You were a 30 year old awkward lonely overweight virgin neckbeard who lived in his mother's basement. You were granted the unusual birthday present of being turned into a petite female elven bard and dropped naked in the middle of a forest. You and the gentle orc ranger, Jack Carson, became traveling partners and recently lovers after he rescued you from the wilderness.After being kidnapped by wild elves, your guard, Varaia, helped you escape, banishing herself in the process. After tenuous bickering, she joined you and Jack in your travels.You all boarded a train bound for Newport; two weeks in, you were shot when you foiled a train robbery. You were resuscitated, and some weeks later a team of robbers used explosives to derail the train, wanting to get the money it was carrying. You managed to help fight them off, then rode out into the desert to try to get to Newport and get reinforcements before the robbers come back for a fresh assault and overwhelm the train's meager defenses.It's late morning, you're still figuring out this 'riding a horse' thing, and Newport is about two days away, by horse, unless you want to push it hard and risk running it to death before you arrive.What's your strategy for this ride?>sorry about no thread yesterday>family issues
First, welcome back, MP.We don't know enough about riding, and I guess it would be hard to buy a new horse, and even harder to get someone to borrow us theirs. I think we should ride, take a break now and then and just not try to fuck up the horse.
>you're in the desert, nearly to Newport
>>22753651It seems the rail company is too skimpy on security. Make a note to avoid using their services in future.What were our tranny's specialisations in magic again? Illusion and enchantment? I don't suppose we have any idea how to enhance our horse's running capacity or endurance?
>>22753651>>22753671Yay, thread's back! Hope everything is ok with you, OP.Also I agree with this guy - just try to make it to town at a steady pace. Time is of the essence, but if we lose the horse we're SOL.
>>22753722>Hope everything is ok with you, OP.>someone was giving birth>the situation kept me busy
>>22753651sing spur the horse on faster and longer than it should be able to goat the same time a illusion a heat shimmer from behind us and at our sides
>>22753710Freeform, illusion and enchantment and we can use bard song to influence our opponents. IIRC, Jack, the orc is interested in learning healing magic, or white necromancy in this world.Varaia, the wild elf... huh... I think she does not know a shit on magic.>>22753745Congratulations?
>>22753765We are alone though. Jack remained behind with wounded Varaia.Can we make it off the desert before sunset? I imagine it would be easier to make inconspiuous camp among vegetation.
>>22753799>Can we make it off the desert before sunset?>you might be able to, if you push the horse a little hard; not enough to run a risk of running it to death, but quite a bit faster than would be comfortable for the length of the run for the animal
>>22753745Hey, I didn't know - you just said family issues. Could literally be anything - druggy/drunk family member, someone died, someone is sick, someone went to jail, someone's house burned down, all kinds of stuff.S-sorry for caring... baka.
You urge the horse on - fast, but not fast enough to risk running it to death, you hope. Early morning turns into late afternoon. The sun is hot, and your groin and the inside of your thighs are starting to get sore from riding the horse for so long. Still, you push onwards, hoping to get to the edge of the desert, or at least further along, before you stop to take a rest tonight.Then you notice something with your elf eyes. Out near the horizon, well behind you, you can see the silhouette of what you're pretty sure is a man on a horse. They're far out, and it takes you a few minutes of checking before you're reasonably sure - he's getting slowly closer, closing the distance between you two. You're not sure how long you have before he catches up to you at your current speed.What do you do?>>22753889>sorry if I seemed upset>I was just trying to explain what happened, so that you guys would know it was resolved and everyone was okay>I appreciate the concern
>>22753922Is there some semblance of hiding spot within sight? If so, go there and blanket yourself and the horse with a camo field.Clearly we can't hope of outrunning an experienced rider and not risk our beast.Let's hope they don't have too good sense of smell. Or magic.
>>22753922use Illusion to create a lenses effect and try and get a better look at him if not make us hazy and smaller like we are farther away than we are
>>22753922Is a single man?I would say we should try to come close and look if he looks friendly or not. We have some guns, a healthy horse (I expect) and in the middle of the desert, is unlikely he have not spot us.We have no time trying to walk around.
>>22754023That would seem extremely suspicious and attract attention.If they're not an elf, they probably can't see us anyway.
>I'm going to need to ask you guys to roll for your choices as a tied breaker since nobody seems to have the same idea on what to do
Rolled 78>>22754041Rolling for this.
Rolled 14>>22753922Get ready for a fight, but keep on riding, and keep an eye on the stranger. We don't have time to stop, and they'll see anything we try to do, to hide from them.
>>22754385we're an elf. Surely we have advantage of early warning.
>>22753922Slow down a bit so we can check who he is. If he looks like a bandit, we can illusion being another one of the bandits to trick him.
Rolled 61>>22753922Wait to see who it is, use illusion to offset our image so that it appears a few feet off.
>>22754463This one. REALLY don't want to get shot again.
You slow down a bit. You want to get a bit closer to see who it is that's following you. This is a bit hard because, as it is late afternoon and you're riding east; the sun is just a bit above him and making it hard to pick out details. As you start getting closer - only a couple of miles away, you strafe with the horse to try to get a better angle to see him.From what you can make out, he's a grizzled-looking human with a straw cowboy hat, a brown leather duster, and some kind of longarm hanging from his saddle. He has a big bag, too, slung across his back; you're not sure what's in there. To be safe, you pull up a decent illusion of yourself riding the horse a few meters to your right while cloaking yourself and your horse. It's taxing, but the next few minutes could be critical, or at least that's what you fear.You see the man on the horse start strafing towards you; it looks like he's tracking you by the nicely-visible trail your horse is leaving in the sand. That or you're close enough that he can actually see you, but you're not sure if you're close enough for any but the keenest human eyes to see.What do you do now?
>>22754711was he among the raiders?I suppose by this point our only option is to close up on him, and if he makes any hostile action against our displaced illusion, take him out.
