3.5 moaned as Mike Mearls ran his dexterous, dice-hardened fingers down 3.5's firm, supple back."I missed you," she whispered."Me too, baby," Mearls replied, caressing the small of 3.5's back. He was gentle, like the kiss of an angel. "Me too."3.5 shivered. She wanted him back, but..."You hurt me. You said I was too imbalanced. You said you didn't like my obfuscated text. You said..." 3.5 looked away. "You said you wanted good game design.""I know, baby," Mearls said, stroking her hips. "But that was just a phase. I changed my mind. I want you back. I want...""Mikey..." 3.5 closed her eyes."I want verisimilitude," he whispered into her ear.
3.5's eyes widened, ever so slightly. Mearls knew he could win her back, then. He had to. He didn't want to try new things any more. Change had been scary. Uncertain. He wanted to go back to the good old days."I'm sorry I changed. I don't want to try any more. I want to go back to sacred cows. Back to nostalgia. Back to FEEL."He slid his hands down and gently stroked her bottom. 3.5 smiled and rested her head on his shoulder."Does this "feel" like D&D?" Mearls slid his fingers into her panties."Mikey..." 3.5 gasped.Mearls pulled back. "Too forward?"3.5 took a deep breath and closed her eyes."No, I want this."Mearls smiled and slid his hand around to the front. "Does it feel like D&D NOW?"3.5 turned around, placed her hands on Mearls' shoulders, and made out with him.
It was a long, deep kiss. Mearls' tongue explored every nook and cranny of her mouth, because exploration was one of the pillars of D&D. Their lips ground together like the grognards Mearls wanted to win back against Paizo's leg.Roll for erection. A 16... success.3.5 smiled. "Is that a fighter in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?""I cast an erection spell that makes fighters useless," Mearls said. "It's okay, though. They can roleplay."3.5 smiled happily. "Oh, Mearls, you've still got it..."3.5 undid Mearls' belt of grognardkind - it gave the wearer a +4 competence bonus on Charisma checks to convince toxic customers you were catering to them - and slid his trousers to his ankles before reaching for his rod of wonder.For old times' sake, Mearls rolled for sexy. A 20. This encounter was going to be erotic as fuck.Mearls laid 3.5 back on her bed - everything in her apartment was an outdated antique that fell apart if you tested it, but he liked that about her - and slid her dress over her head. Her soft, round DD20s heaved gently in the night air."Are you sure about this?" Mearls asked, gently brushing his fingers against her associated mechanics.3.5 nodded. "I want you to be immersed in me."
Our Spiritual Liege, Matt warcl approves of this and is furiously wanking
There was a time for sexy talk, and there was a time for making a Perform check to immerse yourself deep inside 3.5's tables. Mearls rolled an 18 and immersed the hell out of her with hard thrusts of his dice."Tell me," 3.5 gasped. "Tell me what I want to hear.""4E is an MMO," Mearls panted. "It's an MMO battle miniatures card game!""Keep going!" 3.5 tumbled towards her climax like a gorilla who was also a Blues Brother. I'm not sure where I was going with that.Mearls nodded. "It's an... immersion-breaking... card game... with disassociated mechanics! It's too complex! It's dumbed down for babies! IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE D&D!"They finished as one, in a flurry of sweat and nostalgia.
Afterwards, they cuddled."I love you, baby," Mearls said, gently caressing her ears. It was kind of a thing with him."I love you too," 3.5 whispered. "Are you sure I'm not too old for you? 4E looked so young and polished... and balanced..."Mearls gently cupped 3.5's face and stared into her eyes. "Forget about her. There's such a thing as too balanced. I see that now. Design is for video games. I need nostalgia. Will you be my D&D Next?"3.5's eyes sparkled as she lapsed into a silence that like eternity."Yes!" she shouted.Mearls cried tears of happiness.THE END
I don't even know anymore
that made me happyand not in the sexy kind of wayand not in the humor kind of wayyou really love her dont you op?captcha: since terndan
Oh OP, you crack me up.
