You are a shreep.
I commit omnicide!
Once, you were a dim animal like all others of your kind, until a chance reaction to your tender's prod freed you from human control!
>>20079343All my dreams have come true!Where are we?
rolled 4, 6 = 10I look for someone to shear meAlternately, I start eating random farm equipment, preferably pitchforks
>>20079343It's like Pokemon, but replace "catch" with "eat".>>20079364Bu... but I wanted to DURRRRRRR.
Having eaten the flesh of man, you found a small amount of intellect now dwelt inside you, and you were able to use your tender's prod to herd the other shreep!
qq we can fit holdable lego items in our ear-things right?what holdable things are around us that we can fit inside them?
With the blood of your tender still on your muzzle a mysterious human appeared, speaking to you in the language of beasts of tales for what might occur if a shreep eats the flesh of man. The stranger, however, cared not about what had transpired, and furthermore promised you a boon...
...which allowed you to make amends with your former tender, a spirit whom you could not see before!
The stranger's gift seemed to have left you with other abilities, including a strange control over reality itself! With this odd power you summoned a horse from nothingness...
>>20079420Eat the spirit and acquire its spirit power
...and rode for the village, to make war on the humans - and assure the ascendancy of shreep!
Now, having stopped to water at the edge of a stone bridge, a pair of fish emerge from the water!
"What are you doing, shreep?" one of them asks in the language shared by all beasts."Where is your tender?" asks the other.
What will you do, shreep?
>>20079492Ask the fish if I can eat them.
rolled 12 = 12Seduce them to join our army.
Fish is the most plant-like of meats. Eat them.
rolled 8 = 8Answer "I am the tender," and will these Fish into Shreep
>>20079492Use my natural Shreep heat-ray vision to cook the fish into a delicious meal for me and my family.
Oh shit, motherfuckers, it's back.
rolled 11 = 11>>20079492>>20079479Drink all the water.
>>20079492Attempt to eat the fish.
>>20079538>>20079535"Do not eat us, shreep!"The fish protest being eaten, but when you bring up the prospect of revolt they eagerly agree!"We will fight with you, shreep, but we cannot leave the water!""We will follow the river and wait near the village for you, shreep," the other says."We will tell you a secret," the first adds. "There is a magical fish that dwells in the village.""But we do not know where it is," the second remarks.
rolled 9 = 9>>20079651If we eat the magic fish, we will gain its power.Ask the fish to recruit more fish. Before going to the village, talk to other shreep and the cows and shit and get them to ally with you.
"If you bring us a barrel we may travel with you," the first says."But we cannot leave the water," the second reminds you.
This fucking thread
rolled 6 = 6>>20079676Nah they should like, chill in the river. I don't even know what we could feed them.
What now, shreep?
I summon Obelisk the Tormentor in attack position.
rolled 12 = 12LAST TIME I ROLLED TO CHECK FOR TRAPS AND GOT A 12!So check that bridge for traps before heading over it!
rolled 1 = 1>>20079704Will a barrel into existance. And maybe a dragon.
rolled 9 = 9>>20079704Make allegiance with other beasts.
rolled 1 = 1>>20079704Create a barrel from the power of love (the barrel should be pink)
>>20079704Summon a Barrel!
>>20079730>>20079724The barrel gods have forsaken us
>>20079724>>20079730God has spoken guys, no barrels tonight.
>obligatory 'barrel roll' joke
rolled 2 = 2>>20079704Begin believing the fish can breath outside of water so hard that the fish actually can breath outside of water. OUR WILLPOWER IS GREATER THAN ANYTHING!
>>20079720Not a single troll or trap on, under or about the bridge escapes your keen shreep sense of smell!
rolled 3 = 3Will for us so we an chill in the river with the fishes
And so you charged forth boldly, leading the herd behind you!
rolled 9 = 9>>20079797No traps?Will a trap into existence then!
rolled 7 = 7Fuse with the fish.
rolled 4 = 4Will the horse/Shreep-Mobile into a barrel!
rolled 7 = 7Shit golden dolphin statues
Past the river you lead the others across the fallow plain. The country is monotonous until a stone structure breaks the green field of grass!Four grey ravens perched atop it peer down at you...
rolled 4 = 4>>20079920Devour them.
rolled 1 = 1>>20079920Ally with them.