>>22754711If he shoots out, we should make an illusion of us falling. While he's close and doing whatever to loot our bodies, we should fire a round into his forehead safely, and take his loot.After we take care of him, we should take both horses (using some rope to keep both of them) and keep on going.
>>22754711>You slow down a bit. You want to get a bit closer to see who it is that's following you. This is a bit hard because, as it is late afternoon and you're riding east; the sun is just a bit above him and making it hard to pick out details. As you start getting closer - only a couple of miles away, you strafe with the horse to try to get a better angle to see him.>From what you can make out, he's a grizzled-looking human with a straw cowboy hat, a brown leather duster, and some kind of longarm hanging from his saddle. He has a big bag, too, slung across his back; you're not sure what's in there. To be safe, you pull up a decent illusion of yourself riding the horse a few meters to your right while cloaking yourself and your horse. It's taxing, but the next few minutes could be critical, or at least that's what you fear.>You see the man on the horse start strafing towards you; it looks like he's tracking you by the nicely-visible trail your horse is leaving in the sand. That or you're close enough that he can actually see you, but you're not sure if you're close enough for any but the keenest human eyes to see.>What do you do now?illusion our tracks and build tracks behind the illusion then call out to him
>>22754711Pull out the gun, point at him and force to dismount the horse. Ask nicely why he is searching for us, warn him there are bandits out there and go ahead, not paying attention to him.
Well we've got a horse we're no good at riding, so running and hiding are both out.Invisibilty is tricky and this would be a super-bad time to pass out, so lets get this over with quick and have the illusion call out to the guy. Going to be really upset if I have to shoot someone else in the face....
Rolled 5Don't call out to him, just pretend we don't notice him. It's easier to tell someone's intentions by their actions than their words.
Rolled 33>>22754877Nevermind on this, if he's following our actual tracks than waiting will probably kill us.
>>22754877I support what this guy says, and I'm glad that he said it. It'd be so much easier to see what he does to us first.
>>22754923No, the thing is that we can make it look like the tracks are actually a few meters to the right as well.If you think that will probably kill us, then why don't you go for a killing blow first?
Rolled 65Even easier to tell someone's intentions you can get them to act before you're mentally exhausted.
You close the distance further, until you and the man following you are within shouting distance of each other. Once you are, he slows down to keep pace with you and calls out, "Ma'am! Ma'am, I'm here to talk."You listen."Now, I've been sent to stop you from reaching Newport in time to call up reinforcements for those rail marshals guarding the railroad's pay money. We can do this one of two ways - either you accept this bribe I've got in my bag and we camp out for a few days to make sure you aren't going anywhere, or things get violent. I'll try to shoot your horse out from under you, but I can't promise you won't be hurt in the fall or shot by me in the process," he says. You realize he's talking to your illusion. "So, what will it be, the easy way, or the way that ends in tears?"What's your response?
>>22755033Have illusion ignore him. As he walks up to kill, we cap 'im. Preferably saying something like "Boo."
Rolled 42>>22755033Make the illusion run off ahead, angled away from us.Keep riding on, while invisible.
>>22755033What kind of weapon is he packing? If it has a lever or needs to be cocked in any way, we can trick him into firing at the illusion, then firing off at his face a couple of times while he's getting ready for another shot.Sounds a little bit rash, but the thing is, the first time these guys were packing heat and shooting people up, we weren't even doing anything. They're dangerous, and there's no way of telling he won't try to kill us in the middle of the night.>>22755077Last time we got shot, we already had a bullet in the guy, and I think it'd be worse if we got his attention first.
Rolled 36>>22755033Throw our voice, "No can do, Hoss. I got a friend who needs medical attention on that train, and letting you violent fucks take it could put her in danger."Illusionary fire hurts right? Either that or enchant the horse to force it to sprint in the opposite direction.
Rolled 70Genius! Enchant the horse!Yeah, its a stopgap, but once night falls our elf-senses have got to give the advantage. Also, sorry for being a pussy, but really don't want to have to shoot the guy in cold blood.
>>22755107>Throw our voice, "No can do, Hoss. I got a friend who needs medical attention on that train, and letting you violent fucks take it could put her in danger."This, though add: "Sorry if you have designs on that train, but I am looking after my own first and foremost. Ride on out of here like we never met, and we can till end the day nice and easy"
>>22755178Seariously start it bucking off in the opposite direction, he won't be able to get a shot off and if he ditches the horse we just turn it around and have it attack him while we ride off into the sunset.
>>22755107>>22755107>enchant the horseBut, I will try to drop the rider so we can have a shot on him. Preferably to disable him, rather than kill, but whatever.
>>22755243>>22755178These bandits have done ridiculous things and killed innocents just because they fell they're getting shorted. They've killed people just because of the convenience, and you still think we should be merciful to them? Do you remember why you were pronounced dead for 4 minutes?
>>22755273>ridiculous thingsTossing some dynamite onto a train track to derail a train isn't actually as ridiculous as it seems. Really efficient method of solving a problem, really. Standard adventurer-style solution.
>>22755273What do you think Jack would say?Ugh. Never a bear around when you need one.
>>22755273I did not said anything about mercy. I want information. And if needed, we can just ditch him to die at the desert.Also, think about Jack!
>>22755297That's not the point. The point is that people who have nothing to do with the railroad workers' problems have died because these bandits want money. They killed people...for money. You're actually actively trying to work against them. What is he more likely to do, be a happy little camper and give you a bag full of money, or kill you?
>>22755346Yeah, he's clearly not going to give me the money, I'm not that dumb. I'm just not sure I can shoot a *person* and just walk off whistling.
