As a part of a cultural exchange with the tau empire, you are given ownership of an Earth Caste apprentice engineer (while you provided them your little sister to raise) to make you benefit of each other's skills. She looks like this, and like most Earth Castes, she is quiet but curious, docile and stoic but enthusiastic. Wat do?
>tau slave wat do
"Purge" the xeno.
ORIGINAL THREAD DO NOT STEAL
why do we always get these weird little fetish 40k threads....god i can imagine what you guys look like.
check diaper change if wetspank if complainsusual stuff
>>20106613because it's mildly amusing and doesn't take time
>zeno in da naem of dda empra, perge ta alein
>>20106633destwoy da ooniburse
>while you provided them your little sister to raiseI don't normally say this but poor tau.>prisoners ecoblsy...What are you implying catcha?>accessible trailwiI'm Not sure how to feel about where this is going...
Treat her adequately for twenty years until the time for the exchange back occurs. The secrets the brain-implanted Archmagos learned in the body of my little sister will be the undoing of the Tau Empire. I mourn her loss, light a candle for her in the Cathedral of the Emperor's Guiding Light, and pray that her servitor survives long after my own death, long enough to see Tau planets burn across the galaxy.
Just another Saturday for my rogue trader.I toss her in engineering and hope that she doesn't piss off the techpriest too much, and also use my daring, wit and charm to convince her to calibrate my main cannon, if you know what I mean.Also maybe have her replace one of my arms with a bitchin' power arm that has a flamer built into it or something, because that sounds totally rad.
>>20106663>twenty yearsprovided she's already 12, she'll be dead, brah. tau live 30 years on average.
Try to trade her in for one of those warhammer fantasy elf boys. I hear they like to get fucked.
>>20106675See, that's why we have these cultural exchanges in the first place.
>>20106675No wonder Tau fans love their army. Who wouldn't want to fuck a twelve year old?!?
First off, I ask her why she's only wearing a bikini because that's weird>>20106615And a diaper, yes.
>>20106675I thought it was 40, why'd it suddenly drop 10 years?
I...Do the Mussolini!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD41fVpvD3g&feature=fvwrel
I [spoiler] PURGE IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH
>'Ere boyz, wut's dis squishy blue fing?>I dunno boss, them aliens gave it t' us. Want me to krump it good?>No, y' stoopid git, I'm boss and I say what we're krumpin. And we ain't krumpin this thing. Give it to da mekboyz, dey need the help.>If you say so boss.I wonder what would happen to her.
>>20106752welcome to /tg/, enjoy your stay.
>>20106763they'd do to her what they did to Xeno: turn her into a deffkopta.
ELF SLAVE WAT DO
>>20106572OI, WOTZ DAT FING? IZ IT A SQUIG? IT'S ALL SQUISHY AN' BLUE AN' IT MAKES FUNNY NOIZES WHEN I POKE IT. BUT WOT KINDA SQUIG IZ IT?
>>20106763So begins the journey of Blue Gal, the orkiest tau that the galaxy has ever seen. She started about as un-orky as any non-ork can be, but da boss and his boyz teach the awkward thing all about what it means to be orky. Eventually, they welcome her into the warband, essentially adopting her and raising her to be as orky as is proper for one of da boyz.
>>20106812I'd read a greentest story about it.
>Wat do?PROBE HER!
>>20106812She'd probably become as aggressive as a Ork too considering what Tau are like without ethereal support.
>>20106811Dunno, maybe if you squeeze it, some juice will come out. It sure looks juicy.
>>20106572Since I don't have any siblings, I wonder what poor bastard's freaking out trying to find his little sister.
>>20106856Nah, that was the fire caste and the air caste, mostly. other castes weren't as warlike in the Mont'au.
>>20106853at least post the completed version, dammit, that's a shitty ass sketch
>>20106856>Oi! Wut's all dis now?>Huh? Oh, uh, b-boss! Well, this, uh, what was he called again?>E's a Nob, Blue. And e's lyin on da floor.>Right, about that. He, uh, well he tried to tell me what to do, so I...>You wut?>I... I krumped him good!>Dat's me gal!
>>20106860WOT? YA MEAN LIKE A BLOOBERRY?
>>20106906Yes, very much.
>>20106763>>20106812>>20106856>>20106897Someone needs to do this.I don't care how it's done. Even if it's just a picture. But it needs to be done.
I'll make a huge-tau of my very own.
Pat her on the head and teach her the proper way of maintaining technology.PRAYER AND ANOINTMENT.(And slapping your udder on it.)
>>20106897>Oi Blue, wot ya doin' wif dat shooty suit?>Oh, I found some guns on the ones that weren't wrecked, so I figured I'd slap them all on one suit and see how it works.>Huh? Why you doin' that?>...What do you mean, why? It needed more dakka.... >Hey, boss, are you crying?>Dey grow up so fast on ya....
>>20106946Well considering that they almost wiped themselves out with gunpowder, I think that Tau without ethereal support would be pretty damn aggressive. I can imagine her pistol whipping Orks with a pulse pistol while hording teef like a madwoman.
>>20106882>shitty assHo ho ho. But no, you do it Techno.
>>20106897>Wut's dis here, Blue?>I thought I'd help put together a truck!>But dis has chainswords on da front, da sides, and da back>Well, I thought that instead of just being shooty, it could be choppy as well!>Blue, keep dis up and y'll be more've an ork dan any of da gitz here
>>20106613something like this
>>20106897jesus christ, how adorable
>>20106971YOU do it, fartknocker.
