Which is why you have just powerslided and barrel-rolled an Abrams through a dimension rift, and are currently dealing with the fact that you have a very drunk and VERY STRONG red oni grinning at you from her position leaning on the hood of the remaining humvee. A red oni who has already demonstrated numerous times that she does not have a very good hold on her temper. Demonstrated it with your face.

........This is either ending in boobs or tears. Perhaps both.

>What do?

[ ] [go to Zuli. Embrace the danger for the sake of oni jubblies]

[ ] [puss out like a bitch, get yelled at by the General instead]

[ ] [Drive the tank back through the rift]

[ ] [go talk to one of the other girls crammed into the Humvee]

[ ] [FIRE ZEE CANNON FOR NO REASON!]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

In the interest of keeping proper progression (and because nothing much happened anyway), I will now post the few posts that I managed to get off.

Well, running away from her at this point would probably only make things worse. She'd catch you eventually. All you would have done is bought her more time in which to come up with more creative ways to brutalize your skeletal structure.

"Booze gods, give me strength, for I go forth in pursuance of the greatest honk of all." You mutter to yourself as you stride towards Zuli, trying for all the world to exude confidence. Dammit, how can you be this nervous!? It's not like.......

.......oh. Right. Magical powers of face-breaking. Totally a legit reason to be nervous. You manage to empty two more bottles of booze on the sort walk to Zuli.

".....errrr. Hello, Zu----" Aaaaand you don't even get to finish the sentence before Zuli leaps up from the hood of the Humvee and seizes you in a bone-crushing bear hug.

"LIIIIIINCOOOOOOLN! You are just (hic) THE BEST!" She cheerfully yells, squeezing you. "This booze is THE BEST EVER AND I LOVE YOU!" You'd like to say something, but you're a bit oxygen starved at the moment. Holy SHIT, she's strong.

Zuli stops smiling for a moment, before holding you away from her and fixing you with a suspicious glare. "Why you (hic) been holdin' out on me, huh? You (hic) said ya cared! Why you been keeping somethin' like (hic) this secret? Eh?" She shakes you slightly, impeding your efforts to gasp for air. Great, she may be more affectionate, but she's even more unpredictable.

HOBO CHARISMA, DON'T FAIL NOW!

[roll 1d20 for epic drunken speechcraft]

"Guuuuhck.....Zuli......air....." you choke out, and the red oni girl obligingly loosens her grip on her neck enough for you to talk the necessary Hobo Game.

"I was about to say, I don't know where it came from either." you confess, hoping to god she believes you.

"Pffffffft, I don't buy that. (Hic) You? Not knowing (hic) alcohol? Not happenin'." She blows you off in a dismissive tone, snickering slightly at the idea.

"No, really! Zuli....." You motion for her to come closer, and she curiously brings you next to her ear.

"...........Zuli, I think it's MAGIC booze." You finish, whispering it conspiratorially to her. She gasps and jerks back from you in alarm.

"NO!" She gasps, a look of drunken glee on her face as she holds you away. You smirk at her.

"I....I never thought (hic) I'd get to taste some!" Zuli's eyes sparkle (clouded with intoxication as they are) at the thought. Wait, magic booze is a thing? Assuming you survive this, you need to look into that STAT.

"Well, I found some, Zuli. And you know what? I wanted to share it with you. Because I've given you such a rough time, I thought you deserved it." You smile fondly at her, even as your internal monologue screams prayers to three dozen different deities that drunk Zuli responds the same way to compliments as sober Zuli.

......Apparently, better.

Awwwwwwwwww......." Zuli croons, face lighting up in a firey blush even as she stares at you adoringly. "Liiiiincoooooln......(hic) you DO care! You crazy (hic) bastard, you. C'mere!" She yanks you in for another hug, smooshing your face into her sizeable oni jubblies. You struggle momentarily until, thinking better of it, you reach your arm up and, in an act of impressive dexterity for one so utterly sloshed, pour the booze in your hand down her tits. You slurp greedily at the liquid as it drips down to your fleshy prison.

.......and holy shit, she's giggling! You're not dead or anything! Your licking is tickling her. AND SHE LIKES IT.

...........If there was a way you had to go, this would probably be up there.

I will refrain from reposting the vore posted by our resident slack-chopping man (who is known by various versions of HUEHUEHUE) in case he wants to repost it himself. Instead, I will begin immediately working on the 3 nat 20 post, because really, holy shit 3 nat 20s you lucky bastards.

Oh yeah, and:

[roll 1d20 for shenanigans/IT'S NOT A DREAM!]

Rolled 12

>>22163081

Rolled 13

Damn, did the last thread 404? I don't think I can pull of the HOOOONK again.

Rolled 8

>>22163098
You don't NEED to roll, SG. We've already established that holy HELL is it not a dream.

Not that I'm not going to roll anyways.

>>22163167
To add credibility to this man's statement, last thread, he made a two-part post, each containing half of HONK. First part was a 1. Second part was a 20.

BLACK SORCERY, I SAY.

Rolled 16

>>22163081
That last thread was but a dream, a booze induced passing phantasmagoria.

Had to leave after I posted my HUE. Did I miss anything?

>can lickox

Looks like captcha is giving me some ideas...

File: 1356154238556.jpg-(622 KB, 2344x3408, Lincoln.jpg)

>>22163178

welcome back.
i got bored waiting for you so i took the liberty of drawing Lincoln in his new suit...

>>22163184
You get bonus points for using "phantasmagoria" in proper context.

>>22163329
Feel free to repost your HUE if you want. I can do it for you as well.

Rolled 5

>>22163415
It would probably be best if you reposted it yourself, as I don't have a copy of it on hand.

Rolling to contribute.

>>22163492
INCOMING.

As you drink the liquor falling down between Zuli's sizable mounds, you notice something.

Your chin is itchy.

Apparantly, Zuli notices it too, as she pushes you off, suddenly a tad more sober.

"Liiiiincoooooln? Wha - hic - ish that on your fassse?"

Huh? You touch your chin. It's very rough and hairy. You look down

What the fuck?

Your beard is growing back! But quickly. Very quickly, as in, so quick you can literally see it grow quickly.

Your beard, while still not taking a definitive shape, seems to be moving. Toward Zuli. Your facial hair forms tendrils, and starts to carress Zuli's face.

"Mmmm, oooh, Lincoln, thatsh feelsh sho -hic-, shhho, shho go-"

Her moaning is cut off as your beard forces its way in her mouth, and down her throat.

You try to grab something to stop it, but your new facial hair grabs your hands and restrains your arms.

You can only watch in horror as your beard forces its way down your screaming red oni.

Before you know it, the screams turn into moans.

You spot a noticeable buldge in Zuli's pants. Apparantly, your hair has gone all the way through her.

Some soldiers stop and start running at you with flamethrowers.

"NO! NOOOO", you try to scream, but before you know it, they're already flammenwerfing you.

You and Zuli die a slow painful death as you're disentegrated by the flames, until you are nothing but a pile of ashes.

The soldiers turn off their flamers.

"What the hell was that?", the General says, as he walks towards your remains. They're still smoky, and hard to see.

Suddenly, something lashes out at the General, enveloping him!

"ARASRADSHASRSDRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-", the military man cries, until he is cut off by the now human-sized mass of hair jamming itself down his throat.

The soldiers just stand there, shocked, as what was once your facial hair consumes the general.

The mass of hair suddenly ceases all movement.

One of the soldiers snaps out of his state of confusion and activates his flamethrower.

His flammenwerfing is cut off as a flaming mass of hair throws itself on him and his comrade.

The night is young, and there is much hair to acquire...


HUEHUEHUE REPOST COMPLETE

Alas, this glorious moment of improvised body shots does not last, as you are abruptly hauled away and find yourself face to face with a seething General Williams.

"Explain to me why I shouldn't just run you over with a tank like you just did to HALF OF THE DAMN MASONRY AND FORTIFICATIONS!?" The General roars in your face, causing you to grimace as bits of spittle splatter on you.

"Generallisimo, chill, chiiiiiillll. I promise I'll fix everything. Eventually. Somehow. Probably through booze-fuelled wizardry. But I was kinda in the middle of something, so if you would just----" You are cut off as Zuli lunges forwards and yanks you out of the General's grasp.

"'Scuse me, asshole, but Lincoln and I were TALKING! Or hugging. Or whatever that tickle-y thing he was doing with his tongue is called. So BUTT OUT!" She drunkenly snarls at the General, looking for all the world like some fearsome mama bear. A mama bear who you desperately want to bone. Your metaphors don't always make sense.