You answer by tossing an enchantment more-than-solid-enough on his horse and urging yours forward. The enchantment makes the horse rear and buck until the rider is tossed free, then flee off in the opposite direction. The rider must have pulled his gun out of its holster mid-fall, because he lands in a roll and fires off three shots in quick succession with what you now realize is a pump-action shotgun. Two of the shots actually have a couple of pellets clip your illusion - shit, he's good.You have your illusion slump a bit in the saddle; hopefully, if he can see that, he'll think you're wounded and underestimate you if he catches up again.Still, you're out of range at that point, and your elf ears can pick up the sound of him cursing loudly. He's either going to have to go find his horse or try to follow you on foot. Either way, that little stunt just bought you some time, and maybe even a bit of an advantage if he keeps coming for you. You ride on over a small hill that should at least block his view of you, then drop the illusion to keep yourself from getting too drained.You still have a long way to go.What now?
>>22755033shoot him then say no
Suck more orc dick.
>>22755439Keep riding, can't stop now, stop in a bit to give the horse.some water, but if can keep going through the night then we might be able to get there faster.
>>22755484Now's not the time, libido.
>>22755439We are out of sight, but our real horse should have left some trails. We clean them with some minor magic, or if possible, use more magic to miss-direct it into a random direction.
>>22755439Keep on riding pretty hard, so that we can get to the city on time...We need to get some help as soon as possible. Make a check with your elven ears to see if you can hear anything, because for all we know, there could be reinforcements backing him up.
>>22755484We would, but he's almost a day's ride back the way we came.
>>22755508Yeah, its not that imaginative after the last thing, but we've gotta get while the getting's good. This probably counts as a vote for "ride horse to death", but at least tripping isn't that likely in the frikkin' desert.
>>22755585I agree with this anon, we don't really have a lot of options except riding to town as quickly as we can.Aside from perception and a few breaks to stop for water, we can't do much.
You use a simple bit of utility magic to blast away the trail you're leaving in the sand behind you. You do this for a few miles, just to be sure. If that guy can keep tracking you after that, it should at least be damn hard on him. You keep riding for a few more hours until the sun's set. The landscape around you has been gradually shifting from desert to light forests and open fields over the course of the past hour.Your horse is breathing hard and trying to slow down when you're not urging it forward. You could keep trying to ride it through the night, but you're not sure if the horse could make it, or whether or not you'll be able to get to Newport on foot fast enough to save the train if you have to continue on foot.You stop at a small stream to let your horse have a nice, long drink. You take the opportunity to refill your canteen too. You could stop and let the horse rest for a few hours and hope that the guy chasing you doesn't catch up, or you could keep riding it hard and hope that it can handle what's left.What do you do?
>>22755766Continue riding, but back off a bit. Need to keep moving.
>>22755766Thanks for the trail-blasting freebee MP!Could we just walk the horse for a few hours until it seems less totally knackered? Too damn sore from all that riding anyway.
>>22755766Let it rest, no poi.t in killing the horse.if we have.to.jog the last quarter of the way.
>>22755801This. We still need to have the speed of a horse, but we shouldn't be killing it. They'll probably have their own horses, or magic, to get to the rail on time once we get to newport.
>>22755766give it a break let it drink its fill and rest 20 minutes then keep a steady pace and move no rest for the wicked
>>22755879Q's got the right idea. We've outpaced our man by far. We can give the hour a solid half an hour to rest, then get moving again.
>>22755879wait, this is an evil horse??
>>22755935I think we're refering to the more-than-implied homosex. Homosex is wicked. So, we get no rest...If you know what I mean.
>>22755935>no rest for the wickedis a figure of speech.Although the horse did belong to a raider, I doubt it had any choice in the matter.
>>2275600Nice trips. Also, we got it. That was the joke.
>>22756030Well maybe we should cast Detect Evil - or have practice it on it upon his induction to paladin order - if the horse is still with us. Never hurts to be sure.
>>22756134have Jack practice*
>>22756134That joke has more than run its course.
You give your horse a half-hour to rest, then climb back on to it and start riding again. You ride slower now - the ground has roots and other things that the horse could trip on, and the horse needs a rest anyway. You hope that your little stunt with your trail earlier was enough to throw your tail off.For a few hours, you think it was. Then your elf ears pick up something in the distance behind you. The sound of a horse galloping in the distance, moving closer. The trees are thick enough that you can't actually see that far behind you, so you can't be sure that it's the man who was chasing you, and also can't be sure that it's not.Your horse has recovered a bit, but it's still clearly very tired from the ride you've already been giving it today. It might not be able to outrun the horse closing on you, even if you pushed it hard.You're going to have to make a decision on how to handle this.What do you do now?
Well, while we're carrying on at whatever speed wins the vote, at least we can hum to ourself and reflect on how we miss internet puns.
>>22756186Use your elven senses to hide in a convincing place after tying the horse up. This time, we definitely need to shoot the man if it's the same person, or else wait and see who they are by their actions. Have our pistol ready.
>>22756186Cast "Hide"Prep the pistol.
>>22756232This. Can't roll from phone, but this.
>>22756232>>22756251Goddamn it anon, why you gots to be so right?
>>22756186Put up an illusory thicket, keep a look out for the thing. Prep our pistol.
Rolled 86>>22756257I'll do it for ya, pal. This is a d100 for a hide spell and tying up the horse.
>>22756186Hey illusion stimulates the senses, and a couple threads back you said magical fire still hurts. Can we do something along the lines of a magical stun gun?>>22756232Also I think stealth is a class skill for bards, hide then Fuck that doucher up.