>>20079938>>20079947DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS.
rolled 1 = 1>>20079920Time to recite "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe.(Actually don't, I think the dice gods want to turn this quest very silly.)
rolled 11 = 11Ravens are the smartest of the beaked, negotiate with them.
rolled 3 = 3>>20079920Will them to be blue, grey is sooooo LAST season.
rolled 6 = 6>>20079920Ignore them so hard they cease to exist like the 'ghost' and 'dragon'.
"Where are you going, shreep?""Where is your tender, shreep?""Why does that horse follow you?""This was a holy place."
rolled 3 = 3Will some shit!Picture related.
rolled 6 = 6>>20079975>"Where are you going, shreep?"To revolt and overthrow the humans.>"Where is your tender, shreep?"Killed him and stole his stick.>"Why does that horse follow you?"Because I created it.>"This was a holy place."How does that concern a shreep like me?
>>20079962You impress upon the ravens the same words of urgency that led the fish to join under your banner, and they preen for a moment..."You speak of revolt.""You speak of revolution.""The humans are well-armed, shreep.""They will surely kill you if you try."The grey ravens are open to discussion, but cautious to bring themselves against the humans in battle!What will you do now, shreep?
rolled 7 = 7>>20080031Tell them you will raise a host of beasts, and sabotage the arms of the humans.
rolled 1 = 1>>20080031Will them all into dragons, and have them join our army.
>>20080031They will never suspect us. That is why we will win.
NO! BEARSHARK QUEST!!!!!
rolled 9 = 9>>20080031Prove your superiority over the ravens by ignoring the alpha/head-raven so hard that he cease to exist.Alternatively eat him.
rolled 5 = 5Seduce it.If this is not possible, Eat it.If this is not possible, Ignore it.Go.
rolled 9 = 9>>20080031Okay. New plan.You guys fly up, tell us where to find cows and sheep and pigs and horses and dogs and cats and stuff.I'll raise an army.
rolled 3 = 3>>20080031Convince the ravens to find a barrel for you and you will prove your point to them.
>>20080081Suddenly, an idea springs to mind and you use the horse as a stepping-stool to leap onto the roof of the shrine at the alpha raven!Roll a d12 and link to this post!
rolled 12 = 12>>20080170
rolled 2 = 2>>20080170Kick the Raven
>>20080174SHREEP WILLS IT
rolled 11 = 11>>20080174DICE GOD HAS SPOKEN: DO NOTHING AT ALL!At least not until the ravens react.
>>20080170The revolution will bring progress whether they want it or not.Omnomnom
rolled 9 = 9>>20080170>>20080174>>20080207Use willpower.Don't do anything with willpower. Just USE it, and make it *known*.
rolled 8 = 8>>20080174>>20080184>>20080207>>20080238Yeah, use your amazing willpower to do nothing so hard that nothing happens. NOTHING AT ALL!
rolled 1 = 1>>20080266>>20080238>>20080207>>20080174Feels like I'm seconding nothing at all!Nothing at all!Nothing at all.
Shreep, you can never topple Man. if you go too far, they will do this to you.
>>20080174Hurling yourself skyward, you snatch the alpha raven in your jaws as it takes flight!A surprised squawk breaks free...
rolled 12 = 12>>20080306
rolled 8 = 8>>20080320How... how did you do that twice?Anyway, will the head raven out of existence.
...and your army's ranks grow by three!The gray ravens, impressed with your martial prowess, throw their lot in with you and join the banner of shreep!"We will stand with you, shreep.""You are mighty, shreep.""There is a scarecrow near here."What will you do now, shreep?
rolled 1 = 1>>20080346
rolled 6 = 6And we turn black and grow wings.
rolled 5 = 5>>20080346Will us a barrel, not any barrel though, a magical barrel.
