>God like stamina >Loads of different human races that just look a bit different>Can be any class>Lives longer then you'll ever stick with a campaign but short enough that you can play as one of their children in the next oneSeriously its as if they just wanted to make an adventurer race.Don't event get me started about those "human only settings".How did they get so popular? >Elfs with fake round ears
>>20329046 >Can be any classNot wizards
>>20329053Depends on the setting.
>>20329053That's the fucked up thing - a human makes it to 30 without having sex and they become a wizard AUTOMATICALLY. That's just five years shy of the point where they start getting enhancements to their INT, WIS, and CHA from just aging.That means elves have to keep sleeping with humans just to keep the world from getting overrun with wizards.
>>20329065Technically, everything depends on the setting.
>>20329068At least there's the boost when you steal their magic.
Adrenaline does some freaky shit too.
So, monstergirl thread?What do you think of this photoshop? Pretty good, huh? Almost looks real.
>>20329065weird, in what setting can't humans be wizards
>>20329131Goddamnit dude, it's just an elf with her hair over her ears. Human cosplay sucks.
Is that the new HFY?
>>20329116Other, real, races have adrenaline. Humans just get unrealistic stat boosts from it."Can lift boulders" my ass.
HUAMN SLAVE WAHT DO?
>>20329172Kill it, they're parasites. Don't do anything of note but dig up shit people buried long ago for a damn reason.
>>20329172They don't live long enough to really get quality raping time out of them. I guess they're handy for manual labor, but you gotta be very, very careful to make sure none of your slaves get enough XP to pick up the Freedom Fighter prestige class. Their selective immunity to mind-altering effects and the ability to automatically succeed on STR checks to break chains and bend bars would be bullshit enough without their also gaining Leadership for free with all your former slaves as his followers.Fuck that noise. If they weren't such efficient breeders they wouldn't be worth keeping as slaves at all.
>>Don't event get me started about those "human only settings".>>How did they get so popular?Because it removes the pointless fanwanking and racial stereotypes along with all the different ideals on how fictional races see each other. Also gets rid of all the impractical things like some races living for 1000s of years, or some being smaller or bigger than a generic human.Also gets rid of the ORIGINAL DO NOT STEAL SPECIAL SNOWLFAKE races.Besides in most settings races are differentiated by just a bunch of stats, no matter what race you are playing you will still be playing human since you are one you will think like one.A humans only setting is usually used for more practical reasons than immersion reasons, it greatly simplifies the designation of a setting by sacrificing some immersion and deviation from the standard "human, elf, dwarf, orc" model.
>>20329254Dude, this is an OOC thread. You don't have to RP as a human here.
>>20329254I can't tell if you get the joke or not.
>>20329254>you will still be playing human since you are one you will think like one.
>>20329268I think he might be an otherkin. You know, those people who think they have a human soul?
>>20329280Ugh. I mean, I get it to an extent... Humans are awesome. But for Corellon's sake, there's a line between fantasy and reality. Lose that line and you just become That Guy.
>>20329254>simplicity more important than variety4th edition player spotted.
They have shorter lifespans than almost anything else... yet they get bonus feats AND BONUS SKILLS!? For being shorter lived and less experienced, they get more experience. Fucking min-maxed munchkin crunchin mary sue special snowflake faggotry! Don't even get me started on how they're fertile with EVERYTHING EVER FOREVER. And they're everywhere! You've got forest humans, desert humans, plains humans, city humans, nomadic mountain humans, even fucking humans on, I shit you not, FLOATING BOAT CITIES (that Technotitlan/Mexico City setting is 100% total cheese bullshit).
I know a guy who thinks that he's a human... In real life!
>>20329292jokes on you! I don't play D&D since 3.5E came out!
>>20329288>>20329280>Orcs who dye their skin brown >Dwarfs on stilts>Two Halflings piggybacking under a cloakThere was a Human con in town lately and I saw some freaky shit.
>>20329293Elves get forests, and maybe, just maybe, if you're playing 2nd edition and the DM's got that special itch beneath his scales, you can play one of the last tribes of sea elves. But a sea human? NO FUCKING PROBLEM, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! Have you ever even HEARD of a sea dwarf? Yeah, that's what I thought. Fucking humans. They don't even suck at magic! Mary sue faggotry all the way with the fucking shaved apes.
I walked in on my friend Gorg whackin' it to Humanporn.We looked each other right in the eye and he just looked so ashamed.I haven't spoken to him since. It's been a week.I just don't know.
I just want to point out that humanfags are way too obvious with their fetish. A race that can cross-breed with basically anything? A short lived, but passionate people?God damn fucking mary sue shit, the lot of it.Find yourself an elf and court her for 200 years before having sex in a carefully plotted out manner like a normal person. I swear humanfags are secretly just into bestiality, as a lot of the concepts are similar.
