POSTING IN /TG/

When my girlfriends sat me down to tell me she was pregnant, and then I told her that I'd had a vasectomy.

>>14909437

this. I honestly have no idea why I keep coming back here.

>>14909438

Please tell me you have that copy-pasta I do love it so, tis older than the hills

Bovine Dung Shoveling: The RPG.

DMPC taking over the entire game, we were just his sidekicks.

As a GM, the my player's bullied a ship's medicae out of several thousand thrones worth of illegal drugs. I thoughts they would give it back.
>Nope.jpg
now they are angling to make a drug empire.

How much the inquisition will try to kill them I don't know yet but I think I can stall them by throwing enough combat at them while I figure out how the hell this will work.

>>14909494
I remember that thread from the other day. Any developments?

>>14909490
It's hard for some DMs to make a character that isn't either the leading force of the story or a background character that participates in battle.

>>14909513
No, the story was about his character. All of it.

all the GURPS hate on /tg/ during summer. If you're going to criticize a system, at least try playing it first.

>>14909516
its just like all the FATAL hate :\

>>14909516
I always wondered about that...

We encountered the some sort of chronomancer, who was presumably the BBEG. Then the DMPC half-dragon half-I-don't-even-remember Gary Stu flew down and activated his steampunk chronomancy-cyberware and did like 20 actions in one turn which the DM insisted on rolling attacks and damages for. The BBEG teleported away wounded and the Gary Stu tried to hit on the one female player's character.

You can't make something this bad up folks. To this day I never worry about being a terrible GM because I know I'll never top that GM.

I played a game with a DM who made us dungeon crawl, with premade characters, and we weren't allowed to RP. AT ALL. I left after the first fight.

>>14909540
Except unlike GURPS, FATAL is completely terrible in every way.

>>14909509
I don't remember that thread...
Shit, I was sampling product.
anyway, the last session led to everyone getting a notable amount of capital on account of almost dieing. But before they could get payed a guardsmen in the group fired a rocket at the psyker because of a bad perils roll. then the assassin nearly killed himself by jumping AT the car the psyker was in. I decided that this was not a good time for a TPK and made the inquisitor they were working for show up and stupid DMPC solve everything because there was a good chance the adept and assassin would if the fighting continued.

Aforementioned psyker who botched the perils roll tried to TOUCH OF MADNESS the inquisitor. I told him to burn a fate point or die. He was then told the inquisitor was in a really forgiving mood and just took one of his arms off. Not understanding this was meant to be a punishment for the bullshit he proceeded to buy regenerate and re-grow the fucking arm.

Now they are going into a sewer full of gene-stealers. I have them under the impression there is a tank if they bring back the corpse of a genestealer. If they do, I am going to quit GMing forever.

Did I mention one of them bought a leman russ kit expecting the tank?


Is this complete bullshit or what?

You know those horror stories about the DM bringing his girlfriend and she blows him under the table for extra stuff in the game?

That seriously happens.

>I was the DM. I didn't give her a god damn gold piece extra. There's something magical about being the only person in the room that's having fun.

>>14909627
wow, that is an amazing skill. receiving head AND running a half assed game.

>>14909438
Lol what a bitch.

>>14909643
It was during the lunch break, not during the game. Which just made everyone even less comfortable.

I have this friend, or this thing that's like a friend, and a while back she nearly beat the shit out of one of my group members over an off-hand comment. I had to pin her against the wall before she calmed down, and she still bit and scratched me.

After that everyone gave ME the weird looks for the rest of the night, even though I made her swear to never do it again and apologize with her head bowed. Not to mention that after that she swiped all my food and drink and the guys ignored me out of character

>>14909627
>>14909657
Not cool.

>>14909716

The rest of your group consists of anal-pained white knights that are shocked that you'd lay a hand on a woman, even if said woman is being a frenzied cunt.

>>14909755
Maybe. It'd be news to me since they've seen us beat each other up before (we're old friends, we can abuse each other if we want). Even after the session, they gave me the stink-eye for three weeks and refused to be in a room alone with her.

>>14909754
It was very not cool. Don't worry, I know it was a douche bag thing for me to do.

I hated that entire gaming group. They were a bunch of unoriginal faggots who where there to roll dice, bitch about numbers, and try to "out DPS" the other guys.

It was a good way to end the game.

>>14909820
Be an adult you faggot.

>>14909716
Is this the girl with the seriously VIOLENTLY prudish attitude?

And she goes after your blood?
Because I think I have heard of you before.
You talked about her on /a/ and they kept insisting you try to make a move.
One of the other guys she beat up made a thread here once worried for his safety.

I once gamed through a 6 hour long Dark Heresy game. not only was I tired of the NPC's being too confident for their own sake, but I went through 2 characters in one night.
The second death? We were going to kill a rival inquisitor who was onto our inquisitors shit (he was pretty renegade), and it all went to hell. enforcers came and we eventually flipped our car. Picture an enforcer standing over my unconscious body, telling the wounded but angry acolytes to stand down, looking back at me, taking a moment to think, and then pumping me full of led. Shooting an unconscious perhaps-even-dead guy in the back.

Through stupid turns of events we got into the enforcer vehicle and charged after the inquisitor: I was unconscious and in the passanger seat. We didn't need to charge the inquisitor with the two heavy bolters strapped to the top of the thing, but apparently our driver didn't care. An enforcer threw a firebomb as we passed by, and I slowly burned to death.

Didn't help that earlier my inquisitor (or the DM) was berating me for trying to talk when I was the only one trying not to fuck and, and trying not to be a giant asshole.

I can't play Dark Heresy anymore.

>>14909849
I didn't realize people were following my posts. Yeah, the one and the same. Did the guy really complain?

>>14909890

Oh I remember that now. Yeah he did.

>>14909890
Yeah we talked him down, he seemed cool about it.

She's got real issues man, needs help pretty bad.

>>14909907
Well, shit. I didn't think he took it that bad. It's not like he got hurt.

>>14909876
Bah, can't even write intelligibly. That game was such bullshit.

>>14909920
>She's got real issues man, needs help pretty bad.
You don't know the half of it. We recently tried to let a new girl into the group and she scared the poor thing off just by looking at her. We had to get her to look the other way before the new girl could come into the room.

>>14909924
Don't worry he was just a little freaked out.

He calmed down, talked it out, was a pretty cool thread overall.

She grow up in some Fundie household to get her so conditioned to hate the simple implication of sexuality?

Ah ha ha ha ha

Man, if there's one thing these threads do for me it's put everything about my whole gaming experience in perspective.

Worst fight over a table top war game? Line of sight disputes.

Worst experience in an RPG? DMs little brother was an annoying kender player. (Still not on the level of most THAT GUYS and it wasn't his fault he was young and annoying)

Man, sucks to be you guys.

>>14909953
Get.Her.Help.

I mean it man, she needs it. BAD.

>>14909986

I think he would if he knew how.

>>14909966
Roman Catholic household, same as me. As far as I can tell, her upbringing wasn't that bad. Not to mention her older sister is as sexually liberated (and incredibly annoying if you ask me) as they come, and she's my friend's idol. Her family doesn't seem to have a problem with it either.

>>14910013

Maybe she was raped.

>>14910013
That's kinda freaky.

>>14910021
I've been watching over her since we were children. As far as I know, she's always been vicious and a little anti-social. Just seems to be in her nature.

>>14910005
Horse traqs.
Tons of them.

>>14910043

Well, I know this may sound rude but, maybe she's just a bitch? Some people don't need a Freudian excuse or mental condition to be genuinely abrasive and mean spirited.

>>14910022
Maybe a little. She doesn't flip out when her sister makes implications. Or rather, her sister doesn't make implications but instead flat out says things like "If you rape her, she will cum" right in front of us. It only gets a cutting remark from my friend when she does it.

