Hey, TG. Let's create a randomized Imperial Guard regiment using the Only War rules. Going with the first roll after OP posts. First off, I need a d8.Captcha>emperors ycessthI think we already have a name.
rolled 8 = 8>>19639982It's /tg/, get it right.Rolling.
>>19639982The problem with this is that we may or may not go beyond the 12-point limit.
OP here. I do what I want.Next, can I get a d10?>Don't know why I typed TG instead of /tg/
rolled 1 = 1>>19640010Sure.
rolled 6 = 6
Looking pretty good so far. Now, I need another d8. As far as going over the point limit, I want to see how this turns out before doing concerning with that.
rolled 8 = 8>>19640047
Looking... strangely familiar so far, heh heh. I'll need another d8.
rolled 5 = 5>>19640069
Alright, I'll need another d8.This regiment is actually looking pretty cool. Might have to use 'em myself in Only War.
rolled 8 = 8>>19640132Your wish is my command.
rolled 6 = 6>>19640132
rolled 7 = 7>>19640142God winter, all dem crits.
>>19640158I seem to warp probability by just existing.
Finally, I'll need a d100. Then I'll post the results for the crunch of the regiment.
>>19640025>>19640142>>19640052>>19639995Four fing crits, Crazy man, just crazy.
>>19640173Hmm that sounds a lot like heresy.
rolled 96 = 96>>19640180
>>19640184Maybe I'm a low level psyker or something.
>>19640199It would explain why I seem to alternate between REALLY GOOD LUCK, and then Shit On By God.
>>19640190Fritz rolling a near crit 100? what the fuck OP, your stealing all the luck, we need that in TGquest tonight!
>>19640210Nah. If Lookout rolled that high, THEN I'd start getting worried.
rolled 15 = 15>>19640210Generally I don't roll too bad.
>>19640223Oh dice you so crazy.
>>19639982Newfags can't roll. Also why is that lasgun guy wearing flamer tanks?
>>19640231That's a space marine pack
>>19640244Oh. Question still stands.
So, we have >Schola Progenium +3 pts(+3 Willpower, +3 Weapon Skill/Ballistic Skill, trained in CL: Imperial Guard, CL: Imperial Creed, CL: Imperium, CL: War, and can speak High Gothic)>Bilious Commander +2 pts(Paranoia starting talent)>Siege Infantry +2 pts(+3 Toughness, -3 Intelligence, Tech-use as starting skill, Nerves of Steel starting talent, one M36 Lasgun + Six charge packs per player character, one suit of imperial guard flak armor per player, one respirator per player, four empty sandbags, entrenching tool, and two frag + two photon flash grenades per player)>Hardened Fighters +2 pts (+2 Weapon Skill, Streetfighting talent, can replace melee weapon with Primary weapon of common availability, or may make melee weapon mono)>Warrior Weapons +3 pts(Parry as starting skill, exchanges main weapon for low-tech weapon of common or better availability + Laspistol and two charge packs)And for extra Equipment we have>Presense Goggles +15 pts(Holy shit yes)So far, looks... Well, a bit strange. I almost get sort of a kamikazee-ish vibe from them- You know, moreso than normal Imperial Guard. What do you think, /tg/?
>>19640334Trying to make nbc gear?
>>19640342Well technically the Japanese ww2 soldier was the original imperial guard because that banzai thing they yelled was basically for the emperor.
>>19640380OP 'ere. That's actually kinda interesting, and I don't know how I didn't see that before.
>>19640342So schola-trained, with a blowhard commander, siege-trained, but with strong melee ability?These guys are urban linebreakers of some kind but how do we justify the sandbags?
>>19640405They break through lines then dig in until re-enforcements arrive.
>>19640405Standard imperial guard equipment, hold our huge balls of steel so they don't bounce around.
>>19640380Technically it meant "ten thousand years", meant as a well-wishing to their emperor though (as in "may the emperor live ten thousand years").
>>19640442The gist of it was for the emperor though.
Hey, mind tossing up screenshots of the chart OP?
Book is allegedly here:http://www.4shared.com/office/fAjyMW4Y/Only_War_Beta__OCRBookmarks_.html?though I haven't been able to download yet since I'm at work.
>>19640452An even closer cry was the one that was shouted by imperialist forces during the Bakumatsu: "Sonno Joi" ("Revere the Emperor, expel the barbarians").
>dat omni-scopeMy Dark Heresy assassin would kill for one of those.
>>19640497Wish they'd picked a better site.
>>19640539Sorry man. Only one I've got an account at.
>>19640539OP here. Mediafire work?http://www.mediafire.com/?42almch0rmt8dt6
rolled 3 = 3>>19640539http://www.mediafire.com/?42almch0rmt8dt6Zeep Zoop zoobity bop
>>19640596Copycat. Anyway, OP here again. Back to the topic, I like the idea of urban linebreakers who break through and dig in. Now, third color post under this determines colors. Anything from bright pink to Death Korps grit-color.
Has anyone made Selous Scouts yet?
>>19640633OP here. After re-looking over the stats, I would almost say darker colors, like maybe a dark red or a dark vomit brown color, and the accents in dark gray.
Oh, shit, I also forgot. I need one more d100 for percentage of the regiment that are psykers.
rolled 97 = 97>>19640809GO GO ALL PSYCHIC DEATH KORPS!
>>19640826So there's also a shit-ton of Psykers. Got it. Finally a d6 for Psychic discipline.
>>19640826>97% psykersDo not deploy this regiment within 50 light-years of a Black Templar fleet.
rolled 1 = 1>>19640874Hoping for fire.
>>19640884Nope. Their specialty is Biomancy, it seems. Pretty cool, still!
Anyone ever made IG themed after the Rhodesian army?
>>19640875>97% psykersAhahaha, oh wow
>>19641027The 3% that aren't are commanding officers/Commissars/wranglers for the Psykers.
