Let's have a thread dedicated to That guy/girl/group/dm.Friend of a friend joins our game. Twilight shirt on, with that. "I'm such a geek" look. I brush it off, the characters are being made. She wants to be a vampire, who looks just like bella. ohboyherewego.jpgInstantly starts complaining about how she is supposed to sparkle in the light and not burst into flames. Insists on the GM to not penalise her for being a fucking vampire and he doesn't know how "Real vampires" work.GM deals with it all, ends up letting her play a half vampire rogue.So we get our quest at the traditional starting area, the inn. first job and she is already trying to be the group leader and have everything revolve around her. Easy job go check on a supply cart, surprise surprise. Bandits. Twilight girl instantly uses blood star using all her health except one. And misses. She is literally in tears, how the GM just hates her and hates twilight, how she doesn't need this shitty game.GM's a big softy, so he veto's the event.
>>20185311OP, I recommend raping and murdering her.
>>20185311So we come across the bandits, attempt two at this encounter. After her 3rd veto death She insists on draining everybody's blood, and making them her vampire minions. We don't care any more. She is told it will take a few days to take effect, knowing that she is never coming back.So we set up camp and she tries to be all dark and mysterious, telling her story. About all the people she killed how she was royalty in her home land and how she will one day be a dark lord who will end all religion. Bro tells her to shut up, it went a little like this. "Will you shut the fuck up, lords dammit, thou art the most obnoxious wench I hath ever had the misfortune of sharing a camp with, if thou dareth speak ill of mine lords again I shall take this holy blade and shove it up thine rectum!" She is red in the face with anger, rolls to use her blood blades with all her health but one.Me being a fucking monk, grapple and slam her face into the fucking ground. She died, didn't mean to, but she was using all her blood on that stupid move, so when I did the grapple I just sort of snapped her like a twig. It was try to stop her or let my bro die. She throws her dice and drink at me from across the table, rips her sheet in half and storms out screaming and cursing calling us all "Immature fucking hating faggots, get a life you fat fucks." Never saw her again.The friend of that bitch just looked at us all apologised by ordering pizza. FUCK YER PIZZA!
If you guys want, after it picks up a little I will share my tale of a hambeasts rage, unwanted man love, 50 shades of grey and a trip to the hospital.
just playing with brosall of a sudden teleported to secret worldonly way out is we find sculpturefriend finds said sculpturetalk to dm about stealing roll dice and succeed unnoticedmfw I got to leave but his character diedhe rages and tells us all to leave his house
>>20185414If its anything like that story? God yes I want to hear it.
>>20185395Sweet jesus fuck. Why do you even let people like that into game?Second: how in the fucking fuck do people like that EXIST?!My faith in humanity dwindles by the day...
>>20185464Bad childhoods or just being plain retarded. You just have to be careful who you game with.
>>20185395Hell yeah, I want to read that, that was an amazing story OP.
>>20185414You don't need to ask. We always want to hear.
Hardmode: No reaction images
>>20185414First a little back infoMy current group has two regular players and our gm. There is our GM he is 31, has a wife and kids, big fat guy, but you never met anybody happier with themselves. Plays santa allot for his kids school. Always GMs, whenever he is a player he sees through everything anyone ever tries to do, it's like he is psychic with that shit. He's a fucking good GM to.Class of choice. Anything that cast spells.We have My bro about 5ft nothing, skinny, dressed like a mild hipster, brony. He is the comedy relief most of the time. Throws himself into stupid situations, always a good laugh. Class of choice. Ranger/rogues/bardsAnd then there's me, 6'4 bear, well kept spartan beard, Mohawk tied back, covered in tattoos. Get called the honey monster by GM's wife because, "He looks so scary but he is the sweetest man alive" And unfortunately it's true. Class of choice. Fighter/barbarian/monks
Just posted this in another thread but what the hell. We had a guy wanted to DM an adventure to try it out. He had been a semi That Guy who always insisted on being a custom class. Most recently he was an assassin who could turn his blood into weapons, had a man size weaponized puppet he could control with magic string, could go invisible in shadows and move without making a sound once a day, and could turn his shadow into a doppelganger. We let the shit slide because honestly, he was so bad at power gaming that it didn't make a difference.Anyway, we said what the hell and let him DM. Some of the highlights are:Getting sneak attacked by a special Persian ramming boat with a metal front spikes dumb shit he saw on the History Channel that didn't fit the setting, which was basically D&D Pirates of the Carribean, while we were on the open seas. Said sneak attack insta-killed a dozen hardened pirates and sank a ship.Did I mention they were Geth Fucking Pirates? No shit a forty man crew of Geth Pirates.Captain had a sword that did +5 to lawful good aligned things that was basically used to bend me over and fuck me seeing as I was a Paladin.He wore plate mail that was especially designed to be removed in a round as another fuck you to me because we had decided it would be near impossible for anyone to take plate armor off without sinking too far down into the ocean first. So me and the fighter had to wear leather. But this guy has break through metalworking technology apparently.After we slapped said captain's shit, he ran down into the ship with no lights. I said, "I'll just detect evil since he's the only one left." Guess what? The whole ship's evil because it's been used to kill people, so detect evil is useless.Pic is my face that whole night.
>>20185587And now we introduce the others.Fem typical hardcore feminist always the mans fault, refuses to date a man, but in all honesty. Probably couldn't get one. Unless the guy was really drunk. Wiry greasy hair skinny as fuck, she had sideburns. She played a Female archer.Hambeast. I don't really need to say much, you should know what a hambeast is. Fatter than GM but thinks she looks amazing, friends with fem. Huge yaoi fangirl, no sense of etiquette or personal boundaries. Class, I have no idea to be honest, I could normally judge by personality and attire but she was a loli battlemage who had lots of healing. Wouldn't let anyone see her sheet.3rd, just a guy, shown up for the sessions with the other two, I think it was hambeasts boyfriend or something. Didn't pay much attention, but he wasn't bad.Cleric
>>20185587>bearAt first I thought you were an actual bear. I'm disappointed now.
So, me and bro get to GM's place, we bring snacks and drinks, more than enough for me, bro, GM and anyone who joined. I'm talking a 24pack, crisps, dip, cheese, some vodka and a pizza menu for later. Apparently one of our regulars told us about some people they met, really eager to play dnd so they sent them out way, now this is the same person who introduced us to twilight, so we didn't hold out expectations high. We wait for about an hour, me and bro already had our characters set up, I was playing a halfogre fighter, who didn't speak to anyone but bro unless needed. His entire body is covered up in armour, hiding the fact he is a half ogre. Bro played an archer/rogue half goblin, who dressed as a fucked up jester. We normally played with a matching pair of characters, when you game with a guy for 5 years. It just sort of happens. We were about to call it quits on waiting and pick up our other game when it sounded like the door was being kicked down. GM's wife answers the door, and leads them to the gaming room. Thats when we met, Fem, Hambeast, and 3. Bro just looked at me as if to say, "The fuck did we do to deserve this?"
>CrispsOh boy now I read everything in Steven Fry's voice. Awesome
>>20185929Gm introduced us all, fem refuses a handshake, Hambeast insists on "Glomp hugs" Commenting on how adorable bro is, and 3 shakes hands. Fem instantly blurts out, "My character is a hardcore feminist, don't expect her to help." There characters were made. Fem makes a elf archer, dressed in a males uniform because "Don't even think about making me wear that disgusting chainmail bikini pig shit!" She was the leader of the guards, everyone respected her because she was a powerful woman, the entire guards then became women because they were doing the job better, but her town got torched by a dragon and now she is looking to find a new city to live. Hambeast, she made a loli battle mage, bright pink hair, "she used a spell to make herself look younger she was really ageless and wise. And really fucking kawaii" When she said this, me bro and gm just cringed. She brought up a picture of zero no tsukaima's louise.3's character was simple. He handed the gm a note. It said, "I am hambeast's secret brother in game, she needs protecting because she is a fucking idiot." Then said to the table, "I am Dobrin Dwarfnuts. The dwarf cleric, I came here to get drunk and fuck bitches" Me and bro started to like the guy.
>>20186091dobrin dwarfnutsoh god yes
>>20186091Well... 1 out of 3 is...still pretty shitty.3 Sounds alright though.
I used to read these stories and think that people had to be making them up; there was no way people like this could actually existOh how wrong I was
>>20186091>I am Dobrin Dwarfnuts. The dwarf cleric, I came here to get drunk and fuck bitches>bitchesWow I'd be surprised if the feminazi didn't snap right there
Reading these stories is why I don't feel so bad about the tabletop community and uni being sceptical about (especially extremely overweight) women joining the games. They sling the "that's being biased" bullshit but so many of them throw this stuff at the poor GMs, it's unsurprising.
>>20186091So the game starts, Gm thought it would be a good idea to start things in somewhere other than an inn this time. It started in a camp outside of the city, Fem, Ham and 3 were all sitting comfortably with a boar on the spitroast and a few cups of grog. Me and bro were supposed to be a practice encounter but fem didn't know ore care, all men are evil etc. So I show up, 8ft tall covered head to toe in armour, the loli mage knows whats going on, shouts "Oh noes, a scary monster" and giggles to herself, eyeing up bro. Fem instantly shoots an arrow at me, hits me right in the thigh. Hambeast gasps and says this "He used to be an adventurer like us then he took an arrow to th..." GM interupts her. "You finish that joke and I will make a meteor hit you" Ham pouts and the combat continues, 3 grabs ham and gets some distance, this wasn't going to end well for fem.She knocks more arrows into her bow shouting at me "DIE YOU DISCUSTING PIG!" I pull my shield out, block the arrows with it and fucking bitch slap her. She slams her hands on the table as she is knocked down to the floor. "SEE THIS IS WHY I HATE MEN, NOTHING BUT VIOLENCE!" Completely missing the fact she hit me first, while she is knocked out on the floor, me and bro introduce ourselves, bro proceeds to put his ballsack into the unconscious elfs eyes. 3 fucking burst out laughing at this, fem gave him a look which would freeze hell. It was still pretty funny.She gets healed by 3 but throughout the entire game she was trying to kill bro by "Accident"
>>20186249I refuse to believe women like fem exist. She sounds like the kind of person who'd go to a restaurant or fast food place and demand a woman take her order and get her food.