You pull over and tie up your horse, then move a dozen meters away from it. You put an illusion around yourself and around your horse of bushes, then drop another illusion, this time of yourself resting next to your horse, a ways away, but in clear line of fire from your position. You draw the wand pistol that you had been given earlier today and prop it up on top of your forearm to keep it steady, then wait.You hear the horse following you slow and then stop about a hundred meters away, then barely hear someone sneaking towards your illusion of yourself. If you hadn't been specifically listening for it and hadn't had elf ears, you never would have noticed it. Finally, you see the man come into view - the same man as before. He opens fire on your illusion as soon as he can see it, blasting both the illusionary Nona and the illusionary horse. You have both topple over realistically, wanting to lure him even further into the open.You didn't account for the gunshots spooking your actual horse. It neighs loudly, and the man whirls around, trying to escape from what was no obviously a trap. You take the opportunity to fire a few shots off - shots that you had been aiming since he first stepped into your line of sight.Streaks of shimmering heat and concussive force streak out and slam into him, in his upper back, his lower back, his shoulder, and one of his legs. He goes down hard, and then stays down.What now?
>>22756428Walk up and finish him off, shot to the head. Then loot his corpse. When that's done, give him a honorable burial.
>>22756428We know from experience that when somebody takes a hit from one of those, they stay down...With 4? He's mostly likely dead. If he appears to be moving at all, finish him off with a plain revolver shot to the head. Take his weapon, ammunition, supplies, and money and try to ride his new horse, cutting the old one free.He had the pump-action shotgun, right? If Jack doesn't want it, it should sell for a pretty penny at a general store, or maybe we can find a dedicated gunsmith in Newport.
>>22756428Make sure he's dead. Then loot the body....what? We're adventurers!
Rule #2 Doubletap. Then loot the body like a good murderhobo... I mean pc and continue on.
To scare him off>>22756428Retrieve horse, leave.If he follows again, we play the tune of impliedanal rape to scare him off.
>>22756483>burialWe don't have time for that. More could be closing in on the trainwreck at this very moment.
>>22756492Unless he is wearing some kind of armor.I would shoot him again from distance... just to be sure. Fuck, in ultimate instance, use an illusion to feign we are walking next to him.
Its been said before, but BAMF.Yeah, doubletap before the adrenaline wears off, then make sure horse is calm before looting.
>>22756428Reload from cover, weapon cocked and leveled, approach. We are taking that cunt's shotgun!
Rolled 22If were going to kill him, we need to do it when wer e not close to him. He may be an extremely resilient bastard, and be trying to stay alive/awake just lung enough to take one good shot at us.Ping him in the head with our .357, then approach the corpse to loot/bury.
>>22756521Ooh, good plan!
>>22756483>>22756492>>22756501>>22756509consensus achieved: murderhobo mind
>>22756521This.No sense in taking chances. Under orders to stay alive this time.
>>22756521Honestly, I doubt that wand pistols would have been developed if four concussive blasts couldn't put a guy down with ease. Also, the other bandits went down with single shots at the train shoot-out, and I don't think this guy's any different.Of course, I still agree we should shoot his head with the .357. I'm just saying, I'm pretty sure that wand pistols are lethal. What's the word, though, Monkeypaw?
You take out your revolver to hold in your off hand, just in case, then start creeping towards him, trying to stay out of site. You intend to put a bullet in his head when you get close enough, just to be sure. It's good that you were this careful, too, because he starts groaning and stumbling to his feet after a few seconds, still clutching that shotgun.You fire off a few more shots with your wand pistol, a few shots with your .357, and then dash up just close enough to pop a bullet in his head from a distance. You get close and roll him over with your foot. Yeah, he's dead.You close his eyes and then take a good look at him.His clothes are mostly junk, but it looks like he's wearing some kind of breastplate under his duster. You took his clothes apart something fierce with the head and concussive shots from the wand gun, but it looks like it took the .357 to actually punch through, rather than dent, his armor. Good to know. His shotgun's pretty nice too.You go back and check his horse. He has quite a bit of spare ammunition - 12 gauge - and the bag he was carrying is on the ground next to the horse. You open it and find that it's mostly full of rocks, but there's about 1000 crowns lying on top of them - he was probably going to try to pass it off as tens of thousands.His horse looks to be in better condition than yours too. How about that.What now?>I'm going to be gone for the next hour or so
>>22756654Take his horse, weapon and money.>we could turn the money in to authorities - there should be some sort of bounty or at least finder's fee.>or we could hide it somewhere if we're confident of our ability to recover it later and the tax office does not keep tabs of the coinage too closelyMove onwards to the town. We still have a trainwreck to save.
>>22756654Get rid of the rocks, check to see if the bandit's horse is going to give us guff. If not, let our horse go, take his.
>>22756797We can sing to calm it down. However, we are not very sure how much effort the bandit put on this horse, we may end extenuate it to death.Still, I guess it is better ours than his.Can we do something about our horse? I don't want to let it lost in the middle of the forest. Can it come back on its own? Can it follow us? I mean, he will not carrying us anymore.
>>22756654We should take every useful bit of equipment he has, crowns, ammo, gun, breastplate, and satchel, and ride his horse. It seems to be much stronger.Since we're so concerned about the other horse, it can probably ride along with us, since it won't have any extra weight, at a reasonable pace.
>>22756654We shoot him on the head, then we shoot him one last time.Oh, we already confirmed is dead?Nevermind, we shoot him twice on the head anyway. Better safe than sorry.
>>22756654Does his horse look unique or noticeable in any way?We don't want his associates to notice we're on the guy's horse when we go to town.
we should take his head for proof of bounty. Or somesort of proof we killed him. We might need t for a bounty.
>>22757442Lets not spend too much time getting bounty. Our first goal is to get aid for our girl.
>>22757442We're already getting a thousand crowns from this mook we just shot up, and we'll probably receive a reward for helping the railroad company. We shouldn't waste anymore time on a bounty.