>>20106763>>20106897>>20106954>>20106984And thus, Blue, the Orkiest Tau in the Galaxy was born. I wish I was a drawfag
>>20106968with generations of selective breeding, I'd expect all tau (except the fire warriors) to be docile as a sheep even without ethereals.
>Oi Blue, wuz dat ya doing with dat paint and makin doze marks on de boyz' shootahs and choppaz?>Makin' cluez for da gitz heeya boss!
>>20107018mmhhhmmm..... autistic faggots....
>>20106927bu she'll still be very small.at most you'll be able to roll her around like a ball
Some kind of kinky R&D sex.
>Look, Mr Gretchen, all I need is for you to do this simple task for me>I ain't listening to you, you ain't no ork and I only take orders from orks>I'm trying to be nice, please just listen to what I'm saying>No, y' ain't an Ork, so I ain't listenin to anyfing you 'ave to say>But->I said no, ok?>Well, you won't help me and I won't help you>*Thump*>'Ere Blue, wuts wit all dese ded Grotz on da floor?>That's what happens to anyone who says I'm not Orky, Boss>Oh Blue
>>20106897I can imagine an Ork writing on a whiteboard trying to describe the meaning of "Dakka", and what is and isn't "Orky".
>>20107093>*Thump*As in grenade launcher?
>>20106988So /tg/ is made up entirely of average British people?
I educate her on the finer parts of the culture of the Eternal City and make sure the 50% population of Commorragh that are murder-hobos don't get their hands on my price.
>>20107146If you like.I didn't really consider that part much.Though I imagine she'd be more shooty than choppy.
>>20107158I say! That wobbidiflopp looks smashing.
Why would Orks accept a non green, weedy thing? And no, Deathskulls are partially painted blue
I immediately set about curing her of her ridiculous belief in the Greater Good.
>>20107175But wot if 'er shooty was choppy at da same toim?Not a shoota wiff a choppa on it, but a shoota dat is choppy when shootin?
>>20107187Why not?Orks aren't known for being predictable.
>>20107128Then into theology - what the difference is between being brutally kunning and kunningly brutal
>>20107166more like 99,99%
A cultural exchange, you say?I'm sure it will be most... enlightening.
>>20106731They met da orks.
>>20107190>Wut y' workin on Blue?>Well, I thought that most of your shooters were a bit too simple, so I decided I'd make them a bit more interesting>It looks like a normal shoota t' me>Ah, but see here, when it fires, it actually fires spinning blades! It's choppy as well as shooty!>Wow Blue. Is der anyfing you CAN'T do?
>>20107205`Orky philosophyMetaphysics: Wot wud 'appen if we had 'nuff dakka? Aesthetics:Wotz best? blak an' white motifs or white an' blak motifs?Theology:Iz Gork kunnin' an' brutal an' Mork brutal an' kunnin', or iz it da opposite? Morals:Wotz a proppa ork? Politics:Shud' da boss be da most kunnin', da most brutal, or az kunnin' az brutal?
>>20107225>Yes. Have enuff DAKKA!
>>20107211The rest are not necessarily hobos, mind you.
>>20107093>>20106984>>20106954>>20106897>>20106763So if the orks got Blue, what did the Tau get? A gretchin?
>>20107205>Now, dis one is Gork, and dis one is Mork.>But sir, what's the difference between them?>Who's the teecher 'ere? Shurrup. Da diff'rence is dat Gork is brutally cunning, but Mork is cunningly brutal. Get it now?>I'm... Not sure I do...>Gork krumps ya when yer' not lookin', and Mork krumps ya so y' can't look at anyfin any more. Alright?>Yes sir!
>>20107254Presumably.I wonder what they'd do with it.
>>20107263So... Mork krumps their eyes first?
>>20107254They lack in psykers, so maybe a Wierdboy.
>>20107278Exactly. It ain't hard t' unnerstand.This teechin lark's easy.
>>20107263>No ya git. Mork krumps ya when yer' not lookin', and Gork krumps ya so y' can't look at anyfin any more.
>>20107278>WE WON'T NEED EYEZ WHERE WE'LL BE KRUMPIN
>>20107275I actually thought >>20107093 was about the Tau's part of the exchange until the last three or four lines, so probably something like that, with the gretchen being extremely lazy and uncooperative.
>>20107288>You ain't no teecher. I's got a whiteboard 'n everfing, so whatever da zog I say is da truth. N' I say Gork krumps when y' ain't lookin, 'n' Gork Krumps ya so y' can't look any more. I gots kwal-if-ick-ay-shuns.
>>20107294In hindsight, that makes sense.
>>20107320>So, what does Mork do, then, Professork?
>>20107219we already went through thatthe result is My Little Tau, a live-action holo-show primarily aimed at Trueborn children, but appreciated by all manners of (wealthy) adult dark eldars. It is unanimously praised for its witty and enriching humor, as it narrates the mishaps of a group of young tau girls in the dark city. Although it is effectively a reality show, since the actresses are not actually playing any role, every event is carefully staged, and a Haemonculus coven takes care of resurrecting the main cast after each episode. Following the success of the series, said coven launched a line of personal mounts modeled after the characters of the show, small enough for children to use, and potentially customizable.
Sex slave wat do.
>Tau slave wat do>Two screens later, Orky theologyOh, /tg/.
>>20107344Is that you Technomancer?
>>20107324I like to think the gretchen's inborn instincts to herd squigs and the like would lead to him having a small army of Vespid as well. Kinda like this, but with vespids, and maybe the gretchen's suit would be more Tau-like.