>>20186249Situations of attempted murder.>Trying to kill him in his sleep. She was to noisy and bro kicked her in the cunt.>Firing into a crowd where Bro wasMissed every shot, actually got a critical fail and shot herself in the foot.>letting go of the rope which had bro on the end of it.Bro had something that let him cling to walls.>Trying to bluff him into drinking poison.His bluff was so much higher he actually convinced her, it was delicious and she should try some. 3 had to spend all his healing magic to keep her alive.
>>20185464Dude, he got pizza, which is fucking worth it.
>>20186316>kicked her in the cunt.I lol'd, you caught me off guard>>Trying to bluff him into drinking poison.Shiiit, my DM's rules are that you can't use bluff on other players, I thought that was standard
>>20185977Strike that. Voice is being heard in Nigel Thornberry's voice. Or to a lesser extent, Dr. Frank-n-furter's.
>>20186316oh god that last one, I'm dieing
>>20185587This entire post sounds like the intro to a heist movie.
>>20186303She actually did something similar, she wouldn't accept drinks from bro, only hambeast.>>20186120Bros name was Gobon swamplogMine was Charles T Shocker the third. I actually got a very high int roll, so I went with something more classy than GROGH THUNDENBOKIf you actually know what me and bros names were I love you.
>>20186249>nothing but violence>refuses to remember that she was the one screaming insults and firing arrows at him before he even started attackinglol
>>20186354Its really more of a DM to DM situation, for instance, most of the people in my regular group agree that using bulff and intimidate on PCs is okay (because we're playing DnD and not poker for the former and because of the questionable legality of the latter) but shit like Diplomacy don't fly on PCs (Only the DM has the right to make people do shit they don't want to)
>>20186091>the entire guards then became women>her town got torched by a dragonmah balls
I haven't been in a group in nine years. This is why.The group in question would switch between BESM (Tenchi Muyo as the base) and Marvel Super Heroes. The GM was alright, but I could see the despair behind his eyes whenever the rest of the group would start their bullshit. Anyway, let's go down the list of some of the horrors I put up with.First there was the know it all beardo, the kind who thinks that his every insight is profound and correct... despite being a bagboy well in his 30's (perhaps older). Would never shut up.Then there was the artist guy who would bring in his lesbian three-way fantasies into the game. Thankfully he wasn't around long.The other fat guy who kept blowing things up and would repeat jokes from South Park endlessly.The annoying one and his repulsive girlfriend. Would actually eat cans of Spam at the table. Took the concept of a Kender and made it even smaller and more obnoxious. Got so sick of it that my PC attacked his, causing the rest of the party to join in on an assault on the little bastard.The loud balding guy with the mind of a 12 year old. I think he may of actually had something wrong with him.And then Nazi Guy. Stereotypical "NASCAR dad" type, always going on about how much he and his daughter liked eating meat. Had an uncomfortable fascination with Nazi Germany. One character was basically an unfrozen Nazi, another was an Egyptian mummy who just had to point out that he called the Jews "the slave race." He would also sit on the couch on the other side of the room, away from the table for some bizarre reason.It got to the point that I concluded that I was getting no real enjoyment from putting up with this collected bullshit and contrasted that with the long drives and time lost. I just stopped going. That was nine years ago, I'm still hesitant to join another group.
>>20186428HumansThey fuck anything
>>20186303Actually, a woman waiting on someone would probably be sexist.
>>20186091>Entire Guard regiment is composed of woman>Place gets torched. I'm using this for my fighters background.
I swear if I ever met you, your DM and your bro I woud buy you all pizza and booze for putting up with this and making it awesome OP
>>20186091you should have told her "this is why women should stay in the kitchen. If it's more than some food catching fire they can't handle it"Watch as all hell breaks loose.
>>20186354GM with us does it like this.>Secret note passed saying its a bluff on a pc >The gm does a roll if it passes then the gm says, its totally legit guy.But since bro has sensitive smell and didn't trust her after repeated attempts he called bullshit.Now where was I.>>20186249Oh right, so me and bro were now in the party, and we had made friends with hambeast and 3. Now hambeast was into bro. She was into bro something rotten, and she saw me and bro hanging out as a possible yaoi pairing, in game and in life. Which is fucking disturbing. Remember than nobody has seen me without my armour, they don't even know what species I am, and I have said the grand total of two lines to these people in character the entire game.>If you try to take my helmet off again I will take your head off.And my personal favorite.>GRAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!After getting smacked through the air by a pissed off teant.Now ham was always asking bro what he thought of me, hinting at something more, bro knew this and always danced around the question."So what do you think of your partner""You mean tin tits? He's aweome, stick im infront of ya door, and e' keeps da draft out.""No as in something else" "Ya can use em as a batterin ram if ya wan'"She wouldn't let up, really heavy on the shipping. She even drew yaoi, where under my helmet I was some sort of prettyboy yaoi thing. I will see if I can find it for you guys.
>>20186543>I will see if I can find it for you guys.Shit just got good(er).
>>20186543seeeing this yaoi would be awesome, in a disturbing way.
>>20186543My deviantart sense is tingling.
>>20186543i am morbidly fascinated
>>20186543write faster, goddamn
>>20186543Looked around, couldn't find shit. More on the shipping, she would try to make me and bro kiss, in and out of game. I reminded her I was not into guys, and bro has a girlfriend, he didn't but it was an excuse. She wasn't having any of it, and for some reason Fem had to chime in with. "You men should stay with other men, that poor woman with bro over there must be miserable, and you must be miserable knowing you are holding a brilliant woman back" Bro looked at her pokeface and just said "The only time I am miserable is when I have to come to this game and listen to you shoe horn your femanazi bullshit into every nook and cranny of the fucking story, the only reason you are so pissy about this is because you will never get a boyfriend, or in your case a girlfriend you carpet munching, self righteous cunt!" That was the end of our second session.The third session came up, things were tense between Bro and fem, so I went out and bought a metric fuck ton of beers and vodka. Booze was flowing and the game got a little silly, we were fighting an army of magical gummy bears caused by ham using a magic item wrong. I have no idea either but the 3rd session is drunk session from now on.
>>20186690Oh boy, this is going to be interesting.
>>20186690>magic army of gummy bearssounds like a normal session
>>20186690We are all drunk as balls shit is going great, we just got a bag of holding, and we stuffed bodies of these gummie bears in for future deliciousness, we took a break for a minute while I went to the shitter. When I returned ham was reading 50 shades of grey. Every now and again she would peer over the top of the book and stare at bro, bro was drunk so he joked around with a licking lips motion then went back for more booze.Now I didn't know what 50 shades of grey was until this, I thought it was the new twilight thing, so I don't pay any attention to it. Right now in the story I was breaking bro out of jail because fem got him arrested and refused to help, or allow the others to help. So I'm helping bro.Fem is reading the rule book.3 is on his I-phoneAnd ham is reading 50 shades of grey. Now we start to hear a low moaning, we thing its 3 watching porn so we don't bother looking into it, were drunk it's cool.The moaning gets a little louder and heavy breathing.We look over and ham is panting leaning over elbow on the table reading this fucking book. Now I have no idea what this book is still. And then bro felt a foot touch his leg.
>>20186786If I'm not mistaken, 50 shades of grey actually is a twilight fanfiction.
>>20186786...oh no.Not that.
>>20186786Oh dear christ run little bro run!
>>20186786He shakes his leg, it's probaby GM's dog or something. It happened again.And again.And again.She looks under the table to see a meaty ham of a leg groping him under the table, he follows it. And there it was, what Bro could only discribe as Dorritos with melted cheese mashed into a fleshlight. Ham was fingering herself under the table. Bro backed the fuck up, slamming his head on the table making ham drop her book, her other hand was between her legs, she was going to town on herself, she moaned out "OH BRO" Bro fucking falls back of his chair crawling backwards. "GAHTHAFUCKINGASHITFUCWAHTHEHELLWOMAN!" I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath I was hammered. GM looked horrified, 3, just watched his face red and fem looked at her and screamed covering her face.
>>20186856"she moaned out "OH BRO" "All I can think of now is that the guys actual name is Bro.
>>20186856Goddamn it I'm laughing while recoiling in horror.
>>20186875I sense MSPaint. Honestly Im surpised he didnt puke. It must have been the alcohol strentghing him. Like that song by Korpiklanni.
>>20186856please tell me you killed that bitch
>>20186856this is now what your bro looks like
>>20186897Vodka or Beer Beer?
>>20186856I can't wait to see what fem thought of her little hambeast friend pleasuring herself to a man lol
>>20186830Yeah, I read the blurb on one of them and it seemed really fangirlish. Like, massive author surrogate fangirlish.
>>20186906No. Liking Homosuck, and making references to it makes you the same kind of person as Hambeast.
>>20186907Vodka."Vodka your feeling stronger.etc" Haha
>>20186928I think it's actually a cover.