I'm inclined to think that she really doesn't like men at all, and thus doesn't take what they have to say well. Again, she might also be that damn mean.

>>14910053
>Drag a Tranq'd adult into a shrink's office without a bunch of court papers and you go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

>>14910074
Why even put up with her then? It sounds way more trouble than it's worth.

>>14909516

A lot of the GURPS hate comes from the fact GURPS fans and GURPS players seem to be the most stuck-up and snobby players outside of 2e DnD purists. I literally went into a group of GURPS players and spent the whole time trying to pitch to them cool games I found online like MaOCT and Cartoon Action hour and all they could talk about was how GURPS was awesome and all the awesome things GURPS could do and how you could play it.

I have no problem with people who like things, but the moment your preference in gaming is preventing you from looking into other viable games then I don't wanna have anything to do with you, to be frank.

>>14910067
Yeah, she's probably just a bitch, in all honesty. That's life, though, eh? She's still a good friend to me, and I guess that's good enough.

>>14910094
Well, I think she's interesting, not to mention we share all the same tastes. Plus, if I didn't put up with her, nobody would. Or even worse, if I didn't put up with her the wrong people would instead.

Also, she makes breakfast these days, and that's enough to satisfy me.

>>14910104

You know what you need? Intervention!

INTERVENTION!

WE GOT YOU BITCH! INTERVENTION!

INTERVENTION!

I have some pamphlets on trap making if you want them.

>>14910130
Have you considered she just wants you to seduce her? Maybe this is her feral, insanity fueled way of trying to get into your dungeon cloak.

>>14910140
...which kind of trap making?

>>14910147

I think that was /a/'s advice. I'm not sure how solid their advice is.

>>14910147
Trust me that possibility was gone over so many times in the other thread.

>>14910140
What's the intervention for?

>>14910147
Many people have implied that. I would say you'd be incorrect. This woman isn't made like that. If I wasn't sure of her humanity, I'd say she's like the Tarassque, and doesn't reproduce or die---but rather returns to the center of the earth periodically to sleep before resurfacing to terrorize the world

>>14909438
1 in about 2000 vasectomies actually fail, and leave the man still able to impregnate the ladies.

>>14910158
I don't know about /a/ or how solid of advice it is, but it could be interesting.

>>14910158
Well, how does she treat her other male friends compared to you?
Has she ever expressed interest in women?

Might be asexual too

The most bullshit thing I have ever seen is Mr.Krabs wearing two hats, that fucking powergamer.

Fuck couples. I attended the shadow over duapon or whatever event, and I got thrown in a group with this awkward bitch who's never played 4e, a shitty dm, and a fucking couple who just made out the whole time. It was like the dude was playing for two people. Whenever it was her turn, he grabbed her sheet and told her what to do. Then they'd cuddle and makeout.

I'm all for couples playing dnd together. Just teach the bitch how to play the night before or something. Go to a practice session. I don't know.

Game took waaay longer than it had to.

>>14909516

what do you mean "during summer?"

/tg/ has always had a hate-boner for GURPS. the whole "gurps love every thread all day everyday" business of late is quite recent.

indeed I'm starting to dislike gurps just because of how often it is brought up like this.

>>14910147
Or maybe she's actually mentally ill. There's a hell of enough things that can make people act like bitches at the drop of a hat...

rolled 5, 6 = 11

>>14910090
BUT I CAN ESCAPE IF I ROLL DOUBLES!

>>14910222
Close but no cigar.

>>14910190
>Well, how does she treat her other male friends compared to you?
She doesn't really have other male friends. She has the gaming group, but she doesn't do social things with them outside of playing the game.

She tends to beat up any other men who try to get too friendly with her.

>Has she ever expressed interest in women?
No. She's kind of on edge around other women, but rarely becomes violent with them. Sometimes, though, she has passive aggressive accidents. The only other women she respects are our family members (and she really doesn't get along well with my sister).

>Might be asexual too
Might be. If I had to guess I'd guess that. Then again, she really likes romance stories, so you never know.

>>14910248
I have thrown a handful of fair maidens down on their character sheets, this girl is hankering for a good dicking. She just wants you to make the first move.

>>14910248

You can like the concept of romance but still be asexual. I suppose. I dunno. I'm not asexual so I can't say.

>>14910248
Ah well, invite her out to the occasional movie or shopping

Doesn't have the word date, can be construed as friendly / everyone else was busy, and can be used to get a feel for the relationship

>>14910267
Please. She's a Bitch Elemental. She doesn't have those kinds of feelings. I believe she is fundamentally incapable of tenderness.

>>14910277
We already do, and always have done those sorts of things together. We're close friends, so there's little we haven't already done together.

>>14910248
This is a stretch... But what can you tell us about her character?

>>14909450
If you're still here dude, delivar'd

>>14910311
Which one? One of the two D&D ones, the nWoD one, the L5R one, or the AdEva one?

>>14910305
Then fall asleep on her at a movie

It'll give you an indication of comfort level

(Ideally she'd fall asleep on your shoulder, but it's harder for you to pretend her into doing that than for you to pretend yourself)

Or you could just kiss her, but I'm a bit of a whore I'm told

Different guy here, SERIOUSLY, fucking look at this shit:
- Gaming group are her only male friends
- She is aggressive to all females EXCEPT the ones that there is no chance of the men in the gaming group hooking up with.
- Extremely aggressive to a new girl in the group
- She likes romance stories

I mean, I accept that sometimes things are exactly as they are on the surface, but pretty much every nuance I'm seeing here is pointing at "She wants to fuck", with SOMEONE in the group at least, though not necessarily you.

>>14910339
The first one she created.

>>14910343
Us sleeping together is nothing new. We've been friends since we were 10, so we've obviously shared a bed or each other's shoulders or laps before.

Not going to put my lips where she'll bite them off.

>>14910354
Someone in the group, huh? That's too bizarre. Especially since two of them are gay.

>>14910366
The first one EVER? That would be a bog standard 2e cleric without a name.

If you mean the first one that she put effort into, it was another Cleric. A neutral good Cleric of Pelor who punished evil and ran an orphanage between adventures.

Haha, Bitch Elemental

That's a good one.

So was the Terrasque comparison.

>>14910412
Yeah, she wants to fuck. I can feel it.

>>14910421
Neutral Good Clerics of Pelor are a sexual innuendo? First I've heard of such a thing.

Crossdressing troll with lipstick that would magically stick on your character for days and had to do an impossible save to avoid getting kissed. Every inn we show up at being named the Dew Drop Inn because the chain is buying up every GOD DAMN INN in the world. DMPCs that are lolrandom, named stupid names like "Tu'b Tossed, Tu'c Thrown, ect." that are always Chaotic Stupid and Rogues or Ninjas and always elves.

I'm trying to show him how not to be a "That GM", but sometimes it feels like I'm bashing my head into a wall. About switching groups? He is related, so that option is out. Gonna take over DMing for a bit and hope what I do rubs off on him.

Pic related... what I turn to after a game.

>>14910380
Sharing a friend with a friend of the opposite gender you met just a bit before puberty?
Repeatedly?
Thoughtout even puberty?
With her/you continuously using the other's crotch (or maybe closer to knee) as a pillow?

And none of those behaviours ever struck you as "too comfortable"?


Then again, might be dismissed due to general crazy, I'm only working off what you're saying

>>14910442
enjoy shit coloured water that they pass off as as bourbon?

>>14910448
It never struck me as odd. I thought that's what friends did.

>>14910440
Of course. Let me dissect it for you.

Neutral - A switch, because they're neutral about being top or bottom.

Good - Good to go, self explanitory.

Cleric - Helps others, like helping you with your pants.