Now I wish we had draw-faggotry of Ork teaching the novince Tau the finer parts of Ork culture and Gretchin giving its Tau instructors a migraine.
>>20107345Yes and /tg/ turned it into something much better so follow the pic and let it continue.
>>20107338>'E, er... 'E krumps, er... Shurrup or I'm gunna give YOU da krumpin. You erd wot I sed and dat's wot da troof is. Whatever it were dat I sed. >See Blue, dese Orkz is all stoopid. Dey need a good teecher like me or dey's never gunna lern nuffin.
>>20107368Drawfags are never around when you need them.
>>20107361yeah, I know, I got commissions to work on. But goddamn, it's your money, your problem.
>>20107399>>20107400Drawfagmind.Let's see if we can pester one to read this thread.
>>20107368I have this mental image of Dakka Caste Tau and Orkthereals...
>>20107407>>20107411This is so meta it hurts.
We need a starport capable of manufacturing escape vessels and we need them NOWThere is no way my little sister isn't going to fucking ruin this inside of a week.We need to get the fuck out of here before anyone comes looking for us.
>>20107422I can feel the Warp overtaking us.
>>20107412FER DA GREATA WAAAAGH
So what would it be like on the other side, with the Tau getting to "take care" of a Gretchin?
>>20107459A mekboy would be somewhat more amusing. Tau trying to learn how to build and operate orky machinery and the Ork trying to quintuple-link burst cannons and make them louder.
>>20107459Like TIDF arguing with /tg/.
>>20107459Gretchin spends first two weeks expecting a beating and eventually just starts freeloading like he is the king of the world.
ITT: /tg/ does what it does best, taking a shitty concept and making it GOLD.
>>20107459Well if we are going to Sue up the Earth Caste, why not do the same for the Gobbo. A Gobbo taken under the wing of an Ethereal and given robes and a blade and being taught how to lead for the Greater Good, only to fall back on ork/gretchin solutions to problems occasionally. Like dragon punching the egotisical Fire caste general in the balls who doesn't listen to him.
>>20107481>Mekboy clumps together a bunch of parts and can't work out why the fuck it never drives/fires like it shouldI think he'd go insane.
>>20107391Commissions? Don't flatter yourself, I don't stalk you. Your fetishes was just so easily spotted.
>>20107492The nocturnal fa/tg/uys are the best fa/tg/uys.
>>20107489I still like the idea of him using a pack of vespid to do his bidding for him.
>>20107520Yeah, we're dark and mature like out animé tastes.
>>20107481>Dis 'ere is a Shokk Gun. Wot you do wit it is you take a runty git, shove it roight in 'ere and hit 'ere, den it either works or it don't. A demonstrayshun? Wait 'ere, dat there gray git in the robe should fit in.
>>20107517I did get stalked, though.
>>20107536I think it's because a lot of the kids of /tg/ finally go to sleep instead of shitposting.
>>20107511Alternatively, Tau can't for the life of them figure out why everything works when handled by their guest, and go insane themselves.
>>20107481>A Tau is taken to the Mekboy's shop and does its best to tell them all why their machinery won't work while they build it, then gets surprised when it all drives out with no trouble at all
What would Blue look like if dressed up by all the orks?I can't imagine they know how to dress females.
>>20107603>Wut da zog? Dis one's got two squishy platforms fer loadin up more dakka on it!
>>20107628>They mount guns on them, and discover they're very useful>Soon after, every ork in the universe has breast-guns
>>20107603A fashionable tube-top and long skirt made out of jagged scrapmetal and squig leather.
>>20107658Bringing a horrifying new meaning to the phrase "Look at me flash, boss!"
How old would the tau be? Could it ride on a Warboss' shoulder like a little sister on a big daddy?
>>20107692she's 12. She has big titties but as she's a civilian tau, she's very naive and innocent.
>>20107603Think scale mail bikini/mesh gear top and leather pants. The scales/mesh for holding clips and the like, very crude tactical setup. She would possibly also have camo face/war paint to have her fit in a bit more. Platform heel boots to improve height, probably with that spike on the toe. Hair cut short or tied back in a top knot. Gloves, probably lead lined to improve hit power, can't let the gobbos thinking she hits light. Lots of tools in her web gear.That is my image of her.
>>20107716she has hooves
>>20107716not cutesy enough
>>20107716Wouldn't they just "orkify" her current getup? She'd look like a looted tau, I would think.
I teach her how to drive the ambulance, i would teach her how to run trauma too, but that might be a little to much cultural exchange.
>>20107716I'm imagining her with some form of squig on her shoulder as well. No idea why.
>>20107767>her current getupeh...
>>20107735Yeah, but boots on those hooves would make her fit in more, and she can put spikey bits on them. And if they get in the way, she can kick them off easier.>>20107751You lack imagination sir. See below>>20107719You sir are getting very close. A little less absurd and a little more functional, maybe with a touch of 3rd Reich that old school orks loved.So definetely short hair, under an oversized stormboyz helmet, painted green face and a big grin.
>>20107686>Flash gits with tits
>>20107802Fake teef in dat grin?
>>20107802>painted green faceI imagine they'd keep her blue and the boss would consider her his personal lucky charm, which is the only reason she's still alive, after all.