>>20186917i respect your opinion, and oftentimes i feel the same way. this is more of a special occasion.
>>20186856Please Play this song as you listen to this part. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw5acgqIHQESeeing bro back the FUCK up, she stood up, her skirt was up, and her underwear was around her ankles."WAIT BRO I..." She went to go for bro took a step forward and tripped on her own cheesey sweaty knickers.She faceplanted into the fucking table, It was glorious, it was slow motion as it happened. As she fell, he fat flopped around, her nasty fucking tits flapping like bird wings, smashed into the table, going right through the middle. Everything collapsed in on her, all the food and dip, the beer and pretzels covering her. I was howling with laughter, she just lay there in the mess making what sounded like the whales mating call, her skirt was up showing her cottage cheese ass, in the midst of the noise, GM's wife came in. She just stood in the door way watching. Things could not get any better. But it did, As she was in the mess making the whale noises she called out to bro one last time. "Bro Chaaaaan!" Bro was backed up to the wall, fear in his eyes, this woman a good foot taller than her calling out to him as she lays in this mess of beer food and cunt fluids. He looks up at me visibly shaken, this makes me laugh even more, the poor guy is terrified. That's where the 3rd session ended.
> groetec ends
If you let her remain in the house, in the fucking street, for any more than 30 seconds after that, you fucked up.Should have put up posters that warned everyone in the bloody city about her.
>>20186940I have no idea to be honest.
>>20186979I read it in Gilbert Gottfried's voice.
>>20187007... THE ARISTOCRAT!
>>20186917Not liking Homestuck, but being weird about it. Homestuck is only slightly worse than anything else because the fanbase is mostly teens.But let's not discuss this further because I want to hear the rest of this story.
>as she lays in this mess of beer food and cunt fluids. AAAAAAAND A LITTLE SWEAT! EWWWW SWEAT! DISGUSTING!
>>20186979Brilliant, amazing story. we need a clean up/epilogue as a nice catharsis
>All those beer questions.It was a mix, I ran to the offlicence got some generic beers 6 packs of about 4 different brands.A few blue/red wicked, since thats GMs favorites. Bro likes vodka and coke and bailies irish cream. I have a weakness to the really cheap shit known as sidekick and aftershock. It's like a shot drink, I think I bought like 5 different flavours, it was a fun night... till ham fucked up.
>>20187038I'm not done yet, we still have the following in store.Bro's broken legs. The end of fem.The berserking 3And hambeast two, the rage of the hambeast
>>20187042there's gotta be more then this
>>20187042That wasn't just ham fucked up.That was ham turning full on landwhlae mating mode. Im surpised she didnt fucking hump the table.
>>20187038> Clean up
>>20187062oh jesus, gettin all star wars in this bitch
>>20187062>>20187062>>20187062>>20187062>>20187062Side notes so far, ham remained in the group after paying for a new table and buying GM a bunch of D&D books. Which would you like to hear more about first?
how do you end up fucking masturbating at the table? is this a major risk of rpg's? because I've been trying to gather a group of irl friends for a Star Frontiers game and I'd really rather not test our friendship that much. >ohgodwhat.jpg
>>20187095Just go in order.
>>20187095personally I'd like to hear them in chronological order.That way, later actions might be explained by the previous ones.
>>20187095order it happened I suppose
>>20187095I would like you to just go in order it happened. But hey thats up to you. Honestly this is making me laugh my ass off.
>>20187095>Which would you like to hear more about first?Just go in order, bro
>>20187095Hambeast 2: Ham Harderor The End of Fem.I'm sacrificing sleep for this.
>>20187107Yes, masturbating in front of everyone is a required part of Role Playing.
>>20187139END OF FEMI'VE RUN OUT OF VOMIT AND NOW I'M JUST LEAKING BLOOD
>>20187145i was being sarcastic but thanks for the reassurance
>>20187187No problem. And remember, if anyone tells you to stop, don't! It's a test.Now I'm off to find a gaming group.
waiting for OP
why does OP type slower than turtle shit?
Go in order. Chronology is important.
>>20187266He's probably making it up as he goes.
>>20187221I get the impression that won't get off the ground as a common euphemism.
>>20187268This nigga right here has it.
>>20187107I recall seeing, on the news, a newscaster using a black dildo on herself when she was at the desk. Also, there was a JUDGE who was fondling himself under the table during a court case.Then there was a male newscaster who did his job without wearing pants.
>>20187095Ok we will start with End of fem, since that comes before Bro's broken legs. Can anyone connect the dots here before I finish?If you can I may share a bonus story of bro.we are in the 5th session, everyone is cool, except for fem. She is still the raging bitch we all know and love. Even 3 is starting to get fedup with her bullshit. >Need her help."NO YOU MALE PIG">Help her"I DONT NEED YOUR HELP YOU ENTITLED BASTARD">Don't help her."Tss, just like men" You get the idea. So we been doing our thing, Bro has got some awesome gear modified by yours truely to look like jester gear, I actually had tailoring leatherwork and smithing because, fuck nobody else would. I was in some bitching new armour, berserker style, massive tower shield etc etc. Ham was in an even skimpier mage outfit, 3 was still pretty generic except I shaped his sword like a dildo, and he didn't catch on. Fem, well fem was in shit gear. She wouldn't accept my offer to make her new gear, she wouldn't buy from any male shop owners and she had no crafting skills of her own other than arrows. Fem was getting pretty pissed, how dare her female gods not grant her with tons of awesome shit for having a vagina. That's when the gm threw her a bone. We arrived at Stalia. Where all the shops are run by women, and all the fighting is done by the men.
>>20187306Oh boy, here we go!
>>20187306I predict this act of good will from the GM going south incredibly fast.
>>20187306>Where all the shops are run by women, and all the fighting is done by the men.
>>20187306this is going to end badlymy shitstorm senses are tinglingis it going to end up with her going on some ridiculous rage fest because the men do the fighting and the women are all in shops?
>>20187348>End of FemYou think?
>>20187306>Mfw the entire story
Oh God my sides.I had to stop writing my story about That Vermin Guy to read yours, this is hilarious and i hope someone will end up screencapping everything.
I'm still amazed they let ham stay when she freaked bro out so much.
>>20187355This right here. This is what pisses me off about hardcore feminazis. Won't buy from male shopkeeps, then rages when all the shops are run by women("What do they think we're good for nothing?") as a bone thrown to em. Gets pissed off when females are under-represented on the guard, then turns around and gets pissy about a mostly-female guard roster("Men get to sit on the lazy asses and..").I mean, holy fuck. How can someone like this even into thoughts? The rampant not-knowing-what-they-want coupled with the hypocrisy just.. I can't continue.
>>20187446It's a made-up story, feminazi and hambeast don't exist.
>>20187446double standards everywar when you talk to them bro
>>20187306Now fem straight away spent all her money she had been saving up robbing everything men had, which was a surprisingly large amount. And she bought the most bitching armour and weapon she could find. She was now kitted out better than us, and she wanted to know we knew it. By challenging Bro to a duel. Still pissed at all the times bro refused and sent me in his place. Under the context if you can beat this lug, then you can fight me. Now I was a fucking wall, my armour was made from rare dungeon minerals and enhanced with thick inner leather, her arrows weren't doing shit. She accepted anyway because, "Pfft a pathetic man couldn't beat me" The fight began, all her arrows were blocked bar a few which barely scratched me, I was knocking the bitch around like a ragdoll. Out of game she was glaring at me, what was she expecting, for me to just let her win? fuck that. I end up stomping hard on her arm. I crippled her bow arm. She was furious. She stands up and spits on me. Now I can take allot of shit, but that is way out of line. So my plan set into motion. I proceeded to slowly break every bone in her body. Each round I would pour a healing potion on her, just enough to keep her concious. Then I would break another. She was screaming at GM. GM said it was allowed since ogres are evil. I Break, and break, and break. Soo enough she was a pile of mush but alive.By this time off table she was physically threatening me. So back in game I then held her down as bro looked her in the face and said"KOOPDEGRAAASSSS BITCH!"In britain you probably know we don't have guns, so I wasn't worried about her pulling a gun on me. But she did pull a knife. Which I wasn't expecting.
>>20187468Then why have I encountered people who think like feminazi? Face it, anon. Your idealism is wasted on our world.
>>20187446I believe the term you are looking for is 'doublethink'
>>20187492Aw shit nigga
>>20187492>But she did pull a knife.
>>20187492For the record, it's pronounced "coo de gra"But fuck, a knife? Bitch is unhinged.
>>20187492>koopthe "p" is silent
>>20187539No, it's "coo duh grass"
>>20187468Even if it's false, it's entertaining. And often stories this wild are too absurd to be fake.
>>20187492oh and for the record you should have inserted your sword into her ass as was threatened earlier.
I'd have decked when she pulled that knife. Go you glourious british bear!
>>20187552As a french guy, this anon got it right.Now can't wait for SilentBear to go into GrapplingBear mode !
>>20187492Now I am not afraid to say, I wasn't going to get stabbed for a fucking D&D game, so bro doesn't finish her off. She calms down a little and sits back down. 3 gets up and leaves at this point saying "Yo call me when the bitch is gone" Ham didn't want to leave because she was terrified. GM texts his wife, she's a marine I think. All I know is she could kick my ass. And we continue to play, Fem is fucking insane right now, it's not a hostage situation but she had a weird look in her eye, since now everything was going her perfect way. The fight was a veto. And instead of fighting she went to the mayor who was looking for adventurers, After an amazingly lucky bluff, she became the head of the towns guards. And her first order of duty? All men are now slaves. The entire male guards were fired and sent from the city, along with any other male.She was in charge now, she was happy. But I wasn't having any of this shit. I just had to wait.BANG!The door opens with a force that almost blows it off the hinges, GM wife, runs in. Fem looks over not knowing what is going on. I make my role. "I rip off her head""NO!" She stands up again going for the knife, GM wife leaps like a fucking gazelle and throws the bitch to the fucking floor. She wrenches her arm back and cuffs her. Bro just leans back in her chair. "Coopdegah" She was going to be arrested for possession of a dangerous weapon. But got let off.I didn't see her again for a while, but bro did.
