Magic: the Gathering is the only game I know of where it takes three average men to kill a horseshoe crab and you lose one in the process.
>>23616931try it in the game of real life you will die i guarantee
Horseshoe crabs are pretty fucking badass, dude.
The average zombie and the average horseshoe crab are so evenly matched that one cannot destroy the other.
>>23617052Should've said bear.
>>23617052The same is true of bears.
>>236169313.5 it takes more than 3 commoners to kill a horseshoe crab
>>23617097>>23617102A fucking BEAR can't kill a horseshoe crab!
Average squirrel and man are evenly matched.
>>236171442 bears actually
Apparently two little girls can kill the average rank and file soldier.
>>23617052>black getting bears without drawbacksFUCKING POWERCREEP
As long as it has access to blue mana, a horseshoe crab cannot be assassinated.
>>23617179Now I want to see a documentary about the crab.Like: "The horseshoe crab has the extraordinary ability to be nearly impossible to assassinate."
A porcelain doll with a pair of scissors can survive being eaten by a world consuming pseudo-deity, and actually has even odds of killing it in the process.
Richard Garfield cannot defeat a horseshoe crab in single combat.
>>23617144Unless it's a RIVER BEAR!
eight squirrels set against an entire crash of rhinos will leave no survivors.
Horseshoe crabs can survive a village fire that would kill every human living in it.
>>23617268Fucking bears, what can't they do?
>>23617268But it'd take some very odd circumstances for a River Bear to come across a Horseshoe Crab.Something would have to destroy the Crab's natural habitat.
A giant spider can't kill a horseshoe crab, and neither can its shadow.
>>23617321Gentleman, we have a solution.Bring in the moss.
>>23617321>implying the River Bear didn't destroy the habitat to draw out the Horseshoe Crab
Got a crab problem? Get in touch with glorious New Phyrexia! We'll make sure to deal with your problem as quickly and efficiently as possible!
>>23617282Why 8? A mere 4 squirrels will kill them.
>>23617282Four squirrels would do it.
>>23617372>Implying the Horseshoe Crab wasn't prepared to give up everything to stop his nemesis.
>>23617368that card at first glance looks brokenthen you realize how many bs dual lands there are
Thalia would be killed is she ever entered combat with a horseshoe crab.
>>23617424What?Dual lands makes that spell better, although you're missing the fact that it's a terrible card since it will almost always be too narrow to do anything.
>>23617405there were no survivors
A mighty ogre can kill a horseshoe crab, but will die in the process.
>>23617440If this cat could evade her first strike, it would murder the hell out of her.
>>23617474>Reckless Brute>RecklessHe probably tripped over it and broke his neck.
>>23616931dies to removal
Should we consider that the (Horseshoe) crabs of Magic are fucking enormous? Most other crabs are between the size of cars to the size of houses.And as for squirrels, have you seen the little fucks? They go straight for the eyes.
If a Horseshoe Crab were ever forced to fight a entire regiment of Cavalry in a arena or other pitched battle, it would win.
>>23617510It takes an entire lightning bolt to kill a horseshoe grab.
>>23617526A horsehoue crab would be defeated by Lu Bu, finest warrior of all China, however he would greatly injure Lu Bu.Xiahou Dun, one of the finest swordman of the age wouldn't be able to even make a dent to the crab.
>>23617525Not according to Squee.>citing Squee
This motherfucker can't kill it, but it can make dudes that can
>>23617526they can't fight, horseshoe crab doesn't ride a horse. lern 3 horsemanship
The most exemplar of knights cannot kill a simple crab.
Veteran minotaur warrior must sacrifice themselves to kill a single horseshoe crab.
Political violence indeed!
A small cloud of hornets can utterly destroy a Blightsteel Colossus.
>>23617546A lesser red mage would have no hope of destroying such a horseshoe crab.
This thread makes me want to make a themed bear deck
>>23617611>implying your puny effects could penetrate the horseshoe crabs mighty (and secret) hexproof
A horseshoe crab can withstand as much damage as a large golem.
>>23617211Times have changed boyo
>>23617612Or have two friends.