Pelor - The slut god of whores.

>>14910461
Might depend on culture, but in general, no, not after 11

Reading the Exalted forums, circa 2009 to present.

>>14910470
Reaching a bit, I think

>>14910478
>>14910461
>>14910448

It depends entirely on the social group. I know people who are completely casual about just draping themselves over each other on the couch, nothing sexual about it.

>>14910470
And I assume Lawful Good Paladins are a euphemism too.

>>14910478
Eh. I never thought much of it. She was kind of hard to persuade at first, but after a while she stopped worrying about it too. I guess I thought she was just unfriendly.

>>14910478
>>14910461
>>14910448
>Sharing a BED with a friend of the opposite gender you met just a bit before puberty?
Repeatedly?

I derped, might've caused misunderstanding, sorry

>>14910457
It washes the taste of the game out of my mouth and does a decent brain bleach job.

>>14910492
No, I think we got you.

>>14910489
So what are you gonna do? I think you should go for it.

>>14910538
I think 4chan shouldn't be used for relationship advice.

>>14910492

Hint: Be romantic, but don't be too overt.. make a move. Just don't move too quickly. I now it sounds like an oxymoron, but ... show some courage.

My ex was a lot like that even before we hooked up, she couldn't stand me saying hello or being in the same room with another young woman, when I turned away from her once she grabbed me and kept me. After we hooked, speaking to another woman even online was absolute heresy, but the more you focus on the prize, the more she will reciprocate some feelings. Go for it, just don't be pushy.

For me it was a good four years, plenty of romance, but I am not sure if the control she held over me was good or bad. We're still good friends as well, and I grew from it.

>>14910470
Best interpretation ever

>>14910584
You linked to the wrong post kiddo

>>14910610

it's fine, was just talking to him in general. I'm sure he gets the point. That and I'm multitasking.

>>14910584
I don't think I like the sound of that. Even as we are, the girl bites me till I bleed and swallows the blood. I'd hate to imagine what it would be like if she had even stronger feelings.

Anyway, I'm still pretty sure that she's just devoid of girlishness and warm feelings, so I'm going to pass on sticking my neck out due to the advice from 4chan.

>>14910633
Wear a turtle neck and unzip your pants, give her something else to swallow

Sageing for my own lameness

>>14910652
That was truly awful.

>>14910633

Good point then. Mine wasn't -that- destructive...

but that still sounds like.. some kind of extreme way of showing affection, or downright sinister obsession, My ex had other ways... one of which is highly embarassing.

Anyway, I was giving my two cents on the matter. as I would personally pursue the relationship myself.

>>14910633
>>14910652

>the girl bites me till I bleed and swallows the blood.
>Allowing THAT anywhere near your mangiblets

>>14910671

>My ex had other ways... one of which is highly embarassing.

Well now you HAVE to tell us. It's fucking anonymous anyway!

>>14910689

She forcefully snowballed me.

>>14910671
I'm not too keen on the pseudo-vampirism, and it already sends chills down my spine when I feel her teeth edging closer and closer to my carotid each time she manages to break the skin.

I'm not sure I want to give her anything else vital to snap at.

>>14910710

offer her ass sum gum, that'll shut up her up

>>14910705
Gross.

>>14910710
Next time it happens, and from the way you seem used to it, it will happen again, let go a moan of pleasure, just to see her reaction

>>14910705

>>14910705
...in public?

>>14910733
I sound calm over the internet, but having my neck torn into makes me shout obscenities in pain, and typically results in me throwing her across the room. I couldn't fake one even if I wanted to.

>>14910733
Guys I'm pretty fuckin' sure that he doesn't want to try and romance this woman. I think we should switch gears here.

She needs assistance of some kind. Not dickings. How can we help with this?

>>14910705

I wiki'd.

Then I laughed.

>>14910754

Well it's either dickings or an exorcism.

>>14910744

Thankfully no. It was... an experience... that I do not wish to repeat.

>>14910749
It's your life, you know best how you want to live it. And you do sound calmer about the biting online

>>14910771
She doesn't need an exorcism, that's for sure. This girl more pure than the Holy Mother. If anything, I'm a bad influence on her.

Still, we've tried to get her into some anger management and therapy, but she always jumps ship.

>>14910772
I thought every girl did that.

>>14910789

being the man who posted Kneesocks. Just fuck her.

Hard, and if you pop one... slap on a condom and stick it back in, do it until your leg cramps, or be forever the target of her bites.

they might just stop you know, but you can't be sure.

>>14910814
... Why is the solution to everything dickings?

You can't just fuck someone sane. It'd be cool if you could though

>>14910584
>My ex was a lot like that even before we hooked up

Something tells me you're rather new to this guy and his life

Let me fill you in: the woman he associates with is some sort of feral she-beast who feasts on his flesh. This is not an exaggeration. From the thread on /a/, when they get into a fight, she BITES him. HARD. Not the "oh cute love bite" shit, the "MMM DELICIOUS FLESH" STYLE BITE

>>14910825
Hell, I got that from the last thread on /tg/

This is not a problem that can be solved with a dick.

>>14910814
First thing we did when we met was fight. When we fought, she bit me and drank the blood from the wound. I don't think my penis is going to solve this problem. In fact, I'd rather my penis not be involved, and I'm sure he'd rather sit this one out too.

>>14910825

biting is bad....

I have one.

There's a bit of background. About four months ago, a friend of mine, a reliably good DM and general bro, invites me and three bros over for a small Geist group. We blaze through character gen and make a sweet Krewe themed around the four of us. It's badass, but we all get busy with college classes and jobs so we end up putting the game on the backburner for a bit.

Fast-forward to last month. A female friend of mine (she's openly lesbian, this is important) has been introduced to my circle of friends, and my GM has fallen head over heels for her. She says if any of us are having family or living troubles we can move in with her for a bit, so he leaves his family to spend more time (every waking moment) with her. She catches wind of our paused Geist game, and he resurrects it and reassembles us, with her "lost little girl" character in our krewe as a founding member, of course.

cont

>>14910862
We think this is weird, but our female friend is cool so we figure it won't be much of a problem, but our love-blinded GM finds a way to ruin this. Our campaign no longer has anything to do with our four founding characters, in fact, the entire campaign revolves around this little girl. We're all playing serious-business adults, and we generally disregard her, partially because it;s our characters, but mostly because she's a kind of inexperienced roleplayer and is content to just sit back and let us push story while she has her cute moments. That's fine, fun is different for everyone. However, our GM refuses to not let her be the star of the show. Every event is her perspective, she gets roughly two hours of time where the campaign is her character being lead around interacting with NPCs of our GMs creation, asserting to her that she is special and unique and has all the answers and should be loved and listened to and cherished.

When the party meets, we try to do our thing and explore plot hooks, but they all end up being either dry or lead nowhere. In one instance, a member was trying to distribute postings asking for any information about a certain artifact, and once the party had dispersed, the GM specifically had his NPC lead the little girl to these postings, and without real character knowledge of why he'd up them up, tears them down and rags on him for being stupid for doing things his way and not following this special snowflake magical girl.

When our collective turn to play finally come up, he asks:
"Do you guys do anything"
Me: "Well I'm going to investigate this artifact-"
GM: "Okay you do, here's what you find... let's take a break."

tl;dr GM is a bro, makes awesome campaign, falls in love with lesbian girl, makes us all background characters so she can be the campaign star.

>>14910862
>>14910864
Fucking hell. That's horrible. You should kill the girl.

>>14910864

This is around the time I would have forcibly grabbed the man by the shoulders, jabbed a finger in the girl's direction, and shouted into his ears, "SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!"

