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File: 1344672644898.png-(272 KB, 1000x1500, newqueststart.png)
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You are a Magical Girl, and you are mere moments away from buying porn.

If only Mami could see you now.

It's not for you, of course. That fact should be made clear right at the outset.

No, it's for the people about to suffer your presence in a hidden Research and Development base in Siberia - specifically, your arms dealer's older brother. An only-recently dependable young man, who, according to a very unimpeachable source, had spent half his lifetime being a typical shut-in who prefers the second dimension to the real thing. Figures, PVC statues and hug pillows seem to have been involved, along with seasonal trips to Comiket.

It's...not something you haven't seen before. Some of your past clients had been concerned parents who wanted some additional security for their misbegotten progeny; additional security preferably someone of the female persuasion and existing in the third dimension.
That was your first mission, and you actually tried to be sympathetic. Hell, you actually allowed one of them to try and hold your hand - but it went downhill really quickly when your client to get fresh with you just as you were trying to get yourselves into an extraction point, with a kill-team hot on your heels.

You had to call Mami to stop yourself from saving your pursuers the effort.

Some people, really.
>>
>>20272839

But despite that, you try not to be too hard on those perverts, even when one of their less-restrained groups had gone out and raped an idol to the point of her committing suicide, and nearly got her best friend in on it too.

You're simply much too familiar with the concept of trying to remove yourself from reality - the reality that you've deemed too much of a hassle to deal with - to judge. It's just that your means and theirs are different - they have their two-dimensional wives and girlfriends, you have alcohol and over-the-counter painkillers.

And no, the difference doesn't make you any less pathetic.

No less of a failure.

Who are you, then, to look down on that subset of the population that you honestly identify with?

You think upon this as you behold the highly-decorated front of the store itself, glancing at the smiling, well-proportioned beauties winking coquettishly from their glossy paper and pillowcase prisons. Staring past the display that proclaimed that all new trap mangas were at 50% off, and that one can get two bottles of onahole lubricant for the price of one.

When you look at the big picture, you really do suck.
>>
>>20272841

You must have been navel gazing for quite a long time that the shop's attendant - a young woman, from the looks of it, wearing the Toranoana clerk apron proudly above casual clothes, her short bowl-cut hair framing two wide brown eyes and an innocent smile - actually steps out of the shop itself to talk to you. A concerned expression on her bespectacled visage.

"Um, excuse me, but is there something particular you're looking for?" She smiles at you. Her nameplate identifies her as Yuri<3, complete with a heart symbol at the end. "We have a very diverse stock inside, not all of them is visible from the front display. It's alright to come in and look!"

[]This...this is my first time...
[]Sure. I'll see what you got.
[]Tell me more about this onahole lubricant promo.
>>
>>20272847
[]Sure. I'll see what you got.
[]Tell me more about this onahole lubricant promo.

Misaka's brother is in for a surprise, all that cheap trap hentai!
>>
>>20272847
[x]Sure. I'll see what you got.

We might as well.
>>
>>20272847
>[]This...this is my first time...
And now, sleep for udzes
>>
>>20272847
Lets buy the nastiest thing in the store to show just how many fucks we don't give.
>>
>>20272847
Oh god this can only end badly.

i choose hidden option >[x] explain at inordinate length that we're looking for a gift for someone else.
>>
>>20272847

Sure. I'll see what you got.

>>20272906
And this may also be a good idea.

SOCIALLY AWKWARD MAGICAL GIRL IS SOCIALLY AWKWARD.

Also, god dammit Udz, why is your tripcode showing up in my Captcha?
>>
>>20272917
Wh-what?
>>
>>20272917
>>20272921
I mean, you took a screencap of that, right?
>>
>>20272906

Approve. "I'm getting a gift" is a superb way to deflect awkwardness in these stores.

Adding "It's for my best friend's brother" is also useful.
>>
>>20272921

Seriously. My captcha had UdzMm in it. I am confused and alarmed.
>>
>>20272847
[x]Tell me more about this onahole lubricant promo.
When she's confused, do >>20272906
I just hope she IS confused and does immediately jump to a certain conclusion...
>>
>>20272906
I can only really support this.
>>
>>20272933
I am entirely baffled. Amused, but completely baffled.
>>
>>20272939
*doesn't
>>
>>20272948

eh, either way works out amusingly, y'know.
>>
>>20272839

Incidentally, should we not have another golden whatsit highlighted since the Kilgore thing? What number were his gloves again?
>>
>>20272955
We don't know yet. We didn't see while he had 'em, and haven't seen them since he went all daemon prince and was killed again.
>>
>>20272955
We don't know yet because the accursed Incubator swept them away instantly.

They'll show up in the OP once we know which they are, and they're probably in Siberia.
>>
>>20272955

We haven't physically grabbed them yet, though. QB vanished them before we could do anything. That's the only difference I can see.
>>
>>20272867
[x]Sure. I'll see what you got.
[x]Tell me more about this onahole lubricant promo.

Seconding this.
>>
Stop putting in such terrible troll answers Deculture, people keep picking them...
>>
>>20272989
Well yeah. Duh.
>>
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>>20272847 Yuri<3
Do you have yuri on the folowing anime?
1979 : Mobile Suit Gundam
1980 1st Half : Space Runaway Ideon
1980 2nd Half : Adieu Galaxy Express 999
1981 : Ashita no Joe 2
1982 : The Super Dimension Fortress Macross | Rokushin Gattai Godmars (Tie)
1983 : Crusher Joe
1984 : Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
1985 : Dirty Pair
1986 : Laputa : Castle in the Sky
1987 : Dragon Ball
1988 : My Neighbor Totoro
1989 : Akira
1990 : Nadia : The Secret of the Blue Water
1991 : Legend of the Galactic Heroes
1992 : Sailor Moon
1993 : Yu Yu Hakushô
1994 : Yu Yu Hakushô
1995 : Neon Genesis Evangelion
1996 : Neon Genesis Evangelion
1997 : The End of Evangelion | Princess Mononoke (Tie)
1998 : Martian Successor Nadesico : The Prince of Darkness
1999 : Cowboy Bebop
>>
>>20272989
He's putting them in to troll us.
>>
>>20272847
...look for silent, uncomfortably long seconds at the <3 with a blank expression, then
[x]...Sure.... I'll see what you got.
>>
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>>20272847
[X]Tell me more about this onahole lubricant promo.
You're cute. Can I try it on you? XD
>>
>>20273006
fetish insertion
>>
>>20273005
>Neon Genesis Evangelion
>Asuka raping Rei

oh yeahhh
>>
>>20273043
...eh?
>>
Why don't we just ask her for whatever stuff a teenaged boy would want, rather than have Homura try to figure out what somebody of the opposite sex would want?
Also, something for the future: make Midori promise to never tell the actual story behind the Soulgem licking business. (Did Midori promise that, if need be, she'd keep our secrets, taking the assistant/newbie/life-debt thing very seriously? If yes, this is simple enough as she's serious about confidentiality already. If not, no big deal, just make her promise to keep the secret.)

She goes with the cover story of how it happened: that Homura accidentally discovered it while drinking out of the same cup she'd put her own Soulgem in, and so Homura ended up licking Homura's Soulgem.

Midori, seeing the results, decided to copy Homura and test it out herself.

That's the story, and you're sticking with it Midori.
>>
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>>20273005
Needs more yuri about:
2000 : Cardcaptor Sakura
2001 : Fruits Basket
2002 : Mobile Suit Gundam SEED
2003 : Fullmetal Alchemist
2004 : Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Destiny
2005 : Gankutsuou : The Count of Monte Cristo
2006 : Code Geass : Lelouch of the Rebellion
2007 : Code Geass : Lelouch of the Rebellion
2008 : Mobile Suit Gundam 00
2009 : Eden of the East
2010 : K-ON!!
2011 : Puella Magi Madoka Magica
>>
>>20273063
too late. Sayaka knows about it and will try it on Kyoko.
>>
>>20273067
>2011 : Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Ha, ha.
>>
>>20273005
>>20273067

The fuck is up with your massive lists? Seriously, what the hell?
>>
>>20273081
Yuri makes everything better it seems
>>
>>20273082

I could point out a god dozen of those that can't be saved o r made better, yuri or not.
>>
>>20273081
Those are the #1 anime of the year from 1979-2011 according to NewType/Animage.
>>
>>20273095
>NewType/Animage

Well, that pretty much invalidates that list from anyone taking it seriously, then.
>>
>>20273095
>SEED
>Geass
>00
Just because they were the most popular doesn't make them good.
>>
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>>20272839
Can the Soul Gem do corrective eye surgery?
From madoka wiki:
"She wears glasses and braided hair in her early insecure depiction shown in Episode 10. Later in that episode with renewed determination she undoes her braids and uses her soul gem to correct her vision. From then on she no longer required the use of glasses."
>>
>>20273106

Case in point, SEED Destiny
>>
>>20273109
Probably. It is fucking magic after all.
>>
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Oh hey. Chiaki IS buying porn after all. Hahaha.

Probably pointless to vote now since Deculture is quite likely writing the post, but...

[]This...this is my first time...
>>
>>20273077

Uh, no. It's exactly not too late. :)

We told Sayaka that we found this out accidentally, when we dunked our soulgem in alcohol and then ended up licking it when we were drinking.

We tell Midori, to tell that story. She saw us discover it, and decided to try it herself.

It goes from "Accidentally gave somebody else an orgasm using magic," to "Accidentally discovered a method of masturbation using magic, while drinking. Friend decided to try it herself."
>>
>>20273120
We told her we tried to lick it clean. As a deliberate act.
>>
>>20273126

Yes, but we didn't suggest that we knew what would happen when we did so.
>>
>>20273119
Jesus christ, look how adorable that Misaka is.

I think i can feel my teeth rotting out.
>>
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>>20273119
This will be interesting.
>>
>>20273095
>>20273105
Apologies. List is by Animage only.
http://animegrandprix.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/anime-grand-prix-1979-2011.html
>>
>>20273129
>hey shoot yourself in the head!
>won't that kill me?
>I don't know, it's never happened to me!
>>
>>20273142
It actually won't. MAGIC! AIN'T GOTTA EXPLAIN SHIT!
>>
>>20272906

You blink at this seemingly aggressive and upfront way of salesmanship. This wouldn't be out of place, really, in a supermarket or in a convenience store. You've been accosted before by such well-meaning attendants, cheerfully and politely insisting that you MUST try this sample of the new cup ramen that they're peddling, or avail of the day's special promo where you could potentially win exciting prizes through lottery draws, which you almost always end up losing.