>>20329312When's the last time you went into town and didn't find a single human? Not one, anywhere? Yeah, that's what I thought. Find a town that doesn't have any humans and sure as shedding there'll be slaves there in the next year. Then they'll be second class citizens. Before you know it, they've built their own shitty ass ramshackle collection of twigs across the river and are claiming the entire damn swamp! Which they then try to drain! Humans! Sure, the DMPCs might not always be human, but the last troll DMPC we had was named Token!
>>20329299Ever seen a clean-shaven dwarf in a corset? I have.I wish I hadn't. I didn't have the heart to tell the poor bastard that human women don't have penises.
Anyone read those cheesy books where a vampire girl falls in love with a sparkling human boy?Worst things I ever read.
>>20329292He did not say it is more important, he merely answered the question on why "human only settings" can get popular, while obviously missing the point of the thread. This is especially true to other RPGs that are nor D&D. But judging from your obvious edition war inducing comment you probably only played 3E in your life and nothing else so you do not know anything that is not D&D.
>>20329340Oh yeah, the ones where humans sparkle when the sun hits their sweat? Yeah, that's not even science right there.
>>20329346Hey, fuck you. If this otherkin faggot wants to play in a setting with only humans because he can't get it up to girls of his own race, I have the right to call him on his shit. We all know which edition they play.
>>20329332I've never really understood the warmer races, though I've tried my hand at roleplaying an elf once or twice (only kind that go slowly enough) and I once had a bloody grand time with a manic Halfling (Hobbit, demi, whatever) called Murdertoes, but humans just baffle me. How do they go about every single day, just eating and working and eating and working and shitting and ugh! They never have to stop for anything! And they're randier than a breeder with a tongue-full of gland-juice! I don't know what sick fuck thought up these guys, probably someone over at /d/ (though the baculum's thankfully missing), but they must've been absolutely desperate to get some tail.
>>20329378Okay, this is bullshit. Humans were far more powerful in 3.5 than they were in 4th. Anyone who optimized was going to play as a human anyways, which is why the elven leagues started to have to ban them.
>Trigger disciplineI fuckin came
Fuck the haters, people who try and force others to play boring mundane real-life races like dwarves and elves. Humans are EXOTIC and AWESOME, I play fantasy to experiance something DIFFERENT than day to day life and that includes playing a character who is a fictional kickass race. If you can't accept that you really need to take a look at yourself, cuz you're really fucking PATHETIC and JUDGEMENTAL.HUMANITY FUCK YEAH!
>>20329398I didn't even notice this.Why does trigger discipline make me legitimately happy?
>>20329399>obvious aspy yuan-tiWhat's the matter, no one let you in the mating pile? Maybe if you got more knot you wouldn't feel the need to escape.
I have a question.Why are humans so visually appealing? They look just like elves, but with rounder ears. I mean, sure they're behavior and backstory is different, but why do people jerk off to images of humans? And that's not even getting into the why of "pale human" threads.
>>20329454Sooner or later everyone realized that humans are just mixtures of elves and dwarves but without the features that make each race good.They're tall and slender, like elves. But they're not as smart, not as beautiful, can't into magic and don't live as long.They're rough and brute-ish, like dwarves. But they craftsmanship is hit, they get drunk real fast and can't even grow proper beards.
>>20329454I've got a bit of a fetish for protruding ears. Not mites or ticks mind you, nothing sick like that, but a little bit of extra scale around the old sound-checker goes a long way. God... One of my deepest fantasies is just to taste one, to really lick around in and around it. Have you seen the table of flavors in the Book of Erotic Fantasy?
Seriously people, if you play more than one adventure a decade when you game you're just playing into the "human lover's" hands. I remember hitting level five around 150. The "human lover" in our group was on her fifth character, they kept dying of age and disease. At least she legitimately got into the drama of marrying young and dumb and being continuously pregnant…sickening, but she played it well.
>>20329471I don't think that's fair, really. They're brutish enough to be exotic, but not so far that they're orcs. It's a matter of spice, I think.Besides, unlike dwarves, humans have actual females, and I like me some bitches with a little muscle tone.
>>20329487I have, but... and this is a bit embarassing, but I've always had this fantasy where a human takes their big rough hands and rubs my ears with them. The feel of human fingers just gets me the fuck off, or at least it would if they were real. I tried having a guy wear sandpaper gloves once, but it was way too rough and I ended up wearing a bandage for a weak. Don't recommend it.
>>20329522>sandpaperOuchhhh. You have to be fucking kidding me. First of all, you don't use something THAT course, and second of all, human hands are oily, so you have to add a few drops to get that "smooth and rough" sort of mix.Not that I've done it. That would be weird.
>>20329454It's to heighten the exoticism. Because you can't see white people as just people, they're mysterious and savage and libidinous.Don't get me wrong, I find white women sexy, but I just like the way they look, I don't think of them as exotic forest maidens.
>>20329522Heh. A common mistake. The trick is to get the area just behind and around, never quite getting close enough to touch, tantalizing with a brush here, a scratch just below, steadily building stronger yet further until they turn back and head in, going back slower and more powerfully until they're just at the edge of the tympanum... Humans don't need to stop, though. I've seen the drawings, and it looks like it does go all the way in!