>>23617662>a 2/2 for 1 with no relevant drawbacksCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
This man would die against a crab's unbelievable assault, but his sacrifice could possibly inspire his allies to fight against the crab menace.
Hey what's going on in this thread?>>23617611>>23617614Fuck this shit, I'm out!
>>23617615> IndestructibleAre you sure about that?
There is a chance, if he was rich enough, a cheating politician could kill it and live to tell the tale.
A normal shark cannot kill a horseshoe crab.
>>23617682Comprehensive rules:"510.2. Second, all combat damage that's been assigned is dealt simultaneously. This turn-based action doesn't use the stack. No player has the chance to cast spells or activate abilities between the time combat damage is assigned and the time it's dealt."The -1/-1 counters are dealt to the Hornets at the same time as 11 (or more) damage is dealt to the Colossus. After damage is dealt, the Colossus dies, as well as every Hornet token that was assigned at least 1 point of damage (which is dealt as -1/-1 counters). So actually, 11 Hornets *could* eradicate a Blightsteel Colossus by group blocking it, though they'd obviously all die as a result unless the attacking player assigned more than the necessary lethal damage to some of them for whatever reason.
>>23617904That's what you get for being a pussy shark!
>>23617939blightsteel colosus is indestructable
>>23617954Forgot my image.
>>23617939I'll take "indestructible" for 500.
>off-topicWhich card would you guys say is superior, Clone or Cryptoplasm?
If Captain Sisay were forced to fight horseshoe crabs, she could stave off (but not kill) one, but would be killed by two.
I approve of this crab's reign of blood and terror. Please keep throwing yourselves to your crabby death.
If Squee tried to open a horseshoe crab, he would die.
>>23617394>>23617395four squirrels leaves one grievously wounded rhino alive long enough to attack their master. 8 results in complete devastation.also, multiple rhinos are actually easier to kill in a crush than they would be one at a time.
>>23618090But then quickly get back up to try again.
>>23618090for a little while.
If Squee and Captain Sisay worked together to open a horseshoe crab, Squee would still die.
Magic the Gathering id the only game I know of where teaching a Horseshoe Crab to use magic with Hermetic Study results in world-ending destruction.
>>23618075Not if you're careful. There was a reason it was around 20 dollars while it was in standard and why clone isn't worth a dollar.
>>23618136>implying prices don't work by rarity
>>23618090Stay down, you fucking prick
>>23618159>Implying there aren't dollar mythic rares
>>23618075youre an idiot
>>23618159>Implying prices aren't chosen because of use in Pro Tour or any official MtG tournament.Phantasmal Image is better because you don't use a clone card for long term gaming. You use it for a turn or two like Snapcaster. At 2 cmc, Phantasmal Image is better. .
So, bears.How effective is Bearscape for general casual play?
>>23618243They should really print a Grim Bearmancer.
Don't fuck with crabs man.They'll kill you.
>>23618077>>23618163This is my new favorite personification of a Magic card ever. Bravo, sir.
If you give a Crab a Robot, it will ask for world domination.
>>23618294>Adaptive AutomatonI know what's going into my EDH sliver deck.
Brass Herald too.
Guys I taught a Horseshoe Crab psionics... was this a bad thing?
>>23618325I got a friend who runs Esper control, another with mono-red tribal goblins, and another with mono-black tribal vampires, Slivers are my only hope.
>>23617241this card + flingor even sundial of the infinite is god
>>23618336Changelngs too. Too many to post here.http://www.cardkingdom.com/search/mtg>search changeling>4chan hates tinyurls that help with fuckhuge urls
It takes two little girls to take down a master pit fighter. Three, if he gets the drop on them.
Horseshoe Crabs vs. KoboldsIN THE VIETNAM WARWho wins?
>>23617939Hornets don't have wither or infect, so they don't deal damage in the form of -1/-1 counters. Instead, they mark damage on creatures. If Hornets dealt damage in the form of -1/-1 counters, then yes, they could kill a Blightsteel.