It's nothing you're not used to, that much is sure. What you're not used to, of course, is that the same approach that you've been persuaded to purchase cheap, junky instant noodles is being used to persuade you to buy filthy pornography.

You clear your throat after a few moments, before murmuring something to her, suddenly unable to meet her warm, inviting gaze.

"I'm...sorry, I don't think I got all of that. Did you say that you were buying a gift for someone...?" She blinks up at you, and it's only now that you notice that she's a few inches shorter than you. Not quite as short as Misaka, but enough that she's looking up, and you see yourself reflected in her brown eyes as she leans closer.

You avert your eyes again and nod.

[1/3]
>>
>>20273165

It's then that 'Yuri<3' smiles a bit wider and claps her hands. "That makes it much more simpler, then! Let's step into the shop proper so we can have accommodate you." It's then that she leans in closer, uncomfortably so, and whispers into your ear.

"Don't worry. I can tell it's your first time. We'll get you want your 'friend' wants, and she'll be very happy!"

She draws back, beaming, before taking your hand and pulling you forward, into the shop proper. Tugging you along with a surprising strength that you can't help but allow yourself to be dragged.

"My name's Yuri! The heart sign says you have to say it extra nice, alright? What's yours?" She says this over her shoulder, beaming at you.

You manage to stutter your first name before the shop finally swallows you both in its hedonistic jaws.

What did you get yourself into, this time?

[2/3]
>>
>>20273183
>What did you get yourself into, this time?
Horrible things, Deculture. Horrible things.
>>
OH GOD! OH FUCK! It's a witch!
A witch controlled by Pinky!
And perverts! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! PANIC!
>>
>>20273183
>and she'll be very happy!

"I'm sure HE will be, yes."
>>
>>20273126

I thought we told (or implied) Sayaka that we licked our OWN soulgem clean. We didn't know what would happen ahead of time -- I don't think we were expecting an orgasm?-- so yeah, it was an accidental discovery to begin with.

We just make sure that the story is that we tried this on our own Soulgem first, while Midori was around and decided to try it herself too.

>>20273142

Uhh... We did not know what licking a Soulgem would do. We know BREAKING it would kill you. We also know what shooting yourself in the head does.

We had discovered that dunking a Soulgem could make the Puella Magi drunk. So we tried to see what else can happen, and it turned out that licking it gives an orgasm.
>>
>>20273165
>>20273183

God dammit woman, we're not shy, we're just drunk and socially inept.
>>
>>20273214
I'm just going to vote for saying "Yeah, I got you."
>>
>>20273183

. . .

Now, if you're going to be honest and be a mature adult about things, you would fully admit that the inside of a Toranoana branch shop is, in fact, not all that bad. In fact, it's actually more well-organized and free of clutter than you expected.

The entire shop is one long aisle, with the layout made just so that a casual buyer can easily browse while walking. The goods on sale are in properly-labeled, easy-to-reach shelves and appealingly tidy displays. A full examination of the selection available made by just strolling through and making your way back to the entrance.

Just like a convenience store. Except instead of overpriced snacks and drinks in, say, aisle one, instead there's schoolgirl pornography and bottled artificial female bodily fluids.

No one else seems to be in the shop with you for the moment, and you give thanks for that small mercy.

"So, Chiaki-san." Yuri (with the <3) says as she turns neatly on her heel to face you. "Do we know what your friend is into? We have a really wide selection, thanks to all the kinds of interests people are getting into, these days." She looks you up and down, before tilting her head slightly to the side. "...Maybe Magical Girls? Is your friend into magical girls, Chiaki-san? We have a lot of material concerning them, but they're heavily tied into the tentacle stuff..."

How do you respond?
>>
>>20273304

I'm thinking no. That sends entirely the wrong message.

Aside from that, what's popular?
>>
>>20273304
no magic girl porn

what's popular aside from that and incest?
>>
>>20273323
And no NTR as well.
>>
>>20273304
Whatever a young man, probably in his 20s, spent most of his life at a hikokomori would like.

Maybe maids and/or lesbians would work.
>>
>>20273328

I'm fairly sure we aren't in enough of a relationship with anyone that encouraging him with NTR porn could possibly impact us in a negative manner
>>
>>20273197
Haha
>>
I have to sleep. Try not to add the shop clerk to the harem, and try not to ruin Misaka's brother by making him relapse on his 2d addiction too hard while i'm out, hm?
>>
>>20273315

So, our reply would be something like "No, that would give him the wrong idea and make things awkward." ?
>>
>>20273304
Deculture being DAT DM with his self-insert fetishes...
and I *LIKE* it

Yuri pr0n please!
>>
>>20273315
>>20273323
>>20273329

All together then!

"No. No magical girl porn. That would send entirely the wrong message. Oh. And no incest."

"Whatever you have that'd be popular with a young man, who has spent much of his life as a hikkikomori. I dunno. Maids? Lesbians?"

"... Actually, no maids. She might still have pictures of that, and then we're right back to the entirely the wrong message thing."
>>
>>20273354
We have to suggest more than just lesbians though. We need a bit of variety.

We should probably toss some schoolgirls into the mix, maybe some shrine maidens.
>>
>>20273373

I'm sure that Yuri <3 will have suggestions. She did offer to guide us through our porn purchasing experience, you know.
>>
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official madoka bath salts, just thought i'd leave this here
>>
>>20273354

Also, it is vitally important that we provide ABSOLUTELY NO context to go with these comments.
>>
>>20273390
"Now you too can smell like a little girl!"
>>
>>20273394
You think well. I like the way you think, I'm seconding this.
>>
>>20273354

No loli, either!

Would be kinda creepy.
>>
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>>20273390
god damnit japan
>>
>>20273428
I...I don't think these do what you think they do
>>
>>20273304
Missionary sex between consenting adults for the strict purpose of procreation.
>>
>>20273496
Seeing as I don't bath that is very likely. What do bath salts do?
>>
>>20273509
You sick sick fuck. We don't even have any idea how far the brother's fetishes go, we could creep or disgust him by going that far, and it'd be far to forward and presumptuous of us to bring him that level of filth.
>>
>>20273512
Apart from being an euphemism for "synthetic designer drugs"?
>>
>>20273354
Oh, I don't know, I'm sure Chiaki has some morbid curiosity about the popular perception of magical girls, and it's not as if she's limited to buying porn only for her host.
>>
>>20273527

We don't need porn. We have alcohol, painkillers and Midori for that.
>>
>>20273536
And pancakes. Pancakes, man.
>>
>>20273521
I just want to point out this is actually true.
Because manga like that normally ends with pregnancy stuff, which many don't like.
>>
>>20273354

"...Right." A rather warm and cute smile quirks up the corners of the shop attendant's lips, and you see the temptation of breaching your privacy through certain pointed questions dancing in her eyes. Nothing seems to come out of it, though. "No Magical Girls, no Maids, and certainly no incest. Anything else that a healthy young man in his twenties that may have not been spending as much time as he should outdoors may be interested in. Got it." She nods again. "That narrows down our choices some, actually. If you'll follow me, Chiaki-san?"

You do so as she leads you deeper into the shop, the scent of newly-printed books quite refreshingly strong in the air, alongside what seems like Yuri<3's own perfume. It's a rather nostalgic scent, one you've breathed in with relish before. You just can't place what it is or where you've sampled it, but it's vaguely fruity. Not at all bad.

"We may as well look at the most popular stuff we have, Chiaki-san, with the exceptions that you've noted kept in mind." Yuri<3 gestures to the biggest display shelf to your right. "Netorare or NTR is one of our top sellers," The attendant says, her dainty fingers brushing along the shrink-wrapped cover of Tomodachi, Where's My Waifu?.

"A mainstay of course is anything related to schoolgirls, that never really gets out of style." She waves the same hand towards a large stack of manga lovingly titled Nice Boat, featuring schoolgirls doing everything from playing light music to doing their taxes.

[1/2]
>>
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>>20273596
Lovingly titled Nice Boat.
>>
>>20273596
The fuck? Doing taxes is sexy now? Also. I'm right. ThisisPinky!AAAAAAAAHHHH!
>>
>>20273596
>alongside what seems like Yuri<3's own perfume. It's a rather nostalgic scent, one you've breathed in with relish before
Yup, it was a trap all along.
>>
>>20273613
>>20273611

Alright, keep our guard up and prepare ourselves to turn some of the gore mags into something more... haptic.
>>
>>20273536
No, no, not for that, just to get a fresh perspective on how the rest of the world views magical girls.
Plus, who knows what kinds of new uses they've invented for soul gems.

Guess it's irrelevant now though.
>>
>>20273596

Yuri<3 then nods towards another shelf, where 'Swordswoman Asses Only' and '-4 STR' is featured quite prominently. "We've also seen quite a resurgence in High Fantasy stuff. Monstergirls, women in bikini armor...it's been a niche interest for the longest time, but now it's in full force. I think this is the safest choice, Chiaki-san, as not only it offers the mainstream appeal of Vanilla, but it spices it up with something new without being a bit too...out there, you know?" She grins at you.

"Of course, if you really want to be risky with the entire deal, and you look like a person who takes risks often - you can always buy into some of the niche material we have." She gestures to a rather tall pile of books. "Material related to traps or boys dressing up as girls are our most popular niche, but they're not selling as much as they used to, hence the promo."

It's then that she smiles, again, and places both hands on her hips.

"Now, what'll it be, Chiaki-san?"

What do you buy for Misaka's older brother?
>>
>>20273630
>just to get a fresh perspective on how the rest of the world views magical girls.

Because we aren't drinking enough Kong already.
>>
>>20273636
-4 STR sounds good. Better not take any risks to make this even more embarrassing than it already is.
>>
>>20273636
righty, let just get the monstergirl/-4 str stuff. They'll be easy to kill when pink sneak attacks from the books
>>
>>20273636

Yeah, let's go with -4 Str.

She sounds like she knows what she's doing.
>>
>>20273636
>-4 STR
Oh LoL
>traps not selling well
This makes no sense. It goes against their existance.
The point is to TRAP you. Even into buying manga based on them.
>>
>>20273636
Gonna jump on the -4 Str bandwagon.
>>
>>20273636
"Actually
...
Do you have something called »The Flesh of Fallen Angels«?

Just curious."
>>
>>20273665
No.
>>
>>20273636

doubting -4str or the "nice boat" option, i will support one of these two.