>>20107716Yeah, I mostly agree with that. Here's my image:Head:Hair tied into a ponytail of some sort, but not well kept at all. Tied together with wire, or something equally scrappy lookingFace:War paint of some sort. Green, perhaps.Torso:Sleeveless top made of irregular sheets of mostly thin, rusted metal. Roughly shaped around the breasts, but not too much. Stops before bellybutton (if tau have them), showing a little abdomen.Arms:Mostly bare, marybe wrist wraps or something. Studded leather gloves.Legs: Tight leather trousers (pants, for you Murricans), maybe some steel plates on them.Feet: Some sort of metal contraption that makes her taller, with sharp bits of metal if she needs to give a gretchen a good kicking.Yeah.
>>20107820It's a horrifying thought, but Orks have never been known to shy away from more dakka.
Has anyone ever noticed that anthropomorphised tau or drawn in such a way as to make it appear that they have noses?
I think she should have an oilstained overall.No longer worn in a proper manner, but it should still be recognizable.
>>20107928They have a forehead nose. At least that's what I think it is.
>>20107956you already have Xeno, stop with that overalls fetish.
>>20108004>overall fetishWait, did I actually start something?
>Mr Boss, sir?>Waddya want, Blue?>Well, I saw that you were discussing tactics for your next offensive, and that you were planning on just rushing into the enemy's stronghold, where it is best defended>So?>It was just that, as I see it, that's not a very good plan.>Wut's wrong wid it?>It'd be suicide! Now, if you sent a small strike force in here, and attacke->Blue.>Hold on sir, I just think going round a back->BLUE.>It's just that I think the attack you're planning at the moment is, well, sui->RIGHT. I've 'ad quite enuff of dat. Now you look 'ere Blue, we's been fru this loads o' times, but now we's goin' t' go fru it again. Wot is da Orky way?>Well, it's to go in shooting and chopping everything in sight.>And wot is NOT da Orky way?>*Sigh* Being sneaky and trying to outsmart the enemy.>EXACTLY. And don't you ferget it, or we's be havin' dis talk again. Now go and 'elp da mekboys or summat.>So, boss, what we gunna do bout this attack on da humies?>Well, boyz, I wus thinking. 'Ow about we send a few boyz down this way and try catch em off guard.>Brilliant boss, how'd you fink of dat?>Never mind 'ow. Now bugger off, all of ya gits.
>>20107877Now all we need is a drawfag.The steps are set in motion.
>>20107969the forehead nose has a habit of reaching down to form a regular nose, with a slight ridge at the top where the forehead nose should be.
>>20108062I like it.
>/tg/ in charge of not creating things that are kawaii as fuck
We got our first bit of drawfaggotry:>>>/tg/20108123
>>20108124Don't you mean kaWAAAGH as fuck?
>>20108135Not bad, but it doesn't contain the most important aspect: Blue.One of them needs to read this thread.
>>20108148Naturally.Definitely the most adorable thing to have come from the Orks ever.Besides, Chaos has that cultist chan thing, so why can't Orks get some representation? Indirectly.
>>20108165>Besides, Chaos has that cultist chan thing, so why can't Orks get some representation?We've been over this. Orks are not allowed to be cute, they're orks. The closest to cute an ork is allowed to get is endearingly ugly, like a squig.
>>20108190Ah, but this isn't an Ork. So it's fine.[spoilersstillaren'ton/tg/butdammnitI'llkeeptrying]I just thinking this idea is really sweet and would like to see more done with it. The greentext things have been really nice.[/spoilersstillaren'ton/tg/butdammnitI'llkeeptrying]
>>20108190>YOu're Having Bad Wrong Fun.Take your boring opinion somewhere else walrus man.
>>20108165Tau could use some more endearing /tg/-characters after all the shitty Tau threads we had lately. So I'm cool with it.
>>20108225Exactly.>>20108226I'm just saying orks don't need no Dakka-Chan shit going on, since it defeats the purpose of orks. I think Blue being a looted tau that learns to be orky but is still adorable and tau-like is the perfect compromise, personally.
>>20108135Here's a slightly altered copy of that picture. To get the original, paintbucket the black triangle in the upper right corner white. The image name is the same.
Vivisect her with a rotary saw. My sister will detonate the bomb in her cerebellum once she is safely aboard the Tau vessel.God is Greater. The infidels have made the wrong choice yet again.
>>20108248Well that setttles it.Blue, the Tau girl adopted by Orks because the Warboss wanted to show his boys they can't tell him what to do. She ends up getting well integrated into the Orkish society, helped out by the fact the warboss becomes increasingly supportive of her, she offers an alternative viewpoint for the Orks, and really forges herself a place in Ork-dom. Or something.
>>20107877Do we agree on her looking something like this?
>So boss?>Hmm?>Alright, let's just say that there's this nice mekboy who's been helping me out lately.>Roight...>And, well, let's say he asked me to help him with some dakka...>Wait, wot? The boss gets out of his chair, thinks for a moment, and heads for the door.>Boss? Where're you going?The ork boss slams the door on his way out. A gretchyn comes up to him as he rubs his temples.>Oi boss, wut's da matter?>Gork krump me... she's got a boyfriend.>Isn't that a good thing, boss?The ork boss then steps on the Gretchyn, and walks off mumbling.>We iz NOT havin' this discussion.
>>20108317Unless someone comes up with something else, yeah.
>>20108302Do you think she needs an orkier name or is Blue good? I was thinking "T'ork" since she's a Tau-ork and as a play on torque, her being an Earth Caste and all.
>>20108333Blue. Just Blue.
>>20108344She's blue so... Blue.
>>20108347If she was green she would die.
>>20107189This post went vastly underappreciated. I think I'm the only anon who got the joke.