>>20329549>>20329522>>20329499>>20329487/d/ is elsewhere faggots. Hume fetishists have no place on this board.
>>20329522Have you tried going out with a powerlifter? Their hands get calloused, and all the fat gives them a humin physique.
>>20329567Looks like someone hasn't seen the 500 or so human art dumps and "Best kind of human?" threads. Humans are incredibly /tg/ related.
Hey, keep your creepy fetishes out of the games unless it's ERP. Humans are just some kind of fantasy ape monster made for fluff flavor, not your marysue fuck fantasy. Keep it in your pants and away from the public if you must.
You people just don't understand! In a past life I was a human! I had rounded ears and everything! Just because I'm an elf now doesn't mean I can't remember back when I was king of the humans! I was called Edgarcialix the Just and everyone loved me because I was so charismatic, noble and just!
>>20329585"Human rapist wut do" threads are the cancer which does not affect /tg/ at all since its mystical physiology is unaffected by diseases and only needs to trance for 4 hours a night instead of sleeping
>>20329596>EdgarcialixYou were an elven medicine for erectile failure?
obligatory pic of that australian girl who mutilated her ears
>>20329605Hey, I like those threads. Just picturing a human forcing me down with his rough hands and taking me hard after only a few years of foreplay is a glorious fantasy. I've done everything I can to get my boyfriend to get it in under a decade, but it's just too weird for him. I want to meet a boy who is as into humans as I am. Maybe a weightlifter like someone mentioned before.
>>20329624Man, on the one hand that poor girl's never going to be able to get a respectable job again.On the other hand... I want to touch them.
So yeah, which type of human do you prefer?The gritty and dark version of brutish apes that plunder, murder and rape their ways through the world,or the more aesthetical versions that look like bulkier elves?I mean neither of them are accurate. Every scholar who studied humanity can tell you that the image we have of humans nowadays is a result of hyped cliches and pop-cultures.
>>20329624'dat defined muscle. She has to be on some serious roids for that.
>>20329648Seriously. I bet she might even have a pubic hair.
>>20329454Elves can't grow beards.Ever noticed the large amount of "female" dwarfs at a human con?
>>20329645I think it's okay for the stories to evolve over time. I mean, yes, they were initially a representation of elvish fears for what lived outside of the forests, and a lot more likely to kill you than rape you, but I think all versions are valid. Minus the "sweat makes them sparkle" variation.>>20329656Geeze that hot. I love it when women unshave down there. To have it be natural instead of a spell is... wow.
Reading a fluff a bit, and holy shit, they are trying way to hard to make humans sound badass.I mean really, charging into machingun fire over an open field?And don't even get me started on this bullshit "World War 2" nonsenseThis shit is just so fucking dumb, seriously
>>20329703Didn't they all die when ever they tried that or was that reconned?
>>20329703I have read some of the stories about that time too.What a load of nonsense. If these stories are true humans really enjoyed killing each other big time. The big numbers of casualties were so absurd humans would have radicated themselves.
>>20329703Don't forget that whole Cold War afterward. I mean, seriously, both sides had atomic superweapons and they're not using them because not only are they ultimate badasses in combat but they're fuckawesome diplomats too? What the fuck.
>>20329703Eh, psychologically that's no harder than being a tactical nuke dive-bomber. What's bullshit is all the stuff about how they used atomic weapons twice and then decided it was "to destructive to ever use again".
>>20329719If you mean the Earth campaign setting, then yes, it was retconned as them not taking the mutual annihilation event during the "Cuban Crisis" endgame. It's a shame, as it was much more realistic for them to end it there, and it was a good social warning regarding the spell race.
>>20329729That whole "atomic power" thing was bullshit anyway. I mean seriously: bombs that could wipe out whole cities? CITIES?Who the fuck writes their species as "has a thirty thousand things that could everybody"?
Is it true that if a human bites you, you become a human yourself?
>>20329719Most of them died, but apparently they have balls of steel. I think they retconned the "human progress will win the day" bit though, since it doesnt really fit with this sort of ridiculous
You know what I think is even worse?That some random ass failed "artst" (>human art) could turn a broken nation into the biggest fucking fighting force on the planetI mean really, what?
>>20329747No. Humans aren't real. Someone lied to you at a human con.
>>20329727the writers have no sense of scale. I mean first they go on about millions being slaughtered all the time, and then suddenly a few thousand guys getting killed by a plane crashing is some big tragedy?
>>20329759Trying really hard to give him a tragic backround for fan points.I guess they noticed people talking about how totally gay the art made him look (that STUPID moustache and hair-slick thing), and so they tried to make him more appealing somehow
>>20329764I think they actually might have forgotten about the first million deaths: there was a staff change and it really felt like the fluff for the 1940's didn't match the fluff for the 1960's.
>>20329748Eh, I know what you're getting at, but Hitler was a great character until people started making so many clones of him in every freaking campaign. I swear, the number of failed artists who became world threatening warlords outnumbers the number of failed artist characters who starved.