>>23617052>>23617097>>23617218>>23617284>>23617390>>23617440>>23617474>>23617526>>23617546The King approves
>>23618351>2013>not just using torpor orb
Goblin Gaveleer could kill a horseshoe crab with a rusty butterknife but would quickly succumb to his wounds and die.
It is possible for other creatures to become crude imitations of horseshoe crabs.
>>23618497>1 mana>1/1 creature with two abilities and no downside>commonBoy, power creep really is a thing, isn't it?
>>23618635What is the point of these ridiculously expensive untap costs? How is this suppose to be useful outside of very rare cases?
>>23618650On a 1/1, trample is pretty irrelevant. So really it's like it just has one circumstantial ability. Otherwise it's a 1/1. Not all that powerful.
>>23618650Consider how shit creatures used to be. all that's going on is WotC is making creatures relevant.And besides, none of those abilities are relevant before turn 2, anyway. And at that point, it's only slightly better than hellspark elemental, and you need 2 cards for it work.
>>23618650Considering Legacy is still dominated by older cards...it really isn't.
If equipped with a quicksilver dagger, a horseshoe crab can kill humans from a distance and learn the secrets of the universe given a supply of blue mana.
>>23618339You fool...You've doomed us all!
>>23618691it isn't supposed to be super usefulgives a creature vigilance if you have the extra mana though
Fucking horsehoe crabs, man.They'll murder your family.
>>23618339the bears are doomed
Oh god I'm just imagining a horseshoe crab leaping onto peoples faces like the monty python rabbit.
>>23618772If that card gave straight vigilance, it would still be horrible and at lower rarity.
>>23618807Actually, the bears will be fine, it's us humans who are doomed. The crabs will kill us off one by one and a more hearty species, perhaps even the bears, will take our place.
>>23618777These are much larger than I had previously assumed.
>>23618777I refuse to believe this isn't shopped
>>23618873 I've seen the beasts in person, but never that big, they are normally about the size of a king crab.
>>23618777What. Is this the size of a real horseshoe crab? They don't live in my country.
>>23618873>>23618897>>23618915I live in an area with a lot of salt ponds (And thus, horseshoe crabs)I've never seen one larger than a dinner plate.They're cute little fuckers.
>look up some info on Horseshoe crabs>their blood is blue>they have two compound eyes and 7 simple eyes, two of which are on their underside
>>23618873Oh, those are fake. They're sculptures by some cunt in New Jersey.Crabs that big haven't been around for a LONG time; crustaceans like that were around before dinosaurs. Seriously, horseshoe crabs don't even have hemoglobin. THEY WERE AROUND BEFORE HEMOGLOBIN.
>>23618966The shit that carries oxygen? Or did I fail biology?
>>23618985It's one of the shits that carries oxygen, yes.As >>23618955 points out, their blood is blue. They have some copper-based oxygen carrier, I forget it's name.
Horseshoe crabs are actually pretty strong. A real one would be flexing it's tail to try and shake itself loose, and I doubt that girl could overpower a horseshoe crab that big.
>>23619014Don't get excited, it's fake. Some New Jersey "artiste" decided to make horseshoe crab sculptures and leave them around.
>>23619008Hemocyanin, apparently. It's in a lot of molluscs and anthropods.
>>23619037That's why I said "a real one"i know that one isn't real.
>>23618691untaps are very abusable and plenty of mana generators exist that untaps could lead to severe combos.
>>23619049he's talking about the second "it's" I think
>>23619049He had two "it's" the second one was wrong.
>>23619053Isn't there some pretty impressive medical uses for horseshoe blood?
>>23619053Yeah, that's the stuff. Has anyone tried horseshoe crab? Just being adventurous, you know.I'd imagine they'd taste like salty crab.
>>23619068Supposedly it helps against bladder and prostate cancers
>>23619068Well, Google had this to say:"An extract of the horseshoe crab's blood is used by the pharmaceutical and medical device industries to ensure that their products, e.g., intravenous drugs, vaccines, and medical devices, are free of bacterial contamination. No other test works as easily or reliably for this purpose."Horseshoe crabs are clean as a whistle, apparently. Their blood keeps your injections bacteria free.