You ditch the rocks out of the money bag, stick his shotgun in it, and try to put his breast plate on. It's way too big for you and you think it would be a little stupid to wear it into melee fight, but it shouldn't affect your aim and will hopefully be better than nothing. You untie your first horse and hope that it can keep up, then climb onto the dead man's horse and start riding. You don't push too hard, since there's now hopefully nothing to flee, and you don't really want to just completely abandon your first horse.You ride on. It's late at night now, maybe early morning - you're not sure what. You're beginning to feel tired, being up so late. You've had enough experience wasting your life with MMO raids to know how to push yourself through the mental fatigue, but you would kill for a caffeinated drink right now.You're so busy thinking about how much you would like some mountain dew or a coffee that you almost miss the fact that you've come across a road. It's a simple thing, just paved with gravel, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a damn road. Looking around, you see a hand-painted wooden sign saying how far down the road Newport was - if you keep going at this pace, you'll arrive sometime in the mid to late morning.Then you notice something you hadn't expected. A pair of headlights bearing down the road in the distance, coming towards you, towards Newport. What do you do now?
>>22757727We should try to get down, out of view, maybe use illusions to hide ourselves if possible. We don't know who they are.Create an illusion of yourself, walking on the road, to interact with them, while making yourself and your horse invisible and getting a safe distance away. See what happens.
>>22757727Flag down the vehicle. See if we can hitch a ride.
>>22757801Was this, changing vote to this>>22757785
>>22757785we're gonna get real good at this decoy thing, aren't we?very handy, after all.
>>22757785Gotta be close enough to hear what's going on though.
>>22758147It's very dark out, right now. We could probably use our natural stealth to hide while we use the illusion to communicate, throwing our voice.
Let's not assume their friendly. They could be just as much enemies as the bandits. We -are- a young elven lass in a universe made from weeboo porn. Hitch hiking is asking for rape.
>>22758371Come now, first orc we've encountered has decided to become a paladin.
>>22758477Yes, but the next group could be looking to run a train on the next elf lass they see.
You decide to wrap yourself and your horse in a simple glamour - in this dark, it shouldn't be hard to conceal yourself. Then you toss out a second illusion - this time of yourself - to flag down what you hope is a car. As it gets close, you see it for what it is.It's a large, wooden carriage, a pair of crystalline globes glowing on the front and casting light out onto the road in front of it. It has no horses, and pulls quietly to a stop in front of you. Getting a close look, you see that the wood is old, dinged up, and patched shoddily with planks. Mist billows out around the thing.One of the doors near to the illusion of you pops open, and out leans a pot-bellied, balding, one-tusked orcish man. He squints to get a good look at your illusion in the darkness and says, "I say, missy, what you doin out on da side'a da road so late? Doncha know dere be wild elves and robbers out in da woods sometimes? Here, you climb on in and I give ya a ride back to town."You only now notice the unmistakable smell of marijuana; that wasn't mist around the thing, this is a fat old Jamaican-sounding orc hotboxing in a literal horseless carriage.What do you say? What do you do?
Say "Yeah ok" and smoke weed erry day
>>22758687Let it be?Let the illusion disappear, stand still and let the orc go away. I am afraid this guy may turn to be a pimp or something worse.
>>22758687"This is actually an illusion; we didn't know who you are at first, so we concealed, just to be safe. Let me show myself."Then we dispel the illusion and get in.We have to tell him that there's been a serious problem with the rail-way and we need to get into town as soon as possible.
>>22758687He seems harmless enough. Might as well take his offer. Keep the weapon close at hand though.
>>22758687We started off as a 30 year old fa/tg/uy virgin and end up as a petite elf girl riding around with a weed-smoking Orc in his horseless carriage trying to get help for a train wreck.Fuckin' /tg/... Why do I love you so much?
>>22758768Ask him to drive with haste as we have folks waiting on our return. Hitch the horses to the sign for our return. And grab our shit.
>>22758907>train wreckOh, shit, I only just got the metaphor! We were being railroaded, then there was a derailment that turned the quest into a train wreck! I get it now!
I don't think we should get in with him and if we do keep our gun on hand.
>>22759017Not really, I just didn't realize I could have said "wrecked train" instead.
>>22758907>petite elf girlExcuse me, sir, but we are a petite elf WOMAN.
>>22759069>Excuse me, sir, but we are a petite elf WOMAN.>Not an elf loli.sadfrog.gif
Rolled 3Make the illusion tell him we need to go to Newport ASAP. It's an emergency. If he doesn't want to, or says he cant, just let the illusion fade away. He'll just blame the weed and drive off.Then we continue on our path.
>>22759186>rolled 3I'll just go sit in the corner...
Rolled 59>>22759186I think this is a good idea. I a rolling in your name.
Rolled 33>>22759186I like this.
You accept. Hesitantly. You drop your illusion and step out, which takes him a minute to process. "Dat's some fine magic!" he says, a lopsided grin covering his face."Uh, yeah. Thanks. I was using it just to be safe," you say. You hitch your horses to a tree on the roadside, then grab the bag from the back of the horse you had been riding. You decide you'll keep your hand by your gun just in case - no knowing who this guy actually is."Listen, I need to get to Newport as fast as possible. A train's been attacked and derailed and the marshals there need reinforcements before they're attacked again," you say, settling in. The seats are cracked leather, and the front seat where the orc is now sitting is not dissimilar from that of a car, wheel and all.The orc lets out a long breath and says, "Ain't dat a hell of a thing. Okay, I'll just open da windows up to clear out da smoke. Gonna need a clear head for dis."He floors it and you hear the sound of a team of horses neighing and galloping. You're guessing the carriage propels itself with some kind of modified phantom steed spell; it has literal horsepower. At the speed this thing is going down this back country road, you should be there by sunrise."Mah name's Earl, little girly," he says, leaning back and smiling at you. "Nice tah meet ya."
>in case you weren't here for the first thread, I run this democratically>whatever the most people want, that's what's done>rolls are only ever used to break ties
>>22759256"Nice to meet you Earl, I'm Nona." with a smile on our face.>>22759258Ignore.
>>22759256"Nice to meet you, Earl. What brings you to Newport?"
