are you going to post your story OP?

Go ahead, OP. /tg/ can't get enough of That Guy stories.

Ah, OP here. Sorry, I'm also posting on another forum and typing this out as I go, now, let's start!

Let's see, Mike is an interesting fellow. He is about 40 or so, and has that sort of wavy, surfer blond hair that you always see in the movies. He probably works out, because he is actually in shape, which is pretty rare for many of the people I've met in this hobby. Mike is "cool", and trust me, he is not afraid to tell you about it. He was in a band you see. How do I know that? Well if Mike didn't bring it up at least twice in a conversation, well, you weren't listening.

Mike also has quite a temper, which is exasperated when he is drunk. And Mike likes to drink. A lot. And his temper really comes out if he is losing, because you see, Mike is a HUGE sore loser. How big of a sore loser, well Mike was teaching me to play Magic. My second game of Magic with him, I ended up beating him with his own deck (because I didn't own one at the time). Mike proceeded to flip out, actually tell me I'm a shit Magic player, and that the only reason I won was because I was using his deck.

And all of this is known to pretty much everyone who knows Mike. Yet, there is a reason we have not banned Mike from the local game shop we sometimes play out, or ostrasized him from the group. And that reason is very simple. You see, Mike is also the owner of the little gaming shop in town, the only gaming shop in town. That's right, not only is Mike a giant asshole, but he basically controls the supply for gaming in this town, and if you're just getting into gaming or check out the gaming shop in town to find people like you, well guess what, you'll find Mike.

Mike is the kind of guy that will demo a game, and then get pissed off at you if you beat him. He will deride you in front of other customers, and then go behind the counter and grab a drink from his "coke" (which usually has whiskey in it). If he is feeling really emo, he'll turn on his amp and start playing his guitar that he keeps in plain view behind the counter. A really expensive guitar he has told me. On numerous occasions.

From here, the story breaks into four specific stories which I have labeled. Oh, and I've changed the names of everyone except Mike. Because Mike's a dick.
We have:

The Trust Issues Story

The Parking Lot Story

The "Magic" Night

And, my personal favorite, The Leftovers Story

>>21852264
>Oh, and I've changed the names of everyone except Mike. Because Mike's a dick.

I snorted. Continue, OP. I would make cider if I had the ability to, but I guess I'm just watching.

Trust issues

The Trust Issues Story

Alright, well let's start with an introduction to our group of great friends who had the unfortunate luck to have met Mike, and all at the same time, be drawn together for a game of Pathfinder. I was chosen to DM, not because I particularly wanted to or really was particularly good, but because no one else had DMed before, except for Mike.

Mike, though, was pissed off, because Mike had been DMing for according to him, 12 years straight. He finally wanted to play a game, and being the good natured chap that I am, I volunteered. The rest of the group consisted of people I had met at the store. I had just moved to the area and was happy to find the store as it was, and most of the people were already friends with Mike, so when I started putting the game together we talked to people and brought them into the game.

My first warning flag should have been how involved Mike was with the recruiting for the game, because, he would usually send me emails or texts as soon as he found someone and argue they HAD to be in the game. The first two were easy. Mike's girlfriend wanted to play, and I actually knew her from school so I was fine with that. The other was another friend/acquaintance that I sort of knew from school, so that was fine.

For a bit of background, myself, Mike's girlfriend "Mary", and this other friend, "Steve" all go to the grad school that is about 10 minutes away from the school. We are all over 21, and most of the group was between say 23 and 33, with the three of us being 26, 24, and 24, so we had a mostly adult group. The story of how Mike and Mary met, and their relationship is quite a story in and of itself, and it was one that was told to me, but... its a story for another time. Anyway...

So the rest of the group is finally brought together, and they consist of Lily, a fairly rotund girl, but who has a heart of gold and is all smiles. I'm not quite sure what she does, but I think she works as a receptionist or something. Joey, probably the next oldest guy in the group in his early 30s or so. Joey is an engineer, and actually just came back from the Army where he was deployed in Iraq a couple years back. He handled a lot of the systems down there and was a pretty awesome guy. Mike hated him though...

The last guy was Greg. Greg was a Magic player who I met at FNM and he seemed like an OK guy. He was one of the judges, and from what I understand was a pretty big deal in the judging circles.

So, we now have our group together and everything seems to be going well. We start creating characters, and running things by me, and for the most part, everything is going good.
Now, before the game starts, Mike pulled me aside and gave me his "power gamer" talk. You see, Mike hates munchkins. According to him, when someone in the group is dramatically more powerful than everyone else, it makes the whole group experience bad and will break everything up. Mike was really concerned for me because I obviously didn't have as much experience with Pathfinder or DMing, so he wanted to make sure I knew that, and if I wanted any help, he would be more than happy to look over everything for me. I told him it was fine, but... this is where my second red flag should have started waving.

Now each player brings me their character, I quickly glance over it, and then approve it. These people are pretty smart so it doesn't take much. Lily decides to play a cleric, Mary is playing a Paladin, Greg wants to play a Hunter. Those three are quickly OKed, no problem.

Then Mike and Joey pass me along their characters. Joey wants to play a Ninja, which is a rogue variant in one of the other books. I check it out, and although it looks a little powerful, overall it seemed balanced. Mike wants to play a sorcerer, and not just any sorcerer, but an Arcane Bloodline Sorcerer.

For those of you who don't know, the Arcane Bloodline is heads and tails better than all of the other bloodlines. It gives the sorcerer more spells known, the equivalent of spell focus and greater spell focus, and eventually allows you an ability that allows you to use a Staff without using charges. Yea, its pretty powerful.

So far Mike.
>Drinks whiskey out of a coke can
>Plays a guitar while running his store.
>forever DM (taking the bullet for us sinners)
>hates munchkins.

Honestly Mike sounds pretty rad at the moment.

>>21852377

He also gets mad at demo games.

>>21852377
You have clearly never had the misfortune to meet a self-professed Cool Guy.

>>21852377
And you have fallen into the trap that pretty much everyone does at first. Why is this awesome cool guy a gamer? He runs a game store too? Super cool! Oh... we are all glamoured by Mike at first...

So, I look them over, but I decide to drop it. I find it funny that Mike's character might very well be the character he "warned" me about, but it isn't that big of an idea.

Once the game starts, a few other problems start to be known. Mike wants to be the "groups banker", and keep a tally of all the gold the group makes on adventures. This is so they can make sure everything is "distributed evenly". oO Ok, fine, not that big of a deal, I mean, that might make it more convenient.

Next, Mike has a problem with Joey's Ninja, because the class is most obviously broken. It gets so bad, we aren't more than 30 minutes into the game when they get into a shouting match from across the table. (This isn't looking good...)

The game eventually ends, more or less with everyone still involved, and we are all starting to pack up. Mike starts grabbing everyone else's character sheets. Now, I'm like... what the fuck? He informs us that he "just wants to make sure no one ever loses their sheets", and that he'll keep them in the store. Joey and I have a bit of an issue with this, and eventually Mike "agrees to compromise" if I hold onto the sheets. He just wants to make sure "no one cheats and adds something".

I'm getting a bit annoyed, but Joey is starting to get mad. I calm him down, and eventually we all leave the store and go on home. No big deal.

Now we all keep in touch over facebook, and I realize that I had forgotten to give out XP at the end of the night, and that everyone leveled up. I send everyone a message, but since I have all the sheets, no one can level up their characters. ><

So two weeks later (we played every two weeks), I come in early so that everyone can level up before we play. Joey though, can't make it early because he has work. No big deal, he can level up while I do exposition. Or at least, that's what I planned. Mike had other plans.

I left the character sheets in a folder in the middle of the table, and while I wasn't looking, Mike decided to "help" by taking Joey's sheet and leveling him for him. Mike wanted to "help" him out. He also, of course, got a real good look at his character, and made some notes about how overpowered it was (that he subsequently copied and passed to me)...

Captcha: Limering Aged, sounds like a beer I once had the misfortune of trying...

I didn't even know this had happened until when we are about to start Joey asks me why I leveled his character. I looked at him and said I didn't... Mike then pipes up and tells Joey to be grateful because he went out of his way to do it for him. Joey, however, is quite annoyed. He tells Mike that he doesn't want him looking over his character sheet or doing anything like that again, that he will handle his character. The entire thing nearly gets into an argument because Mike is quite annoyed that Joey can't even thank him for doing Joey a favor...

Luckily cooler heads prevail, Joey doesn't throw a chair at Mike, but everything should have been clear, Mike wasn't allowed to touch Joey's character and that Joey would be fine doing it on his own, thank you very much. Well... it was clear to everyone but Mike that is. Because, wouldn't you know it, guess what happened next session?