The General grabs at your legs, trying to haul you out of Zuli's embrace. "Oh, you can have him back. AFTER HE'S A CORPSE!" You have to give the General credit; he certainly has guts. just like you have, and you're quickly realizing that they will be splattered all over the ground after these two TEAR YOU IN HALF OH GOD WHY WON'T THEY STOP PULLING.

File: 1356156665862.jpg-(45 KB, 638x960, Zuli.jpg)

here is one of zuli...

>>22163783
So far, this is the only drawing of Zuli. Besides the fact that she has short hair and her undershirt is ruffly like that one guy from Pheonix Wright who's name I am blanking on, that's pretty much spot on.

......Besides the fact that any picture of her would have the frame half composed of her fist heading at your face.

Rolled 18

>>22163616
We should inform the general that we do not bat for the other team. Maybe he should try one of the Not-Bruces.

Rolled 1

>>22164030
That is a horrible idea. Let's do it!

Rolled 11

>>22164084
...we get eaten by the General? Did we finally break him and drive him to cannibalism?

>>22164092
Or Zuli eats us to keep us safe.

Rolled 16

>>22164092
On of the Quasi-Bruces gets a little to friendly?

Rolled 8

>>22164030
I say we tell Zuli the general is trying to steal her magic booze.

>>22164098
the hobo did drink the other bottle of her now-favorite booze.

if she eats him, it's like she drank both bottles!

Rolled 10

>>22163828
Miles Edgeworth is the name you are looking for.

>>22164084
>>22164084
.......Now I gotta write even more posts.

But they're ones, so I am reassured. This is how HoboQuest usually goes.

"LET GO!"

"YOU LET GO!"

"SOMEBODY LET GO, PLEASE!"

"U-U-Um, w-what's going on.....?" The timid voice of Moira brings the game of Tug-A-Lincoln to a screeching halt.

Moira stands next to the quartet of foxgirls, all having been apparently watching the small fiasco unfold with a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

"If you don't mind me asking......What exactly is this all about?" Illiana hesitantly ventures the question, as if slightly afraid she'll accidentally turn the conflict on herself.

"This doesn't involve you, miss bandit. This is a matter of national sec----" The general doesn't get to finish as suddenly finds himself burdened with your entire weight as you plummet to the ground, Zuli having unceremoniously dropped you. The drunken red oni girl joyfully prances over to the foxgirl leader, who takes a slight step back in alarm.

"Illiiiiii! Don't (hic) sweat the small stoof. Here, I got a present for ya!" She turns to your shopping cart, which came disengaged from the Abrams during your (ahem) graceful entrance, and is sitting perilously close to the edge of the plaza. Whipping it off the ground and slamming it back down near the accumulated foxgirls with a thunderous bang, she begins to root around in the basket until, with a bright smile of victory, she pulls out.....

.......holy shit. How many of those things did you manage to accidentally buy?

".....wait.....is that the alcohol you were given by Lincoln right before you---mmmgggmmgngphhh!?!?!?" Illiana shriek of surprise is muffled as Zuli crams the end of the bottle into her mouth, pouring some of the liquid down the surprised foxgirl's throat. Illiana is so surprised that she accidentally gulps down some of the psychotically strong liquor before Zuli withdraws the bottle, leaving her to cough at the kick of the booze.

"Don't worry, Illi! That'll fix ya right up! And I got plenty more for the rest of ya!" She turns with a hilarious gleam in her eye to the rest of the foxgirls, who are looking at her with a mixture of fear and panic. Moira shows a bit of the same, but there's definite curiosity mixed in there. With a healthy dose of lust at the sight of the suddenly chummy and affectionate red oni. Rock on, batgirl, rock on. You'll both get a taste of those jubblies eventually.

"C'mon guys, drink uuuuuuup!" Zuli sing-songs as she dives at the foxgirls, ignoring their shouts of protest as she shares with them the magical blessings of 192-proof alcohol. Forcibly.

.......Normally, you'd be all too eager to get away from a Zuli exercising her full power (for obvious, face-preserving reasons), but you think you'll stick around for this one. You know. For research purposes.

.......and totally because drunken monstergirls are THE BEST THING EVER.

Rolled 7

>>22164968
This can only end well, or in fire. Depending on how smooth a drunken hobo can be.

Rolled 20

>>22165005
Fire. Definitely fire.

>nlyISO FLAMING
See? Even Captcha agrees.

Rolled 20

>>22164968
They're not going to be drunk, they're going to be vomiting everywhere. That stuff is not for lightweight girls unused to alcohol.

>>22165022
Well then. The dice have spoken

Rolled 18

>>22165005
ending in fire is ending well for lincoln

Rolled 9

>>22165022
And the dice gods, by the looks of things. Hopefully it is the sexy kind of fire and not the kind of fire that ruins drunken monstergirl orgies.

>>22165022
>>22165032

so some kind of flaming vomit???

Hobo King, i am working on a Zuli punching Lincoln scene at your previous request. hopefully will be better than previous incarnations... though not certain

Rolled 11

>>22165022
>>22165032
...monstergirls with flaming vomit?

>>22165083
>>22165078
The vomit is flammable, and sentient.

Rolled 8

>>22165032
>they're going to be vomiting everywhere.
They're monstergirls. For all we know, they vomit fire. Or something like this -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0Gx8hYi0hQ

>>22165095
Son, we rolled a 20, not a 1. We'll probably find out that concentrated ethanol causes an alchemical reaction that causes them to regurgitate liquid gold or something.
It's liquid because it's on fire.

>>22165126
Creating life from alcohol is something that I'd call a pretty big success.

Rolled 9

>>22165166
We already did that once.

>>22165126
I think Lincoln would want nothing more than a fiery boozegirl, though minislime might get jealous.

File: 1356164405382.jpg-(48 KB, 864x676, Zuli-punch-Lincoln.jpg)

>>22165126
magic 'golem-making' fire vomit?

>>22165188
GIVE MINISLIME A BOTTLE OF THE BOOZE!!!

drawing is finished. is still abysmal though...

Alright, I gotta get some sleep real quick, but with nothing on the schedule for tomorrow, I can immediately get back to work.

Also, I have no idea how, but your ridiculous discussions (AND TWO MORE DAMN 20s) have given me a new idea. A new, glorious idea. Ohohohohoho. Dis gon' be gud.

In my absence, feel free to figure out how fucking a firegirl would work. Or a lavagirl, or whatever; there's a large amount of variation. You might need such information later.

>>22165504

three concept ideas.

1 - not all fire is exothermic. it remains possible to have endothermic combustion reactions, so it would be probable that the 'firegirl' can alter her bodies temperature (possibly also altering its color due to different chemicals being burnt i.e. copper2+ burns with a green flame) lavagirl would work by having a molten core which keeps the outerlayer of her in a 'plasticene' state, similar to the earths mantle, though due to smaller size, the overall required heat would be lowered, by cooling parts of her body to form more solid attributes, there would be a layer of thermal insulation to protect the potential HONKer from a molten death. though the effect emotions would have on the firegirl or lavagirls ability to control these aspects of themselves is unknown.

2 - it's magic. ain't got to explain shit.

3 - WIZARD!!!

>>22165504
I remember seeing a screencap relating to this. Something about beings on the Elemental Plane of Fire symbiotically setting fire to each other to sustain each other, and them attempting to burn the Material merely being a labor of love.

Alternatively, that one from the HFY threads that ends with "...because when it comes down to it, we will BUILD A MACHINE TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM."

Anyone have the caps I'm talking about?

>>22165646

sorry. don't have either of the caps, but i remember the HFY one.
if memory serves, it was basically saying that race x was good at this, race y was good at that and then it got to Humanity is good a making war and love. after having a war with a race, it will then make love to said race. it then suggested at devices created that allowed them to make love to a race which breaths sulfuric acid, a race that excretes a deadly neuro-toxin, so on and so forth. that was quite a nice thread...

File: 1356167381526.jpg-(87 KB, 1002x407, Humanity fucks, yeah!.jpg)

>>22165646
Have the HFY-ish cap.

File: 1356176614252.jpg-(86 KB, 827x967, flame princess.jpg)

we could wear a fire suit.

or ask a wizard to cast immune flames or something.

>>22166853

I would bind you to airship Everwrong style

Rolled 9

bump to stay alive

Rolled 9

>>22165504 It only stands to reason, if you're willing to take the plunge and drive your iron into her furnace, the least she could do is damp the flames a bit before hand, so as not to smelt your iron rod, leaving a dripping runnel in its place.