>>14910890
What no.
It's not the girl here. She's literally not doing anything but existing. It's the GM

>>14910890

>Kill the girl
>Not the hilariously retarded DM who thinks he has a shot with a lesbian.

Being told by the DM that I failed grappling hook throw on a natural 20
FUCK RAILROADING

>guy running away
>Have grapling hook and rope
>OK IM CALLING A SHOT
>I wana hit him in the face with my grapling hook and pull him back to me with it stuck in his face
>DM: Ok, roll a d20, you need to hit a natural 20
>roll : hit natural 20
>DM: you missed
ALL MY RAGE

> Be shut-in with only online games for years
> Go to college primarily to make friends
> Nerds literally take up 1/4 of the caf
hellyeah.jpg
> Yu-gi-oh
> Magic
> Only 2 DnD games, one run by the most cliche hambeast imaginable.
well, I'll just get in on the other, they say the guy's a good DM...
> Elf character gets Manyshot at first level because 'it's a ranged TWF'
> Rogue is elf's lesbian girlfriend, makes tiny halfling rogue with Diplomacy scratched out and 'cuteness' in its place
> Other guy doesn't know how to play, chooses Wizard
> Paladins must follow all the rules 100% of the time because. Let the rogue go off to sneak on her own? FALL. Not even kidding.

Yeah, fuck that.

>>14910902
>>14910903
DM was formerly a bro. You must remove the corrupting element.

>>14910825

Yes, I was in something similar to that sort of relationship, granted she did not bite that hard, and because of that I avoided fights. I got clawed and raked, and verbally assaulted until I went near insane. She had me by the balls is a good way of saying what I was going through in some cases, but: there were silver linings.

Now that I've read farther into it: Yes, this can turn into something terrible, as now I can't tell if it's repression or something more sinister. There may not be any silver linings with this one. My ex wanted attention, and that was all. This girl? I can't tell anymore now that I know she goes for the throat.

>>14910917
It's easier to just talk to the GM and fuckin get his head on straight.

>>14910905

>DM: Ok, roll a d20, you need to hit a natural 20
>roll : hit natural 20
>DM: you missed

This is literally a perfect excuse for table flipping.

>>14910921
I think she's just plain mean and not anything deep or psychological. She can't beat me, though, which keeps her somewhat in line.

Anyway, I can't make heads or tails of her. On the one hand, she asked to move in and has been really helpful, on the other hand, she'll sometimes just stare out a window and comment that it would have been better for both of us if we never met.

All I can conclude is this: She's a great DM, a great RPG player, and the only one who shares my tastes in hobbies and entertainment. That's worth some blood.

>>14910950

>She's a great DM

Well now you've aroused my curiosity. What games has she DMed, and give us a synopsis of a plot or two.

>>14910939
How do you think I felt
I was pissed

>>14910823
>You can't just fuck someone sane. It'd be cool if you could though

Signed. I am a former White Knight, now among the ranks of the cursed, delivered unto my fate through my wrong headed notion that "all this girl needs is someone who really loves her and accepts her".

neveragain.jpg

>>14910950
>she'll sometimes just stare out a window and comment that it would have been better for both of us if we never met.

Because then she wouldn't have fallen for you and clung to you, trying to drive away other girls, she probably would've settled down with some guy instead of being hooked on you

You're such an asshole

>>14910840
Have you tried a good old fashioned spanking?
You know, over the knee. Slowly, firm, but tender.

And then you fuck her.

>>14910967
If the Computer in this picture was the table, it would be a accurate depiction of me

>>14910961
She does D&D primarily. She's a swords and sorcery gal, and while her plots won't surprise you with amazing twists, their delivery always keeps you excited and wanting more. She's got great timing for encounters, good descriptions which catch your attention, and enough challenge to keep you on edge but not make it feel hopeless.

She also did nWoD a couple times. It was legitimately creepy (in the way that nWoD advertises itself as being creepy instead of 'uncomfortable fetishes or topics'). Again, owing to her same strengths.

>>14910991
>>14910994

WE HAVE DETERMINED THAT DICKINGS ARE A NO FLY ZONE. CAN WE STOP PLANNING HOW TO FUCK HER NOW?

>>14910994
I've slammed her against the wall and the ground, if that counts.

>>14910991
I don't think she's thinking that deeply. It's probably just her being mad at me for something I don't remember doing, which makes her say stuff like that.

>>14910950

>it would have been better for both of us if we never met.

hm, that sounds like repression, she wishes to act tough, maybe you make that hard. Anyways, so long as you remain good friends, maybe something will happen. I don't know, I also don't know if I would condone it myself. Anyways, so long as the current situation manages to work out, I guess it's worth it then. Cheers.

>>14910584
>>14910584
>I am not sure if the control she held over me was good or bad

Fuckn' pussy...

It was in a Changeling: The Lost game. My best friend was running it and even he admits this was both dickish and shitty DMing. He didn't really think about it.

Me: I lift up the rubble and rip open the laundry machine!
DM: Great! You guys find the portal!
Player 1: I go in!
Player 2: Me too.
Me: Yeah, same!
DM: Uh, dude?
Me: Yeah?
DM: You can't fit. You're an Ogre.
Me: What do you mean? I ripped open the thing, it should fit my character.
DM: Well, it doesn't.
Me: That's...That's not fair.
DM: Well you can roll for it.
Me: -rolls- One success...
DM: You still don't fit. Okay, so! -goes on this huge thing with Player 1 and Player 2-
TWO. FUCKING. HOURS LATER.
Me: Dude?
DM: Yeah?
Me: ...What the fuck can I do?!
DM: Uh...Fix the car?
Me: ...Fine. -rolls 10 dice, 8 successes-
DM: Well...You fixed the car!
Me: Great.
DM: Meanwhile...-BACK TO FUCKING PLAYER 1 AND PLAYER 2-

Eventually I just declared fuck it and went to go play Munchkin with a few friends.I was the DM's ride, too. I pointed out how much it sucked and he felt really bad...It wasn't really intentional, right?

>>14911013
how big is this bitch?

>>14911035
It's good enough for me, and she makes breakfast nowadays too. Fair trade.

>>14911026

Before I go. My ex and many girls I have talked to taught me something very important.

Girls do think that deeply, and they are vindictive.

>>14911075
Teeny-tiny. I don't have an exact measurement, but if she's anything over five feet tall, I'd be surprised.

>>14911104
Have you tried just talking to her about it?

Ya'know "Hey, stop biting me so much, it fucking hurts"

>>14911113
I have.

Her response: "No."

>>14911125
Then I'm out of suggestions.
Besides biting her back. Works with toddlers.

>>14911104
huh. i was imagining her as a huge hambeast. well best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

>>14911134
I tried it once. She just bit me back even harder, and I don't like to actually HURT her when we fight (I always make sure that I don't bruise her).

>>14910705

I feel bad for you bro, I really, really do, but...

Holy fuck man, that's fucking hilarious.

>>14911125

If you two were in a serious relationship, I'd mark that up as abusive. Even how it is now, I'm pretty sure saying "No, stop" is enough warning for her.

She sounds like an untrained dog, no offense to her. Like a pitbull that's been conditioned, intentionally or not, to attack.

>>14911140
Nope. She's light enough to pick up with one hand if you have the mind to. That said, she is disproportionately strong. Strong enough to knock the shit out of guys much bigger than me in less than than thirty seconds. So, it's not something to be attempted by just anyone.

Anyway, I'll probably just go back to normal life once this is done

>>14911125
Dude, fuck that nine ways from sunday. No means no, bitch, wether for fucking or biting. If she draws blood, you need to draw blood, or she might go for the carotid or jugular at some point. Better she lose a bit of the red rather than you bleed out on the kitchen floor because she got a hankerin for orc style manflesh.