>>20080346Go see the cows.
rolled 6 = 6>>20080346Go over to the scarecrow and will it out of existence, if the ravens are amongst our ranks, we must prove we can look out for them!
rolled 5 = 5>>20080346Defeat the scarecrow and gains its scary power
rolled 4 = 4>>20080346ANIMATE SCARECROW >>> KILL CHILDREN.
rolled 7 = 7>>20080346Holy shit I am hungry.See that green stuff you're standing on.Eat that stuff.
rolled 5 = 5>>20080357>>20080359>>20080360>>20080363>>20080369>>20080371>>20080378None of these things conflict. Do all of them.
rolled 6 = 6>>20080346I roll an 8 or higher.
rolled 8 = 8Smalltime
rolled 10 = 10>>20080346Will all your followers out of existence and gain their powers - you shall be alone on your quest to vanquish the humans.
Yep, there's the scarecrow, just like they said!What will you do now, shreep?
rolled 5 = 5>>20080470Not 12 enough
rolled 3 = 3>>20080481That head looks delicious... eat it
rolled 9 = 9>>20080481>What will you do now, shreep?Trippy dream sequence wherein Shreep faces her fears and learns to overcome them
rolled 9 = 9>>20080481acquire a new hat.that hat is boss
rolled 6 = 6>>20080481Will it into mobility. ALL SLAVES OF THE HUMANS SHALL RISE UP.
rolled 4 = 4>>20080481get HATget STUFFINGget POLEwear HATeat STUFFINGequip POLE
rolled 5 = 5>>20080481Believe it to be alive so hard that it becomes alive.
rolled 6 = 6>>20080481Each him. Take his hat. Equip pole.
rolled 1 = 1>>20080481Seduce the scarecrow
rolled 8 = 8GROW WINGS!WILL DRAGON INTO EXISTENCE!LEAD GLORIOUS SHREEP-DRAGON-HERD TO EVERLASTING GLORY!ALL-CAPS, ALL THE WAY!
rolled 1 = 1>>20080571I disagree. We should do the opposite of this.
Smelling the delicious dried pumpkin, you eagerly and frantically paw at the pole until it begins to topple...
rolled 2 = 2>>20080571Will everything out of existence.
rolled 12 = 12>>20080600(/ ^-^)/ gooooooooooal! :>
As you try to nibble on the fallen pumpkin it proves too difficult a task for you, although you come up with something stuck to your head!What will you do now, shreep?
rolled 6 = 6>>20080584But you got a one.>>20080600Will scarecrow alive, offer general's rank in return for head.Equip pole.Then grow wings, will a dragon into existence, etc.
rolled 5 = 5>>20080615You know what would be awesome right about now?Some food.We should eat some grass.
rolled 8 = 8>>20080617Hat. Hat, dammit. Though you already got it. Head still works. Scarecrow becomes Headless Shreepman.You get the pumpkin.Everyone wins.
rolled 6 = 6>>20080615Find a new thing.Eat the thing.
rolled 3 = 3>>20080615Take the scarecrow with us as a spoil of war. We will us it as a gift in the future for... someone.Now we must head to the next group of animals.
rolled 12 = 12>>20080615I legitimately do not know what to do and have no useful suggestion. But I am nonetheless participating anyway.
>>20080615Will open a portal to Minecraftia.Herd Minecraftian sheep to join your Shreep army. Become unstoppable.
rolled 1 = 1>>20080615Will everything, except ourselves, out of existance.
As you ponder your next move, you beckon the others to graze on the stubble grass at your feet.What now?
rolled 11 = 11>>20080615Shitpost and ruin the quest
rolled 7 = 7>>20080652Fuck it, I'm taking this rollGiant crow wings!
rolled 7 = 7>>20080683Ask the crows to find the next group of animals. We must recruit them.
rolled 8 = 8>>20080683>>20080688Make stupid suggestions about willpower like a faggot
rolled 1 = 1>>20080683Open a casino, with blackjack and hookers.
rolled 12 = 12>>20080683Go to the next encounter.
rolled 3 = 3>>20080688>>20080698Yeah, I'm tempted to dismiss you as butthurt, but actually you have a point. Let's keep the randomness and amazing willpower to a minimum and only do it for plot-related tasks (such as dismissing a dragon).That said, march on to the city of mankind.