1. Invest in a popsicle manufacturer.
2. Insert frozen treat into furnace.
3. Repeat until desired temperature has been achieved.
4. Quintuple wrap your rod.
5. Use mentholated chap stick in place of lube.
6. Strike until your iron is too hot.

And if you accidentally a space after your trip password, it counts as a password character, thus changing the tripcode. Huh. Learn something new every day.

>>22165504
Something to do with them being able to control their own body temperature.

Rolled 3

>>22166853

well, it has been established that anyone could learn magic, soooo....

DRUNKEN-HOBO-MAGIC-SCIENCE!!!!

>>22165777
This is oddly touching in it's own special way.

>>22166853
Mmmmmmmm, delicious firegirl.

>>22167736
METAPHORS, METAPHORS EVERYWHERE. Also, yes, I discovered that little "space" rule in an earlier thread. Mostly because of my damnable phone.

File: 1356197992518.jpg-(85 KB, 900x394, drunk_science_by_kiwipie1(...).jpg)

>>22169198

Rolled 11

>>22169249

Oh great king of Hobos, i must ask has my humble attempt at drawfaggotery appeased you?

also, is it be time for update soon?

>>22169288
You have appeased me indeed. There shall be no need to feed the sharktopus tank today.

And yes, there will be an update soon. While I do have a couple things to get done today, it is nowhere near the level of insanity I was forced to deal with yesterday.

>>22169356
>sharktopus

I think we know what the aquatic monstergirls should be.

>>22169388
ONE of the aquatic monstergirls.

>>22169485
..........I am now thinking about a monstergirl branch of the U.S. Navy and THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER.

Rolled 13

>>22169488

Every armed force shall have at least 1 division of monstergirl forces...

>>22169485

Are we still planning to include monstermen?

Because meeting an octosharkman would be awesome.

>>22169542

is that what the general wants?
he doesn't seem interested in monstergirls...

File: 1356200842455.jpg-(225 KB, 800x800, Skullcap.jpg)

>>22169488
Maybe Sahuagin as Navy seals, and mermaids as actual aquatic forces.

---10 MINUTES OF SHOUTING, FIGHTING, AND FORCE-DRINKING LATER---


".........Mr. Lincoln."

"Yes, Generallisimo?"

"What am I looking at here?"

"A shitshow, Generallisimo. A glorious, glorious shitshow."

".........I hate you."

Zuli, currently sitting cross-legged on top of the Humvee, is hurriedly downing two bottles she scrounged out of your basket. At once. It's......it's an act that brings a tear to your eye.

"Wooooooooo! Thas' the way, Moira! Drink it down!" The intoxicated red oni cheers on the batgirl from her perch. Moira says nothing, too busy taking quick, near-continuous sips from a bottle of her own as she lays nestled between the hood and the windshield. She really likes that Irish whiskey. The irony is not lost on you, you just don't give a shit because AWESOME.

"Uuuuuugggh.....oh Glorian......it won't stop.....GUHUUUUUUCK--BLAAAAAAAAAGH!" Cassandra, the crossbow-wielding foxgirl, is on her hands and knees, retching as her stomach forcefully rejects the 192-proof Zuli made her down. Aiya would be sympathetic, but she's too busy with her own purge right next to her. The familiar splatter of alcohol-vomit fills your ears. Oh well. Not like everyone can handle that stuff.

"So......(hic)......undignified....." Illiana mumbles from her position on the ground, leaning up against one of the Humvee tires. "We are (hic) proud foxes! To be.....(hic).......laid low like this.......and for the second time....." She miserably laments, trying her best to resist ending up like the rest of her companions. Well, except for her sister; Faye, being so skittish, dived into the bushes the moment Zuli went into booze raid mode. The only thing you've seen of her has been the occasional glint of light off her eyes whenever she peaks out.

You sigh, reluctantly leaving the shell-shocked General to stare haplessly. As hilarious as this is, you really should probably give them a hand. It's funny, but you're not cruel. Drinkers in over their heads should be assisted, not harassed. They might leave the fold, otherwise! And what a tragedy that would be.

"Alrighty, Illiana, upsie-dasies." Grabbing the foxgirl leader by the arms, you heft her off the ground into a standing position, where she leans heavily on you for a moment before forcing herself to stand alone. Damn, pride is a scary thing. You're glad you don't have any.

"I......I am (hic) fine." She stubbornly asserts, even as she sways back and forth.

"Suuuuure you are, foxy lady. Just give me a hand with these two." With a roll of your eyes, you motion Illiana over towards the two puking youko in the middle of the plaza. You position yourself behind Cassandra, ignoring her weak protests and threats of bodily harm, while Illiana drunkenly grabs Aiya.

"On three, alright? One....two.....THREE!" You both heft the sickened foxgirls off the ground in one strong heave.

What happens next happens too fast for you to avoid it.

Aiya and Cassandra, in some cruel twist of alcohol-induced fate, both let fly with another puke-burst. Directly at you. Because fuck you for trying to help, right?

You are now partially covered in alcoholic youko vomit. Joy.

"Goddamnit, couldn't you two have aimed for someone with less expensive clothes!?" You shout, nearly dropping Cassandra as you attempt to brush off the substances now staining your precious outfit.

".......(hic).....well.....we must all make sacrifices when aiding our fellow......(hic)...." Illiana stops mid-words of wisdom, screwing up her face in a funny expression.

"Aaahhhh.....ah.. ah ah ah......AHHHH CHOOOO!" She sneezes. This would normally be no big deal.

........Except that when she sneezed, her tails jerked like pull-string toys and shot fire. At you. Igniting the alcohol vomit.

You are now on fire. Jo-----OH SWEET JESUS YOU'RE ON FIRE PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT PUTITOUTPUTITOUTPUTITOUT

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" You scream, unceremoniously dropping Cassandra to the ground as you begin to run in panicked circles.

>What do?

[ ] [ask the General to help]

[ ] [scream and panic]

[ ] [stop, drop, and roll]

[ ] [run to the extremely far away river and jump in]

[ ] [find extinguishment source in military HQ]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

File: 1356202579132.gif-(53 KB, 304x281, stop-drop-roll.gif)

>>22169970
>[x] [stop, drop, and roll]

>>22169970
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [Calmly lament the loss of a sweet coat]
[X] [Run to the kitchen for an oil fire extinguisher]

And we had just gotten that coat.

>>22169970

[imbibe liquor]
[apply liquor to fire]
[hug EVERYONE!!!]
[imbibe further liquor]

>>22169970
>[run to the extremely far away river and jump in]

>>22170052
I feel that will end badly. I remember something about skin sloughing off once in the river.

>>22170072
Probably, but I want to see how much stuff we can set on fire on the way.

>>22170072

ahhhh, the quests first vore scene... i remember it like it was on suptg...

File: 1356204236124.jpg-(36 KB, 554x744, Flaming Lincoln.jpg)

>>22169970

here is a quick sketch of said flaming Lincoln

>>22169970

[x] [stop, drop, and roll]

While screaming, naturally. Then drink to celebrate non-immolation.

Well... the fire should burn off the alcohol first...

Time to take a running leap into the ocean? Or do we have time to be as obnoxious as possible, and waffen our flames to nearby aquarium? Maybe take a douse in the otter exhibit? Bitches love those furry bastards. It'd be right payback.

Rolled 4

>>22169970
[ ] [run to the extremely far away river and jump in]

Our suit is not being burned away, it is gaining character!

And besides, any suit worth it's money will survive more then a few light burns.

Thinking quickly, you immediate sprint down the ramps of the plaza, brushing furiously at the fiery vomit as the flames creep begin to lap at your actual clothes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!" You scream, sprinting down the streets of the city, swerving all over the street and causing several traffic accidents.

Such is the speed of your running that you reach the riverbank in mere minutes. You immediately do a swan dive into the water, a sizzling noise and smoke emanating from you as the fire is quenched.

"Aaaahhhhh......" You sigh, relieved at avoiding imminent immolation.

.........hang on. Why isn't the sizzling stopping?

"It would appear you have learned nothing." You hear an exasperated voice sigh, right as the pain begins.

You scream as the chemical-laden river peels the flesh from your bones, rendering you into a slowly sinking puddle of goo within a few short minutes. Your remains are then sucked into the propellers of a passing ship, pureeing them even further.

......you really should think about where you go for a swim.

>>22172212

i warned you about the water bro. i warned you

nothing quite beats chemical vore...

Rolled 5

>>22172212
Are you trying to tell me the river didn't ignite? I'm sorry HK, you've ruined my suspension of disbelief.

>>22172272
The Mississippi River near the gulf outlet does not burn. Does not evaporate, does not yield. It only devours.

I'm serious. I can't even tell you half of the stuff in that damn river.