>>20108333I'd figured Blue was a good name because Orks aren't known for imagination, and she is blue.You think Orks would go into the finer points of different alien names in the pursuit of accuracy? I'm not too sure about it. I reckon we'd be more likely to see them name something in that sort of way.But I'm an idiot, so don't listen to me.
>>20108355>I think I'm the only anon who got the joke.You aren't. It just wasn't very funny. Stop thinking you're a special snowflake.
>B-but... but... Mr. Boss, sir... Going around this way would be far more tactfully sound and->~Sigh~ We's gots a loong way ta go.... >LET'S GET DOWN TA BIS'NESS!>TA LERN... THE WAGGGH!>DIS THEY SEND ME SQUIGZ...>WHEN I ASKS... FOR DAKKA!
>>20108357>You think Orks would go into the finer points of different alien names in the pursuit of accuracy? No, which is why she would be known as "that Tau Ork" once they acknowledged her as a proper member of the WAAAGH which would quickly shorten into T'ork. The whole torque pun wasn't going to be something the orks thought up, it was just an added bonus.But you guys are right, Blue works just fine.
>>20108369I think you might change that a little> DID DEM SENT ME GRETCHIN> WHEN OI CALLED DA BOYZ!
>>20108366Like I said, vastly underappreciated.
>Mr Boss, I see you've got that power claw there, and I had a little idea.>Yeah? Wotizzit?>I thought that perhaps you could, instead of only having one close range weapon and one long range weapon, you could put a shooter on TOP of the power claw, letting you have double the firepower! I asked the Mekboys, and they said it would work.>Dat's. Dat's a good idea. Real good idea. But I can't do dat.>Oh, you can, I made plans for it and everything!>No. I can't.>But->No, Blue.>Why though?>Because if I did dat dere'd never be any humies left fer choppin!
>Boss, boss!>What ya get>Dah new gurl>What about 'er ya git?>She's put mo dakka on ah wartrukz!>Wat?! 'Ow?! et me see dat. Blue, wat ya doin' wif dat wartruk?>Just making ah ahem I mean I'z maykin eet lost mo' shooty for dah boyz!>Wat? Ya jus' put a big ting on it dat'z not how ya do it!>But it's a railgun boss! >See wut I mean boss? She's gettin orkier by dah day.
>>20108465>You's put a railgun on it? Dat's a real bad idea. >Why, boss?>Well nows it can only go on da train tracks, when it could turn before.>Oh Boss
Jeez guys, and I thought I was going to have a boring day today, so I think ill work on making a decent picture for this.
>>20108519:3We need more like that.
This thread has really deviated from its original course.
>>20108555Isn't that how all great adventures begin?
>>20108555enough for a separate thread?
>>20108560I've noticed that about /tg/. Great shit never starts in the first post. It always starts within the thread, and it's always different to the intentions of the OP.
>>20108570I love it.I absolutely love it.I cannot put into words how much I love it.
Man, someone archive this shit!
>>20108570We got a winner!
>>20108570YES!By the Emparhs scrotum, YES!
>>20108570All kinda of yes on that one!
>>20108570>The little squig at the top of the helmetOh god I love everything about this picture
>>20108570That's pretty cool yo.
>>20108592I would if I knew how the /tg/ archive worked.
>>20108629Although, uh, she does have hooves...
And from the ashes of a shit OP, /tg/'s ability to turn shit into diamond shines through.
>>20108569You don't really understand /tg/, do you?
>>20108647I swear to god this is the best board on 4chan.
>>20108647You know, I create wat do threads on a fairly regular basis precisely in hopes of hilarious, only vaguely related shit coming out of it. This one worked fine, the babby xenos thread too, although I had to make it twice.
>>20108570I don't think I have an appropriate reaction to this.So take this mostly unrelated image.
What's up the swastika?
>>20108322But Orks don't work like that.
>>20108676It's just a bit of metal. Besides, they're Orks.
>>20108647Let's not get all self-aggrandizing now, too many people have a /tg/ superiority com...>>20108671Ugh.
>>20108676It's an ork glyph that means "orky".It's right up in the ork glossary in WAAARGH!: The Orks. The ork proto-codex.
>>20108694>>20108676Holy shit, why the fuck is she wearing a swastika?
>>20108570TIDF is going to shit a brick in buttfrustration at this picture.
>>20108695I'm actually not from here. I popped in out of curiosity and found this thread.
>>20108704ork glyph for "orky/proper"
>>20108570>dem hipsOh boy, it's Midna all over again...
So, what's her full backstory? How did she end up with the Orks?OP's description is pretty bullshit, so we probably shouldn't use that, but there needs to be some form of reason.The thing in >>20106763 works in the sense that they kept her around because the Warboss wanted to show his boy's who's in charge, and then she just stuck around, but how did they find her in the first place?
>>20108727The Tau have warred with the Orks quite a bit.
>>20108734She doesn't exactly seem like a warrior though.
>>20108570>pickelhaube>swastikaSo, Nazi drawfag?
>>20108743She's with Orks.
forgot to add blue on the holes in the trousers
>>20108727Kolurtal Eckschange, ya git! >Wutz dat mean, boss?IT MEANS I TRADED A LOUSY GRETCHEN FER DIS BLUE SHINY FING! NOW GET BACK TA WORK!
>>20108760With the Pickelhaube, it can't be a coincidence.>>20108754Are you a Nazi?
>>20108754I love how she looks properly orky. Also, without wishing to be lewd, dem thighs hnnggggghhh.
>>20108758Good thing we're following blue. I'm not that interested in a gretchin that the tau are struggling to push the greater good onto but failing miserably.