>paranoia
>paranoia
>paranoia
>breakfast

i need to eat something before all this plot.
>>
>>20273668
Better trigger the trap (no pun intended) now than waiting for it to catch us off guard.
>>
Can you guys recommend some (preferably fantasy or scifi) noir?
I haven't read much of the genre and want to better know what to expect.
>>
>>20273683
No. Don't trigger the trap. Never trigger the trap. Always expect it to be triggered, but never do so yourself. You just might, MIGHT, not trigger it.
>>
>>20273683

Y'know, getting all paranoid is not particularly useful, given we can't actually do anything about it whether it's a trap or not, given OMNIPOTENT GOD WITCH.

On a related note, let's buy some Nice Boat for Pinky while we're here.
>>
>>20273708
>On a related note, let's buy some Nice Boat for Pinky while we're here.

This.
>>
>>20273704

Raymond Chandler wrote some good shit.

Also, The Third Man is probably the ur-example of Noir Film.
>>
>>20273724

Wait. No. Third Man was one of the later ones. The Maltese Falcon.

Either way, both worth watching.
>>
Go with monstergirls. ask if she have only Fantasy themed stuff, or something more "estrous"
>>
>>20273719
>>20273708

Maybe if we give her porn, she will be distracted, and quit trying to make us go insane for a while!
>>
>>20273738
>estrous
I think you mean 'esoteric'
At least I hope you do.
>>
>>20273804
no, I meant "creative". language fumble, sorry.
>>
Something from the High Fantasy section. Swordswoman Asses Only and stuff.
>>
>>20273165
The image of murderface standing there blankly trying and losing the lottery is very amusing.

Although this may be way too late get some magical girl porn for Pinky
>>
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>>20273636
>'Swordswoman Asses Only'
Deculture, you glorious bastard!
>>
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>>20273650 >>20273648 >>20273646

You're a risk-taker, sure, but you make it a point never to gamble with your dignity - only with your life and maybe with your money (if the payoff is good enough, that is). So you go with her recommendation as the safest option, nodding towards the display of books featuring scantily-clad girls with swords and slavering male protagonists touching fluffy tails.

"Ah, a fine choice, Chiaki-san." Yuri<3 smiles, seemingly glad that you've played right into her hands by following her suggestion. She steps towards the stack you indicated and immediately picks up five full-color books, all of them hard-bound. "I'll get you the top-reviewed books in that series and ring it up as a gift set. That'll be around 5000 yen, plus another 500 for the giftwrapping. Would you want to avail of our Touch Fluffy Tail promo? For another 500 yen, we'll toss in a limited-edition pillowcase cover of -4 STR's most popular heroine, ElfSlave Watdo-chan! Comes in hypoallergenic polyester and the print's guaranteed to remain intact and vibrant even with moisture damage or rough play!"

You blink at her, trying to catch up with her sheer enthusiasm, before you finally give up and nod. Sure, a pillowcase. Why not. They still use pillows up there in Siberia, right? Or do they just use bear fur for everything?

"Alright. Please give me a few moments, Chiaki-san, and I'll have everything ready for you. And what will be our method of payment for this transaction?"

You wordlessly give her your cash card, and she accepts it almost reverently. "Alright, Chiaki-san. A moment and I'll get back to you. Please, feel free to look around while you wait! I won't be too long!"

[1/2]
>>
Why not check what they have for yuri?
>>
>>20273904
>Elfslave Watdo-chan

Remind me to set you on fire later.
>>
>>20273904
Look around, but don't move. Threat check!
>>
>>20273904
Look for something for Pinky in the yuri section

Hopefully that or alcohol can distract her from giving us trouble for a while
>>
>>20273904

You manage to nod at Yuri (with a <3) as she scampers off towards the back of the shop, where the register lay in plain sight, and it's then that you find yourself alone at this specific corner of the doujin shop. You might as well browse since you're already here - even if you don't really buy into this sort of thing.

What do you look at? You probably have time to root around one of the sections.

[]The Magical Girl Section.
[]The Gothique Section.
[]The Marine Biology Section.
>>
>>20273922
[x] The "Waiting at the Entrance" section
>>
Morbid curiosity

[X] The Magical Girl Section.
>>
>>20273922
>marine biology
my interest is piqued, no matter what badness this ends in.
>>
>>20273922
All of the above
>>
>>20273636
>'Swordswoman Asses Only' and '-4 STR'
"I'll take both those fantasy ones. And give me one of the Magical Girls ones... you got me kinda curious. I mean ... no harm in checking one."
Well, they don't really talk about us in news, makes one wonder how close to truth this kind of "media" is.
>>
>>20273933
Goddammit /d/
>>
>>20273922
MG section!

Time to look at ourselves!
>>
>>20273928
Getting out of here alive is my choice.

No tentacle rape this thread please!
>>
>>20273922
MG section, possibly yuri subgenre

Get something that reflects what we are going through and may be used as a guide / pinky bait
>>
>>20273922

morbid fascination draws us to the magical girl section, though we can expect a load of tentacles which would make /d/ start to salivate.

>William Paevern

thanks for the character name captcha, i'll be useing that when i get the chance.
>>
>>20273922
[X]The Magical Girl Section.
The obvious choice.

>inb4 Chikai fan doujins
>>
How about Gothique?
>>
>>20273922
Marine Biology section.

We might find something about the flesh of fallen angels deep under the sea, located not far west from South America...
>>
>>20273941
Yes, I will ruin your quest by giving you all 'whyboner.jpg's all the time.
Not really, I will ruin it by replacing your characters cynicism with morbid curiosity.
We're already on that path.
>>
[x]The Magical Girl Section. obvious curiosity.
[x]The Gothique Section. because...uhm...because.
I'm in a tie for these. marine biology?...the Fate quest thread is that way.
>>
>>20273964

If that happens, we are going right back to the office and shooting QB repeatedly.
>>
>>20273971
We'd do that anyway

Look for Mami dojins while we are here though
>>
>marine biology
De geso~
>>
>>20273971
I vote for shooting Yuri<3 too. in the knees.
>>
>>20273992

Now now. Can't blame a simple retailer for the acts of some depraved perverts. Besides, we'll need her to tell us where the Circle responsible might be found.
>>
Let's look at some yuri doujinshi too while we are there.
>>
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>>20273987

Mami doujins, huh?
>>
File: 1344686144505.png-(Spoiler Image, 1.12 MB, 1252x1690, marine biology.png)
Spoiler Image, 1.12 MB
>[]The Marine Biology Section.
>Marine Biology
>>
>>20274003
Yep, Mami doujins

Preferably involving pancakes and naked aprons
>>
>>20274012

I laughed heartily.

Then I felt awful
>>
>>20274017
My work here is done.
>>
>>20274016
Only yuri ones though, they are the ones that apply to our situation.
>>
>>20274023

Unless, of course, we somehow hit it off with Misaka's bro.
>>
>>20274042
Probably not. We are bringing him porn, after all.
>>
>>20274042

Or Garcia attempts to redeem us by teaching us what it is to love.
>>
>>20274066

Yeah, but he could also be all like "this chick brings me porn and doesn't judge me too much, also my sister approves of her. I must claim her!"
>>
>>20274069
He's a hiki. "Chick acknowledges my existence" is probably enough.
>>
>>20274069

Can he cook pancakes?
>>
>>20274069
And then we are shooting him in the dick, because claiming for a nerd involves inappropriate touching.
>>
>>20273948 >>20273942 >>20273929

You make for the Magical Girl section. Gothique's all well and cute, but you're not quite into the frill-infested costumes and faux pipe-smoking the privileged female protagonists get up to. Marine biology's not your thing, either. You don't see the appeal of molluscs and oysters in your pornography, and just looking at the titles on display gives you a salty, briny taste in your mouth.

Ah. Here they are. You intentionally skip the titles that even so much as hint at cephelapod involvement, which is easy enough considering that the many-tentacled creatures feature quite prominently on the covers. Some of them are based on existing franchises, with quite the amusing titles. Futa Wa Penis Cure is one example. Cock Captor Sakura is another. Centering on the subjugation and comeuppance delivered to Magical Girls by way of well-endowed faceless men.

You go for the more interesting ones - the ones that feature Magical Girls having fun with other Magical Girls.

It's only after a few more shelves of such heretical material that you come upon a particularly-interesting title. One featuring a young, green-haired Magical Girl with the power to make anyone fall in love with her - and her Magical Girl love interest, one with short black hair, thick crimson glasses, and a perennial frown on her face. The title of the book is called The Adventures of Miracle Midori and Murder Mayumi, and it proudly boasts that it's been reprinted quite a number of times. The author's name, suspiciously enough, is Green Green.

You take a moment before pulling it out of the shelf and looking at it.

No. That's impossible. It's...no. That's patently ridiculous.

You try to lie to yourself more just as you hear Yuri<3 come up behind you, all smiles.

[1/2]
>>
>>20274042
Doubtful but true

I meant the situation currently, we can't really plan for contingencies when in character Chiaki has no reason to expect it, although given how things are going maybe harem is more applicable...
>>
>>20274085
Faust did this I just know it.
>>
>>20274069
>"This is the first girl I've seen in a year and probable the last one I'll see for the next couple months, I must claim her!"
FIFY

>inb4: Misaka's bother hit it of with some fellow lady scientist and they are having passionate sex on daily basis on the very same table where they develop weapons of mass destruction.
>>
>>20274096
>>20274085
Duh. Time to flip our shit and shoot Yuri.
>>
>>20274085
Duck and cover. Get a gun. Preferrably a big one. Bigger than a certain Desert Eagle.
>>
>>20274085
...Okay, we're adding that one to the pile.
>>
>>20274104

Fine. But only for the purposes of UNRELENTING MOCKERY.
>>
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>>20274096
>>Those titles
>>Those names
>>Faust did this I just know it.

It would be awesome if it were true.
>>
[X] Someone please explain the Nice Boat thing to me

Also, Iori related, NSFW
>>>/e/src/1344319635904.jpg
>>
>>20274085

>dat doujin info

oh god what.
>>
>>20274104
Yes we are
>>
>>20274085
Okay, so THIS is how much of a fangirl Midori was.
>>
>>20274085

...Okay, buying it, and casually reading it on the plane to see if she notices.
>>
>>20274118
Should this not be a trap...

(HAHA! Right.)

... I support this venture.
>>
>>20274085
Buy the yuri mangas
Buy them all
>>
So, Midori was drawing Midori x Murderface doujins before she got to meet Chiaki.

On the one hand, this is hilarious.
On the other hand, Chiaki probably is going to get raped by her subordinate.
>>
>>20274109
>>>/e/1496201

I hate links!