>>23619070I'm pretty sure they'd taste like coppery seafood.
By giving the crab some land clams can kill the beast.
>>23618347That's the wrong approach to slivers EDH. Adaptive Automaton is just a Sinew Sliver. Just run a fucking Sinew Sliver.The combo you want in Slivers, the combo that will win you games -- at least every once in a while -- is as follows:You see this card I've posted? You want it, and its brother, Heartstone. From here, you want the following:Sliver QueenBasal SliverHeart SliverWith one mana, you can now make a sliver with the queen, pop it thanks to the basal, and get two mana, which can then be made into two slivers, which can explode into four mana, etc etc etc.You now have an arbitrarily large pile of 1/1 slivers, enough to slaughter everyone unless someone fogs or something.Heart Sliver (or Reflex, either one) gives all your slivers haste, so your arbitrarily large pile of slivers can all attack without any further delay.For bonus points, get a Gemhide Sliver and a Sliver Overlord in play. You can now make infinite slivers that all tap for mana of any color you choose and tutor any sliver in your deck (which you will immediately be able to cast, of course).And if an opponent tries to kill the queen or something while all this is going down, the beauty of the stack kicks in: you can make the same number of slivers in response to the kill spell.Tutor and cast every sliver in your deck, including such marvels as Sliver Legion. Your slivers now all have +X/+X, where X is the number of other slivers in play. Which is practically infinite.
>>23619130Mmm...copper.Hey, what about horseshoe crab blood cocktails? Blue color, coppery finish, anti-bacterial, winner winner chicken dinner.
Elfs have a half chance of killing the crab, but dies once every six times.
>>23617939I counter this with Indestructible
>>23619158... But you only get one sliver per two mana. Unless you also need Training Grounds out. That being the least exciting combo enabler of all time.
>>23619232Training Grounds or Heartstone. I mentioned it near the beginning of the combo.You can also accomplish this combo with the Gemhide instead of the Training Grounds if you want to be a tool about it. Every sliver that is born can tap to float mana, then explode to make a new sliver that will tap to float mana, etc. In this way you repeatedly create and destroy one sliver, float an arbitrary quantity of mana, then make half that many slivers. You can repeat the process as much as you like.The point here is to fill the entire plane with writhing sliver flesh and kill everything by doing so.
>>23617252Yes he can.>Play Richard Garfield>Activate effect to treat him like a creature with more than 2/2>kill Horseshoe Crab
>>23619313Actually he lets you play cards as if they were other cards, not treat those in play as if they were different. When you cast a spell while he's in play you can reveal it and name a card with the same mana cost to replace it.>Arguing about Unhinged rulings
A couple of soldiers with halberds make sort work of the crab menace.It's a good thing my deck has four of them.
Not even the majestic lion is any match for the biological fortress that is the horseshoe crab.
>>23618650remember that alpha had black lotus.
>>23621439Alpha is never gonna live that down, is it? I mean, a guy has free mana and no downsides and people never get off his back ever again! Can't a guy just get forgiven?
>>23618777k guys, this is fake. The average length of a horshoe crab is about 1 foot. They live all up and down the north atlantic coast, especially around New England. As a local to that area, I have seen and handled a number of them. They are pretty radical but not that large. I'd give them 3 toughness for being cool as fuck though.
>>23618650was printed in a set that had gutshot
>>23619372i prefer inquisitorsvigilance and first strike is good.and attacking into huntmasters and not careing rocks
>>23619102copper has antimoicrobial properties
>>23617368Is this intentionally a Firefly reference?
>>23616931I give you crabs!
>>23618650That card isn't even good. You can't measure power level in something as simple as number of abilities per mana paid.
>>23618159They are both rares?
>>23618862It's got totem armor. It saves one dude. That is good enough for uncommon in limited.
>>23617614>7CMC Mana DorkI'm so glad I didn't start playing until 97
Isn't the crab thing just like in Atlantasia?
>>23617390>Got a crab problem?I can't be the only person who read that in the context of the thread first, then read it as "lol, got crabs?".
>>23624807a 7cmc mana dork that's also legendary.