>>20108748No, orks simply use nazi iconography to show how proud to be orks they are. I'm not kidding. Stormboyz especially. They're all about discipline, racial pride, and parading in the streets in uniform with German helmets. And swastikas mean "orky".
>>20108771>>20108748>>201087711) What's wrong with the Swastika? It's a traditional European symbol.2) The Pickelhaube was WWI, not WWII. If she were wearing a stallhelm, the "drawfag is gnatzee11! omg11!!" might have some merit.
Small update>>20108754Man, thats turning out better compared to mine
>>20108771But Orks love Pickelhaubes.
>>20108793In 40k, the swastika is a traditional ORK symbol. It's specifically intended to mock nazi imagery by making a barbaric, ape-like race use it to show their racial pride.
>>20108754We need the sign of Da Blue Hand on that ork.>>20108771To be exact it's a Stahlhelm+Pickel. Original Pickelhauben were slim leather helmets with metal plates in the front to fend of blades.And they were naturally pretty pointless when facing machineguns, thus were done away with.
>>20108780We've had a few posts about the Gretchen, but it's hard to get /tg/ excited about something that doesn't involve little girls.>>20108804For what it's worth, I like yours, too.
Not the other greentext guy but i'll give it a shot>Wot da zog are yous playin at, blue? Wot da zog 'ave you dun ta my trukk? Woss all dis gubbins here?>I replicated the Earth Caste Tetra's as best I could, I even polished the barrels and even managed to piece together some anti-gravity jets.>But oi told yoo to make it fastah!>B-but it has everything a Tetra does and those far outclock any wheeled device and I worked really hard a-and I thought you'd like it a-and..The warboss stoops down and embraces the snivvelling Tau with his remaining biological arm while unhooking something from the wall with the mechanical one. A gargantuan green paw rests on her tiny shoulder and roughly dries off a tear with the flick of a calloused digit. >Oh blue, ya daft git. Da trukk's dead orky but.. the Warboss says smiling, holding up a can of paint and a brush.>Da RED wuns is da fastest.
>>20108814Oh, alright. Never heard that bit before. Time to go re-read the Ork Codex.
>>20108727quite easy.during the war of the dakka the tau were falling back and at one point abandoning a small colony on a satellite world, the orks over ran the colony while the earth caste members were lodged. her parents were lost in the confusion of the evacuation and she was left as a young tau in her hab block. The boyz ignored her looking for a fight but some snotlings and gretchin eager to prove that they were big and tough orks themselves decided to gang up on her.She then proceeded to pick up a tau spanner and kick and punch her way into a corner fighting off all the snotlings/gretchin. When a mek came (to kick all the snotlings upside the head) he saw the young tau girl and mistaking it for a blue grot and noticing it already had a wrench picked her up and told her to get back to work.Thanks to her earth caste upbringing she had a rudimentary knowledge of machines and mechanics and her ability to help the meks inventions work gave her a utility to the orks. (although really the mek just thought that she was a lucky charm due to her blueness).Now the ork mek keeps her close and acts to protect her (at least telling other orks to shove off) while she herself has an added abiilty to kick some of the smaller orks/grots upside the head if they do cause her trouble.Her ability to add dakka is also a boon to the orks and "da blue grot" has become somewhat of an enderring name for her.
I'm trying to think of a non-cliche'd way of bringing her in with the Orks.Best I've come up with so far is that she was on a ship that crash landed on the Ork planet after getting caught in crossfire, and she was a lucky survivor (maybe with Amnesia, though it's clichéd). Since the Orks on this planet had never seen a Tau before, they didn't kill her on sight, but it was by a stroke of luck that she wasn't killed immediately on being discovered she wasn't an Ork of some sort.When they were discussing what to do with her, one of the Ork Boys got a bit overenthusiastic that they should kill her, and the Warboss decided, purely in order to remind everyone who's boss, to keep her alive instead.Over time, she went from the boss trying to prove he's in control, to an accepted and well liked member of the Ork society.Too clichéd?
>>20108821Well, Gretchens are not likable.
>>20108804Yours is also great. The other is more realistic, yours is in a more cartoony style. Both are great in their own merits. I'm just glad to see Blue getting some love.
>>20108855It would make for an amusing story all the same.
Get her some proper armor, have her upgrade my car and firearms then embark on an adventure.
>>20108834I like it :3All these greentext stories. They're all great.
>>20108855But you can make them likably unlikable. Make him the most conniving, magnificent bastardest gretchen ever, fighting against and derailing the Tau's greater good at every turn.
>>20108837Ok, I really like that story.It's a sensible idea, and works well given the context.That can be "canon" as far as I'm concerned.
>>20108793>1) What's wrong with the Swastika? It's a traditional European symbol.Confirmed for Nazi.
>>20108844>>20108837>>20108837I thought the idea was OP's presented scenario, a cultural exchange, except geared towards orks. If we go with anything else, we doom freeloading gretchen to further nonexistence...
IT'S GRETCHINWITH AN "I"NOT GRETCHEN
>>20108912The OP scenario was amusing,sure, and the slob Gretchin had potential, but as a whole it wasn't a very realistic or sensible thing to happen. It was just a silly hypothetical in the OP.The story in >>20108837 neatly explains how she became a part of Orkish society, and makes (at least some) sense given the context.
>>20108933Hm... I usually just call 'em Gits whenever I talk about them.
>>20108933I THOUGHT SO, BUT SPELLCHECK KEPT YELLING AT ME! I'M SORRY!PLEASE, NO MORE KICKINGS!