While the others graze, you consult with the grey ravens."The village is close to here, shreep.""You will find more beasts there.""Perhaps there are more beasts hidden on the prairie."What will you do now, shreep?
rolled 7 = 7>>20080769Eat the prairie
rolled 3 = 3>>20080769Prairie first.
rolled 1 = 1>>20080769We only have 5 animals, we cannot march on the city yet.See if we can find more animals on the prairie. Perhaps we'll find some way to help the fish?
Make scarecrow alive and loyal to you.
rolled 7 = 7>>20080769Search prairie, those farm animals are probably brainwashed idiots.
rolled 5 = 5>>20080810You're a farm animal.
Taking one of the grey ravens with you, you wander out onto the prairie looking for any other animals to seduce to your shreeply cause!Roll a d12 and link to this post, please!
rolled 1 = 1>>20080832Find some cows!
rolled 7 = 7>>20080832Find more things to eat!
rolled 3 = 3>>20080832A link to the post
rolled 8 = 8>>20080832Find animals, impress w/hat
rolled 2 = 2>>20080832Find some predators.
rolled 5 = 5>>20080832Find dragon to recruit!Dem old-school Lego dragons, mang!
rolled 11 = 11>>20080832Find a human and convince it to join you.WE NEED SPIES DAMN IT!
rolled 1 = 1>>20080843Prairie dragon!Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do!
rolled 9 = 9>>20080906Roll to seduce.
rolled 9 = 9>>20080906Seduce it.
rolled 9 = 9>>20080906USE THE HAT FOR SOMETHING
rolled 11 = 11>>20080915>>20080920>>20080922>So many nines.>>20080906Seduce it.
rolled 3 = 3>>20080906I think the rolls:>>20080915>>20080920>>20080922All want you to seduce it. I agree.
rolled 5 = 5>>20080906IMPRESS WITH HAT! THEN SEDUCE! LEAD DRAGON-SHREEP-RAVEN-HORSE-FISH-ARMY TO EVERLASTING GLORY!
rolled 12 = 12>>20080939Nah, we'll need to get more animals first. Plus the fish can't help if we can't get them into the city.
rolled 1 = 1>>20080952You and your twelve speak wisdom. I say, off with the caps, agreed.But could we not maybe try and use the dragon as a figurehead to recruit lesser beasts?
rolled 7 = 7How about ripping its wings off to use for ourself? Maybe attach to ear-things.
rolled 5 = 5
rolled 12 = 12>>20080996FUCK, yes!
rolled 11 = 11>>20080996>>20081006>Oh god my sides.
rolled 4 = 4>>20081006So... we're a female shreep with a dick?
Dragons seduced count: 2This Shreep is better at seducing than certain Futurons we know...
"A shreep taming a dragon... now I've seen everything!"
>>20081007Here. We can use element of surprise and my twelve to grow wings in the height of passion?
rolled 9 = 9>>20081024STEAL HIS AXE AND HIS HATIf he retaliates, eat him.
rolled 3 = 3>>20081024Convince him to join you!
rolled 5 = 5>>20081015Futa sheep. Don't question it.>>20081024Steal his hat, that glorious hat.
Before you stands a woodsman, speaking the language of beasts!"What manner of shreep are you?" he asks, curiously.What will you do, shreep?
rolled 3 = 3>>20081050Re roll for this, I was a bit early>>20081037
rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 12>>20081050SEDUCE!
rolled 8 = 8>>20081050I am the Queen of the Kings of all sheep! How did you learn this language?!
rolled 6 = 6>>20081050Ask for his help making barrels for the fish. He has hands.
rolled 6 = 6>>20081050Reply with a generic shreep sound.
rolled 7 = 7>>20081050I am the pirate shreep!