>>20187610>but bro did.On the one hand, I want this expanded on, but not at the expense of the rest of the story
>>20187610>I didn't see her again for a while, but bro did.oh shit
>>20187610>First story: End of Fem>Second story: Bro breaks his leg... Oh my fuck.>captcha says dentLeg BerzeliusI don't know what a Berzelius is, but I bet there will be a bit worse than a dented Leg, captcha.
>>20187610After the main story I would also like Bro seeing her expanded on a little if you have time, Mr Bear
>>20187610> but bro did
>>20187610Written: Coup De GraceSpoken: Coo De GraThis story is awesome, and you are awesome, but it's starting to bug me...just a little.
>>20187306>Connect the dots...Oh ye merciful gods... Don't tell me she had a crush on the Hambeast?Was that why she was especially gunning for Bro?
>Bro just leans back in her chair. "Coopdegah" IS BRO A GIRL? HAVE I BEEN MISLEAD THIS WHOLE TIME?
>>20187610>Bro is the biggest bro
>>20187610Sounds like she may need some proffesional help.
So fem gets pissed at bro for the coup de grace and breaks his legs as revenge?
>>20187610Part two, Bro's broken legs.This one will probably just be one post.Bro met her again, but not on the best terms, all he knows is it was that feminazi bitch. What happened was he was coming out of work, when a car pulled up besides him. The window rolled down and it was fem."Oy bro, you remember me?"Bro did and he kept walking.She drove slow by him, "C'mon you remember me, the femanist cun? you said?""Listen just leave me alone"She backed the car up and revved the engine. CRASH!Smacked bro with her fucking car, broke his fucking legs with the impact, and then she fucking booked it. He rang me to pick him up, I wasn't far off so I was there in no time. People ask me why I don't like feminists, this is why.
>>20187610>Fembitch gets arrested for being crazyOh fuck ye->Next story: Bro breaks his legsI do not like where this is going.
>>20187610>Bitch gets wrestled to the ground>Bro says "coopdegrah"fucking amazingI hope you buy this guy all the beers ever
>>20186979Pic related, it's OP and Bro.
>>20187706>She hit him with her fucking carPlease dear god tell me she got booked for this.
>>20187706That can't be the end of that story. Do not tell me she got away with that. I don't care if you have to make something up right now. Do it for my peace of mind.
>>20187706This woman is not a feminist, she's a femnazi. Doesn't help that 99% of "feminists" are femnazi's and they don't realize it.
>>20187706What happened to her?
>>20186979Holy fuck, I can't remember the last time I actually laughed out loud at a 4chan story. That was an excellent choice of music to pair the finale with.
These threads scare the fuck out of me. Why the fuck is hostage taking and psychotic behavior so common among tabletop gaming.
>>20187744hopefully she got brutally raped in prison and slowly died of aids
>>20186467>>Humans>They fuck everythingftfy
>>20187601Really? My French teacher, who was from France, said that you pronounced the p in coup and the ce in grace.
>>20187706Time for the berserking 3.Now ever since the whole table incident. 3 had been a little weird, It turns out, he was fucking hot for hambeast. And watching the love of his life fall for bro his heart was broken. So he became the new fem, always shooting for bro. But I was the only thing stopping him every time, Bro was MY bro and I wasn't going to let him die. Time goes on he gets more and more, assholish. Since fem was gone, ham was all over bro, still in casts. She would ask him if he needs help to pee, or undress etc. She signed his cast with her number and lots of hearts. This only made 3 more and more angry. It shown in game and at table. Now since bro was in a wheelchair, he couldn't do much to react, when 3 would flick things at bro, i'm talking playground bully shit. Always making jokes at him. After 2 sessions Bro decided enough is enough, and he took one for the team. A big one. A ham flavoured one. >>20187662DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!Coming last, bro fucks fem!
>>20187819The French are very inconsistent
>>20187831>Coming last, bro fucks fem!You mean, like, fucks her over, right?Right?
>>20187831>this entire post>mfw
>all the questions on fem.GM wife made it her personal business to take her in. She gets out in 6 months, GM wife is going to give her tickets whenever she sees it report her and everything she can to make her life hell. Bro is like her little brother.Something you all may like, when GM wife caught her, she smacked her in the fucking face and knocked her two front teeth out.
>>20187819Maybe she's from Occitania? Apparently Meridional French speakers vocalize final e's where most other varieties wouldn't.
>>20187831>A ham flavored oneHuh, I wonder what he could mean by tha-uhhAuuughAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-iIfi3SNpw
>>20187831I really like bro. Please, he doesn't fuck her.I know what bro would say in this situation."I did not have sexual relations with that woman"
>Going to go to bed>Suddenly there's bro-chan and the tale of the hamhog>it isn't finished yetNo.NO.
>>20187662>>20187831>That feel when you want to be proud you were right, but still want to be wrong for the sake of all that is decent in the world.
>>20187831>After 2 sessions Bro decided enough is enough, and he took one for the team. A big one. A ham flavoured one.
>>20187879>She smacked her in the fucking face and knocked her two front teeth out
>>20187857No. He fucked her... He fucked her...>>20187831Now bro isn't afraid of some nasty pussy, me and him wingman each other allot, and we have both had to take home a whale or two. Hell I even let bro "Knock me out" to look good infront of a girl. Hit me with a fucking chair the lil prick haha.But this was something else, but if it would piss 3 off, then he would do it. He fucked 3. He buried his lil hipster dick in the grand canyon known as her cunt. And he took photos. And when game time came, he handed them to 3. On one hand it was funny because it was ham.On the other hand it was funny to see really awkward crippled bro have sex. And 3 raged, 3 went berserk. He flipped the table knocking bro back out of his wheel chair. I can't beat a girl, but I can beat a guy. And I did.
>>20187966>He fucked 3. He buried his lil hipster dick in the grand canyon known as her cunt. And he took photos.
>>20187966How the hell did he even get it up?
>>20187966Oh goddammit.I'm gonna need a palate cleanser.
>>20187966>But I can beat a guy>And I did
>>20187900Woops! She said you pronounce the ce in grace as s.
has someone screen capped this yet?
>>20187966He fucked.. 3?
>>20187831>. 3 had been a little weird, It turns out, he was fucking hot for hambeast. And watching the love of his life fall for bro his heart was brokencalling 3 a dick stirs my feels
>>20187819You do not pronounce the P in Coup.In fact, if you have OU in a word and the OU isn't followed by at least 2 other letter, you never pronounce the following letter.Tout -> T isn't heard.Coup -> P isn't heard.If you had Coupe, then you would pronounce PE.As for grace, he's right.You pronounce the CE, but seriously it's pretty much heard the same way as Grass, unless you're talking with some elitist french that think they are so much better than everyone else."Coo duh grass" is still be correct way to say it.
>>20187966....Can we be friends?
>>20188016i hope to the emperor that is just a typo
>>20187966As I mentioned before, I am a bear. Big hairy and strong as fuck. This guy was about 6ft toned but skinny toned, and he was ready to scrap with bro. "YO DON'T GET IN MA WAY! I'M GONNA KICK HIS ASS"He swings, I step in and get a nice punch to the face. He struck first, all lights are green, kill mode engage. I grab him around the collar and I throw him across the room to the front door, dragging him out by his leg. If we are going to fight, it's outside, I respect peoples property. It didn't last very long, and he was getting tossed around like a bitch. He got some good punches in but I'm more of a grappler.The GM wife game home.The car pulls up, she gets out, and sees this guy, covered in blood, thrown into the garage door making a nice trail."Hey bear""Hey gm wife"He goes inside and according to GM all she said was. "AGAIN WITH THE TABLE!"After the fight, 3 was only ever seen one last time.
>>20188050That makes one of us
>>20188021Cheers Anon, now I feel informed.You're doin' a service.
>>20188016>>20188050>He fucked 3.HUGE TYPO!I'm sorry guys, He fucked the hambeast!
"AGAIN WITH THE TABLE"GM's wife is fucking awesome.
>>20188070>After the fight, 3 was only ever seen one last time.It wasn't to run you or Bro over, right?
>>20188070>one last timeDamn you.
>>20187879Normally, I'm completely against police brutality in any fashion.But I might let it slide in this case, if only because Fem deserved it and needed to be knocked down a few pegs.
>>20188070>"AGAIN WITH THE TABLE!">my face
>>20188070You, Bro, GM, and his wife. all of you need medals of honor, for acts of great valor in the face of societies worst.
So wait. Bro's wife, the women who saved all your asses, who seeked vengeance on the femnazi bitch who broke Bro's leg, the one who then proceeded to make it her mission in life to make sure that the person who fucked with her man would rue the day; was fucking cheated on by him! The fuck is this! This was an awesome story OP, up until now. Yes, I mad.
>>20188117No spoilers, well bro wasn't hurt anyway.Maybe I should be a massive cocktease and save Hambeast returns for another day.
>>20188144Please don't.I need your stories.They're like cocaine.
>>20188144i am seconds from flagging this post for acts of terrorism
>>20188070>3 was only ever seen one last timeAw year, here it comes!