>>22172272
Also:
>Suspension of disbelief
>chemical river vore
>Dohohohohohohohohohoho

>>22172294
It's also apparently a sentient dimensional travler as well. It remembers our death.

>>22172310
Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows....?

>>22172310

no, we jumped into it during the first thread. still in same dimension.... GET A SAMPLE OF THE RIVER AND POUR IT ON THE TANK!!!!

>>22172328

>Logical explanation for a promised tankgirl

How.

>>22172347
This thread has a habit of warping logic and reality. Don't think about it too much, just indulge in the sweet insanity.

>>22172347

well, since over 50% of the river is un-tell-able, some part of that >50% could be the tank-humanising stuff....

TANKGIRL WAS ON THE TABLE!!!
ZAKU-GIRL!!!

Taking a quick power nap, next part forthcoming when I'm done. I think you're gonna like it.

>>22173215
Power naps are the greatest. Let's type this next part.

File: 1356221504318.jpg-(78 KB, 358x312, and-so-it-begins1.jpg)

>>22173900

"HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!!!!" You howl, flailing your limbs in all directions as the fiery alcoholic vomit burns merrily away, the flames eating through their initial fuel source at a rapid pace. You drop like a brick to the ground, screaming profanities as you attempt to save your clothes from incineration by barrel-rolling along the ground like a drunken log. Unfortunately, not having any idea of how stop, drop, and roll actually works, you sort of just look like a flailing firecracker.

"Don't worry, Lincoln! (hic) I gotcha!" Zuli calls from atop the Humvee. You see something glint before it smashes into the ground next to you.....

.......she threw more alcohol. To put out the already-on-fire alcohol that currently adorns you.

"GAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" You scream, as the new booze only adds to the conflagration. "DON'T WASTE GOOD BOOZE!!!"

"Whoops." Zuli mumbles as she scratches her head.

"O-O-Oh dear! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Illiana stammers in panic. "I---I---ohhh, what do I do!?"

"HOW ABOUT PUTTING OUT THE FIRE!?"

"A-aah! O-Of course! B-But.....I c-can't control it after I----"

Pssssssshhhhhhhh.......

Illiana stops her stammering as the fire suddenly extinguishes itself, leaving you blinking on the ground. Your clothes have a few scorched patches, but hey, you're a hobo; it wouldn't be right for you to wear clothes without signs of damage. It's against the informal Hobo Dress Code.

"See? That wasn't so hard." You sigh in relief, thankful to have not become crispy-fried Lincoln. You notice, however, that Illiana is still staring at you in confusion. "What? I didn't get burned after all, did I?"

"Erm.....Lincoln.....I didn't do that." The inari haltingly says. You blink at her, not quite understanding.

"But.....the fire went out. YOUR fire. How could it have gone out without----?"

SBPLAP

You freeze as the sparse remains of the alco-vomit slide off of you, splashing to the floor in a goopy mess. All of it. At once. That......makes no sense.

"Until you find the small puddle staring up at you with a set of small eyes.

"What."

>What do?

[ ] [poke it]

[ ] [have minislime investigate it]

[ ] [attempt to imbibe it]

[ ] [throw it at the General]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22174680
[ ] [have minislime investigate it]
calling it now
it IS minislime, all grown up

Rolled 14

>>22174680
>[x] [imbibe liquor]
>[x] [poke it]
>[x] [imbibe liquor]
>[x] [have minislime investigate it]
>[x] [imbibe liquor]
>[x] [attempt to imbibe it]

In that order, of course.

Rolled 20

>>22174680
>[imbibe liquor]
>[attempt to imbibe it]

Rolled 10

>>22174680
[duh]
[Have minislime investigate it]
Possibly [att...

>>22174727
or this.

>>22174680
[X] [attempt to imbibe it]
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [attempt to imbibe it with liquor]

I am not nearly drunk enough to deal with this.

>>22174680

[x] [have minislime investigate it]

Minislime's big sister?

You stare at the puddle. It stares back.

You poke the puddle slightly. It jiggles.

You lean your head down to attempt to drink it, determined not to let good booze go to waste. You get bit by the little mouth that forms out of it.

"GAH! Ow!" You lick at your stinging lip, glaring at the puddle with a distinct sense of déjà vu.

The puddle bubbles and twists in a familiar manner, and your suspicions are confirmed when the movement results in a tiny, translucent female figure. She stares at you blankly for a moment before stretching her arms, as if cramped from, y'know, not being alive until a few seconds ago. She then lets out a small burp, a flicker of flame projecting from her mouth. .......This is new.

"Erm.....Minislime?" You timidly ask, and are rewarded when your little blue companion flows out of her usual hiding places to form on your shoulder. She follows your pointing figure to the newcomer, and tilts her head slightly in what you imagine is curiosity. The little slimegirl deforms, swirling down your body to the ground, stopping directly in front of the miniature booze girl.

An epic stare-off proceeds to commence. Blue versus clear. The two tiny slimegirls stare blankly at each other for over two minutes.

"Would someone mind explaining to me----" The General begins to grouch.

"Ssssshhhhhhhh!" You wave a hand at him, eyes still fixated on this extraordinary battle of will.

And then, minislime raises her arm, placing it on the booze slime's shoulder. She moves forward....

......and lays a tiny kiss on the newcomer's lips with a soft "chu" noise, before withdrawing and continuing to stare.

After a few seconds, the booze slimegirl returns the gesture. They then both proceed to stare up at you. .......Is minislime giving you a thumbs-up? She is. How fast does that girl learn?

"HALLELUJAH! PRAISE THE GREAT GODS OF LIQUOR! WE HAVE MADE PEACE IN OUR TIME!" You roar joyously to sky, causing everyone to jump back at least two feet. "This calls for a celebration! MORE BOOZE!"

You haul three bottles out of your multitude of pockets, and begin to chug them. All at once.

"WOOOOOOO, LINCOLN! THAT'S MY CRAZY VAGRANT!" Zuli cheers from atop the Humvee's roof.

"Heehee....." Moira softly giggles, drunkenness evident on her face from her position on the hood.

"I.....I couldn't possibly......" Illiana weakly protests, though you can tell she knows it's invade. Nobody can resist the siren song of the Hobo.

Cassandra and Aiya say nothing, having passed out on the plaza after apparently finishing their vomit purge. Faye is still nowhere to be seen.

And the General? He merely stares as the drinking begins anew. Slowly, he places his head in his hands.

"I should have joined the Navy." He mutters, unable to anything except start tallying up the cost of the damages.

[roll 1d20 for Party Time Warp]

Rolled 20

>>22176311
>>22176328
Niiiiiiiice.

Rolled 6

>>22176328
We have created life! Again!

Rolled 18

>>22176354
WOah.

>>22176354
I hope it was worth the wait. You guys gave me the idea, so I took the time to incorporate it in.

......fuck explanations, though. Not like Lincoln would listen to them anyway.

Also, this is literally the best time you could have rolled a 20, you lucky fuck.

>>22176398
It was indeed worth the wait. Also, I aim to please.

Rolled 6

>>22176398
We've reached the elemental plane of booze?

Rolled 9

>>22176413
If you think about it lincoln could probably make an elemental plane of booze. I mean, hes already birthed two "booze elementals" and they could be the first of many.

I'm of the mind that Lincoln is a primordial of booze (or on his way to becoming one) and that his surroundings overlap with his elemental plane causing physics to become drunk.

Rolled 17

>>22176621
Lincon IS the elemental plane of booze.

Or earth is. That would actually make sense.

we should totally troll Aiya/Cassandra whoever vomited on us, when they wake up, that she have a baby slime now and she is the mom and we are the dad.

>>22178276
It was Cassandra, and she would probably just faint again after seeing that 'our baby' is on fire.

---AN UNDETERMINED AMOUNT OF HOURS LATER---

You awaken, groggy and confused, to the darkened inside of a tent, though cracking your eyes still reveals artificial light leaking in from the outside, so you quickly slam them shut again. Jesus, how much did you have? That 192 proof stuff sure is a worthy opponent. And considering how it affected Zuli, you're definitely going to have to get some of that stuff again. Heheheh.

How did you get here anyway? Eh, they probably stuck you in here after you passed out from drinking nearly half the liquor in the cart. Good times. And this time, you woke up in cot instead of on a floor! Bonus points!

........though you would like to know why it feels like there's a weight on top of you.

.......And why can't you MOVE!?

Your eyes shoot open, light be damned, as you realize that your limbs are bound to the edges of the cot, rendering you immobile. Though that immediately takes a backseat to the issue that is currently sitting on your lap.