>>20329764What really baffles me are the numbers themselves.Millions died in human-only wars? Please. That's more than the entire orc population, all tribes and subspecies included.
>>20329797What's really hilarious is when people kept calling out the writers on it they backed up really fast in a podcast calling it a "hyperbole". Yeah, SURE.
>>20329797Wars?There are battles with more casulties.Like that Stalingrad BSI mean, what?Almost a year of fighting for a worthless city?If this is suppoused to demonstrate human stubbornniss then they failed uterly, just makes them look moronic
>>20329792Yeah, the Hitler fanbase really ruined his character. I know I shouldn't let meta issues bother me, but there it is, and I say that as someone who has read all the Hitler books. Hell, I even cosplayed as hitler once at gen-con.
>>20329823Does anyone know why they changed Stalingrad's name during the 2nd to 3rd edition change? They didn't really explain that very well in the fluff.
>>20329774I'm not even sure if it's meant for tragedy. When it comes to human-based stories, most authors seem to go with either HE'S RICH OKAY or more actual tragedy like dead parents for backstories. I mean, even that really nutty human bard who's philosophy is meant as a parody of Orc principles and Dwarven economics had some dead parents and Russkies or whatever being mean to her. Failed artist who ended up becoming the leading force of fancy suit-wearing maniacs to conquer nations sounds something more out of a comedy.
>>20329830Did that too once, some butthurt "follower" of the Jewish religion (yeah...he followed a religion from an RPG....) called me out on it, called it tasteless, etc.Fucking Neckbeards, I tell you
What I want to know is WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING when they were writing this fucker's stat block?
>>20329844Derp, forgot pic in my rage.
>>20329836Well I laughed at it when I read it, that's for sure.>>20329842Oh right, Jewfans. Easily the most annoying part of the game. I mean, I get the appeal of that faction (underdog stuff is usually cool), but they take it WAY too far sometimes.
>>20329850Oh God Teddy motherfucking Roosevelt.The only Mary Sue in history to ever actually also be completely fucking awesome.
>>20329842Are you sure he wasn't trying to roleplay? That seems retarded, even for an otherkin.
>>20329862Rumor has it Teddy was a PC played by the guy who originally designed the setting. It would explain a lot.
>>20329862They went completely over the top with him, yes. It ended up as comedic awesome.
>>20329850You think Roosevelt is bad?This guy right here is the most broken human ever written.He's such a blatant self insert, I can't even begin to grasp it.
>>20329864I'm serious, we was following that religion to the letter
>>20329797>Thinks there are only a million orcsWell that's your Elven education system for you>>20329703WW1 games are such bullshit.>Try to take over trench, get shot to death.>Have to roll san checks everytime you see a friends dead body>Random gas attacks.How the fuck you even win at this shit? Only time I've even heard of a WW1 game ending is when the Austia and Turkey had to leave and the German guy had to give up
>>20329875Yeah, being the literal son of the GM was a bit much.
>>20329875Oh god, don't even get me started on THAT guy.If I have ever seen an offical Mary Sue, well, here it is
>>20329875I don't know, did they specify he was human? The fluff is always vague on it. I kept reading that humans die when you kill them, except he comes back and they keep calling him a ghost or something?I think he was going to be an alien before they canceled the metaplot. It would explain a lot of the stuff he did.
>>20329861You know, fuck you hitlerhaters. Sure, the fanbase is obnoxious, but the Hitler Saga was one of the best series to come out of the Germanic region novels. I mean, granted, Germany is a bit of an obvious expy of the Underdark societies, but it was nice to see a race of people that were both impressively competent and totally evil.
>>20329889He's 3 things, a god, a human and a ghost. They connect together to form a giant robot
>>20329913Are you seriously trying to hook up with an Ork?
>>20329883>Well that's your Elven education system for youYou greenskinned fellas can't even count to ten, let alone count your entire population
>>20329905... I want to like Germany, I really do, but a race of people who can't choose to be good is really boring. That "Always Evil" crap is and always has been poison to any setting, and it was even worse back in the day when they had the Lawful requirement as well.
>>20329922Shit man, just take it to /pol/. I swear, some people just want an excuse to get on about the "Bleh bleh bleh, Orkish god of war this made Elvish god of combat that and bleh bleh bleh". Can't we have one thread without someone threadshitting about the local lizardpeople or greenskin race raping their sister or taking their job or something?
>>20329933>he plays modern
>>20329933The latest codexes switches it, so the Always Evil thing is pretty much gone. There's a strong preference to Lawful classes though, and pretty much any German prestige class requires Lawful.
>>20329889Ugh, Jesus Christ. I swear they made this guy so mary sue just to make the whole "Christian West" faction more grimdark"He preached love, but his followers only hate and kill, Hurr Durr"
So has anyone checked out that new splatbook with the Accountant, Patent Lawyer and Clerk prestige classes? OP as hell, what were they thinking?
This is my new half-human characterwat do?
>>20329965Hey, at least they didn't give it to the weeaboos like they did with the Muslims. Can you imagine if Mary Magdalane was a "kawaii loli" like Aisha?