>>20188140That was GM's wife. I wish to call you an idiot, but you just misread. Bro is single
>>20188140gm's wife, not bros wife.
>>20188140No, the wife is GM's wife, not bro's wife.
>>20188144Oh for the love of god don't. Im reading this all out loud to my sister.
>>20188140GM's wife, not Bro's.
>>20188140GM's wife, the cop.Bro has no wife. He is scared of commitment, as his ex's say. Honestly he just hates to be tied down. Besides most of the girls he meets is through me, and you get weird ones at my job.
>>20188144It's possible all of us here now won't be there that day.You wouldn't do that to us, would you?
>>20188144if you do that i'll hunt you down and rape you
>>20188200No. Do worse. Give him fuel to write more stories like this by personally introducing more horrors to his gaming life.
>>20188216what if i took all his dice and melted them down?
>Everyone Alright you guys I'll post. the final.BUT FIRST!BONUS ROUND!When bro fucked fem.As we mentioned we got Really fucking drunk on session 3. REALLY! fucking drunk. So we all stayed at GM's His basement is converted to a bunch of bedrooms and a gym so it's all cool, me and bro stay there all the time. So it's the middle of the night I hear moaning, oh god hambeast is at it again. But no, its higher pitched. I go to see what the fuck it is, and it's bro, bro is fucking destroying fem doggy style. I laugh and bro gives me the thumbs up then smacks her ass. NEXT POST!The last chapter.
Welp I feel like a total ass hole here. This whole time I was thinking GM's was Bro's. I'm afraid I massivly misread.I am terriably sorry OP. Please allow me to commit honorable sudiko In your honor to atone.
>>20188227Depends on if he's a gamer that is superstitious and treasures his dice or doesn't care. If he doesn't care, that does nothing.
>>20187966>He buried his lil hipster dick in the grand canyon known as her cunt. And he took photos. And when game time came, he handed them to 3. over the lineburn in hell bear
>>20188236>bro is fucking destroying fem doggy style. I laugh and bro gives me the thumbs up then smacks her ass.
>>20188236>>20188236plot twist out of fucking nowherei did not see that coming. at all.
>>20188070>ntr a guy and gets away with ityour freind deserved to get slapped around by 3 and so do you also if the wife is some kind of law enforcement officer why would she leave a guy bloody on her garage door
>>20188260The only acceptable way!
I'm confused, so bro fucked fem, and the session after fucking fem he killed her character, and then she ran him over, and then he had cripple sex with hambeast, who was lusted after by 3, who bro also fucked? What the fuck am I reading?
>>20188313a soap opera
>>20188300Because Policemen don't always do what's right.And she might have been off the clockOk, while normally I'd feel bad for a guy who got NTR'd, Hambeast is a weeaboo yoai-fangirl hambeast who masturbated during a game of DnD.WHY DOES ANYONE WANT TO FUCK THAT?!No sympathy for 3. Sounds pathetic.
>>20188312doesnt mean she aint a cunt
>>20188236Final chapter return of the hambeast.Hambeast had left when 3 did, our campaign didn't last much longer, I ended up critically failing a fall and died, and bro didn't want to roll solo. So we ended the campaign and went back to our other one.Now as you can probably guess, bro told ham he didn't like her, and it was all to piss 3 off, he doesn't beat around the bush. But on the upside he also told her 3 was crushing hard, and apparently they got together. Good for them I say, bro's work is on my drive from my work to home, so we always ride together.Something I should mention, I'm a tattoo artist. So one day in shop, guess who walks in, It's fucking hambeast."Holy shit ham, how the hell are you""Good considering you beat my boyfriend half to death""He was about to attack a cripple, what do you want from me"So I do her tattoo, and we have a laugh about the whole incident. She god a weird symbol on her lower back, apparently its from an anime but I've never seen it before. So I pull back the curtains for her to wave her out.3 sees me.Shit is about to go down.
>>20188313Pure unadulterated humanity
>>20188327I WISH soap operas were this cool.
>>20188313oh jesus its like a cacophonous avalanche of absurdities and hilarity
>>20188336>WHY DOES ANYONE WANT TO FUCK THAT?!why does /d/ want to fuck what /d/ wants to fuckthe heart wants what the heart wants
>>20188338WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME
>>20188338>So I pull back the curtains for her to wave her out.>3 sees me.>Shit is about to go down.
BRO-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN>oh god mah sides
>>20188313>I'm confused, so bro fucked fem, Yes>and the session after fucking fem he killed her character,Correct>and then she ran him over,A while after yes>and then he had cripple sex with hambeast,Unfortunately>who was lusted after by 3,Yes>who bro also fucked?That was a typo >What the fuck am I reading?The adventures of bro's magical dick party!
>>20188361> HeartWrong body part, mate
>>20188388Off topic question. What's the weirdest tattoo someone has ever requested?
>>20188338Oh Gork no
>>20188393heart pumps blood to the benis-bone
>>20188388Bro never fucked the feminazi. He fucked her OVER, though. There's a difference.A sexy difference.
>>20188423He DID fuck Fem though
>>20188423see>>20188236I also misread it the first time.
>>201883383 gets up and charges at me"YOU FUCKING CUNT!"One of the guys working there steps in"Woa fuck no, not in here, outside""You seriously want me to fight this guy?""Yer, I want to see you get your ass whooped by that guy""You're a dick"So guy tells me to take the day off. It was lunch break anyway and bro would be here soon, he just got out of crutches and I don't want him getting back in them.So I'm standing outside. And we scrap.Same thing that happened last time really, he got a few good punches in, I got more. I am enjoying myself. He is in full of flail fight mode. We had gone a good half way down the street I throw him to the side as I catch my breath."We done here?" Thats when he rushed me, grabbed me around the stomach, and stabbed me.
>>20188459>Not using 4chan X
>>20188461>>20188463>>20188423>>20188434My bad!Have my mental image of bro as an excuse.
>>20188459use 4chan x if you're browsing with firefox, just google it
>>20188485oh holy shit muthafukas this be real
What kind of fucking people do you hang out with where there's so many knives and people stabbing eachother? I mean what the fuck
>>20188485well op now you knowbe a dick get the dick
>>20188400Either cutiemark (The apples) on a middle-aged man.Or a octopus with this man's dog's face. With the words, you are beautiful on it.
>>20188513It's England, they all stab each other.
>>20188485Dude wtf!Where do you find a bunch of people like that in one group!That's truly bad luck
>>20188434shit, I missed that detail as well
>>20188513He's British.We have to carry three knives at all times
>>20188485Fucking crazy fuckers and their goddamned knives.
>>20188534>Three knives>Not four knives, a pistol, pepper spray, a tazer and a shotgun in the trunk of the car.
>>20188485>and stabbed mewelp.... OP's a ghost
>>20188553It's the UK. No Guns Allowed.
>>20188553>England>Having rooty tooty point and shootys
>>20188563Please, not here. Take that back to /v/.
>>20188555>implying people always die when they are stabbed
>>20188553Dude, its Britain, not Australia.
>>20188485>and stabbed me.I hope you raped his anus with the knife. Bring a knife to a fistfight like a pussy ass bitch, expect to get hurt with it.
>>20188571People do die when they are killed though.
>>20188590Nah. Even if you killed OP, he wouldn't die.
>>20188571damn i need sleep
>>20188519That's some punk shit, dude. Sometimes you just get your ass kicked. It doesn't mean that guy should try and kill you the next time you see him. If you fight and lose, you just lose.I hope you never get in a fight because apparently the kind of guy who would shoot someone even if you started it.
>>20188590I hear dying is the leading cause of death.
>>20188574>Thinking that's the Australia load out.Anyone have the copy paste list. I can't be assed to type it all out.
>>20188513Hey, I didn't hang out with these people. They were introduced by a mutual friend.CONTINUING!So I step back, my shirt is now changing from green to red quite fast. This guy is just panting holding the knife in his hand, he drops the knife. I go survival mode. Adrenaline pumping, have to do something fast. Brain, not working, take him down with me!I flip the guy over my shoulders slamming him flat on his back, I drop to my knees over him, and I punch, I punch and punch and punch, with everything I have left. Ham is screaming, why aren't my work mates looking out at this.Punch, punch, punch. Slowing down, the guys not moving. I win haha. I hear. "BEAR THE FUCK!?"It's bro, right on time, lunch time. Shit goes black.
>>20188590A true man doesn't die, even when he's killed.
I have to ask: are you in Glasgow?
>>20188605Actually... If you look at the statistics, every person who has ever died has breathed air at some point in their lives... The only conclusion you can reach from this is that air is probably some very dangerous drug which causes fatality.
>>20188636What about miscarriages that die without ever leaving the womb?
>>20188636what about infants that never left the womb
>inb4 walk the dinosaur
>>20188636What about stillborns?
>>20188649Silly /tg/, abortions aren't people.
>>20188610Is that the one that recommends carrying around a rocket launcher.
>>20188649In most countries that's not counted as a human dieing.
>>20188636In fact, statistics also show that the people who have taken the most breaths of air have the longest lifespans. I would like to propose that breathing actually decreases your chances of dying.
>>20188649>>20188650Technically, the fetus is still receiving oxygen from the mother.
>>20188636Actually, unbound oxygen is a carcinogen.But then so is everything else.
I would like to point out that breast milk AND baby formula both contribute to humans who have at some point in their lives, died.
>>20188677true, but they aren't "breathing air" as >>20188636 mentions
>>20188649Not everyone dies from air, just most people.Do you really want to risk it?airisnot4me.com
>>20188667Yes... But they still will die eventually whether they take their hit of this horrible drug or not. Therefore, air is still fatal.