[X]Add weird doujin to pile, what the shit is in here
[X]Touch fluffy tail/press red button
>>
It has just occurred to me, but... Did Misaka not say her brother was FORMERLY a hikki? As in, he isn't anymore?
>>
>>20274151

You are correct. She mentioned that he used to be a hikki NEET but had gotten much better in recent years, or something to that effect.
>>
>>20274151
Everyone relapses occasionally.
>>
>>20274147
We don't actually know that it was Midori, it may be but at the same time she might have written it and someone else made it or she was actually unrelated.

Any which way is hilarious because we can use this
>>
>>20274155
>>20274158

We are totally going to spur his spiral back into uselessness and obsession with our gift, aren't we?
>>
>>20274161

And it will be glorious.
>>
"Chiaki-san! Your purchase, receipt, and card!" The shop attendant chimes as you turn to face her, a discreet pink paper bag without any label or logo of any sort thrust into your hand, the opening stapled shut. Your card and the receipt placed gently on top of your palm. "Oh, and I see you've been looking at one of our more popular releases!" Yuri<3's smile widens as she plucks the book from your hand. "This we're particularly proud of - do you know that the author actually resides here, in Mitakihara? She's quite the reclusive one as she's turned down our offers for signing sessions, but she did confirm that she does live in our very own city!"

That...well, that's just great, then. Good to hear it.

"I take it you're interested, then?" Yuri's smile is wide, but it falls just a bit. "But I've already rung up your purchases, so..." she falls silent for a moment, before smiling again. "Ah! Well, the Toranoana Virgin bonus is still valid, so please, take that as a gift for purchasing from us for the first time!"

You blink at this in surprise, and make to ask what the hell kind of bonus is that - but you shake your head and nod, instead. It's better this way, you think. Let the warp overtake you. Do not resist it.

Yes, this is a good pain.

[2/3]
>>
>>20274166

You thank the strange, eager shop attendant, and she blushes at this, before returning your bow.

"A-ah! The pleasure was all mine, Chiaki-san! Please, come again whenever you like! I'll attend to you personally!" It's then that she gives you a printed coupon. "Oh, and if you have time, please visit the snack shop beside us! That coupon gives you 40% off their most popular chocolate bar, Broblerone!"

You nod, and it's then that you make your way out of the shop.

You have just purchased pornography. This is a new low, even for you.

What do you do now?

[]Go to the snack shop and redeem the coupon.
[]Go call up Midori and check where they are.
[]Wait until your flight is called.
>>
>>20274161
>>We are totally going to spur his spiral back into uselessness and obsession with our gift, aren't we?

Yes, which will probably make Misaka hate Chiaki.

I'm hoping that Mami spots the "doujin gift" package and and stops this before Chiaki alienates Misaka too. On the other hand, the scene would be priceless >>20273119
>>
>>20274166
>in Mitakihara
Oh this shit is getting investigated

>and licklyh

Captcha supports licking
>>
>>20274168
Snack shop

We must use the coupon
>>
File: 1344688520544.jpg-(47 KB, 500x455, Sephiroth demands an expl(...).jpg)
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...

...

Well, uh. How does this sort of thing happen?

... IS this sort of thing happening? I mean, is this real and with some weird reason behind it? Or are we dreaming? Or in some kind of illusion?


Anyway... When was the book made, and does it say anything about the author?


What can we do with our control over Midori's Soulgem again? That is, can we sense where she is with it? Or look through her eyes or otherwise borrow her senses? I'm thinking of doing a reality check, starting by seeing if we can tell where Midori is...

Next step is, uh... maybe look at something with numbers? Supposedly numbers don't stay the same in dreams, and they're nonsensical. So if you check a watch in a dream, it gives weird numbers, and isn't consistent moment to moment.
>>
>>20274171

Yeah, but then we "rescue" her brother from from his recession with a quick fling., and she loves us forever, again.
>>
>>20274168
[X]Go call up Midori and check where they are.
[X]Go to the snack shop and redeem the coupon.

In that order.

Mention that she's good at drawing.
>>
>>20274168
>[x]Go to the snack shop and redeem the coupon.
>[x]Go call up Midori and check where they are.
Multitasking, ho!
>>
>>20274171
I honestly doubt we could alienate Misaka.
She might get utterly lost for words which would be interesting or she might go into hyperdrive
>>
>>20274168
[X]Go call up Midori and check where they are.

Who needs chocolate? It's too sweet and it'll probably have honey and so on. Won't mesh well with our diet of cigarettes and whiskey.
>>
>>20274168
>[]Go call up Midori and check where they are.
>[]Wait until your flight is called.


no snacks from the shop nearby.
>>
>>20274168

Check up on midori while buying snacks.
>>
>>20274168
[x]Go to the snack shop and redeem the coupon.
We can split it with Midori and Misaka.
>>20274161
Oh psh. It's a couple of monstergirl doujins, he'll be fine.
Unless he investigates Monster Girl Quest, in which case his life will be over.
>>
USE COUPON! Broblerone to the rescue! It's the broest of sweets!
>>
[X]Go to the snack shop and redeem the coupon.
[X]Go call up Midori and check where they are.
>>
>>20274168

Let's go check out the snack shop. Non-pornographic gifts are also good. They will help overcome the awkwardness of the porn.

>>20274175

No. There has been a sufficiency of licking. No more licking.
>>
>>20274180
It is happening, we just stepped into one of those places where the world stops making any attempt at sense and reality goes to sulk in a corner
>>
>>20274168

>[x] Call up Midori and check where they are

I am frankly disappointed with this adult fiction store. No a copies of the Economist nor any speculative history or documentary works, nor even a Wall Street Journal in sight.
>>
>>20274168
>Broblerone

You people know that's going to be drugged yes?

80/20 bet.
>>
>>20274180
If we're in dreamland then we're fucked. Walking onto the plane is going to be a temp Null Zone.
>>
>>20274203

It's not like we were planning on eating it ourselves! It's a gift! For our hosts!
>>
>>20274203
thats kind of the whole idea

Let's feed Misaka some broblerone
>>
>>20274203
We're a magical girl, we can probably handle it.
At the very least, sharing it with Misaka will give us warning as to it's effects.
>>
>>20274175
We must lick soul gem
>>
>>20274198
Impossible! there is never enough licking

Although I want to know if Sayaka has tried out our advice yet?
>>
>>20274168

snacks are good addition to our questionable presents, after that we can check on Misaka and Midori and just make sure all 3 of us get on that plane on time.

IF Misaka hasn't been arrested for trying to sabotage/improve on the plane's engines.
>>
>>20274218
>At the very least, sharing it with Misaka will give us warning as to it's effects.
Sharing it with Midori is gonna get us to join Mile High Club. While high.
>>
>>20274226

We suggested it to her, like, fifteen minutes ago! Probably not.
>>
>>20274230
>Mile High Club. While high.
High Mile High Club? Sounds exclusive.
>>
>>20274218
We're not feeding risky foods to the only human in the group.

Feed it to the cannon fodder
>>
>>20274118

Ahaha, no. She already believes that Chiaki has some desire for her. If she sees us reading THIS book, she'll become convinced that its definitely true, and that our denials earlier were just repression or shyness. Also, anybody else who notices it, is probably going to draw the wrong conclusions and, uh.

No, we find out what the hell is... well, what the hell. We maintain our blank, "un-amused Chiaki is un-amused, and wondering if she is going to have to choke a witch" scowling face.

"Midori. When you said you'd always been a big fan of mine..."

We also don't want to see any of these doujin to make their way back home. Or to any of our friends.
>>
>>20274248
Who gives a fuck about people we'll never see again on the plane?
>>
>>20274226
>>20274231
Speaking of Sayaka - we might have missed one awkward fact. The Kyouko's butler suit was not made based on _her_ sizes, it was made with _ours_. She just picked it up in a hurry when QB gave us that mess of an assignment.
>>
>>20274248

Having said that, you realize that Mami is going to spot, it, and within two hours, Sayaka will be phoning us to mock us, and Kyubei will be commenting on the stabilizing effect a relationship has had on our personality.
>>
[x]Get Brobelone, don't eat it. When we're on the plane, use Midori as the canary in the mineshaft. If it makes her drugged in a bad way, then use our connection to make her fall asleep for the rest of the flight or something.
>>
>>20274248

If push comes to shove, we could always smack her upside the head with it and say "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?!??"
>>
>>20274257

Nah I mean that none of our colleagues ever notice it. So we aren't bringing the doujin back to home/base.

>>20274260

We can alternate between threatening her (pancakes or no pancakes) and asking her to consider how Iori will react after we just got done explaining to her how, 'no, we weren't having sex with anybody, really'.

We can also bring the doujin up when Mami ISN'T around.
>>
What the fuck is broblerone?
What is it based on?
>>
>>20274285
"Oh, yes! Punish me, Chiaki-sensei! I've been a naughty girl~"
>>
I wouldn't be surprised if those porns whith notMurderface were very popular at the office, among the low ranked magical girls. A dark secret only the higher up are not aware of, until today.
>>
The obvious solution is stow away The Unspeakable Doujin in the shield and never speak of it again.

Ever.
>>
>>20274310

This would go a way to explaining why everyone thought we were fucking her.
>>
>>20274313
It's a popular sell though.
>>
>>20274258
I don't think they're too different. They're both pretty flat and Kyoko might be a bit shorter, that's about it. And she could always get Mami to alter it.
>>20274303
Toblerone you dolt.
>>
>>20274231
And she wasn't on duty because she is looking after Kyoko.

She has had more than enough time to try it
>>
>>20274303
"Magical" Girl Quest
>>
>>20274310

Huh.

Er. In that case, maybe asking Mami (rather than avoiding) may be worth it. Learn what, if anything, people think/read behind our backs.
>>
>>20274319

Good point. And >>20274310 probably got the buying demographic right too.

At any rate, it probably means its time to apply some more brain bleach courtesy of the esteemed Mr.Kong.

Side note, I wonder if Mayumi was one of the names that Chiaki went through during those two years where she was coming up with a new name every time she forgot who she was.
>>
>>20274319

Hmm. This is kind of odd; this... ah, work of speculative romantic fiction, seems to sell very well and has been reprinted many times.

If the author is who we think it is, then perhaps Midori is not as destitute as she initially let on? She surely would have made enough to pay the bills at the very least, unless her parents run the Japanese equivalent of those restaurants regularly featured on Kitchen Nightmares or such.
>>
>>20274322
Homura is actually flatter than kyouko
>>
>>20274353

Doujin authors frequently sell at just high enough to cover costs. Presumably because otherwise copyright holders start getting pissy.
>>
>>20274322
I have no idea what that is, which is why I asked.