>>20329965I never understand why he needed to have such a bizarre array of powers, especially with twelve other dudes with him. Just spread it out, make everyone pretty even instead of having the magic holy healbot who can also summon sandwiches and ressurect himself and his twelve asshole friends who can... Pretty much praise him and fuck up keeping him alive.
>>20329958Izzat the same codex where they try to "apologize" for the holocaust by banning any mention of it, or images of the symbols they used in WWII? Because while I appreciate them dropping the evil requirement, that shit seems pretty iffy. I mean, even with that, I've never seen any good aligned German NPCs in the book. Some neutral ones, sure, but good is apparently not allowed.Hell, did you see the recent update where the new Pope is a German? His alignment? Would make sense if it were good, right?Lawful Neutral, and he used to be a nazi or somesuch.
>>20329965>>20329917Worst part is that the writers can't even keep their own canon straight.>Christianity >the racial god of humans>monotheist>three gods>I hurr my durr
>>20330015Nah man, they're three aspects of the same god. Like in Exalted where the Primordials have multiple lower spirits.
>>20330009I think it shows some real bad taste to take a real-world even like the Elven Holocaust and make it a game for the sake of amusement, is all.
>>20330009To be fair, I think that was less of the Germans always being non-good thing and the current grimdark bullshit that they're trying to pull with the Catholicism codexes. Now there's apparently a world-wide child-rape priest conspiracy and they're acting as some sort of bullshit propaganda villain forces in some of the Africa and North America codexes. You know, I liked Grimdark Villain Catholicism back when it was called the Crusades or the Spanish Inquisition. At least they didn't have to resort to fucking pedophilia to stand out.
>>20329981Whoah, that's pretty masculine for someone who's half elf as well as half human. Might want to redraw it.
>>20329987LOL yeah, although the funny does kind of break through all that Middle East Grimdark nonsense>>20329998The disciples? their just their to make Jesus look good, I swear. Seriously, Peter? The big guy, the one Jesus loved, the rock on which his church was built? RIGHT after jesus had done that whole Fish bread BS (the first time, since they had to reuse that rubbish), the big guys making some obscure metaphor about how the pharisees arent teaching right or something, and peter thinks he's ticked cause he forgot to bring the bread.Jesus, out of bread. LOL.
>>20330038>current grimdark bullshit that they're trying to pull with the Catholicism codexesPoint, and honestly, I wish they'd stop harping on the "corrupt religion" angle in the books. It's like they're trying to be political and crap about real world religions like Aerdriesm, but it's just so heavy handed and overdone at this point.
>ww2 game>Playing English sniper>Roll listen>GM says I hear the sounds of bells>Demands I stand up and shout 'IT'S 10 BONG!'How the fuck did these guy take over 3/4 of the world again?
>>20329471>beardless dwarvesThat's verging on underage by dwarf standards. I always kinda got a weird feeling about humans because of that.
I used to think like you guys until some years ago.I was getting ready to run my weekly D&D game when one of my players gave me a call me to ask if there was room for another player, which of course I had. My player shows up with this workmate of his who looks like some 80s movie director idea of a nerd. Anyway, I explain him the setting: high fantasy, low human population, you know, the good stuff. He then tells me he wants to play a Human Paladin and I rolled my eyes, the That Dorf alarm going off in my head. I try to remark how my game is really High Fantasy and the dude insists he wants to play his Human. Since I didn't want to be a jerk, I rolled with it.I started DMing... and fuck me, but this guy was good. I mean, we all have horror stories about humanfags hogging the spotlight so everyone can see how special is their short-lived snowflake, but he was GOOD. His character, George, was always sniffling, sneezing and coughing because of this or that disease that, of course, the rest of the group (elves and dwarves) didn't catch. Instead of going on and on about how his people were going to tame the world, in the few moments of heavy RP, George would lament how brutish and short-sighted Humans were, telling the rest of the PCs how much he admired them and how much he was learning from them over these decades of adventure. Over the course of the campaign, the Human Paladin helped to bring peace between an aggresive human empire and an elven kingdom and fell in love with a long bearded dwarven girl, only to be rejected when he tried to propose after only knowing her for over five years (the player was aware that this was going to happen and went with it regardless). George, the Human Paladin ended up dying because of a Plague, his last wish to be entombed the way dwarves are only for his human family to burn him according to their barbaric traditions.
>>20330097The White Humans has Craft bonuses. It makes some sense even if they're weaker than some of the other subraces. Have no idea how they beat the Red Humans, though, fucking OP as fuck Bow Weapons.I swear whoever wrote their statblock was an National Archery Association member. Goddessdamned arrownuts.
>>20329875I onced cosplayed as him to a convention.Did it pretty well too, puttied the ears, skin tan, fake beard, everything.Only problem was this one guy who dressed as Jonas, wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. Kept making bad jokes like "why so cross" and shit.Cosplayers man
>>20330097Look, I know I'll be hated for this, but I really like the western nations faction.The Idea of their own bloodthirsty barbarism driving them to technological heights before their society could catch up really gets me. Guess its because I'm a dwarf, and it resonates a bit.Having a post nuclear society with a monarchy, even just a figure head one is a bit much though.