>>20188667But those people's bodies are the worst off. Their bones become brittle and weak, their memory goes to shit, and their senses get worse and worse. I propose like >>20188636 that air is a poison
>>20188613Wait hang on so did you die? Is that why you stopped posting?
>>20188619sounds like Glasgow.
>>20188690As has skin.
>>20188706Air is the poison, let me show you the cure!http//semenlovers.com
>>20188725Maybe he took a deep breath to finish the story, and the air got him
What if air is heavily chemically addictive substance?Without access to it, your body immediately goes into a violent withdrawl, producing a feeling as though one was being choked, or unable to respirate.Hence, it would explain why the elderly die. Their lungs weaken and are unable to take in the drug. Their bodies go into shock, and they die due to withdrawal.
>>20188613PLEASE TELL US MORE, SILENTBEAR.Also, is anyone else imagining him as a bulkier version of Sabaton's lead singer?
>>20188619Afraid not man.>>20188613Wake up, bright light in ma eyes, fucking cunts shining shit at me. Turns out bro called an ambulance for me. Took me into surgery fixed me up.First thing I did when I came to was punch him. Bro fucking everything got me stabbed. He paid for pizza though so it's all good. But I got out of it ok, No idea what happened to hambeast, and 3? Apparently he is in jail now. Hopefully I won't get stabbed again any time soon.So that's my story tg, of a hambeasts rage, unwanted man love, 50 shades of grey, bro's magical dicking adventure and a trip to the hospital.
>>20188773Unless Sabaton's lead singer is a bear, then no.Because I'm imagining him as a bear.
>>20188780Cool story bear. I laughed alot. Glad you made it out okay too!
>>20188780That is one of the best stories on /tg/ I have ever read.Have a kitten.
You made my night, thank you sir.
>>20188780Now, no matter how bad my group might seem, I can remember you and recall that it's not really that bad.
Stories like this make me very thankful for my group.Also, SilentBear, I'm amazed that campaign ever actually made it past the third session.
>>20188780you sir are a god. does anyone have a screen cap for a lazy tired man to cherish?
That was some good storytiem, Bear.
>>20188780So does bro still go on magical dicking tours or have you asked him to tone it down some so that you get in less fights?
>>20188780It's been a wild ride, SilentBear. Now I can finally fucking sleep.
>>20188780now tell the one where you kill yourself
ARCHIVE THIS SHIT
Anyone compile all this together?I was looking forward to sleeping soon and I'm not sure if I have it in me to put all these posts together.
Am I the only one who thinks that Bro getting Fem pregnant would have cause many a laugh?
>>20188817You gotta hand it to GM. He keeps shit going.Me and bro have done it all from, tentacle rape games, harem games, pokemon, starwars, universe hopping hobos on couches. GM is fucking scary when he plays serious. Maybe I will share the tales of GM one day. He once made a player shit themselves. Anything you guys want to know?
>>20188881let's hear that shit story, that's always fun.
>>20188780thanks for the story SilentBear, and for what it's worth i seriously hope that your group gets members that are more sane in the head
>>20188881Yea, how'd he make a player shit themselves?
>>20188881Just one question here. What patches do you have on your studded vest?
>>20188881No, please, no more stories. I stumbled across this thread on what was supposed to be one last quick glance over the front page before finally going to bed. I need to sleep...
>>20188825Fuck no that man cannot keep it in his pants.>>20188844I was playin dnd and i was like oh noe this is worst group eva an i got a gun and blew ma brains out now im a ghost boo!
>>20188881Very well done OP, amazing read!
>>20188881Share the tales bear!Also did you play a game of being boxcar joes given you mentioned universe hopping hobo's on couches?
>>20188913Holy fucking boxcar joe.
>>20188881I call BS on the whole thing now. You should have just posted as Waffle House Millionaire.
God damn SB that is some crazy shit. You and your partner in crime are men among men, though.
>>20188924>>20188913We based it off that story yes>>20188898Bears. Nothing but bears and vodka.>>20188897I'm going to save it for another day. Just say it involved metal chairs, electricity, me and bro wearing makeup, and beer.
>>20188946Nah WHM lives in America so he would have been shot not stabbed.Plus boxcar joe is that well known that many people have ripped it off even if they didn't get it from their RNG
>>20188989You can't save it for another day now. Not after that teaser.
>>20187107Apropos of nothing, you are now my best friend evar.
>>20188989Bu..B-but /tg/ LIKE storytiem!
>>20188989If you ever find yourself in the ass end of nowhere western Australia make sure you tell us bear.I will have to buy you a drink for this story.
>>20189008>>20189004Fine fine>>20188946And if you are wondering about the games, boxcar joe was inspired by /tg/ stories so we copied that, it went pretty well. The tentacle stuff was with another GM. GM still played with us but someone else was the game master.OK story of GM making someone shit.GM has allot of free time, he works at home, computer stuff. He knows how to do ALLOT of shit, when he isn't working, out with his wife, or GMing, he is studying. His game room is full of models, art work, sculptures etcOne of the things he is good at is makeup and special effects.So he told us we are going to be doing a lovecraft style horror game. The game goes pretty well, the lights are dim he has audio in the background, shits great. About 3 sessions in Newbie blurts out. "Ha horror, I'm not scared of any of this" Thats when GM looked truly sad with himself. And when GM has that look on his face, we know shits about to get real.
Archive and bump the fuck up for this amazing thread.BRAVO GOOD SIR!
This is a thatguy general, correct? Not just the awesome story of bear?My experience is from a fairly freeform rp, with minecraft as the medium. The main idea of the server was three main factions with a small group of thieves with very limited building rights/capabilities. Anways, thats background.Thatguy is a mid-teen kid who clearly came from /d/. His character was introduced as an Ice-dwarf, So lets refer to him as Ice. The server has three chat methods, two localized methods, One for speaking, one for shouting . The third was a global chat, and it was strictly out of character. The ideas this fucktard came up with are/were staggering, and he chose to voice them in global, whatever they may have been.One of his more prominent actions was: He was given creative to help with contruction of one of the attempts of the world ((Currently at world 4)). He used said creative to give himself a chest full of diamonds. The way I heard it, he nearly pissed himself screaming when the GMs found it.Anyone interested in Ice?
>>20188989Nice. I think I may have to copy you with some of those in between my various ones
>>20189117Go for it.
>>20189078Now when GM gets serious, its scary. one time we told him his dungeon was a little small.The next session he told us we found the access to the next floor, he then proceeded to take out 3 sheets of a1 paper. "Welcome to the second floor" So when he sent us a message to meet at his house a few hours early. We knew what to expect.When we got there, we were quickly taken to the basement, where he applied out makeup. Simple enough, it was a face on our face, with fake blood and meaty stuff underneath.With the lighting of the room, and all the extra stuff you barely could notice unless you really looked close. All the chairs in the game room has been replaced with metal ones, he had wired Newbies chair up with shocks. Then we saw his chair, the chair itself was normal, but it had a full body suit on it, which GM put himself into.The game had begun.
Storyteim is best teim
Well damn. My standard murderhobo-no-character-development-kill-everything-for-no-reason thatguy pales in comparison.
>>20188750fucking air man. It gets the best of
I don't really have any issues with "That Guy" or "That Group", as I've been playing with the same group of people since I was introduced to tabletops in High School. I do, however, have a story. It's nowhere near as glorious as Sleeping Bear's story, but it's there.Our DM worked at GameStop, and was very good at his job, in that he could sell games like Odin Sphere to the CoD/Madden crowd using only the information from the back of the case and his own natural charisma. Similarly, he was able to convince fellow employees that tabletop games are the fucking shit and they should play them, and once in a while we would find that he invited them to a session. Usually they would leave after one or two sessions, deciding the game wasn't really for them. The last one to join, however, is the closest I've ever come to That Guy.
>>20189198I can't even think of a fake name for this person. He liked most JRPGs because "Their stories are superior in every way to WRPGs", hates Mass Effect because the Citadel bored him to death, plays CoD/Battlefield/Halo with friends, and tried to argue with me over how science and technology works when I work a successful career of IT and he still works at GameStop (His counter being "I'm not motvated by money, I work here because I enjoy it") He's also the only friend I've ever charged money to fix their computer, and still I "accidentally" forgot to back up his Maid porn.Aside from all that, he was a decent player and brought decent ideas to the table. Eventually Original DM got too busy to hold regular sessions, so it fell to New DM. The problem was New DM left town for most of the year to learn how to be a Successful Doctor Person at some fancy school down south. So the only time we got together for games was in the summer months. We'd make characters, run his campaigns that were well paced enough to conclude just in time for him to go back to school, and then we'd go back to our dreary lives.
>>20189219Last year, New DM was super hyped about this game called Rogue Trader. You may have heard of it; it's set in the 40k universe and you get to be Space Pirates and it's really cool. GameStop, however, had no prior knowledge of the 40k universe, and we spent an entire day in character creation, most of us so we could have new game mechanics explained to us, him so we could explain the 40k setting to him. He hated it. He couldn't understand how The Imperium could still exist after 10 thousand years of fighting, and didn't see why we should devote our every action to some God Emperor who no one had ever seen, and, as far as he was concerned, was dead. We're trying to play it down, it's a super sci-fi setting, heavy emphasis on fantasy, it's supposed to be grim and dark and bizarre. This is when he brought up World of Darkness. He said it was also grim and dark but its setting made perfect sense because it was set in the real world but with vampires, and it had similar mechanics with less dice rolls and more roleplaying and was therefor the superior setting. But eventually he had his character made, and we were ready to Space Pirate the next week.So I'm the Rogue Trader, I'm flying to planets, waving my Warrant Of Trade around like It's money, and shooting Xenos, life is good. GameStop is getting more and more agitated as the game goes on, however. Finally, in the middle of combat, he slams his dice down, exclaiming "I'm bored!" We kinda look at him for a second, then finish the fight. Afterwards, me and New DM talk it out with him, the lengthy conversation ending with me telling him "Look, if you think you can do a better job, then run some World of Darkness or something, instead of sitting here ruining our game time."