Moira, face flushed from the alcohol, looms over you, smiling softly at you as she straddles your waist. Her hat is slightly askew, and her uniform jacket hands free and open, threatening to slide off one shoulder. Her thin undershirt barely leaves anything to imagination. Neither does her skirt, riding up around her hips the way it is. Wait, hold on, back up, what the hell is she doing on top of you!?

"Hey, Lincoln. How'sh your evening?" She grins, slurring her words slightly. She grinds her hips against yours slightly, as if to prompt your response.

.....Ooooooooh boy.

>What do?
>BAHAHAHA NO PROMPTS FOR THIS ONE
>FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELVES, /tg/

>>22178401
"I am completely drunk, I have no idea where I am, and I have a beautiful lady on top of me. I feel like this is the best night of my life. All it needs is an explosion."

Rolled 10

>>22178401
Check for our clothes. I'm hoping we're still wearing them and we didn't miss the best bit already.

Tell Moira that this evening is shaping up to be a great end to a great few days.

Rolled 13

>>22178401
Check our beard length to estimate how much time has passed.

Rolled 15

>>22178401
we need to check our surroundings where are we why are we tied to the cot and why are we so lucky to have a sexy batgirl straddling us.

Rolled 7

>>22178401

"most excellent, and getting better"
[inventory check]
"might i say how very beautiful you are looking this fine evening..."
[thrust against her]

Well, in the absence of any other responses, I guess I'll go ahead and write the next part.

Heheheh. All the other tripfags that usually are in here are gonna be so pissed they missed this.

Which makes me laugh.

Rolled 4

>>22179583

just as planned...

Mwahahahahaha

>>22178401
Look for Zuli and pull her into the cuddle as well if at all possible.

This......this is too much to take in at once. You're tied to a cot. It's dark outside. THERE IS A DRUNKEN SEXY BATGIRL IN A LOOSE POSTAL UNIFORM STRADDLING YOU. So you just let your mouth do its thing.

"Oh dear god what." DAMMIT MOUTH, OF ALL THE TIMES----!

"Heeheehee....." Moira giggles, grinding against you a bit more. You involuntarily groan; there's no way you can resist reacting to sexy batgirl ass. "Whatsh the matter, Lincoln? Ish shomething wrong?"

Well, you should probably take account of your surroundings. You're in a tent. You can't really see if anyone else is in here, because you're tied to the cot. By your baroque coat, it would seem. You're not sure about the legs, but whatever it is, you're not moving those either. Moira's on top of you, visibly drunk, YOU'RE still somewhat drunk.........

"NOPE. Not in the slightest." You smirk at her, feeling it better to play along than try to free yourself. "How could something be wrong, with a gorgeous woman on top of me?"

Moira's face goes even redder, and she looks down as she slowly draws circles on your chest with her one of her wingclaws. "Aw....Lincoln, you're shuch a flatterer......it'sh no fair shaying shtuff like that....." She looks back up at you, giggling as a mischievous spark dances in her eyes. "But you're sho shweet, you know...? I can't decide if I sshhould punisshh or reward you......"

Her smile grows slightly evil as she half-lids her eyes, slowly gyrating her hips against your now painfully-hard crotch. "But maybe.....there'sh a way....I can do both...."

She lowers her mouth to your ear, hot breath causing you shiver. "Would you like that, Lincoln? Should I do both?" It takes all of your willpower not to stain your pants right then and there as she runs her tongue along the edge of your ear.

>What should you say?

[ ] [let's dance, baby]

[ ] [no, Moira, you're drunk]

[ ] [can I have another drink?]

[ ] [other]

>>22180248
[ ] [imbibe liquor]
[ ] [What's that you say?]
[ ] [We can't imbibe liquor right now?]
[ ] [FUCK THAT SHIT]
[ ] [WE ARE THE HOBO]
[ ] [IMBIBE THE FUCKING LIQUOR]

Siiiiiiip.

Rolled 12

>>22180248

"MOIRA!!! LET US MAKE SWEET HOBO LOVING!!! but, we need booze... LOTS of booze..."

>>22180248
>Let's dance, baby
>Imbibe liquor
>"You know, you didn't really get a full meal back there. How about topping yourself off?"
>Batgirlgusta.jpg

>>22180276
>>22180361
I think these two sum it up nicely.
Though I don't think either party would be averse to inviting Zuli and her drunken jubblies as well

Alright, I'm getting near passing out again (DAMN YOU BOOZE, YOU DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD), so I'll leave it up to you guys; do you want me to power through the sex scene now, or do it after I wake up in like six hours? I can guarantee better quality if I wait, but I can't imagine you'd all want me to nod the fuck off now.

Rolled 18

>>22180248
>[ ] [no, Moira, you're drunk]

>>22180432
Coffee and power through!

>>22180432
Im hitting the hay myself, so I vote for waiting.

Rolled 20

>>22180432
Pour some coal on that fire, HK!

>>22180432
Eh, go ahead and take a nap if you need to that much. We can wait. Just that it'll be impatient and full of swearing.

>>22180483

looks like the dice gods have decided that you do not need sleep now! why do the drunken sex scene when you are more sober?
DRUNKEN-MAGIC-HOBO-SCIENCE-SEX-SCENE-TIME!!!

>>22180483
WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ALL THE TWENTIES IN HERE!?

>>22180557
Dice gods apparently like hilarity, vore, awesome and/or sex. Preferably all at once. Be sure to satisfy them, Hobo King.

>>22180557
Moira sexiness is yes, that's what.

also, totally want a tail brushing scene with the foxgirls.

Rolled 19

>>22180557
If you keep rolling dice, you're bound to get a few 20s.

It's the lack of 1's that wierds me out.

>>22180619

don't worry, the gods are probably saving it for an epic vore moment...

>>22180579
I still find it amusing that Moira is the one that ambushed us like this... and apparently she has a secret BDSM fetish.

>>22181304
To be fair Lincoln likely has a fetish for anything that gets monster girls wiggling around on his lap more so her kinks are pretty vanilla in comparison with things like burning places down or accidental chemical spills.

I'm debating whether or not to actually post this. I think I got a bit carried away. No stupid flowery language or something like that, but I have no idea what an acceptable sex scene for /tg/ would look like. .....I suppose "raunchy" is a good way to describe what I wrote? Fuck, I dunno. What do you guys think? Not that I really give a shit if I post it and you hate it, I'll just do it differently next time.

Rolled 17

>>22181884
it's the end of the thread anyway.

>>22181894
Wait, really? It's only at 150 posts though.....do I need to archive this shit quick?

>>22181884
Mods are asleep, pretty much anything goes.

Also, it has been stated several times that they don't give a shit about the nws content of text on worksafe board, it's only images that cause trouble.

>>22181884
Just post it, HK. It's not like Moira will only get drunk and naughty once in her life and then it's over with. If it doesn't turn out well, then there will be more.

BECAUSE WE ARE LINCOLN, AND WE ARE AN AWESOME DRUNK HOBO KING OF BATGIRL NOOKIE.

>>22181899
Eehhhh, whatever, archived it just in case.

>>22181903
>>22181905
Alright, alright. Just give me a few more minutes to put the finishing touches on it (heh, finishing) and I'll throw it up.

Rolled 19

>>22181928
fuck I am cracking an apocalypse beer for this shit.

Rolled 19

>>22181943
>>22181928
Same here. I eagerly await.

>>22181928
>throw it up
Now I can't help but imagine Hobo King's finishing touches including allowing the post to ferment alongside a cocktail of alcohols in his stomach.

>>22181943
>>22181962

i will enjoy a bottle of Curiosity Cola, myself...

>>22176748
At this point I think we're actually playing Unknown Armies and Lincoln is a powerful dipsomancer.

INCOMING MASSIVE POST

Oh, you are NOT passing up this opportunity. There's just one thing you have to take care of first....

You wrench your neck to the side, stretching towards the baroque coat tying you to the cot. You clamp your teeth down on the neck of a protruding bottle, and pull it out of the pocket. You bite down on the cap HARD, prying it off with your teeth and lodging the neck in your mouth as you tilt your head back and chug. In less than a minute, the bottle is empty.

You spit the bottle to the side, glass tinkling as it smashes on the ground. You grin up at Moira, matching the lust in her eyes liter for liter.

"Let's dance, baby."

>>22182080
THAT AIN'T ALL THAT'S MASSIVE RIGHT NOW.

Moira's mouth crashes down on yours, and it only takes you a few moments to understand why her makeouts with Zuli had such an intoxicating effect on the red oni. Her tongue darts against yours like lightning, teasing and caressing as you match her movements with your own. You nibble on her bottom lip, and she lets out a small whimper before pulling her mouth away to gasp, panting as she stares at you with a hungry expression.