>>20274324
So a psycadelic stimulant?
I hope it causes halucinations.
>>
>>20274353
Well yeah. It's not like this is still reality. -4str? Broblerone? Efl Whatdo-chan? This is one of her illusions.
>>
>>20274367
Then google it.
>>
>>20274367
>he doesn't know what Toblerone is
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toblerone
TRIANGLES, MAN
CHOCOLATE TRIANGLES
>>
>>20274356

Which means, if it's a tailored fit, then her would press against the shirt just enough to provide some tantalising definition.

No wonder sayaka's going nuts for it.
>>
>>20274370

Bear in mind that we are in a world where a mutant cat runs a highly successful corporation which is, itself, a front for an assassination/bodyguarding muscle-for-hire thing known as the Officio Assassinatorium.

It is not wholly implausible.
>>
>>20274313
Then accidentally pull it out in some boss fight. Brilliant.
>>
>>20274397

It would be the ultimate distraction against Pinky, you must admit!
>>
>>20274393

Unlikely to be anything close to "tailored". It was made to three numbers we misremembered down the phone at Iori, while drunk.
>>
>>20274364

Huh. I wonder how those guys make a living, then. Surely they have to have some sort of profit to gain from that, unless it's just some way to boost their popularity. They'd have to hold at least one other job if that was the case.
>>
>>20274412
They usually have a day job.
ZUN for instance used to worked for Taito.
>>
>>20274412

They work. Comiket is a twice yearly thing. It's not like they're producing a thirty page doujin every week.
>>
wait...

She took our credit card and went to the back.
SHE HAS CLONED OUR CARD!!!!
>>
>>20274412

As Justice from Doujin work would say, it's a labor of love. BTW anyone interested in the world of doujins at all should read Doujin work, it's interesting and funny as hell.
>>
>>20274425

Doesn't say she "went out back" anywhere. She probably just went to the register to swipe the card through.
>>
>>20274439
>>20274425
She ran it through her slot.
>rformaE cock
Dammit captcha, this is a yuri quest
>>
>>20274439

Well, I happened one time I went on holiday in Japan.
Anyways, into the game proper.
>[X]Go call up Midori and check where they are.
>>
>>20274168
[X]Go call up Midori and check where they are.
>>
250 Posts about buying pornin a quest.
I am impressed /tg/.

Unrelated but we can do spoiler image now?
>>
>>20274472

And text. Moot switched it on a couple days ago. Try not to use it for absolutely everything.
>>
>>20274472
it is possible but why do we need to?
>>
>>20274472
And we don't particularly give a fuck
This isn't srsbsns time so goodbye
>>
File: 1344691666618.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 18 KB, 224x180, spoiler.jpg)
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>>20274472
>>20274480
Quite the slow one.
>>
>>20274482

For concealing pornography, obviously.
>>
>>20274461
>Well, I happened one time I went on holiday in Japan.

That's because silly gaijin tourist. Of course they're going to try and fuck you over.
>>
>>20274492
The mod screams no. His mad is delicious.
>>
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Okay, time for me to go. I'll catch the rest of the quest in the archive later. It's been fun, /tg/!

I leave you all with one last silly doodle, inspired by the "let's get Pinky a gift" comments
>>
>>20274495
Nice repost.
>>
>>20274495
This is hilarious. Please never stop making those.
>>
>>20274495
Poor pinky

>>20274501
He made it and some in this thread may not have seen it yet
>>
>>20274189 >>20274186 >>20274178

You transfer the bag o' porn to your free hand as you stuff The Adventures of Miracle Midori and Murder Mayumi into your inventory with your other. You're going to have to confront Midori about it sooner or later, but damned if you're going to be seen reading it in public. Your hedonism has its limits, and your disregard for what other people think of you is no exception.

Other people being the blonde-haired goddess of victory that has certain views about such material, of course.

You take out your smartphone and dial Midori's number just as you walk towards the snacks shop - and in contrast to the walk-in Toranoana branch shop, it's more of a stall than anything else, and the grumpy-faced attendant nods at your coupon before gesturing towards the stack of Broblerone candy bars.

You hold up the phone to your ear while examining one of the bars for sale - it has quite the fetching mascot on its cardboard packaging, a blue-haired girl smiling up happily at the viewer. Black bars plastered over her otherwise clotheless frame.

Midori answers your call just as you hold up three fingers to the attendant, who nods and accepts your cash card.

"W-wait, Misaka-chan! Don't bother the nice engineers--H-hello, Matsuda-sempai? Sorry, but is it okay if you--MISAKA-CHAN!"

"MISAKA DOES WHAT MISAKA WANTS! BROCCOLI HEAD CANNOT STOP MISAKA!"

Seems that your subordinate has her hands full.

What do you do?

[]Tell her to get her shit together and get Misaka under control.
[]Bail her out by talking to Misaka yourself.
>>
>>20274508
Bail her out, we did tell her to follow Misaka's orders and we know what she is like
>>
>>20274508

If she gets arrested, we can't glare at her and rub her nose in the doujin until she apologises.

Also, Kyuubei will probably take the bail money out of our pay.

Get her to put Misaka on the line.
>>
>>20274508
Put Misaka on. Tell her to behave or she doesn't get any chocolate.
In fact, we might just eat all of it ourselves.
Then start unwrapping it, loudly, right near the phone mic.
>>
>>20274508
Bail her out
>>
>>20274508
>Misaka
No surprises.
Tell her to put Misaka on, we're good at handling her.
They just met and Misaka doesn't like her (yet).
>>
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>>20274508
[x]Bail her out by talking to Misaka yourself.

< Also I wanted to use that pic for awkward shopping but I was late to the thread.
>>
>>20274508
>[x]Bail her out by talking to Misaka yourself.
>>
>>20274508

[]Bail her out by talking to Misaka yourself.

no point getting in to trouble, we have places to go and bears to hunt.

also some candy if we have more than enough
>>
>>20274508

Well Misaka only likes to take orders from us.
So we should be the ones to tell her to knock it off.
>>
>>20274508
[X]Bail her out.

"Misaka, I was just about to get you some Toblerone, but if you're not going to behave, I guess I'll have to eat it all myself."
>>
>>20274508
...yeah, we're gonna have to handle that one ourselves.

[X] Bail her out.

Try bribing her with these Broblerone bars. Who knows, maybe they really are drugged.
>>
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>>20274085

You totally didn't tell me you'd be doing threads again so soon! B-baka.
>>
>Marine biology section

I see nasu has branched out then
>>
>>20274621
Twitter, mate. The only thing it's useful at.
>>
It went so quiet all of the sudden.
>>
>>20274754

Seems kinda quiet in general today. I guess noone was expecting the thread so less people than usual.
>>
>>20274757
>>20274754
And we are waiting for Deculture to post
>>
>>20274759

Yes, but generally while we are waiting for Deculture to post we get into massive arguments about whether Iori is a bitch or not, and who our collective waifu should be.

For the record: Mami.
>>
>>20274767
for the record: faust
>>
>>20274780

Go to bed, Faust.
>>
>>20274767
I would personally try to go for all of them if possible
>>
>>20274785
you don't really think i'd waste so much time observing Matsuda if I didn't have an interest in her, do you?
>>
>>20274767

You know, Mami hasn't ever mentioned her supposed 'husband'. And wasn't he supposed to be going to the same place as us?
>>
>>20274805

Shhh. I think if we ignore it, it'll go away.
>>
>>20274785

Faust draws porn.
>>
>>20274754

Just wait until the next requisiti-, er, shipping cycle. I'm sure there will be plenty of arguing to go around. The weekend threads tend to be quieter anyhow.
>>
>>20274767
All of them
Or Mami, Midori and Iori in various roles and Misaka as little sister with Kyoko as bro
>>
>>20274805

NTR is a well established Japanese tradition.
>>
>>20274757
>>20274767


See? Gotten lively again!
>>
>>20274767

The next time Faust bugs us, I actually kind of want Chiaki to wonder aloud just what kind of fixation Pinky has on us to bother us so often.
>>
>>20274805
Ex husband if the last thing posted is anything to go by
>>
>>20274844
I will support you!
>>
>>20274844
I want to either wave a bottle of booze at her or hand her then green green porn
>>
>>20274767
For the record, we should study the material drawn by Midori (without telling her) and given the opportunity (or more like "make the opportunity") reenact some part of it (non-lewd, I assume manga made by girl for girls that like girls also has some plot)... the sudden realisation that Chiaki knows delivered that way will be way better than just telling her.

And then drop the questions.
>>
>>20274805
Who says her husbando was a man?
>>
>>20274853

Or both!
>>
Gentlemen ready the ships!
>>
>>20274853
>Faust as drinking buddy

Yeah, that'll end well.
>>
what a fucking stupid idea for a quest
>>
>>20274858

Do you really, really think that acting out a part of a... What would the ship name be? MidoMurder? Close enough. A MidoMurder doujin, which she probably wrote, in front of her, would be a good idea? In terms of not getting us raped and/or causing emotional breakdowns in those close to us?

Because it sounds like a TERRIBLE IDEA to me.
>>
>>20274860
Shitty writefag from before who had his character married to her
>>
According to twitter, OP had to deal with some last-minute snafu, but is back now.
>>
>>20274888
>In terms of not getting us raped and/or causing emotional breakdowns in those close to us?
She wouldn't dare to force Chiaki into anything and she's tough enough to take a bit of teasing. It's not gonna get any more awkward than asking her outright but it will certainly be more fun.
>>
>>20274911

Sorry, FUN fun, or Dwarf Fortress fun? I can honestly see it going either way.
>>
We could just namedrop the names of the doujin characters, and see if/how Midori reacts to them?
>>
>>20274943
Or we could ask her if she knows any good MG doujins.
>>
>>20274943

Given our previous success rate with: a) subtlety and b) accurately reading the reactions of other people, I suspect it would be easier to just ask her if she has been drawing porn of us.
>>
>>20274539 >>20274528 >>20274527

You nod in thanks as the snacks stall attendant gives you back your card, your receipt, and your purchase of three highly suspect chocolate bars. At the same moment, you ask Midori to get Misaka on the line. The eccentric arms dealer always had her moods - she was still a child, after all, and there's no getting around that. At the very least, you know that she listens to you.

"Murderface!" Misaka all but screams into your ear, making you wince and pull the device back. "Please be telling Broccoli Head to stop trying to order Misaka around! This one just need to talk to the ground engineers - OF COURSE MISAKA KNOWS HOW TO READ, THAT SAYS OFF LIMITS! IT IS FOR STUPID PEOPLE ONLY!"