This time though, Joey had enough. Mike and Joey had another argument about it, and this time Joey walked out. And that was how Joey left the game, one month after it started. All, pretty much because Mike has trust issues, and if he isn't the center of attention, he will make sure you both know it and kick you out of it.

The Parking Lot Story, Steve

The "Magic" Night, Greg

The Leftovers Story, Lily

>>21852452
I would suggest just telling them in the order they happened, bro

just go on chronological order, OP

>>21852465 >>21852484

Very well, I figured Chronological Order would work best, and the next one is the Parking Lot Story anyway. I'm about at the end of what I have typed so further updates may be a bit slower.

I swear to God, you guys have the best stories. Makes me wish I could actually get a group together to Roleplay when all my acquaintances aren't all scoffing at it.

>>21852418
>>Thinks that might be me.

>>21852529
>best stories
>makes me wish I could get a group together
>the current stories in question are how horrible sociodynamics ruined OPs gaming group

this amused me
but yes /tg/ has the best stories

>>21852529
You can totally trick people into role playing. Or at least one or two exchanges.

You just kinda have to drop it on their when they're talking about something role playing relatd. Some girl was talking about vampires so I was like "Well if you were a vampire what powers would you like the most?"

And shes like "ohh wow the speed and mind control and strength and.." Cool, so you think a vampire could win in a find against a werewolf?

"Ohh definitely the wolves only win if they fight in packs and..." Alright, so what would you do if you were a vampire, with those powers you told me you wanted, and like... man like 5 werewolves jump out at you in an alley! You're on your way back from a club, where you were hunting...

"Ohh man I would totally rip them to shreds! I would mind control one and leave him stunned! Then..."

Boom, you're role playing.

>>21852597
This girl be mad, werewolves are clearly better.

>>21852597
That seem more a Mary-Sue twifangirl powerwank...

Still RP nonetheless...

So, the game is going more or less smoothly at this point, Joey has left, and Mike is the center of attention in the game. I didn't intend it to work out like that, but being as powerful as he is, all of the other characters are basically playing second fiddle to this amazing Sorcerer super star.

Now, Mike's character is more than just an Arcane Blooded Sorcerer. He is Flux! Sorcerer extraordinaire. He was trained, the last of kind, because he is sure that his Arcane Bloodline comes from the Gods themselves. (I asked him why he didn't then take the Celestial Bloodline, and he said that it didn't feel the "flow" of his character)...

Flux was trained for 20 years alone with his master in all of the most powerful spells. He has a charisma of 20 (because he actually rolled 3 sixes out of four dice), and he is an Aasimar, giving him +2 to Cha and Wis. Aasimar is a race from the Advanced Race Guide, and they are pretty much amazing. To add to it, the have no level adjustment. Maybe part of Mike's problem was I was asleep while DMing...

Anyway, to add to his amazing good looks, Flux has flowing white hair that is always glistening and flowing in the wind (thanks to some spells he used permanency on to constantly give it that effect), his shirt is always unbuttoned showing his amazing abs over his pale chest, and his robes are flowing in the breeze.

You might be amazed at how I remember all this. Trust me, it isn't hard. Mike made sure to tell everyone. All the time. His girlfriend drew pictures of his character that he constantly was passing around the table. And of course, he maxed out bluff and diplomacy because his character was the obvious face for the group. Instead of, say, the Paladin of Iomedae (who was also an Aasimar, and I'm pretty sure Mike made her character...).

>>21852588
I consider such stories good training to spot That Guys and avoid horrible groups.

Mike's constant shenanigans are starting to almost get comical, and there are many times I struggle to keep a straight face. Steve though, he can't. Eventually he starts picking apart Flux at all times. Three times during this session stick out in my mind. The first, when the group are walking through a forest to get into the next town, Steve has an idea.

Wait, did I forget Steve! I appear to have completely forgotten Steve's character. Don't worry, its a bit of a doozy, you see, Steve is playing a druid. But not just any druid, Steve is playing an elf that walks around in burlap armor, which he is sure to remind you has all of the requisite labels still on it from the "organic" manufacturers who made it.

He has dreads that go all the way down his back, and are constantly getting in the way of his face. His druid carries around a big tree seed that he calls his "iPod", which he uses as a focus for his spells, and is constantly talking to while the rest of the party is doing something stupid. He smokes the "good leaf" from his long Gandalf style pipe, and is constantly asking what'cha doin man, and why can't we all just be friends with our nature brothers?

Steve built a stoner hipster druid, and it was glorious. He was the antithesis of Flux. When Flux tried to be cool, Steve would just be there man.

>>21852529
If anything I've found that people who aren't roleplayers can be great fun to run a game for if they can get into it.

I ran a one-off Call of Cthulhu for some college friends who'd never roleplayed before (and as a result couldn't instantly go "oh, that's a ..." the moment the horror of the story appeared).

One of the best games I've ever run, they started off not taking it too seriously, but by the end of the session the girl of the group had to get someone to take her home because she didn't want to walk home alone. Which as a CoC game master I consider to be a grand success!

Now, they're all in the forest and Steve gets this idea. You see, he knows Flux's robes are constantly swaying in the breeze, but dude, he knows how high he is and he ain't so high that he can't feel the breeze. He's flat tripping out now, because DUDE, that breeze is fucking with my nature's flow.

So, he does what any rational hipster stoner druid would do. He decides that he needs to see if any leaves can get caught in this breeze. While Flux is going on and on about this and that, Steve is passing me notes about how his druid is gathering leaves. Right as we start to get into town, he puts his brilliant plan into action. He starts dropping leaves around Flux to try to find out where this breeze begins. Not one at a time though. No, he gathers all of the leaves and then uses Gust of Wind to blast them at Flux.

I'll admit it, I laughed, as did the rest of the table. It was even funnier when Flux realized that the leaves were sticking to his face, hair and cloak because of how he worded the spell that kept his cloak and hair "wafting" in the breeze, forcing him to dismiss the spells to remove the leaves (I may have been having a bit of fun now too at Mike/Flux's expense), but I think everyone thought it was in good fun. The table was laughing, and even Mike seemed to be in on the joke... Oh no, no he wasnt...

So, we get into town, and Flux now has all of his spells off and he can't bring them back up until the next day, so he is sort of looking dull and frumpled. He made sure to give me the evil eye about this as he lamented about it all day. I thought it was done, Steve was still experimenting though...

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>>21852609
>werewolves are clearly better.
Well yeah man, but chicks love vampires.
>>21852614
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

>>21852647
>>21852670
Why did you write out the same post twice with different wording?

>>21852609
Depends on the setting.

In twilight, yeah, werewolves are far strongher than vampires, that's why they were hunted down to extinction.

>>21852678
Cause one I got kinda mad at some douche using the word mary sue, and snide inigo montoya was the better choice.

Stay classy my friends.

>>21852678
>What does "editing" mean?

>>21852707
Sorting out your post before you post it, hopefully.

So they all sleep at the Inn, and finally Flux has his "charm" back. He goes off about how he walks down the stairs, orders a drink for the bartender, and starts flirting with all the wenches down stairs. This is when Steve's druid arrives behind the counter and hands him a beer. On top of his head. Just to see if liquids can escape his little "magical effect". At this point I ruled that they could, but I could see that things were starting to get a little bit less funny. I asked Steve to knock it off, and he laughed, but Mike was starting to get angry. After some terseness, the game went back to normal.

But Steve had one more plan to push Mike's buttons, and it might have been the best of the three. You see, Steve's druid was convinced that all Flux needed to do was relax a bit, and maybe take a whiff of the good bud man.

So, at night, while Steve is on watch and speaking with his "iPod", he puts his last plan into action. He finds Flux's tent, and then finds a long hollow tube, and slips it between the flaps, careful to keep it closed. When it is all set up, he starts smoking and blowing the smoke into Flux's tent, hotboxing Flux's tent in the middle of the forest. All. Night. Long.

Now Mike is a bit straight edge, or so he says it. And I wasn't quite clear on what the rules would be for a Aasamir Sorcerer that was higher than Bob Marley after a concert in Jamaica. So I just went with the "Mad Hallucination" Spell, and explained to Flux that when he woke up, all of the surfaces seemed to be swimming, he was filled with a tent that appeared to be on fire, but that he was the calmest he had ever been in his life. And that he had a craving for cookies.

While everyone was laughing, as they figured out what Steve had did, Mike was a ball of fury, barely keeping his seat. As it was getting late, I decided to call the game there, and it seemed like everything was fine. Mike, though, got up from his seat and hoevered over Steve, standing right next to him and staring him down. Steve asked him what was up, and Mike just stared and said nothing.