Rolled 36>>22759256"Would you mind to move this faster?"Also, our horses are gone? D:
>>22759256"Well met, Earl. I am Nona."
Nice to meet you Earl. Name's Nona. But, let us be off, we have a train to save.
>>22759256>"Nice to meet you Earl, I'm Nona.so were do you get smoke like that in new Newport? smells good
>>22759256Wait a second....Is marijuana accepted in this setting? We could be riding with a supposed criminal, and his orc status doesn't help.
"Nona," you say, affording him a smile. "So, what are you headed in to Newport for? And, uh, where did you get whatever you were just smoking?""Ah grown it myself, of course," he says proudly. "Have a little farm up north. Beautiful, fields overflowing with the herb. I be heading into town to sell a load of it off ta me cousin. What the dwarves don't know won't hurt them, am I right? I'll drop you off first, though - sounds like you got a bit more urgent stuff than me."So he's a drug runner. A drug runner running drugs that the dwarven authority of Newport doesn't necessarily approve of. Great. You hope he doesn't get pulled over or something, because your horses are already long behind you.What do you do or say now? The city of Newport is still a couple of hours off.
>>22759718"Drop in the first place where is some civilizated medic."
>>22759718Just watch the scenery go buy, maybe sing something by Bob Marley for shits and giggles. I mean, it's basically mission accomplished at this point unless something goes wrong.
>>22759718Ask about Newport, get an good understanding of the place. Play some music to make sure he stays alert. Keep an eye on the road ahead, make sure there aren't any coppers, use our elf eyes.
Examine the inside of the car, just to see how it differs from normal.cars. Strike up casual conversation w/ Earl about Newport. He'll know the town.
>>22759718"Is there a decent market for herb around here? Until now, I didn't know that it was even here."Also, use our bardic song skills to play some good Reggae, maybe some Ska.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8PoqDzQ5qs
>>22759777ooh, play don't worry be happy!
You decide to play along - after all, it looks like you're in the clear unless he gets nailed by cops. You decide to keep your elf eyes peeled, making sure that if there are cops ahead, that Earl will have fair warning beforehand. While you wait, you take out your guitar and start performing whatever reggae you could remember. It's not a huge amount, but it's enough."Oh, ya ya ya, dat's me JAM," says Earl from the front, bobbing his head and singing along extremely poorly. Not that you're doing that great either - these songs really weren't designed to be sung by the soprano pipes of an elven woman. "One love... One love... Let's get together and feel alright..."It's fun, you guess, getting to finally unwind after that crazy horse ride, after killing a man. Shit, that's right, you just killed your second man. Either that kill hasn't hit you yet, or it's not bothering you as much as your first one."So, is there much of a market for your herb around here?" you ask, by way of simple conversation."Oh, ya, people love da herb. Makes everyone feel good, not take things for granted. World would be a better place if everyone had some," he says. This guy is apparently a major stoner, not just a drug runner."Don't worry... 'Bout a ting..."He's getting into your music too.That's when you go over a hill crest and you see down to the shore, see the city of Newport...::||continued||::..
>>22760061Newport was a vast city, its lights gleaming and sparkling in the night. From up on the hill you could get an idea of how big it was, and you would guess that it could have a population of at least a million people, maybe more if the dwarves also lived underground - was it racist to think that they might? You could see the lights from the moving carriages moving around, tracing the streets of the city. Even your elf eyes had a hard time keeping track of all the motion, all the activity down there. Hell, near the shore, but far enough to be on it, there were even towers that must have been thirty or more stories tall.This wasn't some big town. This was a legitimate city."Da train station be right down dere," says Earl, gesturing just vaguely enough to be meaningless. "You want ta go straight dere, yeah?"What now?
>>22760065First, ask him if he has any magics to help get rid of the smell. It is an illegal herb here.Then, we need to immediately report. The train to Newport just got derailed and struck by bandits, and they need serious reinforcements and medical care.
>>22760065"Yeah, that's where I need to get. Thank you so much, the faster I get there the faster I can get help to my friends.Is there any way I could get in contact with you once this over? I'd like to get a chance to thank you properly.">>22760096We have basic utility spells, we ought to be able to deal with the smell.
>>22760065We need to inform the authorities of the fate of the train at once! Perhaps they have a railgun to send the other way. Surely by now they wonder why the train did not yet arrive?
Cantrip away the smell, ask him to take us to the train station, thank him for his service, maybe tip him 50 or 100 crowns, from that batch we looted.He's a decent enough fellow.
"Yes, please," you say. "Every minute that we wait is another minute that the people I care about and the other people on that train are in danger." You cast a quick cantrip to clean the smell out of the inside of the carriage. No need to risk getting pulled over now when you're so close."Hold on tight, girly," he says and floors it down the side of that steep crest. You can see the morning light starting to creep up over the horizon. He has you in front of the train station in a few minutes - a few terrifying minutes. He's a terrible driver, and you thought you might die again at any moment. Still, he came to a screeching halt there in front of it and let you out."You take care now, little sista," he says jovially, giving you a lopsided smile and a wave. "You ever need ta find me, check out Saint Martin's and ask for the Earl. If I'm not around, you can leave a message if nothing else.""Thank you. Thank you so much," you say, and force a handful of crowns from your bag into his hand.He grins and drives off, and you can hear him singing, off-tune, "Every little ting's... Gonna be awright..."Well, now you're standing in front of Newport's main train terminal. It's a big and imposing structure of brick and steel. It also looks locked up at the moment; fuck, it's still not quite fully morning yet.What do you do now?
>>22760283Look around get your bearings maybe see if you can find a map of the city.
>>22760314That's stupid, we're where we need to be. Let's just knock on the door. Vehemently.
>>22760283Head in, look for the management building, and knock like fucking hell. We're in a hurry.
>>22760283Knock on the door. Report everything that happened at the train and say that the marshals requested immediate backup and they need medical care for people on the wrecked train.