I suggest a forest green as the color
>>19640809>>19640826Is this a joke, or are you actually reading this right?You roll a percentile dice, and the result is the percentage of the entire regiment that are psykers?Is the regiment generation system really that fucking retarded?
>>19640826We would like to have a word with you, Arch-Magos
>>19641112It's a joke. I stopped using the charts after that long greentext thing. That would just be ridonkulous.
>97% psykers>biomancers>regeneration, toughness, strength, unrelated shenanigans>mfw
>>19641112I'm at work, so I can't look at my PDF, but yeah, that CANNOT be right.I hope so very much that's not right.
>>19641150>Right? No.>AwesomeJust maybe yeah
>>19641142...right, so what's the point in this thread?If you want to have a thread about some super psychic corps in 40k, just do that. Don't guise it in an effort to get people not telling you its shitty fanfic.
>>19641165>Implying any of this was planned/not randomized
>>19641165>The entire fucking threadClearly you haven't read it. This is all due to the mischief of the RNG.
>>1963998297% percent psykersSHIT SON WE PSI-OPS NOW
>>19641233Except OP just went something along the lines of "roll d10 to see how many Imperator Titans we have".Just because you rolled for it doesn't mean it makes sense.
rolled 4 = 4>>19641266rolling
>>19641240My god. Someone else knows that game.
So wait, did a Black Ship convoy get attacked and they decided to arm the cargo?
>>19641291I love you.
>>19641334That sounds like one of the few semi-plausible origin stories.
>>19641334Renegade psyker regiment. Alright (that may or may not have hijacked 4 Imperator Titans)
>>19641360I'm torn between hating this regiment and loving it.
>>19641334Christ, I can imagine the captain of the Black Ship afterwards.>"FIRST OFFICER, THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA">ward shoeinCaptcha is trying to tell us something about who's idea this was....
>>19641360fuck renegades, a black ship crash landed and its cargo spilled out on to a war torn world, cobbled together by some arsehole general and his Commisar squad, they formed this assortment of freaks and odd balls into a deadly urban fighting force. When the Inquisition arrived several years later, the general said the ship had gone down with all hands and there were no survivors. The regiment was swiftly shuffled on to the next war zone before the Imperium at large could work out what they had done.
>>19641436Fuck me, this thread is gold.
>>19641450We have 4 Imperator Titans lying about to account for. I doubt the admech handed them over out of good will.
>>19641519We ran into a Blood Ravens "Penance Crusade" and "gifted" them to us?
man, this regiment would kick so much ass for the 45 minutes they were around before they exploded into daemons.
>>19641546Seems legit.Now we need a name for our psychic rape train
>>1964156321st Pavonis Regiment.
>>19641563The "We clearly didn't put much thought on it" Honorific Order
>>19641563132nd exploding brains?
>>19641563And someone to draw this shit.
>>19641594THE FIGHTIN' BRAINS!
>>19641594>>19641590These sound more like our Regiment's commendations and honors than its name.
Uniform something like this. Perhaps in gray.
Warriors of the Imperial Guard rejoice, for the First and Only Psyker Regiment has arrived to reinforce you!We are heroes of a hundred worlds and the destroyers (VIA accidental daemonic incursion) of only 10!
>>19641652Going by statistics alone, every 1 in 50 psyker-guard would get perils at any one moment in combat. This would mean that the battle might be awesomely one, or suddenly daemons everywhere. Either you really win, or really, really lose. I love this regiment.
>>19641693>Awesomely oneAwesomely WON, rather
"CRUSH HERETICS WITH YOUR MIND""JOIN THE GUARD TODAY"Psychic transport Drivers and PilotsPsychic fighter PilotsPsychic Tank Commanders
>>19641634I think white's pretty cool. This is the only regiment I could imagine with the balls to wear white fatigues.
>>19641693Sorry fellow Guardsmen, Bob's head just exploded and there's bloodletters running amok. Oops, there's go Jim.Looks like we're not going to be the heroes of this world. ah well, shit happens.
>>19641704Drive me closer, I want to blast them with psychic lightning!
>>19641709I UNDERSTAND NOW.The throwaway tactics of the Guard have become an art form with EXPLODING PSYKER-BOMB INFANTRY.
>>19641733Holy shit, we ARE kamikazes.
Yo, IG High Command, why do you always deploy us on backwater worlds or invasions of xenos worlds?Why can't we ever help defend crucial planets like Armageddon? or Maccagre?
>>19641733This is becoming better and better in every post
>>19641771>and then a daemonette crawled out of his asshole
>>19641771>"YOUR, uh. TALENTS! Are too grand to be wasted sitting defending whilst the enemies of the Imperium run rampant! We need YOU to take the fight to THEM!">(Whilst we sit behind a very thick wall preferably a very, very long away away)
>>19641771Send them all to Maccagre, say it is to train them under the Ultramarines' superior librarians.
OP here. I left for a half hour and come back to this. Damn it /tg/, you're all crazy. Keep going.
So a black ship crashlands on a planet, it's cargo armed and lead by a angry general and his comissar squad, they somehow ninjad 4 titans, and their tactics involve getting into close combat, and doing psychic bomb kamikazes?Meing.Gott.
What will this glorious regiment be called?
>>19641820I vote 'The Emperor's Powder-Kegs'
>>19641835That's their nick name.
>>19641829Vote cast for 140th Membranes
Someone's here to crash the party
>>19641829Psyker's First and Only.They can't be the hundred and whatever unless there are a hundred only psyker regiments running around
>>19641858Tru dat. I just grabbed a number out of the air to make it sound Guard-y. So the 1st Membranes?
>>19641852Motion seconded, proceed to the floor. We need a drawfag in here.
>>19641868I like the Exploding Brains idea from earlier.
>>196418581st That Regiment
666th Psyker Regiment.
>>19641868Their motto is "Insane in the Membrane"Captcha: Art, TngstradWell I suppose this is technically art.