He kept staring at Steve like he was trying to burn holes in his head with just the power of his Care Bear Stare. After a couple times asking him what was up, Steve just shrugged and gathered his things and walked out. And Mike followed him, step for step.

When they got outside, Steve asked what his problem was, Mike got right up in his face, and continued not to say anything. Mike was quite literally an inch from Steve's face and wouldn't say anything. At this point Steve has just about had enough. He tries to open his door to get in his car, but Mike is standing right there, and won't move. I though Mike was going to hit him or something, but he just kept staring, I don't know if he was working up the courage to do it or something, but it was just.... weird... This goes on for about a couple minutes and then finally Mary is able to coax Mike away from Steve and Steve then gets in his car and drives off.

I got a text from Steve a couple days later, he wasn't coming back to the game. Mike was fucking crazy man. And, to tell you the truth, I was starting to think the same thing.

>>21852733

I'll move on to a "Magic" night in a little bit, going to grab a drink.

>>21852731
>Venting weed smoke in your tent while you sleep

Gonna try this for my next campaign!

>>21852715
How bout you post the way you want and shut the fuck up about how other people post? Fucking aspergers control freak teenager DMs.

Sounds like hes less "that guy" and more of a fucking psycho

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>>21852755

>>21852731
>Now Mike is a bit straight edge, or so he says it.
>Drinks whiskey in a coke can
>Like the characters on "Its always sunny in philedelphia" do.
>While working. Presumably during the day.
>Straight edge.

>>21852755
You keep using those words, i don't think they means what you think they means

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>>21852767
>No power, no control.
>people gonna post the way they want. Utter chaos.
>makes spergy a sad panda

>>21852768
He's like Father Jack. Sobriety is like a kind of mad hallucinogenic drug to him

>>21852761

I think you'd be surprised at how often those two things overlap.

>>21852785
He's going to give someone shit over in character smoking weed, but he's clearly an alcoholic.

That's fucking pathetic.

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>>21852784
>greentext
>greentext
>greentext

>>21852768

Mike was never quite internally consistent. If he could find a way to make you feel bad about yourself, or a way to make himself feel superior, he would press it.

With this, it was "drugs are bad" man.

This Mike guy seems like kind of a nob but it does also seem like people have gone out of their way to annoy and anger him and the DM/OP has just allowed it to go on.

>>21852810
If you surround yourself with a permanent magical effect purely to look cool with the wind blowing through your hair, you really are asking to be trolled.

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>>21852785

I'm actually watching cigarettes and alcohol and rollerblading right now
>mfw

>>21852810
I'd say he kind of asked for it with such a personality.

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>>21852795
>implying

>>21852821
His real reason was so that arrows aimed at him would be deflected away by the wind, obviously.

>>21852821

True, I guess. But really the leaf thing was more than enough. The DM needed to stop one player from continually picking on another, even if they are trying to look cool.

>>21852810
Really? I've never played an ultra serious omg you guys lets take this seriously game. Shit like that is what you should expect playing DnD!

Plus: >>21852821

>>21852825
>Looks around
>sees "That Guy" thread, "Paladin fall wut do", and edition trolling
DON'T TELL ME I'M STILL ON THAT FECKING BOARD!

I would totally take stoner druid player over weeaboo "cool guy"

>>21852785
No, the one point where he comes to his annual sobriety he has surprising clarity.

"Am I still on that feckin' island?!"

OP please post faster.

The "Magic" Night

Now, on Fridays I think I mentioned it before, was Friday Night Magic. Being the only gaming store in the area, and having a grad school and at elast 3 high schools pretty close (as well as an undergrad satillite campus and a community college), the place was PACKED. It was a pretty small store, but it wasn't surprising to fit 25-30 people on a Friday Night, and up to 50 on a Prerelease.

Mike was a judge, as was another guy who worked there. Greg, who was in the game was also a judge, but he usually played at this store and judged at another store on Saturdays. Greg was a pretty big deal in the judging circles. I don't remember what the levels were, or what they meant, but if I remember correctly, in the State I lived in, Greg was like in the top 25 "rank" wise or something, and would constantly be flown out to tournaments to help judge all around the country. He fucking knew his shit, and everyone loved him.

This one particular story doesn't take place on RPG night though, it takes place on what I thought would be a normal Friday night. I had been getting back into Magic and was doing pretty OK at the tournaments. I had just the last three weeks made top 8 each week, and I was looking to try to break into top 4 or maybe win it this week. My confidence was high and I felt like I really knew my deck well. Mike decided he was going to play tonight too. Oh god.

Where can I read archived "That Guy" stories?

>>21852264
>Mike is the kind of guy that will demo a game, and then get pissed off at you if you beat him. He will deride you in front of other customers, and then go behind the counter and grab a drink from his "coke" (which usually has whiskey in it).
>Demos the game and then insults you if you do well
Is he TRYING to lose money?

>>21852928
archive.foolz.us

search for "that guy".

>>21852915

I'm going! I'm going! :D I should be studying for finals but...

I think I'll put a "name" in my posts so they're easier to find too. Anyone have a suggestion?

>>21852936
>That guy who talks about That Guy

>>21852936
The Dude Talking About That Guy Mike

>>21852936
>Everybody Hates Mike

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>>21852928

>>21852936
>Some Guy talking about Mike

>>21852936
>Not Mike

This thread is awesome. keep on being awesome OP

>>21852965
>Everybody Hates Mike

I like this! Done! For you, the next part of our story:

Just a quick overview of the Tournament structure at FNM, depending on the number of players that are there that night, there will be a True Swiss format with X number of rounds. After the rounds, the top 4 or 8 are cut off into a single elimination bracket. Most of the time the top 8 or top 4 split the prize and go home, but there are some players that like to play it out. Mike is one of them, if he plays, and he's in top 8 or 4, there is no split. You have to beat him. Yup. The man who hates to lose forces you to play him and beat him if you want to go home with more than the money you already spent in his store (since losing in top 8 without a split generally only gives you back the tournament entrance fee, but in store credit.)

Now I will say one thing in Mike's defense, he ran a pretty solid business. His tournament prices, pack prices, hell, all of his inventory was very competitively priced. He would work out deals with his customers, and I never ever had an issue with him there. I never worried about him trying to cheat me in almost anyway. Save for his "Store Credit" record keeping.

>>21852795
>ur gay boyfriends (u have lik 23.5)
Damn, guy is a pimp. I couldn't juggle two dozen SOs.

>>21852936
The Storyteller
He who tells the tale of he who is named among the unnamed, loved by himself and maligned by the gods

>>21853016

He kept his Store credit in this little composition notebook that he often just left out on the counter. I had to keep a running tally of my own store credit, with proof of what I won, when I won it, or Mike might forget to write it down and then forget he was supposed to, and I would lose out on "store Credit". He also had a rule that at no time could you have more than $50 in store credit. When some of the pay outs for tournaments were greater than $50, you had to spend it immidiately or lose it. I guess I can't really fault him for that, he is running a business, but at the same time, all that Store Credit is coming directly from money he is taking from the tournaments. You would think he'd prefer having $300 now, and then having someone spend their credit later... But it is what it is...

The Business was run pretty well, he had zero competition anywhere near him, and he was right in a perfect little spot where he had plenty of potential customers. The worst thing about Mike's store was Mike's fucking personality.

OP, these stories could be a lot shorter if you trimmed the fat, so to speak.

I seriously just spent ten minutes reading pointless backstory to reach the climax of "That Guy changed another player's character sheet once".

Ever hear of green text? Fuck.

>>21852928
>>21852935
sup/tg/ archive is also there. Tags and everything.

>>21853016
>Now I will say one thing in Mike's defense, he ran a pretty solid business.
Including scaring off potential customers every time they win a demo game?

>>21853029

If you don't like the story, you don't have to read it. And it was twice. After he was specifically told not to do it again.

>>21853029
if you don't like the format, don't read the fucking stories you fat assberger. some of us happens to be enjoying ourself in this thread.

>>21853043
>>21853043
>The worst thing about Mike's store was Mike's fucking personality.

>>21853029
If you don't like it don't read it. We're trying to enjoy a quality thread here.

>His girlfriend drew pictures of his character
I draw pictures of my characters. Am I That Guy? D:

>>21853029
I perfer this really than just getting the bare bones

>>21853071

Nah, not at all. I think everyone has bits of personality traits that could be considered "That Guy" territory, and I'm sure in my posts you can pick out some that can be ascribed to me as well.

A true "That Guy" is one who is like a hurricane, and circles so many storms inside himself that he could devastate New Orleans just by showing up.

>>21853025
So, back to the tournament. The first couple rounds are going pretty OK. Mike is winning, so he is happy. I'm winning, so I'm happy. Greg is stomping everyone so he's happy. Then we get to round 3, and shit starts getting real.

