, will return on my own computer.Give me twenty.
>>24099259Include a big smile on that last part.
>>24099259"..It's not Human, Mr. Santher. My name is Tallius Urist. And You have a deal."Santher seems relieved. He takes the agreed amount and stashes it behind his counter, which appears to have once been some sort of Clockwork device for the felling of lumber, and is now an exceedingly garish table." We have started out poorly it seems , Tallius Urist. Just Santher is fine. I will be there with my men on the morrow. And thank you for your business, may success follow your path."You walk out of Santher's shop with a bill of sale for the labor and materiel, your coinpouch growing ever lighter. Across from you is the town's only Tavern, which the merchant had mentioned belonged to a Donner. It seemed mostly vacant. The square is back down the main thoroughfare, and various craftsmen not currently applicable to your needs are all around.What next, Tallius?
>>24099781Ask around for local farmers or merchants to see about procuring food and drink. We need a regular supplier.
Thread now archived.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/24091998/
>>24099781Regular supplies, food, drink that sort of rot.Might want to look into getting some healer types too. Given our typical regulars will probably be idiots heading in and leaving the ruins, there will be injured.
>>24099818>>24099958I am here guys, just waiting on a few more posts before I run with it.
>>24099781food and ale suppliers, we'll need them, unless we're going to learn how to brew our own alcohol (which would usually be the norm for a medieval tavern).once we get those we'll need some comely bar wenches and cooking utensils. also, mugs, lots of mugs. or tankards... mugs will probably be cheaper though.
>>24099781Food and Ale suppliers are a must so we should search for them and keep an eye out for any strong looking types around town. We need that bouncer/bodyguard after all.
>>24099818>>24099958>>24100083You decide to search around, and find a supplier for your Tavern. After all, you won't make any money if you have nothing to sell.Asking around reveals a complete lack of local agriculture, as farmers lack the bravery to face probable incursion from the rogue murder machines of Origin. Food and other amenities are shipped in by caravan, and you need a supplier.There are a few eateries around Gearwatch, and they seem as good a place as any to start. After all, they once faced the same hurtle you do now. The most prominent is the Tavern across from Santher's shop, but there are others if you wish to avoid tipping off what may be your direct competition. Though, you do remember something about Gearwatch's Tavern recently losing it's owner to an unfortunate run in with a rogue adventurer...
>>24100193Walk into the tavern as if you where Ronald McDonald walking into a mom and pop's burger stand.
>>24100335Head hung low in painful shame at the horrors you've unleashed upon those billions of poor sub-par burgers?
>>24100193We should probably start with some of the eateries around town since we are just starting out and we can get our supplies from caravans later.But it might be a good idea to go over to the tavern and pay a visit to them, because in the future we might want to expand into town.Captcha: Fisheries Whats that? You want our tavern to have fish?
>>241003962nd this guy. Procuring reliable supplies is the key to any steady business.
Owners dont care about food the delegate that to the headcook, go into the nice tavern and order a meal, after you eat it ask a wench to see the chef to compliment him, he will come out ask him to sit. Offer him money to work at your new tavern, on 2 conditions he bring his food supplier and ale supplier from this tavern. Included in his stay is a room in the tavern. Negotiate his price
>>24100727Its late I cant write my own sentences *included in his stay is supposed to be included in his pay and what I mean is a permanent residence not just a hotel room
>>24100727I like this
>>24100396>>24100335You decide to start with the local Tavern, they may be the competition, but from what you can see of their current business they are a paper tiger at best. There are one or two people loitering around inside, from what you can see. They do not appear to be eating or drinking anything, so you assume they are employees. Despite this, the sign on the door assures you that Donner's Tavern is open for business. You wonder what happened to their customer base.You walk in like you own the place, or rather like you own several hundred of them. This level of practiced arrogance comes naturally to one of your upbringing. The people inside, you can see that there are two of them now, spring to attention as if surprised that any one would come into an open Tavern." Holy shit, someone actually came in?"The bald man speaks up first. He's older, in his thirties if he's a day. You'd say he looked like a thug with his built physique and broad shoulders, but that impression is somewhat ruined by the scholarly pair of spectacles he wears over his eyes. He looks for all the world like your childhood tutor decided to change his profession to that of a professional wrestler.He is joined by a woman, red of hair and fine of face. She must be the barmaid, and he the barman, from what you know of Taverns. Which is, admittedly, not much considering you plan to open one.She speaks up as well, after managing to drop the container of beer she was holding, sending the brew across the floor when the earthenware shattered like ice." Ah fuck me for a useless cunt! Can't do a damn thing right!"She kicks the nearest table, sending it farther than you would likely have, and even further than you would have assumed her burly compatriot capable of.The man, who you are having serious trouble not identifying as a muscle sage of some sort, clears his throat in her direction, and she attempts to gather herself.(1/2)
>>24100805" *Ahem* I mean, how can I be helping you, sir? Welcome to Donner's Tavern, the friendliest place in fifty miles of Origin though you may think it a bit pretentious to still claim that now that we have a corpse for a owner, eh?"Another look from the barman, this one incredulous. You half expected his glasses to fall off his nose." Oh, shit, that wasn't funny, I am so sorry."She looks up to the ceiling, and you begin to seriously wonder if working in a Tavern naturally drives you insane." Sorry Donny, you know I care!"The man has had enough, he clears his throat again, at you this time." If you will do me the immeasurable kindness of ignoring my most impertinent companion, I welcome you to the Tavern formerly known as Donner's. I am Martellus, the Orc in the guise of a beautiful woman is Sif, and you are a valued guest and welcome to order a drink. Unfortunately our cook died with our owner, as he was our owner, so you'll have to go elsewhere to eat. Feel free to take a seat. I am sure we can clear some room"You suppose he can manage, there is not another soul in the building, after all.(2/2)
>>24100915There goes that plan out the window...Propose the samething to these too but at a lower rate a bartender and wench can be found anywhere. We have a big space offering our employees to live there is important seeing as we arent near anythingAlso this bitch is an orc, give her a lower rate and ask her to be our bodyguard for the time being
>>24100915It is exceedingly late here, gentlemen, so I will call it a night here. The thread is archived for your viewing pleasure, please upvote if you enjoyed yourself playing as much as I did running this quest.Tavern Quest will return in exactly one week, next Saturday at 5pm Eastern time, and will run until I end it. I hope to see you all there, and I promise we may even have a tavern by the end of it!
>>24100993For the record, she is not an Orc, it was a turn of phrase. As far as Tallius can tell, she is a rather attractive redheaded barmaid with the inexplicable strength to send several hundred pound tables across the taproom, and with the social subtlety and tact of a battleaxe to the dick.
>>24100995See yah there!
>>24100995Thanks for running this and see ya in one week!Now I have to say this presents a golden opportunity for information gathering.