How about a regiment from a world that also manufactures some of the IG's las-guns? It's known for its' gun enthusiasts and hunting is its' most popular hobby. The guardsmen from this world are above-average shots, fielding more Stormtroopers than most regiments.
That feel when the Halvanis IV Incident. Our regiment's first and thus far only contact with the Tyranids.What a sad day that was for our regiment.
>>19641900Shut up, we already have a regiment, siege psykers. Hey that is a good name, the 1st Siege Psyker Regiment.
>>19641880Their helmets don't keep enemy bullets out, they keep the brains in!
>>19641829>>19641835>>19641868"Is this vox-caster on? Uh, right.Today was my first day in the Membranes. One of the older guys said we were called the "Emperor's Powder-Kegs" but I think he was just trying to frighten me. I mean, we're well trained, no-one's going to actually explode, right? The camp's actually pretty nice, we've got plenty of rations, and not the usual corpse-starch stuff either, I mean actual food. I haven't had proper meat since throne knows how long.I took a stroll around the camp today. It was pretty peaceful, apart from the occasional screaming, and the odd mad gibbering, but I mean, that's the danger of being a psyker, right? The Commissar I mentioned it to said they'd be taken care of as quickly as possible. That made me feel much better. I talked with some of the guys, they're a good lot, far as I can tell. Not what the propaganda says psykers are like at all. I played some cards with some of the other troops and then the call came for lights-out. I'm looking forward to my first combat operation.Now, if only I could get the voices to SHUT UP!"
>>19641931[spoiler]wut is a vox-caster?[/spoiler]
Commissars are also Psykers who can perform psychic BLAMMINGsAlso, a Code-15 is an emergency code that has the entire regiment pack up and leave within 15 hours. It's used when a Black Templar Crusade comes within 50LY
>>19641951now I dun goof'd a big time
>>19641951Term used for speaker / radio / message systems in 40k, come to think of it. I suppose a better 40k term would be vox-recorder? Whatever.
Regiment Name: The Emperor's Fulminant Cerebellums
>>19641931The twist? The voices are just the people on the other end of the vox caster. He is just stupid and doesn't know how a vox caster works.
>>19641966How do they get reinforcements?I mean they are still imperial guard, massive losses are their trademark.
>>19641982Ok, I lol'd.Polite sage for not contributing
>>19641966You mean a Code Black
>>19641921Mass Effect did it.
>>19641990fresh off the Black Ships
>>19641990They randomly hold up black ships for the lulz and reinforcements.
I don't mind the regiment of psykers, but the 4 Imperator Titans is really googlying my eyeballs.Oh my god-empra, aren't most psykers taken by the Imperium young kids? We have a regiment of Akiras, people. There's no way this wouldn't be hilarious.
>>19641990Is it possible to clone psykers? I mean, they can clone nulls to turn into Culexus Assassins, so why not psykers? Just have the place have fucktons of warding, and have it run by nulls, and you're golden!
I am witnessing magic at work.
>>19641963"Deliperonacus and Carofelaferrocus said I was a very bad person today. I told the Medicae about them, he said to wear this special helmet he gave me, it's all shiny on the inside. Deli and Caro are both gone now. I got a really good nap around midday, without them both telling me to do things. I met another trooper earlier, Hera. She's really nice. I spent the afternoon chatting with her, but when I told my new friends about her during poker, they all went really quiet. Said she's an 'odd one'. I don't know what they mean by that, they wouldn't tell me anything else. Anyway, the order's come through that we're on the way to the frontline! Apparently foul xenos are attacking a holy Imperial forge world nearby, and we're the closest regiment. I haven't seen proper combat since I was bumped through Mental Conditioning when I mentioned my voices to the Medicae in Basic Training, but I've been told it's really exhilarating."
>>19641982Fuck you how do you get Ritz crackers out of a keyboard
>eldar nearby>1st Emperors Membranes arrives>Eldar collectively shit themselves.
>>19642062>Fighting rebel humans>Rebels turn out to be aligned with chaos>Daemons summoned>Shit gets real
>>19642034>he said to wear this special helmet he gave me, it's all shiny on the insideTinfoil hatsMy god, it's so straightforward, I love it
So wait. Suppose I wanted to actually houserule and make these guys as a regiment.1) Everyone except the command squad has perils of the warp and psyker powers. I expect my army to lost 1/5 of its mass every turn.2) What do they look like? White and grey lab coats with tinfoil hats?
>>19642087Who summoned them? The rebels, or the psykers?
>>19642087>Commissar, the heretics just summoned a Daemon!>AND?!>SEVEN MORE JUST EMERGED FROM SECOND SQUAD'S COLLECTIVE SKULLS
>>19642130"Damnit!Fine, gather 7th squad and tell them "pickled eggs", I've been slowly getting them to have a collective nightmare at the sound of the word, this is just the right time to fire it at those heretic bastards"
somebody archive this, tinfoil hats tipped the balance.
Oh man, someone's gotta be writing all this down.>writers hoitestYes Captcha, they are.
Someone write AAR piece of this regiment attacking Tau forces attacking IG attacking rebels attacking forgeworldwhich is also being attacked by orksjust something, this is awesome
>>19642034>>19642151"Thing's have been getting WEIRD, servo-skull. The voices have stopped, thanks to the Medicae's shiny hat, but I'm noticing all kinds of weird things happening. The worst was today on the ship to Phobius IV, that's the forge-world we have to defend, and me and Hera were chatting over dinner rations. She asks me "so what did you have for breakfast, Derik?" And I says, "Slaughterbeast and pickled eggs", and she starts shaking all over, and then picks up her fork and starts stabbing her hand with it saying it was "full of spiders!"Well I made myself scarce quick-as. She's pretty, but I don't do crazy girls. Well, maybe that one time, but not as a matter of course.We'll be at Phobius four soon, I'm really excited!"