You let Misaka get her tantrum well on the way before speaking three words. Three words that gets the young arms dealer to stop right in her tracks, all trace of her earlier hyperactivity erased.

"...Chocolate? You bought Misaka chocolate?"

Yes, you did, and if Misaka stopped trying to get Midori arrested, you'll give her half your share, too.

"Nrgh...fine, fine. Misaka will behave. But only because Murderface asked! A-and don't forget about what you said! Misaka is always sad whenever Murderface forgets!"

Of course you won't forget. You ask her then to put Midori back on.

[1/2]
>>
>>20274943

We can just go about our business as usual. But just call her "Magnificent Midori" at the right moment.
>>
In the rate this is going we won't go on the plane until next time, however when we do. I think we should ask Midori some questions.

1) When did you find out that you hadn't signed up to be sailor moon?

2) What your relationship with your parents? (she doesn't seem that concerned about them, she has been gone for more then a week)

3) What is your incubators name?

If she tires to dodge the question, mentioned that you don't feel like tell QB and she asked for your trust. It would be hypocritical for her to not trust you with her former employers name.
>>
>>20274962
True but less amusing
And we may screw it up but I think Misaka won't understand it even with our attempts at subtly approaching the subject where she will if we just outright ask
>>
I say we should find some time to actually read the doujin before we drop any hints that we have it. It might give us some hilarious ideas in doing so. Alternately, it might tip us off that she's into something crazy like snuff and having that warning would be nice.
>>
>>20274978
We tried getting her old incubators name out of her before when she was drunk so I don't know how that would go

She may have called her parents during the times we weren't around her such as when we went into see Iori or when we left her alone at just about any time ( remember Mami has visited her while she was locked up as well ) or even while watching Misaka
>>
>>20274965

"...Wow. Seriously, Matsuda-sempai. You should really take up daycare, she just went from a hundred miles per hour to zero flat! How do you do it?"

You tell her to set that aside, and ask her where they are right now.

"W-well, er, we're at one of the main hangars, here. I managed to, uh, convince one of the guards on duty to let us through the maintenance gate. Don't ask how." She clears her throat. "Anyway, she's been running around asking questions, and I think she got one of them really mad at one point. I managed to drag her away before anything happened -- and then you called."

Ah. That explains it. In any case, you tell her to get Misaka back into the terminal proper, so that all three of you would be ready when your flight is called.

"Will do, Matsuda-sempai. Is there anything else?"

Is there? How do you reply? You probably would want to bring up the suspicious doujin at this time.
>>
>>20274978
Those have already been answered (more or less) in previous threads - mostly the first interrogation (the one that didn't involve licking).
>>
>>20275012

No, that's probably about it. Just checking in. Although you should probably be heading back towards the terminal fairly shortly, "Miracle Midori".
>>
>>20275012
No Deculture. We shall ask her face to face to see her reaction.
>>
>>20275012
This is perfect. >>20275025
>>
>>20275012

[x] Ask about how she convinced the guard instead.

Asking her about the book should be saved for when we can see her face. >:3
>>
>>20275012
"Don't tell Misaka, but there is some... adult stuff store right next to the one where I bought the chocolates. I was thinking maybe we could get some doujin or some such for her bother - you know, the guy could appreciate that... but I'd rather have second opinion on that, what would you say? Is it good idea or rather stupid one?"
>>
>>20275025
Basically this. Leave her a second or two to stutter in embarassment, than hang up before she has time to say anything.

Operation Troll The Subordinate is go.
>>
>>20275012
Deadpan tone as usual.
"So, do you draw porn of me?"
Pause.
"Is it good?"
>>
>>20275017

She hasn't actually mentioned the name. She just gave a description.
>>
>>20275025
This one. We can be more overt when we get on the plane and there are less people around to see us tear into her.
>>
>>20275055
This, but not in form of questions.. And _after_ we read the stuff.
>>
>>20275008

Well the difference is now she is supposed to be working for us.
Anyway don't ask for it now, face to face.

>[x]question
Do you like to draw stuff?
>>
Perhaps we should wait till after we've read the book to confront Midori. Then instead of getting angry or mad, we can simply critique her work.
>>
>>20275058

Eh. We don't particularly need the name. QB has description, MO, mannerisms, and a reasonable idea of the name of it's primary magical girl team.

If he cannot turn that into a name, we should not be working for him.
>>
We should actually look for artist name and notes in the book.
The description amounted to "green haired charming magical girl and her black haired magical girl minion have fun together"
But from Chiakis reaction at least one looked familiar.
If it really was her, this is a fun minion.
>>
>>20275082
Heh yeah
"it wasn't bad but I think the characters needed a little more motivation, it seemed they moved rather fast"
>>
>>20275055

That kinda sounds like we're interested in it. And which Midori might interpret as interest in her.

This:

"Are you drawing porn of me? Why the hell are you drawing porn of me."

seems more in-character. Maybe ask if (oh god) it's popular among magical girls so we know if we should go on a rampage anytime soon.
>>
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Nah, let's wait for the flight with that question.

Once Midori gets seatbelted, let us ask her casually If she likes to draw manga.

Let's see how well this one lies in a situation like that
>>
>>20275025

Seconding this.

We'll discuss the actual romantic fiction author thing later on.
>>
Hinting it on the phone would tip her off and give her time to steel herself. We should

[x] Wait to ask her on the plane to preserve her surprise and get the funniest/most informative reaction. Also maybe read it first.
>>
>>20275129
>Once Midori gets seatbelted, let us ask her casually If she likes to draw manga.
Seconding this. Maybe taking the doujin out instead while mentioning how you bought some manga to read during the flight.
>>
>>20275095

I don't think we should ask for the name for QB's sake. We should ask for the name to see if Midori trusts us.

Anyways, we should read the book before we start teasing Midori, she don't know for certain if she drew it or not. Deculture could be pulling a chobits
>>
>>20275012
Don't say anything about the doujin for now.
>>
>>20275025

You shake your head, a small smile on your face. "No, that's probably about it. Just checking in," you say. "Although you should probably be heading back towards the terminal fairly shortly...'Miracle Midori'."

Silence. Complete and utter silence. All you can hear is her breathing, which itself seems to catch immediately after you uttered those two last words.

"S-Sempai, it's not what you think--" It's after a few moments that a torrent of panicked words suddenly gush out from the other end of the line, each one laced with fear and desperation - and you end the call before she could say anything more. You place the phone back into your inventory, satisfied for now - and you surreptitiously pull out the suspicious doujinshi, picking carefully at the shrinkwrapped cover while you find a nice place to sit.

You're...just reading to pass the time. Yes. Until your flight is called.

You find an unoccupied bench overseeing the plane hangars, and you seat yourself there. You place the bag of pornography on your lap as you continue to carefully peel off the membranous plastic cover off of the luridly-drawn book.

You almost get to spreading its pages - to part its awaiting folds - when you feel something perch upon your shoulder. A familiar presence.

"What are you reading, Chiaki Matsuda? Aren't you a bit old for that sort of thing?"

Kyuubey. Figures.

How do you respond?
>>
>>20275246
Shove him from our shoulder. Fucking faggot cat.
>>
>>20275246
considering my underling seems to have written it.....


Then punt the cat
>>
>>20275246
... "ugh."
>>
>>20275246
I don't even know how old I am and I have no memories, so technically I turn two sometime next year. Goo goo gaa gaa.
>>
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>>20275246
You have seen NOTHING.
>>
>>20275246
Tear his head off and use it as a paperweight to hold the book open. A magical girl can read porno featuring totally-not-herself if she wants to.
>>
>>20275236
Someone else realises she might not have made it? Fucking amazing.
It could have been the creeper otakus for all we know.
If she knows it and DIDN'T make it, that would send worse signal from us than if she DID.
>>
>>20275246

"Wow, do you like staking the girls in your employ?" Pause "What are you doing here?"
>>
>>20275246
Timestop.

Pinky will probably be a much more enjoyable company to read Murderface porn.
>>
>>20275246

"You're never too old to need to schlick one out once in a while.

Now what do you want? I'm guessing you're not here to ask me to bring you a souvenir."
>>
>>20275246

Perhaps, but if I find out you licensed this, I will murder you.
>>
>>20275246
"Old? Don't you mean too young? Anyway, I'm only paying attention to my intern's hobbies, that's all."
>>
>>20275246
Never too old to read what people think of you
>>
"It's the latest hit among magical girls, I'm just curious about it"
>>
>>20275292
Seconding this
>>
>>20275320
>>20275302
These
>>
>>20275246

key here is to not panic, put the book back in our inventory and after that we'll give the little furry bastard our attention.
>>
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>>20275320
Holy shit, no.

I don't want QB recommending this to every girl in Officio while going
>But Murderface said It's cool...
>>
>>20275344
I don't think QB would recommend something WE do.
>>
>>20275347

Is that a chance we really want to take?
>>
>>20275347
It's not something Matsuda only is doing if It's fad among MGs
>>
>>20275302
I like this one.
>>
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>>
>>20275372

FUCK YOU, QB!
>>
>>20275347

If it brought increased loyalty from girls in the office whom we already know some of which are fangirls as ours? By him telling them that we sanctioned it?

Yes, he would totally troll us.
>>
>>20275391
Something tells me Chiaki's junior has already spread this up down and sideways in the office. We were dead before the bullet even hit.
>>
>>20275450
When would she have had the time to do so? I doubt there's much talk between the girls in different offices.
>>
>>20275450

Bets on Kumatora owning several copies of the doujin?
>>
>>20275460
If she didn't find out from the others then she would have it and every reprint I bet
>>
>>20275460

'Course. Two for archival, one for reading, and one for leaving on the pillow opposite her at night.
>>
You know, I think QB is here to give us a surprise.

"You have got a new passenger"
Magical Iori appears!
"Thank you Chiaki Matsuda for giving Iori a reason to join us"
>>
>>20275487
Two for archival still shrink wrapped, one for high quality scanning, one for reading at work, one for reading at home one for next to her pillow
>>
>>20275450

There's no need to make things WORSE by having QB go back to the main branch and spread around "oh, hey, guess what I saw Murderface intently reading?"

Captcha, Branch Ermopro? No, we're off to the Siberia research branch, not the Linkin Park office.
>>
>>20275501

And four to lend out to friends.
>>
>>20275334 >>20275302

"Too young?" You feel Kyuubey squirm slightly on your shoulder as he gets a bit more comfortable perching himself there, and you try to stop yourself from slapping him off with the doujin you're now stuffing back into your inventory. "No, no, I meant too old. Such books are only meant for the consumption of those much too young to absorb and appreciate proper literary prose, aren't they? I mean, look at them - each page is wrought with exagerrated art! Not enough words in it to form even a single paragraph - just dialogue, nothing else!"