>>14911187
She is like a wild animal, it's not an unfair comparison. Like some sort of she-wolf that just happens to share my apartment. Not much to be done about it. If it isn't me, it'd be someone else and she'd probably be in jail or something.

>>14911208
If she's that small biting the throat would probably be difficult, and it can take as much as ten minutes to bleed out from self-inflicted throat slashes. He'd probably still have time to kill her out of revenge.

>>14911208
Eh. I don't think she'll kill me (who would pay for the apartment?). I don't know. I've gotten used to the idea that she's going to unleash hell on me, and for the most part, it doesn't bother me. That's not to say I just take it--what usually happens is she'll start a fight with me and it ends with me hogtying her or pinning her against something until she takes a breather.

>>14911225

... Are you seriously suggesting that you're doing this because it would make somebody else's life better?

While I admire your... fortitude... There is a POINT. If she was hurting somebody else, they might've already called the police, told somebody who could help, or something similar.

She sounds like she has some dominance issue, if she's always asserting herself like that. I know it's not your responsibility, but it wouldn't hurt anybody (beside your wallet, and maybe her trust) if you got a professional opinion.

>>14911249
We've tried to get her to see some professionals, but she always ditches them. The only times I can get her to go is when we fight and I soundly beat her. After I win a fight, she seems to go along with whatever I say, but even then sometimes she'll just disappear so that she won't have to go.

Again, she's 26 now and pretty set in her ways. I don't think she's gonna have a turnaround.

>>14911248
Get her to psychologist once you end up having to hogtie her again. Or just get her to a psychologist.

Either that or someone's going to end up calling the police during a particularly violent fight.

>>14911280
Have you ever said: "I need a good fuck" while you two were alone?

(Just asking for shits and giggles)

>>14911280

Wait- so you have to literally FORCE her to go? Does she not see a problem in hurting somebody that close to her? That seems... yeah, I'm sticking with the untamed animal idea.

I know a girl somewhat like that (it might just be us being teenagers), but she doesn't understand what "stop" means either. Her problem stems from failed relationships, most of them broken because she became very dependent on the other, and half the time her boyfriend(s) was(were) closet gay.

Did this girl seriously have no romantic relationship during her younger years, besides you? That might be the cause of it- she isn't used to how "adjusted" members of society express affection, or how humans put themselves in a dominant position.

>>14911234
okay guys how did we end up talking about this

>>14911304
this. and why don't we have a pic of her yet?

>>14911318

Helping an elegan/tg/entleman, for the sake of it.

>>14911299
I don't think it's going to end any differently. We shell out some money and she doesn't do anything or make any progress. In fact, she comes back even more sour.

>>14911304
Nah. I don't have much libido. Don't even keep much porn around, and what I have is old and infrequently used. Doesn't stop her from getting disgusted when she finds a stash, though, and acting like I'm some sort of rapist for a day. Based on that behavior, I don't think saying that will go over well.

>>14911322
I'll go out on a limb and say 'because this is an entirely fictional scenario'.

>>14911318
yeah fucking seriously, exchange emails or something, get this thread re-railed.

>>14911316
This girl has had 0 romantic relationships. She's never even liked a guy as far as I can tell. As I've said before, she's more immaculate than the Virgin Mary. Her family is very well adjusted though, so it isn't as if she was raised in the wilderness

>>14911331

Have you ever tried just going limp when she bites you? I know you said that it hurts like balls (I sympathize), and it's very, VERY tempting to shout, but maybe not reacting will make her calm down a tad.

She could be doing it for the attention- if you express disinterest, there is a slight chance she'll stop.

>>14911331
Tried talking to her family then?

>>14911371
I'll try. I can't promise I won't react.

>>14911380
Her family pays for it, most of the time. Their idea as well, when I told them about the biting and how she didn't have any other friends.

>>14911398
Her family probably think you're doin' it.

>>14911398

I don't blame you for reaction, bro. I still panic when my girlfriend tries that- maybe women just like biting.

>>14911404
Her family is aware of our lifelong celibacy and they're okay with that. Her sister just wants to get her to fuck, though.

>>14911426

That must be *wonderful* for the girl's sexual compass.

>>14911437
Eh. It hasn't fucked me up.

>>14911318

because it's summer

>>14911454

Shit, bro, I have nothing to say, besides what I already said.

Ways it's looking, you have a girl that is extremely dependant on you, repressed socially and sexually, and violent.

See, this sounds like the plotline for a romance manga. I guess the best thing I can say is "Best of luck, hope everything goes well with you two!"

>>14911487
I wish. Were this a manga, there'd be more panty shots. Anyway, that's enough thread hijack.

You know what? Show dominance like alpha wolves do. Grab her "muzzle" (nose/mouthish area, you should have enough strength in your hand to keep her from opening her mouth since the jaw is weaker opening than it is closing), get real fucking close, glare, and growl. Snarling helps, too.

Granted, this advice comes from training abused dogs to not be violent (I like pound puppies, as they have more personality generally) without being retarded and beating them, but it seems to work on a lower-brain-function level.

Happened twice with the same guy. He volunteers to run a game. I am extremely excited, since I am forever gm. Since it's his first time, I give him some pointers on what to do, what not to do, etc. He seems to take the advice to heart, and I look forward to a good first session with my first actual character in a long time.

We start our first round of combat, and it's obvious that he's not taken a look at the rules system at all, meaning i have to step in and effectively gm combat the first few sessions. He goes out of his way to troll certain players knowing their character will be useless in certain situations until the game collapses in on itself as he tries to rectify a couple of obvious tracks with even more obvious tracks.

This happened twice. Different systems. Same guy.

>>14911594

Me again. A quick explanation of why it should work:

At a core level, human beings are domesticated animals. It stands to reason that every once in a while, you end up putting the right genes together to surface the recessive instincts that we've long since buried. Everything you're describing screams feral dog to me (As in, you've got one of those puppies that is downright mega violent because they got the luck of the draw as far as genes go. They can still be taught to control this.).

>>14911687

Still me:


The key is not fighting back. Fighting back shows equality. You need to prove you're on a higher level and the only way to do that is with sheer dominance and force of will. I'm not saying be mean, or be aggressive, but ... Okay, it's sort of the same psychology with children. Yelling at kids rarely works because, again, on an animalistic level it's aggression and aggression proves time and again to equate to equality. I really think this is your best option.

>>14909450
>>14909438
Seconded!

>>14911426
Anon, i know that feel bro
If i would have seen this thread a year ago, i'd have drove my ass down to your she wolf,
woo-ed the fuck out of her and got her off your back
i got so good collecting shitty relationships. that i used to take the crazys away from they victims
i'd dick her for you, biting and all

/tg/ - traditional stories about a fictional girl who got molested when she was a child, turned into a fucked up adult that wants to fuck her roommate but he is a beta faggot so she just bites him and hits him while she fucks random guys in secret

>>14911769
Just like my japanese animes.

>>14909716

>>14911827
You're almost 4 hours late, man, we already went.

>>14911832
better late than never

>>14911845
Not really.

Back on topic:

My most bullshit was probably last session we had. The wizard just started lighting shit on fire. We're investigating a haunted mansion, some people outside get kidnapped by living furniture(That this wizard was trying to steal), so we go to save them, and he threatens to burn down the forest... while doing so. The rest of the party is inside, and watches him basically throw a damn fireball at us. One round and all his HP later he's unconscious, stripped of belongings, hog-tied, and stabalized. When he came to the first thing he did was start threatening the lives of the party members that assaulted him, in-character. Then he started rolling to get free, so out he goes again.