"You tashte shweet, Lincoln...." She purrs, sliding her body against yours in one big caress. You instinctively go to embrace her, to pull her tighter, but find that your arms are still bound.

"Erm.....mind letting me loose, love?" You venture to Moira, only to get a impish giggle in return.

"Now where'sh the fun in that?" She coyly replies, before running her tongue down your neck. You shiver as the batgirl works her way down your chest with her licking, unbuttoning your suit as she goes. She dwells on your nipples for a little while, giving each of them a prick with one of her fangs before returning to her path downwards. She swirls her tongue around your navel before giving it a quick kiss. She then turns her attention to your pants, fumbling with the belt buckle. She seems to be having a bit of trouble with it, having wings and all.

"Need some help, Moira?" You smirk, cocking an eyebrow at the slightly flustered werebat. She scowls slightly in response.

"I'm jusht taking my time, ish all...." She pouts slightly, before her eyes light up when the belt buckle finally yields to her efforts. She does away with the button and zipper quite easily, and then tucking her claws into the waistband, she works your pants and boxers off in one go, letting your straining erection finally pop free.

"Uwah!" Moira yelps, jerking slightly away as she stares at it. ".....It'sh......it'sh a lot bigger than I thought it would be...." She goes crimson with this sentence.

".....I don't know whether to be complimented by your surprise or insulted by your lack of confidence...." You comment, feeling her eyes on your rather prominent champagne bottle.

Moira waves at you with in slight panic. "No! Nononono! I-I-I didn't....I didn't mean it like that!" She fidgets a bit with her wingclaws before continuing. "It'sh jusht......I've never sheen one before....."

"Eh? But you were doing so well before.....?" That tongue was not the work of an amateur.

"Well......" Moira refuses to meet your eyes, preferring instead to talk to your penis. "I kinda.....shometimesh.....let off shtresshh......with the other delivery girlshh.......but I've never been with a guy before......I never had the time to go pursue one with the other ladiesh....." She seems rather ashamed of this fact.

"....You stop thinking that isn't incredibly sexy right now, Moira. Because it seriously, seriously is."

"A-Ahhh....." She goes red in the face again. Even if she's way more aggressive when she's drunk, she's still weak to compliments, it seems.

"You're sho nice to me, Lincoln...." She whispers sweetly. But then that mischievous glint reignites in her eyes, as her smile turns predatory. "I think I'll give you a reward......"

"Oh? And what kind of---GUUH!" You suck in a sharp breath as she lowers her head down, tongue extended to give a long lick along your length. Swirling her tongue around the head, she carefully takes you into her mouth, minding her extremely sharp fangs (a fact which you are incredibly thankful for.) She looks a little lost at first, and it's apparent that she's probably only aware of blowjobs through hearsay. But as she begins to slowly bob her head up and down, you quickly decide that doesn't mean a damn.

Moira gets the hang of the action rather quickly, holding onto your waist with her wingclaws as she uses her tongue and a sucking motion in tandem. You find yourself biting your lip, a small trickle of blood leaking out of your mouth as she works at popping the cork on your bottle. But you can't let her win that easily. You do your best to fight the rising tides of pleasure, despite your brain screaming at you that you're being sucked off by a uniform-wearing batgirl.

Your efforts, however, prove to only delay the inevitable, as Moira starts humming as she works you, sending vibrations up your tool. You can't take it.

"Oh fuck, Moira, I'm----" You don't manage to finish before the proverbial cork pops, letting loose a spray of bubbling liquid into her mouth.

"Mmmmmngh!?" Moira's eyes go wide at the sudden rush of spooge, but to her credit, she doesn't pull away; rather, she continues sucking, making sure she's sucked out all of your beverage before pulling off your dick with an audible pop.

You then watch in pointed interest as she swallows the contents of her mouth with a gulp, before making a slight face.

"It'sh bitter....." She sticks her tongue out slightly at this. ".....but not too bad, I shupposhe." Note to self; start eating fruit. ALL the fruit. Especially pineapple.

Moira's gaze falls to your groin, and she goes slight red again as her eyes are met with an unexpected sight. "I....Ishn't it.....shupposhed to get shmaller now? It'sh shtill.....no, I think it'sh even bigger now....."

You chuckle to yourself, slightly proud of one of the reasons you weren't murdered on the streets of New Orleans years ago. "Oh no, my dear. Maybe lesser men, but I'm a bit more.....robust, if you know what I mean." You throw her a wink, hoping she'll get the hint to investigate further, since you're currently incapacitated, as it were.

Moira stares at your cock for a few moments, before a smile crawls up her face. "Well then....." She starts, impishness creeping back into her voice. "Maybe you can help me.....with an itch I really need shcratched....?" She crawls back forward, straddling your crotch again as she hikes up her skirt.....

.......wait. Has she gone commando under that skirt this entire time? GodDAMN, this girl is a keeper.

"W-W-Well......" Moira stutters a bit nervously, hesitating as she positions herself above you. "H-Here I go....." She says that, but she doesn't move.

You jostle her slightly to pull her attention towards your face, and throw her a sincere smile. "Don't worry, Moira. It'll be fine. And you don't have to do it if you don't want to." Though it would probably drive you the bad kind of insane if she decided to quit now. Please don't let that happen.

Thankfully, your words seem to comfort her, as she smiles back at you. She then takes a deep breath, and then lowers herself down onto you in one quick drop.

"Nnnnnngggh!" Moira whimpers in pain, having torn you through her hymen in one fell swoop. She cringes, pain evident on her face as she attempts to put a brave front. Even drunk, that had to have hurt. Which might explain why she's clamped down on you like a velvet vice right now, but now's not the time to think about that. REALLY not the time. Focusing on it would be the worst possible thing right now. I mean, how it's so wet and FOCUS LINCOLN!

"Moira? You can stop if it hurts too much. Don't push yourself." You urge her, a note of alarm evident on your voice. Yes, you want to screw this girl sideways, but it's not going to be enjoyable if one of you is clearly suffering.

"...I....I'm fine...." Moira pants, and you feel some of the tension go out of her as she relaxes. "Jusht.....jusht gimme a shec....." You nod, sitting in silence for several minutes as you let her adjust.

Which is why you are completely taken off guard when she lifts herself up and slides herself back down in a quick, exploratory motion. Your eyes go wide and profanity hangs on the tip of your tongue as Moira grins at you like a cat that caught the canary.

"It doeshn't hurt anymore...." She coos at you, sliding up and down your girth again with another quick motion. "It feelsh reeeeeaally goooooood.....sho thish ish shex? I could get ushed to thish...." She begins a steady rhythm, bouncing on your lap slowly as some of the sweetest moans you've ever heard escape her lips.

"Fuck, Moira.....you feel....." You can't even describe it. Batgirl pussy is awesome. You think she actually might be ribbed for pleasure. You don't really know werebat physiology, but you REALLY hope this is standard.

"Heeheehee......enjoying yourshelf, Lincoln?" Zuli giggles as she speeds up her pace, eliciting a grunt from you as she slams herself down on you even harder. Dammit, she's getting carried away.....and that's no fun at all; it'll end way too quickly. You need something to turn the tables, but what....?


You find your gaze drawn to the batgirl's cunt, where a small trickle of blood leaks. No. No way. But maybe.....ahhhhh, fuck it. Why not.

"Hey, Moira....?" You point at her crotch, and she follows your finger with a confused look on her face. "Blood."

"A-Ah....." Her eyes go wide at the sight, lust and reservations warring in her eyes. But lust wins out, as her claw shakily moves to her slit and coats itself in the trickle of red liquid. She brings her claws up to her mouth, and with a shaking tongue, slowly slurps the blood off of her claws. She gasps and spasms at the taste; apparently batgirl hymen blood is rather potent, or maybe she's just getting off on the inherent naughtiness of it all. Whatever works for her, works for you, as long as you don't have to remove yourself from this deliciously tight batgirl cunt.

Moira turns her gaze on you, eyes alight with hunger. You smirk, knowing you probably flipped a switch, and obligingly tilt your head to the side. "You got interrupted before. Why not top yourself up?" You egg her on with a grin.

That seems to be all the permission she needs, lunging at your neck like a dying man lost in the desert. Her fangs pierce your neck, eliciting another wince from you, though it's not as bad as the first time. Though it helps that as she begins to suck and lap at your fresh puncture wounds, she begins thrusting her hips up and down with a renewed sense of urgency, riding you for all she's worth. You are forced to grit your teeth as the batgirl's wet slickness slides up and down your rod, rubbing in all the right ways.