>>19642236Keep up the good work, soldier.
in summation:The regiment is the 1st Emperor's Membranes, colloquially known as the Exploding Brains. An Inquisitorial Black Ship crashed on a small forge world, where the remaining figures of authority were almost entirely dead save for the IG regiment command already on the planet. The psykers freed from the ship were absorbed into the regiment, with many of the former soldiers being moved into command positions, including the commissariat, to better watch over their psychic charges. This huge upsurge in the psychic gene has bred true for the citizens of the forge cities ever since, resulting in an unprecedented 97% psyker population within the regiment - a smaller percentage exists within the population at large.
I move that the squad's motto be the following:>Unpredictability leads to both victory and death.Also, delusions of grandeur, delusions of grandeur everywhere.
>>19642236>oh god, it's full of spiders
They have me loading the ammunition. It's scarier than you might think, though. Picking up those shells with your brain, positioning them in the main guns, and closing the hatch sounds simple and easy. It's not.We lost 4 last week. Not to enemy fire, we're in pretty good over. They just turned inside out, or their brain melted out of their skull. The gun goes quiet for a minute, then the commissar is there, putting round after round into your dead buddy's skull so's he don't get possessed. Each time I lift a shell, I think; it could be me next time. Does it hurt? Am I dead before I feel it? But they tell us that the empire saves our souls. That we need to keep doing our part. So I load the guns. For the Emperor.
>>19642293Damn my inability to type.Cover* and Emperor*
>>19642236"We landed today. In the space port on the northern continent. My poker buddies are all gone, they're in 4th squad and I'm in 9th. I wish I could go in sooner but the Commissar said us rookies need to hang back and let the older guys do the work. I don't know why. We're not crazy, but I've seen 1st squad guards trying to graft their lasguns onto their own arms. I even heard one was halfway succesful, 'fore the powerpack exploded.I have to say, servo-skull, that I came into this thinking the wrong thing, y'know? The ship here showed me that we're different from your normal IG regiment... none of the guys at training tried to swallow themselves whole or bash the windows saying "Someone help, the sun's coming to get me!"Maybe some of them are a bit crazy. But I'm not. Especially not with my special hat."
Playing cards in this regiment would be the worst way to gamble."Behold! Four Primarchs and an Emperor. Four of a kind! The pot is mine.""Not so fast, Azrai! I too have four Primarchs, and a fifth! Five of a kind beats you!""Hah! Both of you are folish! I have three Emperors, and two Primarchs...but the Primarchs are now double-sided! That means I've four Primarchs and two Emperors! An extended full house. Fork over the pot.""You cheater! WITNESS YOUR DOOOOOOOOM!""But there's only supposed to be two Primarchs in the deck!
>>19642422Oh god my sides.>YOU CHEATER! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvZiv5V4GeI
>>19642171>>19642218>>19642275>>19642422An abstraction of Membrane training camps:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duVq7cXWcYw&feature=relmfu
"I've got good news, bad news and really bad news. The bad is 4th squad just exploded when they got too close to those slaneeshi cultists summoning site. Good news is they exploded into khorne daemons, and those bastards hate slaneesh nearly as much as we do. The really bad news is they won, are now really angry, and appear to have some collars of psychic defence."
>>19642469"The hell is that Eldar doing.......THE HATS! EVERYONE GET YOUR HATS ON! PERILS INCOMING"
>>19642293>Heavy Bolter GunnerLast week I received my qualification for duty with the heavy weapon teams. Funny how in other regiments those with psychic ability are given almost lavished treatment, but in ours, its like having two working eyes; not that impressive nor uncommon.Neverless, I was posted with 6th Platoon's Heavy Weapon squad. We've been fighting the orks for two weeks now, I don't think I've ever been so scared. Just yesterday, one of their Psykers, some howling mad xeno clad in rags clinging to a staff tipped with the skull of a helmeted eldar, eyes still glowing, rushed our trench. His brain went out in an explosion of lightning which upon contact with a number of the men fighting, caused several cranial explosions, the likes of which I had never seen. Hell, this morning Henrik, my loading assistant, took a round to the shoulder. As he lay down to wait for the medic, his eyes rolled back and off came his fucking arms. HIS ARMS EXPLODED IN A SHOWER OF FUCKING LIGHTNING. By the Emperor's Holy Trousers, I can't take much more of this.
>>19642465So, concise, quick, and extremely terrifying. I see how that works.
>>19642500"You think that's impressive mate? Josek here lost his hand to a dark eldar raider. I don't mean it got cut off, I mean, the xeno bastard knocked Jo's gun away, and his hand detached and went after the bastard. Got him by the throat and everything. I've never seen a xeno shit his pants before, throne, if it wasn't the funniest thing I'd ever seen."
>>19642539Josek's Grasping Hand
Question: Wouldn't the regiment get horribly, horribly raped whenever facing Chaos or Orks?
>>19642500Hahahah this is fucking wonderfulHow the fuck you guys can write all this stuff?
Remember when our regiment lost 4/5ths of it's fighting strength when the Tyranids attacked.That Shadow in the Warp is some crazy shit man.
>>19642566Kind of, but the first ones in end up spawning nightmarish monstrosities that end up fighting whatever it is the Membranes were charging at anyway. So the Mems lose a squad or two which they would have done anyway. The rest of the fight is containing the mess the first wave caused.
>>19640342With troops like ours, it's no wonder the CO is so paranoid.
Are the pilots of our hijacked Imperators also psykers?if so, is it possible to have PSYCHIC IMPERATOR TITANS (just going on the loose and vague similarity to Furioso Dreads)
>>19642751Titan pilots are all already psykers anyway.
So, I'm in the Imperator Titan crew. I'm not even up in the Princeps station, but we all have an important job to do. In addition to making sure the machine spirits are all at their best (hard given that the crew here are all psykers), when the call comes in, we lend our strength to the Princeps.But I tell you, when you lay an Imperator-sized Smite across those Xenos, it's all worthwhile.