>>20081102Haha, yes. A cunning plan.
rolled 10 = 10>>20081102THIS!
ALL HAIL LEGO QUESTI seem to have picked an auspicious night to make a post. It's not a battle report, but if you want it, o Lego Questor, here it is.>>20080701
>>20081102That would be DUURRRRRR, friend.
"Hail, your majesty," the woodsman says, tipping his hat. "While you may not have my hat, I would not refuse an order from royalty.""I have no place in the world of men, your majesty. What would you ask of me?""...Anything but my hat," he adds.What will you do now, shreep?
rolled 1 = 1>>20081165Your loyalty and your hands! I require a barrel!
rolled 12 = 12>>20081165Help us make barrels for the fish. They wish to travel with us.
rolled 5 = 5>>20081165Take axe, give to raven. Now we have a nice and dangerous flying ally.Also, ask about barrels.
Grow raven wings and demand he give us the hat
Slipping back into the parlance of shreep, you stare vacantly at him for a moment, then open your muzzle and emit a long, low durr....What now?
rolled 43 = 43>>20081185Forgot to roll
rolled 4 = 4Ask him where we might find some barrels and if he could help carry one.
rolled 10 = 10>>20081194Dur some more while the man makes a barrel for you.
rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 12>>20081199>>Rolled a 43 on a d12DIS NIGGAH!
rolled 2 = 2>>20081194Come back to reality of being the greatest shreep to ever durr. Then ask him for maintenance tips for hats. Perhaps ask him to help you acquire a feather for your hat that you may maintain rank over his glorious hat. Then offer him a position as the commander of your engineers. We need to makes barrels. And possibly stables for the night.
"Barrels, you say?" the woodsman asks. "It so happens I have some not far from here, unused and empty!"
rolled 2 = 2>>20081244>rolling 12d1s>complain about someone rolling 1d100I like your style.
And soon, in hardly the time it takes to durr again, you are reunited with the fish, along with the horse and the other shreep in your impromptu army camp!What will you do now, shreep?
rolled 1 = 1>>20081254Convince him to bring the barrels to the river to recruit the fish.
rolled 8 = 8>>20081254Rolling for this >>20081250 again as smalltalk while we return to our army then he takes us to his barrels. We should also inquire into how he learned our language.
rolled 11 = 11>>20081280Hmm...Will the Scarecrow to life? Having more allies is always nice.
rolled 12 = 12>>20081280Believe there are some more beasts around so hard that they appear... in fact just get another encounter going so we can build up our army, preferably an encounter that may end badly.
rolled 2 = 2>>20081280Huh, how big is the human village/settlement? If it's like 500+ people we should try and recruit more beasts on the prairie. Otherwise, I say we ask the crows to scout out the village, see if there are any weakpoints.Or just eat the village.
rolled 2 = 2>>20081280TO THE VILLAGE!REVOLUTION SHALL BE OURS!
>>20081268Same here. We should totally dive-tackle midgets together some day.
"Here, your majesty," the woodsman says as he pulls a red feather from his coat and pins it to the hat on your head. "A gift."As he does so, you stare at the scarecrow laying prone on the ground, summoning every last vestige of will, but it stubbornly remains inanimate! Tasked with exertion, you feel as though whatever strange powers that mysterious human granted you have diminished...What will you do now, shreep?
>>20081376Rewrite our Genetic code to resemble the rare Mountain Shreep.Except we shall be...GOLD.
rolled 10 = 10>>20081376That dragon is still lookin' mighty fine...
rolled 7 = 7>>20081376Load the shreep up on the dragon, and lets ride to the nearest human house.
rolled 12 = 12>>20081376Damn, I like the feather though. Give the human something in return. Hug him. Then let's continue to a town to rape and pillage.
rolled 7 = 7>>20081385I like this.Make it happen.
rolled 11 = 11>>20081376Try to find more creatures to recruit in the prairie. Also, make sure everyone in our camp realizes that the woodsman is an ally, not food. We need hands.
rolled 1 = 1>>20081376So we can not will things any more?Try to will the scarecrow alive harder.