Greg and Mike get paired up in Round 3, and the trash talk begins. But Greg is a seasoned vet, he isn't going to take Mike's trash talk lying down. Not in his fucking game. So Greg is throwing it right back at him. And Greg is getting him pretty good. If I could remember the stingers so help me I'd post them here. Suffice to say though, everyone was keeping an eye on their own game, and an ear on Greg and Mike's verbal duel. Mike was giving as good as he was getting though. The main problem though, was Mike started drinking at the start of the tournament, and with rounds lasting between 30-50 minutes, by Round 3 Mike was probably not legal to drive anymore at best. And Mike starts to get angry when he's drunk. And Greg is giving it to him pretty bad.

In the end though, Mike ends up winning and gets the last laugh. In a way, it was crisis averted, because I would have hated to see what happens if Mike had lost that round. I win my round as well, so I'm 3-0 at the end of 3 rounds, as are about 5-6 other people. If I win either of my next rounds I'm pretty much guarenteed to make the top 8 cut off.

>>21853098
Round 4, I'm paired up against Mike. And Mike has for the most part not sobered up at all. While he was going about his game of insult jeopardy, I personally don't like to play that way. When I play games, I get in the fucking zone and don't let things distract me. So while Mike was trying to do that, I was pretty much ignoring him, or only saying enough to make sure my play was understood. Mike got a bit angry at that... eventually he looks at me, realizing that I wasn't being thrown off by it and he.... picks up his cards and leaves. He got angry, but since I wasn't going back and forth with him, he decided to just forfiet. I think it was partially because Mike and I had had talks about his being a bit of a sore loser and his anger issues, and maybe he was just trying to avoid another fight. But... I was 4-0...

Greg ended up winning his 4th round game, so he was 3-1, as was Mike. If they both won their games they'd both make top 8, and I was able to draw with another person who was 4-0 and made top 8 without having to play round 5.

So, Mike, Greg and I, along with 5 other blokes whos names, faces, and general demeaner escape me make the top 8. But there was something important about the last 5, 3 of them were judges that were part of Greg's crew. In fact, pretty much every judge that was not Mike was part of Greg's crew, because Greg basically ran Magic in the particular part of the State I live in.

We get pairings, and while the other 7 of us were down for a top 8 split, Mike was not. So, ITS TIME TO PLAY! Mike gets paired up with Greg. Fuck.

>>21852968

Well. I'm gonna go down a bottle of fucking bleach.

Do go on, good sir of an OP. I will post my tale when you finish...

>>21853162
Mind if I join you, Anon?

>>21853162
>>21853190
Now imagine you were there when that story was being posted live. I seriously couldn't look away.

File: 1354466421832.png-(2.58 MB, 2100x1933, chet.png)

>>21853162

Have another.

>>21853190

Feel free.

That shits depressing as fuck. Makes me feel good i've never had a GF man. That shit would fuck me up.

And i read it in the time it took OP to post 3 times, god DAMN son its almost 3am here.

>>21853198
>>21853204

Oh god man don't do this to me. I'm halfway though a bottle of southern comfort and i'm feeling like my heart could shatter any moment.

>>21853102

ne note, that is kind of important in the story, for Store Credit, all the judges in Greg's group split their credit. They got boxes of magic for free from judging events and got plenty of cards to feed their habit for free, so they never needed money to buy cards. So they just piled up credit in Mike's book, and just used it for tournaments and prereleases. At the time of this tournament, they had over $400 in credit, and they worked out a deal with Mike that they were the only ones who were allowed to go over the $50 rule. Since they brought in a whole lot of business and prestige by playing there, it was a win-win really. In fact, since they barely every bought anything, it was Mike getting the best of this deal here.

And so it begins, Part II of the epic who can get the most insults out and call the other's mother a fat tard. And Greg was bringing his A game in both the insult war and the Magic Game. All the other games finished pretty quick, and Mike and Greg were still on their first game still (For Magic, in the time for the match you play best of three games).

The duel starts reaching a crescendo, and its the end of the night, most of the people have gone home and there are maybe 8 or 10 of us left in the shop. Card is played after card, and each one is an up your ass, and fuck you royally. The game goes back and forth, Mike plays a counter, Greg stomps out a giant creature, Mike steals it from him. On and on it goes, and as the games wear on, you can start to see that glint in Mike's eyes. That glint that says, while everyone else is having fun, and even if they're trash talking, its still all just a game, Mike is getting angry.

>>21853226

It comes down to game 3, and Mike is on the ropes. Greg clearly has control of the game, and by the shit spewing out of his mouth, you know he knows it. But Mike gets a miracle card and is able to even everything up. Everything is getting fucking tense as they're both in top deck mode, no hands, nothing on the field but lands, hoping your deck can provide that one bullet to win the game.

And Greg draws fucking Gristlebrand.

What is Gristlebrand? He is an 8 drop, Lifelink/Flying, 7/7 Demon from I'm going to fuck you in the eye socket. And he has an ability, pay 7 life, draw 7 cards. Greg drops that monster on the field. But as he has less than 7 life, and the creature has summoning sickness, he can't win this turn. He passes to Mike. Mike has to either kill gristlebrand, or at least draw something that will dlow him down, or else next turn Greg will win.

So what does Mike do?

...

...

He flips the fucking table and flips the fuck out. He starts yelling at Greg, I dont' even fucking know what he was saying at that point and we are all fucking dumbfounded. When Greg gets his wits together, he starts screaming right back. Mike proceeds to pick up Greg's cards from the floor, walk to the door, and throw them out, and then tells Greg he's banned from the store. Greg walks out, I head out, and Greg never returns. I hear Mike eventually went to Greg and apologized. You see, when Greg left, so did all of the other judges. Including the one that worked for Mike, leaving Mike the only judge left in the store. And when they stopped showing, and word got out, a lot of people stopped showing. Mike went from running 25-30 a Friday to maybe getting 10-12.

It was at this point that I was pretty much done with Mike. But wait... there is still one more story, and frankly, its the worst (best?) of them all. This next story happens kind of concurrently with this story timeline wise, but ends after it.

>>21853246

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYuF3T7s7XY

Francis General?

looks like Mike is a real bro and someone is a butthurt here.

File: 1354466949259.png-(320 KB, 1137x2680, Jakob.png)

>>21853215
>>21853215

I hope you like Feels.

>>21853204

> Shrieking in animal rage, he swings his bag at me, but i am too far away. Unbalanced on heels he trips and his face impacts onto one of the chairs.

> His bag spills some materials that i only saw as half finished pop tarts and some form of hentai.

> Runs away sobbing on one broken heel trailing nose blood, tears, shame and horror.

> Screams at all of for not being in character and being horrible roleplayers.

I'm sorry man but thats just fucking hilarious. I am honetsly in stitches here. Never have i used this but damn man my sides are hurtign.

>>21853276
>Flips over tables when he's losing

File: 1354466997397.jpg-(49 KB, 192x171, 1352133795602.jpg)

>>21853204
>he is wearing heels.

File: 1354467014773.jpg-(60 KB, 585x202, 1346344332851.jpg)

>>21853276
Hey Mike, what're you doing on 4chan?

>>21853255
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5EegPifcB8&feature=player_detailpage#t=30s

>>21853288

Trolls will be trolls. Don't feed the trolls.

Okay, I've been out of Magic for years now, but how could anyone possibly think it's a good idea to plan in your own tournament that you're running in your own store?

>>21853309
PLAY in. Fuck.

File: 1354467350895.gif-(787 KB, 480x360, Orson welles.gif)

>>21853304
>So I win, right?

>>21853309
I think OP also forgot how hard wizards is on their judges and tournament orgs. If Mike the bro of bros , ever fliped the table or done anything near that stupid he would never ever make a tournament. OP is butthurt because Mike , the bro of bros, has a hot chick half his age [he 40+ she 20+] , has his own store and lives out of his hobby while drinking .
jelly much . + it is very anti semite to say such stuff about him .

>>21853354
>it is very anti semite to say such stuff about him .

Unless he was you know.... a That guy.

>>21853284
Oh god damn it.

>>21853309

I hear ya, but whose store would he play at then? He at the very least made it clear he was not the head judge while he was playing.

>>21853354

You know, now that I think about it, I never did send a complaint to Wizards about this. But seeing as I haven't been back to the store since about a week or two after that incident I couldn't tell you if anything had been done or not.

>>21853284

> Get to the mass effect part.
> Know its going to end badly.
> Keep reading.
> Keep reading.
> God fucking DAMN IT.

I hate you man.

Fuck.