> Commanding Officer's log.I've died and gone to a special sort of Hell. There can be no other explanation. Everything since - the crashing ship, the reinforcements, the official regimental commission - it's all just a series of elaborate torments designed to punish me, though Emperor only knows what I did in my life to deserve it.The Departmento Munitorum botched our order. Three thousand tactical helmets, I asked them for, and they send me three thousand helmets of neatly twisted tinfoil. Three thousand chemical warfare suits turned into three thousand chemist's outfits sewn out of mesh. At least they got the weapons right, though I'm damned if I can get the men to pull so much as a bloody knife. No, at the first sign of combat, they all start shooting mind bullets, or else exploding into piles of goop and ruining each other's uniforms.At least they've figured out trenching shovels.My adjutant, Brian Consumptington, is settling in well. As well as can be expected, at any rate. I don't know what backwater-ass planet they pulled him from, but he's never seen a vox caster before. Insists he's hearing voices. I tried to explain it to him, but he just shouted "LALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU!" and pulled his helmet over his ears.They're sending us to some Mechanicus shithole by the name of Phobius IV. Ork invasion, they said. Looters and Mechaniaks, they said. Be prepared for unusual and blasphemous applications of technology, they said. I never thought Orks would seem like a pillar of sanity in this cursed galaxy.That nutter Hera just walked past my door and screamed at me. "SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK," she screamed. I'm getting stronger every day.
Day 27 in the Taros Campaign.The filthy Xenos are putting up a real fight. And it didn't help that 7th and 9th squads both combusted the other day. Not daemons mind you, just fire. Still not terrific for morale though.One of our Imperators shot down a Manta, so at least their that -even if it was accidental ad midst a Daemon incursion on board that was maiming the shit out of the Princeps (we still need a new one)-Today I fried my first Crisis Suit, so at least there's that. But while I was frying it I heard a voice tell me to get Joe next who was standing nearby. I managed not to but I must say that voice was very persuasive... And Joe is an ass, I'm sure... no one will miss him.
Everyone in my squad used to down on me. When they learned I was just a Psi level psyker, they all laughed. Called me weak. That was before they started dying. One by one, they'd cry out suddenly as blood rushed out of their nose. During combat, during chow, Laurence even kicked the bucket while apparently using his psychic powers to aim his dick while pissing.But now, they envy me. Sure, I can't flip a Leman Russ over with my mind, but I'm probably gonna outlive them. Maybe for a few days, anyway, if the Heretics keep up this shelling...
If this regiment is so great, why not just ship them to Armageddon to fix that mess?
>>19642942>Er, boss? Dum humies is actin' really weird-like. Dey'z all explodin' from the 'ead, lightnin' boltz'z flyin everywhere... dis ain't the WAAAAGH I signed up ta...
>>19642942>"SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK," she screamed. I'm getting stronger every day.
>but he's never seen a vox caster before. Insists he's hearing voices.Yay someone made a reference to my short bit about the psyker's stupidity.
In twenty-eight minutes, I will be drinking amasec.Four minutes ago one of my charges suffered an incursion. He repelled it. He won't make it through the year. Three minutes from now I'll be done with the paperwork sending him to the front lines.A month ago we made landing, the energy crackling around our hull putting the storms to shame.Ten minutes from now there will be a fight over a card game gone bad. A week ago it started raining. It will not stop until this planet's summer begins, seventeen days from now.Eleven minutes from now I will arrive, along with the Wardens for 3rd, 16th, and 8th company and the Primaris. We will join in the Unity and with its power force the daemon back into the Warp.Five minutes from now I will be searching for a bottle; it will take me two minutes to find it.A year ago I was chained to a post and slowly losing my mind.Eight minutes from now I will be pouring a glass.Twenty-five minutes from now I will be covered in psychic frost and blood and the bits and pieces of what was once one of my charges.Twenty-eight minutes from now I will be drinking amasec.It will be fantastic.
>>19643090>So great>Guardsmen exploding into lightning, mutating into unspeakable horrors at the drop of a hat>Madness, insanity and paranoia everywhere>Great
>>19642500>Heavy Weapons continuedWith Lance, Freddy and Bogart dead, the squad has been reduced to 3 men, myself included. Henrik's arm-matter royally clogged up the bolter's internals (and ruined my uniform) so I've been posted to the missile launcher. If I thought the bolter was bad, I hadn't seen shit. Since crews are always in pairs and manning a weapon by yourself is madness, the three of us were set to manning the missile launcher. I would find targets, Todd would man the gun and Theo would load it. Two days ago, one of the Ork leaders, a 'Nob' in their xeno-tongue, came within shouting distance of our fox-hole. He bellowed out for the strongest of us to challenge him in close combat. A good third of the platoon got up from cover to fight him, but the Commissar stopped them from rushing. Theo was overcome however. Grabbing one of the frankly MASSIVE missiles, he took it upon himself to charge the savage. This alien towered over him, one of his arms replaced with a crude power-fist, the other carrying a massive chain-axe. Theo wasn't deterred and prepared to ram the missile right at the monster. The commissar shot him as he ran, but if anything, that only propelled him at the beast at a faster rate. Lifting the ordnance above his head, he prepared to duel the ork. The combined explosion of missile and warp-charged mind was something I'd rather never witness again. And if the Orks hadn't thought of ramming missiles as melee weapons to blow things up, they sure as warp will now.
>>19642973Day 30 in the Taros Campaign, diary of Joe Joeington.So compared to how the campaign started, the last 3 days have been relatively relaxing. We made a break through and our Imperator is up and running again (some Admech goon screamed at us about stealing 4 titans and defiling the Machine God's work, but Tobias turned him inside out).I have killed 3 Crisis Suits so far and 23 Fire warriors and everything seems to be going my way... Except Hugh... Ever since he killed his first crisis suit a few days back he's started talking to himself and staring at me. Real thousand yard stare too, really creepy. I think I ought to watch my back...