You blink for a moment, before you realize that Kyuubey is in fact talking about comic books in general - not just this kind. You ask him if there's anything wrong with older people perusing such reading material.

"Well, no. I wouldn't say so. I let anyone under my employ read whatever they so choose." Kyuubey turns to look at you with its disturbing, unblinking gaze - and you can only manage to hold it up close for a few moments before turning away. "Take that particular book you were holding, for example. I've seen copies of it being read fervently by quite a number of the girls in the office, as well as its other volumes. I have yet to pass a memo disallowing it from the office proper, and it will stay that way." The Incubator seems almost proud to say this.

Well, that's all well and good--wait. Did he just say...?

"In any case. I'm here to give you a briefing about what you might expect in Siberia. Unless, of course, you have questions first?"

[]Ask about Misaka's brother.
[]Ask about Kilgore's Golden Weapon.
[]Ask about the 50/50 Method.
>>
>>20275525
Ahahaha, oh snap.

[X]Ask about the 50/50 Method.
>>
>>20275525
OH GOD WHAT

I think a killing spree is in order

[x]ask about kilgore's weapon
>>
>>20275525

Lets find out about Kilgore first, then move onto our chances.

We can do Misaka's bro last.
>>
>>20275525

>[x]Ask about the 50/50 Method.
>>
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>>20275525
>"No, no, I meant too old. Such books are only meant for the consumption of those much too young to absorb and appreciate proper literary prose, aren't they? I mean, look at them - each page is wrought with exagerrated art! Not enough words in it to form even a single paragraph - just dialogue, nothing else!"
>"Take that particular book you were holding, for example. I've seen copies of it being read fervently by quite a number of the girls in the office, as well as its other volumes. I have yet to pass a memo disallowing it from the office proper, and it will stay that way." The Incubator seems almost proud to say this.
I suddenly like QB.
All newe world of respect for him
>>
>>20275525
Misaki's brother first
>>
>>20275525
If this was Midori, she's dead.
Ask about gilgores weapon. We'll learn the others soon enough.
>>
>>20275525
>as well as its other volumes
We should go back to the doujin shop.
>>
>>20275525
[x]Ask about Kilgore's Golden Weapon.
GOTTA NUMBER 'EM ALL
Also we are totally whoring Midori out to the PR department, where she will draw lewd pictures of herself, then go around with a sign selling them.
>>
[]Ask about Misaka's brother.
[]Ask about Kilgore's Golden Weapon.
[]Ask about the 50/50 Method.

Well it is official, we are a big damn girlporn manga star
>>
>>20275525
We should...... hang out with the MGs we trained. see how many of them read this stuff.
>>
>>20275525
[]Ask about Kilgore's Golden Weapon.
>>
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>>20275585

Yeah, totally. I was just walking back to my house and thought we should leave our phone number there so Yuri<3 can call us when a new copy comes out from the author Green Green.
>>
>>20275595
This can't end well...

[x]Ask about Kilgore's Golden Weapon.

50/50 is important, but loot first.
>>
>>20275595
After the mission let's do that.
>>
Ah. So all those whispers around the office were about more than we realised.
>>
>>20275525
[X]Ask about Kilgore's Golden Weapon.
Find out if his SWAG ability was part of the weapon's powers.
>>
>>20275595
I am guessing we trained quite a few MG's and at a guess all of them read this.

Especially after Kumatora found it

Speaking of which, what kind of fucking name is bear tiger? Because that's what her name translates to if you go off the direct meaning of the two words that make it up
>>
>>20275630
It's a bad ass name taht's what! No different to a Scandinavian being named Ulfbjorn.
>>
>>20275525

[]Ask about Kilgore's Golden Weapon.
[]Ask about the 50/50 Method.

those two are the most important right now.

>>20275558

>We can do Misaka's bro last.
>if you know what i mean.
>>
>>20275630
I guess It's really fucking fast bear.
Or huge tiger.
>>
>>20275630

It's the name of a character from Mother 3.
>>
>>20275644
I know that but seriously Japan has weirdass naming conventions
>>
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Might be last doodle of the night(morning?), exhausted.
>>
Watching Idolm@ster while waiting for replies.
It's the christmas party ep.
"Don't go girls! Kilgore will murder you all!"
>>
>>20275525

What is the 50/50 method? I feel like I'm missing an injoke here.
>>
>>20275659
The massacre wasn't at Christmas time though, they are more likely to get mind controlled
>>
>>20275666
I believe It's referring to the Goldweapon treatment success rate
>>
>>20275630
>>20275641

someone needs to draw a cross between a bear and a tiger.

and i don't mean just changing the fur patterns, really take all the best bits of both animals and combine them into a Magic murder beartiger.

incidentally, Syberia has bears also tigers right?

could Misaka her brother or one of his colleagues have worked on combining the 2 because "this is Siberia what else is there to do?"

perhaps it could be one of pinky her pets?
>>
>>20275246
>to part its awaiting folds

Gottdamnit Innuendo
>>
>>20275686
I don't know about tigers but yes there are bears
>>
>>20275686
No tigers in Siberia.
Wolves. Wolves everywhere.

And Putin's magical hunting ground
>>
>>20275699
suddenly, Puella Magi Putin with golden AK
>>
>>20275699
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siberian_tiger

Guess again.
>>
>>20275622
>what kind of fucking name is bear tiger?

The kind awesome people have.

http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Kumatora
>>
>>20275712
A KBG agent like Putin wouldn't use such a crude weapon.
>>
Wasn't Kumatora basically described as looking like Black Rock Shooter when she was introduced?
Is she a reference to something I'm missing?
>>
>>20275718
Well, dang, my bad
>>
>>20275718
Yeah, but we're going to Kamchatka.
>>
>>20275731
I think she is an amalgamation of references
>>
>>20275525
[x]Ask about Kilgore's Golden Weapon.
[x]Ask about the 50/50 Method.
We can learn about Misaka's brother later, or from Misaka.
>>
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>>20275712
Japan is way ahead of you.
>>
>>20275525
>suddenly, chiaki is the pornstar role model of the officio's impressionable young women
>cue experimentation
>when we return, Kumatora has patented the all-new 'soul gem stun', a completely safe and effective method for subduing unruly magical girls
>we must guard Chiaki's soul gem WITH OUR VERY LIVES
>>
>>20275767
What...
>>
>>20275777
She's Putinka from a game called "my girlfriend is the president."
>>
>>20275771
No need for weird soul gem stuns. I'm willing to bet there's already a Cullexus (or however the anti-MG squadron was named) among our fangirls.
>>
>>20275783
I loved that game
>>
>>20275788
The officio is no longer safe. Chiaki must live out the remainder of her life in Siberia, hunting bears for a living and enjoying vodka with Misaka.
>>
>>20275587 >>20275558 >>20275549

"Ah, yes, those. We've analysed them, and as it turns out, they are completely identical to your Desert Eagle and Kirika Kure's sword - which confirms its existence as a Golden Weapon." Kyuubey hops off your shoulder in a neat jump, landing on the floor and turning to face you.

"Testing revealed the bangles as having the same exact parameters as the other two weapons, but we identified a certain characteristic that neither the Desert Eagle or the sword had - the bangles change their shape depending on the current wearer. This means that they may take a drastically different form when you're wearing them, Chiaki Matsuda, so keep it in mind when you're training in them."

Training...? Isn't that something QB would want you to avoid, seeing as they do corrupt their users? For all you know you've already been turned by the prolonged amount of exposure you had with the Desert Eagle. And besides, Vindicare aren't supposed to worry about close combat, are they?

"That's what Vindicares are, more or less. But that's why I'm sending you to Siberia, besides seeing if the stopgap measure we've developed works in retarding the corruption of the Golden Weapons. I'm temporarily suspending your Vindicare rank - effective today, you are to be considered as a Warmaster-in-Training."

What? But...you remember that it was Mami who was supposed to be on her way to becoming Warmaster. Why you...?

"Exemplary performance during your recent assignments. A bit of an exagerration, I admit, but you have quite the support backing you. It also helps when you're the popular vote. I have no idea why, but there you go."

[1/2]
>>
We Warmaster now! Does this mean we get more minions aside from Midori?
>>
>>20275883
And I j
ust realised we got promoted over Mami's head. I see waht you're doing Deculture, youre making our golden goddess resent us.
>>
>>20275883
More minions... Ask to have Mami as our personal aide?

And what does being a Warmaster imply, besides more homolust towards us?
>>
>>20275888
Pretty sure a war master must be an active field agent.
Mami is no longer that
>>
>>20275888
And she still have those golden muskets...
>>
>>20275888
Well, I guess we could still decline the promotion.
>>
>>20275904
perhapse. But the reason she is no longer a field agent is because of her injuries sustained while rescuing us. I can see this being twisted in to us stealing her career.
>>
>>20275921
In anyone else easily
With Mami I don't see it
>>
>>20275921
We also "killed" her friend Kirika.
>>
I know that Chiaki has done fairly well on these last three missions she's been given over the span of this quest... but pretty much all she's done is damage control, show that she's not a total misanthrope, and get her ass kicked (but win anyway through recruiting other people to cover her weaknesses).

I think that's a definite improvement over her Murderface days, but I'm not sure if that really warrants a promotion to a very high rank. What kind of game could QB be playing at here? Is he wanting to make an example out of Chiaki?
>>
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>>20275871
>Warmaster-in-Training
hu?
>It also helps when you're the popular vote.
Wait.. WHAT?
>>
We're on in training for now, guys.
We could wait for everyones reactions, then turn down the full promotion if we want to.
I like how deculture shifted attention away from the fact QB is once again using us as a guinea pig with that.
>>
>>20275927
>>20275888
>>20275921
>>20275924
No sirs I don't like it. The pancake goddess will not fall from divinity so easily. Unless she goes full on flesh of fallen angels.
>>
>>20275951
Warmaster seems to be a field officer rank. So far, we've made good use of our allies and even recruited one, besides we're still just in training.
>>
>>20275951
We're also apparently pretty popular. Remember back when we were interrogating Midori, she started talking about how we were THE murderface, magical girl celebrity with the perfect timestop? Celebrity often has no relation to the actual person being celebrated.
>>
>>20275927
>>20275921
>>20275907

I can see it now. Mami is alone, depressed hurt, and then Pinky comes whispering in to her ear. Pinky understands, Pinky has had her heart torn out by Murderface too.
>>
>>20275990
Damage control phone call. Right now.
>>
>>20275871

"In any case, you will be training in as many forms of close combat as possible, preferably with the golden weapons should the method work. The Betrayer will be the one to facilitate your training during your stay in Siberia."