>>21853378
this or that doesnt matter. OP just jelly and butthurt. If anyone is a that guy , then it is OP. mike is living the dream every neckbeard would like to live , booz , babes , 24/7 gaming and getting paid for it and OP just tries to ruin it for him. clear as day

>>21853427
>>21853354
Get out of here Mike.

>>21853427
or you are mike

>>21853354
>jelly much . + it is very anti semite to say such stuff about him .
I've read nothing that derides the mans ethnicity. Just his complete douchebaggery. Nice try.

>>21853276
>>21853427
>>21853354
Thank you for your input.

OP, please continue.

>>21853452
Chicks , booz , living the life of his dream . others jelly of his manliness and fortune . he clearly has to be jewish .

>>21853452
>>21853427
Dont you have some threads on /b/ to "troll"?

>about 10 hours sleep over the last two nights
>3:40am
>the bed, she calls
>I really want to see this last story
curses and drat

>>21853484
Just go to the foolz archive, go to the first post number, and bookmark it.

http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/21851801/

It'll be there when you wake up.

File: 1354468401504.jpg-(33 KB, 533x354, 1354377121289.jpg)

please continue op

>>21853427
Wouldn't a THAT GUY still be considered a THAT GUY if he ruined the game and or games for everyone else?
I mean Mike did kind of make two people leave a pathfinders game while being a hypocrite and flip a table at a MTG event.
I wouldn't really call OP a That Guy in this regard.
I mean making a That Guy rage and quit a game has been a hallmark of many /tg/ stories.
Next you'll tell me the guy who calls out a guy who plays an obvious Mary Sue character who tried to rape other peoples characters while metagaming is a That guy.

>>21853354
>>21853427
>>21853475
You're not helping your case, Mike. Just confirming OP's story.

File: 1354468776229.jpg-(314 KB, 1238x1331, 1330028184598.jpg)

>>21853423

Do you've a dog?

>>21853514
his charas both mechanic and story wise were neat . not Mikes foult that other people dont know how to play the game , worse when he did try to help them OP , clearly out of envy , made Mike look like the bad guy . On the MtG tournament when Mike , the man, faced a coalition of players that wanted to bring him down [which is clearly cheating. team play in non team tournaments is just that . its is in the MtG judges rule book] , he did react harsh. But how can one blame him . Faced with cheating how would anyone act different . better the cheaters leave the game and the store keeps the cool people , then have the new players infected with bad habits of the Greg team .

>>21853255
Okay hold up, did he get pissed because he lost? He knew he was going to lose right?

Wasn't he just begging to be attacked?

I realize that I'm trying to find reason in That Guy neckbeard, but still.

>>21853555

My cat died a few weeks ago.

No OPs story is worth this.

I'm fucking out man. i cant do this.

>>21853246
The Leftovers Story

So, picking up the story about a couple days after Steve left the group, I get a text from Lily, she has her appendix burst and she was in the hospitol. It was all very tragic, she nearly died, and for several weeks she was a complete and utter mess. I wasn't able to see her much, but then again, no one was. First she was in the hospitol for several weeks, and then when she finally got home, she was in bed for several weeks.

However, while I and the other guys were concerned for her, I learned later all of the actions Mike was doing...

You see, Mike can't let go. At all. He wants to have control of you, and if you're a woman, even more so. I think its time to tell you a bit of the two stories I heard about Mike from some of the refugees I found in a new game after I stopped talking with Mike. These will be short though and rolled into this story. The first is how Mike and Mary started dating (and Mary is a sweet, sweet caring girl, and I am pretty sure the only reason she is still with him is Stockholm Syndrome), and the next is how "The Refugee" first met Mike.

Now you see, Mike is a badass guitar player that can get "all the pussy" he ever wanted. That's why he's been dating Mary for about 9 years now. But, wait, you might say. didn't you give us Mary's age earlier? Why yes, yes I did, Mary is currently 24.


But wait, wait, you might say, if I do the math correctly, wouldn't that mean that Mike was in his early thirtees when he met Mary, and Mary was only 15. Why yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. I don't know all the details of how they started their relationship, as I heard this story second hand and did not experience it at all, but from what I was told they met online over an internet game. They "started going out" online, and then when Mary turned 17 Mike flew her out to meet him, and she never left.

thanks OP this is golden

>>21853568
Tell us about your cat. I've lost cats. Maybe you'll feel better. Or worse! Who can say.

>>21853581
Like I said, Stockholm Syndrome. I should mention, Mike has a son too. His kid is currently 19. That's right folks, Mike has a son that is closer in age to his girlfriend than he is. A kid that is currently older than in age than Mary was when she met Mike. I really couldn't even make this shit up if I tried, I'm really not that imaginitive.

As for "Refugee Guy's" story, it was very simple. When he first met Mike, Mike was DMing a game, and all the players in it were girls, all four of them. He said, when he walked up to the table, something felt weird, like there was a disturbance in the force. This game was Mike's personal harem, and no guys were allowed. Maybe that is something that most guys would want, but "Refugee Guy" just claimed that it creeped him the fuck out.

Back to Lily, while she was in the hospitol, she got a text from Mike. Apparently, Mike's son was in town for the weekend and he was really hoping that she would come over and meet him. Lily, unfortunately, was bed ridden in the hospitol, and Mike knew this. But that didn't stop him from writing several pages of text messages about what a horrible selfish person she was that she wouldn't come meet his son. That he wished she died when her appendix burst, and that he never wanted to see her again. Yea, I didn't believe it either, and I fucking read the text messages off of Lily's phone.

Then, when Lily got out of the hospitol, Mike would text her daily, saying where the fuck she was. Asking her when she would visit the store. One time, he drove to her house and texted her for two hours saying he was outside and she needed to let him in. She was bed ridden, in her PJs, and kept telling him, no, go the fuck home. Again. I've read the text messages. This all fucking happened.

File: 1354469107248.gif-(112 KB, 320x180, Red-Siren-Animated[1].gif)

>>21853581
>they met online over an internet game

>>21853592
Eventually, though, Lily got better, and about a week or so after the "Magic" incident Lily decided to hold a BBQ and invite everyone over to sort of get back together with everyone. Lily invited Mary, and reluctantly invited Mike as well, because, well, Mary wasn't going to come alone. But, although Lily was feeling a lot better she was still on pain medications and somewhat out of it.

I wish there was something funny or that there was something redeeming in this story, but, really, it just gets worse from here on out.

I warned you.

>>21853581
>Mike dating a then-underage girl

dis gunna be good...

>>21853581
fuck you dude we both know she is 26 . she took a break after highschool .

>>21853604
So we all come over to Lily's for the BBQ on a Saturday. And it was a nice time. Mike wasn't on his best behaivior, and the entire time Mike (and to a lessor extent Mary) we sort of giving Lily the evil eye. As things were winding down, Mike actually started to help clean up a bit. We had wrapped and put most of the leftovers in the fridge, and since we all brought a lot of stuff and the plan was to leave it all at Lily's. We figured it might just go bad if we left it out, or brought it home, and I'm sure she could have eaten it. Lily didn't have much of an appetite, and when Mike was cleaning up, he even went so far as to scrape the food off of Lily's plate into a bowl and brought it into the house. We were all quite surprised, but we thought Mike was showing some compassion for his friend. We really all though, sitting outside while Mike and Mary were inside cleaning that perhaps Mike wasn't really as bad as maybe we were making him out to be. I mean, everyone has their faults, right?

You know, Mike and Mary have been gone for a while, let's go inside and see if they need some help.

...

All of the dishes are piled up in the sink and empty.

...

Wait, where are Mike and Mary? Did they leave?

...

Wait... where are all the leftovers...? They aren't in the fridge. Hey, wait, wasn't your fridge full Lily?

...

Mike and Mary had carried all the leftovers, not to the fridge, but to their car. Mike then came back and raided Lily's fridge and took nearly all the food that was in it, and a cake that Lily had bought for the end of the BBQ.

At that point Lily cried.

I texted Mike after that, and he went off on a tirade to me on how Lily was the worst friend in existance and that he deserved the leftovers and she deserved everything she got.

It was at this point that Lily showed us all the texts Mike sent her while she was in the hospitol and recouperating. She was trying to protect him.

I haven't talked to Mike since.

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>>21853604

>>21853612
What the fuck did i just fucking read

what kind of cocksucker just thinks this shit up

>>21853612
Dude It is not Mikes foult that you are hot for all the chicks he has/had. get a life man , get a life .

and on that food thing .A it wasnt leftovers B paying child support means he is entitled to some of the food , because he paid for it . specialy when there is a chance his son my drop by . C drop the shit about crying man . you always come in after she used her eye medication and the spread does fucking lies about crying .