You know what I think of as I read this? I think of an army in Dungeons and Dragons, all armed with mass-produced Staves of Power. But to cut costs, the Staves of Power were made out of yew and the durability enchantments were skipped.
>>19642942"I saw my first Ork today. Mountain of green, he was. Like a giant muscle with a face. Scared the crap out of me, it did. So me and 9th squad are sitting waiting for the order to go, right? but suddenly there's greenskins everywhere, like they'd just come out of nowhere. We shot them, stabbed 'em and they vanished, into smoke!That was the scout's hallucination of them hitting our camp taken form. Then the orks he saw actually hit our camp. One of 'em, he must of been what, ten, eleven foot tall? Gets the drop on me, raises some giant bloody axe, then I hear Carofelaferrocus, even through my tinfoil hat, he says "LET ME OUT YOU DAMNED FOOL, I AM THE HAMMER ON WHICH WORLDS WERE FORGED, I AM THE NIGHTMARE THAT FOLDS THE DEAD INTO SWORD AND FIRE, I AM THE HOLE IN YOUR FACE THAT'S FILLING WITH THE TEARS OF YOUR ENEMIES, I AM TH->*A short crackle, and the vox-recorder is reset*."I'm... not sure what happened there, servo-skull. Kind of went blank for a minute. Anyways, this voice says to let him handle it, and I do. then for a minute I'm seeing things like I'm behind my own eyes, and all this lightning's coming frmo my hands, cooking the greenskin like a spit pig. Frightened me something awful, I had to change my uniform right after, I did. But we won the day, and the Commissar said only five percent on my squad exploded, and we saved the camp, so we get double amasec tonight!"
>>19643114I enjoyed this.
>>19643201Is this the same 9th squad that would spontaneously combust later >>19642973or did that happen before and these are replacements?Trying to establish a rough timeline.Also, I suck at wikias, anyone here up for making a 1d4chan page?
>>19643234One lot of writefags are talking about an Orc campaign, others about a Tau, just assume the 9th are the ones that explode, and the Tau campaign comes after, somewhere.
>>19643234That proves we're all psykers, I was just thinking about the 1d4chan page. Unfortunately, I too am rather useless in that regard. Perhaps a more talented elegant gentleman can oblige?
>>19643248So Tau come later, so we can assume the 9th fighting the orkz are destined to combustion
>>19643252Tomorrow maybe, I've work tomorrow / later and am spending far too much time writing in this thread, let alone start to put together a 1d4chan page.
dis jurnal uf ogryn camadar bert reportin fer doody SAR!i don haf nufin ta rapertdas muy repartif yu faned dis repert plz giv tu comisar or elz bert not get fud
this thread is why I love you guys
>>19643169Day 36WhelpHugh snapped, came at me in the middle of the night totally on fire (not sure if he combusted or he did it to himself). His right arm was slightly daemonic looking and he screamed "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU JOE!"Put a lighting blast in his face and melted it. Very unpleasant. James sat in the corner giggling and it caused me to laugh too. I don't think it was very funny but I was laughing anyway.Commissar Tiberus came by the other day, looked at Hugh's corpses."Possession" James said suppressing a giggle.Tiberus BLAMED him with mind-bullets. I guess there was someone about James that put him off.That's it for today though, orders to move are coming down.
>>19643169Turns out these Crisis suits are piloted by genuine blue-skinned Tau, same as the Infantry. A few other guys were talking about them being controlled by the xenos' machine spirits, like the drones. Come to think of it, I've only seen a few of the xenos go into battle without some face-covering mask or helmet on. They all have some slit in their foreheads, no nose, but otherwise don't look too different from us. Disgusting, though.I'm one of the few non-psykers in the ground pounders. Most of the uncursed are our officers and commissars. Sometimes I wish I shared in their condition, so I could understand these people better. Andares was part of 8th squad, which formed with us in the 11th due to casualties on both of us. Damn xenos. I told Janos to get down but he said he could "see" that the missile was going to miss. Decided to stand up and be a hero. Sure was an hero all right. Anyway, Andares joined with us. We were on patrol duty the other night and we found a small group of Tau sneaking around a dune, maybe half a klick from base.He and I decide to go pay them a little fire & lightning surprise. I shot a frag in the air with my launcher and Andares made it glow like a sun-sized lho bulb. Then it exploded. I was pretty proud of myself for getting that first shot to land in the midst of about half a dozen of the blue sods.Turns out one of them lived. I let Andares check him out. Big mistake, I think. As the xeno lay dying and choking on his blood (also blue, kind of purple. Hideous as they are, I'd rather look at a Tau than any other xeno.), Andares gets this brilliant idea to try and read its mind. So he sticks his fingers right inside that slit in the thing's forehead and does it. He stops, and he's silent. Staring at the thing's wounds. I took out my laspistol and gave it the Emperor's mercy.
Sounds like this regiment is going to be IG running with Chaos Daemons allies.BRING IT TO LIFE!!!
>>19643438>Chaos Daemon AlliesBUT THEY'RE KILLLLING US
>>19640342>Warrior Weapons +3 ptsI was proud of myself. Assigned to the 3rd Shock Trooper Assault Squad, this fresh out of training! My psychic abilities aided me to predict enemy movements, and the chain sword and laspistol were like extensions of my arms. I was ready to bring death directly to the xenos.What I wasn't prepared for was how literally we are expected to take our name. The first day of training together, they led us to a shooting range, of sorts. Judging by how scorched the targets were, my first assumption was that we'd be familiarizing ourselves with the flamer. Then the order was barked: LIGHTNING, BOYS! ON MY MARK!We'd all tried it before. Who hasn't, if they have sufficient power? We drilled over and over, blasting the targets to smithereens. I thought I was deadly before. Ha! We are the emperors wrath itself, now! The Shock Trooper Assault corps!