Hey SilentBear, i just wanted to let you know that you are the first tripfag i have unfiltered ever
>>Engage in fun activities with a tight-knight group of friends.>>Friend introduces new members to group, whose beliefs and behaviors annoy original clique.>>Rather than being adult about things and either discussing the issues openly or simply ceasing play with the annoying elements, both sides escalate conflict to cruel and violent levels.>>Nerds on the internet masturbate to the idea of making a man-hater so horny she becomes a slave to her sexual urges.>>Implying the entire thing isn't masturbatory wish-fulfillment fiction.>>Implying I'm not masturbating to it right now.
>>20189117I DO!>>20189174So, Newbie arrives, bringing nothing as normal, instantly snagging a packets of wotsits, bro's face dropped. House rule, wotsits belong to bro. It's his favourite crisps. We play normal, things would happen, then Newbie lost some sanity points, the chair shocked himAgain a small shock, making him jump."The fuck is going on?""Stop being weird continue gm"So newbie is getting paranoid, then a piece of slime dropped from the roof, nobody addressed it accept newbie."GUYS SERIOUSLY THE FUCK?!"The doors all slam shut, we still ignore it. Newbie is freaking out now.he looses more sanity points, more stuff happens. Then the masks came into place, we start scratching at our face, little bits of meat falling off, blood dripping down."GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING"bro: "MY FACE IS ITCHING"me: "TAKE IT OFF GET IT OFF!"Newbie bolts for the door trying to get out. GM STAND UP! The audio is now something from a glitched video game, his suit opens from the front pouring guts all over the table he shouts to her "LET ALL AS OF ONE BECOME ONTO THEE" Lifts his hand to point at them before the hand falls offNewbie is crying scratching at the door. GM wife opens the door full cop uniform shouting "THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE"Newbie still in panic mode runs right into GM splat, right into the blood and guts, gm opens his mouth, as fake worms and blood flows out. The rivers open, newbie pisses himself right there falls to his knees and all you can hear is that brown noise. Then the smell. We couldn't hold character. "OH GOD THE FUCK? Did you seriously just do that?!"Newbie gets up runs freaks out that we did that to him.You don't mess with GM
>>20189139First and foremost, Ice's first character I heard of on the server started out as the leader of the dwarven faction, despite being a snowflake amongst them. All the puns. At this point, I had never actually contacted him, I was playing a human engineer, and had no need of even seeing him. Also, we had, when we started, 30-40 players. That number has dwindled significantly, but whatever. So even engaging one specific player was not a common occurrence. However, I had learned in global chat quite enough about this fucker. First, that he is/was a child. Second, he NEEDS constant attention, which is what I am assuming fueled the majority his interjections of stupid. Third: He recently discovered Corruption of Champions, and felt that he needed to tell us this. All of us. And that he had spent 10+ hours straight playing it. And that was playing it next to minecraft. And that it gave him a naga fetish. I hope you see the fucktardedness of this kid by now. I hadnt even met Ice the Ice-dwarf at this point. Then the world froze over.
>>20189243The next session, we all sit down, and he starts explaining WoD to us, and we're ready to make characters. He begins to tell us about Werewolves and how awesome Werewolves are and how Werewolves are better than everything else and also Werewolves. He then gave us the choice of what we wanted to play. We chose Vampires. Well, two of em chose Vampires, I wanted to play a human who knew my friend was a Vampire and didn't care. Apparently this isn't allowed in Vampire The Requiem or something, so I stick with Vampire. We then start making characters, but only the human part of our characters, because GameStop only brought two books with him. Core and Werewolves. We'd have to wait next session to finish.Next session, GameStop brings the Vampire book and starts helping us make characters, trying to make my friend's wife's character work (which was admittedly a little That Girl-ish) and explaining the different clans and how they all worked together. When I explained my character he tried to have me make up my own new branch of magic...or something? I didn't even understand how Vampire magic works, but he wanted me to have some homebrew variation of it, and he wanted ME to design it myself. I chose instead to forgo any magic at all and took only powers that boost my social skills. We didn't finish that night. We didn't finish the next night either, because instead of giving us the book and explaining how things worked, he kept all the books to himself and worked with us individually, asking us what we wanted our character to do, and telling us where to put stats and points to do it.
>>20189249Don't worry I will only use it for story time.
>>20189301>Implying there's more stories to comeI am so excited.
>>201893004th night, our characters are made and we're ready to play. GameStop shows up and explains that he's not ready to run the campaign yet. We've spent 3 weeks making characters and he hasn't even made enough stuff to run 1 session. So we play anyway, he startts making things up in a prequel session to explain how we meet. We're in a casino, there's a gunshot and an explosion, and we're expected to investigate. At this point the 4 of us have silently agreed to just troll the guy. My guy is a coward and runs out, just as terrified as the mortals, New DM tries to rob people, friend decides to diguise himself as a maintence worker and crawl around in the ducts, and friend's wife decides this is so boring that she goes to her day job. Shenanigans happen, friend gets caught and arrested, but when he's carried out of the casino he says "But I am Jan Itor. Bleh!", my character knows immediatly that this man is a vampire in peril, because he said the Secret Vampire Code Word: "Bleh!" and drove after them. They turn into an alley, and I stopped just before the alley to sneak up on them. This is when it finished, however, as it was this point when GameStop decided he had enough and ragequit his own campaign. We then banned GameStop from our group for wasting our precious fucking time, and spent the last month we had playing DnD
>>20189300Oh god wut.It's a fucking simple system with fucking simple rules and he's not letting you see them?Also, general note, very few people on /tg/ are not familiar with 40k, as it's part of the reason the board exists, moot was tired of warhammer wednesdays for being unrelated to his interests, and so we got /tg/. Also run-on sentences.
>>20189312Well I just got a text from GM "Hey bear get some time off work, I'm going to my house in whales you are coming with me, bro already said its cool. we are going to larp with some friends of friend"WHAT THE FUCK GM!
>>20189338I expect stories.
>>20188780everyone stabs everyone in england... wtf is with you people?
>>20189338catalog the events that transpire, we must know!
>>20189338This will make for an excellent tale, bear bard.
>>20189338you know what to do SlientBear...
So it's fucking embarrassing, but I'll admit I started LARPing this year because my fiancée and her friends have been doing it for years.Well, last event, there was a big Tournament going on between the players and a rival NPC faction. Things were going great, it was a mix of awesome RP events like a blacksmithing competition and then actual combat events too. Well, it's time for the mage duel, so we're all excited as fuck, the events beforehand have been absolutely insanely fun, and we can't wait to see some crazy spell-slinging, right?One of the PCs steps into the dueling circle. The mage NPC steps in on the other side, the NPC running the duel goes through the rules, and then BAM it begins.Only it doesn't. The PC stands, stock-still, sizing up the NPC mage.We're thinking, okay, cool, this is going to be a calculated fight. We sit silently, watching like hawks, eyeing first one duelist and then the other, waiting for the first one to flinch.Nothing happens.
>>20189338I won't be able to sleep until i finally get to hear what will happen on that day.There will be no rest.Also, gonna post that story about That Vermin Guy now.
>>20189391Okay, we figure, it's going to be one of those mind-battle type things, right? Where instead of actually firing spells off at each other, they do the whole samurai duel stare-down for 10 minutes. A little weird, but hey it's good RP right? So we wait some more.Ten minutes turns to fifteen. Fifteen to twenty. Twenty to half an hour. Still nothing.At this point we're all looking at each other and silently mouthing "what the fuck," right? We're figuring, "okay this has gone on long enough, someone's gonna crack, right? ... right?"No dice. THIS STARING CONTEST GOES ON FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS.Finally it's starting to get dark, the next event is getting ready to begin, so the judge goes, "the first person to cast a spell wins the duel!"Thirty seconds of silence. Finally, Sven the Warrior stands up, yells out, "I've had enough of this bullshit!" and uses a racial ability that's technically a spell.And that's how a non-spellcaster won the mage duel. Fuckin' Sven.
>>20189338Pray to the Emperor that there are only fake weapons
I told GM I will go, but I swear to god If I get stabbed again I'm mauling you all. "What are your measurements"I am creeped out already.
>>20189397why didnt they use spells?
Now, That world was destroyed by a GM who could not into plugins. There was a story event, a bit of fun, A lot of rule revision, Fun stuff. Essentially, there was a bit of rockiness in that "Session", and before the next world was even started, the rules were refined. A lot. The thieves were cracked down on hard, Because they had been turned into "lol I griff yu"The new world opened a lot of opportunities. So, a lot of people decided to have let the "frozen apocalypse" kill their characters and start anew. I was among that number. Ice was not. Ice decided to entertain his TF fetish by having his male ice-dwarf turn into some kind of ice-elf female. This is already fairly silly considering everything, but we all chalked it up to lolmagic. I played a kobold. In my first encounter with Ice, He decided a diamond sword was the best thing to wave at me. My bow decided otherwise. I forgot to mention, The thieves are all kobolds. Not all kobolds were thieves, but they had/have strict rules. His first reaction to other races for a quite a while was "lolracism", and tried to loudly promote said racism. I can only assume this was because of the only ERP I have heard of on the server.