>>20330113That's rather heartwarming. Nice to see some people can actually play a human well.
>>20330097reminds me of a game>playing WW:C&I (Wild West: Cowboys and Indians for you orcs)>in group of cowboys, playing a badass gunslinger>sent to round up some "Reddies" who stole some cattle>getting pretty fucked by bow fire and guerrilla tactics>only survive because of DM's pet NPC, some shit name like "Eastwood" or somethingGuy sucked at DMing, I swear to Ellahahna that DMNPC was custom built; fuck off a human can shoot all 6 rounds and hit with every one in a single turn
Hi boyz~Half-Orc Half-Elf girl looking for a gaming group :3
I am pissed all of the fuck off.I played in a Cold War campaign (in before "nukes lol"). Now Cold Wlar is on Earth which is a human-only setting but I always play elves and I ask if there's some human group that at least looks a little like elves. He tells me there's this group in some mountains that are fighting off the typical-human Soviets with almost elf-like guerilla tactics and support from the USA. I'm still a faggot human and can't cast spells but the DM is a bro so good times good times.I name my character Mohammad ibn Haqim because otherwise the rest of the group will keep assuming my character is an atheist like everybody else. Next book comes out. Metaplot: Everybody in the world hates my group because one dickburger writer over at Humans of the Coast decided that my group, in ten short years, did a 180 turn and attacked our great ally USA. What kind of retarded ass writer thinks our greatest tactician would make that kind of mistake?Suddenly my character can't fly anywhere without tons of bureaucracy to prove that I'm not with those guys, I can't teleport or summon a dragon because No Magic At All and my DM is a setting purist. I asked if we could maybe play with that shit just never happening in the first place but the plot needs the entire US military in that region so they're open for the Chinese Invasion planned for Earth Book: China 2015. It's bullshit.
>>20330313What Orc has was so desperate that they had to bed an Elf? If you really wanted something smaller and lankier, there are plenty of Goblins out there.
>>20331322You think that's bad? I used to play an American Precursors army (Cherokee Tribe, I like their leader units) before the new edition. It's been almost ten years since they had a codex, and each update keeps giving more OP gear to every faction but them. I'm going to have to sink cash into some other faction if I want to keep competitive, or see if I can repaint them into Swedes or something.
>>20330149>skin tanI...wait...what?OH! Sorry, thought you were an elf or a dwarf for a second, so the idea of tanning yourself seemed redundant.Do you have any pics, bro? An ork jesus seems like it'd be pretty neat to see. You must be really svelte to pull off a human physique, or did you just wear bigger robes to make yourself appear weaker?
>>20331475Dat Goblin ass...
Idea For Setting:Location: Small-Medium forrested valley opening onto a plain. Elves there discover savage humans on the plain (new race) and enslave them due to their stockiness and high breeding rate. Cut to several generations later, and a convergence of disasters has the elves going to the nearby mountain dwarves for aid out of desperation. Elven dignitary is a condescending prick. War were declared. Humans decide to revolt.>Cont.
>>20331800>an entire campaign of human slave wat do?>ellarahowhorrifying.jpg
>>20331800Dwarves decide not to erradicate the humans because they don't know any better yet, humans forge their own society.Now, one thing I find actually realistic about humans is their relative speed of technological development. Short life spans and high breeding rates make for greater risk-taking, and thus faster tech development due to statistical inevitability. So the humans tech and population advance quickly, and the dwarves are okay with this because so far all they see is a less-prissy version of elves with a better work ethic. And nobody else is close enough to care yet. Then the expanding human society bumps up against some orcs and the shit hits the fan. Orcs get attacked due to lolracism, and dwarves are still okay with it, because they are pretty racist too. Then they attack the next race... and the next.They basically start steamrolling across the continent on some kind of misguided racial-purging war. Dwarves finally care, and now the PCs (a party of dwarven heroes) must figure out how to deal with the rising human threat before the dwarves catch shit for allowing the apes to get this far in the first place.
I admit it! I have a fetish for Dark Humans!
>>20332847Get your thinly veiled "dark human slave wat do" shit out of here, you shitposting faggot.
>>20329131Collar bone, shoulder, neck and arm look unnatural.Nose not in line with rest of face. Looks ill proportioned. Looks more like anime than a person.
>>20332962Have some better Human cosplay, then.
>>20332909But my fetish is Dark Human Mistress. Oh, the things she would do to me.
OP, in the pre-books version of Narnia, humans were a creature recently consigned to legend...then again, it's Narnia. a squad of Khorne berzserkers or one Ultramarine with a chainsword could conquer the setting.=3
My last girlfriend would only every play humans and talked openly about getting surgery to round off her ears. She was talking about diets and exercises to shorten her already abnormal height (she's nearly a half-head shorter than I am and I'm already a bit below average) and so that she can have "the body".I... I dunno. It got too weird, like she couldn't accept reality for some reason, but I gotta say it was pretty hard to argue with the little doodles of the body she wants. Those hips man... those hips...