> Commanding Officer's Log, cont'd>>19642942Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse...Herlitz has become convinced that he is a horse, and has requested to take the vanguard in the Membranes' rough rider platoon. I told him we didn't have a rough rider platoon. He just said, "Yet." and trotted off. I didn't think humans could trot, but Herlitz gave it the old Schola try. I'm almost tempted to have Hera ride him into battle. She's just mad enough to try it, and light enough that she won't snap Herlitz's back.The Orks don't seem to know quite what to do with us. If they run headlong at us, screaming their warcries, the men have a habit of erupting into tentacles and boils and boiling tentacles and... whatever it was ninth squad's sergeant turned into. I never knew you could fit that many mouths on a creature. So they tried shelling us, but Herlitz has better aim trying to use the latrine on four legs than the Gretchin have firing a field piece. I would call it a small mercy, but when things start going well I start wondering when the other shoe will drop.One of the xenos leaders was some kind of witch. There he was, on the far side of no man's land, shouting something about squiggly beasts and beating us into paste. There was a flash, and the next thing I knew he was right in the middle of Fifth Platoon, shooting lightning from his eyeballs and turning my boys into little walking mouths. I thought they were goners, but I'll be damned if Hera didn't ride up on Herlitz's back holding his hitching post like a lance. I can't really say they "charged," per se, but Hera gave the witch a smack in the head with the hitching post and it just... popped like a frost melon from the cafeteria back at Schola. I'm requisitioning some horse apples from the Munitorum. I'd say Herlitz has earned at least that much.
>>19643406We get started back to base, and I ask him what he saw in the blueberry's head, but Andares just kind of wildly glanced at me, then sunk his gaze down. Left it to me to look around for any more enemies, sodding jerk. Eventually we trade off our duties to the next shift and go to get some shut eye. Andares scribbles in his journal for a good half-hour. Still wouldn't talk to me. He had some of the blue xeno blood on his uniform, and smeared it over a page or two. I shrugged and nodded off.Next morning I try to get to his journal to see what he wrote. His case was locked, so I got Hugh to magic it open for me in exchange for a lho stick and half my drinking rations. I don't blame him for being thirsty out in this desert, but I have no idea why he wanted the stick.So I thumb through the journal. Andares kept regular accounts, usually writing something in there every day, but I skimmed through those. A man's gotta have some privacy in his thoughts, even if he won't give the same privilege to the xenos.. I get to where he was writing yesterday, and there's eight pages of just babbling nonsense. Drawings, mostly. All these circles and cylinders, criss-crossing over each other and running concentric. There were some attempts to draw the symbol the Tau wear on their suits and pauldrons, the kind of 'T' shape in a circle. A few others like it too; other Tau insignia, maybe. I don't know. There were some hourglass-shapes and infinity signs, some heavily crossed out like Andares just drew them so poorly he had to remove their existence from the book, but couldn't do that right either. How do you fail to draw an infinity sign?
>>19643575Weird thing though when I got to the last two pages. Nearly called the commissar right then and there. He cut off his little fingers. Both of his little fingers were there, taped on, bent in some weird angled, 'X'-like pattern. On the next page, the eighth, the Tau's dried and rather bad-smelling blood was smeared over the page in blotches. I tried to make sense of it but gave up after all I could see were screaming faces and monsters. Must be the desert getting to me. Damn Hugh, I wanted that water. I know they were his because his hands were taped when I spied him coming back to the barracks. I hurriedly put the book back, shut the container, and walked out to say hi. I don't think he noticed, although the case was certainly unlocked. Another weird thing about him is he kept Regencio, our squad leader, told me he had been mumbling about the number eight all day. Scratched the numbers up to eight into both sides of his lasgun.I ask around for more info. Over the next two days, I find out he ordered five extra lasgun charge packs from on-base storage, took two off one of the wounded guys the biomancers were trying to fix up (poor Logan. Needs a new set of legs, but at least he lived), and he stole one from me. He stole it right out of my lasgun while we were doing squad maneuvers day before last. Regencio looked at me and chewed me out for "not maintaining proper care of my weapon." I quickly jammed another pack in and when I looked for the one I dropped in the sand, it was gone. I think Andares found out I read his journal.
>>19643546> Herlitz wants to be a horse.oh god my sides.
>>19643663All this number eight business was really bugging me, so I went to the commissar that night. He thanked me for the information and told me not to worry about it. We get woken up by the commissar and his bodyguards yesterday night (graciously waking me up from a nightmare of swords and blood). They take Andares's case and drag him out of bed, then over to somewhere else on base. Tired, confused, babbling about swords and blood. Looking back on it, I should've known I was getting that dream from him. Well, this afternoon, after 11th squad came back from an unexciting patrol, we find the base is frantic with activity. Only a hundred of us there, if that, but it seemed like the aliens had brought the fight to us. Our squad rushes inside, or nearly inside, when crashing out of the main gate comes the broken body of the commissar. Sword still in his hand, miraculously. Following after him is Andares, floating a little over the ground, blood dripping from his hands, feet, off his body...like he was sweating it. Lasgun in one hand, other hand spewing lightning. I'd seen half the guys I've been with do similar things, but not the dripping blood trick. Regencio gives the order to open fire, and we do. I couldn't aim the grenade launcher as well this time, but with lightning and firepower our squad bring him down.Now I'm in the Company Commander's personal Chimera, and I'm being asked how much I care for corn. Thank the Emperor I'm not a psyker.
we will bring you the light of the greater good gue'la.*crackle crackle pow*uuhhh gue'la....whered you go?
>>19642942>My adjutant, Brian Consumptington,>Brian Consumptington,I lol'd
>>19643744> Commanding officer's log, cont'd againBloody Xymar won't answer my question. All I wanted to know is if he liked corn. Only I've got six ears of it up here in the command chair and I thought I'd share. I thought he was one of the normal ones, but he's been narrating his life like some kind of damn story for the last fifteen minutes. As though an author would waste ink on our miserable little circus.