>>20189423They were trying to out-willpower the other by seeing which one would back down. Magic is all the power of your own will afterall.Meanwhile, there's another bar mitzvah coming in and the tables aren't cleared yet. This is why Sven wasn't having any of that shit.
>>20189462thats stupid as hell
>>20189408Hopefully it's for some sweet ass armor and not a dress or something.
>>20189475>Mental battle of willpower, in an attempt to discern who's will is stronger and therefore more powerful in magic>Implying that is not awesome
To put you all in context, a few month ago i decided that i wanted to play a character, I'm forever dm with the same group for years now.None of them can dm, so i asked the only person in the group that frequent our LGS if he could try to hook me up with someone over there. ( I never go there cause half the place is adult comic book, and people just fap in that section, so it smell like semen in there. )He already had experience with going to other guy with people he meet there, so he hooked me up with a group and also joined.I pick him up and we go to that guy house.We enter the place, it's a nice house, pretty big, the very first thing i notice. That person is a Vermin Freak. I mean pet shop level freak, there is aquarium everywhere filled with scorpion, tarantula, centipede, all kind of vermin you don't ever want to find in your house.I'm no so happy to be there, I'm fucking afraid of all those spiders, but i decide to stick around anyway, my friend is there and all of them are in their aquarium.The Game isn't so great, but it's not bad, you can see that the dm is trying. Half-way through the game, we get in a fight with Goblin riding Tarantula. No big deal it's normal.We put our mini on the map, when the dm look around and get up and leave the room, we look at each other around the table since he said nothing, we're thinking he's missing some mini.He come back, both his hands closed together, sit back.Put a live Tarantula on the map, take a goblin mini, put it on the Tarantula back and says :"Roll for initiative."I stormed out of there faster than the fucking law of physic. Everyone soon followed me, since it seems i somehow angered the spider and after i ran for it, she decided to do the same across the table.That's like 7 month ago...
>>20189462Sven gets into the most goddamn trouble, I swear.One event, we were attacked by a giant fucking treant that had gotten corrupted by an evil spirit. It was attacking the town, and we had to hold it off while someone played an enchanted flute to cleanse the taint from the treant.Well, the treant costume was fucking amazing. It was worn by this like 6'2" staff member in a ghillie suit with a giant fucking sculpted head and matching massive tree-limb hands, and the eyes lit up and glowed. We were busy keeping the treant's minions away from the flute player while she played, and the treant was just wrecking shit. One of the PCs drops and Sven breaks rank to drag him back to the healers. Next thing I see is a pair of GIANT GLOWING EYES coming up from behind him in the darkness."SVEN!" I yell, pointing past him.He sighs and drops the PC he was dragging. He doesn't turn around. "It's right behind me, isn't it?" he says.
>>20189495That's just it, it turned out to be fucking awesome. It went from weird to stupid to absurd to bizarre to fucking unbelievable RP. If we didn't have the next event coming up using the same dueling ring we would have let them go on all goddamn night.
>>20189286>RL san loss.GM is a fantastic guy.
can someone post a cap of bear's story?-thanksAlso thanks mr.bear, I was creating my new wizard character when I found this. >mfw
>>20189509The treant swipes him, doing massive damage to Sven, sending him flying, breaking all his armor. At this point he's almost dead, his armor's broken, he's been disarmed, all he has left is his shield and like 2 health.So does Sven drop back and call for a healer? FUCK THAT THIS IS SVEN SVENSON MOTHERFUCKER. He runs up to the treant and fucking shield bashes it.Now in LARP you don't actually shield bash another player, you call out the name of the skill you're using so you don't actually, you know, split someone's skull open with a shield. So Sven doesn't actually HIT the NPC with his shield, but he yells SHIELD BASH! so fucking hard as he places his shield up to intercept a blow that the rubber treant hand bounces back up and slaps both glowing eyes right off the face of the treant mask.Sven just looks down at the eyes on the grass and without a beat says, "that's right, fucker."We had to pause the encounter to hot-glue the eyes back on the costume.
>>20189408You gonna get trapped
So, we had a GM who was passable at low levels but could not into balance with any high end game. We were playing DH and had gotten to fairly high level and he FINALLY started letting us get things like bolt pistols, heavy weapons, my psyker finally got a force sword.But he would plan things out meticulously when playing with me (playing a psyker and skilled at accidentally the plot), bro-tier gamestore owner (playing an assassin and skilled at left-field solutions) were both in the game.He got frustrated that all battles turned into roflstomp battles for one side or the other, so he finally makes a character he thinks will equal the assassin for what he imagines will be a 'cool epic showdown'.Which basically involved both sides being unable to touch the other.He is slowly being phased out of the gaming groups, which is sad, as I am now heading to grad school and need to find a new group down there.
>>20189408Dude you are going to be a terror at that fucking game. I would pay real money to watch this unfold.
>>20189501Now a few weeks ago.I wanted to give a try to some idea i had for my Pathfinder campaign, it was pretty much a test run.I invited my friend that introduced me to That Vermin Guy and told him to bring some people with him, it was only going to be for one night anyway.He come to my apartment, with 2 peoples I've never meet before and he tell me another one is on his way. Little did i know i would meet That Vermin Guy again.He finally come to my door his backpack on his shoulder, like everyone else so i don't bother with it.He sit down like everyone else, and this time I'm expecting everything to go well, it's not his place after all.We game, it's a Siege Ball Test run for Pathfinder.Near the end of the Game, the players team is losing, so That Vermin Guy, who is a caster, try to summon creature to help everyone.Go right away into his backpack, I'm scared shitless at that point, take out some badger miniature and elemental.Still doing work, they are losing.Repeat, he goes back again...This time, this FUCKING time.He pull out a small translucent insect box, with a fuck huge centipede inside of it.One player that got invited was a girl, she start screaming like she just saw the ghost of her ancestor. I'm already up and right away tell the guy that he will not open that in my house, look at me and start pouting, telling me it's huge a centipede there is no problem with it.After arguing a moment he finally decide that he'll use some other mini instead of a real centipede. Put the box back into his backpack.Everything is fine.
>>20189630Throw his backpack on the couch at his back.Puck!Yes, that sound those stupid plastic box make when they open ?Do you know what sound a running centipede on my couch do ? The sound of a screaming girl and horror of a child dream.Worst fucking event to happen in this apartment. I had to chase after a centipede with my boots, while the idiot was begging me to let him catch it again.My friend was the one to finally get it, with the CRB, it made a mess and it was awful. Thankfully it was his, not mine.I'm sticking to my usual group from now on.
>>20189445This bit is all hearsay, I hadnt met the other person involved at all, and I was busy setting up my home under the elven city. Apparently, The erp was a gaia-esque rape scene, between some human guy, and Ice, the male-ice-dwarf-turned-female-elf-thing being the victim. Now, the majority of these people are from /tg/, and im sure a few who see this might even recognize everything. That being said, Hi guys!At some point, Ice decided his elf/dwarf thing wasnt working anymore, So he made a slightly more grown up elf, with an actual name, other than Ice. This elf was for the majority of this "Session", a guard. Who afk'ed frequently while standing guard. At the top of the wall. with an easy drop into a moat. My kobold ((I think this was kobold #3, they had short lifespans)) decided that pushing the sleeping guardswoman off the wall would be funny as fuck. And it was. Several times.Eventually, Ice decided he was done with the elf, and my current kobold (#4) had a reason to want "her" dead. So we planned it out, and were slightly interrupted by the local sheriff. Who was interrupted by an OP playing a dragon, who had been apparently asked by Ice to kill him. In the confusion of the dragon attack, Ice ((currently crippled)) was hauled inside somewhere. Unguarded. So I took my opportunity. I stabbed "her" in the throat with a sharpened cow's leg-bone. Ice's rather annoying character was finally dead! Or so I had thought. Aparently, Just after the elf had died, a healer helped her, and Ice decided he didnt ACTUALLY want to die after all. Then he proceeded to decide that the kobold be sentenced to death.And this is were I go to bed.
>>20189655FINISH THE STORY
>>20189655not cool man
>>20189655I still up, Ill make it short: Kobold escaped the city, because fuck those guys. Soon after, Ice is cleansed in the fires of a dwarven ritual designed to cleanse only evil. Ice is dead, and now known to be evil as fuck. So kobold was forgiven for the murder thing. Then a fuckall crazy elf blew up the local Kobold hideout. Then the my kobold decided that the best way to pray to the the spirits ((kobold shaman thing)) was to sit on top of the most magicaly unstable thing in the world. And Pray to the "Splodey spirit" for revenge. Thus ends world 3.
>>20187492>Koop de grassThis is only funny if that was done intentionally.
>>20187742The whole feminist movement is retarded.
>>20190203There are idiot gamers, therefore all gamers are retarded.The actual thing to take away is "there is no cause so right one can't find a complete fucking retard following it".
>>20190534No, I say this because their ideology is stupid. Anyone who believes in that patriarchy bullshit is retarded, which is a key component of feminism.
Just got back from doctors, stopped by GM. Apparently I am going to be larping, he asked me what type of weapon I want, I told him I want either an axe, mace, flail or some bitching punching gauntlets. And a big ass shield.Its official Expect to see the adventures of bear, bro and gm next week. Also just noticed this thread is on sup /tg/ Didn't know you guys were so amused.
>>20191606It was a good thread, thanks for sharing. Storytime is always appreciated.