Our assassin eventually got fed up, untied him, and returned his orb. He thanked him by throwing a fireball at the mansion while half the party was inside. The DM realized this adventure was kind-of done, so the end boss, a golem, rushed outside, sprouted water guns, and doused the house. That Wizard decided to try another one, DM just dropped some dice, and told him if he does this the golem will crush him in one hit. (Yeah, hi? We didn't actually heal your wounds, jerk-face.) So he lit up the trees again.

So now the monk and I have managed to recruit a golem whose mansion reverted to a cottage the monk is making into a bar, the golem has a mug for a hand, and I'm pretty sure that if we don't kill the wizard he's going to kill us all in our sleep. Or have us killed, because the little fucker can't take solo enemies for his life.

So did that whole dealy with the anti-social, biter, chick end up on easymodo or what? Link?

>>14911367

Alright man, I'm just throwing more shit in a shit storm, but have you ever considered that the problem could be you? Though you are a nice guy and did things together since child hood and generally really close, why not just sit down together and instead of talking about her faults and being violent why not talk about your relationship? I'm not talking about a romantic relationship, not at first, but sit down and talk about the good times and how things lead up to the present. Then talk to her about where you think life will be heading how things will turn out in the end and then ask her about a romantic relationship, to try it out at first and see how it goes. So neither of you are very sexually active, so what? Just because you are in a romantic relation ship doesn't mean you have to be fucking her every 5 seconds do whatever feels right to the both of you.

I can understand why she gets angry. I would be pissed too if my child hood friend just goes on and on about my faults, I would be pissed too if I where brought up in a catholic environment and some fag starts making snide comments to me. I would be pretty pissed off if the person I was dropping hints at since child hood payed no attention too it.

The real problem could just be she is too shy or embarrassed about confronting some of these problems head on. Instead of talking to a complete stranger about it, she probably wants to talk about it too someone she is much more familiar with her, and forcing her to do so is also kind of cruel.

dude seriously sit her down and tell her, we need to talk about your aggressive behaviors

tell her to stop it or move out, this is seriously getting out of hand, or ask her why shes doing this, if she doesnt say anything, go fine have it like that, ignore her until she says something about it

>>14911968


So anon man up have a long serious talk with her and things will end for the better no matter the scenario. Scenario 1: She gets mad and says "Our relationship isn't that way at all" gets embarrassed and doesn't see you as much

Scenario 2: She gets a lot of pent up frustration off her chest and after a while her violent ways could subside after she knows someone will be there for her at the end of the day.

Come one man its bi-winning. If she is really uncomfortable at first, be patient and if you have to, let her know it's just as hard for you to bring up the romance scenario.

I really wish I could see what happens in the end but I work too much for my own good. Getting married and saving up to buy a house takes a lot out of you...

>You will never tame a violent lolilike roommate into a lovable waifu

Tonight's the night, make your move on the feral girl.

What the living fuck buckets happened here guys?

>What's the most bullshit you ever put up with in one sitting?

I don't put up with bullshit and neither do most of the people I play with and we handle most things like adults. Guess that's what you get when the people you play with, incl. yourself, has 20-30 years of experience of diverse RPGaming.

I'm sure there where alot of BS in the early years but I can't blame pre-teen and teenagers for being imbalanced individuals and I honestly don't remember much details about them days (where we played almost every single day).

The most bullshit I suffered was the last session with my old online group a number of years ago now. The GM, a friend of mine for roughly 5-6 years, has been thoroughly pussywhipped by the first girl to ever look at him for probably that whole time. She gradually got more and more controlling as time went by, eventually getting to the point of dictating who his friends could and could not be (despite her fucking around behind his back). Their relationship starts to strain on account of him having to drop out of college to work and support her ass while she played FFXXIIVIIXCDLMXXOnline or whatever all day. She was a manipulative, whiny bich who got off on controlling people. I wouldn't have none of her bullshit and never have. She really started to dislike me for it.

It comes to a head eventually. In the middle of a session. She has manipulated her way into the game for the day, playing some lolrandum chaotic stupid captain sparrow pirate knock off in the middle of a desert/arabianthemed game. I question it and she goes off in a huff, then the GM flips his shit. He lumps all his relationship issues on me, personally. A guy who he might talk to for 5 hours a week, who lives on the otherside of the fucking planet.

He's not my friend anymore, sadly. I also hear she dumped him after he lost his job and ran out of money. After it all blew up and whatever was left of our friendship wasn't left salvaging, I told him she would.

>>14914940
Dickings, apparently.

>>14911975

Senerio 3: She goes bugnuts and attacks again.


Really. Best situation I can see, is gra her by the back of the neck, and headbutt her. No, really. Nice, and hard, right in the middle of the forehead. She gives you any shit, you keep doing that, until she's crosseyed. Then just drop and ignore.


You -have- to break this habbet of hers, or she's going to try attacking way more then she can chew, one day. Either someone that's got a gun/knife, or that will call the cops, and she will get tossed in jail.

>>14910482
which one the smut one or the official one?

I know I know
>Implying they both aren't mind numbingly stupid

Know where this needs to be? The front page.

>>14910339
Sounds like Asuka IRL. Let's hear about the AdEva.

>>14910013
>Roman Catholic, bites, throws random temper tantrums.

Is this your roommate?

Guy with the biter: As a Dominant, it seems to me like she needs more control. If she can't behave, then restraint is in order. Don't hurt her, but make it clear that you're in charge and don't let her hurt you. It seems like she's doing it because she can get away with it. Either she'll settle down after a few times of being put in a head-lock, she'll switch and want you to start collaring her, or she'll get fed up with it and not be your friend anymore. Frankly I think either of those are acceptable outcomes, but that's because I won't take that kind of shit...

The GM was doing crystal meth and one guy was chasing after a cockroach with a shotgun because his character was off his antipsychotic meds.

>>14919065
Index is Anglican

Whatever your name is if you are still here I found a picture of you.

>>14919179
How...how did you even get in a group like that?

>>14918730

DM and a player kept asking for breaks every 45 minutes or so to go run off, hide and smoke pot, leaving me and the other player with nothing to do but sit and wait for them, twiddling our thumbs. When they finally haul their asses back in smelling like an old volkswagon bus, we still don't get anything done because our DM forgets what he was doing after every move he makes. Took almost an hour to maneuver five goblins and have three of them attack. I confronted them about this after the third "bathroom break" and they started bitching about how they were being persecuted.

The game was last night and I'm never going back again. I don't give a fuck if the DM has almost every single mini and a big play area. Also, he told us he was a holocaust denier, so that's nice too.

>>14910979
Hurm. I am reminded of my first girlfriend, who I primarily dated because I thought she'd get herself in some sort of trouble if she didn't have someone in her life she cared about enough to not sleep around etc.
turns out, I was not the guy to keep her nose clean. She slept with my best friend and older brother figure. (I'm not even mad. He'd fuck me, given an Iota of homosexuality or a vagina on my part.)

Maybe you should just bend over and take a pegging. It appears to be pretty much your lot.

>>14911735
You... are actually one hell of a bro, to take unwanted psycho GFs off of people's hands for them.

>>14920713
It's not really bro. He's getting laid and then ditching them because he doesn't care about the consequences.

Every so often, my fiancee goes absolutely apeshit and tries to beat the shit out of me. She is pretty small too, and I beat her easily every time, by pinning her against a wall, or the floor. Then she looks at me like she wants to kill me, which soon gives way to sweet sweet love-making.

I can't help feeling like a winner

>>14921112
That sounds like fun for you. I'm usually bleeding and tired, and my friend is usually making death threats or eerily silent. There's no hint of romance or sexual tension when we fight. I'd call you the winner too.

>>14921145

Is this the Anon who we're all advising?

Any luck bro?

>>14921145

Ah, I didn't mean it like that... Now I can't help feeling like a jackass :c

>>14921156
She didn't tear his throat open yet, I call that a win.