>>19643824"...Go forth and spread the word about Khorne. Parents named their children and pets "Khorne."..."
>>19643492Yes, IG with chaos daemon allies, but you randomly attack both sides. Also spam psykers.
bump for a 1d4chan page
>>19644356Well I started it, don't say I didn't warn you about shittyness though.http://1d4chan.org/wiki/1st_MembranesSOMEBODY MAKE IT PRETTY
>This entire threadI leave it open for the night and this is what it's become. Glorious.
drawfag here, I'm on it.
>>19644705this is nice already, well it's a start.
Drawfag, I hereby bestow upon you the title of Hero of the Interbutts.All we need is some tinfoil hats
>>19649945Friendship is OH GOD THEY'RE CRAWLING OUT OF MY EYES!
>>19648965>>19648999Glorious. Can somebody who is more knowledgeable with wiki's than I include them? Like I said before, somebody make it pretty.
>>19650148I'd do it, but I'm not sure how either.
>>19643438Suddenly Inquisition get in on this. What do?
>>19650632completely ignore themthis kills the stue.
>>19650632We outrun them like always following Imperial High Command's orders
Had no idea this thread was still alive.The wiki page needs some more content and organisation (above all organisation, that writefaggotry part is a mess)
>>19651858Agreed, I just wanted to get it in one place and saved. I'm not very sure what the order should be in, I left that to somebody more organizationally suited than myself.Kudos to whoever put the images in.
Hey, >>19641334 and >>19641634 here.Words can not express how proud I am.
>>19642942>>19643546These two are me, and should be in order. Dunno about the rest though. Technically, the post about corn >>19643824 was also me, but I was just being ridiculous at that point.
>>19652172I think I got peoples posts into the right sections, I'm just not sure what order those sections should go in, what they should be titled, how separate "journal entries" should be differentiated, etc.As for my posts, >>19643535>>19643087>>19642293They don't really have a certain order or place in the timeline, so I'm not sure where to put them either. Eh, somebody will figure it out, I'm sure.
I posted the Imperator bit. I really just wanted some fluff for the titans, but I cannot into titans much.Still. Write more fluff?
>>19643130Painted with mouse. more to come
I suppose >>19655833 belongs to this threads artfagging?
>>19658455Yep, it was. Didn't realize this thread was still alive, got confused by the maintenance. But, yeah, Hera, the small batshit insane psyker guard. I kinda like this whole regime, so if anyone has anything specific to be drawn, or a better drawing of Hera, then I'll try to see what I can come up with.
>>19659033And then the delete actually worked. Oh well, now at least the pics go to the right thread.
>>19657899> right sideThat's a damn funny iPod you have there.
>>19659045And the "sanity is for the weak" version.
And here's something else.
>>19649029Was the original that I based >>19659824 on.Just to be clear.
It was three days after commencing the Siege of Cabalot that the 13th Squad spearheaded through their lines. What we thought was just a planetary uprising turned out to be a Genestealer cult in full force. Half the rebels were Emperor-forsaken hybrids by this point.The commander wanted to continue orbital bombardment, but Sgt. Revok said he...heard some advice about a weak point in the wall, and before anyone could say otherwise, the Sarge's entire squad was sprinting as fast as a landspeeder and crashed through the wall.We lost sight of them for a few minutes, but the sounds told us they found the enemy. Screams, explosions, lightning. I swear to the Throne I saw a tiny raincloud form out of the clear sky and rain buckets of blood on the city.And then ten minutes later, the main gate to the city drops open and our mechanized divisions roll in. Sgt. Revok was waiting for us, fitting his helmet back on his head and trying to wipe the blood off his uniform. The commander asked him what happened to his squad. Sarge just shook his head and said the Emperor's Mercy had finally found them.
10th squad is jokingly known as 'the berserkers'. We're all biomancers, but we focus on making ourselves stronger more than shooting lightning at our foes. One time, Matt, the guy you replaced, got a crazy idea. We could become an air squad. He had figured out how to grow wings, and started divebombing the Orks we were fighting at the time. Thing was, his wings got covered in what passed for blood, and then he started yelling something about being Sanguinius reborn.Then his head exploded. Not from a misfire, but from the commissar's bolt pistol. Since then, we've stayed on the ground.
>>19661013Nobody ever "wants" to get assigned to 13th Squad. They say its the closest thing we've got to a penal unit. Sure its one of the most decorated units in the regiment famed for cracking the toughest defenses, but all those medals keep going to the sole surviving member of the squad. Sgt. Revok. Revok's a damn good telepath, but there's...rumors about why he's the only one to come out of his squad. Some say he's just that good. Others that he gets his own squad fragged when he starts reading their minds. And some people say its because he's got a "friend" that talks to him, warning him about trouble and giving him a leg up in exchange for some kind of favor. That's probably just crazy talk, but then again, troopers that talk about that too loudly have a tendency of getting promoted to 13th Squad whenever they need replacements...
Decided to try and get the shout in some calligraphy. Now I start to wish I would have used more time drawing this.Oh well, live and learn.
A quick scratching of sarge Verok.
So one time, me and some of the other guys in 10th decided to just hit the guys with some good old-fashioned lightning. So there we are, in the trenches, getting ready to fire when Chaz says 'hold on guys!' Next thing I know I'm in the middle of a Tau artillery line, and they looked as surprised as I was. We took out about 5 of the broadsides, then just started punching our way back through the fire warriors and kroot. That's when we got the nickname berserkers, cause everyone one of us, covered in our own blood and that of the Tau, proceeded to beat the shit out of Chaz.One day later, after healing himself, we were all laughing about it, if the laughter was a bit hysterical.So that's why we're called the berserkers.
Hoping that there's still some time before bump limit.