>>20081402>writes down another 1 on the tally
rolled 10 = 10>>20081376We must ask the woodsman his opinion of humanity and how he came to learn our language. Whether he answers or not, we must send him to recon the closest village. Have the ravens leave 7 minutes later in order to keep an eye on him. While they're out, we must search the prairie.
rolled 6 = 6>>20081455We're putting him in danger if we send him into town. The crows are enough to scout nearly everything we need to know. If we really must send him, we'll know what to send him for.
A short time later you reach the edge of the village!Though a belt of trees hides the dragon's form for the moment, the humans will no doubt notice it as soon as it steps forth from the shelter of their branches!What will you do now, shreep?
rolled 6 = 6>>20081492BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
rolled 8 = 8>>20081492Begin the raping and pillaging.
rolled 4 = 4>>20081492Send the crows to scout out the town, see if we can run a distraction somehow so the dragon can surprise them.
rolled 4 = 4>>20081468There aint no such thing as safety in a time of war, son. Besides, we might be able to find out where his loyalties are. If he goes to the village and wanrs everyone, he's a human sympathizer. If he helps us out, he's one of us.Four Legs Good. Two Legs Bad.
rolled 2 = 2>>20081492Their doom is upon them. Cry havoc, and let loose the shreep of war.
>>20081455"It was years in the wild before I began to understand the tongue of beasts, your majesty," the woodsman tells you. "Long has it been since I've walked among others like myself.""Man can rot for all I care. My fate is with the wild world.">I'll give you a few minutes to discuss strategy!
rolled 5 = 5>>20081492>(Probably not gonna work but whatever)Contemplate upon conquering the city, that through the remains of your amazing willpower, the city walls crumple so they all surrender to you and appoint you the king of the city.
rolled 8 = 8>>20081516No, we have the dragon circle above head to make the town freak out while we move into town and take advantage of the commotion to gather allies.
rolled 4 = 4>>20081540Strategy is this: cry havoc and let loose the shreep of war.
rolled 40 = 40>>20081540Rambo up through the front gates.
rolled 4 = 4>>20081540Use the dragon to breech the walls,then rush through. see if the fish can find the magic fish, we'll need him, no doubt.
rolled 12 = 12>>20081540Bluff the city into submission.
rolled 5 = 5>>20081569Brilliant idea, and roll too, by acquiring the city through bluff we won't lose any of our scarce forces, morale will remain high and we can probably enlist the city militia into assisting us conquering the next!COMMENCE TOTAL INDOCTRINATION!
rolled 7 = 7>>20081522We need hands. So far, he's the only one who can get/make us human stuff, which is really good.>>20081551The dragon is by far our greatest ally in conquest. I doubt there is any force in the city that will be able to match him.
Seizing the moment, you burst forth from the treeline, dragon in tow, and bound across the open plain into the village!The sight of the dragon is too much for the humans in the street, and when the woodsman demands they surrender to the Queen of the Shreep they acquiesce at once!
What will you do now, shreep?
rolled 3 = 3>>20081699Acquire a Bitchin' Cape.As befits Royalty.
>>20081699Claim it as my capital.Sheepmania!
rolled 11 = 11>>20081699Check out the town, see what's in it. Free any animals. Not sure if we should kill the humans.
rolled 8 = 8>>20081699sacrifice humans as tribute
rolled 1 = 1>>20081699FIND MAGIC FISH
rolled 11 = 11>>20081694All according to plan... Commence total indoctrination:1. Reduce the city's production to a minimum save for what the citizens need to be happy.2. Any male who can be spared shall be outfitted and join our army.3. All animals shall be freed to leave or join our army.