It sounds like she must be getting off on the fight in some way. Not necessarily in a sexual sense, but in the sense of an emotional rush, physical sensation, emotional context, need for attention, whatever. There has to be something driving her to fight.

>>14921164

A victory of sorts, I guess. Boy should invest in a tazer... and keep that shit hidden, until she finally snaps.

>>14921156
I went to bed. Forgot about the thread. Woke up. Got some pancakes from her. Went to work. Came back. Got some dinner. Lounged around. Watched some anime. Browsed 4chan. Saw this thread.

I guess I had some luck?

Um, have you asked if she was abused as a child? Because, reading the thread, it kinda seems to fit.

>>14921178

Wait, wait, wait....

Crazy bitch made you pancakes... and tries to beat the shit out of you?!

What the fuck am I reading man? Is she on perma-PMS?

>>14921184
He's known her for long enough he would have figured it out himself.

>>14921192
She makes breakfast and some other meals since she moved in basically for free. Also does some cleaning, but she sucks at it.

>>14921192
She totally makes breakfast, I think he stated this twice above.

>>14921178
Also, I propose you be named "Chewtoy"

All in favor?

>>14921213

haven't been on since last night- it's been one hell of a day. Apparently not as bi-polar as this girl though.

>>14921206

What's she been like today?

>>14921224
As usual. Upset about something or another, but content to just growl about it today.

>>14909516
I hate GURPS every season of the year. And I have played it far more than I ever would have liked to. Simply put, yes, it can do anything. But it doesn't do anything better than anything else that is just as readily available. The only systems out there I would choose it over are the horrendous jokes of games (like FATAL and d20M) or RiFTS.

>>14921252

Wrong thread broski

>>14921239

If I hadn't known about your situation, I would just suggest to talk to her. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be an option with her.

>>14921239
Try to strike up some conversation about what's bugging her you derp.

>>14921277
Just responding to someone being a retard about system hate, brosefus.

>>14921282
Or rather whatever DOESN'T seem to bug her I derped really bad, got my sentence meaning completely backwards.

My bad.

>>14921252
RIFTS is all about who is GM'ing. You must have had a bad GM.

>>14921285
That was yesterday.

>>14921282
>>14921277
There's no point in asking her. She'll just say it has nothing to do with me or something like that. She's upset every day, though, so that's nothing new.

>>14921285

>brosefus

Remembering that one

>>1492129

Does she practice her faith like her family?

I don't know just a That Guy, I know a THE guy. Every time he enters the room, the game is ruined--flat out. He's so bad, the GM of our group recently moved and has threatened our lives if any of us show him where he lives. Not to say our group was awesome, by any means, but, goddamn, he made us seem like Shakespeare's Role Playing Union.

So, some background: our group consisted of a Human paladin, human ranger, crit puppy, and a gnome wizard, halfling rogue and a human rogue. So, along stumbles a friend and I upon their game one night. I roll the world's worst berserker and my friend...well, only greentext can suffice.

>Fearbold
>Fighter
>Treats a group of humans and a gnome as if they're as normal a sight to him as deers standing in a field shitting

By this point, I can tell the GM is already ecstatic. So, here goes the group of people who honestly shouldn't be allowed to eat with anything sharper than a spoon, and a dog that could only crit.

So, we get our group of misfits

>>14921299
Well if it's been going on this long tell her that it's affecting your mood so it does have something to do with you/you're concerned.

>>14921310
Practicing, yep.

>>14921333

Hrm. Roman Catholic, right? Maybe you could talk to her pastor about it? In my personal experience, priests tend to be concerned about their flock, especially if it's getting to this point.

>>14921325
While I tell her I'm concerned about her long term mental health, she always brushes it off and tells me not to be a patronizing dick. Anyway, at this point I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely used to it. I swear the only time she isn't frowning is when she's dead asleep.

...and the animal companion hound that can only crit.

The first session seems to be going well, we're kicking some ass and then have to set out into the frontier to fulfill a quest. Night soon falls, as plot bends space-time, and we setup camp to rest. Do we get to sleep? Do we get attacked by bandits? No, no we don't. The Fearbold has to go bear hunting. For a fucking hour. And, my group being comprised of 80% WoW idiots--I mean dipshits--I mean addicts follows him. And grinds. And grinds. And grinds. I'm getting Exp, but I don't give a shit, this is retarded. My guy says the hell with it and the human rogue player and I go back to camp. Eventually, the party gets hit into submission and needs a rest. Not fearbold, not the giant bear-slayer, he stays out bear hunting. Now, I'm trying to figure out the math of how many bears per square mile is the norm.We killed like...six, maybe? Regardless, we finally get to sleep.

We then hear the phrase that ever-so-often means us saying "goddamnit:" roll listen. Sir Douche of Fucktardsbburg had somehow lead danger back to camp with him. I don't know how the found us, maybe it was the 50 gallon tank of bear blood he was wearing, but I know that being attacked by 5 pissed off grizzlies is a DM's way of saying "fuck you, I hate your character and everything you stand for." We're level 2, surrounded by a masochistic furry's wet dream. And then the near-impossible happens and the DM loses his faith in god.

>>14921350
She and the Monsignor don't get along since he made his own implications. She always preferred the Sisters from the Catholic School, but that's run by normal people these days.

>>14921357
Or drinking your fresh blood?

>>14921387
Sometimes she looks satisfied, but it's still an unpleasant face.

>>14921381
What implications, exactly?
>>14921387
All in good Catholic tradition!

>>14921317
>>14921377
Shit sucks bro

>>14921381

... Fuck. I was sure that that could've worked. And you're saying there are no more nuns?

Hell, in a way she seems misanthropic- but that might push it a bit too far.

>>14921404

For a second I was offended.

And then I got it.

You sly bastard.

>>14921413
There are very few nuns these days.

>>14921404
This is a paraphrase, but basically he said he'd look the other way if we fooled around, but only if we did it safely. She did not take well to that at all.

>Last Time on Dark Heresy!
K, so we put back that artifact that the Eldar wanted, and then we'll go murder the fuck out of them when they go to take it.

>Now, the exciting conclusion!
K, no. We're gonna run. They're too tough
Find Necrons before first contact.
Mess with them for a while
Get chased by gypsy-psychic-superbad Eldar ("No, these guys are crazy bad news, lets just run" says one guy, who I'm pretty sure wouldn't have "Known" that)
Run run run.
Dick around with more Necron stuff
Crew mutiny (Rouge Trader flying us around)
Oh shit! Black Ship appears!
Eldar appear
rouge Inquisitor appears
Take damage
Flee! Flee flee flee!
Start getting repairs at a Forge World
Heretech tells Tech Priests to stay away from certain areas, and of course, now they want to go there
We flee, heretech tries to steer us towards Tau space
Assassin kills RT Captain, Heretech (who burns fate)
About to finish the job of Heretech
Wild Necrons appear!
Inquisitors appear again
Necrons dock, board
We let them take some Necron artifact thing
Get vapourized by both Inquisition ships
TPK, Game Over.

Such bullshit from Tecchy. We did one session of Mutants and Masterminds after that, and we haven't seen him since.

>>14921426
So you're basically saying even celibate, hardline priests want you to fuck.

It's pretty possible she's gay. If she's seriously religious that could be the source of major sexual repression and anger buildup.

>>14921426

That priest, to me, has entered the hall of "Priests that aren't as bad as they are made out to be". Like the ones who play Pnp games.

>>14921434
I think he was trying to be supportive and "with it", but chose the wrong people to try it on.

>>14921445
Eh, even if I find the attitude more relatable I'm never going to be able to stomach that hypocrisy in someone who would publicly denounce that kind of behaviour.