>>20108844If she was really young it wouldn't have to be amnesia, she could have just been 'raised ork' so to speak.
>>20108903It actually shows up in a fuckton of cultures and now no one gets to like it because Hitler figured it looked cool.
Drawfag here, I friggen love the idea of an Earth Caste contracting Stockholm Syndrome whilst being used for Orcish slave labor.I've gotta head out to work in 15 minutes, but I'll do some sketches on my break and then do some artwork for you guys when I get back.Let's show Xeno who everyone's favorite Tau really is. Anyone got a name in the works?
>>20108837Dat's propa orky. Oi like it.>>20108903Tell that to all the other cultures who used and use the symbol.>>20108912The problem is OP's scenario cannot fly inside 40k canon of any era or flavor.There are no amicable official relations between races and sure as hell no interest in mingling.
>>20108369>>20108413Please... Someone with more knowledge of 40k than my passing understanding... PLEASE finish this...I'm listening to the song on youtube and imagining Blue going through the training...
Okay, guysGUYSguys, what if Xeno met Blue?
>>20108974Fuck you, my favorite tau is still Xeno.
>>20108974>>20108974It'd have to be Orktau "Da Blue Grot"
>>20108974>pic relatedFucking virals!Yeah, please do so.>>20108994No. Don't. It would get ugly.
>>20109005Too much adventures for one galaxy.
>>20108975I could see Tau trying to get friendly with the orks because they're naive like that and one warboss humors them because he wants Tau stuff, but you're right, it just wouldn't fly.
>>20108994Blue would loot Xeno. Xeno would be transformed into Blue's personal warbike.
I, for one, welcome our nazi drawfag overlords.
>>20109007 Fuck you noob she's a Necron proxy that is being used to subvert the Tau to the old empire's own agendasHercutesy persona is nothing but a sham that you have naively fallen for.
>>20109034You can't have peace with a species dat's made fer WAAAGH!
>>20109008I like that.Her full name, if you can call it that, is "Da Blue Grot", but everyone knows her as "Blue".
>>20109010It has a nice ring to it.
>>20108975>>20108977"Boss dem blue fings oere dere are offerin uz boyz a Kc-, a cul-, dem offerin us boys to teach em how to krump tings propa and dey promisin uz one 'o dos tech boyz to give oor mekboys some know-wats.""But da mekz don't need no morez no-wats, s'why dere da brain boys.""But boss, dis 'ere brain boy is blue, may'he's got some spefel loocky know hows""Y'knowwhat Skar-Rag? Youz right, maybe this brain boy haz a bit mor luck wif havin the trukks not explodin and what nots. Send em ova some boyz, lez see what dis blue brainboy can doz."
>>20109058Orcs would pronounce it as 'Bloo'Bloo-chan...
>>20109049Yeah, or rather, warscooter.
>>20109056>Tau trade with orks>Warboss goes with it>Warboss krumps tau and takes his stuff back the moment their back is turnedBut then the gretchin would still not be in Tau hands, so it's still a no go. Outside of fluff, can't they be "grudging allies"?
>>20109086Yeah, that makes sense. "Da Bloo Grot" then, shortened to "Bloo", or "Blue".Or Blue-chan, if you're that way inclined.
>>20109010>>20109086No Japanese suffixes in my weeaboo space communists!>>20109058This has my support.
>>20108912the tau have a shot on sight order for orks, they believe they cannot be reasoned with and wouldn't do a cultural exchange with the orks.Now if you wanted the gretchin with the tau... well that could work. An overly ambitions gretchin running up towards a tau manta, manages to stowaboard, falls asleep. Wakes up later when the manta is docked to an orbital goes wandering out into the station, gets scene by a tau who is interested in tau alien allies, gets confused to a lost alien child. gets adopted. the grot being a git while a kindly older tau just looks on and shakes his head sadly and provides unconditional love to the terror of a "child". Going so far as to protect the grot from a retired shas'ui who swears its a an ork "who this angel?"(as the grot is busy picking apart a drone. The old kindly tau is so out of his mind he even thinks sometimes that the grot sincerely loves him back. (it doesn't)
>>20109053That's cute, Xeno, but don't play outside for too long, you might catch a cold.
>>20109086I was thinking that, but then I immediately think of Foster's and I imagine that's why no one else has touched that either.
I would make her work with my equally naive techpriest.He'd completely miss her advances, because he's so absolutely obsessed with his machines.Plus, she seems like she's a fairly organized person, so I would make them sleep in the same room, see how her neat-freak works with his absent-minded clutter.They would have a thousand hilarious different interactions on a daily basis, while I record the whole thing and eventually become insanely rich by recording it all and selling it as an amazing new sitcom.
>>20109112>I was thinking that, but then I immediately think of Foster's and I imagine that's why no one else has touched that either.Fuck. Yeah, that.Let's just keep it as "Blue", but "Bloo" if you want to do ork-speak.
>>20109112Then make it Bluu?
>>20109104I like it!
>>20109118>He'd completely miss her advances, because he's so absolutely obsessed with his machines.>impl...imporeor...suggestin an ork o' any flavor, even a bloo one, would fokus on anyfing but da WAAAGH
>>20109104And so, now we have the two ideas, in a different form but both still very workable.This thread is GOLD.
And done for the little sketch, now I have a feel for it, lets see if I can make something a little better
>>20109104I still like the completely out of canon but equally hilarious idea of a tau and an ork meeting up and trading live persons, but this works too.
>>20109130Perhaps.>>20109147I like it, good job on the colouring.