Oh God, it's beautiful.
What the fuck did I just read?
fapfic thread?fapfic thread.
>>19963016no don't ruin this thread
OP, I am completely gay and/or straight for you, depending on gender and/or preference.
What's next, a short story? how about one where the pure and virtuous 4e is assailed by nasty unhygienic grognards pointing out her 'flaws' like being too pretty and too successful, only for her to beat them in a bout of challenging (but not too challenging) tactical grid based combat. I'll be waiting OP, you have a gift for supremely butthurt extended metaphors.
>>19962806>"Keep going!" 3.5 tumbled towards her climax like a gorilla who was also a Blues Brother. I'm not sure where I was going with that.
>>19963048>butthurt 3aboo detectedIt's okay, I'm sure Mike Mearls will give you a reacharound if you ask nicely.
>>19962913Whoever fucking save this I hate you so much fucking shit im so mad fuck
>>like a gorilla who was also a Blues Brother. I'm not sure where I was going with that.I cracked up at this line.
More people need to experience OP's creation.
Excellent story.Makes me want to play DnD after a long break. Play 3.5, of course, as I hate shitty 4e.
http://challengerating25.blogspot.com/2012/07/im-helping.htmlThe faggot who made this has some sort of axe to grind with like, half the fandom and the devs. He's also one of the assholes who went after Desborough.
>>19964055Oh yeah, that shit. He lead the whole censorship bullshit thing. Guess we're only allowed to play games he and his white knight buddies approve of!
>>19964379What kind of censorship?
>>19964426"If your game isn't PC enough for us, we'll boycott your publisher until they stop releasing it." All because one lady was offended by it and half the internet leapt to her defense.
>"I cast an erection spell that makes fighters useless," Mearls said. "It's okay, though. They can roleplay."I will never forget this story.10/10, would read again, best erotica I've ever encountered, classy as fuck, enjoyable, great, the best.
>>19964451Which lady was this? This is the first I've heard about this censorship thing.
>>19964476http://quidsquared.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/how-not-to-handle-a-pr-crisis-mongoose-edition-2/This one, who was aggressively misquoting Desborough when contacting Mongoose, and then whines that they have a bad reaction to her lying...
>>19964055Whatever else the author may have done before, it's forgiven.
Epic bread has been capped
>>19964624Missed the a bit of the last part.
>>19964624Fuck. Reposting as I fucked that one up apparantly
>>19964648Don't know what happened there. Ah well, fixed version is up now
>>19964592In a truly ridiculous turn of events, the author was Big Boy Blue...
No other board has this amazing ability to anthropomorphize inanimate objects or even concepts in such a sexy way.I rather enjoyed our little game of pretend, OP. You are a noble carrier of a proud tradition.
>>19964716>'I've heard your bones are on the inside. I've... always wondered what it would be like to have a... bone inside mewould marry/10 literature
OP joins a grand line of /tg/ geniuses.
>For old times' sake, Mearls rolled for sexy. A 20. This encounter was going to be erotic as fuck.
>>19964716Read OP's tale, followed by this.Mind thoroughly blown.
>>19965046/tg/ - You Just Don't Need The Other Boards At All
mfw this story
>DesboroughStop defending whiny manchildren who don't understand censorship or free speech you fucks, nothing Desborough has written approaches the OP's glory
>>19965440It's pretty much the same, some jokes about sex, except in this fuckface's case, people are praising him, and it's somehow "bad" when Desborough does it.
OP did this just so he could fish for reaction images, didn't he?
>>19966581If he did, it's working!
rolled 29 = 29
Man I don't even know what to think.
It's not uncommon that no reaction image that I have would be an appropriate response. However, this is the first time that nearly every image would be appropriate.
Can we get a lesbian one where 3.5 makes out with her cute twin Pathfinder?
>>19966511I have no idea what you're trying to say here. Oh well, bump for epic bread.
>>19962791"I'm sorry I changed. I don't want to try any more. I want to go back to sacred cows. Back to nostalgia. Back to FEEL."