Your duet of moans and cries of pleasure go on for what seems like forever, the batgirl writhing against you as the newfound sensations combine with her bloodlust to assault her brain. You find yourself nearing release, even as the batgirl spasms against you for the umpteenth time in what appears to be her final and biggest orgasm of the night.

"Moira...." you strangle out as the pleasure comes to a head. You can't exactly pull out like this, tied to the bed!

But Moira withdraws her fangs, bringing her mouth to your ear and whispers the word that seals your fate.

"Inshide....."

You explode into the batgirl's core, thrusting up into her even as she screams out her orgasm into the night. She probably woke half the damn town with a voice like that. And yet, you don't give a damn. Let them hear. You just screwed a hot werebat until she screamed. Everyone else can go eat a dick.

Moira collapses on top of you, panting heavily. You lay there in silence for a while, basking in the afterglow of hormones. Finally, she stirs, looking up at you with a combination of a shyness and satisfaction on her face.

"Well......how wash it...?" She giggles nervously, still a bit out of it from the rush. You smile back at her, too spent to tease her.

"My dear sweet Moira. You were incredible." She blushes at the unexpected sweet words, but smiles nonetheless.

"Heehee....I'm glad.....we should do it again shoon, then....." She murmurs, laying her head down on your chest as her eyes droop.

"Erm.....so, are you gonna untie me now? Or...y'know....take my dick out of you....? 'Cause...."

But you don't even get to finish as Moira softly chuckles, and evil edge still evident despite her quickly fading consciousness. "Like I shaid....where'sh the fun in that...?" She softly whispers, before fading into sleep completely.

......It takes you at least another hour before you can ignore the sleeping batgirl's shifting on top of your cock enough to get to sleep. But you honestly can't say you mind too much.

............[roll 1d20 for post-sex slumbertime]

Rolled 5

>>22182192
incoming Zuli thrashings in the morning, she totally heard it all.

Rolled 4

>>22182198

rolling for it. also...

>>22182172
>"Heeheehee......enjoying yourshelf, Lincoln?" Zuli giggles

i thought we were doing Moira? @_@

>>22182218
GODDAMNED TYPOS
Considering reposting the whole thing to get it right.

Rolled 12

>>22182228

what was stopping zuli from being there in the first place?

I'm totally going to give you a threeway right away, especially with Zuli having the personality she does.

To quote Moira, "where's the fun in that?"

Rolled 17

Obviously, while it'll take us another hour to fall asleep, it'll only take Zuli half to come upon the two of us.

So, can I get some actual feedback? Too much? Or do you guys not mind me doing all the sex scenes like this? I AM writing this for you guys, after all. No point in typing all of that if you don't like it.

Rolled 6

>>22182244

two words my good king.

After. Party.

there will be plenty of beatings, vore-ings and HUEHUEHUE-ings when she regains sobriety..

>>22182271
HK, I think I speak for all of us when I say that no, no that was not at all too much. I quite enjoyed that.

>>22182279
HUZZAH! I AM FREE TO WRITE MORE MONSTERGIRL SMUT FOR ALL!

Rolled 9

>>22182282
IF BY "FREE" YOU MEAN "ETERNALLY BOUND", THEN YES, YES YOU ARE.

>>22182291
SAME THING.

Rolled 5

>>22182271

On to serious business;
very descriptive of the events unfolding. you effectively conveyed the thoughts and emotions of the two characters, using linguistic artistry to paint the scene and allowed just enough room for personal interpretation.

aside from that one Easter-egg,
Moira out of 10...

>>22182301
Still annoyed by that typo, especially since I know why it happened. I was trying to think ahead to Zuli's reaction. See what planning gets you? Nothing good.

Rolled 3

>>22182271
10/10 would read again.
Best smut I've read in ages and I had given up on the written stuff.

>>22182315

remember, perfection makes anything boring. it's the errors and glitches that really intrigue people.

still, if you want to change it, change it. the choice is yours. but remember, it is only one word. i mean yesterday we had a huge argument over a single event that had happened several threads ago in SLQ, just because the OP accidentally forgot to put in one sentence. i swear the rage generated in that argument could have fed the character for days...

>>22182362
Eh, fuck it then. You put it poetically enough to convince me.

Also, the other tripfags are going to rage so hard when they find out they missed this. I positively titter at the thought.

Heh. Titter.

Rolled 6

>>22182271
Cracking my last end of the world beer in honor of this post. Well worth it.

Rolled 11

>>22182198
rollan

Rolled 4

>>22182198
Rollan for cute batgirl sleep talking.

>>22182271
Enjoyable. Possibly too much for a single scene, you might have wanted to save some things for a later one, but it was very very fun to read.

If you take my meaning.

Wow, Hoboking. I haven't really expected this would happen. Not that I'm against it.

9+/10 so good and story-related I wouldn't fap to it

>>22182487
It's funny how you think this is all I have up my sleeve. I ask for feedback to ascertain whether I need to reign myself in or not. If it's more of stuff like this you want, more of this stuff you get.

Rolled 16

>>22182537
More is good. Very good. I would like more.

But then, I'd also like to actually get more then three km's from the portal into Riftia, so I guess I'm a party-pooper.

>>22182555
KM's? Please explain.

Rolled 12

>>22182564
They're like miles, but 1.6 times better.

>>22182564

km's are like miles, but shorter and metric...
ALL HAIL THE SUPERIOR IMPERIAL MEASURING SYSTEM!!!

>>22182570
>>22182571
Ahhhhh, you meant the unit of measurement.

Don't worry, you'll get there. Eventually. If you can keep from blowing everything up for long enough to make it to the next town.

>>22182574

only once we have satisfied all of the monstergirls
gotta catch-em-all

Rolled 7

>>22182583
But you _can't_ satisfy a succubus. It's just not possible.

>>22182592

Hobo magic

>>22182592

four words.

Magic.
Drunken.
Hobo.
Science.

EVERYTHING is possiable...

And now, I shall take my long-delayed sleep break. I shall continue when I awaken, as always. You know the drill.

Topic of discussion while I'm gone: Discuss how to load a tankgirl. Other topics may also be discussed; I'm just suggesting one.

Rolled 6

>>22182599
>>22182606
I'll believe that when I see it.

>>22182612
I thought the main advantage of a tank girl was that it was self loading...

>>22182612
>load

An (un)fortunate choice of words...

Rolled 15

I imagine the barrel runs the length of her back. I imagine the breech rests between her legs.

I imagine such a configuration should be loaded with a steady but firm force.

I imagine a lot of things.

>>22182693

well, a tank girl would probably have built-in auto loaders, but what HK probably wants to know is how do we 'reload her magazine'...
well, firstly we would have to remove the armoured skirt to gain access to the 'access hatch'. from there we could begin the process of 'manually inserting' each 'round' into her 'magazine'...

>>22182818
oh man, all the perk names from WoTs crew skills are creating many a pun in my brain

>>22183017
Why does it not surprise me that there are WoT players in this thread...

I wonder where exactly everyone else was for this.

bamp

I RETURN, REFRESHED ANEW.

I appreciate your patience with me.

I hope we get back to the fantasy land soon. That castle has been standing for far too long.

Rolled 8

>>22187815
The castle? I think you mean the kingdom.

We're going to seduce the castle, remember?

Oh.... *Standing*... I get it.

As a side note, does anyone know a way to add tags to already-archived threads on sup/tg/? As the person who decided to be helpful and archive it accidentally put a space in a tag that makes it not show up along with the rest of threads.

>>22187932
I think you have to contact the admin for that, since you can't change it otherwise.

Rolled 2

>>22187932
you cannot. you'd have to email Lord Licorice, and get him to manually edit the database, which he hates doing. He changes hatearchived threads (occasionally) but i doubt he'd do a cosmetic change like this.

>>22187956
>>22187961
I see. I suppose I'll send him an e-mail just in case, but I guess it's two links to the previous threads from now on.

Rolled 7

>>22187974
Actually, I just checked, it's missing the 'collective game' tag, which is important. You might be able to get it done.

>>22187992
The e-mail has been sent, we shall see if he deems us worthy of the changes.

.....In the meantime, better get on the next post. Let's see how far we get before all the mysteriously vanished tripfags find out what they missed.

>>22188138
They're probably off doing Christmas related things.

Emprah dammit, I have failed hard these past few hours.

I'm currently out grabbing the rest of my Christmas gifts. Should be back shortly, and then we can get on to the aftermath of Lincoln's nighttime romp with Moira.

It will be delicious.