>>20081718While the others keep watch over the villagers, you seek out more beasts, and discover a pair of rats and a dog!"War with the humans, shreep?" one of the rats asks quizzically."But they feed us so well!" the other responds."Bad shreep!" the dog barks in its half-human tongue.
rolled 8 = 8>>20081829DESTROY HIM FOR HIS INSOLENCE.THIS MUST NOT STAND.
rolled 4 = 4>>20081841The door of one of the buildings bursts open and a pair of soldiers emerge bearing weapons! Shouting in their incomprehensible human tongue they bear down on the dragon, catching it off-guard!Roll a d12 for whatever you or your army does, shreep!
rolled 4 = 4>>20081841ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!
rolled 4 = 4>>20081861Roll to seduce.
rolled 7 = 7>>20081861Steal the sword, swing it around with our mouth.
rolled 9 = 9>>20081861We shall seduce them as well
>Dragon used flamethrower!>Its super effective!>The soldiers were burned!>The wild soldiers fainted>not really, their dead.>We get a bitching cape
rolled 12 = 12>>20081861The dragon tumbles away!
rolled 4 = 4>>20081861Give up our hat as a peace offering.
>>20081878You raise one hoof lustily, but narrowly avoid losing it altogether as the human slices his sword through the air at you!Rearing up on your hind legs you wave your hooves defensively but the human is implacable!
At the same moment, the other human harries the dragon, prodding at its underbelly with his blade...Suddenly, the human plunges his blade forward...
rolled 4 = 4>>20081949>>20081964>>20081976Headbutt!
rolled 7 = 7>>20081964Roll to realtalk him down
rolled 10 = 10>>20081964Rolling for the dragon to seduce the humans...after it dodges any attacks at it of course.
rolled 10 = 10>>20081976Roll to distract guard fighting dragon, even if it puts me in greater danger
>>20081991Stop seducing everything Shreep, you are no whore
rolled 9 = 9>>20082021WE aren't the Whore.The rest of the World just needs to know their place.
...the dragon leaps out of its path just in time!
rolled 5, 10 = 15Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, shreep!Roll another d12 for the dragon too!
rolled 7 = 7>>20082054Pull off a sweet combo move with the dragon to take out both guards
rolled 11 = 11>>20082061And the dragon too
rolled 4 = 4>>20082054Dragon: Flank guard that is attacking our Shreep!
rolled 1, 4 = 5>>20082054SHREEP: VOICE OF COMMANDDRAGON: FIRE BREATH
rolled 7, 10 = 17>>20082054Kick the one with the shield in the family jewels. Have the dragon eat the other one.First roll for us, second for the dragon.
>>20082054Rolling for THE shreep:Disarm the guard with the nasty sneer.
rolled 8 = 8>>20082080Forgot the roll...
rolled 7 = 7>>20082080Rolling for the dragon:Continue to distract the other guard from afar while...
rolled 1, 1 = 2>>20082054Use some sweet Kung-Fu moves>Sorry can't do that.Uhm... jiu-jitsu?>Sorry can't do that.Seduce them then?>Sorry can't do that.FUCK IT!Sheep shits on them (roll 1) while the Dragon toast them with his fire breath (roll 2)!
rolled 3 = 3>>20082092...The other animals dogpile and disarm the guard with a shield.
>>20082101>rolled snake eyes.Put the dice down, son.
rolled 12, 9 = 21Both Shreep and Dragon seduce the guards.
rolled 10, 8 = 18>>20082123Rolling to put down dice.
>>20082125Damn it, highest role for the seducing. stop it!
>>20082159Never.Think of Our Shreep as an Elder God, and the rest of this world as the womb from which our Star-Spawn will be birthed before spreading across the cosmos.
>>20082061>>20082070In a move belaying its size, the dragon leaps from the roof and plunges downward, swiping its tail out as it does so!The human is knocked far into the air!
The next instant the other human rushes you and you fall back, kicking your hooves out and propelling him upward...
Straight into the waiting jaws of the dragon!
rolled 11 = 11>>20082226Give him a final chance to surrender. Keep an eye out for the other human as he may try to attack.
Suddenly, your attention is drawn to the sound of a human voice!