>>14921377
We get into battle, bears everywhere, fur everywhere, shit's gotten past the point of deep. The bears can't hit us and half of the hits have been criticals. The DM whips out the crit chart. Saint Rapey the First smites the bear's head right off. Crit Puppy disembowls another. Stride-dork gets a headshot. Fearbold...fearbold hides. To quote the player "My character would let you people do all the work." This, coming from the jackass who wanted to go bear hunting. At night. In unfamiliar terrain. With strangers. So, we loot the bears. Oh wait, THEY DON'T FUCKING HAVE TREASURE. Only the DM, human rogue, and I seem to know this seldom-known fact: Bears are pour and automatically denied government assistance. Great, at least we've gotten some EXP.

Flash forward, we're in a town. Like hell if I remember the name, it's all a blur, only the stupidity of the fearbold and my revenge sticks in my memory. I may not have even been a berserker for that campaign, the ranger may not have existed at all--not like it'd mattered, that was the only time he did anything of use. We enter the tavern, no big deal, we're going to go drinkin' and whorin'. Except the paladin, he's too good for that, which he explains thoroughly in his code of edicts. Apparently, gambling isn't in the Lil'Book of Sanctimony, because the Deck of Many things was to be played that night.

>>14921442
Well, her big sister is a lesbian, or at the very least bisexual, and she doesn't have a problem with that. Despite being Roman Catholic, her family and the community haven't shunned her.

>>14921422
Oh hey that's kinda funny.
>>14921426
>>14921445
>>14921434
That's kinda awesome.
>>14921446
Shush you

>>14921446

Priests who do that make me laugh. Not in a hateful way, but like when a cat tries to swim. It's just so funny.

Anywho, best of luck, I'm going to bed. Wish I could give you some better advice than "go limp like a rag doll" or "go to others", but s'all I got.

Again, best of luck!

I think Chewtoy's friend has her friendship and enmity wires crossed.

How does she respond if you act aggressively?

>>14921490
Escalation.

How does she react to you having a sexual relationship (in the house)?

>>14921505
My girlfriend is my right hand. Sometimes, I cheat on her with the left.

>>14921505
He doesn't he's pretty much stated as much.

>>14921513
Okay, so you - like her - have never had a sexual relationship?

>>14921398
Sounds like she needs a hug.

>>14921520
Nope. Anime/Tabletop/Vidya nerd. Also a middle school teacher now. That should speak for itself.

>>14921503
Escalate harder.

>>14921357
>she always brushes it off and tells me not to be a patronizing dick
Decline.
You have a right to be a patronizing dick if you want to. Besides, you're doing it for her own good.

>>14921522
She doesn't like them very much. She squirms and tries to wriggle herself free if she doesn't feel like outright kneeing you in the balls or something.

>>14921534
Wow. Have you ever tried? If you masturbate you must have a sexual drive.

>>14921534
Oh god I could be you in a few years
At least I'd do a better job with a bitey bitch I'm sure

...

No I fucking wouldn't.

>party uses rolls for ABS
>be a balanced defender
>meant to deal with several enemies at once and fun to play
>Have a striker thats MinMaxed out the fucking ass, outclassing literally every player in and out of combat
>He does a better job as a defender than I do, and because he kills anything in a single fucking turn, I can't do my job effectively
>Does a better job on skill checks then everyone else.

And thats just 1 of our god damn strikers

I'm not even gonna mention the RP.

>>14921536
The escalation invariably ends with someone beaten. I've learned to avoid inciting her into a real frenzy these days

>>14921551
Lose her and think about yourself for once. It's time to grow "Balls of Steel" and move on. It's for the best.

>>14921546
I'm not brushed off with a single line, but when I pursue a line of argument, it ends in a physical fight and at the end I'm too tired to continue or I've forgotten.

>>14921555
My libido is very low to begin with. I only fap like three times a month. Plus, while I tried a lot in my younger days, I got shot down every time and stopped caring.

>>14921570
Eh. I think I'm in a pretty good place for the most part. Got someone who makes breakfast for free and can make a bed. Also good DM and Player, as well as good at the vidya and has not-shit tastes (my tastes) in animu.

On the note of Feral-girl comment to Chewtoy-man that one time as she stares to of the window:
It might be that instead of expressing her repressed lust or whatever, she was actually having a lucid moment and was expressing regret for somehow tangling you up in her web of rage and bloodlust. She might have been thinking that if she hadn't met (and bit) you, you would have some better luck with girls, and life in general. And she might have found her peace faster (suicide by picking a fight with the wrong person).


Just some morbid thoughts...

>>14921586
Seems you are overly passive and she is trying to get you to interact.

I once stayed in a shitty BESM game for five hours. I was ready to walk in the first ten minutes, but instead, I stayed there and destabilized the game so badly that it never met again.

I consider that one of my greater /tg/-related accomplishments.

Ive gone through a lot of bullshit over the years...DMs throwing epic level challenges at low level PCs, one guy who kept telling us "You guys are lost, nothing you do works, nobody is in sight, you are lost.", mary sue DM PCs, railroading DMs and ones who went off the road and into the ravine, party members that were retarded, powergamers...

Still, the worst bullshit i had to put up with is probably this one :

>DM obviously didn't do any preparation for the session and is stalling for time by dragging a short conversation between NPCs out to 1.5 hours
>Near the end of the session tells us hes figured out a quest for the party to do
>Roll eyes

Next session :
>We are supposed to investigate some suspicious looking guys that haven't done anything illegal
>We decide to ask around, nobody knows anything, and everything we do to try to get more info fails
>Start thinking that the DM didn't do any prep work for this session either
>Guy who said he was making a party face takes the opportunity to troll us by saying that he created a lesbian who is as worthless as possible and refuses to do anything to help gather info except flirt with the barmaid
>One guy who made a "hurp i am retarded" character didn't help either. No, SERIOUSLY.
>DM later tells us that the group that we are supposed to investigate turns out to be high level casters and we are like level 4
>After the session ask DM whether he has an actual plot or he is simply trying to troll us by railroading us into failure repeatedly
>He keeps insisting that the plot is awesome and blames us for everything
>Cleric whom has missed most of the sessions so far turns out to be "that guy", later check his character sheet and it's a min-maxed shapeshifting cleric of time with a greatsword
>DM decides to back "that guy" in a drama fest and then wonders why more than half the group does not show up to play in the next session

>>14921672
Deep stuff.

>>14921675
We do interact, actually. We usually play some games together every day, and work on RPG notes/watch anime or something like that.

She's only working in part time jobs right now anyway, since she got laid off, so she's got the time to do stuff.

>>14921660
There is more to life then gaming and anime. You need to become self reliant and less of a push over. If she doesn't like it cut her off. Seriously your just hurting yourself and letting yourself get dominated.

If it wasn't a problem then you wouldn't be talking about it so much. Trust me when I say I speak from past experiences when I was young.

>>14921718
I have a weird feeling that she thinks you don't "Start things" enough.

You just seem to sit back and react, she wants you to push for things I think.

It's strange, just a feeling, but it's really nagging at me.

I find myself agreeing with the wild animal line of reasoning here.
If she gets aggressive, try to wrestle her to the ground and keep her there until she calms down.

PS: Looks like this thread is on autosage now.

>>14921739
She doesn't bother me really, it's how people perceive her, and by proxy, me.

That said, if I was to have one regret, it's that I can't convince her to do maid cosplay, even though I'm basically letting her stay rent-free in exchange for that kind of work.

>>14921749
Actually, I tend to be the one who prompts us to do things. She wouldn't play RPGs if I didn't force her out of the house, and we wouldn't be friends if I didn't force my way into her life. In fact, most of what we do is my idea.

>>14921774
Yeah, looks like the thread's over.

Maybe she just needs to work out some aggression. Why not take a martial art together or something?