>>21853612
jeez, this was your "favourite" story?
That's fucked up
you niggers better have called the pohleese

>>21853607
Wait, is mike really in the thread?

>>21853612
I don't have a reaction image that conveys confusion and anger in the magnitudes I am feeling them right now.

Why the fuck? Why the fuck would ANYONE do that?

>>21853589

Black and whtie manx i've had since i was like 8 years old. Came to my house probably 2 years old, thin as a fencepost crying so weakly. When i found him i brought him in and fed him then tried to send him off.

He wouldnt leave.

He kept coming back till eventually he was just our cat. I grew up with him, took him to school as a kid for show and tell and loved him very much. The last few weeks he had stopped eating and was sitting around not moving at all in the laundry and in the bath.

I held him out in the sun when he died. He cried a few times before finally exhaling and leaving me alone forever.

Every night he would be at my door or at my bed. Every night for about 12 years he would always be there for me no matter what. And now i go outside to look for him and remember hes not there.

When i make a sandwhich i drop a small slice of ham or whatever food he would eat on the floor, expecting him to come running around the corner to eat it up and rub his face on my legs

I've started to move on, but hes still always there. Whenever i leave the house i wonder if hes outside or in. I still have kilos of cat food just sitting in my cupboard because i can't bring myself to get rid of them

I live alone, and havent hadmuch company or stable relationships my entire life, he was it.

I loved him and did everything i could for him but every day seems to remind me that my best friend in the world is dead and buried and i will never see him again.

I miss him.

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>>21853645

>>21853652
Nah, it's just some retard roleplaying as him to troll I reckon.

>>21853645
....Mike?

>>21853645
You're trying way too hard.

>>21853612
No seriously, why did no one call the police?

>>21853670
because he fucking lies man . If mike ever did stuff like that or any man in a non arabic/eastern sociaty , people would call the cops and bag his ass.

and am not mike .

unlike me he doesnt have to hang around 4chan on sundays.

File: 1354469595404.jpg-(229 KB, 600x551, Ugly.jpg)

>>21853659

Was he Ugly?

>>21853612

Epilogue

So /tg/ that is my story. Some of it may be a bit exaggerated for effect, but it all happened in more or less the way I presented it.

Anyone can look at Mike and think, wow, he's pretty much got it all. And I'm sure there are many people on /tg/ who would like to be in the place he is in. He owns a gaming store, was a former "rock star", has a young hot girlfriend. Hell, in many ways he's what a lot of /tg/ might aspire to be.

But, /tg/ let me tell you, you could have all the material things you want and still be the biggest piece of shit on the planet. I wouldn't be Mike's friend ever again, and I would prefer many of my brothers here over him every day for the rest of my life.

Please /tg/ don't be that guy.

>>21853688
WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL THE COPS AFTER HE FUCKING STOLE FOOD OUT OF THIS CHICK'S HOUSE

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE

>>21853682
You know you are really bad at this whole "pretending" thing

>>21853688

By any chance is the store he runs called Other Realms?

>>21853659
Ah man, I know those feels. It sounds like it was natural causes, so that's something. And you were there in his last moments. For pet death, that's probably the most you could ask for. Besides immortality, but that's a big ask.

One of the worst things is when they die from unnatural causes. It makes you ask "how much longer could we have been together?" So that you don't have to ask yourself that, it's at least something.

I'd tell you to never forget him, but we both know you never will. Remember the good times.

>>21853694
I think you are overestimating how much of a fuck cops give.

>>21853682
Learn to capitalize at the start of a paragraph.

Don't put a space before a comma or full stop.

Learn to troll better.

>>21853612

You mention texts, but not what they were,or why they were so shocking.

>>21853711
check the post before, he goes into more detail about them there.

>>21853612 Ah man I've never been in an RP session with That Guy I don't know how people can bare them. Good read anon, I feel for your woe.

>>21853645 Shh, we know you're trying but it's just devaluing a good read.

>>21853696
Dude what pretending , didnt I just write am not mike. OP just a lieing jelly butthurt excusse for a man .

I mean clearly if you disliked someone and you would knew he stole stuff , wouldnt you call the cops ?

>>21853711
He mentions them a couple post before, about how she's a terrible friend for not leaving the hospital while recovering from appendicitis to see his son.

>>21853711
> Lily, unfortunately, was bed ridden in the hospitol, and Mike knew this. But that didn't stop him from writing several pages of text messages about what a horrible selfish person she was that she wouldn't come meet his son. That he wished she died when her appendix burst, and that he never wanted to see her again. Yea, I didn't believe it either, and I fucking read the text messages off of Lily's phone.

Read upthread a bit

File: 1354469864726.jpg-(548 KB, 872x1548, Woody.jpg)

>>21853687

He had the softest silky hair that you could just sit there patting for hours.

>>21853703

I am glad i was there for him in the end. Everything i did for him was for the best, and the most beautiful part is he stayed alive long enough for me to finish my exams and spend the last few days with him.

It just doesn't stop hurting you know.

>>21853723
cops would tell you to go fuck yourself and just write an incident report over the phone.

So why was Mike so obsessed with Lily seeing his son, was he planning on getting his son laid by a girl recovering from appendicitis or something?

That's a pretty specific fetish.

>>21853739
Absolutely.

The thing that hurts most is when you grew so complacent, you never really took pictures, and then when they're gone you've got so little left.

I'm going to bed.

>>21853739
It does, just give it time.

>>21853756
Don't knock it!

>>21853688
BUT WHAT DID THE TEXTS SAY?

Or did Lily swear you to secrecy?

>>21853747
Dude I dont know from kind of a family you come from , but here if someone calls the cops they come , write stuff down and always find someone to blame .

>>21853694
Lily didn't want to. She was too broken up about it. Steve, Joey and I nearly went to his house and just broke him up about it as well, but she didn't want that either. You don't argue with the emotional sick person, you just do what they say.

>>21853700
No. I would name the store, I should name the store, but if I did my other friends might be identified and I'd rather that not happen.

>>21853711
The texts Lily got in the hospital, and the texts she got when she was home sick and he was stalking her.

>>21853659
I lost my dog recently. I know how you feel.

>>21853774
what does family have to do with the police force? Cops in general don't give much of a fuck about petty crime. Food was stolen, that's all. Hell, I had an associate get a bike stolen and they told him that they weren't going to bother since it was near impossible to recover.

>>21853783
I hope you're still chums with Lily, Steve and Joey.

>>21853767

See below:

>>21853592
>Back to Lily, while she was in the hospitol, she got a text from Mike. Apparently, Mike's son was in town for the weekend and he was really hoping that she would come over and meet him. Lily, unfortunately, was bed ridden in the hospitol, and Mike knew this. But that didn't stop him from writing several pages of text messages about what a horrible selfish person she was that she wouldn't come meet his son. That he wished she died when her appendix burst, and that he never wanted to see her again. Yea, I didn't believe it either, and I fucking read the text messages off of Lily's phone.
>Then, when Lily got out of the hospitol, Mike would text her daily, saying where the fuck she was. Asking her when she would visit the store. One time, he drove to her house and texted her for two hours saying he was outside and she needed to let him in. She was bed ridden, in her PJs, and kept telling him, no, go the fuck home. Again. I've read the text messages. This all fucking happened.

>>21853804

The cops would show up but probably not do anything unless Mike was still there. Unless you have someway to prove that he stole property.

All right, elegan/tg/entleman and ca/tg/irls, it is time for me to share my tales of those who utterly fail at being decent human beings. Not just That Guys, but the kind of person who would be annoying in any environment or contex.

I have three tales to share, and I will start with one you guys pick. Thankfully, they are all different people:

-Shinobi & Friends

-Slutty Rainbow Dranei Cult

-The Smelly Dragon

>>21853813
Yea, currently Steve is running a "Refugee" game at the school. All the players are people who have met Mike and are no longer friends with him.

Both Lily and Joey play in that game, as well as a few others we've met after our whole run in with him. Its kind of funny, I was telling someone about Mike, without using his name, and someone who was sitting near me in the restaurant said: "Wait, do you mean Mike from XXX? That guys a fucking asshole."

>>21853830
what are you a gypsy that police acts that way ?

>>21853842
smelly dragon BRO

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>>21853842
Slutty Rainbow Dranei Cult sounds like a magical adventure if ever I saw one.

>>21853842
Shinobi and Friends sounds fun, but I must admit Slutty Rainbow Dranei Cult also sounds intriguing.

>>21853687
>>21853284
I really can't take these feels this early /tg/

>>21853845
Can you give us the general area/state he's from as a warning to fa/tg/uys? Does he even own the store still?

>>21853842
Oh god, all of these sound hilariously awful. Let's make it simply and go top to bottom! Shinobi & Friends!