The name makes you freeze. The Betrayer? You...you feel like you should remember something like that, but nothing comes to mind. If anything, it sounds like a rather foreboding moniker.

"The very same." Kyuubey nods. "In fact, she volunteered, and I hear she's quite eager to get started. Give her my regards when you meet her, and try to be a good student. I know how much of a problem you have with figures of authority."

You look down at the Incubator, narrowing your eyes at him. You wonder if this is some sort of trick.

"As for the method, well, you'll have to consult the person in charge of that. I forget his name, but I do know that he's related to your arms dealer. Try to cooperate with whatever he asks - he knows what he's doing, and I've made it expressly clear how important you are to the Officio."

You nod. You don't find it all that reassuring, but it's something.

"Is there anything else you wish to ask at this point in time, Matsuda?" Kyuubey asks, tilting its head slightly to the side as it looks up at you.

How do you respond?
>>
>>20275951
A combination of distraction, misdirection and testing.

He distracts us with this information, misdirected enemies by having a very visible Field officer with golden weapons and he tests whether he can trust us, his method of preventing the corruption and his underlings
>>
>>20275994
>KHAAAAAAARNess

"Nah, I think we're good."
>>
>>20275971
It's all the little things that pile up, time after time, while Faust whispers ate slowly at her heart, every time she sees us...

>>20275977
The porn about us may also have contributed to our popularity, for the magical girls who never met us personally. We should thank Midori.
>>
>>20275994
"Tell me about the Betrayer. You know how spotty my memory can be."
>>
>>20275994
"Can I drop-kick you?"
>>
>>20275954
I guess our reputation as a crazy assed warmongering motherfucker has led everyone to think that we'd make the best Warmaster. I have to question it too.

Although I feel the need to point out that we'll certainly have our fair share of vocal detractors (Sakura for one, possibly even Mami for another). However, I think what matters most here is what the role of Warmaster actually entails?
>>
>>20275990
Except Mami has the golden weapons already
>>
>>20276011
>>20276020
These two. Ask about the betrayer and details on the warmaster role.
>>
>>20275871

We are very popular.

Many of the girls in the office are reading porn based on us.

Do you think these facts may be related?
>>
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>>20275994
Ask to take Tomoe Mami with us. She's far more experienced than we are, so try to convince QB her advice will be needed during our training. And tell him we want her under our orders if we get promoted, anyway. Either that or we reject the promotion.
>>
I love how everyone jumps to the conclusion that this is setting us up for everyone hating us.

Seriously if I ever wanted to start a fucking panic I would start with tg because of how easy you all are
>>
>>20276028
Exactly. So Pinky already has her eye on her, see? Mami may have put down the golden weapons, but it could be oh so easy for Pinky to convince her to pick them up again.
>>
If we're going to be using the bangles, what are we hoping they will look like?

Also, german rival for Misaka.
>>
>>20276051
Or maybe everybody else is better at noticing hints in literature than you are.
>>
>>20276051
Yes, but remember that in this quest, being paranoid has generally proven to the the better decision.
>>
>>20275994

>To QB:

Ask QB about who exactly supported our rise to Warmaster rank.

>speculation
QB knows that Mami is another golden weapon user, although Chiaki doesn't. By doing this, he may want to purposefully stress-test both Mami and Chiaki at the same time; Chiaki will have to deal with all the work-related stress of being a visible and high-ranking leader, and also the stress of a misanthropic magical girl dealing with all the popularity that goes along with it.

In the meantime, Mami sees that Chiaki is moving on up in the world. While she's going to be happy that Chiaki is doing well for herself, there's got to be a part of her that feels resentment over being passed over (despite her voluntary retirement) and seeing Chiaki being rewarded so lavishly for killing Kirika (despite Kirika being thoroughly corrupted by the golden katana).

Best case scenario: Chiaki lives up to be an exemplary Warmaster, and gets the golden weapon/Faust situation under control. Mami deals with her issues, and relinquishes her golden musket without a fuss.

Worst case scenario: Mami and Chiaki go full-on FLESH OF FALLEN ANGELS ALL DAY ERRYDAY. But QB will have gathered some very valuable data regarding the corruption, which will certainly give him some insight into the mystery that is Faust.
>>
>>20276049
Keeping potential enemies close is a good idea.
>>
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>>20275994
Ask more about The Betrayer.
>>
>>20276065
No I would say you are all overreacting like a bunch of women

>>20276066
Like it leading us to grope Yayoi? I will admit it has helped us but sometimes you need to take a step back and reevaluate just how much paranoia is slipping in
>>
>>20276049
>Either that or we reject the promotion.
"Okay, fine, I accept the promotion. But under one condition."
"Yes, Matsuda?"
"PANCAKES"
>>
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Alright, I think this is a good place to pause. The continuation at the same time tomorrow!

Thank you for your participation! Sorry if it's been dragging a bit, I'm just getting back into the rhythm of things!

Feedback is always appreciated!
>>
>>20276140
Yay Chiakiuwa
>>
>>20276140
Thanks for running this whole thing.
So many new things to investigate popped up in this thread...
>>
>>20276140
You should run a Magical Burst game.
>>
>>20276140
Aight, take care of yourself
>>
>>20276140

Thanks for the quest, Deculture.

Stay dry!
>>
>>20276140

i'll be here same time tomorrow!
>>
>>20276140
Thanks for the thread Deculture.
Cheers.
>>
German rival for Misaka
(and only for Misaka)
Yea/Nay/Meh
Who is
for it
against it
doesn't care about it
?
>>
>>20276140
Welcome back Deculture, and thanks for the thread.

>>20276189
I don't think there's a lot of interest, to be honest.
>>
I'm more interested on whether Kyubey got the information we asked for: about the witch that spawned in Mami's apartment and who is Akemi Homura.
>>
>>20276241
That got lost in the backlog of waifu wars along with moving us to a more secure location
>>
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Quest archived, don't forget to vote.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Magical%20Girl%20Noir%20Quest
>>
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>>20276140

Got back just to see the thread end. Shame.

It's good to see you back, Deculture. I missed MGNQ. Here's a version without lineart on the clouds, in case you don't have it.
>>
....

I am guessing the betrayer is Madoka. Being is Siberia would count as being out of range.
>>
"Tell my co-pilot I'll be there in 5 minutes. I have... things on my mind." The stewardess exits the room.

I'm still affected by the dream. Spooked, even. It's... a strange feeling. I shrug it off. I've got a plane to fly. Being disturbed isn't a good thing.

My mind wanders back and forth for a bit. It settles on a very familiar memory.

The day we first met.

Strange as it may seem, I am not a bodyguard. My stock in trade has always been in computers. Hacking, cybersecurity, cyberwarfare, that kind of thing. So it was a bit of a shock that QB called me in to do a bodyguarding job for him.

The job? It was, for lack of a better term, babysitting the Emperor of Japan. I don't remember the briefing much. Something to do with magical beasts wanting to eat him or something.

He was a gentle sort. A genial old man who liked studying marine life. Even gave me a tour of the Imperial Palace. And introduced me to his family. I could not fathom how anyone, or anything, would want to take his life. The crazy right-wingers, probably, but I distinctly remember them being respectful of him as well. That, and a conveniently-placed bomb some time before. I was quite pleased with that.

I had thought it was a boring job. And it would have ended without incident too, if it wasn't for what happened next.
>>
A banshee. A screaming wraith from... Ireland? Scotland? In Japan. And it was after my principal. Damn that QB. He wasn't kidding about the supernatural stuff.

It was several tense moments of horror as the banshee ripped apart the Emperor's bodyguards like a hot knife through butter. There was no way I could take it out. QB had promised backup. Where was it?

Without warning, a golden light pierced the banshee. Then, another. And another. Before I knew it, the damned ghost was gone.

I look up. On the roof was.. a girl with blonde locks. Dressed rather strangely. She did a short leap and landed elegantly near where I was.

"You could have come a bit earlier." I grouched, showing her the carnage the banshee had wrought. Her response was... interesting. There was a smile on her face, though I thought it looked a bit off. Like it was forced.

"Well, I'm sorry for that. If you have any complaints, please take it up with QB." Her answer was cold, restrained, yet very polite. Then again, I've never really worked with QB's field agents.

I am shaken out of my reverie by my co-pilot. "Captain, the pre-flight checks are done. All systems go."
"Uh, good. Have you submitted our flight plan to Control?" I ask.
"All done. We're clear to fly." he replied.
"Okay, good. We'll just have to wait, then."
>>
>>20276417

Oh wow, that would be amazing.
>>
are we archiving?
>>
>>20276077

>
Worst case scenario: Mami and Chiaki go full-on FLESH OF FALLEN ANGELS ALL DAY ERRYDAY. But QB will have gathered some very valuable data regarding the corruption, which will certainly give him some insight into the mystery that is Faust.

I'm late, yes, but I wanted to point out how spot on this potentially is. QB's goal here is to figure out what Faust is doing. We're connected to that through the Golden Weapons. I honestly think we are totally expendable in his eyes as long as he figures out whats going on.

So, yes. He'll promote us and get use to tri-wield Golden Gear in order to hasten Fallen Angel mode if that's what it takes in order for him to crack the case.

Kyubei ALWAYS PLAYS THE LONG GAME, people. Remember; he's got more important things to worry about then us.
>>
On a lighter note, I wonder if the author of "The Adventures of Miracle Midori and Murder Mayumi" is the Midori that's currently in Chiaki's service.

I think her reaction hints at it, but you never know.
>>
>>20277431
>slowpoke.jpg

Uh. Yeah.
Her name means green. She wears green and her hair is green. She is the greenest green since green came to greentown, and the doujin was written by "Green Green", and she tweaked when we called her by her murderface-sexing self-insert.

I don't think we could be more sure it's her.
>>
>>20277479
>Broccoli head.
Also the doujin might be the reason why Kyoko joked about Midori being Chiaki's bed warmer right upon seeing her for the very first time.
>>
>>20277501
Oh no, i hadn't thought of that.

Oh noooo, everything is much, much worse that we thought.

Welp. When we get back, our first act as Warmaster needs to be declaring possession of that series punishable by something suitably terrible.
>>
>>20277501

I can see Kyubey knowing and not saying anything because he's a fucking alien that doesn't understand humans, but if Kyouko knew about the doujin and she didn't say anything, then it's time to make good on those "butler pictures becoming a permanent fixture on the net" threat.


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