Man, human settings after 5ed got so fucked up. I mean seriously, weapons that are like crossbows, but can shoot for hundreds of meters? What were they thinking? It made the battle system so complex that I'm thinking of giving up on the WWII campaign my GM is running. I mean seriously, my 15th level US Rifleman got gunned down running up a beach because one end was covered in AP2 Machine guns! Only one guy in the party survived the encounter, and that's because he rolled medic! Then my British sniper got hit by a mortar randomly! I swear, I just wish they'd go back to modern weapons, like swords...
>Short life spans and high breeding rates make for greater risk-taking, and thus faster tech development due to statistical inevitability.Bullshit. Human technology would develop at snail pace. As soon as you've gotten good and experienced, you die from old age.Besides, humans are explicitly non-magical. They would never be able to reconstruct some of our devices like e.g. boilers without un-ending sources of fire.
>>20333741You think that's bad, but what's worse is how they've written themselves into corner with the planned WWIII release. The weapons are too powerful to let any of the major factions actually fight without the whole mutual annihilation thing kicking in. All they can do is have the larger factions fight with some of the smaller ones that don't have those weapons yet.>>20333988>Besides, humans are explicitly non-magical.In the earth campaing setting, yes, but there are no elves to compete with them there. In the closer to real life settings, humans can master wizardry far quicker than we can, taking 30 years at most as one anon already said. And then those wizards, having limited lifespans anyways, are going to be taking far more risks.
>>20333988are you kidding, there's some of that "modern fantasy" settings where humans are using techno-crap that's just total bullshit, cracking atoms for power, flying to the moon and back, building hyper-competent golems, forges that pump-out legendary level equipment by the thousands. flying machines that are covered in armor and still move fast as hell. All without a single bit of magic used, goddamn suspension of disbelief is just shot to hell.
>>20334190It's easier if you just think of their tech as highly advanced magic.
>>20333494>'dem hipsWhat's scary is that I've started to see that theme sneak into a lot of elven art.I swear they're trying to convert us to humefags. We need to pass a law against this.
Did you guys hear about that guy who was born with round ears? supposedly he died mysteriously when he was 90....... spooky shit.
>>20334651Back to /x/ with you, unless you have a source?
>>20334651It's probably for the best, though, being a freak like that. I've heard that humans have hair on their body like an animal in most settings, only it's thin and doesn't do anything. Like even the women, only they shave it or some shit. Like seriously they look like tall dwarves only skinnier like elves. looks too weird I think.
>>20334892>It's probably for the best, though, being a freak like that. I've heard that humans have hair on their body like an animal in most settings, only it's thin and doesn't do anything.It does quite a bit man. Just the thought of running my fingers along a human's rough chest with that hair makes me blush so hard. Humans are much better than elves because their more free-spirited, and even their bodies represent that. They're wild and masculine, but they can still be refined, unlike those fucking orcs.
>>20329254>Also gets rid of the ORIGINAL DO NOT STEAL SPECIAL SNOWLFAKE races.Tell that to the Balkan races.>4 barely distinguishable races>all fighting each other over who is the most special
>>20334959Hummie pls go
Hey guys, I keep getting connection errors to the Aethernet. I tried unplugging and replugging my mana cables and rebooting my crystal drive, but after five minutes I keep getting kicked off 4chan.orc
>>20335091Ask for help in /g/, we're discussing humans.
>>20329068I think you meant AUTOMAGICLY
>>20334959Get the fuck out of here Humiefag, and don't insult Orcs. I swear, Elves are so misinformed about us. Just goes to show about an education system that puts out humiefags though...>>20334124My GM's picking up the Afghanistan suppliments, is that a good one, or should I skip on to 2025 Proxy Wars?
>>20335196>My GM's picking up the Afghanistan suppliments, is that a good one, or should I skip on to 2025 Proxy Wars?Depends on whether you're into guerrilla warfare.It's a pretty long war, but was never really that popular for some reason. Even in the fluff, most of the major faction's people seemed to be unaware that it was even going on, which is a bit hilarious given that the Iraq module (which showed up out of fucking nowhere) got so much attention from the gaming community.
>>20335196It's so cute when orcs get jealous of an imaginary race. Besides, it's not like you aren't lousy with Humiefags, too. Half your erotic fiction seems to be human rape, and I've been to Gruumshchan. You had three "Human captive, wat do" threads on the front page.
>>20335274Hey, just because Orc humiefags seem to be the loudest doesn't mean they're most of us. I was referring to how the Elf said that Orcs were unrefined. Come on, haven't you heard of Klirkeshi, the famous Orcish poet? Stereotypes, man...
>FUCK YEAR WHITE PEOPLE
>>20335300Okay, fair enough, there are some exceptions, but are you denying that Orcs routinely test lower on standardized tests compared to elves and a number of any other races?I'm not saying there aren't plenty of dumb elves, or smart orcs, but it's a stereotype with some biological basis.