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>>21853870
>>21853870
>>21853870
>>21853870
>>21853870
>>21853870
>>21853870
this OP,

This thread was lifechanging, OP you should write novels

>>21853842
All of those sound good. Or possibly horrible.

>>21853870
>>21853887

I'll give you a general area if you promise not to try and find him. Southeast US.

Yes. This whole thing happened this summer, the latest being around September. I haven't been inside the store since, but I still drive by it every so often.

>>21853927
>>21853927
so do you just order your shit online now?

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>>21853927
Any chance at all of more specifics in terms of location?

Please?

I live on another continent and just want the knowledge for context.

>>21853860
>>21853861
All right you sick, sick bastards Time for godawful Dranei time.

So back in the day I played WoW. I will take a moment to let all the laughing end.

...yeah, yeah, I was an ignorant fellow who had never really been into video games. But I enjoyed tabletop RPGs and I was delighted to hear WoW had servers just for RPers! Oh boy, a world populated by creative, fun-loving individuals like myself? Having adventures and playing interesting characters?

Oh how naive I was at that age. I was unprepared for the horrors I would witness.

So I gave WoW a free trial, then found a used, unopened copy at a thrift store. Thus, my fate was sealed. For 8 months I played. This was a few moths before the WotLK expansion, FYI.

So I created a troll shaman and was having a blast. People were friendly and helpful, and only one person had been a creeper, really. But... something was missing. Roleplay! So I decided to check out the server's RP guilds and selected one. It was mostly Blood Elves, and that should have been my first warning.

What does this have to do with Dranei? You shall see.

>>21853962
I quit magic cold turkey, and I already own the Pathfinder books I need. Also I got in on that Reaper Kickstarted deal a couple months back, so come March I'll have all the minis my little fa/tg/uy heart can handle.

>>21853969
Your context would possibly be too much for others to figure it out. Like I said, I'm protecting some friends here. If it was just Mike, I'd say here you go, nuke him from orbit, but I'm afraid the fallout might hit some people who don't deserve it.

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>>21853978
>WoW RP
This can't go well at all.

>>21853978
So the Guild was mostly female PCs. The elder players had fluffed it as some private magical academy, and they decided my Shaman character was there to learn under their Orc Shaman. She was an excellent roleplayer, but was almost never online. And even then, she seemed distant from the guild and didn't really participate in their RP scenes.

For about a month and a half things went well. I hit 60, and the guild leaders helped me blaze through Outlands like a champ. Gold, equipment, even a Raid into Molten Core. I was having so much fun! These people were always in character, and they always had things going on and new plot threads popping up. Golly gosh, what fun!

So by now my character is really starting to get involved in the goings-on of this small magical academy. Internal politics, Alliance spys, all of it was going on and, for a time, all was good. But then one of the elder players made an Undead alt. With a nearly-identical name to her main. Then she drew all of us into this overwrought, HOW TRAGIC plot about her character dying and somehow becoming Undead. She was so depressed, and her wife was utterly distraught. My character worked her ass off, trying to find a cure.

Now WotLK was about to be released, so you can guess where this was going. She was setting up yet ANOTHER alt to be her new main: a Blood Elf Death Knight with a HOW TRAGIC past. All other plots ground to a halt. My training? I wound up having to PUG through dungeons. The Tauren Druid? Left and no one even batted an eye, even though she was a pro healer. Other Blood Elf shenanigans? Who cares! One character is a Super Special undead, soon-to-be Death Knight.

Hmmm southeast US with a single gamestore, three highschools, a grad school, community college, and a magic fnm location that should show up on the wizards locator.
I might have just enough information to find this guy.

>>21853497
metagame as fuck

>>21854097
Maybe, but I'd hope you'll respect the people who might be hurt if you posted it online and kept it to yourself. I think I've left enough clues though if you were really intent on finding him.

>>21854117
Sure thing. More of an exercise in data trawling. Haven't properly tracked down a mark on the Internet in awhile. Its practically a traditional game really.

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I saw this on reddit's /r/rpg, but that's not too bad since /r/rpg is pretty much 80% /tg/ anyways.

>>21854081
By the time WotLK released, I was getting sick of this single plot dominating all of my time. I waited and waited for the senior Shamaness to take me on my final vision quest but she just poofed. No one in the guild was particularly worried about anything but trying to reunite the tragic warrior with her stunningly beautiful and kind Priest wife. Who is a Blood Elf, by the way. (I had missed their wedding. In retrospect, I am glad I did.)

Anyways, I made an Alliance alt and began to have fun leveling there. I mentioned this to the guild leader in an OOC chat. I was genuinely worried she would kick me out of the guild for this. She was that kind of controlling, dominating personality.

But no. In fact, she was quite delighted: "oooh ya know I've always wanted to play a Dranei..."

"Yup," I replied, "I like their aesthetic and even their fucked up lore, lol."

"Wanna make an alt with me right now?"

There was nothing else going on, and it was well past midnight in my time zone.

"Eh sure, why not? I've always wanted to make a Priest."

"YAAAAY!" She replied, "Oh! We should make up a shared history! We could be related or something. ;)"

"Sure, sounds good," I replied.

Now, in the depths of my psyche that little ;) emote had set off a tiny alarm bell. Really, I should have listened to it...

>>21854153
Yea, I posted on both at the same time. I am a huge fan of sup/tg, and realized half way through writing there that I actually had a story that maybe /tg/ might like, so I started posting in both places at the same time.

Generally I made the /tg/ posts and then updated reddit.

:b

>>21854160
So she made a Dranei warrior and I made a Dranei priest. We were going to have our characters be cousins, but by happenstance they looked very much alike. Thus, she suggested; "well we could just be sisters, then."

"Siblings working as a team! Like the Wonder Twins! :P" I replied.

She let out a /giggle and continued to level with me.

Now, studious readers might have noticed her main character -the leader of this magical academy- was a lesbian. Gay/bi characters just sort of happen in online role-play, and I really don't care. As long as someone is a good RPer I am not going to judge them. And besides, IC they acted pretty much like a typical married couple, sometimes with humorous results.

Now, for those who know WoW are probably familiar with the Dranei starting area, and how the island has a river running though it. We sat down, IC, and took a break. We chatted and planned out Journey to the Exodar, but it being so late we got lazy and began to chat about OOC stuff. This is in whispers, by the way. I mentioned one of my friends being a phone sex operator -it was part of a joke- and this gal lit up. Asked a ton of questions, mostly wondering what kind of weird, sick shit people has asked my friend to do. Now she doesn't tell me much about her line of work, so I had to admit ignorance.

Then, this guild leader of mine asks me a question I will never forget:

"How do you feel about Rainbow play?"

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>>21853565
This is... interesting. Are you a troll or Mike?

Because if you're a troll kudos to you in keeping to that bizarre drunken typing style. I can see you have a lot of dedication. You've even added in little extra details (implying Mike is jewish and may have a victim complex about it) to boost your authenticity and stir up the thread.

You've got a great and glorious future in trolling, but I think you'd be better off in /b/. Plenty more opportunities there. All you're doing is messing up a thread. True /tg/ trolling is as funny as it is enraging.

>>21853927
Shit, It's in North Carolina isn't it?

>>21854251
Nope, sorry Reck.

>>21854187
Yeah, I'm glad to see that /tg/ gets along with its small reddit counterpart nicely. Most boards express hateful loathing toward anything reddit at all.

>>21854224
Now this being 4chan I assume most of you are at least familiar with common kinks out there: foot fetish, female domination, furries, etc.

Now... "Rainbow play" is a euphemism for involving vomit in sexual play. Roman showers. Puking on each other. Really out-there stuff. Also, not remotely my cup of tea.

I'll let that sink in for a moment.

At the time I had not yet found 4chan so I was blissfully unaware such a thing even existed. I did -and do- consider myself an LGBT ally and so ignorantly assumed she meant roleplaying scenes and plots that involved LGBT characters.

"I have no problem with it," I said. "I'm not a bigot."

She was momentarily confused, and asked me to explain my use of the word "bigot." Now I was confused as well. What did she mean? Of course, she was thankful for me mentioning I was cool with gay people and stuff, but oh... my guild mistress had to educate me.

"Let me show you," she said.

"In character?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's weird but tons of fun for me. ^_^;"

By now alarm bells are going off again. Something is being hidden from me. I feel it in my gut.

Suddenly, her character runs her hand up my charater's thighs. Her sister's thighs.

Oh shit, I think. Does she mean to...

The sudden kiss solidified it in my mind. Yup, she's an ERPer.

>>21854311
>"Rainbow play" is a euphemism for involving vomit in sexual play.

I didn't know that when I voted for this story. But then again, I didn't know what a Dranei was, either.