>>20109104Bluu's sidekick right here
I thought Tork was a good name, make Blue the nickname.Don't make it some faggy-ass mispelled blue.
>>20109165>implying "tork" isn't ten times faggier
>>20109153The "cultural exchange" could be that the gretchin stows aboard a manta evading the carnage of the colony where the Warboss first finds Blue, thus tying this whole thing back together if any writefag feels up to the challenge of writing parallel stories.
>>20109165>I thought Tork was a good nameIt was a nice idea, but overall I prefer "Da Blue Grot"/Blue.When do threads on /tg/ start autosaging? I can never remember.
>>20109143Nah, this is just going off of the basic premise, tau slave wat do.Adding the Ork frat-boy roommate is for Season 2.
>>20109172It isn't, at all. It actually sounds Orky, it has an easily explainable origin and it's a mechanical pun to put.It is in fact the objectively superior suggestion, but you might reason 'Blue' is more generic/memorable and better for that reason.>>20109179300 posts.
>>20109183>Nah, this is just going off of the basic premise, tau slave wat do.Nigga, we've moved on.
>>20109165Oi Boss, dis wimpee git's all upidee abowts da werds we's usin. Can I wak im good n proppa?
>>20109172Hey now, as the guy who came up with the name T'ork, I freely admitted earlier in the thread that it was pretty damn faggy. No need to be so mean...
>>20109189tork sounds too rough, manly and barbaric for what is actually a cute little girl, no matter how orky she happens to be.
>>20109189>300 postsWell shit.I guess that means new thread time. Also, someone should put this into the /tg/ archive. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/requestinterface.html
>>20109183>Nah, this is just going off of the basic premise, tau slave wat do.Nigga you are SO far in the past you a dinosaur.>Adding the Ork frat-boy roommate is for Season 2.But anon, the tau girl wat do IS the Ork frat-boy.
>>20109083>BE A ORK.>YAS MUS' BE SIFT AS A SPEED FREEK TRUKKZ>BE A ORK>MUS 'AVE THE FORCE OF A GRET DAKKA>BE A ORK>MUS 'AVE THE STRENGTH OF THE STRONGGIST WAAAGH!>MYSTRIRIS AS THE BRAIN BOYZ LONG AGO!!
>>20109205>tork sounds too rough, manly and barbaric for what is actually a cute little girlWhich is what makes it so great and orky. You've this little tau girl what thinks she's as big as the boss with a name to match.
>>20109205Fuck you and your waifu shit. Name should be Tork.
>>20109218it would make me shiver with slight disgust everytime I'd have to use it.AND it's not rough, manly and barbaric enough to actually contrast in a significant or comical way with what she is. It's just a bad pun.
>>20109238>it would make me shiver with slight disgust everytime I'd have to use it.>AND it's not rough, manly and barbaric enough to actually contrast in a significant or comical way with what she is. >It's just a bad pun.It sounds like an actual Ork name, it's Tau + Ork, and it's a pun (and not even that bad one).Blue is a colour.
Hold on, I'm making a new thread, it'll be up in a minute.
>>20109237Do Orks actually call Tau "Tau"? I don't remember Orks actually calling anyone their actual name except "'umies". I remember them calling Chaos "lads wit da spikey bits".
>>20109253I know they did in DoW, but that's a pretty dubious source.
>>20109247>blue is a colora color she happens to have, and makes her most noticeable feature.it sounds mildly silly, a bit cute, but not outright girly. It's perfect. Tork just give off "HEY GUYS I MADE THIS TOTALLY AWESOME PUN HURK HURK HURK AREN'T I WITTY?" And not from an ork, but from the anon that made it up.
>>20109238>it would make me shiver with slight disgust everytime I'd have to use it.Like any good ork name.>AND it's not rough, manly and barbaric enough to actually contrast in a significant or comical way with what she is. But you just said it was so rough that it would rattle you with disgust. Make up your damn mind.>It's just a bad pun.Bad puns are the best puns.
>>20109283>Tork just give off "HEY GUYS I MADE THIS TOTALLY AWESOME PUN HURK HURK HURK AREN'T I WITTY?" And not from an ork, but from the anon that made it up.Actually, I came up with the name T'ork first, but then I realized it sounded like torque and it made me chuckle a bit, so I thought I'd at least present it to /tg/ and then backed back down when no one agreed with me. I didn't mean to cause this much strife...
>>20109304>>20109304>>20109304New thread. And now I'm going to try to upload this thread to the archive, if I can.
>>20109287Precisely, it's too manly for me to be indifferent to it, but it doesn't cross the line back into non-seriousness.It's like an uncanny valley. It's just awkward.
>>20109311I know, I'm just arguing with the guy who actually thinks it's a good idea.
>>20109283all the orks call her blue, or da blue git, or ya git.She keeps on insisting they call her tork.Only the mek calls her tork, and only in private. and only sometimes. at least she thought he did.
>>20109217WAIT. HOLD ON. Blue probably was feeling a little lost before joining the cultural exchange... Prompting her to sing about it: >"Look at me... >I will never pass for a perfect Tau...>Or a perfect daughter...">Etc.(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A_Rl8aQxII&feature=related)
>>20109320Fair enough.>>20109330I also like this compromise. She tries to give herself a proper orky name and instead everyone just goes "Shaddap an git back ta werk, blue."
>>20109247And orks would go for a simple name which would be her colour.They don't even bother calling tau by their race when they see them most the time because they are just "dose panzees wot don't get stuck in"
>Tau slave what doTurns into>Da Bloo Grot in "MooLan: Da Story of More Dakka"