Rolled 66Look around for a guard - call for help if we need to.Let them know the situation.
>>22760370This is assuming the front doors are locked.If the building is open, walk in and find someone in charge.
>>22760283Knock Spell!And should I archive now or later?
>>22760468Now now, let's not go breaking in anywhere and causing a ruckuss...My guess is that if the place is locked, there's no one home - hence why I suggested to look around for guards, if the place is locked.
You run up to the front door and knock on it - hammer on it, really. After less than a minute of that, the door flies open and a dwarven conductor bellows at you, "WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK IS IT!? WE DON'T OPEN FOR ANOTHER ANCESTORS-DAMNED HOUR, YOU DUMB FUCKING BINT!"You're taken aback, but quickly recover. "I was sent here by the marshals from the train I was on! I rode and hitchhiked my way. Some disgruntled rail employees bombed the train and derailed it trying to get to the pay car. They need reinforcements!"The worker goes quiet for a minute, then says, "I think you should probably come inside. We'll need to call up the marshal's office."A half-hour later, after a series of calls on a phone-like magical relay and explaining your story three more times in increasing detail, marshals armed with staff rifles and shotguns are all lining up at the train station. They're preparing a fast train, heavily-armored with no cars aside from the engine to be sent out with the marshals aboard to go help the derailed train. They've offered to take you along; if you go, though, you'll likely have to wait at the derailed train, as the first wave of evacuations will only be the notably wounded. Or you can wait here, and hope that Varaia's on that first train, and that Jack isn't.You'll have a few minutes to decide what you're doing and how you're going to go about it. What's your plan?
>>22760634Go with them. We want to be reunited with our friends, especially if we can be of help. Duh.
>>22760634We will have to go with them, to check up on them and see how they are. Our spellsong might also be of use if more bandits come, as well as the breastplate we took from the lone bandito.
Rolled 26>>22760634Go with them!
>>22760634Lets go, we want to see our friends and we might be of help.We can support with illusions and Bardic Music. We stay behind cover at all times of course.
Of course we go back to our husbando and best friend.
All aboard the pain train!
Of course you're going with them - it's a bit foolish of them to even suspect that you might choose not to. You load up into the train with the marshals, each of them with short beards or clean shaven, wearing military-short haircuts. They do weapon-checks largely in silence - they seem much more focused on the mission at hand than anything else they could be paying attention to. You consider trying to sing some kind of battle song or march, but decide against it, at least for the time being.You look out one of the slots that serves as a window aboard this thing and see the landscape flying past at blazing speeds. You must be moving at over a hundred miles per hour, the trees, and then desert, whipping past your view. You've arrived at the wreck of your train in less than an hour, which makes you almost laugh, considering the day and night you just had trying to get to Newport.When the train arrives, about three quarters of the marshals aboard pile out, the last quarter holding the armored engine. You follow the team out. You survey the scene before you - it looks like there was another attack while you were gone - there are more bodies out front, and only a single Marshal still standing atop the train. Up there with him is Jack, holding his rifle and looking grim. You give a sigh and smile of relief, and his grim expression breaks for a moment when he sees you and smiles.What's your first order of business?
>>22761008"It looks like I may have been too slow."
>>22761008Check up on Varaia and Jack. The marshals will know what to do with the derailed train.Show him the breastplate you found, and get him to wear it (underneath his shirt, of course. Can't have an orc wearing armor in public.)
>>22761008Hugs, first priority is hugs. For Varaia and Jack.
Rolled 80>>22761082this>>22761058then thisthen see if we can help out at all, around the wreckage.
You climb clumsily up onto the train, then run down along it to go give Jack a big hug. It hadn't really hit you how worried you had been about him and Varaia until his huge arms close around you, and suddenly you feel safe again. You stay there for a minute before letting go to talk."Varaia?" you ask."Resting, in our cabin. She's doing better.""Was I too late," you ask, looking around, feeling guilty."They hit us again an hour after you left. No amount of speed could have stopped it. Where did you get that breastplate?""Assassin. I got him first.""It looks ridiculous on you."You look down. It's side for a full-grown man, and you're a rather petite woman. It also has three bullet holes in it, and is heavily dented from your wand pistol. You take it off and leave it up there.Then you hug him again and give him a kiss. "I'm going to go check on Varaia. I'll be back."He nods, then goes back to watching the horizon.When you get to Varaia, she's sitting in the chair in the cabin, dozing. She wakes up as you drop down in."Nona. Thank the spirits," she says as she stands up, hugs you, and gives you a hard kiss. "I was so worried.""I made it all right," you say. "Had to kill an assassin. Here's a bag of money and a shotgun, by the way." You toss the bag down at her feet. "I brought the marshals, though. You should be safe now. I want you on the medical evac out of here.""No, I'm staying. I'm better now."What do you say?
Rolled 45>>22761361We don't know what happened to you, inside your head. You could have possible damage inside that we dont know about, which could get worse.Please just go with the medics, just to make sure. One small complication now could mean your death, within a week - and neither us, nor Jack, know any bit of healing magic, at the moment. Please, Varaia, for me. We'll catch up with you as soon as we can.
>>22761361Nona said: Medic evac, Varaia...Dont want you on the same situation we were
>>22761361"Varaia, head injuries can feel just fine for days and then kill you due to blood clotting and building up pressure in your brain. Me and Jack will catch up with you as soon as we possibly can, I promise you."Give her a kiss, a hug, and rub her ears a bit for good luck.
>>22761361"We have to go, Varaia. It's not safe on this train, and we'll get to the city faster. Jack and I are going, we can't leave you."