>>20335321Fuck off to your recolor threads, palefag. Tan humans are the best.
>>20335321Ah, I take it you're a fan of the German faction, or do you not play the Earth Setting?Picture related, she is my silent image partner. Hoping to get her upgraded to ice once I finally learn Simulacrum.
>>20335488>Simulacrum>having to cast endure elements to not get your dick stuck inside your imaginary girlfriend
>>20335545Say what you will, but my human figment will never betray me, unlike your treacherous 3d goblinoid disgusting harlots.
Have you tried Birth of Industrialism? The combat is so bad, standing in lines on open ground. What were they thinking?
>>20335488I have no idea how anyone could play such an obviously evil faction. I mean, sure, they redeemed themselves during the Cold War arc, but during the World War II arc they were downright vicious. I prefer the British faction. sure, a few of them are bad, but overall they're nice people, although ever since the Cold War arc they've been nerfed to hell and back...
>implying that humans aren't a convenient stand in for orcs so elves can squee guilt free while portraying rape by orcs>implying that humans aren't a convenient stand in for elves so orcs and rut guilt free while portraying elvesHumans are just a PC way of avoiding having your fap fiction stray too close to reality. You now this to be so.
>>20335723Fucking hobbits can't type worth shit.
>>20335664Humans are cheap and the weapons system is the battalion. I don't get how "morale" works, seems to be related to racial nationalism and peasants. Then I read the sourcebook which said half of the soldiers routinely fired in the air!Go ask "Napoleon," that self-insert stars in a bigger series of books than "Hitler" does, and writes about "elan."
>>20335667Evil can be sexy, too, and it lends a taste of forbidden fruit. Even after the Nazis lost power, no one can look at a German and not see a nazi, even if they're nice people, so you get a bit of both worlds.That, and evil dresses way better than good.
You know what really annoys me about Human settings. The fucking technology scale. Literally every campaign I have ever played has had a different technology. I remember this one game I played where the GM set it right betwen centuries. In the course of like the 5 years the game took we went from writing letters to every single person in the party having a pocket size voice communicators. It's so fucking unrealistic.I mean even the dwarfs don't just "invent" technology that fast. Pic related it was our parties "that guy"
>>20335723>Implying orc on elf rape isn't one of the most common erotic themes>Implying that isn't 90% of erp campaignsLol.
>>20335757 Later on humans even killed their own when they retreated.I mean, how grimdark isn't that?
>>20335782>Even after the Nazis lost power, no one can look at a GermanThere's also the fact that pale skin is the color of bones. And you notice most Germans are drawn thin, which is an obvious play on the skeleton angle. Germans really have the feel of an undead faction, if you think about it, which really makes me wonder what would happen if you introduced magic into the Earth setting. Can you imagine if the Germans RAISED all those people they put into the concentration camps? It could have turned the tide, and it really fits them.
>>20335811You had it easy. So, our DM made the decision that different sub-races of human had different tech levels. And not just "oh, these guys have horse-drawn carriages where these other guys have magic ("tech"? idk) driven mobiles. No, some humans had instant communication across the whole globe where others were living in shit mud hut village. Some humans could cure basically any disease with lasers (of all things) while others were dying by the "millions" because one asshole got the sniffles. Seriously, if they could transmit information instantly, why wouldn't they all have the same tech level?
Why is it that in all human fantasies, humans invented everything? Are we going to sacrifice the ingenuity of the dwarves and the wisdom of the elves just to make humans 'adaptable'?
>>20335902what's so bizzarre about that, of all things? It's not like we don't have those ferals still living in the woods by the ancient "one bone for one twig" violent doctrine.
>>20335943It's the sheer level of disparity between the two. I mean, it's not like ferals can't access higher level magic. Even if they lack the knowledge, some god or spirit will grant it to them with proper reverence. A lot of them just choose that "old ways are best".
>>20335929I can name any number of settings where that isn't the case, though its the gnomes that serve as inventors a lot these days, which is bullshit because gnomes spend most of their time fapping to Illusion magic, not getting shit done.And to be fair to humans, their traditional statblock is nicely in between the major races (enough so that they've become some sort of fantasy baseline) so they would be very adaptable.
You see them as fiction. History proven otherwise. My fellow Kobolds are known archeologist. We've been exploring the many, many ruins of this land. And we've seen the skeletons. They're real.
>>20337313How would you even tell human skeletons from elven ones?
>>20337351For one, they're bones are supposedly halfway between the size of a dwarf and elf, but anyone who believes in Humans is just as stupid as people who say that the Astral Plane Sailing was faked...
>>20331539bigger robes and stopped eating that shit the goblins made. Got laughed at by some of the other orcs but fuck did I look good come gen-con
>>20337378"Ancient humans"fuck you, fuck you so much
>>20329151>HFYGod, the people who write that are such fucking losers. If you're going to deify something at least make it your OWN race. Fuck. The humans are always these perfect little mary sues too, and everyone self-inserts as one.
>4chan.orcBest thread on /tg/.