>>21854311
>Now... "Rainbow play" is a euphemism for involving vomit in sexual play. Roman showers. Puking on each other. Really out-there stuff. Also, not remotely my cup of tea.
...What the hell does that have to do with rainbows?

>>21854362
Maybe the person who coined it ate some really fucked up shit?

I think it's a bad euphemism. At least with "scat", it gives you an idea that it's not good.

>enter That Guy thread
>read some great stories
>scroll down
>Lesbian Dranei Incest Vomit Play story

Today just gets better and better.

>>21854362
Some people vomit different colors.

>>21854362
Yeah. I thought it involved scat, golden showers, semen, and menses all used at once.
I'm kind of relieved

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>>21854311
>vomit in sexual play
>sudden kiss
I can see where this is going and I don't like it.

>>21854380

>Every bodyfluid known to man are my toys, and you are my playground!

>>21854387
I too can see where this is going and I love it.

>>21854311
I sit there at my keyboard, stunned. The leader of my guild is emoting these long, detailed posts. She is making her character make out with her sister. After a few posts she goaded me to have my newly-minted Priest emote something back. I didn't want to. I really, really didn't want to. But dammit, so much of my stuff was in the Guild vault. I was going to Raid with them again! I didn't want to lose my friends by being kicked out of the guild by this controlling guild mistress! (And yes, she made us use that title. Another warning sign I ignored thanks to my ignorance.)

No. I wasn't going to spend my time in a game I PAID for monthly to satisfy someone else's need to have cyber sex. So my inner troll came out. I had my character act in shock and confusion. She squirmed and tried to get away from her suddenly-lusty sister.

"Oooh, I like it! ;)" she whispered out of character.

Fuck it, I thought. This is too weird. I hit the logout key, but because I was in the open I would have to wait. Wait long enough to see her final pose:

"XXXXXX grabs her sister by the hair and shoves a finger down her throat. 'Come on, dear sister,' I want to see you make a shiny rainbow mess of yourself.' XXXXX's eyes gleamed with lusty delight, her other hand groping the younger Dranei's ass and tail."

...

I was unable to move, to think. What in the holy hell had I just witnessed? I felt unclean. Violated. I couldn't dare look at my Dranei Priest standing on the login screen, and so I promptly deleted her.

At the time I had not smoked weed in over a year. But fuck it, I needed to calm down right now. So I walked through the bitterly cold night air down the block to my stoner friend and drowned my horror in cannabis.

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>>21854362
this

>>21854395
Fuckin' Quoting.

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>>21854311
>rainbow play

mfw

Thread over all ready?

>>21854421
I didn't log on for two days. I wasn't sure what to do! In retrospect, I should have immediately reported her. She was very much violating the TOS and deserved to have Blizzard's wrath come down upon her. But alas I took the coward's route: I quietly quit the guild, put her and all her alts on /ignore and played Alliance for a while.

But by now the spark was gone. Every time I saw a Dranei I thought of her and felt disgusted. I quit WoW less than a month later, and part of me feels guilty for letting her drive me away from a game I had enjoyed. But it was just not fun for me anymore. Before I quit though I found out the guild soon dissolved after this. Apparently the guild mistress tried to seduce -in character- an acquaintance of mine. He was a guy IRL playing a female Tauren and lead her on for days. Eventually her wife -in-game wife, that is- had a massive fuckfit both IRL and in-game. She was the second-in-command of the guild, so it pretty much exploded and died after that.

So, now we come to our coda, our epilogue:

I was at a convention about two years ago, sitting in the hotel bar with some friends and folks we had met at the con. One girl was clearly a huge WoW fan and cornered me after she found out I and some of my other friends had played/were playing. She often gushed about her girlfriend "in Washington" and this conversation was no different.

>>21854548

Now, like some nerds this girl did not understand rules of public fuckin' decency. So she went into intimate detail about this new Guild her girlfriend had made: it was an all-female, Alliance-only guild. Where all of the new members had to swear submission to an "please" the Guild Mistress. I felt my gut churn. What... what was her girlfriend's name again? Oh, this drunken weirdo girl always called her by her in-game name. They very same name of my old Guild Mistress.

I nearly dropped my drink and excused myself minutes later. But not before saving one of my lady friends who was being hit on by this drunk weirdo girl.

I never told my friend quite WHY this wierdo drunken girl was massively, dangerously crazy in my mind.

>>21854362
"Technicolor rainbow" is a euphemism for vomit.

>>21854561
All right folks, I need to take a break and get some goddamn food. Hope you enjoyed. Next up...

Shinobi and Friends, or The Smelly Dragon?

>>21854578
Let's go in order, I guess.

>>21854578

I WAS EATING YOU FUCK

>>21854578
Shinobi and friends.

And I just want to say, good god I am so sorry this happened to you.

>>21854598
I second both points.

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>>21854578
I wanta to see a shamefur dispray. Shinobi & Friendsu.

>>21854598
It's all right man. I'm... okay.

Alas! My roomies are demanding I go out to eat. Do y'all think this thread will be around in an hour or so?

>>21854670
probably. /tg. tends to be one of the slower boards

>>21854670
probebly

Great. I was going to sleep, but now I have to keep an eye on this thread for the next few hours.

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bump for this glorious thread

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>>21852365
To be fair, as much of a slag eating ball monkey as Mike sounds, the arcane bloodline is the default sorcerer

>>21854097
Um... OP. This isn't by any chance in, uh, say, Georgia?

>>21854874
:OO
Shit I have an uncle in Georgia named Mike.

>>21854912
is he a self-proclaimed "cool guy" with a 20-something year old girlfriend? Because I have some bad new for you if he is

>>21853162
Bleach is mostly water, and people are mostly water, so therefore you are bleach

>>21854957

His girl friend sounds like a real dumb sack of shit. That or he drugs her every day since she arrived when she was 15.

>>21854957
I've never met him, all I know is that my dad and him fucking despise each other.
;_;

>>21854966
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwxl_-DHqKo

>>21854670
We'll bump for you, man.

>>21852614
Baby steps.

Most GM's start by writing fanwank, anyways.

bump

Fortunately I've never had a That Guy as such. 3 people came close but never really had the stuff for a That Guy since you need to be a total asshole out of the game too usually. These were good, decent people but put them in a roleplaying environment and you get.... less-than-satisfactory results.

One guy constantly makes lame jokes 24/7 and takes any alignment at face value. He always plays Chaotic or Neutral characters and uses that as an excuse to play dark and edgy characters who are decent guys but have no sense of right and wrong and think torture, killing and stealing randomly "is part of the character". He has his damn good moments though and he's dependable otherwise.

The second guy genuinely believes he can see auras and has mystical powers and uses his ADHD and Dyslexia as excuses for anything. He tends to play shit like "Elf raised by monkeys in forest" and plays them as the obnoxious motherfuckers ever. He's also really loud and butts in every conversation.

The third is the sparkleprincess. She's a good hearted woman out of game but in game she plays shit like "Exceptionally beautiful elven princess that rides magical ponies and shits rainbows". you'd expect her to be a hambeast but she's actually a fucking 8/10 at the worst of times, which somehow makes it worse. She plays when her boyfriend/soon-to-be husband DMs and causes a massive game-stopping argument every single session. They've broken up and gotten back together several times, I and my best mate end up going to their place to play but end up being psychologists instead and generally NO-FUN was had by all.

Still, not quite That Guy material but came damn close at some points.

>>21853029
4chan is destroying the attention span of humanity with greentext. Wonderful.

>>21855267
I remember years ago on r9k some guy came to pour his heart out with the typical sob story.

First response was "holy shit learn to greentext"

I still find it funny

>>21855321
Kinda wish I saw that

>>21855267
>>21855321
>>21855345
It's a damn shame.

When I tell stories to /tg/, I refuse to green text. I'm a literate college student, I write papers all the time. These faggots can handle a paragraph or two.

Polite sage for offtopic rant.

>>21853555
I got dew-eyed.
Bad feels, man. Bad feels.

>>21855568
>>21855405
>>21855345

b-b-bump

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>>21852264
>That's right, not only is Mike a giant asshole, but he basically controls the supply for gaming in this town

?

Mike is an old guy and he knows best. I'm pretty sure this is just from your silly childish perspective.
So far the guy seems pretty cool, just a bit propense to getting mad, but that's not a crime.

>>21855830
>just a bit propense to getting mad, but that's not a crime
He emptied someones fridge and ran for it because she didn't hang out with his son. Sounds like like a blast to hang around.

>>21855830

If you think he's pretty cool, you're probably a douchebag.

>>21855847
Also flipped a table after losing a children's card game. Sound like a great guy.