Faye was watching from a hole the whole timeshe was shlicking while it was happening, and that echo moans we ignored was her

File: 1356318847117.jpg-(61 KB, 432x597, Ilikewhatimreading.jpg)

>>22191303

>>22191303

great she will be more awkward around us.
and she will steal glances at our crotch at any given chance

>>22187974
keep your fingers crossed he usually doesn't check his mails.

---ANOTHER UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT OF TIME LATER---

You are rudely snapped out of your snoozing by that eternal asshole, the sun, blasting it's light through the cracks in the tent to land on your face. You just got money shotted by the sun. Son of a bitch.

"Nnnnngggh......" You groan, clenching your eyes shut as you roll over in an attempt to block out the unwelcome light source. Unfortunately, you forget that you're on a cot. A small cot.

"BLAAAAAGH!"

WHUMP

"Motherfucking gravity." You grumble into the ground, now firmly awake and distinctly annoyed at physics' unwillingness to accommodate your whims. Oh well. Conquer monstergirl-filled dimension first, subjugate laws of reality afterwards. There's an order to these things, though you're loathe to stick to anything resembling a plan.

You scratch your head as you climb to your feet. You quickly take notice of a few things. First and foremost is that you are alone in the tent. Second is that there is no longer a deliciously sexy batgirl impaled on your Hobo Staff of Dickings. Third, you're kind of naked from the waist down, and the only thing you're wearing is your unbuttoned suit jacket and undershirt. Not that you give a shit, but you've learned that clothes are a bit of societal standard, ever since that incident with the prostitution ring, the nudist colony tourists, and the tanker full of blue JELLO mix. At least Moira had the courtesy to untie you before she left.

You hear quite a bit of commotion coming from outside. And the distinct barking of the General, which you are now attuned to. Wonder what's going on out there? And more importantly, how can you make it devolve into shenanigans?

>What do?

[ ] [go back to bed, wait until someone forces you to go outside]

[ ] [don Hobo Swag uniform, stride outside like you own the place]

[ ] [fuck clothes, crab walk outside doing your best Zoidberg impression]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22195049

[fuck clothes, crab walk outside doing your best Zoidberg impression]
[imbibe liquor]
[crab walk inside doing your best Zoidberg impression]
[don Hobo Swag uniform, stride outside like you own the place]

Rolled 19

>>22195049
>[ ] [fuck clothes, crab walk outside doing your best Zoidberg impression]
>
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]

nothing can go wrong.

I apologize for my long absence. My schedule with my family getting ready for Christmas is even more schitzy. That's why most of my posting has been happening late at night.

Hopefully this crap will start dying down soon. Until then, let's boogie. Maybe we'll actually get past the first village this time.

>>22195049
[X] [don Hobo Swag uniform, stride outside like you own the place]

If anyone tries to stop us use our alcohol breath as a Flammenwerfer.

>>22195049
>[ ] [don Hobo Swag uniform, stride outside like you own the place]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
My catfight sense is tingling!

Two privates stand outside one of the tents that are serving as temporary barracks, cleaning their M4s. The General is busy making some preparations for something or other. Apparently it has to do with making sure the deep insertion recon team doesn't come back after only a few hours this time. And boy, is he pissed about it. Best to just stick to routine and not ask questions when he's like this. If you need to know something, he'll definitely make sure everyone knows.

And yet, you find yourself wanting to ask so many questions when a half-naked man in half a zoot suit and a fancy hat scuttles sideways out of the nearby tent, waving his hands and head frantically in the air. Don'tlookathisdickdon'tlookathisdickdon'tlookathisdickdon'tlookaOHGODIT'SLIKEAFLESHYWINDMILL!
"WHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOP!" You squawk as you shuffle in circles, before crab-walking back inside the tent.

The two privates stare at the fluttering tent flap slackjawed.

"Did you just see.....?"

"Yes. I wish I hadn't, but yes."

A few moments later, you burst back out of the tent flap, clad in full Hobo Regalia. Striking another of your dramatic poses (this one looks like a combination between a ballerina pose and an extremely elaborate gang sign), you gesture to the two soldiers gaping at you in disbelief.

"WHAT HO, gentlemen of arms whom I have never seen before! Could you point me in the direction of all the action? Most likely where the General and the monstergirls are. The girls need loving and the Generallisimo needs his daily dose of trolling."

"......wha----but you----with the-----"

"That way. Please go that way."

You give them a shittily-executed salute and prance off towards the plaza. The two soldiers stare after you, utterly lost.

"....Should we have just---?"

"Better him then us."

---5 MINUTES LATER---

You strut up the steps, whistling a merry tune of unspecified origin. Your song, however, turns into a whistle of admiration at the sight before you.

Somehow, they've managed to haul your Abrams back onto the plaza, though they have yet to get all the dirt stains off. You think they should leave them; badges of honor and skill, they are.

Next to the Abrams sits the remaining Humvee, which you notice seems to have a lot more armor attached. You imagine that they don't want another exploding Humvee. While you admire their effort, it's going to take a LOT more that to stop you.

And next to the Humvee sits.....well, you're not really sure what that is, but you're sure the General will tell you if you annoy him enough.

Your entourage of ladies and the Spec Ops soldiers are milling about the plaza, chatting to one another or busying themselves with some duty or another. And in the middle of it all stands General Williams, apparently going over a checklist while muttering to himself.

So many options. So little time.

>What do?

[ ] [talk to Moira]

[ ] [talk to Zuli]

[ ] [talk to Illiana]

[ ] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]

[ ] [talk to Faye]

[ ] [talk to Fritz]

[ ] [talk to General Williams]

[ ] [talk to Johnson]

[ ] [talk to Not-Bruces and Bruce]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>Furthermore, pick a military vehicle you want.

Rolled 17

>>22197229
[x] [talk to Zuli]
[x] [talk to Not-Bruces and Bruce]
You'll never guess what Moira did. With me. In bed.

We've got some bragging to do.

File: 1356334913255.jpg-(721 KB, 1720x1160, M60A1_Armored_Vehicle_Lan(...).jpg)

Rolled 1

>>22197266
one of these, of course.

File: 1356335026893.jpg-(49 KB, 605x412, front-view-of-navy-pacv-v(...).jpg)

Rolled 6

>>22197266
A PACV please.
Got to be ready for any environment.
and hovercrafts are cool

Rolled 11

>>22197266
m61a5 if we can have anything (I DONT CARE IF IT DOES NOT EXIST YET ITS AWESOME), STRV 103 is we cant

>>22197339
But is it full of eels?

>>22197310
thing thing never gets old.

"A RIVER. WHAT DO WE DO?"

"IT'S OKAY SIR, I BROUGHT A BRIDGE!"

File: 1356335345489.jpg-(142 KB, 900x767, Vietnam_War_Australian_SASR.jpg)

Rolled 17

>>22197352
also i say we take this resupply opportunity to snag us a Bitch (pic related, its the gun with the muzzle on the ground, cut down full auto FAL with 40mm grenade launcher attached, theres a good reason its called the bitch)

Rolled 19

>>22197402
Because it kicks like a mule so every time you fire you're screaming "son of a bitch"?

Rolled 13

>>22197436
if you were screaming you wouldn't be able to hear yourself cause it has no flash hider or muzzle brake, so deafening they used it to distract the VC and hit them from in a flank in their ambushes

>All but one post are about vehicle choices instead of the conversation choices
>We have have our priorities straight, indeed

Rolled 11

>>22197436
i'd like to think that if you did scream that out you would be kicked out of the SAS, they have standards to maintain, manly manly standards

Rolled 12

>>22197486
well one of those vehicle posts was the other half of the conversation choice, but I was too quick.

>>22197486
how are we supposed to impress if we don't have some sweet wheels to impress with?

I suppose we could steal Jimmy's wheelchair but it just doesn't have the same pizazz as a tank.

>>22197229
[ ] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]

[ ] [talk to Faye]

[ ] [talk to Fritz]

File: 1356336090436.jpg-(172 KB, 800x531, water.jpg)

>>22197229
[X] [talk to Faye]

We should ask is she's alright. For the vehicle I propose the Supacat Jackal 2. It can handle some water, and it can seat several people.

File: 1356336352294.jpg-(212 KB, 1024x768, abn.jpg)

>>22197566
Trunk Monkey gunner seats are always nice

As I can tell this one is going to elicit a lot of discussion, I'll take this opportunity to have a sleep break.

In the meantime, I open the question up to whatever weapons and military crap you guys want me to try to work in. Just make sure that you specify what you're suggesting for this particular vehicle. Also, I can assure you that at least half of them will get blown up at some point.