"You're leaving on the medical evacuation," you say to Varaia. "Head wounds can make you drop dead without warning long after the fact if left untreated. Go get a medical mage to take a look at you. For me.""But if you and Jack are staying... If you're going to be in danger..." she starts. She has genuine fear in her eyes."Then we'll be able to fight without worrying about you. We'll know you're safe and being treated instead of worrying about you when we should be paying attention to other things. You have to go - this isn't up for debate."She... Well, you would call it a pout, but there was nothing playful in that expression. She looks guilty and sad and afraid. You give her a hug, a kiss, and run the back of your hand across her ear to comfort her."Come on," you say. "Let's get you loaded up for evacuation. Take that bag too, in case you need to pay for medical care or something."Varaia nods. She's clearly not happy about it, but she's complying. You both climb out of the train, and you load her up onto the marshals' train. With how fast it moves, it should only be a few hours - just a few trips - before everyone's been evacuated. You see marshals loading wounded and... and lockboxes onto their train.They're evacuating the fucking lockboxes full of cash before the uninjured passengers.Are they fucking kidding you?What do you say or do now?
>>22761588"You know, I'd think as officers of the law your first duty would be to the people, and not the money. Why not just leave a team of marshals here to fend off any further attacks and focus on evacuating passengers?"
>>22761603>Actually, it kind of makes sense to remove the cash. Will stop the bandits from attacking again, eh?Coincidentally, if they're still evacuating grievously wounded I don't really see the problem.
>>22761588Loading the lockboxes makes sense actually. Take away the incentive for attacking in the first place. If we're lucky the robbers may belive shouting that the money was evacuated with proof of there being more marshals.
>>22761588Grumble inwardly.Well, with the cashboxes gone, the probability of another attack is less. Unless they're feeling spiteful enough to attack AGAIN after our reinforcements and all the losses on their end.
>>22761623I doubt the bandits will know the money has been evacuated, and thus will attack anyway.
>>22761699If they're watching the crash site, then they'll know the marshals are here.Not to say they won't try for hostages instead....
You resist your initial instinct to cry bullshit. If the attackers are still somehow watching, like with binoculars or a telescopic sight or something, they should see that the money is no longer on the derailed train. That should make the people on board safer. Assuming, of course, that they were watching. Which they probably weren't.Yeah, okay, you're still mad about this, but at least there are reinforcements. You hold your tongue for now, and give Varaia another kiss before the train heads off. You hope she'll be okay and wish that you and Jack were going with her, but you're not, so you'll worry about that later.You climb back on top of the train, and head over to where Jack and the new marshals are. A couple of those staff rifles have telescopic sights on them, and even the marshals with more normal ones are getting into carefully chosen positions with both good cover and good line of sight. It looks like it's time to start waiting.Where and how to you set up, and what, if anything, do you do while you wait?
>>22761588I think removing the cash, and making it public, is a good idea. We have a pile of marshals available here to cover the healthy, and the chances of an attack are severally decreased. Help with whatever you can.
>>22761770Let's see how Jack's doing. Ask him about what we missed. Then, we wait, maybe find ourselves a shooty spot.
>>22761770I wish we had a deck of cards, we could play poker to kill time. Instead, lets find a nice area of cover and wait with Jack, make sure he's okay.
>>22761770If we can, cast a spell that will tell us if anny bandits are coming near.
Rolled 59My only gripe is that they are bunching the money with the wounded. If the banditos WERE looking, now they are going to be attacking a cart of injured people - assuming they can get to it fast enough. That thing can scoot, god damn.Anywho... just go hold up with Jack somewhere. No time for intimacy, but we could at least go kinda just sit with each other, and keep watch somewhere. Somewhere we would be unlikely to get attacked from - the marshalls are probably watching hot spots.
>>22761836The only problem is if they sabotaged the track leading back to the city and waited for a better opportunity like- oh...
You go down into one of the cars with Jack in order to get caught up with what's been happening in the past day. You sit in his lap and lean against his chest as he talks. "About an hour after you left, they hit us again hard. That's when the marshal Harkness got shot. By then, though, we had gotten the uninjured survivors slightly organized and armed, so we were able to drive them off without too many injuries or deaths," he says, stroking your hair. "Since then, every few hours someone rides up, fires a few pot shots, and rides off, like they're testing our defenses. It always happens fast enough that we haven't been able to kill one yet, but they seem more focused on prodding us than killing us, since they haven't gotten one of us yet either."You're just starting to realize how tired you are now that you're sitting here with Jack. It's been well more than 24 hours since you last woke up, you rode hard for hours and hours yesterday, you were in a fight for your life, you've been climbing in and out of train cars, and you're mentally drained from all the illusion and enchantment work you were doing yesterday when being tracked by that assassin.You feel your eyelids starting to grow heavy. You know you shouldn't rest at a time like this, but Jack is so warm, and his chest is so comfortable.Do you force yourself to stay alert and go on duty or do you get some rest? Or something else entirely?
>>22762291...I say rest, a 2 mins nap can do wonders to the tired mind
>>22762291Sleep now. If we're needed, it will be better to have had some rest.
>>22762291Drink some coffee and then take a nap telling Jack to wake us up after an hour or so.The coffee will kick in by then and we'll be more alert than if we had done only one of those two things.
Rolled 86Just fall asleep in Jack's arms - see his response. If he lets us sleep, good. If he ties to wake us up, explain what weve been through in the past 24+ hours, and we could use a nap. If trouble arises, he'll wake us up.
Rolled 21>>22762291Stay awake, this isn't over until we're on that bullet train.
You decide it would be better to take a nap. After all, you won't really be helping anyone if you're too tired to shoot straight, will you? You put your arms around Jack, close your eyes, get nice and comfortable, and goes to sleep. You dream of chases, of Jack and Varaia being lost somewhere, of wolves moving slowly closer around the darkness surrounding a dwindling fire's light. You dream of gunshots and screams and explosions. You dream of your computer, of junk food, of having a cock again, and of the voice.You sleep.You dream.>I'm ending it here for tonight>see you gents tomorrow
>>22762560awww....okay... Cya MP!