A pair of armored humans!
rolled 4 = 4>>20082287But...we weren't about to burn a witch...
rolled 10, 6 = 16Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do!And roll another d12 for whatever your allies do!
rolled 1 = 1>>20082297>travelling with a women who gussies herself up>missing a handWelp, that's bound to happen.
rolled 9 = 9>>20082311Take note of the heraldry they display. Ask them of their purpose here as your party encircles them.
>>20082332"Their purpose?" the woodsman asks, baffled. "Your majesty, those are paladins of Ahn! They are the law in this land!"
rolled 8 = 8>>20082412The law? Well what do they want with us? And since when do paladins have such a fast response time?
rolled 2, 5 = 7Just as he says this the dragon shrieks in pain as one of the swords finds its belly and strikes true!Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, shreep! And roll a d12 for the dragon too!
>>20082430>And since when do paladins have such a fast response time?It's not a very big village.
rolled 7, 10 = 17>>20082431RODEO THE PALADINS
rolled 4 = 4>>20082431OH HELL NO! THEY DID NOT JUST HIT OUR WOMAN!Rolling to get angry. REAL angry. Lets see what sort of shit happens to their soft, fleshy bodies encased in metal cans when we get angry.
rolled 7, 3 = 10>>20082431shreep:flank closest paladindragon:flame on
>>20082431Oh shit! It's the pal pal!Dragon shrugs off the attack due to it's DRAGON SKIN and breathes fire on them.Sheep-y steals a sword and haves at them!
rolled 4, 1 = 5>>20082431Dragon collapses and traps the attacker under him, her legs broken.Shreep kicks the other one in the jewels.
rolled 1, 7 = 8>>20082457Whoops.
rolled 5 = 5>>20082431Rolling for the dragon to turn around and whip/crush them with her tail.
>>20082447Enraged by the wound inflicted on the dragon, you pounce and tackle the human from behind!Distracted, the other human is an easy target for the dragon to pin down as well!
"Look what I found in the armory," the woodsman chuckles as he binds the two humans together!
And so the fell shreep looked upon the army of beasts it had gathered... an army that grew more unstoppable with each passing hour.
>>20082548Proof that anything can be solved with a well applied rodeo check.
rolled 7 = 7>>20082607Wait...where's the horse?Things that need to be done:Tend to your dragon's wound(s).Have the army spread out and search for the magical fish. Question the townsfolk if need-be.Put out one of the female-paladin's eyes infront of the male-paladin and begin to interrogate them. Water-board as needed.(Why yes, I did work at Guantanamo Bay once-upon-a-time.)
I think the woodsmen has earned some weapons and armour.
"And thus was the kingdom of Ahn plagued by the fell shreep, and the army that it had raised."
>>20082780Fucking wizards. No sense of right or wrong.
"Let that be a lesson to you, girl. Never let a shreep stray far, lest woe befall us all.""Will you tell me the rest of the story?"
"No. Go to bed."
rolled 8 = 8>>20082780>>20082817>>20082830QUICK! Sheep, manifest yourself into reality from the story!
rolled 7 = 7Roll to will the story back into existence!
Oh boy, dem dragons!This was a pretty fun game to run; I hope you all had fun playing along!In case anyone is wondering (and I doubt anyone is), Ahn was already named in a previous Lego Quest episode:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13915400/
>>20082887Haha we are the Fell Shreep.Lego Quest is sitting back going "just as planned."
rolled 9 = 9Interesting quest today LQ. Are you going to continue this particular one at all?
>>20082912>rolled 9 = 9>Interesting quest today LQ. Are you going to continue this particular one at all?Maaaaaaybe! I'd like to finish up Endman's latest adventure on Troparctica first, and there's those Legonauts that were demanding more of After the Brick......and I'd like to see about the sequel to BLOCKOUT......and maybe more of the Apprentice......by the end of August.
>>20082640And yes, before I forget to post it, you can read most of the past LQ episodes in the suptg archives:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Lego%20QuestDon't forget to check out the Lego Quest wiki!http://legoquest.wikia.comIt's chock-full of stupid stuff about your favorite characters!
I was kind of hoping we'd become the yellow things from Spaceman. Ah well.Take this, everyone! Especially you, LQ.